Faster Than AIDS

I'm not going to be part of a lawsuit.

I don't know who this is.

Ignorance is no excuse for evasion of the law, sir.

Listen, I...

I'm not evading the law.

If you get a cop here to tell me I'm evading the law,

I'll speak to an officer,

but I'm not speaking to some guy on the phone

demanding I give him my social security number.

Morgan told us to call in.

All right, hang on one sec here.

Thank you.

Morgan, I'll teach you.

Chinga, come out of the way.

Do you understand?

And what's that?

Chinga, come out of the way.

Do you understand?

Sir, this is a bad word.

What does it mean?

It's not a bad word.

I don't care what it means.

Don't tell that.

He's from the church.

I don't think he said a bad word.

Okay, I'm telling you, don't call.

I don't want to place your order.

Is your sister...

You heard that clearly?

Your sister?

Fuck you, bastard.

Who the fuck is this?

Finally got him.

Motherfucker, who is this?

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

You motherfucker.

Basky was dead, motherfucker.

Hey, everybody.

I didn't do mine in time

Get your pre-show stretches in

Thank you

Hello everybody Madhouse Radio

Returning live November 17th 2011

One week away from the Thanksgiving show

Can't wait

This is Madhouse Radio

Madhouse Live whatever you want to call it

I am Carlito your host for the night

We'll be doing prank calls

Taking requests doing all that fun stuff

With me on the line I presume is the man himself

The brother man from the other land

Milkman

How you doing Milkman

Milkman, I'm doing great, thank God I'm doing great, thank God.

Hey guys, the beautiful 311 ladies, Francisco, I hope you pulled the gear, good deal.

So they figure out you're not really a taxi driver, you're really a serial, no I'm kidding.

Anyway, Milkman, I have a super surprise for you, you don't know about this, I don't think

you know about our secret guest is on the line.

Oh wow, this is awesome, man, this is it, Mr. Insolvent, guys, we're going into overtime

last.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's been about, I'd say, about close to two years since we've had this gentleman on,

the legendary prank caller and good friend of Madhouse Radio,

Jin Stewart is on the line right now.

Hey!

Jin Stewart!

Hi, man! How you doing, man?

Oh, my God!

Brother from the other mother from the drop here laughing at my brother, huh?

Yeah, very good.

Yeah, thank you, thank you. It's good to hear you, too.

It's good to be back on the show, man.

And you know what's really good is that you have three men and I don't have any.

yes okay yeah send them over here yeah send them across the pod all right guys i'm so glad to hear

you thank you man it's very kind of you because it'll probably be another two years from here

from home again we have a milk milkman we hope jinn doesn't leave us for that long again he's

you're welcome here anytime jim what have you been up to you say you don't do prank calls that much

on your own time you do them with your little cousin or something sometimes i have fun yeah i

I have a friend, basically, I train, I'm an athlete, and I train in a certain sport.

And what I do is, yeah, I better not tell you what I do.

But anyway, I have a friend who sort of, he knows about Jim Stewart.

He's the only person in the world who actually knows me personally and knows about Jim Stewart.

And he loves the whole thing.

And basically, he keeps asking me, asking me, can we do prank calls, can we do prank calls?

But we never ever record them, you know?

So we end up making loads of prank calls and never record them.

they're lost

they're just lost

to the whispers

I miss it

wow

lost goal I know

yeah

that's crazy

uh

Jin I wanted to mention

someone out there

I forgot who

do you know who it is

that put all your stuff

on YouTube

tons and tons of pranks

on YouTube

his name is

2000jago

I think

or something like that

he's a big fan of yours

I guess

I don't know

if that was secretly you

or something

nice going

go ahead

hello Jin

well

this is well being

and happy contacting

lately

this is mp3

No, I think that guy

That guy must either be dead

Or he has got some sort of

Advanced technology installed on his phone

Because he knows when I'm calling

It doesn't matter if it's from a thousand

Different phones, he knows it's me

Every single time

Wow, that's a legendary stuff

Put it in the garbage, that guy

Who do you make garbage?

What did that come about?

Did he have an ad for an mp3 player

or did you just call him out of nowhere

for an mp3 player?

I just wanted to mess with him

and I called him up and his perfume shop

and he's like, oh, number one.

I just kept calling him back and back

and he just got so pissed off

and then I just had to come up with something.

So I thought maybe I would just tell him something.

I want to be a salesman.

That would just wind him up even more.

It just enraged him so much that he started

screaming and shouting and, oh, you're the mother of this

and all this is fucking brilliant.

He didn't like it.

All right, well, sorry, guy, you know.

I mean, MP3 players got to get sold.

Bands got to eat around here these days.

What can you do about it?

So, yeah, like I said, good to have Jen Stewart on here.

He doesn't have a website or really anything like that anymore,

but he's a good friend, and his stuff plays on Madhouse Radio.

If you listen to the prank cast and all that,

you'll hear his old pranks every once in a while.

When we do our show, we play them and stuff,

and that Jago2000, Jago guy.

I'm looking to make a comeback.

Good.

I'm going to try and slip back into the scene just a little bit.

Not too much.

But maybe I'll set up a website and we can go from there.

That sounds good.

Let me know if you do.

I'll be sure to plug it on here.

Thank you, Lord in heaven.

You see what Milkman has priorities.

Yeah.

Anyway, so, yeah, Jen, try to bring your microphone level down a little bit.

You're at an 11.

Maybe we should have you look at an 8, I'd say.

All right.

Give me a second.

All right.

Jen has been out.

He hasn't done a show or done anything in a long time, so it'll take some fine tuning.

All right, Milkman.

Milkman, you know how to mute yourself when you're talking to customers, right?

Remember?

All right, is that any better?

Cover the microphone.

Yes, that sounds better already.

Thank you, sir.

All right, well.

I haven't done this in such a long time.

You know, my settings are just all over the place.

Exactly, exactly.

Well, folks, we've got a lot to get to here.

We've got quite a few requests of pranks.

I'm excited about the show today.

Wanted to mention real quick in the news, I don't know what's been going on.

I'm upset because the NBA season, Jen,

You guys probably don't really care about the NBA there in England,

but the NBA season is just about good.

No, I care about football sports, but the British people, they don't give a fuck.

Okay, well, there you go.

They just eat fish and chips all day, you know?

Yeah, well, it's good stuff.

Fish and chips.

I've never had authentic fish and chips.

I heard you have to get it in a newspaper.

That's the way to do it.

Yeah, but it's fucking disgusting.

It's really horrible.

They fry it in all this oil, and it's like,

oh, yeah, fat people might like it, so I don't know.

Yeah, well, I might like it then.

Yeah, well, anyway, speaking of disgusting, the NBA, they have declined, the Players Union declined the agreement set forward by David Stern, the commissioner, and they voted to decline that.

Not only that, they went an extra step.

They took the nuclear option and decertified their Players Union.

They basically voted non-confidence in their own union, which makes no sense to me.

but that essentially would tie up

in theory ties up the whole issue

in the courts and you would expect

that means that the NBA season is dead

it's gone all because

they basically came down to the

players wanted to get 51%

of the basketball revenues

and give 49%

to the owners and the owners

wanted an even 50-50 split

and they couldn't come to an agreement

and now the season is over

I think what obsessed me the most

not necessarily the fact that it's

It's, you know, I can't watch basketball this season or watch the Orlando Magic,

whose hat I'm wearing right now, which I really shouldn't be wearing it.

But the shittiest thing is, especially in the city of Orlando,

there's quite a few people who depend on the NBA.

People that work in the arenas, concessions, security people, parking people,

businesses around the arenas and stuff like that

who are not making the money and the revenue that they normally would,

that they expect with an NBA season.

and nba season lasts several months you know several times a week there's a game so a lot of

people are affected especially in orlando they built this brand new arena and on the land where

the arena is at they're used it was a primarily african-american community a ghetto so to say but

it had businesses there and uh the the deal was these businesses were going to get uh set up right

next to the arena and they were basically given grants to change their business type to do

something that would match um something that they could sell to people who come to see the games for

example there's a business that was basically african-american books and literature they sold

magazines and books you know about black culture and stuff like that and uh they were on the land

that was used to build the arena so the city came to them and said all right well you know we'll

train you and we'll give you money so that you can change your business model from selling black

black books to a candy store.

So when, you know, fans come down to watch a basketball game,

they can buy candy on the way in.

And, you know, so these people, you know, they got a new location

and they completely changed their business model.

And they, you know, work different hours.

They work up until, you know, 10 o'clock at night and all this stuff.

And all these restaurants open in the area and et cetera, et cetera.

And all these people are basically going out of business now

because the players who are rich couldn't come to an agreement over 1%.

1%.

There you go.

Everybody's so greedy.

It is, yeah.

And especially in the economy like it is right now,

you think the players might be a little more understanding.

They charge you.

Jesus Christ.

I mean, it's like $100 per ticket if you want to get a decent ticket to this arena.

You know, beers come out.

You want two beers, there's like $20 right there after a tip.

You get a meal, peanuts are like $10 each.

Jeez, it's ridiculous.

my glasses off i got an injection today in my eye it didn't go that bad in your eye yes in my eye

i'm having eye surgery oh yeah everybody wanted to mention here eye surgery confirmed for me second

eye surgery i am completely blind in my right eye now it was the left eye now it's the right eye

uh the monday after thanksgiving so i shouldn't miss a show um but the um i did have uh i do have

a major injection right into the eyeball that's going to happen the day before thanksgiving do

Do you actually get to watch it go in?

Like, do they sedate you?

No, they're not going to.

For this one, for the injection, they don't sedate me.

I'm more scared of the injection before the surgery than the actual surgery itself.

As a surgery, I'm knocked out.

I'm on the gas.

But for this here, I can't really see out of the eye anyway, so I might not see it coming.

The doctor told me, you know, they keep it dark and I won't see it.

He comes from the side and he said, you know, it barely feels like a pinch.

He said it hurts more to get the laser treatment that I've had in that eye than it's, he said it takes a matter of seconds.

But just knowing that there's a needle going to my eye, I don't know how I'm going to do it.

Yeah, and I'd say I'd get drunk beforehand, but they said I can't drink because that would mess with my blood and make it thinner and I could bleed to death.

I don't know, I could bleed in my eyes or something.

So, yeah, I got that to look forward to and then eye surgery.

I shouldn't miss a show, but I'll probably be very red-eyed.

I'll have like one really red eye next week's show.

You sound like a pirate with a patch eye.

I shouldn't.

Well, they give me a patch after the actual surgery itself.

They will give me a plastic cup patch, but I only wear it overnight, the night of the surgery.

And in the morning, I'm supposed to take it off and start eye drops, antibiotic eye drops and numbing drops.

Now, I do want to mention one other thing.

Now, the last surgery, I was a little lucky.

I didn't end up having a retina detachment because I caught it fast enough.

But this time around, the doctor said there is a higher chance.

He actually said he's betting on the chance that during the surgery, my retina will detach itself from the back of my eye, which means that we'll have to inject a nitrogen gas bubble in my eye.

and I will have to spend a week lying facing down in a special chair contraption

so that the bubble keeps pushing up and keeping the retina from detaching itself after the surgery.

So if that's the case in there, we would miss a show because I very well can't do a show just looking down.

I don't know if maybe I could do something where Tuck or Milkman or RBCP could host a show

and I could call in, you know, during it or something.

I don't know.

I'd be pretty miserable if that were to happen.

I'd have to spend a whole week facing down,

but still hoping that doesn't happen, but we shall see.

Nunu says hello to Jen from him,

and make sure you call Blood of Jesus Lady.

He says to call the Blood of Jesus Lady before you go.

Well, we'll see if we'll get to that, Nunu.

Jen has no idea who the Blood of Jesus Lady is, but there it is.

All our fingers are crossed for the ear of my dad,

and it's back on that 50-year money.

Yeah.

Well, the prayers have helped me out so far.

I mean, I could have died already twice before.

So at least so far, so good.

We'll see.

Dude, you're like a cat with nine lives, but you've got twice that much.

You've got 18.

Ken mentioning Carlito, I'm used to lying face down ass up.

That's cool.

That's the way we like to fuck.

Two life through.

Bringing it back.

Awesome.

Good point.

Hey, before I move any further, we're going to do some pranks in a moment.

We've got some request of pranks here.

I wanted to mention, if you want to send your request of pranks, you can.

Again, madhouselive.com is the website.

Request a prank form is free and available and in use, I guess.

I don't know where I was going with that.

AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger users.

Madhouse Radio is my screen name, as always.

Once again, Madhouse Radio on AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger.

MSN users, madhouseatlive.com.

Be sure to follow us on Twitter, as well as on Facebook,

Madhouse Live on Twitter, and Madhouse Pranks.

Madhouse Prank Calls, rather, on Twitter is the fan page.

We've got Milkman and Jen Stewart on the line tonight.

Evil Artie might be joining us later in the show.

Evil Artie.

He's a new guy.

New guy, yeah.

Milkman's a big fan of his.

But who cares about him?

We've got Jen Stewart on the line.

He's not the British one you're talking about.

No, he's not British.

So that's UK Ted.

And he's in the chat room right now.

Okay.

He said something that nice about me.

What did UK Ted say?

He didn't say something that bad.

He said, it's a lame excuse for me not to do a show.

Good point.

Anyway, real quick, I wanted to mention, before we go further, I have come to a realization here.

I do want to get a bachelor's degree soon, preferably within the next year, year and a half.

My computer science degree, which I've been working on for about 10 years now.

Of course, I left Florida, so I was going to go to the University of Central Florida for it, but I moved up here to Pennsylvania, so that didn't go down.

And I was planning on going to Penn State up here once I got a job again

and all the health issues resolved themselves.

But then, of course, there's a big controversy up here with Penn State

and the whole child rape thing that's been going on.

You probably know what I'm talking about.

This football coach up here, American football coach, was raping kids for like 15, 20 years.

It's a real shame, you know, that they had to actually go into this bomb KDK.

a real shame that that had to happen i know so they finally they finally got that kdk but hey

what can you do he is didn't get cool what the hell he well apparently the the thing is the

university was hiding it it's a university football team and the the school itself was

hiding it and the i mean it's one of those things it's the kind of team that's in a town

where all they have is this football team and the whole state itself of pennsylvania worships

um this team in this school all right so it's it's like a special class and then they went

exactly exactly so anyway how old were these kids uh they arranged everywhere i think everywhere

from 10 to 16 i think there's like five six kids officially and it could be even more

that's fucking i'm telling you so um no herbal baking sin i'm gonna join penn state for the

lulz no after i saw that i was like i don't want to have you know on my resume i went to penn state

because in the back of everyone's heads, it's going to be like, oh, that's that one school.

So I started doing the research, and I said, I wanted to, growing up in Florida,

you've got the big thing is FSU versus UF, you know, Gator.

And I've always been on the Gator side.

FSU has always been like the redneck-y kind of school, you know, the redneck-y fans.

And then UF is more for the rich Gators, you know, rich kind of normal people, liberals and stuff like that.

I guess not liberals necessarily, but they don't offer a distance program, you know, where I could have gone to school.

They had one for the business department, but I don't want to do business.

I want to do computer science.

I did some research, and sure enough, Florida State Seminoles, they have a computer science degree

where I don't have to step foot on their campus at all.

I can do it all from home.

It's going to be so convenient.

So I looked into the matter, and I think tomorrow I already started the application.

Tomorrow I'm submitting my application.

And I'm going to be of FSU Seminoles.

I can't believe I never thought I'd say this.

My dad would probably be really upset, but it's on.

Go Seminoles!

Very excited about that.

That's the FSU war chant.

I don't know if you've ever seen this before, Jen Stewart,

but the Rednecks, they stand in the stands watching football,

and they do this tomahawk chop with their hand.

They go back and forth, and they do this.

There's sort of a wave over here.

Have you seen that?

Where groups of people sort of stand up simultaneously around.

Yeah, around the area.

Really?

Like a big wave, you know, just...

Mexican wave.

All right, that sounds kind of cool.

It's kind of racist.

Well, the Seminoles aren't racist.

Yeah, I'm not racist.

Anyway, so...

Yeah, I've got to have that conversation with my dad.

He's not going to be happy.

I never thought...

I don't know.

I always look down on FSU fans, but, you know,

I think I'll still be a University of Miami Hurricanes fan anyway.

But I'll get my degree from FSU.

I don't know.

How do you get a bachelor's degree without stepping foot on a campus?

How do I test?

how do i take tests i don't understand online i take the test open university right i heard about

that yeah open university material and core stuff away from the campus and then every now and then

you go there for tests or do your work and then you get a sort of tutor who checks it all and

at the end of it you get uh yeah you get your degree wow and it's a legit degree cool yeah

of course it's a legit degree over here it's called an open degree open degree okay all right

You guys are weird

You got your things

That you get into

But no I'm kidding

If it works it works

Hey alright

So

Uh

Jen do you still not drink

Nothing like that

No I still don't drink

I drink no smoke

Nothing

Good

Good for you Jen

You watch porn

And that's it

And that's good

Good for you

Porn's good

I watch porn

And I watch smudge porn

That's no

There's no such thing

Come on

There's no such thing

I saw this thing on MTV

The other day

A guy was addicted to porn

After having the

Badminton

Yeah yeah

I'm still watching that

Yeah, I'm still watching that.

You're going to have to make some notes, man.

All right.

Well, hey, guys, let's get into the pranks here.

It's time for that.

Enough talk about the news and such.

Carlito News, we got a request to prank here.

Came in from RBCP.

Jen, it's funny.

RBCP, he's the guy from Phone Losers.

Let me mention real quick.

I almost forgot.

We're on Cacti Radio.

CactiRadio.com, PhoneLosers.org, PLA Network.

And we also are on Ted Webb.

Good friend of yours.

Big friend of yours.

You guys were like boyfriend and girlfriend there.

You had a gay crush for each other.

Remember that in the days?

Back in the girl building?

Yeah.

Well, he's got his prank call network also, Blue Planet Pranks.

Where is he?

BluePlanetHosting.us.

Says in the United States.

Hey, I remember his website.

But where is he?

I mean, is he calling you?

Oh, I don't know.

I think he's playing hockey right now.

He's not around.

But he'll probably call in a little later on.

He's missing it.

He's going to be sad when he finds out you were on him.

He didn't know.

He's going to miss me, and then I'm going to miss him,

and then we're going to be like, you know.

I know.

Let me look just in case.

Yeah, I don't see that he's on Skype.

No, he isn't right now.

Ted, if you're out there, if you're listening, jump on Skype.

Join us if you can.

It might be busy, you know.

But anyway, so RBCP with the phone losers,

he put out a call a few weeks ago,

basically to all the listeners, his listeners.

He said, hey, start leaving notes on cars

saying that you dinged their car i'm sorry my name is roy i dinged your car in accident i'm

very sorry this is my phone number please call back we can handle it so it's been very funny

we did one prank call we're going to play that prank in the break it's called i kicked your

audi uh i don't know if you knew jen but an audi is the best car in the world it's uh better than

a mercedes and a bmw put together of course it comes from my country man i know about it

from germany yeah so uh we got a we got a number here someone called left a voicemail for brad uh

another car didn't call he called and left a voicemail for him three days ago about the note

left on his car he says that his car is a mustang that's awesome because i hate mustang owners no

offense if you're a mustang driver but some of the biggest jerks out there are mustang drivers

um this phone is registered to laurie maybe his wife or something okay all right so the phone

okay so he looked up the phone i see this is a cell phone all right so we don't have the

a voice metal play but we are going to go ahead and prank call this guy who thinks we dinged his

car drives a mustang last time i did this i said basically that i kicked the car on purpose out of

anger maybe i'll go that route because i can't think of anything else right now first call of

the night coming up come on give it a second try again not looking good call has been forwarded to

an automatic voice message system is not available nobody likes even their names or a message or

anything anymore

on those voicemails.

I don't get it.

Yeah, it's fucking

laziness, that's what it is.

It is laziness.

You know, I used to have

a really weak

answering machine

where I started talking

so I'd be like,

hello,

and I'd just start

to fuck with people

and people would not realize

that they weren't

actually talking to me

but they were talking

to the answering machine

until people actually came.

Yeah, that's another thing

people like doing a lot.

The ethnics,

the Puerto Ricans

and black people

like doing that.

I got tricked by

two of them in a row

like two weeks ago

on the show.

I got real upset.

I threw the mixing board

word across the room um new news sending in a number for someone who uh i guess cell number

for a chick or something um who was on twitter or the sister was on twitter all right we'll get to

that um because yeah if you want to join in i see some people asking is there a call-in number

there really isn't a call-in number anymore there's a skype in madhouse.radio on skype if

you want to join the show madhouse radio uh the toll free no i don't have that anymore

more unfortunately uh but we do have hang on here mikey129 is on the conference now mikey129 how

you doing what's up palito what's up jim hey what's up mikey mikey129 big fan of yours from

way back in the day well so we got uk ted hey guys he's the other british guy that was talking

there you go you guys are neighbors hi jim yeah yeah we live across the street awesome that's

great it's a very small island we all know each other yeah we all know each other and

They're each other's mothers, I'm sure.

Awesome.

Good deal.

All right.

Well, we're going to continue with pranks.

If you guys want to jump in at any time, just raise your hand, let me know.

In the meantime, I got another request to prank here.

This one came in from UK Ted, a hotel in London.

Do you have any background story about this, UK Ted, before I dial it in?

I do, but I'm not sure how much information I want to give out to you pranksters.

Okay.

All right.

Well, call and speak to Aziz.

Aziz.

That's an Iranian name.

You know, I know that.

Aziz, right.

He has a very short temper and no sense of humor.

Order him to come and clean my toilet.

If they won't transfer me to him, I could just call whoever answers the phone a banshoot.

All right.

Jin, you haven't been around for that.

Banshoot is a big thing that we do around here now.

Banshoot.

Yeah, sister fucker.

Sister fucker.

Yeah, we've had a lot of fun with that.

Thanks to you and Ted.

You guys broke the mold.

Should there be a zero before that number you sent in?

UK Ted, I'm guessing.

Well, it's a UK number, so I don't know what you have to do to it on Skype.

Let me see. I think I got it.

Let's try it this way.

Thank you for calling Jordan Croydon.

Your call may be recorded for training purposes.

Please press 1 for reservations.

Press 2 for group reservations of 15 or more rooms.

Press 3 for conference, events, Christmas parties, and bookings.

Press 4 for accounts.

Or press 5 for any other inquiries.

I wasn't paying attention. What did I hit?

5? I was reading something.

yes may i speak with aziz sorry is this aziz hello aziz aziz aziz aziz yes you know who's

calling yes this is cross yes all right hello

Yeah, this is Cross.

This is Aziz.

Aziz?

Yeah.

Yes, I need you to come and clean my toilet.

I just used it.

You know sometimes when you use the toilet, it scrapes on the side of the toilet.

I can't get it out.

I flushed it like ten times already.

From where?

You know when you use the toilet and sometimes the poop, it hits the side of the toilet when it goes down and leaves a big streak?

Aziz?

Yeah, I don't know, man.

You do know what I'm talking about, right?

You know when you use the toilet and it leaves shit on the toilet, on the bowl, inside?

Where are you talking from?

From the bathroom.

You are in the bathroom?

Yes, I'm in the bathroom.

I use the toilet and I've already flushed it like about three or four times.

And it stays on here.

There's something wrong with your toilet.

I used it.

I defecated.

I flushed it.

And the poop stayed on the side of the bowl.

In which room you are?

And I think it's number 12.

Number 12?

Uh-huh.

Well, listen.

You are talking from the hotel?

Yes, I am.

Listen.

I need you to...

This is disgusting.

You can talk with my manager.

Yeah, this is disgusting what's going on with this toilet here.

It's dirty.

Which room you are talking about?

I'm in the toilet right now in the bathroom.

You understand?

I sat down and I made a defecation.

I pooped in the toilet.

Which room you are...

112.

112?

Yeah.

We don't have any room number 112.

Is it 12 then?

Sorry?

Twelve.

Twelve?

Yeah.

Twelve room number we have.

Could you just tell me the full number?

I'm on the second floor.

The first floor.

On the east side.

First floor?

Yes.

I'm sorry, we don't have any accommodation on the first floor.

But the first floor is the top floor.

You understand?

Sorry?

The first floor is the top.

I'm from the United States.

The first floor means the top floor.

Who's from the top floor?

I'm on the top floor in the bathroom in the toilet.

Could you just tell me which room number you are into?

If you keep going, you get off, you know, where you go up the floor, the elevator,

I know the elevators.

Okay, so you...

Can you tell me which floor and which room number you're in?

I'm on the top floor.

I don't know what room number it is right now.

I have to go outside to look.

And I don't want to do that.

I don't have my pants on.

What's your name?

This is Cross.

I'll check for you.

The room is under Aziz.

The room is named under Aziz.

He's supposed to spend the night with me in the room here tonight when he gets out.

The room is under the name of Aziz.

Yeah, he's going to come in the room with me and sleep in the bed with me tonight.

You understand?

When did you check in?

Yesterday.

Listen, the problem is, when I use the toilet, there's still a black, a brown streak on the side of the bowl.

So, come over here. I want someone to come here and clean it. This is disgusting. I want the whole toilet replaced.

You know when you get off the elevator, you get off the elevator and you go right.

But by the first floor, the top floor is what I mean. I'm from America. The top floor, we call the first floor, the top floor is the first floor.

I'd have to go outside, but like I said, I don't have any pants on right now.

Let me check into the record, because if I don't know in which room you're into, how can I...

Well, can you meet me at the elevator?

I have elevator.

We'll come up to the elevator.

We have plenty rooms on the top floor.

Okay.

I need to know which room you're into, first of all.

When you get off the top floor, you know you get out of the elevator?

You know you get out of the elevator, there's that sign?

Yeah.

Okay, then you go right, and two doors on the right-hand side, that's where I am.

You need to tell me because I can't.

You need to tell me the room number.

Listen, I'm embarrassed.

I don't want to go outside because I don't have any pants on.

I don't have any pants on right now, any underwears.

Could you just give me your mobile number?

Let's see here.

Where is my mobile number?

I don't really have one.

I got Skype.

Sorry?

You want to call me on Skype?

I can't call you on Skype.

Oh, if you don't call me on Skype, then you have to call me.

It's an American mobile number, like American telephone.

You're calling from an American number?

It's an American telephone number, yeah.

Could you just tell me the room it's booked on the name of?

It's under Aziz.

He works there.

He works here?

Aziz works there.

He got the room.

Yeah.

He gave me the key and he said to go in the room and wait for him.

And he got out later and he come in the room with me.

We'd spend the night together.

We'd sleep in the bed.

Please let me check for him.

Ask him.

IG69, stand by.

I can't connect you yet.

Cancel this one.

Is it getting dirty?

Is it getting bad?

Hello?

Yes, sir.

Just one second.

facilities with key locations across the UK

and Ireland. Take back and relax

in comfortable, spacious bedrooms with a

range of amenities, including high-speed internet

access. Enjoy a meal in our

relaxing, infusion restaurant.

Come and have a drink in our welcoming intro bar.

Where'd Milkman go? We lost Milkman. Oh, shit.

Thank you for calling Jewelry's in

Croydon. Your call may be recorded

for training purposes. Please

press 1 for reservations.

Press 2 for group reservations

of 15 or more rooms.

Press 3 for conference, events,

Christmas parties and booking.

Why'd you hang up the phone on me, you stupid?

Mind your language, sir.

I'm sorry.

But why did you hang up the phone on me, you stupid?

Oh, I couldn't get any record, actually.

You need to tell me the room number.

Please enjoy the following music while your party is being reached.

Hang on.

You there?

Can you just put Aziz on the phone, please?

Can you put Aziz on the phone?

That's it.

Please, just Aziz.

Aziz.

Just one second.

Hurry up.

Hello?

Aziz?

Aziz.

What's your name?

Please just come to the bed with me.

I want you to sit down on the bed with me.

With me.

Just you and me in the bed alone.

Okay?

Hello?

Yeah, I just want you to sit down on the bed with me.

Me and you, Aziz.

Just me and you in the bed together.

In one bed.

What's your name?

This is Cross.

I'm handsome.

Cross.

I don't know you.

Well, I know, but you're handsome.

I like you.

You're dark.

Dark skin.

I like that.

Friendly hung up.

Sorry, Ted.

I tried to do something with that.

He didn't seem very angry.

But I tried.

How can I help?

Yes, may I speak with that handsome guy, Slavomir?

Yes.

Are you there? Is this him?

Listen, you're a handsome Russian little tiger.

Wow, we need to call Milkman back.

What's Slavomir's issue? Does he get anger or anything?

Hello, sorry.

Please enjoy the fun.

Dad, you?

Yeah?

Slavomir, does he get angry?

Did you get my addendum to the request?

No. What was it?

I sent in another request to prank after that one with an idea for Slavo's brother.

Oh, okay. We'll do it later.

Milkman, are you on?

Milkman's calling me from his Google line. What the heck?

Anyway, Jin, any suggestions on what I can or can't do?

Anything that we use?

Yeah, you know, you should ring a hotel, right?

Because I've only got like five or ten minutes left.

So if you want me to do a call, call up some sort of hotel here in the UK

and I'll try to do something.

Okay.

Just don't do any more that I work at because I'd get in trouble.

Okay.

No, no, don't worry about that.

No, no, we won't do that.

Yeah, UK Ted works at a hotel, so we've got to be careful.

We can try to call Slavomir again at the other.

That's at the same hotel you work at then, right?

No, not Slava.

Okay, all right.

We'll do that then.

Slavomir is the guy, but it's just a hotel.

Just treat it like a hotel.

Jen Stewart here.

Yeah, hold on a second.

I'll just grab Slava's brother to come and listen.

Okay.

All right.

Well, hurry up because Jen's running out of time.

Slava, yeah?

Slavomir.

But, you know, like I said, it's just going to be a hotel.

Anyway, so here Ted said while he's away getting his brother or whatever,

his brother will be listening tonight.

I had a good idea.

Apparently, the hotel he works in has a spa open in the day,

in the daytime, which does massages.

You can call the number I gave you and ask Slavomir to book a massage.

He will tell you that the spa doesn't open until the morning,

and we can offer him 200 pounds or so to try and see how much money

it will cost to get him to do a massage.

There you go.

There's an idea.

Something to go with.

Yeah, that's the one.

No, I've got something.

I want to try something else first, but you can call him back up.

You got it.

There's a bit of a lag on the line, so we don't know if this is going to work.

Let's try it.

I'll mute.

Okay.

You have to call him Slavo, not Slavo.

We're here, Malkman.

Oh, you're okay.

Not answering.

I got other ones here.

Don't worry, Jen.

Don't go nowhere.

I got you.

I got your back.

Yeah, I haven't got long, man.

All right.

I got him here.

I got the big list.

Let me play a song real quick while I get it.

Seriously, if you can get Slavo, it would be great.

He's not answering, man.

I'm going to have to try him later.

This is a hotel.

It's not in the UK, though.

This one's in Britain.

I don't know if that'll work.

Okay, let's try it.

Let me look one more spot here.

They have a hotel in the UK or London or a hotel in England over there.

I don't know.

How about Australia?

You got Australia or Kansas, United States?

You choose.

All right, Australia it is.

All right.

What do I have to do to get you guys to try Slavo one more time?

I will in a second.

Well, Jin's still here.

Let's try this one first.

Then we do that one if Jin has time.

Oh, yeah.

Ingrid Hotel.

Yes, hello.

Can I speak with some sort of higher level person or are you very high up?

There's no one here available, that person.

Perhaps excellent. Is it very busy there? I mean, are there many people around or is it very quiet?

Yeah, it's very busy at the moment.

Very busy, okay. When is it going to be very quiet?

And can I come in with some people and is it possible to sort of do a little something in the background there?

I'm sorry, what are you after?

Yeah, I'm after a little bit of solitude.

You understand, I want to be alone with some people.

Some what, sir?

I want to know from people.

I have a thing that I'd like to do, a little bit of business,

a little bit of trading business on the side there,

and I want to use your premises for that.

You'll probably call back about 4 o'clock.

No, no, no, no.

I need to do it immediately.

I need to come in and do my trading business.

Do you understand?

It's very, very important.

I need to make money.

People make money.

Money is time, and I must do it immediately.

Okay, what do you have to do?

I must trade.

I'm in the business of trading, I'd like to trade, yeah, yeah, trading, you know, white things and brown things and powder and these sort of things, yeah?

Okay, come in whenever you need to.

Yeah, but if you send everybody else away, I need to be secure.

The boss has just arrived.

The licensee of the hotel has just arrived, if you'd like to come in now, she'll be here.

here? No, no, no. It needed to be

empty. You understand? I need no

people there whatsoever.

No people whatsoever? Yeah, no

people whatsoever, yeah.

That's not possible. We're a hotel.

We have people that come in continually.

Yes, but surely you can send them away.

What if we gave you a hundred dollars?

We'd lose a hundred dollars. Yes, we

would. So if I gave you a hundred dollars

you would give all the people, yes?

There's no one here currently.

Hang on, I'll put the boss on. I'll go

grab the boss. Excellent.

Excellent.

Let me talk with the boss.

Get ready for the kicker.

The kicker.

Is it just me or are you breaking up?

He comes in and out.

Yeah, you got this electronic thing that comes in and out, but it's doable.

Yeah, slow line.

It gets faster next week, so hopefully.

Should I redial it?

No, wait for a second, because I don't have enough time.

I've got four minutes left before I've got to go.

But let's wait and see if the boss comes on.

Does Australia use dollars or pounds?

I don't know.

Dollars, I think.

Do you want to try ringing me back just if the lag goes away?

Yeah.

Yeah, real quick.

All right.

I'm going to talk for a little bit.

I'm sorry you had to leave, Jen.

Are you there?

Yeah, hello.

Yes, I'm here.

Are you able to ring back tomorrow sometime?

No, it's very important.

I must immediately, because I want to trade something with some friends.

I cannot hear you at all.

The connection's really bad.

Yeah, that's your problem, not mine.

I want to come in immediately and trade some cocaine there.

Do you understand?

No.

Aww. It sounds like

Skype is controlling your audio again.

Your microphone. That's what it sounds like.

Shit balls. Shit. Sorry.

Yeah, it's okay. It'll take some fine-tuning,

but you gotta go, I guess.

You wanna try, um... Yeah, sorry, man.

I'll come back next week, and

hopefully I'll have a much faster connection.

My broadband's due to be up. Sorry, I believe,

uh, Jim. I thought it'd be great if you could...

That's alright. I'm sorry, too. I was gonna come a lot earlier,

but I've gotta go for training in literally an hour,

so I've got an hour to get ready.

Alright, brother. Well, thanks.

We're glad to get what we get

Thanks Jim

We'll see you next week man

Take care brother

Good luck to you

Have a good day

Alright buddy

Good luck to you

Alright

Thank you so much

Thank you

Thanks man

No one doesn't like

Milkman Jim

Slava won't answer now

Might have to make him

Wait for a while

He's asleep

He's asleep on the job

Sleeping on the job

I'll try him in the next hour

Alright well

I ain't gonna go down

Alright well

What can you do

No problem

It's not your fault

So that was Jen Stewart

Did some prank calls already

We got a lot of requests

I'll get Slaven's brother to get in the cool and wake him up

Do that

Maybe you'll listen to him

I thought you'd like that surprise

I knew about that for about a week now

I didn't tell you on purpose

I wanted you to be surprised when it came on

I wanted to mention, now you mentioned Depends.

That reminds me.

I did edit last week's show late, but nonetheless, I did edit it in time.

It's on the Prankcast as of this afternoon.

Be sure to check your iTunes or update your feeders while you're at it.

also try to if you missed half of last week's show or the two weeks ago two episodes ago be

sure to try to re-download that episode it's a good episode but uh originally only half of it

got uploaded only a half version of it and most people that's what they got i didn't catch the

air until our facebook fans uh let me know the issue and by then it was too late the fat was in

the fire so to say wanted to mention i did uh watch uh johnny depp's uh movie he was a big

big fan of hunter s thompson i'm a big fan of the hunter s thompson book the rum diary i read that

about wow about 10 years ago um story uh set in puerto rico uh and uh it finally got made into a

movie and i must say was very disappointed with the movie it got like washed over by hollywood

wasn't as funny and missed a lot of parts and it's kind of watered down especially for a johnny

depp movie and a hunter s thompson movie they really i'm surprised johnny depp even did the

movie after what they did to that thing uh but uh if you're a hunter s thompson fan of like fear

and loathing in las vegas and shit like that check it out it hasn't gotten a lot of press

i i caught it on a whim i was watching tv and i saw that with the rum diary they finally made

that movie they've been talking about it for like 15 damn years but sure enough it's out there

that's right this is feel good by the gorillas gentlemen and ladies

We got a request here.

RBCP left a note on this guy's car

and he's wanting to talk to Roy. We got another one.

This guy's in Phoenix, Arizona.

I wanted to mention also before I go further

in the prank section, someone did note in the forums

which everyone should be posting in

in the forums

there is a thread

that got started about the classic section

in the prank archive

rather the show archives on the website

site uh it was empty up until today um people someone was asking you know what's the classics

and i and i basically said that's supposed to be for the best of shows i made a separate section

so you could find those instead of going through every single show they're all organized by year

but you can also go and see what the best ones have been throughout the years um i took some

time today and i and i off the top of my head i remember what some of the better shows we've done

the malacca shows in there um all the anniversary shows the first episodes in there the conference

specials that we did. I

added them to that section, so you can check those out

now. If you have any suggestions,

any shows that you specifically think were really

good, that you remember,

wow, a lot of shit happened. That was the legendary

Madhouse show. Let me know. Send me an email.

MadhouseRadio, gmail.com

or staff at madhouselive.com

and

you too.

If you love the Madhouse, there's a lot, a lot, a lot

to meet there. Yeah, there is. Well, yeah,

I did mark the Thanksgiving shows are marked also.

so i did actually i only marked the last two i should go in there and mark the rest of them good

point we've always in the thanksgiving show they always have been good good point and the

anniversary shows are marked also uh but that reminds me we did have a show where we where we

um did the craigslist ads in in phoenix arizona uh the mustang that was wrecked you know and we

ended up at a denny's and like three or four wreckers were at denny's at the same time and

the one guy said he was a detective detective stewart or something or detective johnson i

I don't know.

He was like, I will have charges put on you.

I will get you.

I'm like, yeah, whatever.

That's an epic show.

I've got to remember to add that to the classic section.

But I've got to figure out what date that was.

I think that was like January of 2008, 2009.

Yeah, 2008.

They caught that murder date, excuse me, on.

That's right.

Good point.

Okay, good deal.

Hey, Lonesome Loser is checking in.

That's good to see him.

Lonesome Loser has made it.

It must be 11 o'clock.

Sure is.

Right on the dot.

Just about.

out big what's up to everyone in the chat room right now including nunu who sent in a request

uh for a prank call i gotta do that in a second tabachi's in there also um amd tucks in the house

brandon cunt flaps cunny flaps awesome cunny is a very uk term that's a cute way to say uh

pussy is cunny i like it when a girl calls it a cunny it's kind of cute speaking of which dark

strangers here daryl big daryl what's up daryl from the yard doc brown hill valley x all right

right herbal bacon ig69 corrupt corruption caraz mikey129 who likes to jump in on skype and jump

out real quick like a ninja pure evil and rbc penis soliton a guy who wears no shirt i don't

know why it was somehow ended up in the phone losers tiny chat yesterday and there was an old

guy with man boobs and no shirt on talking about old computers and that was soliton and here he is

welcome we don't have a camera here but you're more than welcome to take off your shirts we all

all do that's right stay high uk ted uk ted hey uk ted's in the chat room i haven't heard from

in a while bastinado venison big venison and uh william 272

so we got gin back now we got to get reclude back in hollywood vanya you know we got to start

getting these old we got to start bringing the band back together telling you we got to do

yeah glow worm also but uh hollywood i've got the fuck is that mikey is that mikey you're hissing

mikey mute yeah it's probably mikey's gotta keep that one there those are the mikeys let's take

it a shower those in them again uh mikey really recommend it don't do your sandblasting while

yeah please i don't know yeah uh one last thing i know i've been talking uh chatty

kathy here for the last few minutes but real quick there's a new madhouse monthly poll

madhouse live.com slash poll or on the website there's links to the poll section

be sure to contribute and your idea for the month of november i'm trying to name the new madhouse cd

now i'm not going to be selling the cd i'm not going to be signing actual copies of it that's

too much work too much effort and i don't have the time for that but it will be a free download mp3

basically all it's going to be guys

it's not like a cd cd

this is going to be a collection of maybe up to 20 mp3s

in a special folder you can download

and it's going to be called the cd

it's a special collection

nothing special nothing like that but

just something for fun

so come up with a name for the next manhouse cd

the first one was named by milkman

how's your fat ass doing

there's a few suggestions

that I came up with off the whim

I thought of some more during the week

and I didn't write them down

um if i remember off the top of my head i think one of them in there right now is um do you know

what time it is uh how much are your spaces is an idea i've got also a horse prank machine i'm

actually i'm gonna yeah but you know what i uh what i came to my mind i can't do prank machines

because there is an actual group out there from back in the day from like uh early 2000s called

prank machine there were a group of prank callers back yeah that's going back way back um yeah but

i i don't know why it didn't huh yeah really is it no fucking way i didn't know that yeah i haven't

been on shoutcast by myself in a while the mouth stream has been off uh just really huh i don't

know well i think that the germany one's always been out there they call themselves man house

that's you know there's a club no listen yeah but listen yeah but listen here's here's that

funny thing any of our european listeners if you can shed some light on this i don't think the

people in uk know about this very much um but apparently there's some famous club in europe

i think it's in germany or something like that called madhouse and um and uh well i i jumped

on the twitter bandwagon really early like when it first came out and i took out just it's madhouse

you know twitter madhouse not madhouse live my house ready nothing like that just madhouse

and all the time i get mentions and retweets and stuff um for people about this club in germany or

something they're like and it's usually in german but like basically they're saying they're they're

on the way of the madhouse the club and they're going to be at madhouse drinking and stuff yeah

yeah and um also uh there's a some kind of weekly party in at the seminal casino the hard rock

seminal casino down where i used to live down in the tampa area and they have a weekly party

called madhouse and people keep saying like all the time like i'm going to madhouse i'm going to

at madhouse and it'll come up in my in my tweet deck and i'm like oh people are talking about the

show and i go in there and it's like i'm headed to you know or it'll be like the other day um i

I think it was Young Jeezy was like, you know, I'm going to be on Madhouse this week.

I'm going to be at Madhouse this week.

I'm like, no, he's not.

But cool, I guess.

I don't know.

But, yeah, I think we should prank call the club in Europe and also that party on Friday nights.

It's like some kind of party.

Oh,

my God, this is Madhouse.

The media search, the South Cache radio,

the guy's talking about three different issues at least.

Right. Well, hey, guys, someone is telling me the offender wants to motivate me.

We need to do pranks. Herbal Bacon also saying.

All right, come on, prank. Good point. Sorry, guys.

Hey, I said a while ago, we're going to call.

I apologize, dude, because this show is not only pranks. We do everything.

Yes.

By comedy, seriously. Yes.

Technology, food stores, everything.

Donut stores? What are you talking about?

Nutball? The hell's a nutball anyway? All right.

All right, ding your car.

Is this?

Car ding.

Please leave your message for 480382.

Oops, sorry.

You know, I realize that with Skype, it does come up unknown.

That might be what's happening.

I should probably call outside of Skype.

Well, you called me, but you're not calling me on the Skype line.

Yeah, I do call you from the Skype line.

And some people, it comes up unknown.

They say that.

Yeah, I think it's at random.

there's a studio also madhouse studio japan like an animation studio yeah i know about that

is there yeah um i know that uh man cow i think he used to call his show madhouse radio

a long time ago i know about please leave your message no answer there all right well we got i

think uh bradson at least one more of those uh yeah i know there's uh and then there was also

Also, that Madhouse Radio show, the guy that his intern was messing with our Wikipedia page,

and he got it yanked off because of the big fight.

I know.

Assholes.

What a bitch.

Because of him.

Anyway.

So, look.

We got a number here we talked about last week.

Chris Chan.

He's an internet meme guy.

I think he's a 4chan-er kind of guy or something awful.

I forgot which one of those he's on, but I've seen his stuff.

He's just a fucking doofnet.

that um internet sensation who was recently arrested for trespassing on a nerd hangout

for furries and nerds was he i i thought he got he got he almost ran somebody over with his car

anyway the place where he and his mom were arrested is called the game place call him

and tell him that valentine associates will represent him pro bono and try to get him to

admit that his game has a problem with being addicted to video games chris chan is a cross

stressor. Why was he at a furry place with his mom?

Hey, IG69!

Hey. Hey, I forgot you were there.

Hey, IG. How you doing?

Why was he at a furry place with his mom? I don't know.

What's that about, right?

So are you going to laugh at your own jokes tonight,

IG?

IG stands for ignorant.

Solotown booing 4chan. He was banned

from 4chan over there, and he's

banned from 4chan? I don't know.

I'm just making that up. You have to do something pretty twisted.

I know. Tell me about it.

It was normal. Or worse, you're right. There's some

bad stuff. There's a lot of bad stuff. I stopped

going to 4chan. Every once in a while

I find myself on there, but Jesus Christ.

I'm just afraid to go there, just in my browsing history.

It's a funny story. I'll tell you

about that in a second. What happened to me in 4chan? It almost got

me divorced. That's the best

thing about it. Everything gets deleted.

No, not this.

Hello.

Hello. Anyway, so what happened

was when I got

my Android phone and there's

a special 4chan

uh you know b app that uh you can get i was all right that's cool so now i have to deal with the

browser keep it on the side you know looks at the forums and all that the posting and all that and

the board and uh it's when i'm going i'm in the hospital on my way to get um my surgery and my

wife takes my phone you know she i give her i take my wedding ring off and give her my android phone

and shit and she's going through it looking at pictures and all of a sudden she just sees all

all this smut and she's like it's like carlos what is this shit what is this fucking you've

got kids on here they got super fat women what the fuck is i'm like i don't know what i don't

take those i don't look at that shit and sure enough what happened is this uh this uh 4chan

app chandroid it's got a setting by default on it that saves every picture to this to the sd card

on the android phone automatically you have to disable it when you when you install it and do

the options so every single picture was being saved any picture that i went in any board that

i went to any thread saved it automatically to the end i was like well no wonder my fucking sd

card's been getting maxed out he's like yeah so yeah she's so she's wondering why i've got

pics of you know like women with sharpies in their ass and people shitting and motorcycle

accidents and shit god damn yeah but i showed her said no i know where that's from and i

I showed her the edge.

She's like, oh, okay, I see.

All right, you got to send those to the milkman, the good ones.

Just leave out the hominid.

Yeah, so that's what I got for going on 4chan.

That's the best story I've heard in a long time.

Good cover, Armando.

There you go.

Good cover, brother.

All right, good deal.

Little does she know.

You're the master, the prank master of prank.

Not the fat one with the fucking tits either.

Where's the gargoyle roping helmet, soldier's helmet?

Okay, you're just going off on prank master now, your old buddy.

You guys used to be friends, you know.

What's that hat you're wearing?

Is that the Marlins?

The Marlins?

No, not the Marlins.

It's the Land of Magic.

Other M in Florida.

Hey, the Marlins got a new, they're now the Miami Marlins.

I'm looking at their uniform, and their new hat looks pretty cool.

They've got new colors.

They're not the Florida Marlins or the Miami Marlins now.

Last week, it was last Friday, they unveiled their new logo and name

and new stadium and all this shit.

So looking pretty good.

good i was i'm thinking i might buy one of those hats i don't even know why i'm wearing that

well that's that's a football milkman and we're talking about baseball right now uh there was a

the marlins left i forgot i think they were in florida city or something before some other city

just outside of miami and uh they wanted they wanted a joe robbie stadium or they were playing

and pro player became joe robbie whatever so they wanted a new stadium i guess and uh the city

city miami said did they do it all right i think or it's an investor that said he would buy him out

but they had to move to miami and then the city said well if you're coming to miami you're the

miami marlins you're not the florida fucking marlins so there you go the big thing about it

they're saying it's because it's miami then you know there's so many cubans down there and cubans

are crazier for baseball so they'll probably take to the team much better i guess it's i guess where

they play now it's kind of removed i don't remember where i know i've been to two marlins

in this game is when I was younger, but I can't

remember very well where. I think it was down

south of Miami. I could have sworn. I don't know.

Like on the way to Homestead, but not that far.

Miami Gardens. Okay.

There you go. Where the Dolphins played.

There you go. Miami Gardens.

It's all like that. I mean, like, the

University of Miami is in Coral Gables.

Fuck. I think the

Florida Panthers are Miami Panthers,

but they play outside, too. They don't

play in Miami. Yes.

I've got a situation here, man. I need to

make a stand. It's important. Can you call

Call me back in about, like, five or ten minutes, please.

I hate to ask you, man, but...

Yeah, it's okay, and if for some reason I forgot,

then call the cell phone, and I'll call you back.

All right, if I forgot, then you call first.

All right.

You need some backup, though.

I'll come over and sort them out.

All right.

You can...

UK Ted's going to sort them out.

All right, Milkman, be careful.

All right, cool.

Milkman's over there.

He's going into his trunk.

He's going to pull out that lawnmower blade and go to town.

I told you all, I warned you all.

I'll try to warn you guys.

It's going to happen one day.

Let's get going.

Numbers from Lonesome Loser, Kathmandu Kitchen, and Ashoka the Great Cuisine of India.

Mikey129 is back.

I got your sound fixed now, sir.

How about now?

Sounds good.

All right, before we get to Lonesome Numbers, we got a store here with toys for personal use.

Aha, this came in from X.

X is in the chat room.

X, as far as I know, this is the first time I'm meeting you.

There's a lot of pressure on you now.

I guess this is an adult toy store.

Now, I don't like pranking adult toy stores because they're used to people prank calling them.

But I got an idea about Edible Lube.

Edible Lube.

There goes Mikey129 again.

Edible Lube.

Jump in if you want.

He's your boyfriend or something.

That'll be fun.

What did we lose?

IG?

Iggy?

No dice.

Maybe later.

We'll be getting them on standby.

Okay.

Well, what time is it now?

1120.

We got time for a few more pranks before we take a break and do the second half of the show.

thank you everyone for standing by madhouse radio for november the let me meditate real quick

november the 16th 17th i knew that november the 17th oh jaime sent in numbers also here we go

jamie jaime jaime sending in numbers for foolish craig's cafe sizzle pie du coup b korean and

chinese food potato champion hey that sounds good le happy i might send some more later um okay cool

Cool, we'll do that.

Lonesome numbers, though, first.

They take priority.

I don't know if I talked about this on the show once,

but while I get over to Lonesome's screen here and load those up in the prank machine,

I wanted to mention that with Edible Lube,

Athena, for her bachelorette party,

she got some gifts, and one of it was a package of,

it was just like different stuff, lubes and stuff like that.

You know, ha, ha, ha, very funny.

And so I was excited because it was Edible Strawberry Lube,

and, you know, we got back to Florida,

you know and the honeymoon's over and we were unpacking all the gifts and you know we put that

in this you know special closet in the bedroom and then the first week in athena was gone i was

like i'm gonna eat that i want to take check out that edible lube it sounds good so i took out the

edible lube i thought edible lube was like yeah it's yeah you know you can eat it like it's candy

or something so i opened it up and i opened my mouth and i squirted in my mouth i filled up my

mouth and it it tasted like lotion and sugar it and i threw up just about all over myself

it was not what i was expecting really bad i mean it came through my nose and everything i was like

oh where's that going dad still me there you were in the kitchen this is shauna how can i help you

yes hi this is the kitchen in katmandu that's good you guys have do you guys do cooking with

pots over there i'm sorry what was that do you guys do cooking with pots well do you like copper

Not copper pots.

Do you want some copper pots?

They cook everything evenly, nice and good.

Not really.

No? Okay.

Can I help you with something else?

Yeah, well, I got a few things here from a medical place, a medical supply store.

Yeah, none of that interests us. I'm sorry.

Well, restaurant supplies also.

Yeah, there's really not anybody here who could talk to you about that.

I don't think we're looking for anything right now.

Is this the Indian place?

Yeah.

All right, can you put an order for me then?

Sure.

What's your phone number?

You said first.

Let me see here.

It's a new number.

Give me a second.

I'm sorry.

It's a 702.

Okay.

I take that back.

It's a four.

Okay.

Two four.

Yes.

Is that correct?

That's correct.

All right.

What's your first name?

This is Cross.

Gondu Cross.

Okay.

Is this for pickup or delivery?

This is for pickup.

I need an order of Bhenchod.

Of what?

Bhenchod.

Hang on a second.

Okay.

Hello.

Sanji?

Yes.

What's your name?

My name is Rinko.

Yeah.

Hi.

Gondu.

I need Banshoot, please.

Hello?

Yes, Banshoot.

Who, sir?

Banshoot.

Banshoot?

No, he has this name.

Any name?

No?

Are you Indian?

Yes.

I am Bengali.

Yes.

Am I Indian?

Yes.

Gandhu?

Ulukapata?

Gandhu?

No, listen, damn it.

I want Banshoot.

Banshoot.

Yeah, yeah, fuck.

You heard him in the background.

Banshoot.

Is he Indian?

I heard that.

Calling him back.

Never get tired of that Banshoot thing.

Banshoot.

Hello.

What does Banshoot mean?

Sister fucker.

I've got a friend here who's a Nepalese and speaks pretty good Hindi.

He can teach you some more insults if you like.

Oh, we know a lot of them, but yeah, we're definitely open for more Indian insults.

There's another one you taught me today, but I forgot what it is.

Motherfucker.

Motherfucker?

Motherchuk.

Oh, you know.

Motherchuk.

I told you I know.

I'm pretty good at Hindi.

Yes, hello.

Is this Banshoot?

No, sir.

Well, listen, you're Indian, right?

Sir.

No, your mother.

Listen, I don't know what that means.

someone told me to order ban chud and everyone keeps insulting me that's not nice come on just

tell me you gandu you fuck you you you stupid indian bitch fuck you motherfucker motherfucker

do you have sister you understand no what's that mean you understand mother chud hmm does your

mother go in bed with other men yeah she does huh okay yeah i'm i'm recording you i'm gonna trace

Trace your call.

I'm tracing this call.

I'm tracing this call right now.

Welcome, man.

Okay, Bhenchod.

Bye.

Awesome.

I'm sorry if you guys heard me laughing.

Yeah, you know, UK Ted.

It was funny.

Yeah, but you know.

Yeah, it's a comedy show.

Is that your picture on Skype that you got there?

Is that you?

Me?

Yeah, your Skype profile picture.

Is that you?

Yeah, that's me when I was younger.

You're handsome.

Handsome boy.

Handsome little boy.

All right, Ashoka, the great cuisine of India.

Hey, that reminds me, you know, I'm excited.

Tomorrow I got permission to go to the Chinese Hibachi Buffet Grill.

I'm going to go there and eat a lot of food.

I've been on a diet for a week.

It's time to carb up.

Do they have buffets there in the UK, Chinese buffets, where all you can eat?

Is that an America thing?

No, we have buffets.

Nothing like you have in the States.

Oh, man, we got some food.

There's a buffet in Florida.

You have a Ponderosa.

Oh, Ponderosa.

Was that Orlando?

It's the only place you've been?

Yeah, yeah.

Hello.

Hello, this is Indian Food.

Indian Food?

Yes, this is Shagadigarh Restaurant.

Good, good.

I'd like to make an order.

I've done this before, and I'm excited.

Okay, sir.

What is your name, please?

My name is Cross.

Sorry?

Cross.

Cross?

Yes.

And your telephone number, please?

Let's see here.

It's a cell phone.

It's a new number.

You're going to have to give me a moment, okay?

Okay.

It is.

Area code is...

Okay, go ahead.

Okay, do you have chicken tikka masala?

Yes, sir, we do.

All right.

right you also do spicy uh spicy please i like spicy okay all right also uh papa dumbs if you

offer them on the side okay do you have diet coke or diet pepsi two diet cokes some rice and naan

with that yes naan bread one naan one rice yes two diet coke yes and then and then my friend he

He wrote down here.

Let me see.

Terra Madilan.

Sorry?

Terra Madilan Bhenchod Gondu.

Hello?

Yes.

What do you need, sir?

My friend from India.

He said to order him Terra Madilan Bhenchod Gondu.

Sir, you know what you're talking about?

I have no idea.

He's from India.

That's a bad word.

No, it's not.

It's food.

What about Madrachad?

He said chad is food.

There's two types.

There's Bhenchod and Madrachad you can get.

Or is it chewed?

That was very...

That was very bad what you'll say.

Let's call back.

More bad words.

Yes, Banshoot, please.

I need that.

Sir, this is a bad word.

Okay, I cannot keep...

What does it mean?

It's not a bad word.

I don't care what it means.

Don't tell that.

He's from the church.

I don't think he said bad word.

Okay, I'm telling you, don't call.

I don't want to place the order.

Is your sister...

You heard that clearly?

Your sister?

Fuck you, bastard.

Ha ha!

Ah, finally got him hooked.

I knew it was coming.

Fuck you, bastard.

Oh, boy. I forgot to call Milkman back.

Let's go.

We need to find an Indian Charlie.

You do.

I like MSC3 Clay.

Hey, you safe?

All right, Sling Blade.

Good deal. We're doing prank calls to Indians.

Isn't that fun? Never heard of that before.

New idea.

On India?

Yeah, Indians. Indians.

Nice.

Tedabondi.

All right.

Let's continue here.

Cursing Indians in their own language.

Turning the tables on them.

Whenever you throw an Indian curse out, you've got to end it up with a ganyabad.

Okay.

What does that mean?

Ganyabad?

Ganyabad is thank you.

Yeah, that's thank you.

So you cut them out, you say fuck you, then thank you.

Ganyabad.

I like that.

I could have used that just ten seconds ago, Milkman.

Where were you, you bitch?

Well, I was waiting for the call to come all the way through.

All right.

Priya Indian Cuisine.

We should curse out Indians in Spanish.

Yeah, we should.

Well, Nunu had this idea once.

He said that we should...

Oh, I forgot.

God, Nunu had his prank request sent.

Oops.

He's going to get mad.

Nunu wanted us to have Jin talk to Charlie.

That would have been epic, too.

Balls.

Oh, that would have been...

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Let's call Charlie's son real quick and see what he's up to.

Does he know your voice by now or should Milkman talk?

He does.

He just...

You're not going to talk.

I don't think Lance is a student on a Thursday night.

Do I want to talk to him or do you want to laugh to him?

I don't know.

Let me talk to him first.

You get the second.

You're the second stringer now, sir.

You're still a better pranker than Milkman.

man. No offense, Smoke, man.

Thank you. You got it, man.

Hello? Charlie?

Yes, yes. Um,

chingale tu ma la. Huh?

What are you? What? Huh? Chingale

tu ma la. Well, what do you say?

Okay. Okay, wait a minute. I

teach you, okay? Okay. Wait a minute. I

teach you. Okay. Huh? Go ahead.

Now, what do you say? What do you say? Chingale

tu ma. Chingale.

No, I teach you.

I teach you. Chingale

tu ma la. Wait, wait.

And what's that?

No.

Does that fuck you what?

Chinga to Malewa.

Yeah, I understand.

Okay.

Okay, you're very smart.

How do you say stupid American?

Bites it.

Huh?

How do you say stupid American?

You chinga to Malewa, you understand?

No, no, I just want you to say stupid American.

Stupid?

Stupid American.

Stupid American?

Uh-huh.

Chinca la tuya, wey. Chinca la tuya, wey.

Are you speaking?

It sounds like you're speaking Spanish, Charlie. I don't understand. I'm confused.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm Puerto Rican. Do you know what that is?

Oh, you.

Okay, bye-bye.

No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. Please, come on. We're having a good time.

Oh, man.

I never heard him in such a good mood.

Yes.

You got three questions in.

You say, what do you think of the Madhouse?

He said, Madhouse?

And then that would be like our little promo.

Yeah, there you go.

Madhouse.

Yeah, that's, it's starting to become like the fuck you bunch of motherfucker guy where

at a certain point, after pranking him so much, he actually kind of liked me.

Sam the Donut Man.

After a while, he kind of liked me.

Would actually have conversations with me about stuff.

It was kind of weird.

He told me he loved me once and everything.

Oh, geez, man.

I remember when you called him and said you were going into hospital.

He said, oh, I'm really sorry.

Did he?

Really?

Yeah, he did.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

There was a time when the first show I did after I came out of the hospital and Charlie was, like, upset.

He sent me to the doctor.

You're right.

That goes back to 2006 here, dude.

What does?

What goes back to what?

Sam was 2005, sir.

Get it right.

That's what I'm saying.

2006.

Remember?

I was working at that hotel.

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

Yeah.

Yeah, that thing fell on your ankle.

Doc Brown, that was a while ago Doc Brown asked what my Skype was.

I'm sure you got it by now, Doc Brown.

I don't know why you haven't.

You can call in if you want, but it's madhouse.radio, sir, if you're still listening.

Madhouse.radio.

We got a pretty full dais right now, but I think we got room for one more as long as your audio is good.

Mikey129 is here already.

Hey, man.

What's up?

No, you're still hissing, man.

Doesn't matter.

You got a sound driver problem?

Gotta get out of the shower, bro.

Yeah, you gotta get out of the shower, man.

Anyway, so what were we doing before we called Charlie?

What were we talking about?

I already forgot.

Indians and cursing.

Yeah, there was something.

Somebody said something.

Try something.

I forgot.

Then you had a news set, too.

You were going to get mad.

That's what it was.

You were going to get mad.

Thank you, sir.

Yes, that's right.

You know, I keep track.

That's my job.

Keep the air to mind.

I look good.

Slavo, I'm going to call after the break.

I'm about to take a break.

And then we'll call Slavo.

You're going to have to remind me, though, Ted.

That's cool.

Cool, just warn me beforehand as well so I can get his brother to come listen.

All right, so we got Sylvana.

She's on Twitter.

She dropped her, what is it, three hours ago.

Wait a minute, what happened?

31 U.S. troops killed in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan today.

Oh, that's sad.

That's a big hell.

What was that, a Chinook helicopter or something?

Jesus Christ.

Hey, have you heard about this?

No, what about it?

Dude's base vehicle didn't go to Mars and back.

Okay.

One of the teams on, I know the name of the other one.

Sharon.

But anyway.

Sharon.

Yeah.

They

don't know where.

Is it nuclear powered, I'm presuming, then?

Oh, that's not good.

Hydrazine, yeah, I've heard of that before.

That's not great.

Hooray.

Thank you, Russians, the people who brought you.

If you don't exist, anything on any front of the sheet

may burn up the atmosphere here.

Great.

Well, we'll see what happens.

That doesn't sound good.

I said sharing.

Sharing is the moon of Pluto.

I was completely wrong.

Way wrong on that.

What is it?

I don't know.

It's Phobos and Deimos.

Deimos.

That's from Doom.

Ding, ding, ding, ding.

Give that man a gold star.

All right, good.

Someone can use Wikipedia.

No, no.

I remember that from Doom.

Back in the day.

Okay, good.

You don't have to use one.

Actually, good old USA has a new weapon that can go around the world in less than an hour.

Go USA.

That's good.

Is that Super Planner?

Yeah.

Hell yeah, man.

That's faster than one of the Russians.

That's faster than AIDS.

Thank you.

That made my night.

Who needs B-52s in this machine?

That's faster than AIDS.

So far, that's a contender for title of the show.

That's faster than AIDS.

I like that.

We'll see where the night ends.

But, Ted, you're in the running.

All right, so let's do a new, new prank here.

Gold star and a half?

I didn't do a half.

I did a whole one.

That's Mikey129, Mr. Hissy Audio.

Well, that's two already.

I already did an extra one.

I tried to do half of one.

I got a gold star back in the day.

I don't know where it is now.

Oh, jeez.

You got to save those, man.

Come on.

The new CD's coming out.

Redeem them.

You know, some kind of pull-in prank show, game show.

Yeah, we should.

I can't.

I've been forwarded to it.

Poop.

All right, well, nothing there.

I think it's break time.

When we come back, we got more pranks to do, though, of course.

I'm excited about that.

Oh, you should call Iran and pretend to be Israel,

telling them that

the Arabs are going

to bomb them

in about five minutes.

Yeah, that's good.

I think Iran is,

Israel's hell-bent

and they've been

hell-bent for a while

now to attack Iran

but the thing is

I don't think

I know this is

a frank show

and everything

but I think it'd be

absolutely fascinating

to hear what

just the Iranians

think about all this.

Yeah, good point.

About Israel,

yeah, you know.

We've got a hotel

in Israel,

in Iran rather

that we call a lot

maybe we could

give them a call.

Sounds good.

Yeah, did say

I was going to do

an international show

you know,

so let's call Russia here.

Um, Lonesome?

Oh, yeah.

What was that one we used to call with the A-Raps there?

And then they, like, had the men in the rooms, and they'd freak out and send the captors.

The Republican Guard?

I said that was the Homa Hotel.

They called it the Homosexual Hotel.

And I said, no, no, no, this is not the Homosexual.

Anyway.

Listen, guys.

Lonesome, if you can confirm Russian numbers, I would like to keep that promise and call the Russians.

A few hotels in Russia, maybe, if you got them.

Anyway, we may do that.

We do have a Greek cafe.

Their motto is, want a Greek, meet friend, they sit down and eat.

Okay, cool.

Ulysses Voyage.

I have no idea what that is.

We've got a Greek restaurant in San Francisco.

We've got a kebab house to call.

Well, we've got a Russian tea room and restaurant also.

There we go.

We're getting there.

We've got a few more Indian restaurants.

Nunu has some more numbers he sent in.

We've got more requested pranks.

We've got a lot of things to do when we come back.

In the meantime, give me about five minutes for a break.

it's sandwich time on manhouse radio if you know what that means then do it i shall not wait right

back in about five minutes thank you everybody manhouselife.com fucking dude how are you sir

fine yes good i'm glad you're fine because i'm also fine and the two of us we can be fine together

yes now listen i want you to take back what you said to me earlier what did i say you said

something about fucking and then sheep and things like that you bloody nose and all that shut up

you bloody nervous what were you ringing in here for because you're a little bastard listen you

bastard if you want to swear i gave you two numbers to ring up don't drink in here you

winker now listen to another thing yes the number has been given to the police

okay they're tracing the number i just my panties my panties are my friend they're

Tracing the number

Yes, okay

So fuck off, okay?

Yes, yes, fuck you

Yeah, fuck you too, you fucking wanker

Bye-bye, you fucking little bastard

You bastard

You can't even face me, you coward bastard

I would face you, I would face you

I would blow your fucking face off, you fucking bastard

Oh, you would blow my face?

Coward, hiding from somewhere and ringing people up, you fucking wanker

You little fucking coward bastard

let's go guys try to break in my truck be sure to visit us online at madhouse live.com

madhouse radio will be back right after this you know what i hope that when you die they put your

gps in your box and a trapdoor at the bottom so when you die you open a trapdoor at the bottom

You check the GPS, and you go straight down to the hell.

Madhouse Radio is back.

You are bigger than a woman.

You are better than a woman.

We'll always be behind you.

Do not let a woman ever, ever make you who you are.

We want to climb.

We do this job.

We want to be down with the king.

What you fucking do?

Use two dials.

We're back.

Madhouse Radio.

Sound effects are way too loud tonight.

Whatever.

Carlito, your host here for the second half of the show

of Madhouse Radio, MadhouseLive.com

We're on the Madhouse Radio Network

98.6 The Mouth

Cacti Radio and Blue Planet

Prank Hall Radio

Yeah, down with the

King, motherfucker

I'd say I'm the king of pranks, but Dr. Lego's

already that, so I just call myself the

best pranker alive, just like Jay-Z

Yeah, thank you, thank you

MadhouseLive.com is the website, AOL, Yahoo

Yahoo Instant Messenger users, Madhouse Radio, MSN users, MadhouseAtLive.com.

Right now we got Big Milkman, Big IG-69, and Big UK Ted and Big Mikey 129 all here.

Thank you, everybody.

That's right.

Check out the Madhouse.

You can play with the Armanito, Carlito, and Claire Jackson.

Bookapoo has a master plan idea.

Call Burger King and ask to speak to Ronald McDonald.

I got an idea here's what you do you go you get a you get a big mac for a whole week every day for

the whole week right but every day you take out an ingredient because there's seven ingredients

the two patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions sesame seed buns so every time

you take out just one of the ingredients and eat the rest you set it aside god damn it mike you

want 29 god damn it anyway so at the end of the week you get a free big mac you put it all

all together. They got a big map.

A free one. That's stupid. That's Trigger's Broom.

That was from the episode of The Office

today. I saw that. Brand new episode of

The Office and they made that joke.

Yeah, it's a ship of Theseus. What?

What are you talking about? It's a ship of Theseus.

It's a conundrum.

A conundrum. Okay. It's a paradox or something?

I don't know. Yeah, yeah.

Basically. Alright, guys.

Yeah, man.

What is that, Mikey129?

You got a USB headset or something?

Good God. You got a USB 1.0

headset you gotta upgrade to two now ted's got an echo geez you guys are failing me man

ted we're gonna have to hang up on you unless you get your echo fixed i keep muting i don't

know it's not working okay listen uh we got calls to do but here before that a lot of people in the

prank uh chat room asking us to call the audi guy again i do have his number so let's give him a

call see if we can get into it with him again very stuck up gentleman one of these uh car people

not the Audi guy

is this a car person a ding person

yeah just anyone who's had their car damaged

yeah well alright

you want to do a prank

it is

the car shouldn't be where it was

I think Brad sent in another one

he sent in a request to prank I don't know if that's a new ding

unless he saw the conversation

and re-sent the old one

oh no he did send in the Audi guy

not a new one darn it man

I apologize for my angry words I want to hear an Audi sequel

or I mean a trilogy

also 59 viewers on the cacti stream tonight

and that's a record.

Wow, really?

59 on cacti.

Good thing, uh...

That's good.

Actually, that is a record.

Good deal.

Pop the champagne.

We must have had

over 100 people

watching the show

for listening and watching

all together for a while there.

I wasn't paying attention.

We're down to 80-ish?

85-ish?

No more Gorillaz music.

Your call has been forwarded

to an automated

voice messaging system.

Gotta be doing that.

Oh, he didn't answer.

Sorry, guys.

I tried.

He's one of those

secretive monkeys.

Anyway, Lonesome Loser

did confirm

Firm. He stepped out for a second.

When he comes back, he is going to be sending in

some Russian numbers, so we're going to

do that towards the end of the show.

That's exciting news.

Looking forward to that.

In the meantime, plenty of other numbers, as I mentioned

before the break. Numbers from Jaime

and also more requested pranks

as they come in.

I don't know where Milkman is.

It sounds like he's in Albertsons or something.

I don't know. He's at the Safeway.

Hold on, I'll meet it.

Okay, sounds fun.

Where are you made?

It's overdrawn.

I just made a deposit.

I just got paid.

Oh, Milkman, always overdrawing his account.

I'm closing my bank account with the big bank that I'm with.

I won't mention what bank it is, but one of those big banks.

We're going back to our credit union.

I talked about this a few weeks ago, but I'm done with them.

It doesn't have the letter.

Shut up.

No, it doesn't.

It's not that one.

The other one.

But, yeah, I've got a grand total in my bank account now.

i took out all the money i sent a theme to the bank to take out all the money in there we left

32 cents in the bank account 32 cents that's the price of a stamp like 15 years ago all right

jaime let's get to your numbers here real quick sir if you're still listening hopefully you are

yeah my eye is starting to bother me now i don't think i scratched it subconsciously i've been

trying not to but they told me don't scratch the eye that'd be bad but this injection was just in

the side of the eye.

Not the actual eye itself, but like

into the bone near the eye.

Like the inside of your temple.

But that injection next week is going to

be in the eye itself. I can't imagine

why they fucking... What I'm going to do?

How am I going to get through that?

You're going to be alright. You're going to come out good, man.

You know, if I smoked pot still, I would get very high

for this. I would be high

like an N-word pie.

I do want to apologize to our African-American

listeners. I did drop the N-word last week

you got of anger. I don't talk like that in my

off time. I'm sorry. Craig. Foolish

Craig's. I thought you'd be closed by now.

Yes, we are. But I still answer the phone

because a lot of times my employees need things

from me. I'm sorry? What things?

I can't hear you. Direct deposit.

Is it happening tomorrow? Direct deposit?

Mm-hmm. Are you asking

me if it's happening here?

Yeah. Do you guys do direct deposit there?

We do. Okay. So is

it going to hit tomorrow? Well, we

got paid last week. We don't get paid this week.

Who's this? Oh, this is Cross. I'm a

a customer uh do we do direct deposit here yeah uh yeah i mean some of the employees opt to some

of the employees don't all right that's cool yeah so so next week i can get a direct deposit you

can get a direct deposit you can i i'm confused are you are you discussing banking matters as a

customer i'm i'm i don't understand yeah i am you are you an employee that wishes to get direct

deposit from us no i'm a customer you're a customer of foolish craigs uh-huh yeah i was

wondering if you guys have direct deposit this week or next week or not um well i i don't

understand why i'm releasing our our financial information to a customer that's for an investment

do you guys do the the adp card also or do you just know we don't we don't do anything like that

paychecks uh paper checks also or just direct deposit um yeah i don't really understand the

nature of this call but if you want to if you want to call back tomorrow and talk to the general

manager that'd be all right this is all supposed to be public information i don't understand why

you're withholding it that could you could be getting some trouble because i usually don't

I usually don't get phone calls of this nature, and I'm reticent to answer due to the fact that I don't know if it's public or private information.

I'd really have to check with the ownership.

No, it is public.

It says it on the computer.

Yeah, I'm not comfortable taking this phone call, sir, with all due respect.

But please have a nice night.

Do you have papers?

Well, please have a nice night.

Okay, good.

Big words.

He said reticent.

Yeah, I was going to say, wow, man, that threw me for a loop.

Like when Zolar said umbrage once, and I was like, what the fuck?

Foolish Greg.

Yeah, do you have the papers there?

Do I have what papers here?

Well, you know when someone gets hired, you give them certain papers like rules and the W-2 and all that?

Sure.

Sure, we keep those here.

Yeah, I want some copies of those.

I'm sorry?

I want to come by and get some copies of those.

I know you're closed, but maybe I could be here in like five minutes.

You give me some copies of those papers.

No, I'm not doing anything like that.

Sorry, I'm not releasing any information or payroll information to anyone.

What about the insurance information there?

No, I'm not releasing any information about the way this business is run to anyone.

I'm sorry.

I got hurt there, and you're supposed to give me the insurance information.

I demand this right now.

I'm making a claim.

No, I don't answer to demands like that because I don't understand.

I don't have the legal ramifications to know whether or not that's a question.

Listen, you're using big words, but I command you to give me this right now

or I'm going to hold you responsible.

Responsible with whom?

What's your name?

My name's Jim, and we're closed.

So, I mean, that's what I don't understand.

You're demanding information from me.

I don't know who this is, what you're looking for, what information you're looking for.

Listen, sir, I'm the attorney here, and this is a Freedom of Information Law request.

and you were required to give this to my client.

That's right.

I cannot understand what you're saying,

and I cannot really understand or grasp what you're saying,

but I would say this is a phone call to the owner.

I fell down in the parking lot, okay?

I'm sorry?

I fell down in the parking lot earlier today after I was there,

and I'm holding you people responsible.

I need to get these papers and information for my lawsuit against you.

I've got my attorney on the line,

and this is all freedom of information, act information.

We don't even have a parking lot, sir.

This is in my parking lot.

After I ate there, I fell down outside.

We don't have a parking lot.

What's your name?

I'm running you down in his dais.

What is your name?

I'm sorry, man.

This doesn't sound like anything I need to deal with.

This is something the owner needs to deal with.

What's your social security number?

Yeah, and I'm not giving you that.

What are the last four numbers?

Yeah, I'm sorry, man.

You gave me the last four numbers.

Unless I have your information, I'm not releasing any information.

Listen, my social is 9383 is my last four numbers.

I don't want to know your social, sir.

I don't want to know your social.

9383.

I don't know who this is, and I don't know what this is about,

I don't want to know your social security number, sir.

No, I don't have to give you anything, sir.

No, I'm not required by law to give anyone my social security number over the phone.

Send a cop. Send a cop down here.

Send a cop down here. I'm talking to the cop.

This guy is complicit. He's being evasive. He's not giving you the information required.

This guy needs to be on the lawsuit, too, sir.

Yes, he does.

Well, I don't understand.

You know, if I've got someone telling me I need to do something over the phone,

and I don't have any paperwork to prove that I need to do this, then I'm not going to do it.

I'm not going to be part of a lawsuit.

Well, you are.

I don't know who this is.

There's no excuse for evasion of the law, sir.

Listen, I...

I'm not evading the law.

If you get a cop here to tell me I'm evading the law, I'll speak to an officer.

But I'm not speaking to some guy on the phone demanding I give him my social security number.

Morgan told us to call in.

I'm sorry?

Morgan and Tim both told us to call in and get this information from you.

Who did?

Morgan and Tim, both of them.

Hang on one sec here.

Thank you.

Morgan!

Morgan, friend.

Come at me, bro.

Seriously, tell me the information right now.

No, I'm not giving you any information.

I'm talking to Morgan right now.

He says nothing like that happened today.

Morgan and Tim both said that's exactly what I needed to do.

It was called speaking to you.

What are you swearing to me for?

Now you're swearing I can hang up.

Have a good day.

I swear.

What did I say?

Nothing.

Did I swear?

What a fucking liar.

I didn't hear you swear.

I didn't hear it either.

Call him back.

This guy resisting interrogation.

That is definitely a legal offense.

You did really good, Milkman.

I like that.

You're quite believable.

It's Craig.

Yeah, listen.

That gentleman said that I was swearing.

I didn't swear on the phone at all.

I'm sorry.

Man, I was going to really swear.

All right, cool.

That was fun.

Thanks, Jaime.

That was actually fun.

I guess he knows more than Tim that worked there.

Intimidated.

Sporty Bort saying Morgan can't make sauce.

I'm in the madhouse.

Another piece of it.

Good times.

All right, we got Sizzle Pie.

Whatever.

Nothing like more satisfied customers for our madhouse.

Another satisfied customer from the madhouse.

That's right.

Another player in the madhouse.

Wheel of Savings.

What do you think you're calling Sizzle Pie?

Maybe Sizzle Pie.

Is it Sizzle Pie?

Yeah, I want to make a order.

Okay, cool.

I'll take the pie.

The pumpkin pie.

Uh, can I get your name?

Can you take the pumpkin pie?

Hello?

Hello, um, can I get your name?

Yeah, this is Jack Masterful.

Okay, John is the name?

Jack Masterful.

Okay, cool.

And listen, you take the pie and you fry it in the bacon, hello?

Uh, yeah, I'm having a little bit of trouble hearing you, but...

You take the pie and you put it, you fry it in the bacon grease?

Yeah, we, uh, we make it and then bake it in the oven.

No, in the bacon grease, you fry it so it sizzles the pie and the bacon?

Um, yeah.

Yeah, or we...

You put it in oil and defry it.

Okay, not what you're asking exactly.

You know how you take oil and you put stuff in oil when it's hot and it fries?

Okay, yeah.

And you take pie and you put it in the oil and it fries up.

Yeah.

Can you do that?

No, we don't.

Can you do that?

Can we do that?

Yeah.

Um, hold on just a second.

Okay.

Hi, thanks for holding.

Yeah, do you want to order bacon fly?

I'm sorry, we have a bad connection.

No, I talk like this.

I'm sorry?

I talk like this.

Do you mind trying to call back?

I really...

This is what I...

I'm sorry?

I talk like this.

No, no, it's just that I'm...

There's an echo on the phone.

Oh, I'll call you back, Bob.

Okay, thank you.

Fucking Skype.

Hello, this is a pie.

Hi, is this you again?

Oh, hi, yeah.

This is a much better connection.

Okay, so I'm...

What you do is the pie goes in the fire,

You want us to fry the bacon?

No, I mean, we've got the bacon.

It'll cook in the pizza oven.

We don't have, we're not set up to do that.

So if that's something that you'd like to do, maybe you can do that at home.

Do you make bacon there in the oven?

oven? Right. We'll bake it in the oven. What do you do with the bacon grease? We, it's

just, we bake it in the oven. It comes to us and then we put it on the pizza and it's

baked in the oven. Well, you don't make, do you don't, it makes grease when you put it

on the oven, no? No, no. Yeah. So we just put the bacon on the pizza. Yeah. So yeah,

it's, it's sent to us that way. So we don't, we don't fry it ourselves or anything. You

Well, it was supposed to be sizzle pie.

It is, but we don't fry things here.

I went to the fair, and they put pizza in a stick, and they put it in the fryer with oil, and it was fried pizza.

That sounds delicious.

I wish we were set up to do that here, but we're just not.

Can you please do that?

I'm sorry.

Can I put you on hold for just a moment?

Okay.

Thanks.

What's wrong with this pan that I'm using?

Hello?

So, did you already order some pizza?

Yeah, the pizza in the oven, and you fry it?

No, are you, do you want some pizza to go, or are you going to eat in here?

I'm going to eat in there.

Hopefully, the problem is that I'm in a wheelchair, and the transportation brings me into special transportation.

Okay, what kind of pizza would you like, other than fried?

Well, you don't do that one?

No, no, I'm sorry.

Well, you make bacon.

Yep.

Okay, and you fry bacon.

Yeah, do you want a bacon pizza?

Yeah, a bacon pizza, but put it in a pan with oil, please.

Yeah, okay, well, what's your name?

Oil pizza.

My name is Jack Masterson.

Okay, and I should be ready in about 25 minutes.

Do you have droppings?

No, no we don't.

Do you have any droppings?

No.

I don't know what else.

I swear it's going to be greasy.

That sounds good though, I like it.

Yeah, okay.

I usually eat food like that.

I weigh 482 pounds.

Well, I got you set up for a pizza, it'll be ready in 25 minutes.

Hope to see you soon.

I'll see you, bye.

so you're legally required to provide that pizza

within 20 minutes of this request

it's

got 20 minutes

Per the law

Hey guys I was wondering I don't know what I did with this pen

I think I used it as a q-tip

Now it was in my mouth it's all sour

Meaty flavors for that

People were asking about the arm

The arm's around

The arm just hasn't had any leads lately

But Madhouse Secrets

There you go

The arm's still out there

I still communicate with The Arm, but The Arm is still anonymous.

Does not want to reveal who they are.

I mean, everyone, anyone would know who The Arm is.

He's a big Madhouse fan and actually a celebrity

and gets secret information for us all the time,

but can't tell you who it is.

I'm sorry.

Maybe when we end the show, decades from now,

The Arm will reveal themselves.

No, not Aspen, Mikey129.

It was in my ear.

I use it as a Q-tip.

Ew.

Well, you know.

No, I was thinking of the first one.

My ear was itchy.

Aspen.

Cheese-flavored pen.

If you get a cheese-flavored pen, you better kind of wonder.

What's the prank?

Wasn't there a prank once where I did the Jack thing,

and I was like, I weigh 482 pounds, and she goes, well, then you're fat.

And she hung up the phone on me.

Yeah, that's a classic.

It actually used to be one of our promos.

Yeah, I remember that.

Then we called back a little bit later,

and she pretended like she didn't know what we were talking about.

She swore up and down that she didn't say that.

Yeah, I remember that.

She had that chicken.

Remember?

She had that stuff you put on the walls to keep the winter from getting in.

Yeah, I don't know what that was, but...

Yeah, she swore up and down.

Slava's brother wants you to call him again.

Kuras, you sent him...

Yeah, that information sounds good, but the Skype is working okay now.

He hooked us up with a SIP client that we can use to call anywhere in the world.

I might test that out next time.

Nunu wants to call UK.

Yeah, you just need a hard piece of hardware,

and then you can use it on

Google, I believe you can

use it still with, what's the

one we used to use? Gizmo

Gizmo, yeah

that's what that number you were issued

was the original SIP number

you still have that number, that's the SIP number, you can use it with

a piece of hardware. Yeah, Gizmo though

is not supported by, Google

bought them out and did nothing with them

I don't know what happened, they went to Google

and then they bought Grand Central and just

did Google Voice or Grand Central

And the whole thing, people were hoping that Google would take Gizmo and Google Voice

and make it so you could have a SIP client with Google Voice, but still nothing has happened.

Well, I wonder how that works.

That's still a number in my login and everything.

Yeah, you do?

Yeah.

I remember that Gizmo, the first week of the show, I had Gizmo.

That's how me and you, that's how we used to do this.

We did that for a long time.

Yeah, that's how Milkman Connected was on Gizmo.

That was a connection.

uh-huh yep but uh yeah not anymore and i can't even remember what my screen name using him anyway

all right yeah i mean i don't know whatever hey that was sizzle pie we got a korean play

so let's ask them how long it takes to shit in the toilet uh nunu is asking for uk calls the

only thing lonesome losers stepped away and i don't have any uk numbers now i do have a log

that i keep and there may be some uk numbers there if you're good little boys and girls

and I'll get to that in a little bit.

Okay, gotcha.

UK Ted, you wanted to add something?

Yeah, man. If you're looking for a UK number

to call the... Oh, Slavo.

Slavo, that's right. I told you to remind me about it.

You didn't do it. You didn't do your job.

I'm reminding you now. Alright, good point.

Alright, let me call Slavo.

Okay, don't mention his name or he'll know it's a prank.

Don't mention his name. Just talk about the massage.

Okay, gotcha. Yeah, I mean,

see how much money it'll cost to get a massage off it.

I'm curious. You got a point.

I just come up, oh it's level

See they do offer massages

But not in the night time

So you see how much it can cost to get one off level

You got it, alright this is a UK number

We're killing two birds with one stone

I just finished

I just finished season 2

Of Star Trek

Deep Space Nine, I just want to thank you guys

A few weeks ago

On the show, maybe two weeks ago I said

I really wanted to watch Deep Space Nine

But they didn't show it in syndication anymore

more uh somebody mentioned they have every single episode on um netflix and yeah ever since then i

watch about two episodes maybe three a day of uh ds9 catching up oh i'm gonna heard hulu's uh i

heard the the companies are really putting hulu in a hurt now they don't have anything anymore

to be honest with you well they just have tv shows and most of that garbage i don't watch

yeah that's right well yeah well hulu uh i mean with netflix they got every single star trek

series and they even you know what i'm gonna i'm gonna try to watch uh tomorrow um i used to watch

this when i was younger is um the animated star trek series i've got even they even got that on

there i have that one too do you yeah well they got those even that was like when i was like a

little kid man i was up with yes uh this is the hotel hello yeah you have the spa oh i can't hear

you can you can you call again do you have a spa hello spa damn it damn it skype's all fucked up

up tonight that was the wrong one was it yeah let me see no it was i guess oops you are right i

apologize yeah that was a local number i don't know who i called there anyway what was that guys

we called the other guy remember he didn't answer remember that morning yeah hello i wondering you

have a spa there right you have a spa no we don't you don't do massage no well come on what place

place is this? Hotel. Hotel with a spa and massage. Do you have toilet? It's dirty? No. Huh? No. Who is

this guy? Is this Aziz? What is your name? Give to me your name. Give to me your name. Give to me

your name. I don't know. What the fuck's with the dialing? Jesus Christ. What was that beeping too?

That sounded like an old Jim Stewart call. Where'd that ever come from too anyway? Why do Jim Stewart's

calls always have that weird beep? Now I'm confused because I'm putting in a number here

to dial and it sounds something completely different. Or was that the right number he's

is playing i don't know who that was 6266 is in the number hello yes hi listen i understand that

you don't have a spa but you do massages there right during the day uh no is there any services

there no beauty service you do a haircut no what can i do to get a massage then hello if i stay in

the hotel can i have a lady do a massage from outside no no they won't come in and do a massage

And none of the women there might do it for $100, 200 pounds?

Slavomir?

No.

Bhenchod?

Huh?

This is Bhenchod.

Are you Russian?

No, I'm not.

Where are you from?

Pakistan.

From Pakistan?

Yeah.

Do you read the Quran?

No.

No?

Do you eat pork?

No.

Would you like some pork?

What kind of dickhead are you?

Huh?

What kind of dickhead are you?

Dickhead?

Yeah, dickhead.

Big one that was on your mother last night.

The kind of dickhead that don't blow themselves up.

Jewish.

And your mother, my dickhead, was on last night.

You know what she sounded like?

Oh, really?

She was like this.

Like that.

Yeah, right.

That's your mother.

Anything else?

Horse.

What was that?

You're a horse.

Really?

Yes.

Seems like compliments from you.

Uh-huh.

Yep.

Listen, I'm a traveler.

Are you?

Yes.

I live in a caravan.

Okay.

Okay?

I want you to come to my caravan.

Sit down with me in the caravan.

Take off your pants.

Uh-huh.

And that's it.

No more.

Just look at you.

That's it.

Anything else?

No, that's it.

How much is my total?

Huh?

How much is my total?

Um, you know.

Well, print something out.

What do you think?

How much you charge to take off pants?

Huh?

How much you charge to take off pants?

Huh?

How much you charge to take off pants?

Huh?

Fuck me.

God.

If you're gay, say huh.

Too late.

I would have gotten him.

Is that Slavomir?

What's going on there, buddy?

Mr. Ted?

UK Ted?

UK Ted here?

Yeah.

Was that Slavomir or somebody else?

I don't know.

Pants are overrated.

Good point, Dark Stranger.

Pants are overrated, Dark Stranger.

Big Dark Stranger.

Do women like hairy chests?

I was taking a shower today.

I was looking at my chest.

It's quite hairy, and my ex-girlfriend used to like it.

She used to put her hands through it.

I'm not a hairy guy, but my chest is very hairy.

Just my chest area.

The rest of me is skin, baldy.

I got a little bit of hair on my arms, but my chest is very hairy.

But he was a bear.

I'm telling you.

I don't know.

Dark Stranger, I mean, I'm presuming you like boys.

It's okay.

But he had a lot of chest hair.

If you're into girls, it's okay. I'm not putting you on the spot.

You didn't even have to answer the question, Dark Stranger, but I'm just wondering.

But he was. He was pretty damn funny, wasn't he?

Shut up. I'll shave your head, you stupid shit.

Okay.

I'll shave you in the head.

I got that little monk cut, you know, like the samurai have.

You know, it's balled on top of the little tail.

Yeah? Wow. I'll shave that up.

Dark Stranger likes boys and girls, both, she says. All right.

I am bisexual. I'm fabulous.

Nice.

You know the girl that I dated back then, she was also...

Also she did that thing

With the girls

Alright guys

Girls

Oh yeah

Isn't that

Don't they have a G-spot

On the side

Isn't that right

What are you talking about

On the side man

Is that where you've been looking

You've been looking

At the wrong place

Dark Stranger

Well I remember

Whenever last time

I was on a KDK show

A KDK show

He was telling us

That the woman's G-spot

Is on the side

And they don't know

How to

Unless you do it

In her asshole

So you gotta like

Reach around to the side

That's too much

Dark Stranger

Is that true

True. Where's your G-spot at? Tell us. Let us know.

Where is it at? If it's on the side...

Any of you ladies out there

that could possibly point us in the right

direction, I believe KDK was

mistaken, and if you could confirm

that, please, contact me at Amano.

He has several messengers. Join our chat.

MadHouseLive.com

chat, please. Enlighten us.

I think I know what you're talking about. We are willing to learn.

I think I know you... I think KDK did

say once in a show that all men had a G-spot

on the side that you could only hit through

anal sex or something. Yeah,

Yeah, I remember what you're talking about.

Well, I'm born wanting anal sex according to the case.

Oh, Darth Sanger's going to point me in the right direction.

Nice.

And then, and then there was Nunu.

And then there was Nunu.

What the hell are you talking about?

And then there was Nunu.

Thank you.

Numbers, pranks, we've got to do them.

Invalid phone number, that's not good.

Shit.

Trying to call a Korean restaurant here before we call the UK and Russia,

leading up to the finale of the show,

where I will show you my hairy chest.

The grand finale

What does this look like?

Yeah, hi, this is Korean food

Stop me if you've heard this one

Do you have kimchi fried rice?

Shut up, yes

Yeah, yeah, okay

To go?

To pick up, to go, yeah

Yeah, what do you want to?

Do you have kimchi fried rice?

Kimchi fried rice?

Uh-huh, fried rice

Okay

And uh

Do you have Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi?

Coke

Uh-huh, Diet Coke

Okay

All right, do you have wonton soup at all?

Wonton soup at all?

Say again?

Okay.

Say again.

What's the total?

Total?

Yeah.

Total?

Yes, total.

How much?

Total?

Yes.

You order kimchi fried rice?

Okay.

Only kimchi fried rice?

Yes.

And Diet Coke.

$11.

Okay.

Can I have some love with that rice, please?

Rice?

Love.

More rice?

No, love.

I'm sorry. I'll say it again.

You know love? You know what love is?

I want you to show me.

How much?

I want to feel what love is.

No more?

Listen, I want to know what love is.

Hello?

I want you to show me.

What can I do for you?

I want to know what love is. I want you to show me.

Sorry?

I want to know what love is. I want you to show me.

What is love? Baby, don't hurt me no more.

Love.

I can't hear you.

I want to make an order for kimchi fried rice, diet coke.

Oh yeah, kimchi fried rice?

Diet Coke.

And then what else?

Diet Coke.

Just one kimchi fried rice?

Yes, and a Diet Coke if you have the cans.

Do you have Coke there?

Soda to drink?

Yeah, yeah.

So you want one kimchi fried rice and Diet Coke, right?

Uh-huh.

Do you have wonton soup?

Sorry?

Wanton soup.

Yeah, we have wonton soup.

Dumpling soup.

One order dumpling soup.

Oh, yeah.

One kimchi fried rice and one dumpling soup.

And one Diet Coke.

Yeah, I get you.

And I want some love with that rice.

And rice?

Love.

Love, please.

Anything else?

Give me some shit to drink.

I can't hear you exactly.

I want some shit to drink.

One dump of one side, one Diet Coke, right?

Yes, listen.

And a stupid Korean to make the food.

Ha ha ha.

Uh-huh.

You?

Yeah.

It would take about a month.

What?

It would take about 20 minutes.

What's the total?

Sorry?

What's the total?

One second.

People are serious.

Yeah, you will be $21.

Huh?

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

Can I have your name?

This is Cross.

Chris?

Yes, Chris Cross.

How long?

Yeah.

How long?

Yes, sir.

Shut up.

Thank you.

Shut up, please.

How long after I eat will it take me to go shit in the toilet?

Stop me if you've heard this one.

If you've heard this one, stop me.

But how long does it take to shit in the toilet after I eat the kimchi fried rice?

I have no idea about it.

I come in a horse.

A man comes in the restaurant with a horse, and he sits down.

Yeah, I see it. Bye.

Listen, the horse sits down.

Whatever.

That was rude. He didn't let you finish your joke.

I know. I was trying. I was very rude to him.

I don't think you liked it because they weren't wearing horseshoes.

I guess not, Milkman. You're wearing your horseshoes.

Questions in the chat room. What music?

This is more Gorillaz.

We are now up to the Plastic Beach album from 2009, I think this came out.

Maybe 2010.

I think it's a 2010 album.

Classic beat show album, yeah.

Classic beat show.

My wife has one of those.

I don't think anybody gets it, but that's all right, Hermano.

At least you do.

That's one thing I miss, too, beat your lead or not.

Uh-huh.

All right.

Oh, Jaime, you got a lot of numbers here.

I'm wanting to get to some different ones, though.

I'm going to get back to those a little later.

Potato Champion and a French restaurant.

We did a few of yours.

If I got time at the end, I'll do those.

But in the meantime, we got more to do.

I like that, dude.

You remembered your name, Chris.

Jump, jump.

Okay, guys.

Now we got some Lonesome Loser numbers to do, including Russia.

But before that, let me try to knock some of these other ones out.

Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, wah.

Chris, play that Twitter monopiece.

It's time to play a song.

He's going to lose.

I'm going to have that shit.

Why don't I play some Will Smith while I'm at it?

Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, wah.

It's white people rap music.

No thanks.

Play ICP and Rappy McRaperson.

and i don't like it and he stung me okay that didn't work so we got uh the russian tea room

they're probably closed here i'm just going to knock these out of the water the ones that i

couldn't get to earlier just in case some of them are still open and then we'll call russian we're

We're all going to call it a night.

Hello, Scott.

This is the Russians.

I'm sorry, what?

This is the Soviet restaurant.

No, it's a Russian restaurant.

Free Soviet.

I'd like to make an order for Soviet food.

No, we do free revolutionary food.

Okay.

I'd like one potato.

Say that again.

One potato.

Two potato.

No, just one.

Three potato.

No, because in Russia they just have one potato.

You can only get one potato when you stand in line.

I'm kind of busy making pumpkin pies.

Do you have a legitimate question here?

I'd like to make an order for chicken pie.

Uh, we don't make chicken pie.

What are you making, you said?

Hello, sir.

I thought you said she's making chicken pie.

It sounds good.

We have order.

Your call cannot be answered at this time.

Dammit!

Please try again later.

Baz with a good suggestion, and unfortunately they're not answering.

I will attempt to do so from the Google voice line and see if they answer.

Put the next on.

This one's taking too long.

Goddamn gorillas.

Good music, but sometimes it strikes on.

Kind of nature.

Your call cannot be answered at this time.

Please try again later.

Goodbye.

Goodbye nothing, comrade.

All right, that was the Russian restaurant in the United States.

Now we've got more Russian, authentic Russian coming up.

In the meantime, let's knock the rest of these out.

This one is called the Kebab House.

Jack, it's Kebab House.

Yes, hi, I'd like a kebab.

Yes.

I want to order a kebab with meat on the stick, the kebab and meat stick.

You know what we're on now.

Do you have pork kebabs there?

Pork?

Yeah.

No, we don't.

Why not?

Hello?

Lamb kebabs?

Lamb?

Yeah.

It's coming soon.

So what do you do, chicken?

We do chicken and we do beef.

Chicken and beef?

Yes.

Chicken kebab, right?

We do chicken kebab, we do the beef kofta kebab, the tri kebab,

which is like a gyro, but it's on a slow-roasted rotisserie.

That's disgusting.

Is it?

That's disgusting, nasty people food.

Really? I don't think so. It's actually very good food.

What country is this from?

Huh?

Are you American?

Yes, I am. I was actually born in Orange County.

Oh, man.

I would think that you would know from my accent.

I thought so, too.

I was going to have fun with you, but you're a stupid American.

What's up?

I was going to have fun with you, but you're a stupid American.

I guess so.

You're shoving up your ass.

Are you from California, Orange County?

Yes.

Do you like surfboard and orange shoes?

I can't hear you well.

Do you like surfboard and medical marijuana and all that stuff?

No, no medical marijuana, but I do surfboard.

I do some skiing.

Stupid.

You got blonde hair?

Yes, I do.

stupid ass

long hair

green eyes

stupid asshole

alright

I guess

whatever

just get a real job

if you ask me

man I cut off the song

Google Checkout

is now part of

Google Wallet

I just got an email

from Google

hello

thank you for being

a loyal Google Checkout

customer

we have now

converted to

Google Wallet

well I was wondering

when they'd do that

they're doing the whole

I just got a call

from Slava

yeah what'd he say

stop prank calling him

alright

moving right along here

moving up to our

Russian numbers

coming up in a second.

If you got this request of pranks,

you can send them.

Make sure they're confirmed.

A lot of places are closed now.

Make sure the 24-hour places are open late.

Sounds like nothing to me.

Moving right along.

Milkman, are you still there?

Moving right along.

Thank you.

I was quoting you.

That's what you always say.

Oh, by the way,

some of you are gamers.

I'm thinking about picking up a new PS3 game.

Out of these three,

what should I get?

Battlefield 3,

Modern Warfare 3,

or Skyrim?

What do I get?

Tell me.

I think you should buy the book.

A book?

Alright, a book on video games.

Chat room, let me know what you think.

What are your thoughts?

I heard you were going to do a master's degree.

You got a point.

I guess I can't.

Thanks.

Thanks, mom.

Pegasus Greek Cafe.

Pegasus Greek Cafe, may I help you?

Hello, yes.

I want to make an order for Greek food.

This is a place where you call and make orders, is it not?

We close 9 o'clock.

Do you not?

What time do you open?

We open at 11 o'clock in the morning.

I have an event.

Ben, if I needed to get a pastry, a few of them, could I make the order and pick it up like around 12 or 1?

Sure.

Okay.

You want to pick it up tomorrow?

Yes.

Okay.

Let's see what you need.

Malacca.

What is it?

Malacca.

Moussaka?

Malacca.

Yes.

Do you have our menu?

Yes.

No, well, my friend is, you know, he said to order Malacca, that you have Malacca there.

I don't know what is that.

What is it made from?

It's made from this person, Mount Malacca.

The person makes it.

Are you Greek?

Oh, Persian.

This is Greek food.

Are you Greek?

I am originally from Lebanon.

Oh, is there a Greek person there?

A Greek person?

Uh-huh.

No.

So there's Lebanese people that run this place?

Yes.

Why?

Because maybe you should...

I never heard of Malacca before.

I've been working for a Greek family for all my life and never heard of it.

I don't understand.

Maybe you should just...

What is it made from?

Well, it's a honey thing.

Filo, nuts, Malacca.

But I think the problem is you should only be doing Lebanese food.

Baklava.

Why are you doing this food?

Are you talking about baklava?

Yeah, but you don't have a right to be making food that's not from Lebanese.

You don't have the right.

Who said so?

The Americas says so.

Oh, okay.

Because this country, you only do what you're made for.

You stupid Lebanese.

What's happened?

Why are you making this Greek food?

Yeah, shit.

What is this now?

Greek places, no Greeks.

Indian places, surfer dudes.

Dude.

Oh.

That's right.

Yeah.

Why?

Why is that cannot have?

Make Lebanese food?

I don't like Lebanese food.

But I was here.

Ask for pizza and a Chinese man comes to your door.

That's what I'm saying, Mikey129.

Yes.

Go to an Italian restaurant.

Is all Mexicans in the kitchen?

Shit.

Go to the doctor and his last name is Patel.

Hey.

What kind of food is this?

What kind of stupid food is this?

What kind of food is this?

Try him one more time and then it's Russia.

Russia up the ass.

And he's just hanging out.

All right, so we got Oka Kataha-u was the name of the list.

Oh, man, it was Greek?

I mean, I could have done a Malacca call.

That guy sounded Greek.

Let me try him on the Google Voice then.

Easy come, easy go.

We want the gyros with the lamb shish kebab.

You want an order of a cocktick?

All right, nope.

All right, Russia time.

Let's do it.

Winding down the show, if you got your last-minute request to prank, send them in.

Madhouse Radio on AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger.

MadhouseLive.com.

Send a request to prank.

Request form.

Request.

Also

Yes, hi, is this Soviet Union?

No, Soviet Union, please

This is the Soviet Union

Yes

The rivers in Kovr-Golgograd are cold in the spring

Sorry, it's a very bad line

Could you repeat, please?

Do you speak English okay?

Yes, sir, what's happened?

Okay, listen

I'm coming to the Soviet Union

I'm going to defect

I have secrets

I want to sell you my secrets

I'm American, I wear designer jeans

I will give you my jeans

Yes, please, thank you

Hey, stupid

Yeah, this is America

This is the Soviet Union

The Soviet Union

Yes, I'm calling the Soviet Union

I'm from the United States of America

I'm going to defect.

I'm wearing designer jeans and I have rock and roll music.

I have cassette tapes with Bruce Springsteen.

We'll play the music for you.

Yes, I'm calling the Soviet Union.

I'm from the United States of America.

Yes, I want to make a reservation.

Reservation, I'm willing to pay you in designer jeans, Calvin Klein jeans.

Okay, just want to connect you with our reservation department.

No, wait, wait a minute.

Is this the desk, the front desk?

Yes, this is the front desk.

Do you have a toilet in every room?

Yes.

Okay, because I heard that you have to stand in line to use the toilet in the Soviet Union.

Oh, definitely not.

Okay, and for dinner, what do you have?

Potato?

One potato with water?

Oh, we've got a lot of different menus, so you can eat everything you have.

Do you make, you take, Soviet potato, is you take potato and you put it in water and you boil potato?

So, what do you want?

You would like to reserve a room?

My name is Mikhail Kalatozov.

Okay, just a moment, I'll connect you with our reservation department.

No, no, no, I'm in the hotel now.

Oh, you're in the hotel now?

Okay, how may I help you then?

I need someone to come clean the toilet.

Okay, in which area are you in?

I'm in number 112.

112?

Yes, you come.

I want you to come and bring me Soviet potato.

Okay, may I have your name, please?

One more time?

112.

So, we've got rooms on the first floor.

We've got four number rooms.

2112.

So, they start with one of...

Yeah, stupid.

So, what are you saying, sir?

I said you're stupid.

You're a stupid Soviet communist.

What?

Let's try and get him some crocodile.

What?

Crocodile.

Crocodile, yeah.

I want to try that.

I'm going to get some of those.

I got syringes here from my insulin.

I'm going to get some crocodile tears.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Nunu has sent in a number for the BBC Scotland in Glasgow.

See if I can get through to someone with a strong Glasgow accent

and accuse them of being drunk because they slur their speech, et cetera.

Good.

All right.

That sounds good.

All right.

Before I call more Soviets, let's do that because that sounds like a good premise.

Thank you.

Glasgow.

We've got a request to prank from Big X.

Big Sex.

Who's ID?

Glasgow what?

Nunu.

Nunu, your friend.

You know the neighbor.

Good morning, BBC.

Can I help you?

Yes, hello.

This is the BBC.

Yeah.

There's something with your accent.

What's wrong?

What's wrong with yours?

I'm American.

I have a normal speaking tone accent.

Oh, you do?

Well, I swear, because I'm Scottish.

Okay.

Well, you're slurring.

Are you drinking?

Aye.

You are drinking.

So what is it?

What's up?

You're breathing.

You're drunk.

Okay, good thing.

Yeah, stupid.

That didn't go too well.

Let's try again.

Morning, BBC.

Can I help you?

Yes, may I speak with the manager, please?

Sorry?

I want to speak to the manager.

The manager of who?

I'm reporting that there's someone who's drunk there on the phone.

Thank you, pardon.

You've been drinking, sir, and I want to talk to your manager right now.

Goodbye.

Come on.

Be angry, mean.

I guess I can't at the BBC.

The London BBC, they're jerks.

No one lady called me stupid American.

Everyone in London's a jerk.

No kidding.

What?

No, I didn't call you.

I don't know.

I can.

You're going to get into an argument with Milkman again?

Milkman, you there?

Good.

All right, Milkman, I'm going to put Artie in the line.

I want you guys to behave and not fight with each other like you did last week, okay?

Are you smoking again?

No.

All right, I'm calling you right now.

Bye.

Here goes this.

I know the Russian song, the Soviet.

It's like...

It's an awesome theme.

Awesome anthem.

The Soviet one was awesome.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, buddy, how you doing?

Hey, man.

I'm going to be a Seminole.

I'm going to be an FSU Seminole, yeah.

Seminole? You're going to FSU?

Yeah, I'm going to FSU, yeah, man.

Isn't that great?

You coming back down to Florida?

No, I'm going to do it online, classes.

No, that's not that thing.

Fuck you, dude. I'm a Seminole, dude. Seminole Nation.

You're going to be a defensive end?

I was a defensive tackle.

Anyway, look.

We're calling Russia. Be quiet.

Russia.

Yes.

It's the Soviet Union.

What?

I don't know who it was.

I'm looking for a Soviet Union

She didn't like that I made fun of her

I guess they do

They're smart there now

Remember, they were

Soviets used to be dumb

They were stupid

For a while there they were

Now they got MTV

Women talking back to their men

Yes, Soviet Union

Yes, listen

Do you speak English or not?

Stupid

I don't know what the hell you're saying

American

Here they hang up there

It's not like Americans

Right up now.

Okay, moving right along.

I'd like to, if I can remember who the hotel was that we called My Little Chicken in Russia.

That was a classic.

I thought my hotel was My Little Chicken.

If you like it, I am a horse.

If you like, I am chicken.

Hello, Soviet Union, please.

Huh?

Soviet Union.

I don't understand.

English.

What do you want?

I'm calling the Soviet Union, the Brandon Club.

Yes, yes, yes.

Your name is Galovlo?

Yes.

Yes, and where are you?

Where are you now?

I'm in the toilet.

What?

In the toilet.

Here?

Yes, in the toilet there.

I have my...

Oh, that's your floor?

I'm going to take my pants off,

and I want you to come inside the toilet with me.

I don't understand you.

Say me where...

In toilet.

In the bathroom.

In the bathroom, toilet.

Yes, I'll come to you now.

Listen.

Huh?

Do you have pants?

Do you take off your clothes with me in the toilet?

No, I...

I want to know, where are you now?

You are in the hotel.

In the hotel bathroom.

Yes.

Okay.

I'll come.

And you come to me and kiss me.

Kissing.

Yes, yes.

Okay, bye.

Whatever.

I don't know what the fuck that was about.

What is she asking about?

My Galapagos?

Is that me?

Galagos?

This is Galagos.

Right.

Okay, Ms. Rush.

I'm in the toilet.

What?

I'm in the toilet.

Okay.

I go.

She sounds like one of those Helga Russians.

That was Family Hotel, and they do not answer.

We need to put the Russians in place, because they're getting out.

Soviets, sir, Soviets.

Man, the world has changed.

I just remember when I was a kid, growing up,

I couldn't imagine being, even my age now,

when I was like 10 years old,

I couldn't imagine that when I was in my 30s,

i'd be able to call russia for 2.5 cents a minute i just it boggles my mind and that we wouldn't be

enemies anymore and that their flag wouldn't be red and yellow it's just wacky i don't know about

you guys but i'm still an enemy of russia burger king god it's just nasty why would you eat a

mcrib wasn't already yeah i was hungry i had the munchies okay so you had two mcribs good for you

Yeah.

Your sugar probably went up really high.

That McRib is nasty.

McRib is nasty.

I love them.

Okay.

Good afternoon.

I'm calling the Soviet Union Hotel.

Hello.

Is this the hotel in the Soviet Union?

Mm-hmm.

Good.

That's good for you.

How can I help you?

When the Soviet Union, when you want to eat, they put potatoes in the water.

Sorry, I can't understand you.

Potatoes?

Sorry.

Potato.

Do you know potato?

No.

Do you have water?

Sorry, what I was talking about?

I'm talking about water.

Water?

Yes.

Which water?

In the toilet.

Sorry, you are calling to Gorson Hotel.

Uh-huh, in Soviet Union.

Sorry?

In the Soviet Union.

In Russia.

No, Soviet Union.

What is Soviet Union?

That's where you live, Communist Soviet Union, the enemy.

Sorry, I cannot understand you.

Russia, Mother Russia.

Listen, where you live in Russia, when you're thirsty and you want water, you go to the toilet, right?

You drink out of the toilet, okay?

There you go.

Sorry, I can't understand you.

Have you ever put Kool-Aid in the toilet and mixed it up and drank out of the toilet?

For just a minute.

Stupid.

939, 939, 98, 98, 96, 99, 98, 98, 96.

Who's got the bad audio?

Where's that coming from?

Russians have no sense of humor.

Someone's got a bad hiss.

Where's that coming from?

It's not me.

I can't use it.

Yeah, it's not you.

I think this is a bad Skype thing.

I'm going to reconnect everybody.

Not me.

No, it's not already.

I'm going to reconnect everybody one by the time.

Let's see.

Milkman.

That was Milkman.

Oh, boy.

Please enjoy the following music while your party is being reached.

This Soviet Union thing is not going anywhere.

Got one number one.

Are you in the shower?

Are you in the shower or something?

Milkman, you sound like Mikey129.

Yes, sir.

I'm in my favorite competitor in the...

Wow, big deal.

Hello, Moscow.

How can I help you?

Russia.

Soviet Union.

Absolutely.

Good morning.

Yes, is this the Soviet Union?

The Soviet Union Hotel.

What is this?

Sorry, do you need the address of the hotel?

Yeah.

Well, no.

You tell me what do you do.

Sorry?

What do you do, stupid?

stupid it's just not they're not weird anymore there what's going on god they got a little bit

of money you people got a little bit of money and you want to order us around sir i said you

russians got a little bit of money and you think you tell us what to do and you're ordering us

around and being all nasty on the phone what's this i'm very sorry sir i don't like your attitude

and there's russian people anymore i had enough i beg your pardon i don't like the attitude of

the russian people anymore i think you people should show more respect because we won the cold

Cold War.

We should have destroyed you when we had the chance.

We should have had a nuclear first strike on the Soviet Union.

I'm very sorry, sir.

I apologize for a person who has been nested to you.

The whole country owes me an apology.

You understand?

Everybody in Russia owes me an apology.

Yes, sir.

I got it.

Now, listen.

Yeah?

We had a three-to-one nuclear missile superiority over you.

You understand?

And you people couldn't even feed your own people.

Very sorry, sir, but you are calling to the hotel Moscow.

I know, this is the Soviet Union. I'm calling to complain.

You'd like to complain to our hotel?

I want to make a complaint to the entire country.

How can I help you?

I want you to apologize on behalf of the Soviet Union.

I'm very sorry, but I think I just can't do it.

You can do it, please. Say after me, I'm sorry on behalf of the Soviet Union.

Sorry, sir, but how can I be?

Well, because you're a Soviet, communist.

And what do you want me to apologize for?

Your bad attitude.

Towards whom?

And that you're not afraid of the United States anymore.

You're acting all sassy, the Russian.

Why should we?

Huh?

Why should we be afraid of?

Because we're a superior country.

Okay, sir. I get it.

We're the best country in the world.

Yes, sir.

We put the first man on the moon.

We put the first man in space.

We put the first satellite in space.

We put the first dog in space.

We invented AIDS.

Hello?

Did you write all that down?

We put the first man in space?

I know.

His name was Yuri Gargarian.

He was from the United States.

Sorry, sir, but I can't hear you properly.

Oh, it's because you're a mongoloid?

Do you have epilepsy?

I beg your pardon?

Do you have an epilepsy?

No, sir.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, okay?

Okay, sorry.

I got it.

I'm sorry, too.

You got an answer for me?

Sorry, sir?

You have an answer for me.

What exactly?

I don't know.

I don't know what else to do, you know?

Do you wash your hands?

Yes, sure.

Every time you go to the bathroom?

I beg your pardon, sir, but...

No, no, because...

They told me that the Russians, they don't wash their hands all the time because they have...

They don't have a...

She had a burp.

Welcome to BTR-1571.

The person you're calling is not available.

Well, Nunu, I tried to call your Russian proofreader.

No answer there.

I think we've beat this...

Oh, hang on, Milkman dropped here.

Yeah, I tried to mute Milkman because he was hissing a lot and it dropped, you know.

What's this Obama thing

We're talking about internet censorship

Please enjoy the following music

While your party is being reached

The SOPA

S-O-P-A or whatever

Or S-O-A-P

Whatever

Some bill

Well that's not going to end the show without Milkman

Please enjoy the

You're ending the show?

Yeah I'm out of numbers

I'm tired

Lonesome's tired

Nunu's tired

We're all tired

I've never been here to the end before

Yeah I haven't

Yeah well look at you

Sounds like you're getting your keys ready.

You're getting ready to sign off yourself there, buddy.

Yeah, just to my reports.

Okay.

Enjoy the following music while your party is being reached.

Hey, wait a minute.

Wait, wait, Milkman, we're back.

We're going to end the show.

MSC3 Clay says that got passed.

Hold on just a second.

I'll be right back.

All right.

That bill got passed?

Piracy Act or something and how it allows them to shut down any website they wish.

Oh, man.

That sucks.

I heard, I thought, I heard, Milkman, what do you know about this bill, this internet

privacy bill?

I heard some rumblings about it, but I heard it wasn't going to pass.

Now Clay is saying that it did pass yesterday.

Is that true?

I haven't heard anything about it.

This is something new.

I'm going to have to do some quick research.

I don't know about that one.

What is the premise of this whole thing?

Well, I don't know.

I think I had heard someone said that it was like veiled as a way to stop internet piracy,

but it wasn't going to do it.

Stop Online Piracy Act.

Hang on.

Let me see.

Here we go.

Well, you know, the stupid-ass Republicans,

now they want people to be able to carry a gun in any state

because they got, only because they got a government in one state,

they can carry a gun anywhere.

But they don't give a fuck about, you know, anybody getting any work or anything.

But they're more worried about fucking people shooting each other.

The Stop Online Piracy Act, also known as H.R. 3-2-6-1,

and the E-Parasite, Enforcing and Protecting, blah, blah, blah,

introducing the house of reps on october 26th by the representative lamar smith oh him

fuck god there's people that communist damn republican they weren't damn crazy fucker at

and a bipartisan group of 12 bipartisan group of 12 initial co-sponsors aka lobbied uh fucking

rhinos man the aim of the bill is to help you the aim of the bill is to help u.s law enforcement

and copyright holders fight online transmission of restricted intellectual property

introduced by the House Judiciary Committee

as building on similar legislation.

They need to be fucking denotted.

Built on the same as the Pro-IP Act of 2008

and the Senate's Protect IP Act of 2011,

the bill modernizes criminal and civil statutes

to meet new IP enforcement challenges.

I'd heard about this, something where if you played music,

it would be something where I would get fined a lot of money

for playing this Gorillaz music all night.

That's a goddamn bullshit.

Look at this. This is crazy.

Contents.

The first half of the legislation addresses foreign infringing websites

that would make unauthorized streaming a felony.

It would remove the safe harbor provisions of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.

Ah, shit.

How the hell does this get passed?

And make social websites that host user content,

such as YouTube, Tumblr, and Facebook,

responsible for ensuring that the users...

Is that going in or what?

...infringing material.

Oh, my goodness.

Wow.

That's terrible news.

That's bad.

That's not good.

Good. So street...

Unauthorized streaming of felonies. So basically

I'm a felon right now. Right now technically

I'm a felon. I might as well take all my shit down.

What do you mean a felon, dude? That's bullshit.

It is a shell. It is a shell.

Enhanced Enforcement Tools Against Foreign Infringing Websites in Two Different...

Against Foreign...

How do you go against foreign infringing websites?

The bill authorizes Attorney General to initiate federal court enforcement procedures

against criminal activities conducted on foreign infringing sites.

Those that engage in trademark counterfeiting, copyright infringement,

or theft of trade secrets would be subject to seizure if they were domestic Internet sites.

God damn it.

Wow, that's crazy, dude.

I had heard about this in my tech TV shows and my Twitch shows,

and I would kind of heard it in passing and never paid attention to it.

Holy shit.

Increased penalties for certain especially dangerous acts of counterfeiting,

economic espionage, and willfully infringing copyrights by streaming.

Wow.

That's nuts, dude.

That's bullshit.

That's crazy.

What are you going to do?

Ramifications.

Represents a rewrite of the Protect IP Act to address tech industry concerns.

Protect IP does not, blah, blah, blah.

We're open to working with them on language to narrow the bill's provisions.

I guess it's very broad right now is the problem.

We are very open.

This is a quote from someone before it passed.

They were trying to be very open to tweaking the language to ensure that we don't impose extraordinary burdens on legitimate companies

as long as they aren't the primary purveyors of pirated content.

Known as Safe Harbor, the DMCA provision protects YouTube and other sites such as social networks

Networks hosting uploaded user material from liability,

provided the sites promptly remove infringing material.

Right, that's what YouTube does.

The risk that the few...

Dude, we're not giving away fucking material, dude.

That's bullshit.

If you have your own CD, man, you can listen to your own CD.

No, I can't stream.

Hey, listen, stupid.

I can't.

I'm not supposed to be streaming the music.

Even if I have my own CDs and bottom,

I'm not supposed to be able to stream the shit.

I can't do the performance.

I got to pay royalties.

It's a public protest.

It's not.

Well, no, I mean, it's different than the U.K., sir.

You don't understand.

This is different.

A whole different ball of wax.

You only have yours to blame.

If you take no interest in politics, this is what happens.

Yep, you're right.

You got a point.

Well, I mean, I was interested, but I was busy, you know.

Did you vote?

Yeah, I do vote.

I always vote.

Are you kidding?

If you listen to the show, you know I'm always into politics and voting and getting involved

and stuff, but holy shit.

I remember the day you went to see Bill Clinton.

I did see.

He was in Orlando last week

You should have gone and seen him

I should have

Yeah, he was in Orlando on Wednesday

He was doing a book signing

At the Barnes and Noble

I don't have his book

Well, you could have bought it there, asshole

There you go

Yeah, how much is it?

I heard your Occupy Orlando friends

Started a big mess in Orlando today

They did something on I-4

And there was a car accident

Because of what they did

And someone died

What?

Yeah

That's funny

They got on an overpass of I-4

They were hanging signs

And banging gongs

and drums and shit

and some people

some lady got distracted

and hit someone

in front of her

and she died

and injured someone else.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, so

now Orlando's all

like get rid of

Occupy Orlando.

They killed somebody.

So, fuck, good work.

Go tell your friends.

Dude, that night

was fucking crazy.

Booker was so smart.

But, um, yeah.

Last two days

have been amazing, dude.

Anyway, so

this did

did this pass

just the house?

If it just passed the house

and there's fun

Fine, the Senate will stop it or something.

I don't know.

I don't want to keep up time about this.

If it passed the House, then okay.

There's still the Senate.

Well, I had heard.

Remember, I heard about this a little bit, but I didn't do the research.

But I heard that the Obama administration at first was against it,

but then it said they were for it.

In the past, they've been against the stupid piracy bills,

and now, for some reason, they were for it.

I guess election year coming up, and they need money?

Because they're not getting the donations?

All they want is anything to try and get these Republicans.

Nunu, do you have the blood of Jesus?

Booker really wants us to call blood of Jesus, lady.

I do not have that number on me.

Nunu, if you have it, send it to me and I can do it.

You've got a few minutes before I wrap the show up.

In the meantime, I'll call your Jeff Hoon,

a corrupt UK politician who used to be important

but now whores himself out to companies

and isn't in office anymore.

George, Jeff Hoon.

Hoon is also, there's a damn Hoon in our senate.

Or, not senate, but...

We should complain.

No, Ben.

Why not? They're related.

Yeah, that sucks.

So what's going to happen is YouTube will like,

People won't be able to upload to YouTube anymore

because YouTube's going to be like,

we're not going to hire somebody to sit

and catch every single person that puts copyrighted music.

Because you won't be able to put clips of something.

It's like a clip of a movie.

That's copyright.

Can't have it on.

Music, can't have it on.

Music in the background.

God damn it.

UK Ted, you're in the echoes all the time.

I don't know what that is.

I just came off mute.

I don't know.

Whenever you come off of mute, that happens.

I don't know.

I just came on to say goodnight anyway.

I'm going back to work.

Goodnight, buddy.

Take it easy

Yeah, man. I hope everything goes all right with you.

See you, man. Bye.

Is this Mr. Hoon?

Yeah, who's speaking?

Yes, hi. This is Jack Volante. I'm calling from the United States of America.

Good morning.

Good morning. Listen, there's been a bill that's been introduced in the United States House of Representatives.

It's called the Stop Online Piracy Act.

Yeah?

I want you to stop it. Listen, I know you're a corrupt politician. You can make these things happen.

He hung up already. That was a fucking cell phone.

But I talked to him, a corrupt politician.

He didn't seem...

Yeah.

Whatever. Milkman,

take us out of here.

If I get the blood of Jesus Lady from Lonesome or New New

in time, then we'll do it. If not, we'll go.

Milkman, out of here. Take us out.

Oh, my goodness.

I see, I see, I see, said the blind man.

And then there was a madhouse.

Very funny.

Thank you. Rub it in my face.

I wasn't talking about the blind man.

I was talking about the blind man like

I didn't mean it like that.

Oh, okay.

But you get great vision and

insight just tuning into this show

regularly. You are the purveyor

of light, disseminator

of information, our fearless

leader, the General Lethimo

of the Madhouse, whom we should all

thank. And I'd like to thank everybody

else for participating. All our friends

right there in the chat,

madhouselive.com slash chat.

Everybody showed up. Sir Nunu, that's right,

our representative, Ponce from

England. First of all, I did want

to make sure we hit up our biggest man of all,

that number. We can do anything without you.

All in there

One time

We're down for this

I think we're sure glad

You showed up

All our friends over

Tonight

Out there

Tune in next week

Cause we're gonna have

For Thursday

Do not miss

Into this time

That's right

You can hear the

General Lee

Bad friends

We do it

And bring your friends

A very inviting enemy

We couldn't do anything

Without

Leader

The General Lee

For the Madhouse

Our leader

We love you

And thank you so much

For taking the time

To hear the ear balls

Of the world

Fanatical

Big guy

Big thanks

For showing me

yeah show's ending

big thanks to everyone

who joined in the show

including Evil Artie

who's over there

sitting in his own

phone

oh Evil Artie

yes

thanks guys

it's been fun

UK Ted

thank you sir

IG69

I think he's still

connected but he was

on too

that was cool

Mikey129

jumped in and out

every once in a while

it was good having

Jin Stewart back on

the show

was excited about that

thank you sir

in hindsight

for being on

everyone who sent

in numbers

especially Jaime

X

RBCP

Nunu

Lonesome Loser

as Mailman already said

anybody else

that I'm forgetting

thank you

UK Ted

UK Ted sent in a number also

thank you sir

and speaking of

sending in numbers

we did get one last one here

all of our prank callers

get off their

listen we got

we got the blood of Jesus lady

we got her

excited to the conference

last prank of the night

here we go

be sure to check out

the prank cast

over at

madhouselive.com

subscribe to the prank cast

yes hello

listen

this is the lady

the pants

hello

yes blood of Jesus

calling about that I had a drink today hello Jones Jones had the blood of Jesus

this morning I drank I drank the blood of Jesus it was delicious

we're losing her open wasn't her don't go don't go in the light that was a week

on my part party Wow racism in America today hello JM Jones

Jones, hello, hello, please, please don't do this to me, I need to talk, I'm sick, she's

not going to, usually, usually at some point she says, what's wrong with you?

Hey, how's it going, Charlie?

I don't know, we're going to talk to Charlie, Artie, you've been busy, getting laid, having

sex with girls.

I'm sorry.

Hand wax on there, Artie, you missed it, there we go, I already done been there.

Charlie was talking, he was all friendly, he was like, let me teach you.

He was very, he was sensational tonight.

He was on the podcast already.

He was like, let me teach you.

He started explaining the curse.

It was great.

Okay, guys, over.

The show is.

Next week we'll be back on for our Thanksgiving special, our annual tradition.

Black Friday.

We're meeting on a Black Friday.

I want to mention Lonesome Loser.

Before a preemptive strike here, I know, according to the news,

a lot of places are opening at midnight this year in comparison to the last few years.

In particular, a lot of Walmarts, Staples, Kohl's,

a lot of places are going to be doing midnight door busters.

So a lot of opportunities to prank call here in the show late at night.

I'm looking forward to it.

I'll be one-eyed because I'm getting a...

You know what I might do?

What?

I might call from Walmart to answer their phones when people call in.

There you go.

That's what RBCP did one year.

He was answering the phones on Black Friday.

Good deal.

All right, everybody.

It's been great.

Thanks to everyone who participated.

We'll be back next week.

Bye.

We love you.

Take care.

Have a good week.

We should do more horse next week.

We've got to bring it back.

We need to get that number.

The horse and cow restaurant in Guam.

That's who we did the horse.

We should revisit them.

Oh, the horse.

That was hilarious.

We'll call them and then also Bruno.

Let's see if we can find Bruno.

Or at least that hotel.

The Bruno Hotel.

I mean, it's a hotel.

I've been wanting to find it.

Artie, do you know that Bruno doesn't work the night shift anymore, right?

Because you've been calling him.

I don't remember.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't think he does anymore.

But anyway, all right, guys.

I got him.

You got him.

All right, cool.

We'll work on it.

We got big plans next week and big pants to match.

See you next week.

All right.

See you.

All right.

Talk.

Calls (31, 1 h 19 min of 3 h 14 min)

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