Go Boil Your Head

You fucking pussy ass bitch

Fucking pain calling

Fuck you

Hey

Hey man

Yes

Hey man

Stop with your language

Never call me more than that

Bye

I'll come go on your head

Well come on

I'm not playing no fucking games dude

I

Fuck you son of a bitch

Stop making a stupid call

You're out of your crazy mind

You ain't getting no goddamn dollars

I'll fuck you

All my life long

You're perfect

Why don't you piss off

You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast

This is basic civil defense information from the Department of Defense, Office of Civil Defense, Washington.

If the United States should be attacked with nuclear weapons,

it's almost certain that our networks of warning stations would detect incoming bombers or missiles

in time for you to reach shelter or at least take cover.

You may receive warning of an attack by radio, television, or through the outdoor warning system in your community.

It's important that you learn to recognize the attack warning signal and not confuse it with any other.

In most places, the standard attack warning signal is a three to five minute wavering sound

or a series of short blasts on whistles, horns, or other devices.

Either of these signals means that an actual enemy attack has been detected

and you should take protective action immediately.

Immediately find out from your local civil defense office the attack warning system that will be used in your community.

My fuck you, bitch.

My fuck up.

My pussy.

God help us.

Please, God help us tonight.

God, do everything you can to help us.

Everyone pray.

Both your hands up and pray.

If you're a New York Jets fan, do the Tim Tebow, why don't you?

Good evening, everybody.

Madhouse Radio connecting here on the extended Madhouse Radio Network.

I am Carl Leder, your host for the night.

Welcome.

We're going to do prank calls.

We're going to talk.

We're going to do shit.

We're going to have fun up until 1 o'clock in the morning Eastern Standard Time.

That's like 12, 11, 10, 10 p.m. PST.

Pacific by my calculations.

We'll wake people up.

We'll piss people off.

We'll call Indians motherfuckers in their own language.

We'll call Wendy's.

Just a bunch of shit.

All right.

Thanks for tuning in.

Man, am I happy to be on tonight.

Man, I missed you guys in the last seven days.

With me here as always is the Milkman.

Milkman, what is up, man?

Oh, hermanito.

Que fue, que fue.

Hey, man, it's so good to hear your melodious tone.

You're sounding rather jovial this evening,

and I know we're all going to enjoy what you have ready to present before us, my brother.

How you been doing, my friend?

Goddamn right.

I've been doing good, you know, trying to hang in there,

dealing with a lot of adversity, but doing good.

Well, you know what?

When there's adversity, remember, it's the guy you're calling's fault.

That's all you got to remember.

That's true.

I'm getting some echo here, man.

I don't know what's up with our connection here, but it keeps echoing back.

I tell them this in my head.

At some point, maybe I may have to ask Tommy.

But, regardless, we've got something great for all of you.

We're ready, we're prepared, we're going to carry out the duties.

And you are right here in the Madhouse April 6th tomorrow.

Join us, Marisha.

Yeah, please, do that. Join us.

Milkman is here. We're on different networks here.

We've got SyndicateRadio.tv in the house tonight.

What's up, Syndicate? Good to have you guys.

I've got the video sticking, working there for a change.

god damn it let the dogs out dino he did it dino let him out man dino's crazy dino raises

fucking pitbulls he moved to orlando and right before i moved from pennsylvania to pennsylvania

he said yo carlito come here we smoked a lot of weed we ordered pizza we had like three pizzas

extra cheese pepperoni and beef i was like dino you're crazy man and he's like fuck

he's like yo if i could yo i get like triple cheese on it all right cool man and dino's

He actually took Kraft Singles, man.

He took the fucking Kraft Singles and he put them on the pizza.

And then he put the pizza back in the oven and he left it in there for like another 10 minutes.

I'm telling you, man.

Insane.

And then he got drunk.

Dino's a crazy kid.

He got drunk.

He got into an argument with his wife.

He got drunk.

He was drinking that Dominican beer, Presidente.

He was drinking it with tomato juice.

and then he's he was showing me his dogs like yeah i raised these dogs to fight and he got

drunk and angry and he he um he let all the dogs loose in the neighborhood it was like

like a whole like a pack of 10 pitbulls was running through this neighborhood and like

the suburbs of orlando i was like dude you're crazy man what are you fucking nuts they don't

do that kind of thing down here in orlando he's like i don't care i'm well qualified he's well

all qualified in that department.

That's why we love T-Mobile.

Yeah, but man, there's something scary.

You ever seen a pack of dogs,

a wild pack of dogs roaming a neighborhood?

Another damn Michael Vick.

I know him better than that.

I know at least he's not no Michael Vick.

He doesn't beat him up, but he trains in the fight.

He loves his dogs,

but he got mad and drunk.

He was waving a gun around,

and he let his dogs loose

in the neighborhood. They were all driving around,

running around. They were knocking

Rocking over trash cans and they were chasing this kid and all this stuff.

Oh, my God.

Nuts.

Anyway, so I hope you guys are having a great night.

We're going to be taking your request over at madhouselive.com.

That's the main website for the show.

Request a prank, maybe.

Request a prank is there.

There's a form right there.

If you're listening for the first time or the second or third time and you still didn't fucking get it, that's how you do it.

You want to send a request, do it that way.

You can also send your requests to me via AOL or Yahoo Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio on AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger.

And if you're using MSN Messenger, MadhouseAtLive.com.

Skype will be open a little bit later in the show.

You can add Madhouse.Radio on Skype.

Again, that's Madhouse.Radio on Skype.

Add that.

I'll add you here.

and then towards about the halfway point of the show,

we'll put you on.

You know, we like to keep it simple at the beginning.

You know, I want to stick to...

Yeah, dude, he just needs to take

and make his mashed potato sandwich.

That's all during the middle of the show,

so we'll come right back.

We'll provide some good entertainment.

You can go out and get your beer

or take a peanut or whatever your choice is.

Man, well, let's get right into the prank calls.

Instead of bullshitting here, Lonesome's here early.

What's up, Lonesome?

Good to see you, brother, man.

Well, welcome and a long time ago, Angela.

Fat Boy's Pizza he sent in here.

Usually, as I said before, y'all know,

the first prank on the Madhouse episodes is usually a throwaway.

It's a warm-up.

I was listening to Fat Boy's today on Sirius on Backspin 43,

my favorite channel on Sirius Satellite Radio.

So maybe I'll just call and quote a Fat Boy's song.

Why not?

Fat Boy's Pizza, thanks for your delivery.

yes hey fat boys are back and you know they're back fat boys living with the fat boys fat boys

are back and you know they never be whack fat boys are back fat boys you know the song i'm

talking about no it's called fat boys are back i've never heard that song you know who chubby

checker was no he was hanging out with the fat boys there was um they were they did a album

them together i was like hey you know you know the song the twist yeah uh yeah the fat boys did

a version of the twist once one summer i was in puerto rico and it was a big hit down in puerto

rico yeah and then the fat boys got into a fight with chubby checker and they put uh forgot what

they put in his food i think they put like uh nitroglycerin in his food and he had a heart

attack they killed him on purpose that's crazy there's a documentary about it yeah the illuminati

was all involved in it and ashanti you know ashanti yeah yeah she died in the plane crash

yeah and the bilderberg group was there and crazy fucker from california was there that's interesting

write that down i like i don't have anything to write with hey here's another question my

friend dino he's crazy he wanted to order he said that some people ordered triple cheese on their

pizza you guys ever accommodate that i was hanging out with him and he got mad because

Because they didn't bring him...

They said they couldn't do triple cheese.

He was drinking Dominican beer.

And he said that most places do it up north.

CJ, have we ever done triple cheese?

No.

No?

You see what I mean?

That's what I told you.

I said, Dino, you're crazy, man.

And he's like, fuck that.

And he pulled out his gun.

He was waving his gun around.

Say that one more time.

Dino.

My friend Dino.

He started waving his gun around everywhere.

Because they didn't bring him triple cheese on his pizza.

Yeah.

All right.

Also, I did have one thing.

Hang on.

Let me get my list real quick.

quick i got one thing before i let you go uh my my friend billy had a 10 foot willy and he showed

it to the girl next door she thought it was a snake and hit it with the rake and now it's only

five foot four that's ridiculous that's all i got for you okay all right bye sweetie bye bye that's

okay that's that uh see like i said you know the first pranks usually throw away

turn on by the money though yeah god damn it thanks milkman thank you

Well, you got it right.

You got it right, man.

You got it right.

The romance, the tale.

Yeah.

Listen, guys, the Domino's Pizza, it's so sad that I know this,

Domino's Pizza has changed their online website ordering,

and it was good before.

They got a pizza tracker and everything, right?

And, you know, we've taken advantage of it on the show,

as has Brad and the Phone Losers and the Cacti Radio,

which we've got to talk about that in a second.

What happened with Brad?

Brad's in trouble.

Brad, you know Cacti Radio got shut down?

did you know that really when cacti radio got shut down the server got taken offline and everything

yeah it's gone oh my god man i mean i have been so busy man with a lot of personal stuff this

last couple weeks man i have not heard man when did this happen that's a long story i don't know

much of the story but apparently something happened and he got in trouble uh oh shit he

had been calling uh best buy in all these places uh getting phone numbers and they got onto him

And apparently, like, the Geek Squad forums were on to him.

Employees of Geek Squad.

Oh, hey-o.

Well, you know, I don't know.

I don't know if this is him.

We probably shouldn't talk about it over the air, you know, privately.

But really, I'm on the other side of the road to help this out.

I got his address.

Hang on.

Let me see.

Yeah.

Maybe email him and send him the address later.

They'll help us, and then you'll be able to get back here,

and hopefully, you know, at a better point in time.

2322 Vickers Drive.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Don't tell them, man.

Oh, oops, sorry.

Sorry, guys.

Yeah, I'll put it on the end, man.

We're on air right now.

Don't forget, man.

I'll do a few notes to him or text to him or something like that, man.

Just make sure he gets it.

We're one of the brothers who go down.

Yeah, but listen, hey, Domino's changed their ordering,

and you can actually order double and triple cheese on the pizza.

Yeah, you can.

And then we're right over.

It's like a call for Jack Masterson, man, a 480-pound stretcher.

Well, let me tell you something.

It tasted like crap.

The Indians at work ordered it, right, and they had a piece of it.

They ordered triple cheese, and then they added feta and cheddar cheese to it on top.

Yes.

And it didn't, uh-uh.

It wasn't good.

It was too much.

I didn't think you could put too much cheese in a pizza,

but it actually, the consistency of it and, like, the feeling that it had in the mouth,

It was this really, like, a gritty kind of feeling.

It was real.

I don't know if the feta did it.

Are they actually using real cheese, or are they using, like, cheese food, processed cheese spread, or cheese product?

You know, a lot of people don't realize, you know, those, like, wax pieces, that stuff they call cheese.

You look at the label, it says cheese food, processed cheese product, or it says, uh, what it is, it's just a whole bunch of oil.

You know, that you pour in your skillet like Crisco, mixed in with, like, whey, which is like the stuff that comes out of cheese.

Those that do not know how cheese is made.

No way.

And then they condense it and it solidifies into, like, a whey mix.

And then they sell it to you as cheese by adding, like, little flavorings and coloring to it.

All right.

Okay.

Or using their recipe now, like, you know, genuine cheese.

There you go.

Is that sure?

Sounds good.

Oil instead of cheese?

It is a little bit for this 15 minutes.

Oil instead of cheese.

There you go, Milkman.

Watch out.

Everyone, you got your warning from Milkman.

Ask for real cheese.

Listen, so that was FBI Steve made the request.

He said if any of the pranks aren't going anywhere,

he put a list of those dirty limericks on the Madhouse Forum.

Also be careful when they cut the cheese.

All right, Milkman, focus.

He put a list of dirty limericks for us to use tonight at the end of pranks.

If they're not going anywhere, and that was just one of them,

and I'll be choosing those.

Maybe I thought it would be funny when we do the UK wake-up calls later on

to do some of those that's always kind of funny but maybe at the end of a prank to do that uh but

hey here's another idea this will probably go nowhere uh but i was listening to one of my

favorite podcasts today i'm going to play this clip from it uh it's prank call related so y'all

should enjoy it god damn it uh there's a there's what okay there's a podcast i listen to it's

called uh risk r-i-s-k i've talked about it on the show before um it's by a comedian called

kevin allison he's been on a few shows i think he was a writer for snl at one point

um and he does a he does a podcast uh where they go and they have live performances every week

um all over the country and he has like uh comedians will say a true story a true funny

story sometimes they're not funny sometimes they're scary stories sometimes they're shocking

stories sometimes they're sad stories most of the time they're funny hilarious stories so he'll have

Tracy Ullman, Roseanne Barr, or Roseanne Arn, Roseanne Barr, that's her name now, et cetera,

et cetera. Um, he, uh, he had a guy, let me get the name here for you guys. He is a radio, uh,

a comedy radio, uh, show host named Ethan Ullman. And he told this story here of a silly prank call

thing that he had going on for months, uh, with Wendy's. And I actually tracked down, uh, the

The arm came through and tracked down the phone number for this particular Wendy's that he's harassed for a few years now, apparently.

We'll play the story first.

It's actually about nine minutes.

Sorry.

We'll play it first, and then after that, we're going to call.

We'll call this Wendy's, and we'll call some more.

I won't even tell you the title of it because it'll ruin it.

But I've been saying this line all day and laughing at it.

So here we go.

This is from the Risk Podcast.

Hey, how's it going? It's a great show. I just want to give a shout out to every performer so

far. This is really cool. All right. So my story starts a couple of years ago. A couple of friends

and I were driving past a Wendy's and I'm not going to say which Wendy's it is, but let's say

it's the one across the street from a college called Mudson Mallee Mumunity Mollage. So it's

me, Mike and Sarah. We're driving by and we noticed that the sign out front was broken.

and their neon sign it normally said old-fashioned hamburgers but it was broken so it said old

fashioned hambu and the word hambu just really resonated with us and and i came up with the

phrase y'all got hambu and y'all got hambu for the 15 minute ride home we were just saying it over

and over and over y'all got hambu y'all got hambu y'all got hambu and uh we decided that that y'all

got ham boo was just such an amazing phrase that it needed to be shared with the, the, the, with

Wendy's. So, um, so we got the phone number for Wendy's and, uh, I called them up and, uh, they're

like, hello, Wendy's, uh, y'all got ham boo. Excuse me. Y'all got ham boo. Click. Um, and it was just

really funny. So we kept doing it, uh, and we kept doing it over and over and over, um, multiple

times a day. Each of us were doing it on our own phones, and it was hilarious. It got to

the point where they knew what we were going to say. As soon as we said, y'all, they would

just hang up. But it was still hilarious. But we wanted to get the y'all got hambu out

of there. So we started calling up with different things first. So I'd call up and I'd say,

hi, Wendy's, how much is it for an extra slice of American cheese? Oh, y'all got hambu.

and they were not happy.

Hi, do you guys have veggie burgers?

No.

Y'all got hambu?

They were getting thoroughly pissed.

And then I thought it would be funny

if I asked them a more complicated question.

So I would call up and I'd say,

Hi, now how much sodium is in your large order of fries?

And they'd put the phone down

and three minutes would go by.

Obviously, they had to go in some handbook

and look it up.

Oh, now, y'all got Hambu?

And these people were getting really mad.

And it was just so funny.

We started telling our friends.

So, you know, three people calling a couple times a day turned into ten people calling 30 to 40 times a week.

They were getting really mad, and I thought it was time to move into phase two.

So phase two, at this point, they didn't know what we looked like.

They just were getting phone calls.

They didn't know what our car looked like.

So we waited until they closed the restaurant and just the drive-thru was open.

So we drive up slowly, and we order, like, a hamburger, french fries, a drink.

We drive through, and we pay the lady.

She hands us the food, and I say to her, I'm like, you know, I used to work in fast food.

I know how difficult it is at night, and, you know, it's really fast.

I love you guys, so here, I handed her a folded-up dollar bill.

She smiled, she took it, she thanked me.

But little did she know, before we folded up that dollar bill in a Sharpie, I wrote, y'all got Hambu.

So we know what's coming.

And we were just slowly driving past, staring at her.

You know, she's happy.

She's got a little extra pep in her step.

And she's just smiling.

And we see her unfold the dollar bill.

And she just tenses up.

And she's right next to the counter.

She palms the counter.

She leaps over the counter.

lands on her feet, runs to the door.

She makes eye contact with me.

And she's just banging and yelling.

We couldn't hear what she was saying.

So how this restaurant is set up,

you have to drive all the way around the restaurant again to get out.

So we obviously pick up the gas.

We start driving faster.

And by the time we pass the drive-through window,

her and two other employees are wedged out of the window.

Ah, screw you guys! Ah, phew!

Screaming at us.

That was hilarious to us.

And we continued the phone calls.

But their responses, instead of just hanging up, they would stay on the phone, and they got vicious.

One person was like, yeah, I just banged your mom last night.

Another guy told me he wished I would get AIDS and die.

It was getting quite vicious.

And after about another week of those kind of calls, we decided it was time for phase three.

So we went to a grocery store, and we got a day-old birthday cake, and we got a frosting gun.

And my friend Sarah, she wrote on it, y'all got hambu.

So we waited for the restaurant to close, so just the drive-thru was open.

And we waited, you know, so they would just be at the drive-thru.

We parked a little bit further away, and I snuck up, and I put the birthday cake right outside the exit.

exit. And I snuck back and we went and we parked in this parking lot that was kind of overlooking

so we could still see in, we could see the people. And I called them up and I acted all, I was very

nervous. I acted nervous. So hi, I just got home. I was at your restaurant and I can't find my

wallet anywhere. Did you guys find a wallet? I think I might've left it there. And she's very

nice. She's like, I'm sorry, sir. And we haven't found anything. Let me go talk to a couple

employees. We see her put the phone down. She walks in the back and she's obviously asking some

employees. She comes back. You know, no one saw anything. It's not in the lost and found. You know,

I'm really sorry, sir. I was like, you know, I was sitting near the soda fountain. Maybe it's

underneath the booth I was sitting at. And she's like, well, let me go check. We see her go over.

She kind of like glances under. She gets on her hands and knees and she starts like reaching

around looking for it. She comes back and she's like, sir, you know, I just looked and I know we

We swept earlier.

No one found anything.

I'm really sorry.

I don't think your wallet's here.

And I said, well, jeez, you know, like I've got money in there.

I've got my credit cards.

I've got my driver's license.

Man, oh, you know what?

I keep my wallet in the same pocket that I keep my car keys.

Maybe when I took my keys out of my pocket in the parking lot, my wallet fell out.

And she's like, oh, well, I can go check.

So she puts the phone down, and we see her like kind of walking to the door.

and then she notices out of the glass door

that there's something.

She kind of like stops and kind of walks out

and she leans down and she sees the cake

and she reads it.

She kicks it, runs over to the phone.

Fuck you, motherfucker, you piece of shit,

you hamboob bullshit,

going to deal with this shit all the time.

Screaming at me.

I have to give it up for my friends

because they were, it was on speaker

and they were silent the whole time.

We just burst out laughing

and we could see her just flipping out,

throwing stuff.

it was amazing and so we get we toned it down after that but we still we called a

little bit but it eventually kind of died off and and we stopped calling and

we kind of lost interest in it and then I'd say a couple months later I get a

phone call from my friend Sarah she goes my friend is working at Wendy's I knew

what she was talking about and I'm like okay she's like are you sitting down

I'm like, no. So sit down. So I sat down and apparently her friend is now working at the

Wendy's. And although we haven't called them in months, they're still getting calls about y'all

got ham. And it turns out that it just, it resonated with them so much that on their days

off, they call in to fuck with the people who are working there. So this legacy. And I think the

The greatest part about the whole thing is that they never knew why we were saying it.

It was from the broken sign.

And I know a newspaper, when President Obama came to speak, they actually criticized Wendy's for not having a working sign.

But they have fixed it.

The sign is fixed.

It says old-fashioned hamburgers once again.

But I still call them every once in a while.

So when I get them on the phone, I go, y'all got hambu-urgers?

thank you guys yay big deal all right so uh yes that's from the risk it's risk risk dash show yes

risk dash show.com that is the website that that came from um his delivery is a little weak uh but

i thought it had its funny parts where he talks about continuously calling and bothering them and

saying hey y'all got hambu y'all got hambu for a long time uh so i was able to track down with the

the help of the arm able to track down the phone number for this shit uh let me see oh shit i put

in the wrong one god oh no no no i have a way to do this i have a way to do this hang on let me play

well let me pull this up here here we go there we go i don't know how long ago this guy was doing

this or when the most the most recent time is that this guy did that the whole hambu thing uh but let

Let me see if I can get a hold of that place.

I've got the number here.

Here we go.

Milkman, were you able to hear that at all?

You're saying you're getting an echo and all that.

Do you need me to call you again?

Are you still getting an echo and all that shit?

No, I only heard myself just a couple times, but that sounds good.

No, I got it, man.

That was a good try, man.

You know, hey, man.

Well, no pause, dude, man.

You may get out there with the big boys.

Sounds like you're in the toilet again.

Before we go, right?

Milkman's out of town visiting family.

and uh yeah there will be no madhouse show next week i'll explain that in a moment milkman don't

let me forget because i always forget when i have to not do a show the next week i'm up here in

alaska dude man it's fucking cold but i may have to go out it's cold already it's cold in alaska

scotland how many hi wendy's yes i had a question how much is how much does it cost if i were to

get a hamburger how much do you charge per extra piece of cheese like if i wanted to get double

cheese let's say 32 cents 30 and oh do you guys do you have hambu y'all got hambu yep how many

how much is hambu yeah i think she's used to it i don't know i've i wonder if a lot of people

been doing this already all that's set up for that stupid shit let's set up for all that for

that what a waste of time milkman i got more wendy's here though we'll stick with a hambu

stupid shit i guess they're used to it there here's the other wendy's yes you all got hambu

pardon you don't have hambu handle hambu stupid why is the radio so loud i can barely hear you

well if you turn off turned on the stupid fucking radio you think about maybe you turn on the stupid

radio why do you have the radio on at work why there's no radio on the floor who am i speaking

with this is cross there's no radio at work on the floor when there's when the store is open

and you're not supposed to have the radio on.

You understand?

Okay, and what can I do for you?

First thing, I want you to apologize because the radio was on.

Pardon?

I want you to apologize because the radio was on.

Apologize because the radio was on?

Yeah, I want you to apologize because the radio was on.

I don't have a radio on.

It was on before I heard a radio.

I have a headset going.

I heard music and singing.

Maybe from the car and the drive-thru.

Can you please ask them not to turn the radio on

when they're coming to the drive-thru when I'm talking on the phone?

Yes, but what can I get for you?

That wasn't a car radio.

No, the radio in the car doesn't sound like that so loud.

And people turn their radios down when they get...

I'm going to apologize.

I'm extremely busy right now.

All right.

Can you tell me if you have Hambu?

Have handles?

Hambu.

Here, talk to this man and see what he's saying, because I don't.

Yes, sir.

How are you doing?

First of all, the radio is on.

Why is the radio on there when I'm calling?

Radio?

Yeah, there was a radio with music playing really loud.

Oh, that was the customer that was on the drive-thru?

And why did they have the radio on?

The radio must have been on when she was trying to talk to you because her headset is right next to the phone.

Why was the radio on?

In the customer's car.

There's no music when you're ordering.

You're not supposed to have music on.

Oh, the customer that had the radio on, they were in the drive-thru.

And you think it's right that the customer had a radio on?

No.

Is the customer still there?

I'm not sure.

Can you please tell them to turn the radio down?

Okay.

We will.

Sorry about that.

And is it raining right now?

I work in the back, sir.

What do you do in the back?

I'm checking right now.

No, it's not raining.

All right.

All right, when it rains, we need to ask them not to turn the wipers on also

because it gets the people wet in the drive-thru.

It gets the people wet?

Yeah, when they go to get the money, when they pay, if the wipers are on, they get wet.

Uh-huh.

Oh, okay, yeah, we can do that, no problem.

Y'all got ham-boo?

I'm sorry?

Y'all got ham-boo.

Ham-boo?

Yes.

Hamburgers?

Ham-boo.

I'm sorry, sir, I don't...

I apologize about that.

It's hard to understand you.

We have a bunch of stuff going on in the back.

You have a lot of radios on and a lot of noise and people talking.

That's why.

Well, it's kind of rude.

Why do people have the radio on so loud?

There's no radio on.

I heard a radio music when I first called in.

Well, yeah, she had her headset on, and then through the drive-thru, she's on table,

so she has to hear what they're ordering to get the food out in time.

She had her headset on?

Well, yeah, she has to.

Yeah, because she's required to have her iPod turned on with her headset in it?

No, no, her headset to take orders on the drive-thru?

How rude.

Well, we're required to, sir.

It doesn't matter if you're required to or not.

It doesn't matter if she's not dealing with the customer face-to-face,

if she's just taking the order from the drive-thru.

She shouldn't be playing music on her headset listening to music.

There's no...

The music was coming from the car in the drive-thru.

She doesn't have a headset on, like, iPod or anything.

It's a headset that we take orders with.

Is it a Microsoft unit?

And it was a car in the drive-thru.

That doesn't make any sense because the people in the car know

that you can't they can't hear you you can't hear them if the radio is on all right don't you have

a volume button there to also to stop that from happening hold on one moment here okay kind of

silly we'll call them back rice that's loud good god i just i didn't even hang up it's mute good

god milkman you there still your ears okay i think we even lost milkman in that process geez

anyway well let's call an indian place real quick this is the katmandu kitchen indian guy answered

are there, we'll ask them for Bonshooter and Hambu.

Let's do it, guys. If you have any

requests... Oh, we do have quite a few requests

of pranks that came in

leading up to the show. We'll get to those.

Sorry about that noise, guys. Sorry about

the fax. What does Wendy's need a fax

machine anyway? Another complaint I need to give.

Tell them what the fax in my

order to Wendy's. I'm in your kitchen.

This is Shawna. How can I help you? Yes, hello.

Well, there was an

Indian guy I was talking to before, I think.

Okay, probably. Did you have an order

in? Well, I'm speaking to the Indian

Indian Man. Okay, I can help you. No, this is for the Indian Man only. Just a second,

did you have a delivery or a takeout order? It's a private. Tell him Mr. Ulu is on the

line. Hang on a second. Hello? Yes, this is Indian Man. Who? This is the Indian Man.

Indian Man? This is the Indian Man. Indian Man? Yes. Go ahead. Are you the Indian? Say

again? Are you the Indian Man? Okay, go ahead, man. All right, go ahead. Yeah, that's what

what i'm asking this is the indian man yeah all right um wanted to see about making that order

please one minute your phone number please let's see five three zero okay nine two eight nine two

eight one minute god damn it one minute my computer is not working right now one minute

damn it shit damn it nine two eight okay nine six eight eight nine eight eight okay yeah so

let's make an order for one order of papadums pick up okay one papadums okay uh-huh

One tandoori chicken.

Okay.

One hambu.

Say again?

One hambu.

I don't have a sister.

Do you have bhenchod?

Say again?

Bhenchod?

No.

Do you have matarchud?

No.

Do you have a sister?

You don't have a sister?

No.

You do have a sister.

No.

Come on.

I know what you mean.

What, do you have a sister?

I want bhenchod.

No.

Yeah, come on.

Sister for me.

No, man.

Tell me, what about you?

You like to kiss?

You like kissing?

Say again?

You like kissing?

No.

What are you talking about? I don't understand.

You said you know what I mean, now you say you don't know what I mean.

Are you stupid?

No, man.

Are you stupid?

I am working at the restaurant.

I just do name the dishes, so I understand all the dishes.

Not bad, so it's my job, you know?

You know your brother...

So you like to order the food, or you like to...

Yeah, why did you say a bad word to me?

What's that about?

Well, that's it.

I'll keep him on.

We'll call the other Indian, please.

Hey.

Hey, next time, I think you're going to have a sister, not a brother.

I think they do have shit there.

Shit food.

We'll keep them on the background.

You want food or...

I think I have a friend in the news, by the way, folks.

I want a shit.

We don't have brother.

Hello?

Sitar Indian Cuisine?

Yes, Sitar Indian Cuisine.

Yes.

Oh, really?

Good, I'd like to make an order, please.

Hello?

That's funny.

I'd like to make an order, please.

Okay.

Like one order of papadums.

Okay.

All right.

One order of tandoori chicken.

Okay.

How many pieces do you want?

Four.

Four pieces.

Uh-huh.

And what size do you want it with?

What?

What size do you want it with?

Large.

And what size do you want it with?

It comes with two sides.

Large size.

I want one size large and a second size medium.

It comes with two sides.

Lentils, yogurt, fries, rice, and salad.

Yeah, I'd like one large and one medium.

Just a minute, sir.

You said size.

No, size.

Size, yes.

S-I-Z.

Size.

S-I-D-E-S.

Sir?

Did you say S-H-I-T?

So stupid.

Hello?

Yeah, that guy's stupid.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, four pieces.

One medium size and one large size.

Yes, I want one.

Salad, lentil beans, and then also one hambu.

Hambu.

Do you have hambu?

Four pieces of chicken, salad, and dough.

Uh-huh, and one bhenchod?

Bhenchod.

Uh-huh.

We don't have that.

Do you have sister?

What's that?

Do you have a sister?

Sister?

Yes.

What are you talking about?

You know when your mother opened her vagina and a sister came out, a girl came out, your sister?

Do you know how that happens?

Yes, sir.

Did a donkey come out instead?

Did a donkey?

Did your mother give birth to a donkey?

What happened?

Okay.

Is your father a donkey?

Is that what's going on here?

Okay, sir.

Someone here is a donkey.

It's either you, your sister, or your mother, or yourself.

Okay, so give me the order.

I want one order of papadums, four pieces of tandoori chicken, okay, one sister.

You want a salad and dal.

Uh-huh, one sister.

One sister, okay.

Uh-huh, one banjood.

Banjood, okay.

Uh-huh, one tera marilan.

Okay, so you want just that order, four pieces of chicken and the order of papadum?

Yeah, then you have a toilet.

and uh you don't have a toilet there okay hey i had nothing okay listen toilet man you have

roast beef can we get roast beef what's so funny about that milkman roast beef what's that supposed

to mean well it's delicious from an indian restaurant that's horrible i know what you mean

that's funny yeah very funny hey you know what else is funny hey look let's try that next time

it depends don't get them man try to try the roast beef or a steak or something like that

Yes, hi, I wanted to talk about your order there that I wanted to make.

Okay.

I want a cow.

I want to kill the cow in front of you and carve up the cow.

Nice.

Okay, cool.

And I want you to see the cow die.

Yeah, all right.

In front of you.

Yeah, cool.

And then I'm going to piss on, I'm going to pee on the cow.

I'm going to piss on the cow.

Yeah, good.

And I'm going to take the blood from the cow.

I'm going to bathe myself.

Is that what you wanted, Milkman?

is that what you want to be dirty nasty is that what you want dirty nasty prank call there you go

that's cool yeah cool cool kill it yeah i was talking to my co-workers are indian they say not

all of them do that cow thing it's just the the super religious ones i saw one of them eating a

hamburger i was like what are you doing eating a hamburger he's like oh i eat i eat beef like what

it's like yeah i eat beef he's good he's yeah i think he went to mcdonald's actually he's like

He's like, I eat beef.

But I don't eat, he doesn't eat pork.

I don't like pork, but I eat beef.

Okay.

Is moon Indian?

Yes, sir.

Moon Indian food.

I'd like to make an order, please.

Yes, sir.

Yes, I want to bring a cow there.

What can we do with the cow?

Who?

The cow.

Cow?

A cow.

You know what a cow is?

No.

A cow is the animal that goes moo, you know?

Yeah.

You don't use cow.

I wanted to kill the cow, and I want you to watch me kill the cow.

No.

Yeah, you want to watch?

No.

Why not?

Can I make an order for papadums then?

Papadums?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

And one tandoori raj.

What?

Tandoori raj.

Papadums?

Uh-huh.

Hello, Mr. Stupid.

Hello?

Yes, hi.

Who is this?

Can I take your order?

Are you an Indian?

Yes.

Okay, let's make an order for papadums.

Okay.

One bhenchod.

Sorry?

One bhenchod.

God damn it.

Come on.

I should have used a bhenchod on the guy first, early on.

It would have been good.

Hello?

Yes, I'd like to make an order for papadums, please.

Excuse me?

One order of papadums.

Okay.

One bhenchod.

What?

One bhenchod.

What do you mean?

Bhenchod.

Okay.

Okay, one madrachud.

Are you a bhenchod?

No, you are.

Are you a madrachud?

No, no.

Are you a gandu?

Hey, hey, gandu.

What do you mean, gandu?

I know what that means.

Yeah, and why do you say that?

That I'm making an order.

Yeah, this is not order.

Yes, it is.

I have it on the paper here, things to order, Indian food.

No, this is not Indian food.

It's Indian.

My friend's Indian.

He said to order these things for him.

Yeah, it's not Indian food.

He said here, it's on the papers.

It says Indian food, bhenchod.

Okay.

So what do you need?

I need one order of ulu.

Okay.

One gandu.

Okay.

One sister.

Okay.

Okay, and now your sister, is she a cow or what is your sister?

so come in i show you uh-huh come here front i give you your ass okay can i kiss your sister

for you in front of you would you like that okay please don't call us here if you want call just

give me your number you know no this is you're so stupid you don't know how to do a job because

i'm making an order stupid this is not order how can i take the order this is not order

okay one you're doing too much bullshit okay hey don't say shit to me ulu okay you stupid monk

You son of a dog.

Listen, I'd like one order of tandoori chicken.

Okay.

Tandoori.

Okay.

Uh-huh.

And then one, what's the one?

Milkman.

My friend Milkman wants to order.

Milkman, what do you want?

I'd like a steak done extra rare.

And maybe, could you fix me a hamburger, please?

Black onions and tomato.

I'll hold the mayo.

He's gone.

He's getting upset, and that's good.

Karen's leaving to come back next week.

Bye, Karen, stupid bitch.

Hello?

Yes, hi, stupid bitch.

I'm calling back.

Oh, shut up, okay?

Huh?

Don't call us here, okay?

Please.

Take my order, you stupid asshole.

I don't have the order, okay?

I don't give you the order.

I mean, you call to somewhere other, okay?

We don't give the order, okay?

Go take a shit.

Okay, please don't call us.

Please, okay?

Go take a shit, okay?

Okay.

That's all you're good for.

Bye.

Hey, Lonesome, do you remember?

Lonesome, if you're listening right now, if you're not confirming a number, do you remember?

What's the place that I called?

didn't I call last week and some guy kept

Karen I was kidding I'm sorry

I love you Karen I was just kidding

Karen you stupid

thank you Karen

what was the place we called last week where the guy got real upset

do you remember that milkman didn't he like

say what did he say he said that

Americans all we do is eat potato chips

what the fuck

do you remember that

all you do is eat potato chips

he got all

all you do is

eat potato chips, and

what did he say? Drink Diet Pepsi?

He said, all we do is drink Diet Pepsi

and eat potato chips.

Drink Diet Coke.

Fucking asshole.

I'd have to look at the logs

and see if I can remember who that was

last week. That guy was hilarious, man.

Well, here we are with

Prank Calls, of course.

This is Madhouse Radio, MadhouseLive.com,

SyndicateRadio.tv.

We're on Blue Planet

Prank Radio also, BluePlanetPrankRadio.com.

and uh for the time being we're on cacti because i am able to take control of the cacti stream but

the server has been taken down uh as a preemptive kind of a i don't know a brad's worried brad's

worried he had to take the server down i've had quite a few people excuse me since wednesday

morning asking what happened and i told them told them hey guys i don't know these are pretty

Pretty shocking developments in the world, too, man.

We only wish the best for them.

And make sure you send that as a PM or, you know, a private email or something to give us our lawyer's reference.

I don't know.

Brad called me and said, hey, Carlito, you know how to make thermite?

And I said, yeah, Brad, you got to.

I looked up the.

I went on Google.

Google.

I Googled it.

And, yeah, man, Brad, that's the best way to, you know, you need to magnetize, demagnetize the hard drives and then use thermite.

he said alright I'm gonna do that

I haven't talked to him since then guys

I don't know everything I just know that he was concerned

and he had to take his shit down

before I forget

next week no show Milkman

because I'm gonna be

resting up Friday next Friday

which is the 17th

I am going to be having another eye surgery

in the morning

wow wow wow man

wow wow wow

we'll be okay we'll live for a week

yeah

we all want to get better man

and we'll have the best for you man

pray and pray

and everything will turn out

even better for you man

even better

no worries

we'll hold you

the militia's got your back brother

I can only see better

because I'm already blind

my right eye is blind

so the

it's not a big deal

it's not an emergency

it's planned surgery

it's just

finally getting it done

I just want to get it over with

so hopefully I can see a little more

out of this right eye

this one here

that I'm winking at you right now

that I can't see out of right now

it's all cloudy

um i'm gonna have eye surgery uh friday morning so next thursday the 16th next uh week no show

because i'm going to be rusting up i have uh surgery another thing is i won't be smoking

cigars next week because um cigars do affect your eyes tobacco and all that they raise your blood

pressure etc so i'm going to be laying off the cigars and all that stuff they even told me i

can't take um i can't take i take a lot of supplements man nope when you had me taken

and pine tree,

pine bark extract for my eyes

and grapeseed extract and all that stuff.

Ignoginol. They told me, don't take any

of that. Really? For a week.

They said, don't take it. Oh, lay off of it.

Lay off of it. Lay off of it for a week.

Well, that's good, though, man.

That's what you gotta do, bro, man.

I hope they're not gonna make you

lay down and do that cone

position thing again. Oh, Milkman,

we should talk about this.

So we're gonna do a show together, right?

In person, in the flesh, we're going to hang out together.

Me and you, we're looking at the first week of September.

It's funny enough, it's going to be me.

I'm going to be hanging out with Milkman on the West Coast.

I'm going to make a trip out there.

Big Andy is going to try to make the trip also, man.

Are you ready?

It's going to be the freaking old school crew.

You and Andy have had words for each other before.

You fought before, argued quite a bit, remember?

so i don't know what's gonna happen between you guys hopefully you guys are all right but i'm

excited i'm excited about it you know version one was good version 1.1 will be even better there you

go that's good we're gonna we're gonna see if it besides that man i need i need some lessons on

how to share a few years quick as he does yeah so as as long as there is no complication with

next week's surgery where i have a have a problem with the eye they already told me

if if something happens there's there's a one in ten chance something will go wrong with the

surgery and if that's the case i'm not going to be allowed to fly uh because of the air pressure

changes on a plane you can't put extra stress on the eye because what'll happen is if all right

so the worst case scenario that could happen to the fucking gay eye that i have my gay right eye

my piece of shit eye um i would uh end up having to have um like nitrogen gas injected in the eye

and that would make me make it so i can't fly for like two months so then we would have to

cancel the trip which is why i have not booked plane tickets yet too much oh goodness i didn't

realize that i knew it was bad oh lord yeah no man you know why yeah that i'd always can wait

man i mean your health's gotta come but we only want you to get better yeah yeah but i'm sure it

all worked out mean willie green's in the syndicate chat room what's this shit mean willie green i'm

carlito all right i do radio show it's called madhouse we do prank calls and we're stupid

we're assholes all right we're stupid shits apparently according to most of you people

uh if you don't like it log off if you don't like it i would suggest unregistering your uh

screen name on stick cam and not coming back ever again and complain to dino

complain because dino needed money for syndicate he needed money to start syndicate again

and i lent him several thousand dollars and he knows that he needs uh i have to be on syndicate

for at least uh we have a contract as a matter of fact he faxed it over to me two weeks ago

and he signed it and i signed it milkman you went over it also and dr lego went over it approved it

that's right approved it so that's what happened so i don't want any bullshit i don't want any

bullshit from any of you over there in syndicate i'm watching the chat room i've got someone in

there now you don't know who he is but he's on the inside and he will write you up he will write

all of you up you will all get written off yeah yeah exactly so yeah i mean we'll agree is he

getting private servers we're working on it we're working on it we're trying to we're trying to get

a deal there's a jew a jewish guy named pete in long island who has a server farm and he's trying

to get that to work out chuck detroit says i'm not the boss of him uh chuck detroit i'm running

any uh milkman write him write that down that name chuck underscore detroit okay write that down

okay detroit detroit the the blemish of the united states of america uh when you think about what's

wrong with america you think about the city of detroit everyone does chuck detroit okay

first thing comes to my mind like what's the first thing that comes to my mind you're still

there and why and why would you want to uh associate yourself with a city like that if i

lived in detroit i wouldn't even put that i will put chuck miami or something i'll put chuck

Chuck Michigan before I put Chuck Detroit.

That's just me, Milkman.

How about your Chuck government subsidiary?

Yeah, and Milkman, you're from Michigan originally.

You wouldn't associate yourself with Detroit.

I used to, but I would never claim that now officially.

So we'll just say that was a mythical reference.

Yeah, yeah.

It's embarrassing to say I'm from Michigan, man.

That means that you've got a big problem.

You've got a general defect.

Your dick hangs off your shirt collar.

Dozer says Flint is way worse.

Yeah, I guess Flint, Michigan is worse.

God, you never really hear about Flint, Michigan.

Maybe that's a good...

Oh, no.

Flint doesn't take the armpit award over Detroit, man.

Detroit's falling far.

All right, we got a lot of numbers to get here.

So let's start getting them.

Let's call another Indian place.

Oh, here we go.

We got the Indian place from last week, Milkman.

Yes, the Indian and Pakistani restaurant.

This is where the guy went off for about 20 minutes

about how all Americans do is eat potatoes

and drink Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi.

Let's go ahead and...

You don't have a key to help me.

I have it here.

Here, Lonesome just sent it in, and we'll call it.

Oh, my God, thank you.

This is definitely worth it.

What's

What's with the

send?

Your breach is

temporarily unavailable.

Please try again later.

didn't pay their bill oh my oh my exactly right right lonesome check that number but it doesn't

seem to be up anymore and maybe maybe they went into business because the guy's a jerk maybe he

was just pissed off that he knew this that was his last week open uh what's with the simpsons

joke syndicate why do i look like a simpsons character what's so funny piss jug remembers

me hey big girl thank you piss jug piss jug is a friend milkman put a star next to piss jug's name

okay thank you what is it again what what uh piss jug gets a gold star he gets a star

there you go please two gold stars for piss jug all right look at that piss jug man two gold stars

you're ahead on the board tonight good for you man all right listen hard god man that's gonna

be hard for other people to beat all right we got a different uh tendery place here indian food

we suspect oh she don't we'll forget we got requested pranks is also man of course we'll

be calling uk the uk pretty soon also gold stars yes hi i'd like to make an order for stupid indian

food to go for hell huh to hell what to go for hell you go to hell okay yes hi is it okay if i

bring my black friend to the restaurant sorry is it okay if i bring my black friend to the

restaurant to come restaurant yes black man yes he's a black i can't go to you sir huh i can't

go to you sir he's an owl sorry an owl he's a black owl black owl yes okay can i make an order

please for pickup stupid yes pick up the other guys told me to go to hell why you want to deliver

the food no i want to go pick it up i'm going to eat there on the floor you want to pick up

the food your food yeah and i eat it there too do you have a place to eat the food there

How many you are?

I am one person, myself.

I am one person only.

Okay, you can come.

I have a penis and two testicles.

Hmm?

Okay.

You like that one.

All right.

Ready?

Ready.

I'd like one tandoori chicken.

One tandoori chicken.

I want a medium.

Sorry?

Medium.

Medium?

Uh-huh.

What's medium?

One hambu.

I'm busy, please.

I can't go to you.

No, please.

Please?

Yes.

Please take my order?

Yeah, I'll take your order.

One tandoori chicken and another one.

Do you have hambu?

Hambu? We don't have hambu.

You don't have hambu. Do you have maruchud?

No, I don't have anything like this.

Bhenchod?

No, no.

And the sister? Any sister?

No, sorry.

Is your mother the donkey there?

No, no. Hang up really fast.

What was he talking about?

He's like, brother?

I'm busy. I cannot...

I reeled him right back in.

Oh, don't please.

That was the poor man. Mass, folks.

Oh, suck my dick, milkman.

Hello?

Yes, hi.

Yes, I'm smart, okay.

Yeah.

One tandoori chicken?

Yes.

One order of papadums?

No, we don't have papadum.

No? Do you have lawn bread?

Sorry?

Lawn bread?

Lawn bread, yes.

Okay, I'd like five lawn bread.

Five lawn bread.

Uh-huh, okay.

I'd like a steak, medium rare.

Sorry?

Do you have steak?

No, we don't have steak.

Can I, what if I bring the cow?

Can I kill the cow in front of you?

Don't do that, please.

How about a little esteemed clan smothering in beef curtains?

Fine.

He picks up.

It hangs up.

We'll call him back.

All right.

We got the Barwarachi Indian Cuisine here.

Let's call them.

We can ask them about the caste system, Milkman.

You know that?

They got a caste system.

Oh, yeah.

And four.

Very controversial thing.

It was outlawed long ago.

Oh, I don't trust.

I don't trust the law of membership.

14 Restaurant?

Yes.

Hi.

Where on the caste system is this place on?

Yes.

What do you mean by that?

Well, you know you have your high caste members, you have your Dalits at the bottom.

Brahmin is a fire.

Yes, hi. I only take orders, I only give orders to people who are Kashitira or Brahmin. Is that you?

What do you mean? What do you mean? Sir, please, speak. I'm in the kitchen. There were a lot from the kitchen. Speak slowly. What do you mean?

Are you Sudra?

Huh?

Are you a Sudra or higher?

Sir, where do you call for the Bochi Indian kitchen?

What?

There's a bocce in the kitchen.

There's a bocce in the kitchen?

Bocce.

There's an Indian restaurant.

Yeah, but I want to make sure that you're not a Sudra.

You're a Vaishya or something higher than that.

Just outside the kitchen, please.

I'm not in the kitchen.

Shut up.

Tell him to shut up.

Hold, please, and come outside the kitchen.

Please.

Hey, close the landing, okay?

Close the landing.

No, no, no.

Close the door.

Yes, please, sir.

I can help you.

Bhenchod.

Listen, why are they making so much noise?

Samosa.

Huh?

Do you need a samosa?

Well, I want to make sure that you're not, are you Sudra or are you higher than Sudra?

Higher.

So you come here, talk to me.

I never talk to the phone for the higher people, okay?

Well, listen, I want to make it, I want to make it.

You come in my restaurant, talk to me, okay?

I don't want to make an order.

You are not a very busy person, I know, okay?

Stupid.

I have one single second for you.

You stupid.

You need some job, come in my place, talk to me on the phone, okay?

Bhenchod.

Stupid Bhenchod monkey.

Okay, so you sit at my table.

Bye-bye.

Shut your mouth.

I guess that's still a contentious point there, Milkman.

man, when he figured out what I was talking about.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, exactly.

You know, especially if you're a lower class.

Yes.

Are you a Dalit?

Is that what's wrong?

Sir, I told you before, you come in my restaurant, some shop, come in my restaurant,

give me a full buy-off after you talk to me, give me application, okay?

I don't know what you're talking about, you stupid monkey.

Listen, I just want to make it clear.

Hey, man.

Yes.

Hey, man.

Stop with your language.

Never call me more here.

Bye.

never call me again

bye

on the center spot

you may have to

exploit this further

yes

I'd like to make

an order please

never call me again

please

just one order

stupid

asshole

he sounds Punjabi

man

he sounds like

he's a Punjab

he's not happy

I think he's

an untouchable

alright

yeah

well

you know

I would say

probably your odds

of getting a Punjabi

is probably

on the order

of 90%

you can make fun

of Sikhs

shitting in their turbans

because that is

a very secret

you ask them

to cut their hair

if he's a

if he's a Sikh

that is

that's how they

that's a sin

you never say

something like that

to them

what

that they're monkeys

or that you shit

in the hair

or something

no no no

the Sikh

the religion

is

and they cut their hair

and never cut it

and that's why

they wrap them turbans

around the top

of their head

so you know

if you mock them

for their turbans

shitting in their turban

or tell them

to cut their hair

that's why they got

the real long beards

and shit

and never cut that

So it's against their religion.

And the Punjabis, they don't see that, man.

Yeah, those Punjabis, you know, they're everywhere.

And when they move into a neighborhood, the property values just go down.

I know exactly where you're at.

You know, Bollywood is Punjabi.

Right?

Bollywood is Punjabi.

I know exactly what you're talking about.

Thank you.

Yes, hello.

I'd like to make an order, please.

Yes.

Yes, I'd like to.

Well, first of all, do you have kimchi fried rice?

We don't.

We don't have kimchi fried rice.

Do you have fried rice?

do you have any rice at all we don't you don't have rice do you have noodles then we don't we

have just the white rice i just asked you if you had rice stupid yes okay so you do have rice

yeah we do how many rices do you come with one order just one just one grain of rice yes how

many how much does it weigh hold on one second please shut up yes hi hi would you like to make

Yes, for the rice.

And how long after I eat the rice until I have to take a shit in the toilet?

I mean, probably a couple hours.

I don't know.

Does it take that long?

Yeah.

Is there anything you can add to this?

No.

Do you have bananas?

No.

No?

Yeah.

Yeah or no?

No, we don't.

Oh.

Do you ride bananas?

Say again?

What he said.

I did not hear what you said.

Milkman, what did you say?

Oh, do you ride bananas?

Hello?

Yeah, do you ride bananas?

I'm sorry, I think you're cutting off.

I don't understand what you're saying.

I'm not cutting off.

No, you cut me off.

Wow, she cut me off.

What a bitch.

Milkman, what was your question?

Do you ride bananas?

What?

Yeah.

Okay.

All right, there you go.

Guys, do you ride?

Just put the visual together, man.

A chick, a banana, she hops on and takes a ride.

Woo-hoo!

There you go.

All right.

A real powerful person can feel that banana without using their fingers.

All right.

Imagine what that does to you.

Let's call that angry Indian guy.

I think this is the right one that we called a few minutes ago.

See if he picks up.

I think this is the right one.

Shit.

Hello, the restaurant.

Yeah, so let's make an order, please.

Yes.

Do you have any bhenchod there?

Have what?

Bhenchod.

I can't understand what you're saying, sir.

Is there bhenchod there?

No, sir.

We don't have that.

Oh.

Are you Indian?

No.

You're what?

Hello?

What are you?

I'm Pakistani, sir.

Huh?

I'm Pakistani.

You're Pakistani?

Yeah.

Oh, that's stupid.

Cool.

That's very stupid of you.

All right, that's cool.

To be a Pakistani and be in there.

Oh, all right.

Yeah.

You want to come touch my dick now?

No, never touch that nasty devil people's dick.

Yeah, nasty bastard.

You can send your mom.

Send your mom.

I'll give her a fucking dick that she never had before.

Did you know...

Fucking piece of shit.

Did you know...

What the fuck?

A fucking piece of shit.

Did you know Muhammad...

Come here and talk to me.

I'm talking.

Come here and talk to me.

Allow me to talk.

I command you to let me talk.

Stupid.

I'll fuck your mom.

If you were a man, you'd let me talk.

I'll cut her titties off, and I'll fucking put that shit in your fucking mouth, you fucking stupid bitch.

Come here, fucking faggot.

So what are you, you're Mexican, is it?

Fucking pussy-ass bitch.

You fucking pussy-ass bitch.

Fucking pain calling.

Fuck you.

Are you done?

Yeah.

Just stupid.

Let me talk, right?

At least let me talk.

Take a sausage in his ass.

That guy was all over the place.

He got angry.

Nothing.

Yeah, I was trying to do the whole thing about Muhammad,

where you make fun of Muhammad because it's a big insult to them, but he wasn't...

Tom's got a Muhammad cartoon, man.

You're going to put him in it with...

Tell him I want to fax him a picture of Muhammad?

That'll make him really mad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got a Muhammad cartoon you're going to get printed with his name and face cited.

Fuck that.

Next thing you know, they're throwing bricks through my windows and shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I do.

It's no...

Yeah, so let's make an order, please.

What do you have to do?

I'd like to have...

Do you have tandoori chicken?

No, the vegetarian.

There's no exchange?

We only have it for the vegetarian.

What?

Do you speak English or not speak?

Do you have a dick in your mouth?

I say the vegetarian is the same meat here.

You're stupid.

Hey, man, you're stupid.

I know you talk to the most of the house.

I know.

Uh-huh.

You do?

You are a crazy pig.

You are the crazy people.

You have no manners, no talking.

I...

Everything recording for you,

next time you call here,

I go to the police station, let's call for you.

Yeah, they're not going to care.

I say no more chicken here.

That's a vegetarian place.

You know what this means?

I say that that's a vegetarian place.

We have made only for the veggie chicken.

I'm the stupid.

Everything is God for you.

That very dirty language you use for me.

Okay?

Be careful.

Listen, I'm just trying to make it work.

I never like for your data for customer, okay?

My client is a very high class, high managed client.

Okay?

Do you have no attitude, no manners?

Do you serve sutras there?

No education, you don't know what you're talking for the other people.

Do you have sutras there that you serve, or no?

Sir, I never talk to you more. I refuse your service. Why?

I command you to give me service.

I refuse your service.

I order you to give me service.

Okay.

I'm a Brahmin.

You come here, give me a name, you come here.

I refuse your service, that's my right.

My name is Brahmin, and I'm...

Now, come here.

I refuse your service.

I never give you service.

You're just stupid.

I'm just stupid.

I never go like this to you type of customer, okay?

Listen, but...

You have no manners.

You're just cute.

But I'm kissing your mother right now.

So, maybe you give me some...

And I don't know what you're saying.

You have mother?

I'm kissing her.

She's my mother.

Man, you go to the gym.

We'll be there in 20 minutes.

In 20 minutes?

I don't know half the shit he's saying.

He just sounds funny.

He's a goofy little fucking mug.

disturbed there

I really don't

understand what

the fuck that

guy's saying

I know but

you can hear it

in the intonation

man he's enjoying

it

oh he's like

it's all I hear

from that guy

that's all

that fucker

says

alright

um

yeah

we got

let's call

a different

curry in place

here

see what happens

with that

lonesome loser

are sending in numbers we got requested pranks to get to here also milkman we're falling behind

and i fell behind on the pot on the podcast i didn't edit last week's podcast in time fuck

i know man you've been busy busy i haven't i haven't been busy i've been busy playing diablo

3 yes this is korean food yes does that include kimchi stupid you have korean food there excuse

me is this korean food do you have kimchi yeah uh-huh yeah do you have kimchi fried rice yes

Yes, we have a kimchi fried rice.

Yes, put me down for one order of kimchi fried rice.

For to-go?

For to-go, but listen, I don't want to take a shit in the toilet right after I eat the rice, okay?

Uh-huh.

I don't want to shit in the toilet, okay?

I'm sorry.

I don't want to have to take a shit in the toilet right after.

I don't understand. What are you talking about?

Do you know what a toilet is?

Uh-huh.

Yeah, you know when you sit down on the toilet?

Yes.

And you pull down your pants and you sit down?

You know what I'm talking about?

Hello?

Yes, do you know what I'm talking about when you pull down your pants and you sit on the toilet?

You don't know how to do that?

Yeah, the problem with the Koreans and the Asians is that they really don't...

At least the Indians, they kind of understand, and they get mad.

The Koreans are just like, huh? Huh? Huh?

That's all they do. Huh? Huh?

All right, let's look at these requested pranks here while Lonesome gets some more numbers here for us.

UK God... Wait a minute, Milkman. Hey, Milkman.

Hey. Asshole. Hey, asshole. You know what?

What, what?

You know that we're 10 days away from the Madhouse Radio Fantasy Football Draft, right?

I know.

I was going to tell you, but I didn't want to bring that up on the air, man,

that I'm not going to be available, and I was going to ask that you will my position

to somebody very worthy, because I apologize, and I do appreciate the offer,

but I'm not going to be available, man.

My hours are up at that.

I don't want you guys to have a bad experience and keep the league balanced.

So I ask if somebody's worthy, more worthy than I, but the opportunity, much, much.

All right, well, Milkman, all right, mister.

We won't include you then.

Let me see if I can figure out then.

No, you included me.

It's just that I'm not going to be able to make as good a shot.

I'm going to be really busy working.

I'm not going to be fair to the rest of the guys if I don't get up to speed.

So somebody that's got the time and doesn't work on weekends,

they're going to be much more inclined to give a good competition.

Okay, fine.

No, that's fair enough.

Thank you, Milkman, for doing the right thing and telling us early, you know, before we got involved.

Yeah, I won't waste your time.

You know, it discourages the rest of the people, and they're like, what a fucking dick.

We should put somebody on one to play.

All right, well.

I'll just be honest.

I'm the last time I get really busy on weekends.

No problem.

Thank you, Milkman.

You did the right thing.

Thanks for all the man.

You got it, man.

Find some good, worthy replacement, man.

I'll shoot you.

No problem.

All right, so then we're all full except for Milkman's spot.

Now, Richie, you had said you wanted to be on, and I sent you an invite, I thought, and you never replied.

So right now we've got Evil Artie, who wanted to be on the show tonight.

Maybe I'll call him a little later.

Evil Artie's in there.

Who else is in there?

Evil Artie's pretty good.

He plays pretty good.

Yeah, he'd be good.

Whoever you find fit.

Right now you've got me, you've got Big Ken is in there, Eric's in there, Bobby Ritter is in there, Ace Coy.

Boy, I think that is Dirty Aaron, isn't it?

Zyklon's in there, I know.

Who else is there?

Lonesome Loser.

Tom is in there.

He played last year with us as Bad As Fish.

He's in there.

Maybe.

I don't know.

Evil Artie and myself.

So that leaves one open spot.

Rich, you sent me your email, but you got to...

Let me see when our draft...

I think our draft is on the 20th.

Let me check.

Hang on here real quick before I forget.

Thicker drafts on the 25th.

Hey, man, you didn't send me any info on that, says Richie in the chat.

Well, Richie, PM me your email address.

I had a Gmail account.

I sent that.

I'll do it right now, but you've got to join it right now so I can close off the openings.

Yeah, jump on it, man, because it's going to go fast.

Yeah, it's going to go fast, and that'll be a 10-player league this year.

All right?

10-player league this year.

I'm really excited about that.

Yeah, we're going to have a good season.

So, yeah, Richie, send your email address, your Gmail address.

I'll send it to you again.

We'll continue here with the show.

Anyway, I was getting to request a prank.

I just saw the emails, and I said, hey, wait a minute, Larry.

Let me remember that.

UK Godfather.

Anyway, UK Godfather is sending a number for a local radio station in Bristol.

It's the BBC Radio Bristol.

It's their studio.

Give them a call here.

I think they'll answer.

Richie, the rest of you guys, if you guys are going to, I mean,

if you get an invite you know don't don't just give up after the first or second week that's

gonna really piss me off if you do that um i'll just wipe your team out completely and in the chat

i pm'd it yeah all right he pm'd it i got it i got it here rich i'm gonna send it now right now

do that tonight so the rules are if you miss a week in the draft and uh in the football league

on the fantasy football if you miss a week you have until that thursday uh to go in and make

Make some changes.

If you don't, your team's going to get locked out.

You're going to lose all your players.

They're going to go back into the pool for everyone else to draft.

Because it's not fair for us, man.

If you're sitting on good players and stuff and you're not using them, it sucks.

I got full control over the league this season, not like last time.

Breaking news.

Dwight Howard, apparently, sources are coming in late tonight.

There were rumors during the day.

Apparently, it looks like the Dwight Howard drama that never seems to end.

Now he's going to the Lakers.

Dwight Howard appears headed for Los Angeles.

Sites have agreed on a Blockbuster 14 deal

that will send Dwight Howard to the Lakers

and Andrew Bynum to Philadelphia.

Fuck.

Why can't Orlando get Andrew Bynum?

In the chat, Richie says the email was in my spam.

Oh, and I took you out.

You got to add him to the spam and put him in your inbox.

Yeah, I hear you, Richie.

Hang on, I'm sending you the invite now.

Let me do it now before I forget.

Give me a second.

We're going to regroup in just a second.

Don't go anywhere.

We'll call this radio station.

New owners and owners with changed email addresses.

Submit owner info.

Okay, Richie, I just sent it now.

So check your inbox in about a minute and go ahead and do that now.

Me on the line.

Because if not, we'll turn it over to somebody else.

Do you request that he be able to participate in the wank ball this year?

Probably does.

He is into the armored wank ball.

Armored wank ball.

All right.

Anyway, BBC Radio.

Why are we doing this here?

anyway so big real quick hang on while i'm getting those numbers uh what's up everybody uh checking

in with this pretty big crowd in the chat room here over at madhouse live.com we got a decent

crowd over at syndicate uh low numbers today and i attribute that to the fact that the madhouse

station has been down i don't know what's going on the the station rotation has not been working

correctly again on the old server and on top of that um cacti has been down since uh brad was

was forced to uh you know basically take everything cacti related off of liveness all

you got is the uh the youtube stuff right now and some archives that are out there so we hope brad

comes back soon hopefully it works out uh big ellie good friend of yours milkman she's here

enigma 420 who's uh enigma enigma enigma you've been offering you sent me and i'm sorry i didn't

an answer you sent me an offer to redo the madhouse website um it sounds interesting but

before i go can you can you create somewhere out there can you create a template can you create

maybe um a how to say a demo of what you think the new madhouse site could look like because i

like to have pretty good control over that um if you can send me a demo um doesn't have to be

completely built out but you know some ideas or a basic view uh enigma 420 send an email

yeah yeah yeah yeah enigma says yes he'll create it he'll create an offline site and show me okay

good if you do that if i like it i'll give you some suggestions and then if if it looks good

then we'll go live and i'll give you the server info and we could do a migration that would be

that would be a good time it would be a good time to do it this weekend because since i'm not going

going to be live next week if anything breaks we'll i'll have a good 14 days uh before the next

live show okay oh man if you get a shot man hang tight with what cargator requests man that'd be

great enigma if if you have any good html5 skills i would die i would love it my my big thing that

i would love to have is an html5 player for madhouse live on the website instead of a flash

one if we could get an html5 player that would be great because flash is dead

adobe it'll play anywhere you can play even on them crappy ass macs yeah well i mean adobe says

you're not they're not going to support android anymore the chrome you know the chrome browser

for android uh phones yeah the android phone version of chrome doesn't support doesn't support

flash and as google said it's not that we don't want to put it on here it's adobe came out and

said we're not gonna we're not gonna develop it we're not gonna support it on chrome sorry we just

they're they're out of the they're completely out of the um the mobile business and it's true like

if you try to load flash on an android browser it's just it hugs up so much battery so many

resources it freezes you can't focus it right you can't hit play right you can't pause it right it's

just mostly garbage it's garbage your thoughts are moving kids yeah a bunch of bullshit yeah yeah so

So if you can help me out with an HTML5 player, it would be awesome.

Awesome, awesome, awesome.

That would be my big thing.

The big thing that I would like to, yes, is that, a decent HTML5 layout.

You know, and I would love Milkman, on my list of things I would love for the Madhouse site,

I would love it to be an environment where you log in.

You know what I mean?

Where you log in again.

You know what I mean?

Where you set up a...

That would be a good idea.

Yeah.

You know, at least, but make sure, Enigma, you know, if you do get the highly, highly acclaimed prize of being the webmaster,

definitely got to share the templates in the web, the website with the Armani somewhere,

and be able to carry on if something goes down, you know, and you're not able to help us anymore.

There you go. What Milkman said. All right, let's go.

Yes, BBC.

p.m

.m for noon and he is asking that if he could have armored white he wants it yeah he's very

qualified i told him but it looks like richie's gonna get it he doesn't take it we'll give you a

shot maybe new news says call uk people and accuse him of cheating in the olympics good yeah that's a

good idea a little a little bit what time is it now 11 30 we got it's still pretty early in the

show we can get to that in a little bit no problem uh this is not going through uk godfather it is

He's not going through.

I'll try a different one.

There it goes.

Finally.

I was about to kill it.

I literally had my finger on the cancel button.

No answer.

The first number for BBC Radio.

So we'll try the second one here.

That UK Godfather.

I was thinking today, we should have Jen on, not just for special shows.

He might like to, you know.

Like if we don't just call him.

I would love that.

Yeah, I feel bad.

I'm going to talk to him.

Yeah, I don't want.

Yeah, he's going to be done with the Olympics now.

He's completely done.

We don't need to have him on when we need a favor.

I don't want him to think that's what we think of him.

All right, UK Godfather, no answer there, my friend.

We'll continue on.

Big Sif has sent in a number here for Shane.

Shane in Canada is a request a prank.

You also can send your own request a prank.

So if you have any you'd like to do, over at madhouselive.com,

click on the big request a prank button.

It's on all the pages there.

not hard to

not hard to find

yes

not easy to

you know what I mean

confused myself

geez

hey there

we sent you a call

to our voice message system

welcome

isn't available right now

when you hear the beep

record your message

god that's loud

alright

what is that

virgin wireless or something

god

anyway

yeah

yeah Milkman

you know if me and Andy

are coming by

you're never gonna

you're gonna have to

pick us up at the airport

and stuff

you're gonna be alright

doing that

Oh yeah, oh yeah

We'll do a show together

Thursday

There's a conference

That weekend

Also that I like to go to

There's a hackathon conference

Being hosted by TechCrunch

That I would like to check out

It's free admission

I believe it's on the Sunday

And then the Sunday after that

I like to go

How far is Petaluma from where you live?

Petaluma, I think it's within an hour, maybe, just a pinch more.

Yeah, maybe I'll rent a car and get to Petaluma.

I want to go to see Twit this week in tech.

I want to sit in.

They let people for free.

They don't charge you.

You can be a studio audience for this weekend.

I've been a big fan of Leo Laporte and Twit.

Leo Laporte, since he was on ZDNet TV, later Tech TV and all that,

back in the screensavers days.

and it'd be cool because he let you can get your picture taken with him and all that

i'm pretty excited about that i'll have to go i'll we're gonna i'll get a madhouse radio shirt

and wear it and uh y'all can see me there that'd be cool oh yeah man i want to see you on twitter

man that'd be great man you and you and leo all right i don't think andy's gonna want to go

i don't know andy i don't want to go there what that's scary this is going to stay in smoke pot

the whole time yeah we're gonna have to find a connect out there you gotta take us to like

where the ghetto in san francisco or something let me get a hookup i'm saying where the surfers

are at surfers usually have fuck with me honky time you got banned beep beep answer there dim

reaper's number that he sent it for a domus pizza delivery but they did not answer maybe it's too

late over there uh uk godfather sending in a taxi company now also he also apologizes uk godfather

Whether he apologizes that the radio didn't pick up.

That's fine.

BBC didn't pick up.

I know we talk to BBC a lot on here.

We know.

Maybe they're on to us or something.

It happens.

No worries.

I'm sure Lonesome's got a lot more numbers that we can hit up here in a second.

Not one.

That's a lot.

Hello, Vickers.

Yeah, so I'd like to have a taxi machine, please.

A taxi machine?

Yes.

A taxi?

Picking you up from?

A machine.

A machine?

Yes.

What do you mean, a taxi machine?

A machine is a mechanical device that you sit down in and it has a wheel inside of it.

And it has four wheels on the outside and you sit down.

It's a car.

A taxi.

Machine.

A car.

Where are we picking you up from?

It's a car machine.

You're just stupid.

I'd like to be picked up from the airport, please.

And where are you going?

I'm going to Charles de Gaulle.

Charles de Gaulle.

You know you're flying to Bristol.

Yeah, I'm going to France.

Yeah, but I mean, you're all picking up from the airport.

Yeah, and I have a flight.

My flight is going to France, Charles de Gaulle Airport in France.

Yeah, well, we cannot pick you up from Bristol Airport and take you to France.

Well, no, but my flight is going to France.

That's my final destination.

Yeah, so you want picking up from what airport?

The Bristol Airport in Alabama.

We're in Bristol, England.

Yeah, Bristol, Alabama, United Kingdom.

Right, I'm going to end this call now, okay?

No, please don't.

Please, please, I'm trapped here, okay?

No, it's okay.

I'm going to end the call now.

No, it's not okay.

Okay, please, I'm almost out of money, and they're not going to let me make any more phone calls, okay?

Okay, I'm really sorry about that, but I'm ending the call now.

Don't, please don't, it's dangerous, it's a dangerous neighborhood, please.

Bye-bye.

What's wrong, Hockey Time, dude, you're not able to get back in?

Hello, P-Cars.

Yeah, that woman, that dirty woman that you have over there hung up the phone on me.

And now you've got another one.

This is the Swiftline taxi?

No, I've got the other one, I'm going to, hang on, let me tell them something.

Yeah, what's going on? Do you want me to, do I have to ban you?

What's that, sorry?

Do I have to ban you so you can't get back in?

Yeah, please, ban me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's your name?

My name's Frank.

Frank, I just right-clicked on you right now.

All right, cool.

You know, you are in Bristol in the UK.

Yeah, and I'm flying to Charles de Gaulle Airport.

Yeah, right.

Okay, not a problem.

No worries.

I'm banning you right now.

All right, ban me then.

Milkman, write it down.

Frankie's banned.

Yeah, Frankie's banned.

No worries.

We just banned you right now, Frankie.

All right, cool.

No worries, man.

No worries.

Alright, well, you might as well just unregister your username from the system, so you can't ever get back in. You're banned.

That's alright. No, do you know this is a taxi company? This is in the UK, Great Britain.

Yeah, I'm visiting.

Alright, no worries. Alright, cool. No worries, mate. Cool.

I want to pee on the driver. I want to pee in the seat.

Oh, right. You want to pee in the seat, do you?

Alright, cool.

And on the driver also.

Oh, on the driver also as well, yeah? Alright, cool.

And on the back of the car.

Whatever floats your boat, mate. Whatever floats your boat.

I want to pee in a steering wheel.

Yeah, not a problem.

That will be extra, though, okay?

There once was an old man from Calcutta who was having a wank in a gutter.

Really?

A woman walked by and got spunk in her eye and thought it was island's best butter.

That's just crazy, crazy stuff, mate.

Crazy stuff.

All right.

I'm glad that you're enjoying yourself.

Well, enjoy your ban.

See you later.

Not a problem.

Have a good evening.

Bye, asshole.

Thank you very much.

All right.

Bye.

Hang up. Hang up the phone.

Hang up. You're banned.

You can't get back in after you hang up.

Damon the Spot in Seneca

asking, when did Seneca start banning people?

When people started being assholes.

I'm not going to sit here

doing a show and let people disrespect

me. And if you say

a disrespectful, nasty

nasty, mean thing, then I will ban you

also, Damon The Spot. You want to

be a hero and

talk against the

fat guy on the screen?

Then I will ban you also. Syndicate

is raw and uncensored.

There's a respect that goes on here.

Right now, this is Madhouse

and I'm in charge. Alright, Damon,

fine. See you later, man. You're out of here on your ass.

Enjoy your time being banned, Damon The Spot.

You have a good night. God bless you. See you.

Bye. There. Damon's on

on on his ass look it says right here this user has been banned you can see the ban user on my

ban list is what it says well have fun damon banned forever forever and ever i'm gonna

specifically tell dino you're not allowed to ever come back ever coming back to syndicate so enjoy

bye let's move right along king of all virals is thank you maybe that's one of those guys they

don't like i want to be friends with syndicate i want to be involved and you know i want to be

cool. I have a long history

with Syndicate, right, Milkman? We went back, when did we

start Syndicate originally, 2000?

Man, right after the first guy started,

dude, he was like near the ground

floor. We definitely was on the first floor, man.

Man! You know, we was on with him a

long time, man, and then just

you know, kind of those little

changes in the site and stuff, and things

just kind of got a little rough, but you know,

we're glad to be back, man. So you guys,

you know, you need the mind, man. You know,

Armanito is the man, and

you know, we're doing the show, man.

I know.

Have fun.

That's not right, you know?

Since, like, 2006, I think we started on syndicate originally.

I will leave because you get a bunch of asshole people sometimes coming up.

And shit like that, I'm not going to sit here and let people come in here.

Who's this asshole?

What is this shit?

This shitty show?

No.

You can let when the next person comes on or tomorrow when you complain and you get unbanned, then that's fine.

Come on, man.

Chill out.

We're having fun.

Yeah, don't come in while I'm doing a show and be rude and nasty and say mean things

in the chat room, because you're just going to get banned.

I'll unban you when I'm done.

When I'm done with Syndicate, when I'm done tonight, before I log out, I'll go into the

ban list and unban you.

That's fine.

I can do that.

No problem.

But for now, you don't have to be in there.

You don't like the show?

You think it's a shit?

You think the show's a shit?

Okay.

All right, homie.

No problem, homie.

All right.

Bye.

You know, in cases, you know, where you're worried or wondering what to do,

what's working, what to take, everyone has an ass.

And if you have an opinion, man, don't show it.

Continue on.

Elizabeth Richards.

I just love messing with people.

I love the trolls.

It's fun.

All right.

Elizabeth Richards is in England.

Oh, they got some more requests for pranks.

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

I don't have these problems in the manhouse chat room.

Yeah, everyone's nice.

Everyone goes in there.

Hey, we'll give a shout-out to one of our new listeners here, East Bay Frankster, man.

Yeah, man, homeboy, isn't that?

All right, we got the number for the ladies' place, but it's 72292.

Oh, someone wants me to call 722.

They're not going to pick up.

I think the last time I called it some guy, and he's stupid.

All right, we'll try 722927.

See if I can find the number even.

Cigar.

No, 722927.

722927.

I can't find 7229279.

Oh, here we go.

All right.

John Batchelor.

That's the right residence.

I love to love myself.

It's in there being sarcastic.

I love to love myself.

If you're going to be sarcastic, you know what happens?

You get banned also.

Love to love myself.

Don't be sarcastic either.

These are rules.

Rules.

New rules.

So I'm going to...

Milkman, I want you to make a banner, and it's going to have rules on it.

First line, rules, okay?

Number one, no mean.

No means.

M-E-A.

No mean peoples.

All right?

number two no racist no racist number two number three no no assholes number three

all right number four no no no no sarcastics number four all right number five we're not

playing games now you get now you're talking number six no joking around number seven no

prank calls all right john bachelor here we go seven two two nine two seven dive this lady picks

up uk taking forever to connect again same thing last week oh my god connect well we'll let it keep

dawdling there in the meantime let's see what else we got we got more uk numbers i guess see

there it goes took for like freaking 30 freaking seconds no answer there so we'll call elizabeth

richards instead hello hello stupid no picked up ruffled around a little bit milkman you heard

that and hung him right up shit i'll turn him again no nothing hanging right up all right next

one then richard abraham oh yeah we'll open the sky it's time for skype it's midnight just about

skypers if you guys if anybody wants to join in the show madhouse.radio on skype uh send me an

ad request if you've already been added you can go ahead and join in i don't want to have any more

than like four five people at the most because everyone just starts not respecting and talking

Talking over it.

And then you get banned.

Look, man, that's it.

Look, man, put down the rules also.

Too many people, banned.

Put down the rules also.

Hello, Richard.

Is it Richard?

Is Richard there or do I have the wrong number?

Well, you've got the right number, but you need to ring in on his mobile.

On your mobile?

Yeah.

What's the mobile?

I don't know where.

I'm not going to give it to you.

That's what I'm all about.

Oh, so you're there alone right now?

Sorry?

You're there alone?

He's not there right now?

No, he's not.

I'm not half past four in the morning.

oh so we can talk then it's safe sorry is it safe to talk about kissing

hello i know you're there lady no okay d12 m&m 989 with an avatar that seems to be one of the

who is that this is enigma oh it's enigma hey dig well so what yeah let me know do that man

do the template thing it'd be a great you know a great thing i'd appreciate it thanks yeah

Yeah, definitely.

Cool.

I'll put it on an old site, and then I'll let you link in and look at it.

Put it on one of them GeoCities sites, why don't you?

Is that the real Enigma?

This is the real Enigma.

This is.

Yep.

Okay, I thought it was the Enigma.

It's the Enigma, man.

Hey, brother.

Hey, man.

Cool, man.

Thanks a lot, man.

I'm looking forward to it, man.

Hey, send me the link, too.

The Enigma, the Enigma.

All right.

Yeah, you've got to give me about two weeks or so to get it.

No worries.

It's Gordon.

Yeah?

Gordon, hi.

This is Cross.

I'm calling from the IOC, International Olympic Committee.

You're in Oxford, correct?

Hello?

What do you want?

Well, I'm calling...

Why are you hitting buttons, stupid?

What was that?

Did you hit a button?

Chaos ensues.

We'll call them back.

They might have left it off the hook.

Oh, good.

They did not.

Hello?

Are you senile, stupid old man, that you hung up the phone on accident?

What happened?

Because I was still talking to you and you hung up.

Why did you do that?

Get off the phone.

No, you get off the phone.

I'm calling you.

Put your dentures back in.

I'm going to try to get his attention, all right?

Hold your ears.

Enigma and Milkman, hold your ears.

He's an American.

What is that?

He's not coming back.

I love that.

I love you do that cat voice, man.

I don't know where it is.

Nine times out of ten, it works.

You heard him in the background.

He's American, isn't he?

Yeah, he left it off the hook.

God damn it.

It's pretty cold.

Yeah.

You think more people would figure that out.

If you leave the phone off the hook, Carlito won't be able to get through.

It's simple physics, Milkman.

man. The signal can't get through.

But you can hear him rattling with all his choppers,

man. I mean, when them guns start slashing,

man, you know you're dealing with the limeys.

Exactly.

I'll tell you in the morning.

Hello, is this Judith? Yeah.

Hi, Judith. I was calling from

the International Olympic Committee. My name is Cross.

You're leaving me at 5 o'clock

in the morning. Yes, I know. This is

important business. Okay.

Did I wake you up, or were you already awake?

You woke me up because you rang me

about a quarter of an hour ago. So do me a favor,

Excuse me, I'll save this once and make sure you understand it.

Fuck off.

Is that clear?

No, what did you say?

I don't understand.

It took just a minute longer.

I was going to work on it.

You're going to get in there?

Try him again.

Brent Westwood?

Hello?

Hello, yes.

Is Judith there at all?

Why are you speaking to me at this time of the morning?

I'm calling from the United States, from the International Olympic Committee.

I don't understand that.

What do you mean?

How did you understand that?

You should call us about another two hours, maybe three hours later.

What?

Okay.

What did you say?

Okay.

No, you're muffled.

You should call us about two or three hours later.

Two or three hours earlier?

Later.

Now.

Okay, that's fine.

Well, if you have a chance now, I'd like to discuss something with you about the toilets.

No.

No, because I'm going back to bed.

No, no.

There's no more bed for you, sir.

Get up and stop being lazy, you stupid asshole.

Excuse me.

I'd like to have this call terminated.

Now, please.

This is an unsolicited call.

No, well, it's about old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard and gave her poor dog a bone, okay?

He's lying. He's solicited.

Yeah, you solicited this call.

You know what we have?

Remember we used to do this stupid thing where we had joke of the day

and we'd call people with the weather and make them unsubscribe from joke of the day?

Oh, boy.

Dirty Aaron, you got some background noise there.

Did you fix it?

Was that better?

You there?

Yeah, what's up?

Is there background noise now?

No, you sound okay.

I just got a new

headset, sir. I don't know if it works or not.

Oh, now it's good. Now I can hear, like, computers

in the background, but not anymore.

Maybe Dirty Aaron

and Enigmas.

Hey, man.

Hey, what's going on?

Let me see if we can get a hold of Artie. He told me he wanted to be on.

Artie's in the middle. It's a call field.

Artie's trying to buy...

That evil Artie, he has to lay the phone down across the room

if he's going to talk.

I told him to say, hey, he tested it with me.

He's like, oh, what about now?

It sounds good.

Like, yeah, it's better.

Dude, I mean, it's like he shoves it down his throat after he's had it in his ass.

I've been in his house before.

He has so much tile.

It's like completely tile inside the house.

He gets amped up on that K3 and eating no-dos all day, man.

It's like, fuck, man.

Quiet down.

Slow down.

I think he stopped the K2 stuff.

He doesn't do that anymore.

He told me.

he's he's he's buying a mustang and i'm trying to talk him out of it he wants to spend twenty

two thousand dollars on a 2012 mustang hello hello hey hey all right remember what we talked

about 44 degree handle or whatever with the phone oh hey baby there you go how you doing

okay okay what happened with the car um well i might be getting the maxima what how do you go

How do you go from a Maxima to a fucking Mustang?

Yeah, how do you go from a Mustang to a Maxima?

What happened?

Because I'm not going to get money for a Mustang.

So you're going to lose a pussy magnet?

Damn.

Well, the Infiniti's a bit of a pussy magnet.

Infinity?

Yeah.

Do they even make Infiniti's anymore?

It isn't a cool car at all.

It's a lowrider, man.

You've got to go lowrider.

Yeah.

I saw the G35 coupe here.

It's badass.

Yeah, Milkman's cab is low,

and it has like a little tiny chain steering wheel,

and dingle balls.

I got to climb up on the curb

to get out of that thing, man.

Hey, Artie, you got good news.

The Fantasy Football League is completely

full. We got 10 teams.

Yeah, I just got a message from someone.

Did you? From me?

Or someone else? I don't know.

They know who I am.

I'm Evil Artie.

My name on there is the name of a character

on Burn Notice.

Is it? Yeah.

What's your name on there?

I forgot what your name on there is.

Chuck Finley.

Okay.

All right.

Cool, cool.

It's like an alias on the show.

All right.

Well, there you go.

Cool.

There you go.

Evil Artie.

Good luck this year, Evil Artie.

Hopefully, I won't be second to last in the league.

I'll be last.

Don't worry.

Yeah, Aaron's on the line.

Dirty Aaron, he's in there.

We've got to figure out the divisions because I don't want to stack it up.

Lonesome had a good season last year.

I want to make sure that it's split up.

You know what I mean?

The good players with the newbies.

Can you put Milkman in my division?

Milkman dropped out.

Milkman can't do it.

He said he can't.

Actually, I had to decline the offer,

although I respectfully and gracefully and respectfully said thank you.

But I'm going to be really busy.

My hours are going to be high here real soon,

and I'm going to be working on the weekend.

So in fairness to all the other players, man,

I probably can't see the world.

I can pay a replacement.

So a place fun for everybody.

But it's not that I don't like it.

It's just I'm going to have a chance.

And I'm going to be really busy and just be fair to everybody.

Yeah, and he doesn't like football, so whatever.

Fantasy football comes first.

I'm hoping to get Deion Sanders in the draft.

Deion Sanders.

That's right.

I'm going to draft Deion.

I'm going to draft Bill Dalbury.

Oh, yeah.

You're laughing, but Eric, a friend of mine, Eric, who's in the league,

he found a website that has counterfeit jerseys.

My second pick is.

Well, he's got a counterfeit NBA, NFL jerseys, any freaking sport.

And I was wanting to get a Deion Sanders one, but they didn't have one on there.

But they look real.

They're stitched numbers and everything, man.

$19 a jersey.

Instead of like freaking $80 or whatever it costs for a jersey.

So I got a University of Miami Michael Irvin jersey.

That's badass.

badass yeah and i got uh victor cruz i got a victor cruz jersey also it cost me 40 bucks that's

it 40 uh 38 once in miami huh urban went to miami yeah he did i want to get emma yeah well way back

in the day but then i also want to get um uh they have an emmett smith one but they don't have his

college they don't have his uh college one they just have the um the cowboys one and i'm like i

don't want to wear that i want to yeah i get ron mexico on it there you go they get the falcons

The Falcons jersey says Ron Mexico on it.

Whoa, that's loud.

I don't even know who we're calling.

Hello?

Yes, hello, Mom.

Are you there?

Judy?

A button just fell off my shirt.

Are you looking at my bum, you bum looker?

All right, I hung up.

All right, we've got Elizabeth Blackmore.

Do you want to do this one, Brent Westwood?

Yes, absolutely.

You know what I think?

When you say Brent, your name is Brent Westwood.

I just think about Westwood One, the radio network.

Oh, really?

This is Westwood One.

All right, here we go.

Elizabeth.

blackmore what can i be on there sure go ahead no nuts elizabeth blackmore it takes forever for

england to connect they're screening the calls hello i

think she's connected.

I don't know.

It sounds like a straight hangout to me.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Zyklon.

How you doing?

Hey, I got Android Skype.

Let me call you back real fast.

it's doing some little ring bug

stupid ring thingy

yeah god I hate that shit

yeah I know

alright call back

see ya

yeah see milk member

you told me that

kept happening to you too

with the android skype

when you call someone

it just

it keeps ringing

like you'll be connected

and you keep hearing

the ringing noise

I don't know what you do

you gotta restart the phone

yeah

this is Elizabeth Clark here

there it goes

hello is Elizabeth there

hello

hello is Elizabeth there

hello

is there like 7000 people

There's like five people on the line.

There's like five people saying hello.

Who are we talking to?

We had, I don't know, Zyklon.

Can you hear us?

Yeah, yeah, I can hear you guys.

All right, did you lose your ring?

Is it working okay now?

No, it just started ringing again for some odd reason.

In me and Milkman's experience, you have to actually restart the phone

or you have to force close Skype in the app.

You got to go to like settings and force close it.

Yeah, go into applications and then hit force.

I think it's force shut down or something like that.

Yeah, you've got to force close it.

It sucks.

Okay.

Then click on the application.

I call to that.

Reset it.

Reset the phone.

It helps if you dial right after you hear it.

Okay, hold on.

This is weird.

You've got to stand on one leg, and then you've got to shove the phone up your ass,

and then reset it.

Elizabeth Corsillo, are you ready?

Yes.

All right.

Let's see if we can get this one to work.

You guys still there?

Yep.

No.

That is odd.

Yes, hello, Elizabeth.

Who is it?

Yes, good morning.

This is Brent Westwood calling from Westwood One.

How are you?

Good.

What is Westwood One?

It is a parent company for one of the Olympic committees.

We have a bit of a problem with one of our marathons,

and we're going to need to put some toilets in your front yard.

Is that going to be a problem?

Elizabeth, are you there?

She hung up.

I'll call her back.

Okay, it seems to be fixed now.

I don't know what the hell it's doing.

Welcome to voicemail.

Shit, fuck, cock.

That's what I said.

All right, we've got Mary Brown instead in Liverpool.

Liverpool.

You take this one.

We've got to get a good one here from you, Westwood.

I know.

We've been on vacation.

Aaron Westwood.

There we go.

What's the name again?

Mary Brown.

Okay.

Is Mary available?

Yes, is Mary there?

May I speak with her?

This is Brent Westwood calling.

This is Brent Westwood calling from the Olympic Committee.

uh we've called uh from the united states to find out why you haven't had any gold medals

can you tell me huh

i'll try them back whoa hello this is brent westwood hey i can't understand you speak english

huh what's the matter you don't know how to use the phone hello hello why are you

because i want to find out why you're cheating at the olympics okay how come your people

to play the games the way they're meant to be played huh do you understand i don't think so

let me talk to the woman is she there i'm sick of talking to you because you don't know how to use

the phone you hung it up earlier on accident i can't understand you speak american no you piss

off hey don't hang up all right all right baz wants us to call real quick here uh this is the

the place if they're still open this is the place that one uh that said it would serve me what was

a chicken uh no no it was cow penis yeah cow penis i don't know if you remember this oh let me talk

to him all right cool ask him about cow penis oh yeah we have cow penis he's like yeah i'm gonna

order the cow penis oh it's a secret you know ask him which one's bigger the cow penis or the

horse penis horse penis is pretty big what just ask the people in enumclaw they know what that's

like guam ask ernie oh come on connect carlito have you had a chance to talk to uh jim stewart

and see how he did in the olympics he did bad very poor actually there's a picture of him on

the website playing oh i gotta check that out then yeah if uh let me try to dial this again

because it's just sitting here if you look at the prank cast section if you look at the um

the last episode that we did the seventh anniversary the one that's the last one

That's uploaded there

It has a picture of him

Yeah

It's on Facebook also

Yes

I would like to place

An order to go

Okay

I would like one order

Of the cow penis

But before then

I have a question

Yeah

Which penis is bigger

The cow penis

Or the horse penis

What kind of penis

Which one is bigger

The cow penis

Or the horse penis

I don't know

So

What number

I didn't understand

So what penis

Yes

I want to make an order

For penis

And I want the bigger one

Is the cow penis bigger or the horse penis?

We don't have that one.

We don't have anything else.

It's a cow penis.

We don't have that one.

What do you mean?

One of my friends was eating there, and he said you had it.

We don't have it.

Never.

We never have that one.

Maybe it's a wrong number.

No, no, no.

This is the right number.

This is a Chinese place, right?

No, we never sell this one.

You deliver penis?

What are you guys, like gay prostitutes or something?

No.

It's a wrong number.

Sorry about it.

What a liar.

I think you were saying liver, but that's one of those you just deliberately misinterpret.

Yeah.

Let me try them, man.

Let me try them here.

See what I can get going.

Well?

Yes.

Szechuan first?

Yeah.

All right.

Make an order, please.

Mm-hmm.

Do you have the one, the deal, the dish that's like a pig, the entrails and all that?

The pig, huh?

Which one?

Assorted pork and beef miscellany.

H-21?

H-21.

My sword is the...

Okay, and what is that exactly?

It's like the pork, the pig, the shit and everything from inside the pig?

We have inside some pork intestine and the face, rod.

The face?

Mm-hmm.

The face and the penis?

We don't have a penis.

Do you have...

Well, when I called once, the man said he could get me a cow penis from...

We don't have a penis.

Well, what if...

Can I go to the Asian store and buy it?

No, I don't know.

You can find it.

Maybe you can find it here.

But we just have a liver.

How do you make the cow penis?

How do I make it exactly?

We don't have a liver.

You have liver?

Cow liver?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

What do you have?

Yeah, asshole.

Whatever.

Let's see.

Baz sent the number.

He said that we called this place.

I want to talk to him.

You want to talk to him?

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm going somewhere that you obviously didn't.

Oh, well, obviously.

You didn't accuse him of not having a penis.

Hang on.

He hung right up.

Sorry, man.

Give him a few minutes.

Remind me.

In the meantime, all right, so Baz says we called this number a few years ago, and the

guy got really mad.

It's an Indian place.

Imagine that.

Hmm.

Banchu.

I'll take that.

Probably one of the original Banchu calls.

All right, sure.

Ask him for it.

You do it.

Instead of me doing Banchu, do you order a Banchu?

Okay.

You got to warm them up.

You know, you got to start off with-

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, chicken, tandoori chicken, papadons, chicken 65.

Chicken chicken masala.

Actually, that's what they say about chicken 69.

Yeah, 60, that's right.

Yeah, hello, I'd like to pick up an order.

Just want to make sure you're picking from a rented location?

Yeah.

Yeah, go ahead.

You ready? Okay, so papadons?

We don't have papadons, sir.

What about the bread, Atlanta bread?

Bread, we have naan, roti, paratha.

Okay, I'll get some naan.

Some naan with the yogurt sauce on the side.

right there yeah yeah and then uh chicken 65 well we don't have any meat sir this is only

pure vegetarian oh it's vegan too right uh then i want the curry the uh the uh um well let's see

it's the curry with the uh the pumpkin curry right you know that yeah pumpkin no well what about uh

do you have uh matterchud that's vegetarian yeah you you have it you have it also huh i do

You eat that every day?

Oh, every day, yeah.

It's vegetarian.

Why don't you make that yourself?

Well, I'd like to have,

I'd like your sister

have a banchu.

Huh?

You can make it yourself

and you'll have banchu,

the matcha, everything.

Everything?

Can I mix it all together

into one?

Why don't you have it

and mix it and put it in your mouth?

I put it in my mouth

with the naan bread?

Why don't you give me a number

for the naan bread?

Why don't you give me a number?

Oh, I get the right number right here.

You're who I want to talk to, huh?

Why don't you give your number?

Why don't you come in front of me, huh?

Why don't you stay out and talk like that?

Why don't you give your number?

Huh? I'll come on over.

Then I'll show you my mother, child.

Huh?

Hold on, hold on.

Hold on, we'll be on the same line.

Hold on.

Okay, okay, yeah.

I love it when they get their brother.

He's getting his sister for us.

Yeah, good.

I want to talk to her.

Come in front of me in love.

We'll wait on that.

Let's see what happens here.

He's going to get out his flute and his snake,

and he's going to...

oh he's gonna be like charlie and start begging props and pans

thank you though i think that was his wife that did that you know yeah i think it was his wife

yeah hello hey are you there stupid are you there stupid i want the mother chud serve it to me now

huh in the meantime bazooka man is joining us hello bazooka oh this is baz how you doing

Baz

Get it

Baz

I get it

Nunu just posted

Charlie's Facebook

Charlie has a Facebook

Yeah I saw that

Yeah

Yeah Charlie has a Facebook

Is it real

Or is it fake

I need a link to that

It's in the chat

Loudarty

Like a fake Charlie one

Yeah

I don't know if it's real or not

But

I don't know

It's Charlie

If you look up Charlie's site

He's in there

Yeah yeah

That's what I was wondering

Was what

Like a business

and a CINO for the do-drop pen.

For some reason, I think that it's a fake.

Are we calling the guy back?

Yeah, I'm calling him back.

Hey, Maruchan, what happened with the phone, huh?

Hello?

Hello? Are you there?

Christopher, what can I help you?

Yes, I am looking for Maruchan.

Mr. Sergeant, Christopher, can I give you a name and number, please?

Office of Christopher? Christopher Robin?

I want your name and number right away.

You want my name and number right away?

This is stupid Indian.

I can trace you, but can you give me your name and number?

Trace you very easily.

You think a tracer can stop me?

Yes.

No.

Are you a Padma?

Hold on.

Huh?

Shower Kambacha?

I'm not holding on to shit.

You take my fucking order.

All right.

Disconnect the call.

No, I'll keep him on there.

Ryan, terminate the call, please.

Sorry, that's what it was.

We'll keep him on there.

Anyway, speaking of people that get easily angry, I think the Turkish horse guy is still

open.

Oh, the Turkish horse girl now.

Is she?

He's never seen her.

Yeah, I want to talk to the wife.

She sounds fucking awesome.

Here's an idea.

This probably won't work, though.

I think it's too late, but get the Turkish first guy and the Malacca guy on the same line.

The Malacca guy?

Yes.

Malacca guy.

We get a Malacca guy?

Yeah, it's like 2010 or something.

Yeah, it was a whole show, though.

There was a lot of Malacca.

Yeah, but the original one.

Yeah, hey, how's it going?

I want to place an order.

order yes what do you like i want the rice dish the rice with what with the chicken chicken dinner

or chicken shish uh chicken dinner dinner okay and then what do you have to drink there i have

sodas turkish sodas uh turkish soda yeah so it's turkish does it have like do you guys piss inside

the soda is there urine in there yes we do uh-huh and then you shit inside the food yeah and then

and it makes me go shit in the toilet?

I do spit in the for you.

You want to come?

Yeah, you take a shit on the grill.

I do, yeah.

Yeah, come.

I'll give you my shit.

Yeah?

Shit right in the mouth?

From you.

To your mouth.

Huh?

Turkish Cleveland Steamer.

I had to meet you.

That call, I was laughing.

Turkish.

I had to get the mic away from me.

Let me try.

Hold on.

Call them back.

Ask for Uzo,

which is a Greek drink.

Or better yet,

let me talk to her.

Hello?

Hey, who is this?

Is this a Turkish kitchen?

No, no, I am Armenian.

Wait, is this like an Armenian restaurant?

Yes, I am Armenian, yes.

Oh, I was looking for the Russians.

What?

No, I was looking for the Turks, that's right.

No, no, I'm Armenian.

Do you speak Armenian?

No, I'm civilized.

Oh, okay, okay.

I speak English, like normal people.

Like normal.

Okay, so I'm Armenian

So I'm normal

We don't speak monkey

This monkey talk

Monkey people talking

Sounds like you have dick in your mouth

What the fuck

I don't know

That's Turkish kitchen

They got an Armenian there now

I guess

I didn't know

That's weird

I thought the Turks killed

Like a couple million of them

In like 1910 something

Turks killed

That's right

Aren't they always at war with each other

Was it the Turks or the Russians

I can't remember

I don't know

There was like a genocide with the Armenians

that just finally got recognized as a genocide

about four years ago.

I can't remember who did it,

whether it was the Russians or the Turks.

Who gives a fuck?

I don't know who we got here.

Kate McGinnis.

Is this UK? Plus 4-4.

Here, let me take this one.

Kate McGinnis.

Of course, my luck, it goes directly to Einstein Machine.

The UK's been like that lately.

Probably because of the Olympics.

The Olympics, yeah.

All right, that's great.

We've got David Allman instead in England.

These are all Liverpool.

The UK is catching on.

Yeah, I think they are catching on.

They've got a memo over there.

Oh, did you hear that?

They're going to take it at night on Thursday night.

Yeah, Thursday night.

Speaking of the Olympics,

did you guys hear about that tweet that some American girl posted?

It's like, oh, well, we've got silver and archery.

What are the gun sports coming?

I was like, wow.

Wow.

As someone that actually shoots competitively,

facepalm.

God.

Mom was like,

but Dad, this is America.

David Allman, any second now.

This is a fucking hell, Ira.

Shut up, you asshole.

Listen, I got a report to make to you.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Fuck your mom.

Where did he come from?

This guy,

I think this guy just wants to be called back.

Yeah, he didn't even ring.

He said,

I don't know.

That's all you hear.

Oh, you're fucking wrong.

Stinking fucking Irish.

Spell him Welsh.

Scottish. It's even worse.

Scottish is worse? I thought Welsh was worse.

Well, everybody confuses the Scots

from the Irish. That's true.

Hello. You're not available now.

I'll try him again. Fear not.

Well, fuck. Irish Spring.

Hello. Hello. Top of the morning to you,

the matey. Hello.

Willkommen, meine Damen und Herren.

Hey, Carlito, I put a

question prank in for a African-American

woman with a new cell phone number.

African-American. Yeah, I'm sure

you got it here. Let me see. I'll get Gordon.

Hold on, let me take this one, but

warning, it's probably going to be really racist.

Do you mind?

In the meantime, this is Gordon Downey.

I'm working on it.

Oh, I thought that was the African-American woman.

No, it's coming up next.

Okay, let me take that one then.

I'm going to have to ban you from syndicate for being racist.

Gordon there.

What a bitch.

It's on to you.

Yeah, what a bitch.

Dirty Aaron's number for Tamika

Molto Bella Denise.

Seriously, that's her name?

Fuck yeah, dog. From Detroit.

African-American woman with new number.

Oh, it was a Facebook posting?

God, got a lot.

Yeah.

Hey, man, I'm surprised this is a black person in Detroit.

Imagine that.

I wonder if it's the girl who gave me the blowjob.

Yes, it is, Artie.

I asked her.

Was she from Detroit?

He.

It's a man, Artie, that gave you a blowjob.

An Obama voter.

Hello?

Hey, Mayor.

This is the KKK.

How the hell did you get a cell phone?

Which black person did you steal it from?

Oh, that worked out well.

Yeah, that...

Ah, damn it.

Kind of went hard right off the bat.

Yeah, you got it.

Let me apologize.

Yeah, I was trying to be like the most racist KKK person I could be.

You just did it.

This isn't answering anymore.

Yeah.

Some of my favorite newer calls are the ones where I call back and I apologize on behalf of the person who called.

Oh, my God.

Then when you prayed with fucking, what's his name on the phone?

Oh, my God.

He's just a lady.

With the fucking hotel guy.

Bruno.

When you prayed with Bruno on the phone, like, oh, man, that was delicious.

Delicious.

Hell, yeah.

Great.

All right.

Classic.

This is a taxi place.

Can you do me a favor?

Yeah, how's it going?

I need a ride.

Yeah, where from?

Yeah, from Bristol.

Whereabouts?

You know, in the city.

Yeah, whereabouts?

It's 214 Fiend Street.

Yeah, okay.

What area?

you what do you mean i'm i'm i'm here visiting i'm not exactly sure i see some some lights and

some signs right uh it says it's uh is it some liverpool street is that right yeah right no

worries but this is the gentleman who was giving me the prank call before oh this isn't a prank

i'm fucking lost i'm an american stuck in europe in your bloody fucking city huh no we're not

not picking you up sir i'm afraid why not why not i'm just a little bit drunk i'm just a little

drunk right now what seems to be a problem we're not picking you up i'm afraid oh why not i'm gonna

put a fight i'm gonna put on facebook that the the the europeans hate americans because we're

beating them at the olympics oh my name isn't fucking roger it's brent westwood

did you get it do you want me to fucking spell it yeah please i'm a bit special

E-R-E-N-T.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did you catch that?

No worries.

All right, mate.

We have a good...

Anthony, this is Anthony.

No, that's...

Oh, I was looking for an Anthony, but I woke you up.

Is that okay?

No problems?

No, no, really.

Oh, okay.

How many sinks do you have in your home?

How many what?

Sinks, like where you wash your hands.

Oh, but you're joking on me.

You woke me up at this hour of the morning, so I...

No, this is an important question about the sinks

because we have to use your facilities.

We have to use your bathrooms and your water.

I can't get myself clean.

That's bullshit.

His name is Anthony.

I know.

Maybe it's Tony.

Tony.

Hello?

Tony.

I need to use your bathroom.

Straight away, mate.

I'm having a dire fucking emergency.

I was over there eating these hot dogs

and I got shit coming out in my pants.

I need to wash my hands.

He's gone.

Can you help me?

He's gone.

that gives me an idea let me be stupid here let me let me try a different anthony but i'm going

to do this one to start out you understand chinga two mile away understand okay he says okay then

anthony anthony if you can hear us please pick up it's important okay anthony hang on keep listening

we're going to do another phone call here you're going to listen on this message we're calling our

our friend charlie charlie's a friend of mine he's he's related to you charlie charlie's a good friend

of mine charlie charlie is awesome he speaks spanish let me talk to him he actually didn't

pick up last week hello charlie yes you understand he doesn't care anymore he doesn't want to play

no more he's over it man i think he's busy with his wife right now well apparently he talked to

Zolar for, like, a good 15 minutes recently on Zolar's show about a week ago.

Yeah, Zolar got him to talk for a while.

Uh-huh.

All right, we got Charles.

Instead, we got a different Charlie.

Charlie here.

Charles.

Charles DeGaulle?

No, Charles Bishop, and he's in Liverpool.

Let me try this one.

Hang on.

Yes, is Charles there?

Charles who?

Charles Bishop.

Who's speaking?

This is Cross.

I need to use the bathroom there.

and I have to take a big shit

and he said I could come

and use the bathroom.

He said that I could use his house

whenever I needed to

and it's an emergency.

Oh, come on, you had.

Well, come on.

What a car.

Wow, what a bitch.

All right, I'll call her back

for you guys.

Do it.

Do you want me to apologize for you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hold on a minute.

Perfect.

You're telling her son

was making prank calls.

Actually, I got to go, guys.

Sorry.

All right, bye.

See you, mate.

Oh, he's in trouble.

Good night.

Your call cannot be taken

at the moment.

Oh, come on.

It can't be taken.

Bullshit.

Aaron, did you do the dishes?

You haven't been worried about the dishes, though.

Was that you?

Was that you that used to have to do the dishes?

No, the dishes, yeah.

No, the dishes aren't done.

Nobody's here.

They're gone.

I'm gone for like a week.

Good.

I'm all by myself.

Fuck the dishes.

Fuck them.

Yeah, seriously.

thinking about doing it

Just tossing them out the window

And then shooting them with a shotgun

Dishes are done

Dude if you're going to do that

Try my shotgun

gun semi-automatic 12 round box 20 round box magazine sounds remind me to not come into your

neighborhood do not peek into his windows at night yeah there was a story sorry already some

guys but don't try to come in already some guy in the city you live in i won't blast it out but i

saw that um there was a guy it was a peeping tom peeking into like a woman's window who was naked

in the morning it was still dark out and the neighbor saw it happening and came out and shot

and and and the guy ran away he got shot in the arm and ran away but they're like the police said

he's he's cool that's fucking florida for you where where is it where you live the city i'm

you want me to tell everybody where you live stupid my city yes your city yes tiny ass city

your tiny ass city yes oh yeah over there uh you know you know the subdivision uh you know like

like when you turn left to get to where you live and to the right there's where that golf courses

and st john's restaurants and bar hotel reservations please press one by the way

please press two give me the front desk get a room for you and your horse are we calling a room

carlos say it's almost wholesale john speaking of yes hello john i need a ride can you guys help me

a ride so he so he's calling from upstairs yeah okay what's your room number uh 21 sorry where's

that you're calling from?

Huh?

I'm sorry,

you must be confused.

I need a ride.

A ride?

Yeah.

You've called a hotel?

Uh-huh.

I know.

I'm at the fucking airport.

Charles de Gaulle Airport.

You people

made the reservations

and now it's all fucked up.

I want you to fix it right now.

Okay.

I'll tell you what you're going to do.

Are you ready for my last name?

Why would you have made

the reservation

if it was the Charles de Gaulle Airport?

Huh?

So you're calling a hotel

in Liverpool in England?

Right.

And I'm in France

and I need a ride.

So how can I help you?

You need to send a car.

From England?

Si.

Okay, yeah.

That's yes in Spanish.

What?

Thanks for your call.

Cheers.

Hang on, hang on, hang on, sir.

Are you there?

Go on.

Don't hang up.

This is my travel agent.

Don't hang up.

I'm sorry.

My friend, he's a little drunk.

He needs a ride.

I'm in a different country, though, so I can't really help you.

Oh, no, he's not in France.

No, what he needs is a ride.

You know, he needs someone to ride him.

To ride him?

In France?

Yes.

Have you got a pen?

I'll give you the phone number.

Well, he's going to get on all fours, and he's going to take his shirt off, and we just need...

Yeah, yeah, so if I give you this phone number, I can get someone to come down for you.

No, no, don't give me a dirty number. Don't you dare.

Ah, well, nothing I can do for you, then.

Thanks for your call, though, yeah?

Just get on top of him and hold him by his hair.

I can't do that. No, sorry.

That sounds like something you normally do.

You normally do that.

I'm sorry.

Can I apologize?

Can I apologize, sir?

I'm so sorry.

All right. Myself and my friend, Carlos, we're going to pray to the Lord and baby Jesus to, what was your name, sir?

I'm bored of you.

I'm not bored. I'm just, I've had a few too many. I'm really excited about the Olympics and how many gold medals the Americans have won.

What's your name, sir?

Billy.

Billy?

Yeah.

All right. Dear Father and the Holy Spirit, please take Billy into your arms and allow him forgiveness in your heart.

then send him to hell to burn in hell and then carlos will get on top of him with his shirt off

and ride him from charles de gaulle airport to liverpool in the name of the father and the son

and baby jesus six pound eight ounce i forgive you son sound if you don't know yeah no excuse me

sir sir i must apologize for the actions of my friends they're both pretty darn drunk uh we

actually do need a taxi we're up in room 112 they're pretty wasted yeah yeah yeah we need a

taxi to head on over to the pub?

Yeah, yeah, we'll show it off, you know.

Can you send a taxi upstairs, up here?

Yeah, yeah, I'll pass it through the window

for you. Yeah, and then can you jump off the

window and kill yourself? No, no.

Shut up. Seriously.

Jack off on the way down.

While you're falling down, masturbate

on the way down.

You're an asshole. Alright.

I want to talk to him. You want to talk

to him? Artie, you want to talk to him?

You want to talk to him. Artie, pretend

that all of us

have just been, like, drunk.

Artie, we're on Syndicate.

Artie, are you going to

come back to Syndicate?

Syndicate's back.

I don't know.

You should.

You should do a show

on Syndicate again.

You have a computer now.

I don't know.

No, I don't have a computer.

Thank you for calling.

This is Thomas Hotel.

Why are you getting in the car

but no computer?

Hotel reservation, please.

We mail in one.

Reception?

Yeah.

May I help you?

Well, I'm wondering,

you got a bar there?

Not for you, no.

What?

Bye, no.

No, I was...

Denied.

Oh, what happened

Brad got in some kind of trouble, so he took it offline for a while.

So, yeah.

Brad got in trouble?

Yeah, Bradley.

I heard somebody's documents got dropped.

Thank you for calling the San Juan, Liverpool, John Lennon Airports.

For reservations, press 1.

For group reservations, press 2.

For meetings, press 3.

For weddings, press 1.

You are being transferred to reception.

Holy sh-t.

You better not hang up on me again.

Wondering if you have any huggers over at the bar.

It's a different hotel.

That's funny.

The first thing he said.

Hold on.

Let's call the Hotel Napoleon.

Let's see if I got it.

Hang on.

Good question.

Although Bruno doesn't work there.

He works at a different shift now.

Well, you already could tell us because I already called him a bunch of times.

Didn't you already?

It was like a year ago now.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, there you go.

Here's the thing, though.

Call the Hotel Napoleon and ask for stuff like in Germany.

because you know how, like, French people hate Germans.

Yeah.

He doesn't work at the Napoleon, though.

He left the Napoleon, now?

No, I thought it was, like, Abba Montaprentice or something.

It's got, like, five different names.

It's, like, Abba Montaprentice, Napoleon.

Whoa.

I got this one.

Fellow reception?

Yes, is this the liner?

Yes, it's the liner, yes.

Yes, I was wondering what time do you pick people up at the, you know, for the cruise?

Cruise?

Yeah, this is the liner.

No, this is the Liner Hotel.

Yeah, exactly.

There's a hotel on the boat.

I saw this on TV.

Andrew Bourdain was there.

No, we're not on a boat.

Well, this is the Liner.

It's a big, this is a big ship.

It's the Liner Hotel.

We're by Lime Street.

We're not on a boat, so we don't take any calls or nothing.

That's how it sounds.

It's really cool.

Can you blow the whistle for me so I can hear it?

I'm on a boat.

Take a look at me on the motherfucking boat.

Oh, you guys apologize for me.

Hello, the liner.

Hello, hello.

I'm sorry about that.

Yes, I want to apologize for my drunk buddy.

Okay.

Yeah, he was calling looking for the cruise liner.

Do you happen to know where we can find the actual cruise ship?

No, not that I know of.

You don't?

No.

What liner are you?

It's a hotel.

It's named after the boat.

It's not a boat.

Is this like the shitty liner?

No, it's not.

Is this like the trash can liner then?

No.

What kind of liner is this for fuck's sake?

Not much for Linus

Because Linus is a boat

Which is called the Linus

Now where's the boat at?

Where can we

Is there

There used to be a boat?

Yeah, the boat

Was it

Was it the Titanic?

Yeah

How come you guys

Can't build decent boats?

This can't be the Titanic

It's not on the bottom

Of the fucking ocean

Was the Titanic

Was built in Liverpool

Wasn't it?

I think so

No, Belfast

Belfast

Thank you

We're calling

Hannah's Hoppy

Hoppy Houses

Hello

Are these

The Southern Marijuana?

I don't know

Oh, that's a good idea

Yes

Yes, call Coffee House, ask if they sell weed.

They do birthday parties here.

Especially if you like the U.S.

We're expanding the business of Canada Coffee House.

Leave your name and number, and I'll give you a call back.

Thanks.

Sounds like it's one of those places that dispense marijuana, you know, the smoke.

Yeah, like in Amsterdam.

Yeah.

Well, it's California.

Like in California, but it's true.

You don't go to Oakland, do you, Milken?

That's dangerous there.

Oh, hell, dude.

That's the best place to go.

No, no, no, no.

It's dangerous, dude.

But, you know, when you come, I'll show you, man.

It all started, the whole movement started in Oakland.

That's where it was first legalized.

Then it spread throughout California.

The law was established by Bruce Townsend.

M.C. Hammer started it.

Yeah.

I guess what I'm going to do is if I step into the city limits,

I'm going to make sure I got my frigging fleet five.

Yeah, I don't know.

See, I'm thinking about going to see Brad also, RBCP.

I might go visit him over in Alba.

He was telling me, oh, I'm far away.

He says it's 90 minutes from Portland.

I'm like, fuck.

He's like, well, I'll pick you up.

I'm like, I don't want to go.

You pick me up at the airport 90 minutes away to go to your house?

What the hell?

It goes in the middle of nowhere.

I'll pick you up in Portland, Carlitos.

I wish it's like Europe, you know, where the train goes everywhere.

Just take the frigging train.

Yeah.

Fuck driving.

He said it was a $15 train I can take from the airport to right outside where he lives.

Maybe I'll do that.

That makes sense.

I guess.

Maybe I'll do a tour of the West Coast.

I'll hit up two cities, two or three places.

I'll hit up RBCP Country, Milkman Country, and then I don't know.

Actually, there is one place in RBCP Country I would want to go see,

and that's the go drive on the Portland racetrack that they have.

Do they let you get in a fast car like you pay for it and get on it and all that shit?

Pretty much all places do, or you can just take your own car on there.

You know, something I never got to do when I lived in Florida,

of the Daytona Speedway.

Artie, you should do this.

You know, you can pay, like, $150

and you can get in a NASCAR stock car.

Yeah, they have the Richard Petty driving experience.

Yeah, the Richard Petty thing.

They pay you?

No, they don't pay you.

Yeah, they pay you already.

They pay you.

They pay you, yeah.

Like, what?

Yeah, they pay you already.

Yeah, they have a race car contract

waiting for you right now.

Yes, yeah.

Yeah, you're going to be a NASCAR fucking driver, yeah.

Could you imagine me a driver?

No, you can barely drive as it is now.

Yeah, you're going to buy a fucking...

I'm not just a good driver.

I remember Artie came over to my condo once

He's like, I can't park, park the car for me

I'm like, what?

I'm like, oh, I'm scared

He stopped in the middle of the parking lot

Is Artie Asian by any chance?

I only had six months of driving

Artie, are you Asian?

No, but I'm banging an Asian

He is, he is, you know

But here's the thing though

I actually drive a decent car

I drive a Mustang, so

Let's see, Artie, you should have gotten the Mustang, man

And Mikey1299 in the chat room is asking you already,

what kind of man can't park a car?

That's my good point.

I only had six months of driving experience, and I avoided driving at all times.

Wow.

I know what type of man can't park a car, a woe man.

Okay, a woe man.

I think we're out of numbers, guys, and it's 1255.

I think we'll shut it off.

I think we'll cut it down.

I'm sorry.

It's been fun, you know, whatever.

I do have a question, though.

What time is the draft for the Fantasy Football League?

You know, the draft, I'm going to have to move it up a day, actually, I think.

Well, we need to come to a consensus, but right now it's at noon.

Should we do it on a Sunday?

Or that's when they play, so you can't do it, right?

Well, no, I have it set for the week before.

All I care about is that it's in the evening Eastern time.

Right, it's like at 10 a.m., like on a Saturday morning or something.

No, no, it's not.

No way, that would suck.

That would suck.

I wouldn't get up that early.

I'd miss it.

Has draft order already been randomly set yet or not?

The draft, it's set to Saturday, August 25th at 9 p.m.

So it is the Saturday before.

It's not the day before the regular season.

It's the weekend before, the Saturday at 9 Eastern.

That's a Saturday.

So who's picking first overall?

We don't know yet.

You don't know until an hour before.

That's when the picks get.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, your order.

This year is going to be interesting this year.

I mean, we learned years past how 1 and 2 was always AP and CJ,

depending on individual preference.

Yeah, it's not like that.

Yeah, I know.

I could say, like, four or five players that legitimately are a number one pick.

Yeah, it's going to be tough.

Of course, I'm not going to say who they are because if I'm number one.

Yeah, well, you've got to watch.

Yeah, well, you've got to set your picks.

Another thing is, like, I said it to the end of the preseason

because last year there were, like, two good players that got injured.

who was it

well what's his face

Peyton Manning

got injured

he wasn't playing

but he broke

was he playing

he broke his collarbone

or was he just

he just broke

no it was

off season

when he had the surgery

he had surgery

and they said

it didn't work out

yeah

and there was

Arian Foster too right

I think

I don't know

Arian Foster is good

some

I was reading

some fantasy people

where they had him

number one

really

so yeah

he was in the top

the five

that I would consider

do you still pick i mean you still have to get your quarterback first right isn't that pretty

much no it depends i don't keep in mind keep in mind and i still have time to change it but the

the way i set it up you basically you get two quarterbacks you get your quarterback position

and you also get the uh the offensive player position you can pick any offensive player

as uh to start also so basically everybody gets two quarterbacks so everybody plays a quarterback

quarterback you will everybody play well every week you'll play two quarterbacks basically um

okay running backs is it two running backs two receivers uh kicker and then defensive

defense special teams let me see i think that's how it is uh i don't have um more than three

more than two quarterbacks on your roster this year you're yes i said yeah because last season

it kind of sucked if you had especially when one of your quarterbacks had a bye week yeah

Yeah, had a bye week, he had a drop.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

No, it was set up for three quarterbacks, I think.

I don't know.

Was it?

Wasn't it?

No?

Here's what I say, though, is this, is that I predict that somebody's going to reach and

take Peyton Manning.

Milkman will.

Sony's going to overdraft on him this year, I bet.

I don't know.

He actually did really good tonight in the preseason game.

Yeah.

Preseason started last night.

Or tonight, right?

Well, tonight.

Tonight, yeah.

I don't know.

The game I care about doesn't start.

Well, I want to see the Jets game because I want to see how well Tebow plays.

All right, so quarterback, you can have a max of two quarterbacks, Artie.

Because if not, we've got ten players, and it's going to get all screwed up.

Who else is playing?

Ken, Aaron, me, Artie, Lonesome Loser, my friend Eric's in there, Richie is in there.

Richie is in IG-69.

Yeah, IG-69 is in there.

Giggles.

Yeah, Giggles, a.k.a. Giggles.

Giggles.

Eastog's in there already

from last year also

Eastog was in last year, he's in there this year

trying to remember who else is in there

no, no Milkman

no, he just dropped

well anyway

10 teams

you can start

one quarterback, you have to start one quarterback

and you can start any other offensive player

basically everyone just starts

a quarterback in that position

you have to, you don't have to

but you should

uh two running backs there's a there's and there's also a running back slash wide receiver

position there is a wide receiver two wide receivers separate there's a one tight end

tight end sucks um it depends if you get like gronk or jimmy graham it's pretty good hit and

miss there's a there's a flux there's a flux position that you can choose a running back

wide receiver or tight end um defense special team uh kicker i got punter in there but i'm

probably going to take punter out take punter out yeah punter is useless and then head coach i put

head coach in there but i don't know that i'm going to keep that in there that's another how

the hell do you score head coach yeah i think if i think it's like if the head coach went if that

if his team wins you get five points i think if he loses you get nothing so if you if you choose a

head coach that's going to win you get points for it um let me guess you take bill belichick for

There's two injured reserve positions.

And I've got to set up for passing, every 10 yards is one point for every 10 yards.

Passing.

Touchdown passes are four.

One point for 10?

Yeah, one point for 10.

That's going to highly favor quarterbacks than over running backs.

That pass.

Yeah, also, like Tim Tebow won't get as many points.

That's something to keep in mind because, you know,

I couldn't figure out a way to – there really isn't a way to –

I thought they usually did it 30 per point for passing

and 10 per point for rushing.

I pretty much kept the same rules that we had last year.

It was one point for every 10.

And then if you get a 40-yard pass, it's an extra point.

If it's a 40-plus-yard TD – if it's a 40-plus-yard touchdown pass,

you get an extra point on top of the four.

You get an extra two points if it's a 50-yard pass.

You get minus two points for interceptions.

that's going to scare off all the Tony Romo

picks

I got the iPhone app

the iPhone app is pretty kick ass

actually I think I don't even have to do

anything on the computer

I don't know if Android is out

they wait until like the week

like two days before the season started

last year to get the Android app running

it would piss me off

see the punting

I'm going to take that out

punting is like punt inside the 20

is one point punt average

If the punt average is 42 to 43, 2.8.

You're going to need that punt average, dude.

I don't know.

It's just two points.

Two points for that.

If it's going to be, can you fold it into the special teams maybe?

Possibly.

Or here's the head coach.

Here's the one I asked you to take this out.

25-plus point win margin for the head coach is 10 points.

That's a lot.

Yeah.

That's a sling.

Yeah.

So that's like picking, if you say you have Green Bay versus Cleveland.

Yeah, if it's a blowout, you get 10 points.

If it's a 15 to 19 point win margin, you get 6.

If it's 5 to 9 points, it's 2 points.

There's no penalty for the head coach losing,

but you get points depending on how much the win margin is.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. But also, speaking of football, the father of the Tennessee governor recently bought the Cleveland Browns.

Really?

Yeah.

Cleveland?

Yeah.

That's weird.

But here's the kicker, is that this guy is a, at the time when he bought it, he had a partial stake in the Steelers.

The Steelers.

Conflict of interest?

I think so.

I think he's selling, I'm 99% sure he's selling his Steelers stake.

Yeah.

There's no way the NFL would let him do that.

Yeah.

All right.

So in the divisions, the East Division is me.

Who's Dallas Cowgirls?

Who the hell is Dallas Cowgirls?

I don't know who that is yet.

Eric's in there, East Dog, and the Thursday Night Teabagger.

I don't know who that is.

I think that's Ken.

Yeah, Ken's in my division.

In the West, you've got Lonesome Loser, Artie, Mad as Fish.

What's Lonesome Loser's team called?

Last year he was Caesars, Centurions.

I think he's Team G right now.

He hasn't changed it yet.

Team G right now.

He'll probably change it.

Aaron, Zyklon.

I'm with San Francisco for 69ers.

69ers, Artie, yeah.

The West Coast is going to be the division to watch.

I might mix it up a little bit.

We'll see.

Well, I mean, who actually, in my humble opinion, we should try to keep it, like, somewhat geographically even.

Like, everybody that's in, like, eastern time zone is in the eastern conference.

Everybody in the western time zone is in the western conference.

That's fair.

We'll have to figure that out, though, geographically where people are.

All right, well.

Well, that's also fair because of that way people aren't having to be penalized because of time zones.

Right, with your team and shit like that.

Yeah.

Well, with people in the West having to get up really, really early to set their stuff.

Yeah.

Oh, I can't wait, man.

I love football season, man.

I always wake up around 9 and I get my coffee going and I'm watching Yahoo Sports

and watching the show there and ESPN online and watching that.

And then I listen to Sirius.

They have a whole station that's just for fantasy football.

I listen to that.

I always like the Fox chant.

I always like to catch the Fox broadcast myself.

self but yeah well you know mainly because also they have jimmy johnson on there and jimmy johnson

is the man you like jimmy johnson okay cool i'm a cowboys fan so can't argue with two superbowls

are you the cowgirls no i'm the eye of the zyklon the eye of zyklon eye of the zyklon

all right well enough football talk we've turned off about everybody in the chat room

we're out of here all right zyklon you're out of here on your ass

Did Richie accept the invitation?

Yeah, Richie's good.

Yeah, we're good.

We're good, man.

Cool, cool.

By the way, Carlito, before we leave, just I'll send you a thing.

If you still play Star Trek Online, now that it's free to play,

see if you can hit me up with whatever your character and handle is so I can friend you.

Yeah, you know, I got the new computer, and I installed it, and I went in there,

and, like, all my stuff is all jacked.

Like, I got to respec my character, and I'm like, ah, it seems like a lot of work.

Make sure to send it to DirectX 11, but here's all I can say is this.

Defiant Retrofit.

I can't find the, on the, I can access it on my iPhone,

but I can't access the Fantasy Football League thing from the computer.

If I sign in, it won't, fuck, I can't find it.

You can't sign in?

No, I sign in to ESPN Fantasy Football, I go to my thing,

and it doesn't show me anywhere.

It should be on the right-hand side.

You should see your leagues.

It doesn't show up.

You should say, like, league.

You should show your leagues on the right-hand side when you first sign in.

You got the green background?

It should be the green background, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, it should show up there.

My team, Seattle.

Okay, there it is right there.

There you go.

Yeah.

Gotcha.

Thank you.

And you can look at the settings, league, and then league tab, and then settings, and

they're all there.

Everything we're talking about now, you can check out there.

I'm going to bookmark it.

There you go.

Bookmark it.

Don't lose it.

Yeah.

I'll go ahead and get on the league and see if I can post a thing.

Like, post your time zone so we can try to get everybody geographically sorted.

Yeah, yeah, good idea.

I think my team name should outline my area.

There you go.

Well, I just picked Aya the Zyklon because of, yeah.

There you go.

Well, you're a Zyklon, so there you go.

All right.

It's late.

I'm leaving.

Bye, Zyklon.

You're out of here on your ass.

Take it easy, man.

See you.

Dirty Aaron, you're out of here on your ass, sir.

All right, bud.

Bye.

Who's this?

Enigma.

We haven't even talked to you in a while, if you're still here.

Hey.

Yeah, I was just listening.

All right, well, you're out of here.

See you later, man.

Have a good one.

Good show.

Yep, bye.

Artie.

Later.

It's time.

See you.

Bye.

Don't call me off air, dude.

All right, I will.

Yeah, bye.

Is that it?

Are we done?

Milkman, just you and me, right?

Yay.

Down, down, down to the top of the cream.

Yeah.

All right, cool.

Well, I guess we're done.

Milkman, it's over.

It's been a great night.

All right.

Yeah, take us out of here.

Great night.

Take us out of here quickly, though.

All right.

I got to go.

I've got to work tomorrow.

Thank you so much for giving us another smile and saving more lives out there, man, from

being killed and stressed with me right here.

Thank you.

All right.

Yeah, that's it.

Thanks, everyone, for listening on Syndicate Radio.

Radio, those of you who behaved, thank you for behaving.

Yeah, don't forget, you better mind your Q's and Q's.

Who cares, you can troll me.

Blue Planet, thank you.

Cacti Radio, thank you for being on.

Thank you for having us.

Hopefully Brad will be back soon.

Yeah, by the way, if anyone's still listening,

if anybody, all you cacti guys, if you want, let me know.

If you want to go on the air while we're out, while cacti's out,

out let me know i'll give you the password information for the madhouse stream at least

so you have somewhere to be on that's always uh more than welcome dark stranger we're going to

coordinate that anybody who wants to do a conference or wants to be on i saw roxy was

talking about coming back that'd be cool let me know uh blue planet prank radio ted webb and all

them blue planet pranks.com i think it is something like that blue planet prank radio.com

something like that all right and madhouse live.com this episode as well as last week's episode we

We are behind again.

We'll both be uploaded hopefully this weekend.

I'll get on that this weekend.

Do something to do.

I have nothing else for you guys.

Remember, no show next week.

No show next week.

Take a break.

We'll be back the week after that.

That would be the 23rd, if my math is correct.

Right.

Madhouse returns on the 23rd.

August 23rd, Madhouse returns.

See you guys later.

Have a good night.

God bless.

Behave yourselves over the weekend.

No drinking and driving, please.

Stay alive.

55.

We'll be right back.

Calls (43, 1 h 37 min of 3 h)

Transcript

Comments 0