I’m Back

I just got back from the hospital.

I don't fucking think I'm a bitch, but fuck you!

You understand me?

Listening House Radio Podcast.

Oh my god, did I do it?

Did I finally get it to work? Wow!

Hey everybody, it'll be Sunday to you all.

Uh, Tuck is here with me, I believe.

Tuck, are you there? Hello!

How are you? Alright, never been better.

Good, so you're alive and everything.

Oh, huh. Yeah.

Yeah, just barely.

Ain't that a hell of a switch to what everyone was saying?

and we got egg in our faces.

Yeah, you're just

already divvying up

the Madhouse Empire.

This just doesn't,

I'm trying to do this

with the ear,

like the head plugs,

you know, the ear plugs,

but there's nothing

like a good pair of ear cans.

You just can't.

Oh, yeah.

I wouldn't even

miss this time.

Remember that when I do

the next show in six months.

Yeah.

I think I might be better

without glasses for this.

Let's see.

I'm still blind.

Anyway.

Squint,

use one eye

and just get really close.

Anyway, everybody,

this is Madhouse Radio.

you i'm carlito i'm back uh i will be more than happy to update you on what's been going on with

me for the last several months um but i'm good i'm all right you know uh tuck you've been okay

i know you've been drawing away over there drawing marijuana comic books hey yeah uh

hi buddies.com and uh that's all just please go there and just look at all the uh comics are up

there and uh you know uh spread the word um don't promote anything and i'm going to promote that

these days uh promote that hi buddies.com yep yeah i'm drawing and working and uh doing a lot

of behind the scenes action going on and um keeping busy and uh trying to uh plot out my

kind of future path cool and it's my next thing cool man sounds good all right we lost uh we lost

evil already because i realized i don't have the uh unlimited calling it's by the second you know

2.3 cents per minute on skype right now oh right oh really he's on this i was calling him on his

cell phone not via skype i was like that's not well yeah and he was high and disoriented and

didn't really care that's a no big loss then all right maybe if he can jump on skype i don't know

yeah skype party skype s-k-y-p-e.com there you go he was quote unquote now he he does a lot of drugs

now um mdma um well i guess he would explain for all that well the other day not me the other day

he came up with an idea he put a garbage bag over his head with some canned air or something oh no

oh my god has it gone to the banana peels yet in the custard or whatever it is is that for real

banana peels i heard yeah all of those just make you think i'm gonna have a boy i can't wait for

That's what that is.

Well, he told me he did the nutmeg, too,

because he heard that one word.

Nutmeg.

That's what I was thinking of, the nutmeg.

Yeah.

He said he tried it, it didn't work,

and I said, dude, I heard that's like the worst high

you could ever do.

Oh, yeah, it's awful.

Oh, God.

I remember back in the college days,

two guys walked in, said they did,

they just had this weird look on their face,

and they're clutching their chest,

and we just laughed at them.

You went to college?

Yeah.

I'm not so, I don't know.

Cool, good for you, Tuck.

Why did you major in?

Liberal studies?

Liberal, yeah.

study art and stuff

just you know

just learn some

basic stuff

liberal studies

yeah whatever

yeah

liberal studies

I can't believe

they even

I'm sorry

talk it

but I was right

it's a bullshit

I admit

yeah that's like

the people that

what are some other

bullshit majors

you can get in high

schools

liberal studies

I hear

I hear communications

if you want to get

into radio

is pretty much

bullshit

there's no

I mean if you

want to get

into radio

you should just

get a job

in a radio station

it doesn't help out

Yeah, I mean, nowadays, if you're podcasting, you're good

because that's the best training you're going to get for free

without checking out bucks.

You'll probably get a bigger market, bigger audience these days.

Yeah, exactly.

You don't, yeah, you don't really need,

see, kids, you don't need art school,

you don't need communications, radio school,

because radio, that's dead.

We all know that.

Podcasting, that's where it is,

where all the people listen to iTunes.

That's all you got to do.

That's where all the money's at, man.

That's all you want?

Yeah.

That's all the ladies had.

So, yeah, I don't know.

You guys probably know, most of you who listened to the show,

the last podcast was...

When was that talk?

I don't even remember.

I don't know now.

I want to maybe begin in spring.

Maybe it might not even have been that.

It might have even been more winter.

Let's see.

What does your catalog say?

What does your log say?

I don't know.

It's broadcast.

broadcasting well i can't read it's epic all right so here we go all right so i know all right my so

i had my first trip to the hospital was april 14th we did we did the last show the last madhouse show

was a week before that okay to the day so i think i was kind of right in spring yeah so april 7th

was the last madhouse radio show and then i think sometime in late may i did a show well um

um rbcp did a madhouse show for like an hour and he had me on i explained what was going on but

that was like that that was like four months ago no well let's not let's not take into account you

moved and so there's a whole transition from when you are moving and we were like taking over we

were like hosting between me and the pla kids and uh we did that for a while until you kind of get

It settled in, and you did a few posts of that, but then you got sick, and then the kind of wall went kind of down.

Right.

Right, all right.

So, yeah, I finally got everything settled, got this new studio set up, done, got into the apartment here.

And then a week later, basically I had an appendectomy, had appendicitis, basically.

We've already explained this.

I have already three days after my appendix burst, I finally went to the hospital because I didn't have insurance.

i didn't feel like going i was concerned about the insurance and this and that anyway it almost

killed me i was like within 12 hours of going to some kind of weird something so anyway that was

the last update you know i was i was coming back from it you know i still had this pick line in my

arm for antibiotics and stuff like that and uh so anyway i started like my certain i had a surgery

wound it was about i think it was seven inches length about an inch wide and it went down maybe

maybe about two or three.

I was all healed up, just about all healed up.

I got the IV line taken out of my arm,

and I was just on oral antibiotics and stuff.

And I was about a week away from being able to go back to work.

I interviewed for a new job.

I was ready to go.

And then all of a sudden, I developed an infection in the surgery site.

And all of a sudden, I'm back in the hospital all over again.

Yeah, and it wasn't pretty.

So basically what happened, this is Fourth of July weekend.

I was just about healed up, Fourth of July weekend,

and end up back in the hospital, and I'm thinking,

oh, you know, they'll give me some antibiotics.

They're like, no, apparently there was some big mistake

when you had surgery back in April.

The surgeon did it wrong.

He stitched you up wrong.

We're going to have to go in there and open you up

and do it all from scratch.

Oh, shit.

And then all that healing you did, we're going to cut all that out

and give you a, they basically put a wound in my abdomen

that you could fit a nice-sized drinking glass,

would fit inside my belly, basically.

that's how we're talking like deep all the way up to the covering that covers the intestines and

stuff we're talking you get a hole in there all right there was there was yeah again to that it

was a huge huge massive hole very scary looking wound and that i did end up after they had taken

it out ended up back with my let me show it here this is my pick line back again and three four

times a day i inject myself with antibiotics right here saline and i gotta do it all sorry

If you had to stream up, I'd want to see that.

Well, it should be.

I've got the video going, but, yeah, it's up.

You streamed up.

It isn't.

It should be.

I'm recording.

I don't know.

It would mess my stream up.

Okay.

Well, they're seeing it.

Okay.

So that happened, and then I got to also hang on.

Let me show you here.

This is a wondrous machine.

You can't see the cabling for it, but this is actually a wound vac.

It is a vacuum.

Two.

A vacuum.

That is connected to me by a hose.

Really?

So you're a rogue.

So you're a cyborg, Carlito, now.

Basically, I'm more, yeah, I'm like Darth Vader, twisted and evil.

Yeah.

More machine now than man, basically.

I probably only have a week left of that.

But basically, it's connected by a hose to this airtight bandage on my wound,

and that constantly draws air to the top, and it keeps infection from sending in.

It heals wounds in, like, a third of the time than it normally would take.

so it's a great it's it's relatively new it's only been out for the last five or six years i think

uh in the american market oh but this time around yeah my my wound is basically almost healed up

nice and clean this time around they got this machine they're expecting to take me off of it

next week they're expecting to get this line out of my arm and um i'm guessing i'm hoping maybe

within a week or two i'll be back to normal but at the same time lost my eyesight basically my

left eye this eye right here completely you're telling me about that completely completely blind

left eye really let me see i don't think you could see it was really red because i had surgery last

week on the eye they basically they uh i went out again for surgery uh third third surgery third

surgery uh since this all happened went out they basically went into my eye with needles

they drained the eye of all that liquid that it has it has like this gel inside of it they drained

it all they lasered it they removed all this blood that was in my eye and they filled it up

with saline and supposedly the doctor says i have a good chance of getting my vision back and it's

It's gotten better because now instead of – it used to be just blackness last week,

and now I can see light.

Like I can see this light that's right here.

I can see it filtering, and I see colors and stuff, but I can't make anything out.

I lost 40% in my right eye here.

So I have to have glasses to see distance.

I can't see close up.

I have to be really up close.

That's why they see this monitor is so far up now.

It's still really hard to see.

So hopefully in the next few weeks I'll get my left eye back

and my right eye might improve a little bit.

it and so so it's so so you get your eye in a hawk right now once you get your eye back yes

i've got it high but it's worthless right it doesn't do anything right it's just i see colors

i see little shadows and stuff when i do this yeah maybe cool you're high yeah i don't do that

anymore i'm too i would be too scared to do it now i'm afraid what the fuck it'll do to me this

so i don't and now with all it was supposed to be uh healing uh that's what the kooks that uh

I'll hang out with and businesses tell me

it's supposed to be healing.

The people you do business with.

Medical marijuana.

Normal.

Is that who sponsors HiBuddies?

Cures cancer.

It says.

It says that.

Cures sadness.

Look into it.

That's it.

That's not cure cancer.

Wonder drug.

It's like one of those George Washington Carver things

where you can live off of marijuana.

marijuana can you make milk out of marijuana yeah yeah we good yeah hemp milk he invented

the peanut and hemp milk the world could survive on the peanut and hemp yes beautiful yes all right

so that's my sad story that's where i've been uh i don't know when i'll do the next show but for now

i just felt like doing a damn show uh i say we do some prank calls see if i can make it happen

see if we can make it work you have to forgive me because i actually get really close to the

laptop to read what Lonesome Loser is sending,

but he is sending in numbers. Thank you, sir.

Appreciate it. Yep. He's doing it.

He's there. He's about it. Yeah, he's

there. He's doing his thing. He's giving the things.

He is doing his

part in the war.

We've got a downtown restaurant named Harry's in St.

Louis, Moe. Let's give him a call. It's been the first

prank in a long time. Moe.

Hey, big buddy. How's my audio

coming in? Are you on Skype or are you calling

from your phone? On the phone. On Skype.

Skype on the phone? Yeah.

On the H? Huh?

On the HTC Evo.

You've got the app?

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, that's good.

Hey, do me a favor.

Yeah.

Hey, call back because I forgot to conference you.

Hang up, call back, all right?

People.

Anyone I know?

Waiting for you to be funny.

Once this margarita kicks in, it's going to be one of those nights.

Yeah, it is.

This fucking Skype shit, bitch, fucking work, fucking shit.

Calm down, yo.

Take a hit.

Now it's official.

Now we're madhouse.

So why'd you start smoking pot, Artie?

Was that just a thing?

Why or when?

Why?

After you gave me the first hit at your house back a couple years ago.

Yeah, was that my fault?

I didn't get high.

Okay.

So then I tried another time.

I didn't get high about a year later.

And then one of my friends said, hey, let's chill and we'll smoke.

And I'm like, yeah, I'll try it again.

And I got stoned and I loved it.

You're not going to interrupt calls when I do them, right?

Because sometimes you get this thing where you just want to jump in and I get mad.

No, of course not, Carlito.

He's a good boy.

He's still now.

It's a whole different time in his life.

He's grown up.

Carlito, do you remember that?

Who's breathing?

Do you remember that shit?

Yep.

Who are we calling?

Nobody.

You're not calling?

Hey, quiet.

You already messed up with the thing.

Hello?

Hey, yeah.

Hello?

Yes.

Listen, I was there with my daughter, okay?

We used the restroom and there was a man

and I think he was smoking

inside the bathroom.

Now? Yes.

I think it's one of the employees.

Hey, Artie.

What did I say about interrupting the call?

Mute your mic.

I don't know how.

You'd like it if I started smoking in the background.

I never said that. When did I say that?

When you said some guy was smoking.

Yo, Artie, you should do drugs.

Mute your mic.

I can't.

Called the wrong number.

Oh, let's call them about the problem I had at Walmart, dude.

Well, it wasn't a problem, but I found an empty box of lube, strawberry-flavored lube, in the bathroom stall.

You're going to call the restaurant and tell them about the problem at Walmart?

Uh-huh.

You do it.

Are you washing clothes?

I actually do that.

Hello?

Yeah.

Downtown Harry's?

Yeah.

Where did you find that about the man smoking?

No, there's nobody in there, and there's no smoke in my men's room either.

Yeah, I know, but there was someone in there definitely smoking.

I have no smoke in there.

There's nobody in there.

Is there, do you have any, like, records of who might have been in there, like a key system?

He was an employee there probably, you know.

Pardon me?

Do you drug test the employees there?

Do I do what?

Drug test the employees.

I don't, don't employees I got here behind the bar.

Yeah, so are they drug tested, are they not, you know?

Are they what, sir?

Drug tested?

Yes.

All of them.

One of them was there smoking right now.

You understand what I'm saying?

I went inside with my daughter.

There's nobody in my bathroom, sir, that's smoking.

There's no smoke in my bathroom.

I just come from there myself, personally.

Okay.

It doesn't smell like smoke or anything.

Are you willing to submit to a polygraph test?

Pardon me?

Are you willing to submit to a polygraph test without a fact?

Am I willing to?

Why don't you have your lawyer contact me?

No, I'm a lawyer.

Thank you very much.

I'm a lawyer!

Damn it.

You need to hang up.

No.

Hello?

Yes, sir?

Sir, how are you, sir?

Hello?

We're running the test.

We're running the test right now, sir.

And you're failing.

He's still there.

Sir, yes or no answers only, please.

You fat fucker.

He sounds like a fat fucker.

He is. He's on the line now. Tell him.

Hello, Mr. Restaurant.

Hello, I'm Mr. Restaurant.

We have control of your phone line until you...

Would you like some food?

I'm Mr. Restaurant.

Quiet. Quiet on the set.

What's that noise?

He's back there.

We got a trace on this yet?

Should be able to trace it now.

It only takes 20 seconds to get it done.

This is AT&T. Hello.

Hello.

AT&T operator, hello.

We got the trace. Let's go.

Suddenly, it's 1975 all over again.

When you keep him on the line, he changes the call with the wires.

With the analog wiring.

The FBF unfreaking.

1974.

That was funny.

Why can't he hang up the phone? What is wrong with this guy?

Let's call him back!

No, this is fun because his phone's tied up. He keeps checking it.

Hello? AT&T?

I'm Mr. Restaurant. Would you like some food?

welcome to harry's st louis's hot spot

you'll have to experience this yourself and experience shit i'm calling back

i want to talk to him of course of course you'd call harry's it's a service may i help you yeah

you were tracing the call excuse me this is harry's may i help you yeah you were tracing the call

hello hello yeah something about you tracing the call this is the bar what can i do for you

yeah did you trace the call sir who are you what are you talking about you're i was talking to

a gentleman he said he was tracing the call which gentleman was that sir i don't know one of the

effeminate guy over there can i help you with anything the phone trace yes i have the information

for you okay go ahead okay you got the information for me i'm waiting for it let's hear okay i have

your data code you have my data code wow that's awesome this is so 1970s it's 7176 7176 oh yeah

Yeah. That's my credit card number, sir.

Okay.

So, go charge something.

Okay.

All right.

What the fuck is that?

It's the 1970s.

What the hell?

7-1-7-6.

Artie, you talk to him, okay?

I can't right now, dude.

Artie, you can't.

Oh, I'm so high.

This isn't when you do it.

Come on, Artie. Don't be a faggot. Come on.

I can't do it. Do it. Do it.

God, man.

You're going to smoke weed for it. You can't do pranks.

Turn your fan off.

I'm hot.

Todd.

Take off your shirt.

Really?

Hey, Spawn Harry's.

Hey, how you doing, bro?

Me and this girl are coming over, and I want to know your smoking policy.

Okay, I'm going to call the operator.

The smoking is outside only.

Okay, and what about, like, maybe in the bathroom?

Can we smoke in there while we're smoking?

Okay, I'll tell you what, sir.

You're going to call here one more time.

I'm going to call the operator, have them put a trace on it, and I'll have the police call you.

That's so 1970s.

Go ahead and call one more time, sir, all right?

That's so 1970s, man.

All right.

All right, Tuck.

Do you want to try and ask about smoking?

I guess so, but I already know what the show title is.

Smoking in the bathroom.

No, it's so 1970s.

Yeah, there you go.

I was wondering about your smoking rules at your establishment.

I like to eat food and smoke my big Sherlock pipe.

And I was hoping that I could do it in your establishment.

Or do I have to sit in your patio?

We're not smoking.

You're not smoking, but I can smoke.

If you're not smoking...

On the patio, yeah.

Oh, thank you so much.

Thank you.

I will take my big shirt back and smoke it.

Thank you.

Talk for that nice conversation.

Oh, thank you.

It was nice to meet you.

I don't know what y'all's problem is.

Shit.

That was another guy.

He wasn't down.

He didn't know what was happening.

Like, oh, I didn't want to smoke.

It was nice.

It was nice of me.

Yeah, sure.

So, like, send that to me from this.

And then we'll hang out a little bit.

Yeah.

All right, hang on, guys.

I'll get another number here.

I'm hungry.

Oh, no way.

Domino's.

The new Domino's is awesome.

I know.

And the fucking pastas are good.

Oh, I haven't had those yet.

Their sandwiches are good.

Their sandwiches at Domino's are good.

Yeah.

I was getting them all the time at UCF because of the Domino's.

I think they were open until, like, 3.

Did you ever go to that, um, speaking of UCF,

Did you ever go to that alien pizza, UFO pizza?

You know what I'm talking about?

No, I never heard of it.

It's across the street from UCF.

It has like $3 pizzas every night.

Wow.

$3 large pie, unlimited toppings.

Obviously, it's gone, because Artie would have gone there every night.

Oh, you know.

Yeah, my fucking budget.

No, you know what?

You know the Sbarro at UCF, at the Student Union, Artie?

Yeah.

When I was there, when I was going to that campus,

after 8 o'clock, the guy used to put all his pizza for a dollar.

Oh, really?

Yeah, all his leftover pizza.

And I'd go every night.

I'd be like, what do you got today?

He'd say, oh, I got a pepperoni and half a sausage.

I'm like, all right.

So there are two bucks.

I take it and eat it all by myself.

He probably gave it for you for two bucks and gave all the asses a party price.

So here comes that fat Puerto Rican again.

Here comes Jack Masterson again.

I'm going to make him die better.

You sound more like Milkman there.

Yeah, I don't have a sharpie in my mouth.

Sorry.

Sorry I wasn't ready.

You should be prepared, always.

So what are you smoking out of?

What's your pale fornilia apparatus?

A bowl.

What kind of bowl?

Glass?

Glass.

I fucking did a metal one once, and I almost puked.

Yeah.

Yeah, you don't want that.

Glass, man.

Stick to glass.

Or ceramic, right?

Pyrex, Pyrex.

I never used ceramic.

Ceramic is all right, too, yeah.

I never smoked anything ceramic when I used to smoke, never.

Just Pyrex glass.

I thought you were one with ceramic.

Wood, acrylic, glass, rarely.

Metal, a lot of metal.

Paper, maybe too much metal.

The last few years that I smoked, I was most out of soda cans.

Yeah.

Well, the reason why wasn't because I had low standards,

because I was always going to work, you know, smoking, like, on my brakes and stuff.

So I didn't want to have a pipe on me, so I just used a soda can.

Yeah, you can makeshift it.

Yeah, basically I travel with a soda can and enough to get high for my break time,

my lunch time, and a push pin in my car.

So the idea was if I got pulled over on the way to work,

I would, you know, put the little bit of butt in my mouth

and swallow it with the soda can, the soda in it, you know.

And if not, then I would either dump the soda out or drink it during the day,

and then I would make a bowl out of it with a pushpin, make little holes,

and smoke out of that, and then throw away the can after.

Smash the can.

I don't think anyone would do that for us.

I think basically what I did was I would just have a roach in the cavern

and smoke as much as I could, and then just get it to a pill size

and just swallow the rest of it.

Swallow.

yeah i prefer i prefer just to bring um a joint or a blunt you know that's a lot easier isn't it

yeah yeah it is it is well yeah you could lose it in your car like rd did once he's like oh there's

a bullet in my car so we're let's find out like seriously like you just lose that shit you know

like that's no someone else who lost it oh okay well this is your car man yeah they found it say

that to the cop the cop pulls you over you haven't been smoking for six months but that's

assholes, whatever, are still

in it, and he finds it. Oh, that's not mine.

Oh, okay. Well, I had

smoked five hours prior to

that incident.

Okay. But you're innocent.

Never mind. Jeez.

Okay, Mr. Artie. Yeah, you're good.

Thank you. You're free

to go, sir. Free to go. Nothing to see here.

No, when the cop pulls you over, you tell him,

yeah, I wouldn't be speeding because I never speed while I have drugs on me, sir.

There's no fucking way.

You might get away with that.

Look, when I'm high, I drive slow, officer, okay?

That'd be funny if you said that, what he'd say.

Because he'll search you, and when he finds nothing, you know, it'd just be funny.

No, they'll find something.

The cops are where you live.

They'll put shit in your car, man.

I'm not joking.

Hey, cop.

Yeah.

Calling pizza.

All right.

Mute, mute, mute.

On to a Trojan cock ring.

I'm going to answer there.

Thanks to Artie.

Thanks a lot, Artie.

What happened?

Because of you, they didn't answer.

I thought you were going to call.

Because I did this?

Yeah, because you did this.

Yeah, you go out and break all the rules.

I'm out of drink.

Got a Chinese place.

You got a Chinese place.

What about me?

You want to call Charlie?

I've got it.

You know, let's see if the drop-in's open.

Let's do that.

Well, no, I have a cell number.

I got it here.

I got it saved in Skype.

Oh, you do?

Yep.

Ever tell the story of how I found it?

Yeah, tell us about that.

You found Charlie's cell phone number, right?

yeah because i kept calling him and one time i called him like during um after hours and i think

he had the calls forwarded because it went to a voicemail and it said a different number than the

one i was calling i'm like what the fuck is this so i copied the number and it's his direct line

okay i assume it's his cell so he transfers his uh business number to his cell phone yeah but

when you call it it says you have called blah blah blah blah blah and you wrote it down okay

Okay. Makes sense.

That makes sense why I called him on Thanksgiving

and the wife answered

and it sounded like she was on the road

on a cell phone. I was confused.

That's weird.

I wasn't expecting her to pick up.

You're not really hating when people do that.

You know I fired Milkman from the show for a whole year

because he kept burping.

Really?

I'll be right back.

Oh joy.

It's just going to connect.

There it goes.

You're already peeing.

Hello.

Yes, hi.

Are you still taking orders or are you closed on Sunday?

Oh, Chris, only dinner open.

Only dinner?

Yeah, 5 o'clock open to 10.

Okay, so I still have some time?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay, sorry.

Do you have house fried rice there?

Yeah, house fried rice, yes.

Do you have eggs and peas in it?

Eggs and peas.

Eggs, peas, and you put soy sauce?

Eggs, peas, we don't have this one.

Do you put any vegetables inside the house fried rice?

rice yeah just oh you mean the house fighters inside have a pizza egg inside sausage chicken

inside yes chicken and uh any egg in there egg yes okay and then chicken sausage sausage any

rice in it yes okay you put soy sauce in and you boil it the the soy sauce yes see what you do is

you take the rice and you put it in the water and you boil the rice until the water goes away

and you turn it a few times right hello yeah say again please yeah what you do is you take the rice

and you put it in the water right yeah right yeah yes and you put some soy sauce and you you make

the rice you put the boiling in the water and the water it goes away and then you add some egg and

the peas and the vegetables and the carrots and the chicken right yes and then then you take a

a big shit in it for what you take a big shit and piss inside of the rice you understand we put have

a lot of soap inside uh you put the meat not the shrimp this is the house by rice yes okay where's

charlie at put him on put him on damn it man so close so so close i thought we had him you know

i said i remember you know that well it transferred over to his cell damn it he was on there and i

I said the shit and piss, and he didn't react right there.

I had him.

Because he knew you were.

Oh, but he was.

No, she wasn't laying in there.

No, she wasn't.

She wasn't.

But he reacted.

He heard him go, the wala, the wala.

He says that.

She remember.

He's got that curse.

He goes, the wala, him, ga, ga, ga.

He does say that.

When he gets really mad, he goes, I fuck you, the wala, him, ga, ga, ga.

He says something like that every time.

Oh, George to sigh.

I thought you were dead.

I killed you.

Call him back.

For what, Artie?

For what?

Why?

You might get him.

No, we won't.

We won't now because they already know who he is.

They're not going to do it now.

We'll prove it to Artie.

Look, so Artie shuts up.

Okay.

No.

Shut up.

Mute and let him do it.

Yes, hi.

I was wondering, you put the rice with the soy sauce?

Hey, hey, come up.

Hey, I call police.

No.

You understand?

I'm sorry.

You always call this number you just

Look I'm confused okay

You understand

Listen are those raisins in the rice or did you put shit in it

Tell me the truth

Yeah if you want to put

Raisins or

I asked my doctor to call you okay

Your daughter

No my doctor

Your doctor

Yeah so you sick already you know you understand

No no I just got back from the hospital

You understand

Shame on you.

There we go.

All right.

You get a gold star.

You know, your first gold star ever on Madhouse.

Congratulations.

You were right.

Well, I get a gold star for it.

You were right.

You said we should call him back.

He forgot already because he's telling me he forgot.

He already forgot.

His memory's gone.

He's like, Carlito, what are you doing on the phone?

I've been pranking him a lot, dude.

I know.

You have?

Him and Lonesome think it's funny to call all my numbers and harass him and not record the calls.

I have some recordings.

Well, yeah.

Well, share them, man.

Share them.

Come on, man.

I don't know where they are.

I'm too stoned to know.

He's been calling Junkbuster.

You had good calls with Junkbuster, right?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah?

What did you do?

Tell us about Junkbuster.

What have you done with Junkbuster?

All I did was I said I had some junk I need picked up, and he was serious.

He's like, okay, well, obviously he's never heard my voice, you know?

Obviously.

Yeah, he called him 50 more times.

So what happens is I call him, and I'm like, yeah, I need some trash picked up.

And he's like, oh, what is it?

And I'm like, it's a giant bag of dildos.

And then he flipped on me thinking I was you.

You fucking wetback.

You call me a wetback.

Oh, shit.

He said I'd be biting the jail bars very soon.

Did he say that?

Yeah.

He told Reckless he was going to take him to the jail stairs.

The jail stairs.

stairs he's like you're gonna be biting the jail bars whatever so what's up uh ricklude where is

he been he doesn't ever it seems sometimes he doesn't he's busy he's all right mr hollywood

now and fancy pants hollywood man can't be bothered once you put those sunglasses on

you don't take them off again i'll tell you i'm sold out like sean ward yeah too good for

prank calls now he did he did prank calls once uh his first show he did when he's new show and

that's it yeah that's it whatever it's like bill cosby bill cosby got rich and famous and then he

left uh he left harlem and never went back yeah oh no yeah he didn't go back let's go back there

excuse me i'm sorry i forgot i'm so high guys i'm not too high it's already big night tonight

we got our fantasy football league yeah is tuck in it no talk sports why not

tuck he can't play sports he broke his arm once playing volleyball in elementary school

he's never played a sport ever since he must be too effeminate oh

oh already what's up you know tuck is he's a pretty strong dude man is he yeah he's a black

Really? I never knew that.

I'm just fucking around, though.

No, but he's a black belt. He's a tough guy.

He's an athlete.

I'm an athlete.

Okay, what do you do?

I play fantasy football.

Yeah, I see.

Football's a little too gay for me

because they all run out of the back of the game

shouting at each other.

That's a little bit too queer of me.

I don't know about y'all.

That's a little bit too queer of me.

He's got a point.

I didn't hear what he said.

We started up a Madhouse Radio Fantasy Football League.

Finally got enough people interested this season.

We got eight players.

Our draft's tonight at 10 p.m.

I honestly don't know anything, don't know enough about that sort of thing

to even know what to do.

Do you know anything about football?

I could, as in just a fluke, and probably end up winning

because I really don't know what the fuck I would be doing.

Do you watch football at all?

Are you a volunteers fan?

I know what football is.

Do you watch the Vols or anything?

thing i mean yeah on sunday sunday dinner uh you know my my family will have it on

there usually be a game on and you know i could see him running down the field but i'm not gonna

tell you their names oh my god you can't tell me what you said you were what city are these guys

playing oh okay already in the black okay yeah that's about the extent of it you like that

And I might watch it, you know, glancing as I'm eating and talking for,

what, there's like maybe 20, 30 minutes and I'm done.

I don't know who won or give or even care.

Mm-mm-mm.

All right.

Yeah.

I'm a sissy fag boy, art boy.

That's all right.

It's okay to be like that.

You don't like sports.

Zola doesn't like sports.

Okay.

Is that one of the manliest guys I know?

Golden Dragon restaurant?

Yeah, hi.

This is a Chinese place with a house fried rice.

It's a Chinese place.

Okay, Golden Dragon, do you want this a carry-out or a delivery?

Carry-out.

All right, and you want house-fried rice?

House-fried rice.

Okay, fucking...

Anything else?

Yes, chicken.

Chicken fried rice, too?

Chicken a la King.

We don't have that.

What kind of chicken do you have?

We have almond chicken.

What you do is you take the chicken and you put it in the pan with some oils

and you put some nuts on it, like almonds or peanuts.

We have almond chicken that has water chestnuts, peas, carrots, and mushrooms.

Quiet!

Chestnuts aren't nuts.

Okay.

They're legumes.

Do you want to pick up a meal here?

A food.

Okay, so you want to order a hot fried rice.

And then you take the chicken and you put it in the pan with the oils.

Okay, are you being serious or you're joking here?

I'm describing what I need.

Okay, we don't have that.

You don't have chicken.

We have almond chicken.

You put the chicken with the almond.

Yes, with water chestnuts, peas, and carrots in there.

And you put that in the pan, right?

And the rest is on top of the meat.

Okay, and where does the meat go, in the pan?

If everything is stir-fried, that means it will be in a pan, or a wok.

Okay, so a wok pan.

All right.

You put it in the pan with the oils, right?

Yes, everything is cooking oil.

You turn on the burner, and you turn on the oil.

Excuse me, do you want to order a meal?

Because we know how to cook, but do you want our meal?

Yeah.

And our meal is what's in it.

It's almond chicken, dark meat chicken, and water chestnut, peas, and carrots, and mushrooms.

Dark meat is the thighs.

It's the drumsticks.

You know, the legs.

You know what?

Maybe it's a good idea you call somewhere else.

Is there a man I can talk to?

This is the manager.

Huh?

Okay, put her on.

I am the manager.

Is there a man?

A male?

No.

Is that the problem here?

No.

The problem is that you are not wearing right, or you don't know what you're ordering,

or you'll not understand what I'm telling you.

Oh, I'm fucking retarded.

Okay, goodbye.

Bye.

All right, whatever.

She actually sounded pretty hot.

She sounded a little Americanized, right?

Yeah, I bet she was hot.

Go for it, Artie.

Go bang her.

Go find her.

You call her, Artie, and tell her how to cook.

You're going to steal his numbers anyway.

You go and set up a date on your own.

Yeah, why don't you go and go out with her?

And get a pearl necklace.

Let's do that one again, huh?

Hello?

Golden Dragon Restaurant?

Hey, how you doing, sweetie?

Can I help you?

Yeah, well, let's say if I was in there about two and a half hours ago,

and I saw you and I thought you would look really pretty with some diamond stud earrings,

and I went out and bought you a pair.

What would you accept?

Hello, baby?

Nope.

I guess not.

Guess not, guess not.

Shut down.

I did fail to mention, Artie, you're from the Florida, Orlando area.

You remember Casey Anthony, that whole big mess?

Yeah.

I became a terror on the Orlando Sentinel website.

They had a chat room every day during the trial.

You and chat rooms.

Did I ever tell you?

I know I told Tuck.

I used to tell, remember Tuck, I'd tell you every day what I did in the chat room?

Yeah, you would get with me every now and then.

You were telling me you were terrorizing these chat rooms, like the Casey Anthony chat room, the Twit Network chat room.

The Twit Network chat room.

but the one network twit this week in tech it's a podcast network anyway legal report thing

neil report yeah but um uh the casey anthony one basically to register for the chat room you could

use your twitter account or your facebook account so i wouldn't take out twitter accounts and one

of them was negro judge perry and the avatar was a picture of judge perry all like you know like

Like, hello there, because he's black.

So I waited for one.

I used to go in as, you know, different.

I went in as chocha smell, which means pussy smell in Spanish.

And I'd start shit.

And anyway, so my best moment was Negro Judge Perry.

They took a recess, and the Sentinel moderator would be inside the courtroom on a laptop controlling it.

And she's like, I'm going to go smoke a cigarette and get some coffee.

I'll be back in 20 minutes.

Behave.

So I went real quick to Twitter

And I created Negro Judge Perry

And I went in and I made them like

Hello there this is George L. Perry

And everyone was like you're a racist

And I was like yeah now

And I was like

Today we're going to have fried chicken

And watermelons and all these people like

Which is strange

And ironic since the whole chat room

Is full of hateful bitches

Yeah well basically

Yeah

Hate hate hate

It was just, I couldn't watch it, really.

Artie, shut up.

It's just all these people just accusing just all this hate on her.

Yay or nay, if it did or not, it should be broadcasted when you decide she's guilty and screams guilty at the TV camera.

Exactly.

Well, dude, you know what happened?

I really pissed off because I made a user called Baez's Boss.

Baez was her attorney, Jose Baez, and my username was Baez's Boss.

and people hated me for that but i was always in i was like you know she's going to be not guilty

they're like what are you talking i was the only person that said that but you don't know what

you're talking about i'm like i'm telling you the state has not doesn't have enough evidence

it's all circumstantial they're like oh crap bullshit you know what you're talking about sure

enough that's exactly what happened oh yeah i knew that shit going in exactly what happened

oh my god but uh they got her now she's she's got us her probation orlando she had to come back

but uh

Arnie

mute yourself

I had to stick her

with something

because they were

all gonna get

uh

I'm gonna kill her

I'm gonna riot

my mom was

in Orlando

and she's like

you would've thought

it was the OJ

trial all over again

in Orlando

it's just like

everyone's fucking

crazy

you would've thought

it was the

Rodney King

verdict for god's sake

she was like

oh my god

thank you

do something

Arnie

damn man

shit

okay okay

Arnie

try edibles

Yeah, exactly

I haven't smoked in like over a half hour

Oh, never mind

Never mind

You have an excuse

That's right

You can continue

Yeah, vape

I never did that, but I heard good things about vaping

Yeah, it's a good thing

It sounds like raping

Yeah, you rape your weeds

You love it then

Don't suck your conception, Artie

Okay, so Nunu is fucking

shitting on me for some reason again, like

old times. Call the blood of

Jesus lady, please.

Nunu isn't allowed here. What happened?

You tell him

it's traditional, he says.

The what? Who called?

Call who? Call the blood

of Jesus lady.

I don't have the number. Artie, for God's sake, put yourself

on mute until you're done fucking choking.

I don't know how. Hang up on him.

Hang on it. Then hang up and call back.

You said hang up on me.

I'm good now

I'm good

Anyway

You think it could be

The combination of alcohol

I don't know

I would have thought

That would help the coffee

I don't think

Alcohol makes you cough

I don't think alcohol

Has smoke in it

I could tell if you're wrong though

Alcohol has smoke in it

I could tell if you're wrong though

I'm not a scientist

I hate the fucking alcohol

Dude are you

What's up

Would you uh

Would you do a wine enema

Fuck no

I heard that shit's scary

But it gets you real messed up

But like

You could kill yourself

off doing it yeah because your liver gets rid of 95 percent of the alcohol out of your bloodstream

yeah you put it on your ass yeah all of it goes through wow so one beer up your ass is like 20

beers holy shit holy shit yeah i wouldn't do that that's too good i think you die we've been doing

it all wrong all the time all this time shit i am i inhale um marijuana smoke through my asshole

hole though of course yeah no i'm kidding about that uh sure now you're just back for that track

now i've inhaled it through my nose oh yeah cheap let's go chiefing that's a waste why is it a waste

you gotta get in your lungs yeah and your nose when you breathe in it goes in your lungs right

yeah it goes out not the same way all right quiet listen to your brain we're calling someone be

quiet we're calling the uk hello you know what time it is remember that part where i said be

you quiet sorry and it didn't connect for some reason holy shit okay still getting used to doing

shows again i can barely see so it's really complicated let me try again down the international

make sure you send this to whole like international

talking to the audience hey can i call you back in like 20 yes please all right see you thank god

don't don't answer you know i'm just i'm just i'm just remembering now i always thought it

It was a great idea.

Hey, Artie, come over to the house.

We'll do a show.

Go ahead and bring yourself some Dr. Peppers.

Forget it.

So you have short-term burnout memory, too.

Oh, my God.

Forgot.

Crazy.

He's got the ADD problem, man.

And when you hear him, he's like, oh, no, no, no, no.

Shut up, tardy penguin.

Shut up.

So I'm trying to set this number up that Nunu sent, but I can't get it to go through him.

So I'm working on it.

What is it like?

Oh, the International British 4404.

well it's telling me it's invalid but i should still be able to dial international

i i have money okay i haven't knew no sentence of you again properly yeah he did all right i'm

trying to just take i got to look right at the fucking screen and copy it and i got to find the

mouse pointer it's it's very sad take your time we're not gonna rush you thanks man you're all

right you're doing a great job carving thanks dad yeah invalid phone number good work uh nunu

shove it up your ass how about that how about i hate you you like that you like them apples

All right, we've got different numbers in the U.K.

We've got an L. Robinson.

Let's try that.

Anyway, what I was trying to get at before we got interrupted by Evil Artie,

the Casey Anthony chat, Negro Judge Perry.

So I went in there, and for 20 minutes I had control of the chat room.

I kept making, you know, comments like, you know,

we're just going to have fried chicken and watermelons,

and people are like, get out of here.

You're racist.

You're making racist comments.

And I tell the ladies, I was going to kiss you in a private pot,

and you were like me.

So anyway, 20 minutes go by.

the moderator comes back and they're all like

ban Negro Judge Perry

and the moderator is like

don't use those words and

bans them for saying Negro

I'm like ah ha

and they're like no no you don't understand

there's someone called Negro Judge Perry

ban

I mean inward

well then they started doing that so they finally

banned me but for the next 30

minutes people kept saying ban Negro

Judge Perry ban Negro did you ban Negro

Judge Perry

yeah so and my my final piece in this whole chat thing the way their chat room works when you're

in their chat room they were shut they shut it off at a certain time you know when they're done

and though there used to be like up to 17 000 people all over the country in this chat room

at one time it was scrolling up really fast sometimes on busy days but when they shut it

off it freezes and like the very last comments are there right it's your yeah bad yeah names

names yeah so the the very last day of the sentencing the very last day they have a chat

i'm in there and i'm just waiting like motherfucker you know is somewhere is like put away yes and

analog for uh you know a part of history i'm like motherfucker i'm gonna get this i'm gonna get this

one and sure enough she's like all right we're shutting down the chat thanks everyone for

participating during the trial and i send the very last one i farts in my hand and i smells it by

You go, Judge Perry, send.

And it comes up, and right after, it's like, chat has been closed.

I'm like, yes, I win.

The very last fucking hurrah, and I got it.

And I just know so many people are like, that motherfucker.

You went down in history.

Because that's the only thing people are going to see is maybe my first line or last line.

And also, I noticed there's a hashtag out there on Twitter called Racist America,

america where people like if you find some racist in today's america you you know i just saw you

know i reported yeah i reported and you put this this this weird thing called racism america must

be stopped yeah well um the the day that uh casey anthony verdict was written i was in there as

negro judge perry and i got one comment out and i got banned immediately they're already on to me

you know but every day i would go in and like he's back and they banned me but um sure enough

I decided to google

Negro Judge Perry

And sure enough I saw someone posted

I was in the Orlando Sentinel chat room

And someone had a beautiful name

Negro Judge Perry

Hashtag racist America

Someone I saw and was like

I can't believe how racist America is

I don't know

Why

We're not laughing

you know,

you guys gotta understand,

just our audience realized,

America is based on racism.

We're satirizing

it we're not you know over here going hey racism is cool we're going racism exists that's true and

we should we should all do our part and you and you guys you know pretending like it doesn't exist

and get outraged when it happens to you it's just you're fooling yourself is that what they taught

you there in tennessee that's what they told me yep you're fooling yourself yourself children if

you think racism doesn't exist you're fooling yourself so just do it that's right so are you

Are you colored? Sit down.

Go and drink your own water fountains.

Did you have the black history education like I got in Florida

where basically it was like, you know, back in 18-whatever,

Abraham Lincoln fleered to slaves.

100 years later, Martin Luther King came around.

It's like nothing happened in between.

No, what happened in between was, like we were saying earlier in the show,

George Washington Carver came along and invented the peanuts.

That's right. And some guy invented

the streetlight. And that's it.

Did you know a black man invented the streetlight?

Really? That's, you know, the whole thing.

Okay, maybe.

Maybe black men actually

installed the streetlight

because white guys don't do that.

Yeah, like a hundred years after slaves got freed,

all of a sudden, then they couldn't

share water fountains and

sit in front of the bus.

And then Martin Luther came, Martin Luther King

king came yeah and it changed all that he had a dream and now voila and it came true and there

were some fights and water hoses right and he had a dream yeah yeah the dream there's no mention

no mention of uh and then he climbed the mountain yeah he climbed the mountain to the top let me

even tell you about that this he climbed the mountain to the top it was all part of it

I grew up near Memphis, so the mountain to the top was always a big Martin Luther King thing because it happened here.

Well, that was his last speech the day before he died.

Yes, exactly, yeah.

And he died.

He went to the mountain, and he got to the top of it, and he died.

He didn't get to the promised land.

He got to the top of the mountain, and he looked over, and he saw the promised land.

Yeah, he saw it.

Yeah.

He totally saw it.

He said he may not get there with you.

No, he didn't get there.

But he wants you to know tonight that you as a people will get to the promised land.

And then, you know, our kids will learn after that, then Barack Obama came.

Then Barack Obama.

Yeah.

Right, yes.

Maybe we'll teach him about Jesse Jackson.

Jesse Jackson wanted to be president.

No, in the meter in between Martin Luther King and Obama will be the Cosby Show.

The Cosby Show, there you go.

And Michael Jordan?

What's the Cosby Show?

Michael Jordan.

I'm sure Michael Jordan was on the Cosby Show.

I don't know.

No, I don't think so.

Everyone else was.

Yeah, everyone was.

Those kids had so many grandfathers.

They made a joke of that on The Simpsons.

Like, every episode, it's like, Grandpa's here.

It's like another celebrity.

It's like a different celebrity each time.

Grandpa plays the sax.

It's like Louis Armstrong.

Louis Armstrong.

It's your long-lost grandpa.

Hello.

Hello, my child.

How are you?

Yes, hello.

Hi.

Good.

We have a complaint about your, in front of your home, you have some glass there.

Who is this calling?

This is Father Recorders.

Maybe I've got the wrong name

No, no, no, listen

You have some glass in front of the home

And I was on my horse

He was on your horse?

Yeah, and the horse got glass in its foot

In its hoof

So what does that have to do with me now?

Well, can you rub some Jamaican spices

On my horse's foot?

You know what?

You get the hell out of my phone

And don't call back here again

You go to hell

I damn you to hell

You go to hell

go to hell

she was talking to you

oh my god

she made me start like

I was standing

and I started like

I just slowly

walked backward

and we just started like

the person you called

is on the phone

please leave a message

after the

well another news event

we missed while we were out

the riots in Britain

which no one seems

to care about now

everyone just cares about

the hurricane

but um

the hurricane

Britain was going on

like the

you know

earlier

yeah

the hurricane came in

forget Britain

Well, no, it was that and Libya was revolutionizing.

Yeah, they haven't caught them yet.

No, because they stopped reporting on CNN.

I was really into that.

I love war coverage, man.

Yeah.

I used to love when Saddam Hussein was in power because every two years,

whoever was president would get mad at Saddam Hussein,

and for about a week during Ramadan, they would rain cruise missiles on Iraq.

And CNN 20 hours a day would have them just showing a picture of darkness,

and you see these streaks and you hear bombs

falling. Yes. And it was cool.

It was talk about the cruise missiles and the

cruise missiles are done for the day. And it'd be

me and Andy, we'd be smoking weed watching.

It was the best two weeks out of every other

year. Yeah. Yeah.

And they had to go ruin a good thing.

Damn it. Well, I'm

sorry that they spoiled your fun.

It was fun. You'd get Dan Rather would be on there

all like, oh, yeah, so we got a whole

Kentucky-Texas race here.

They were all

Oh, God, Dan Rather.

I miss Dan Rather, man.

We could have used him during the Libyan thing.

They fucked up all the good guys, man.

They're all good guys in the news, and the Bush administration got in,

and they decided they didn't like anyone, so they cut him off.

Dan Rather made a mistake.

Dan Rather, he went for the story about Bush and the Air National Guard or whatever.

They made sure he was gone, didn't they?

Yeah, I guess.

They got him.

Brooke was gone, and they totally made sure that weird Canadian from ABC was gone.

That's smart.

Well, he's dead, dude.

Peter Jennings is dead.

They got rid of him, huh?

Peter Jennings died of smoke cancer.

Exactly.

Die.

Exactly.

Dead.

They cut him off.

Conspiracy, bitches.

Lou Russert, dead.

Yeah.

Russert.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Lou?

What was his first name?

Russert.

You know, Russert.

You mean the press guy?

Yeah, him.

He's dead.

Yeah, he's dead.

Was his first name Lou?

I forgot his first name.

I don't know.

Yeah, now it's all sacky guys now.

Yeah, yeah.

They put him that broad at CBS and she sucked.

What's her face?

She's gone now, isn't she?

Is she already gone?

Yeah, he's gone.

Yeah.

They got Diane Sawyer, they be seeing her.

I don't like her.

She doesn't.

I watch Brian Williams is cool.

He's all right.

He's no Tom Brokaw, but.

He's close.

He's close to the Tom Brokaw that he got, though.

Well, the new guy on CBS.

Yes, he used to be on 60 Minutes.

I like him.

He's cool.

I haven't given him a chance yet as an anchor, but he's really good on 60 Minutes.

Well, I haven't even seen him.

I don't even know who he does see me as.

What is his name?

Feeney?

Sweeney?

Not Sweeney.

I don't know.

Amy Sweeney.

I don't know.

No, it's a guy.

He's Pelly.

George Pelly, I think his name is.

Yeah, and then you've got Wolf Blitzer.

He's horrible.

How did I get The Economist to start telling us the news?

That was just weird altogether.

Well, here's something.

He makes no sense.

I don't mind Wolf Blitzer anymore

All I do is watch CNN all day

I'm stuck at home

I can't work

I'm recuperating

I like Anderson Cooper though

He's cool

He's gay

Nothing wrong with that

But I was totally blown away

He's been in a relationship for 20 years

Did he actually admit it was?

Yeah

Kathy Griffin

That does the New Year's Eve with him

Kathy Griffin thinks everyone is gay

She was on a Stern show

He's gay

yeah i had no idea and howard's like really he's like yeah he's had a boyfriend for like 20 years

or something like that very committed yeah he's a cool guy but anyway um what gets me about cnn

they've got i don't know if you've seen they've got the econ the economy guy who's british

who talks just like john cleese and has those big chopper teeth you know i'm talking about i don't

know if you've seen him but he irks me he's like

Like, hello, yes, if you're an economist, like, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Suddenly I just see John Cleese on CNN doing a big piece going nuts.

He's just like that.

I don't know why you have a British guy in charge of the American economy side of things.

Like, what does he know?

You know what?

I have, you know, CNN will be on, and I will hear, like, here's the economy,

and then you hear a British guy's voice.

It's probably who you're talking about.

That's the dude.

Look at him next time.

He looks, he's so stern.

He's got the big teeth.

It's just got the big John Cleese teeth on it.

It's like, great.

Yeah.

Clinton's telling us how our money is.

There you go.

Thanks.

Oh, fuckerly.

If we get to have some British guy telling us.

Okay.

All right, good.

Enough.

I'm going to play a song here so I can get a prank call.

Give me a second.

Okay, I'm going to go drink.

Shut up.

Hello.

Thanks for calling the Rite Aid Pharmacy.

Flu shots are available at this Rite Aid location.

If you're calling from a physician's office, please press 8 now or 4 to leave a voicemail message.

If you're calling to refill a prescription and know your prescription number, please hold while I transfer your call.

Right, pharmacy, this is Phillip Mills.

Yeah, your bathroom there, does it have stalls or is it one person at a time?

Are you talking about the male bathroom?

Yes, that one, I'm a male.

There is one urinal and there's one toilet that's a stall.

Okay. Is the sink in the handicapped stall, or is it by itself, between the urinal and the toilet?

The sink is by the wall, and the urinal is between the sink and the toilet stall.

Okay, so when I open the door, to my left is the sink?

When you open the door, to your left will be the sink, yes.

And then after that on the left is the urinal?

Then, yes, then to the right of the sink is the urinal.

Okay, and then the toilet, the stall, where is it at?

It's pretty much straight ahead when you go through the door.

Okay, and it has its own door?

It has its own door.

Does it have the slide hatch, or do you hook it down?

You hook it.

Like the hook kind?

You don't hook it.

You turn the knob.

It turns.

It turns?

Not a knob, but it turns.

Okay.

Now, is there a wastebasket by the door so when I dry my hands,

I can use the paper to open the door handle and then put in the basket on my way out?

No, the wastebasket is between this urinal and the sink.

between the sink and there's a paper uh dispenser on the wall to the left of the sink

that you have to you know push down you have to it's not a automated you have to touch it

uh you have to yeah you have to crank it down okay pump it down all right so then i would use

like the paper towel to open the door knob to leave is it a turning knob to open the bathroom

or is it a pull kind of thing?

Like a lever, you know, it pushes down and up.

Okay.

Horizontal grip.

Yeah, all right.

So then I would, but I'd use the paper towel,

and with your permission,

can I just leave the paper towel on the floor then

since you don't have a voice basket there?

Sure.

Okay.

All right, that's not a violation.

Well, no, people leave towels on the floors, you know.

Okay.

I'm sorry, I had a time.

Now, the urinal, does it have a urinal cake in it for freshness

or is it just water it doesn't have a cake in it no okay is it an automated flush for the urinal

or do you use your hand there's a typical flush so you have to use your hand for that yeah is it

low enough that i could use my foot maybe to put it up to flush it well you're gonna have to stand

up to use it yeah but when i'm done uh urinating can i use my foot to not touch the handle to flush

it or would i have to use like my hand well you know i would imagine that you could lift your

leg up and flush it with your foot it's not too far far up it's low enough so i don't think so but

you know i'm you know i i don't uh i've never measured it never tried it okay um the sinks do

you have to touch the handles to turn it on or do you do you do this is an old-fashioned bathroom

is it hot and cold or just one to mix it with hot and cold hot and the hot's on the left side or the

the right side left side left side i'm writing this down left side does it say h for hot or is

it red or just do you figure it's anything you just figure it out right okay and the soap that's

in there is it a powder or a gel there's a gel there's a dispenser on the wall to the right of

the sink and a little above it and you have to touch it to get it out yes okay with that being

Being said, your bathroom grade is 72%.

You have a C.

Thank you.

You have some room for improvement.

Thank you.

Anything else I can do for you?

Yes.

I want to let you know this is a medical facility that you have here.

You do provide medical services and pharmaceuticals there.

Were you aware that the caca virus gets on the handle?

It's the most common way to get the common cold.

I'm aware that viruses and bacteria get on handles, yes.

Yeah, and right now, if we were to go there and do a swab test of the handles and the doors,

there probably is some cock-a-doodle, you know, viruses on the handles there.

And that translates to you.

Do you use the bathroom there?

I do.

Do you wash your hands?

I wash my hands in the pharmacy.

Okay.

And other people who don't have access to the pharmacy, they're opening the door after they wash their hands?

That's true.

Okay, so is it safe to say that they have virus on their hands?

It's safe to say, yes.

Okay. Is that not a concern?

It's a concern. Who's speaking, please?

This is Valente.

Valente. Now, who are you calling for?

I'm calling because I wanted to bring my prescriptions.

I want to transfer my prescriptions here from Walgreens.

I just moved to the area.

But I'm concerned that you have viruses inside your store.

There are viruses, I'm sure, inside the store.

Okay. But you have a higher number than needed.

It's dangerous because you have feces all over the things.

Well, I don't think there's feces.

I'm sure that there's some bacteria, you know, that can happen, but listen, I have a lot of work to do.

Okay.

I'm really, really backed up here.

So, oh, if you're backed up, then what you need to do, I need you to go to the bathroom, you sit on the toilet, you pull your pants down, you sit on the toilet, you push the feces.

He's backed up.

He said it, not me.

I'm trying to help the guy out.

You know, what more you can do.

What more I can do.

You can hold it if you want.

Hello, dum-dum.

Hello.

You want to behave?

Yes.

sir. I feel a little more sober now.

Good. Now, don't talk. Don't

burp. Don't breathe into the phone.

If you're going to do drugs, keep

the phone away so we don't have to hear it in the middle

of a call. You never heard it in the middle

of a call. Yeah, we did. No, we never.

Yeah, I forgot about that.

Oh, no.

What is that?

That's you. That's a recording.

Tuck, play it back again.

Mark that. Anyway, hang on. We're calling

that variety back. Can I talk to them?

No. Well, let me do it. Then you call

You do the third one, because I'm on a roll here,

because he's taking a shit and he's not washing his hands or something.

Did you hear any of that?

You're not listening at all, right?

I haven't been on.

I don't know how to listen on my phone.

On the phone machine.

How about his phone?

I got an Evo.

I don't know how to use it.

Hey, Carlito.

I talked to him yesterday.

I talked to Grinch yesterday, yeah.

Really?

Guess what he sent me an IM.

What?

Hey, Carlito.

That's exactly what he sent me.

Has anyone talked to Prankmaster?

I don't know if you guys watched Jack Vale

that guy's channel

on YouTube

he does some really funny pranks

guys check him out

Jack Vale

and Uncle John

Uncle John TV on YouTube

and Jack Vale on YouTube

I was watching Jack Vale

me and Athena are fans of his

and we played on my Blu-ray player

it's a Sony internet enabled one

so you can watch YouTube on it

and i'm subscribed to the channels so you can watch whatever channels you're subscribed to you

can watch on your regular tv and we're watching jack vale and all of a sudden we're watching it

and prank master shows up he's like hi jack vale i'm a big fan i'm like ew that's prank master

and i think it's like ew i think it is like ew and i think you mean i think you mean major chaos

yeah well that's that's the thing is this the prank master yeah we check the the comments and

And the guy's like, I want to give a shout-out to Major Chaos,

who showed up at my filming and was on the Check Out Us channel.

And I'm like, yeah, God.

He looks grotesque and scary looking.

He's Joe Hollywood, Pringmaster style.

He turned a leaf.

He reinvented himself, man.

He's Mr. Cool Cat now.

He goes and gets invited to these behind-the-scenes things

or events and things.

It's weird.

He wants to meet Hannah Montana.

Montana.

He probably, at the rate he's going,

he probably will.

Or Justin Bieber.

No, he's not gay.

He's not a homosexual pedophile.

He's not one of those ones.

He's not one of those. He's not that bad.

He's not a Michael Jackson pedophile.

I don't know. He's Gary Glitter.

That's it.

Anyway, calling right at it again. See if we can get this pharmacist.

Did you catch his name, Doug?

What was his name? Doug?

No, I wasn't.

Tell him to teach you how to doggie.

If he's Doug, ask him to teach you how to doggie.

What the fuck is doggie?

I've heard that a few times.

I don't know.

Is it a dance?

Ask him.

All right, are you guys gas or something?

I didn't ask for anything.

Call her for my cock.

Call her from the toilet.

Pharmacy, can you hold, please?

Sure.

Thanks.

Hurry up.

He actually listened.

Promise me you'll hold, please.

Hold.

Apologize for that.

Apologize for what?

Everything.

You want me to apologize for my name?

That's for that, too.

I'm going to lose my religion.

You should have called her big girl.

This chick.

When she comes back.

If she does.

I noticed that the Orange City Walmart takes them like five minutes to answer.

It's Walmart.

What do you expect?

Well, no.

That's not how you do business.

We won't go to Walmart then.

Okay.

Good luck with that.

Pay out the ask for your prescriptions then.

I go to Walgreens.

Well, they all match.

What do you mean?

They all match Walmart's prices.

They have no choice.

Really?

Oh, duh.

It's a big thing.

Yeah, Walmart did that.

They were the first ones to start the $5 prescriptions.

$5?

They have a whole list of prescriptions that are like $5 or $10, generics.

Is Adderall on it?

I don't think so.

I might get back on my Adderall just to sell it.

Okay.

That's not a bad idea, is it?

Nope, not illegal at all.

No, go ahead.

How much can you get per pill?

I don't fucking know.

Yeah, we're being recorded, aren't we?

Yeah.

There are people listening to this.

I don't know.

I don't do drugs, Artie.

You do herbs.

Herbal remedies.

What the hell is that?

Nothing.

Nothing that should concern you.

Where the fuck does that lady go?

I don't think it's in your business either.

Call back.

What did you have to eat today, Artie?

Actually, I haven't eaten yet today.

We don't care anyway.

I had a bunch of gummies.

Artie's got a girl.

Artie's trying to impress somebody, so he's losing weight, he said.

Still that big black girl

For the

Yep

Oh fuck no

I got her number

You wanna call her?

Big titty Faye

No big titty Brenda

Big booty Brenda

We gotta call her too

The one lady

Was like

You know what

Why I stole

Me old bananas

The one lady

Was like

Kiss my pussy

Oh Debbie

Debbie Mansfield

Let's call her

Okay

Back to old haunts

That's what people want

Anyway

They just wanna

Stay alone

Stuff over there

They don't want

Anything new

I know right

They want you to call them

And they'll call back

For a whole year

Yeah

Yeah, you were calling Bruno too, right?

He was calling Bruno.

Because some jack-hole will get his number.

Thank you for calling the Rite Aid Pharmacy.

If you're calling from a physician's office,

please hold while I transfer your call.

Some asshole is in Pennsylvania.

Not me.

I've got a blister on my thumb.

I guess from lighting.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

Thank you for calling the Rite Aid Pharmacy.

Hi.

Two shots are available at this Rite Aid list.

If you're calling from a physician's office,

Please press 8 now or 4 to leave a voicemail message. Please hold while I transfer

It's not taking my button presses.

Oh, oops, I hung up.

Hello?

Oops, I seem to have hung up on everybody on accident.

Oh, no.

Now what will you do?

Now what will we do?

I don't think you can get Artie back now.

Oh, dear.

Artie doesn't seem to be able to connect now.

Oh, jeez.

Oh, bother.

Okay.

So Nunu sent in a number.

I'm sorry, I'm not constantly...

Nunu, don't get mad.

I know you're probably shitting a brick, but to see your message, I've got to squint and get really close, so it takes me a while.

My concentration is thin as it is anyway.

We've got about a half hour left to show here before I have to go eat dinner and prepare for the Sabbath.

Who?

Me.

Oh.

Who's Sabbath?

Black Sabbath?

No, the Sabbath.

It's Sunday.

I've got to go to Mass.

It's already 8 o'clock.

You haven't gone yet?

Midnight Mass.

Oh, I thought it was something like on Saturday night.

No, that's Vigil Mass.

What do you know?

You're Baptist anyway.

You don't know about Masses?

Yeah, you know what?

Guess what we do?

We go Sunday morning.

That's it.

Hey, go for it.

Four hours a day.

That's what we do at midnight.

We sleep.

I've learned in my experience with being sick that you see your physician, you get right through.

Hey, Phillip.

How you doing?

Okay.

Good.

So I wanted to make you know, if you're backed up, if you hold that for too long, you could become constipated.

It could make you get a bacteria.

I'm aware of all that kind of stuff.

I don't really want to continue with this conversation.

Okay, do you need a suppository?

No, I don't.

You said you're backed up.

I said you're backed up.

It took me 15 minutes to get that through.

I just wanted to...

To cut for the tape when you edited this all together.

Yeah, exactly.

We'll cut it already, the whole show, too.

Nothing happened.

I mean, when you, like, put it in something.

Hello?

Big guy.

Hey.

But I'm actually going to have to get in the shower in probably about 15 to 20 minutes.

Another shower?

No, I never got in the shower.

Oh.

I got distracted.

Okay.

All right.

No, but I got time.

All right.

Well.

I just got to go over to my parents.

All right.

Well, yeah, you got to do the fantasy football.

You got, like, 10 minutes left.

Yeah.

No, it's a 10, right?

It starts in 23 minutes.

It's 839.

I know.

I'm kidding.

I was trying to make you think it was at 9

That's your only hope of winning

Does this work? Hello?

Tuck? Artie?

Hey, big Tuck

Great, Artie's back

Artie who doesn't shut up

Tuck, have you ever actually tucked?

Depends on what you mean by tucking

Tucking can mean all kinds of things

Artie, I don't get it, man

When you do shows with other people

You used to do shows with Dino and stuff

You weren't half as annoying as you are when you do shows with me

What's the fucking deal, man?

I don't know.

It's just the spirit of the show.

It's the energy of the show.

It just brings this out of them.

It's the madhouse.

Yeah.

Damn it.

There you go.

Title means everything.

Plus, I've never been bombed on other shows.

What do you mean bombed?

Oh, are you fucked up?

Yeah.

Why not?

Because it's so high right now.

So why do you want to be fucked up on this show?

Yeah, why are you going to mess up our show?

Carlito got me in the weed.

I did not.

You ain't coming here.

I created a monster.

Hello?

carols in the background spaghetti opera

russian or something hello i want some spaghetti okay that was what's up you

that was new news number the girl named lindsey who was doing something having an abortion i guess

yes that's what it was no the lindsey was a looter during the recent riots over there and

Riots?

In the UK.

Yeah.

There was riots in the UK?

Yes, you wouldn't know.

You were busy smoking weed.

God damn.

Yo, that's fucked up.

Why'd they do that?

Why'd they do that, yo?

You know what I think we should do tonight?

What?

Bring back some classic characters.

Okay, like who?

Edward Garcia.

Eddie Garcia?

Yeah, Bo Steen.

Bo Steen.

Bo Steen is just Carlito, dude.

Yeah, that's all it is.

What's your name, Bo-Steen?

It's not Sweeney, it's Carlito.

How do you say, that's the best character ever?

Best character.

Joe America.

Joe America is the same thing.

Same thing.

It's just me.

Well, Joe America is...

Yo, it should be Carlito.

Hi, how are you, sweetie?

Hi, how are you?

This is Bo-Steen.

Bo-Steen.

Good?

No, who is this?

Bo-Steen.

Hello?

Yes, hi, this is Bo-Steen.

And why is your television on so high?

What television?

Oh, I know.

You turned it off now because I called you so you could hear me because it was so high.

It was so loud.

I don't want your television on anymore, you understand?

I'm pulling your TV license.

Shut up.

That's so 70s.

Artie, say something.

Come on, man.

Hey, baby.

Don't you remember me?

I gave you your first cherry poppin'.

Is she there?

Yeah, keep talking, Artie.

She's there.

Hey, woman.

Keep talking, Artie.

Hey, woman.

Yes?

Hello?

Yeah.

All right, quiet.

Calling a Citgo, where they don't wash their hands.

The same one?

Yes.

Yes, hi, Citgo.

This is not Citgo, sir.

This is used to Citgo right now.

It's start.

It's start?

Yeah.

Okay, that's good.

Cigarettes there or no?

Lottery?

Yeah, cigarettes, lottery, everything, my friend.

Okay, listen.

Okay.

I'm going to take, do you have coffee?

No coffee.

We don't sell coffee, sir.

Do you have drinks there, like two liters?

Yeah, yeah.

What if I take a two liter and throw it at your head?

Two liters, $1.99, buddy.

And I'm going to throw it at your head.

Do I have to pay for it first?

Okay, so I'm going to give you $1.99, and you give me a two liter, right?

You understand?

Fucking shit, bitch.

Son of a bitch.

Throw it at your head.

Shut up, Artie.

He's there.

God damn it.

Why don't you ever shut up, Artie?

I didn't know you were so odd.

Now it's busy.

Thanks.

I am busy.

Someone, I sent you a message.

Someone from my Facebook.

but I want you to call some taxi company.

Okay, we're just sending it to Google.

Am I Google?

I sent it to IRC.

I want to call a head shop.

All right, go ahead.

We'll be right here.

I sent a private message in IRC.

We'll be right here, Artie.

Go ahead.

Let's call a head shop.

Okay, here we go.

Hang on, everybody.

We're going to call a head shop for Artie.

Don't say weed, say tobacco.

I'm trying to pop a blister with a fork.

Shut up.

Great.

Awesome.

No.

Who was that?

Sitco gas station again.

again fuck him you want to call him spoof you got a spoof card you want to dial him go ahead

i don't know the number wait you got you take all our numbers anyway go ahead i don't know the

number well you said look angel i found charlie patton spoof card hand there you are all right

call some more lonesome loser numbers we'll do that yeah let's call his numbers we got like 15

minutes let's try to knock three or four calls i will in the show this will be herman robinson

Listen, if I fucking do it with Artie and he'll never have him on the show again,

I swear to God, I'll never have him again.

Never, ever, ever.

Welcome to voicemail.

The person you have called is unavailable.

Please leave a message after the tone.

Thank you.

Thank you for nothing.

Talk to you later.

Can you hear me still?

Hey.

You know who's going to be the most requested guest to return?

You know you're going to get all kinds of e-mails every day.

Will you bring Artie back?

Fucking why?

You know this is going to happen, right?

Why?

John, no, I don't want that.

This is what they want, man.

You know this, too.

This is what they want.

But just listen to him.

He sits there.

He makes noises with his mouth the whole time.

He's like, of course he annoys you, but everyone loves that he annoys you.

That's entertaining.

He's cool to hang out with.

He's cool to talk with.

And, you know, to be honest with you, I can't talk more than five minutes with him sometimes on the phone.

I mean, I love the kid.

He's like a brother to me

But Jesus Christ

Next week

I don't get it

Is Artie going to come back?

He'll be on other shows

And he's fine

I love it when Carlito

Gets pissed off and angry

And bans him from the show

That's my favorite part

Please bring Evil Artie back

I don't need that

I lost five years of my life

It's alright

Alright, it's okay. They're there.

I was ready to plan on dying in my 40s.

Rub your back.

I've got like 10 years left.

Think of bunnies.

I've got to go 9 o'clock sharp. I've got antibiotics to take at 9.

Hi, you've reached Julian Howard. Please leave your name.

You've reached Julian Howard.

We will call you back.

Shut up.

You've reached Julian Howard.

Yes.

If you find me, call me back.

Leave my name, guys.

I can't stand answer machine and voicemail

machine messages

are you confirming this calls?

no probably not

no he did

if you call my cell phone

it's me saying leave a message

that's it

that's all you need

leave a message

don't tell them how you've reached

if they want to know who they've reached

you look at your phone and you say who did I call

I can't come to the phone right now

obviously right

why are you going to explain that part

sorry it's like the british people explained i'm gonna hang up now you know it's like it's

there's no need to tell someone in your voice they're being polite they they're they're old

school they're polite my voicemail message you call it's a message click that's it beep that's

it no that's after the beep after the beep of course who doesn't know after the beep

what do i do when the beep they could be like me and get uh uh country rednecks that did i

I messed up my number and got,

make a fire.

And then one time I actually got Becky.

Uh,

and,

uh,

I was answering a phone and was,

uh,

stupid.

It was too stupid not to figure it out and was getting madder and more upset

that,

I was answering her phone.

Who was this answering her phone?

So you got the Becky that people kept trying to call you for?

Yeah.

You know,

it's probably like a number off somewhere.

Like,

goodbye.

Hey,

your mama.

Well,

one time,

When I first left, when I first moved out of my first apartment that I lived in with Andy,

like a year later, I was drunk dialing and I called my old phone number that we had in the apartment

and some lady picked up like, hey, you ever get calls for Carlito?

She's like, yeah, all the time.

It's like two in the morning.

I was like, oh, yeah, that's me.

She's like, oh, hi.

I was like, so you have any messages?

She's like, very funny.

He said, well, can I give you my new phone number in case?

She's like, no.

She hung up.

actually in fact i actually uh based one of my classic uh uh calls uh on on the actual situation

that happened where a kid i just he must have been teen he must have been a teenager just upset

so so he just he was like redoubling i was like he and becky had a fight oh and he was just i mean

i was just sitting in quiet out of nowhere the phone rang and this just kid starts just pouring

his heart out like becky becky i'm sorry i fucked up becky and i actually did recreated this call

uh oh as a to him and her name was becky and uh and this poor kid and actually actually in the

in the original call uh the his mom was on was on the line or someone's mom was on the line

is it this josh becky is i i don't you know he he's sorry it's okay this is your mom or

it's all right he no but but i mean no it was just pure straight you know emotion coming out

motion comedy.

No,

it was

almost awkward

as shit.

I froze.

My voice froze.

I froze.

I'm like,

what is happening?

What is going on?

Who the fuck is Becky?

I was probably

at a time

a little stoned,

so, you know,

I was like,

what the hell?

And I couldn't get

that word in edgewise

for at least

20 or 30 minutes.

Shit.

Should have made

this spin on it.

Shit does something

good with that,

though, man.

I don't know

what's according

to that,

but the story

recreated it.

Okay,

you're calling

someone.

You should have said, come over with a knife and some rope.

I'm like, who is this?

And they click.

Welcome to the Sky voicemail of 0-2-0.

La, la, la, la, la.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, well.

Welcome to the Sky voicemail of 0-2-0.

I give up.

5-3-2-2-2-6-4.

The person you are calling...

I got enough twos in that number?

Jesus Christ, what is this fucking Monopoly on two?

Shit.

Tuck?

I lost Tuck.

And Tuck back here.

Sorry.

Hey, you going?

You leaving?

Yeah, I think it's time.

I think it's time.

Well, thank you, Tuck, for being on.

You're a nice guy.

Great, amazing show.

Thank you.

Hit it right out of the park after all this time.

I don't think so.

A lot of issues.

You still got a little Carlito stealing you.

They're pumping blood in your ears.

I'm getting there.

Not too familiar with it like I used to be, but it'll come with time.

Hopefully I'll do another show.

Maybe I'll try for Thursday.

We'll see if we can do Thursday again.

got no guarantees but we'll see okay i'm not in the hospital dying again we'll do it yeah

thanks doc thumbs up uh hi buddies.com yay all right cool see you man that was that i don't know

what else to do tuck's gone i should be playing some music here i didn't maybe i see milkman

is the one that's asking me about milkman milkman uh he drives the taxi now and i think his shift

started at nine or it starts at nine maybe he's up maybe we can try to call him shit i should have

kept Tuck on so they could talk to each other since they're such

good friends. He probably won't answer the

number. Please enjoy the following music

while your party is being reached.

Hey, Milkman, it's

Carlito. Just calling you.

Bye. Alright. Let me try to call him on his

cell phone. Let's see.

Milkman! Yeah, it was me.

Yeah, I was trying to. I figured you'd be up by now.

I didn't want to wake you up. Oh, okay.

I did an early... The new show is

when I start... I'm going to try Thursday. We'll do the

regular time, but I figured I'd try to catch you

before you went to work yeah i did you never i sent it to your email yeah the invite but the

league is closed now it's it's all the league got full today because you didn't i sent you an email

with the invite you didn't join up crap that's fine oh you did oh shit all right that's fine

i'll do another one and we'll do that one this week that's fine no problem no worries we'll do

yeah we'll we'll do another one and i'll get you in and that's fine hello hello where'd he go

Look at that.

Freaking guy.

Hang on.

Let's try him again.

Maybe he's upset.

He didn't get into fantasy football.

When I sent him the invite.

Hey, lost you.

Anyway.

You going to work?

No.

That's fine.

No problem.

We'll take care of it this week then.

I'll do a second one.

We'll do that one then.

Yeah, that's the one.

But now all the spots got taken up.

But I can do a separate one.

You know what?

I think I can increase this one before tonight.

But you'd have to join like tonight.

Or I could join it for you.

I can do it for you if you want.

Yeah, I'll do username, password, and I'll set you up.

Okay.

okay that works all right okay sounds good we'll do it all right we'll say hi to everybody i was

gonna shut off now but i figured i'd give you a call real quick so you could say hi to people

let them know you're still you're still alive i did i did a show was ending it now i kept it

going until nine so i could at least give you a call real quick before you left to work i thought

you started at nine yeah we called uh we called charlie you know the um the fuck you guy you

know what i mean the chinese guy honolulu yeah hey yeah yeah he got pretty pissed off you you

You missed it, but you're going to be around Thursday.

You're going to do a show while you're driving your taxi then, right?

Is that going to work out?

Okay.

All right, so you heard it here first.

Milkman will be back with us starting Thursday,

and he's going to be driving a taxi while he's doing the show.

It's going to be fun.

I'm excited about it.

Yeah.

It's like that HBO show, you know,

where they showed the video of the taxi cab confessional.

We'll do that.

Sweet.

All right, man.

Well, I'll let you get to work.

I've got to take my antibiotics.

That's what I have to leave right now at 9.

if i'm late then i gotta stay up extra time doing it thanks man i've had an unlucky year

what are you talking about it's been since april it's like a unlucky spring summer and going into

the fall now we'll see if i get back on my feet soon all right man we don't huh well if she's not

she's gonna hear the voice she'll hear the podcast i'm sure she's a big fan so yeah no miss maven

there you go i know we we have fun i missed everybody too we're back though no no worries

i can barely see but i'm doing it i'll hold it down all right love you too man don't work too

hard see you later careful bye see you yeah yeah he keeps he'll message me but it's like a two in

the morning and i never catch him i i wake up in the morning i'm like oh he messaged me but i didn't

catch him so i'll send him an email maybe just catch up with him sounds good all right all right

brother see you man take it easy later man that's milkman everybody good to hear from him some of

you were asking what's milkman up to now you know he drives a taxi cab in la and he's going

going to be joining us with this bluetooth headset well thanks there for listening it wasn't the best

of shows but it was good to be back i missed you all thanks for all the well wishes while i was

gone and like i said i plan to be back on thursday and hey i'm gonna go eat dinner do my iv antibiotics

and uh do my fantasy football draft yay good night everybody madhousehop.com you big motherfucker

oh almost failed to mention i want to say a big what's up to of course the cacti radio all the

the PLA people, uh, very nice people as always. Um, I was very touched a few weeks ago, two weeks

ago when, uh, Brad and, uh, some of the phone losers were on the air and called me, uh, to wish

me well on the air and stuff. It was pretty touching. Uh, I love cacti, I love PLA and I

forgot, I'm sorry. You know, you guys are, I'm on cacti right now. So everyone be sure to check

got all the shows on cacti um you know there's uh brad rbcp is on tuesdays and then uh roxy's on

sometimes on friday and there's that rob guy he's on saturday and there's the black kid

that's on all that right i got them all okay bye

Calls (22, 39 min of 1 h 54 min)

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