The Poo Poo Show

There's four of us standing here listening to you talk to my husband that way.

Are you all naked and touching each other?

You hear that?

What? Are you kidding?

I'm gonna come in there and I'm gonna, I'm gonna poo on you.

You better show up, you coward motherfucker.

You are hiding behind a telephone.

Yeah.

You piece of shit.

I'm not fucking with you.

I can fuck you, son of a bitch.

Stop making us get the cuttings.

You're out of your crazy mind.

You ain't getting no goddamn dollars.

I'll fuck you.

Oh, my fuck.

Kiss my pussy.

Why don't you piss off?

You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast.

You want a motherfucker?

Fuck you, bitch.

Motherfucker.

Kiss her pussy, milkman.

Yeah.

My pussy.

Do it.

Good evening, everybody.

Madhouse Radio back.

September the 13th.

13th.

Y'all having a beautiful sexual night with yourselves.

I'm Carlito here.

I'm staring at you in the window.

You walk around, no shirt on.

Maybe in your underwear, your panties.

you're listening to me i know you are it's good weather you know right now this is where i'm at

weather's starting to go down a little bit i had to get home i walked around in my underwear you

know open all the windows i keep the blinds down but i open the windows you know let some cool air

in on my nipples on my nips yeah it feels good man it's good man hey milkman how are you

Hey, my name's Tom.

It's way, it's way.

How you doing, brother?

It's good to meet you.

Melodious sounds there.

You're playing good air conditioning going on.

Nothing wrong with the nature boy act.

Hell yeah.

I'm sure Chloe and Mama Son appreciates all that.

Chloe trying to crash the party.

I kicked her out.

I was like, uh-uh, you ain't doing that shit again, bitch.

Get out.

I was like, you got the fuck out.

I put my whiskey in her face.

She's like, ah.

She doesn't like alcohol or drinks.

She ran away.

Yeah.

She sniffs it.

She's like, ew.

She runs away.

She's out of there.

what can i tell you well we're here to do a show we're here to do prank calls we've got a lot of

ideas been floating around all week you know the chat room's all messed up no one has ops in there

it's like uh the wild west you know it's all freaking gunslinging there tonight it's crazy

yeah watch out man it's only for the brave no control in the chat room milkman you have no

control you can't complain about new new opting too many people right taking people voice off

Now you see what you get, Milkman?

Yeah, I fixed it, man.

You can't do that tonight, man.

And then you took everyone else's ops.

Great.

Thanks, Milkman.

Appreciate it.

Thanks a lot, asshole.

Hey, Mono, you're the only one, man.

It's all for you.

So here we are.

Sending you a prank request over at MadHouseLive.com.

That's the main website, MadHouseLive.com.

I'll be accepting them prank requestesses.

If you're using AOL or Yahoo Instant Messenger, you can send your request via that forum also,

Madhouse Radio on AOL

or Yahoo Instant Messenger

and if you're using MSN Messenger

Madhouse at live.com

be sure that you're following our

Twitter feed not much happens on that

Twitter except you'll get a what's up when the

podcast hits which just

hit about 30 minutes ago so if you are

subscribed to the feed

you would have known that finally updated

the podcast with the episode

where what happened with that episode

there's some funny stuff there

and i i'm almost done editing the most recent one from last week i didn't get a chance to finish it

before the show um but milkman is great because not only milkman you were you were asleep for

this milkman fell asleep during last last week's show i hope you're drinking coffee tonight milkman

that's not gonna happen again right no dude i wasn't sleeping man that was somebody playing

a recording yeah right you're snoring like a bitch i heard you you're talking in your sleep

that was terrible dude

I can't believe that somebody would do that

and try to impersonate

that's exactly what happened

keep telling yourself that

on top of that

we got Charlie really good

last week Milkman you missed it dude

Charlie scared him into

thinking his daughter got arrested

which at first he either didn't know

what I was talking about or didn't seem to care

he said yeah your daughter's arrested

he's like uh huh and

like okay that doesn't worry you at all and he got really mad he was just fuck you son of a bitch

you know how he does you know the things he says milkman he went into this long uh asian curse this

time when it's a serious asian curse milkman you had uh you missed that i should play that it's not

edited yet let me see if i can catch it in the hopper i want to hear that now i haven't heard

it since uh last week i haven't gotten to that point yet in the editing uh and i would love to

to hear that hang on let's let's see if we can catch that we're kind of regrouping here or

grouping up rather to start the show see if maybe we can pick up some of the juice of last week's

show a lot of people seem to like i don't know why but they seem to like last week's show maybe

because milkman was asleep for it i said i would say i can't believe someone put a recording man

that's terrible dude yeah i had a recording of you sleeping and talking mumbling in your sleep

five more minutes

which you can't do on the ipad let's see right that is a little bit this is milkman i got audio

over here listen in russia yes what happened she led a protest in a church in russia against the

president of russia vladimir putin she was what day huh this happened this happened about two

hours ago she was arrested and she called the embassy asking for assistance okay can you call

my son i don't know if i have authorization to do that what i'm trying to say do you understand

what arrested is that she's in jail in russia she's under arrest no i don't understand do you

know what jail is yeah i know jail yeah your daughter is in jail in russia in russia in russia

yes give you my number she gave your number to us in the united states embassy you see he's like

It's like taking forever to get it to sink in.

I don't get it.

Moscow and Russia.

Moscow, Russia?

Huh?

She gave us your number to call you to let you know that she's in jail in Russia.

Okay, and how to do that now?

I want to know how to do that.

What do we do?

We can't get her out.

She's going to probably be in Russia for the next 20 years.

And what?

Well, we need you to come to Russia to help to defend her, to take her out.

And what?

Okay, and?

Because she went to the church, and she took a big shit in the church,

and she said that her dad's food tasted like shit in front of all the people.

And then the Russians found out that it's true,

that the food in the Doudrop Inn has shit and piss in it,

and that people take a shit there, and they don't wash their hands.

Your daughter took a shit in the church.

She pulled on her pants and her panties, and she took a piss and shit inside the church.

Can you give me your phone number?

Uh, let's see here.

Huh?

Can you give me your phone number, okay?

You stupid.

Are you stupid?

Why are you talking about you?

You're stupid.

This is serious.

Your daughter's in jail.

You don't care?

You asshole.

My daughter in the jail.

I fuck you, you son of a bitch.

Why are you talking about you?

Your daughter's in jail forever.

We're not going to help her out.

You son of a bitch.

You, you, every time you, you, you want to call a son of a bitch, you.

I got you good this time, didn't I, you stupid asshole?

You're a dickhead.

That's why you missed Milkman while you were sleeping.

That was one of the two calls that we did to him that night.

He said, say, naughty, naughty.

He had some weird Chinese thing he was saying there, Milkman.

Very funny.

Milkman, are you there?

You hear that?

Got him good.

I got you good.

Got him good that time.

Oh, man.

Well, we got to, you know, at some point, we got to get, like,

I don't know what we're going to do next time because he's been so passive lately.

You know, Milkman tried to talk to him and get him mad.

He doesn't react.

And I had to go and find out his daughter's name

and pull up some bullshit that she got arrested.

It even still took him a while to get angry.

Right now there's a big scam going on, you know, like people calling their children, their parents, and telling them all they're in trouble.

I need you to send money to this Western Union here right away.

Don't tell Mama.

That's a good idea. We should try that tonight, Milkman.

Make it some money.

Let's call on the citizens of Charlottesville.

I think he would.

He wouldn't.

Hold on.

They got some people I know for it.

The first time it was for $1,900, and then they tried to call back and double up,

and then finally they figured it out.

Oh, wow.

That's funny.

I didn't follow through with it, but once when I was talking,

actually last week while you were sleeping, Milkman,

I was talking about a prank that I did once where I got helicopters to go out in Bosnia

to pick up one of my friends who was in the war back in 2000, 2001 or something.

He was stationed out there.

and it was super bowl night like 2000 or something i don't know exactly when it was but

i remember that same night i called some old guy a random some random number and the guy thought i

was as a matter of fact the guys remember he said charlie he thought the name was charlie charlie

hensley i think he said and he thought i was his son or his brother named charlie and i told him

that i got in trouble with some bad people i made a bet on the super bowl and i lost like

$5,000. He's like, oh, I'll send you

some money. Western Union, you need some money.

He said that himself and I was like,

I got scared and I told him no

but he was actually going to go through with it.

He himself was like, oh,

I'll wire you some money. Don't worry about it.

Charlie will take care of it.

That social engineering thing that Brad Carter

does, man. That's why Brad Carter's

all locked up. Oh, Charlie.

Charlie's up too. Charlie! Hey, buddy.

Hey, man.

Is your daughter okay?

Okay, did you find your daughter?

Is she okay?

Who is that?

This is Cross.

I called you last week that your daughter got in trouble in Russia.

No, no, no.

No, not trouble.

You're crazy.

No, she was in jail.

She's a bad, she's a dirty girl.

She does bad things in the jail.

Hey, what's your name?

I want to call police, you know.

No, no.

I'll be careful of you.

And do what?

And what?

I say you be careful.

I call police already.

Please catch you, okay?

They catching me?

What are they going to do?

Yeah.

They don't care about you.

You're stupid.

You call them.

Calm down.

Okay.

Take it easy.

Look, man, we can't mess with him.

He's got the police on us and they're going to catch you.

Be careful of you.

Be careful.

You're going to catch me.

There you go.

Book a police or runner.

or t-dogs has offered to meet him at a neutral location anyway rbcp's been doing some uh ground

work for us he's got uh the big time of year milkman and i was talking to him about all this

too uh this year um layaway is big milkman you ever get anything on layaway you ever do the

layaway thing that's stupid right why not just why can't you save the money yourself

layaway's retarded you go you go to so you go to walmart and you're like i want to get this boom

boombox and you say all right i can't pay for it now so i'm going to tell them to hold it for me

and then i'll come in and make three payments and then i'll get it after the third payment

why can't you just save the money on your own what's the point it seems like a lot of hassle

i don't understand why can't you just set money aside for three months and then come and just buy

this stupid boombox right exactly well uh brad called a uh uh department store and got some

some people who have items on layaway,

so we got that to call tonight.

We also have The Arm, who's come through.

It appears, if rumors are correct,

we have the actual cell phone number for the tech guy.

You're a big fan of his shows, Leo Laporte.

I know you're a big fan of the tech guy, right, Milkman?

Oh, yeah.

I'm a big fan. I watch his Twitter, like, every day.

Even though I like Leo Laporte less and less each time.

um he's a big he's a big mac show wow yeah he is you're you're right yeah and then yeah he he was

doing the mac coverage the apple announcement yesterday and he's just so fucking retarded i

was like oh god leo come on man seriously he's all fawning over it he was fawning and fawning over

over it hey jen stewart's here hey jenny hey hey man how are you i'm all right have you started

yet yeah we started man you started already what the hell i thought fucking nine ten o'clocks yeah

well that's that's uh about 30 minutes ago so yeah was it really i thought sorry i thought it

was four o'clock in the morning not three o'clock in the morning you gotta look at your computer

man google will tell you say what time is it on madhouse time and i'll tell you that's all you

gotta put oh yeah okay all right next time i'll do that sorry yeah so how are you i heard so i

saw you in the olympics you did pretty bad huh you're a cunt you're a cunt you're a real cunt

i didn't fail what the hell is wrong with you you're a champion you're a champion in my you're

you're our champion you're the madhouse champion of archery of missing in archery yeah that's good

At least you didn't hit the other target like that one guy did in Athens, the American.

Yeah, he shot the other guy with an arrow and it went through the other guy's head and his brain came out of his ear.

Yeah, at least you didn't do that.

Very good.

Good deal.

Well, Jin's here.

Good.

We're safe now.

Now we got a plan.

Yeah.

All right.

So, good to hear from you.

Milkman's here also, so he's your good friend.

Hi, Milkman.

Yeah.

Hey, Milkman.

Hey.

Congratulations on the Olympics, man.

I heard you did well, man.

Yeah, came home with a...

You don't take the piss, you know that.

He came home with an honorable mention.

Listen, Milkman swears up and down he's never fallen asleep on a show.

Didn't you say he fell asleep on one of your shows?

He sleeps on every show, man.

He's like, he's a stoner, you know.

He just lights up...

Yeah, he was sleeping, snoring his ass off last week.

That won't move, man.

I'll never do that.

get out of here milkman with your sleeping ass go take a nap milkman listen we got numbers here

to get to old man needs his nap that's what it was light one up light one up man do it milkman

smoke some drugs all right i got numbers here we got a number that came in earlier during the

week from big dustin number for andrew lazy ass roommate who won't get a job and thinks mommy

Omni will supply him with money all the time.

He is 25 years old and drives a VW Jetta with turbo and thinks it will beat anyone.

All right, cool.

We're going to go to race wars, man.

It was in Illinois.

Oh, man.

Volkswagens, when they run good, they run good.

But, man, if one thing goes wrong with a Volkswagen, you're looking at a lot of money to get it fixed, and it's going to take forever.

Nothing but bad stories about that.

Jin drives a bike and rides a bike everywhere.

Yeah, I have a motorcycle.

I'm pretty cool.

You smell like petrol all the time

It makes you smell like gas

Not gasoline, petrol

Sorry, but the person you called

Has a voicemail box that has not been set up

Ah, Dustin, he's unanswered

I'll try him in a little bit

He sent that during the week

I'm trying to get to those early here

So they don't go stale

Did I miss anything?

No, no, just bullshitting

And I replayed a prank from last week

Where the guy got mad and yelled

Not much, you know

The guy got mad and yelled

Yeah, imagine that

okay all right uh we got another another number here from big polaris says uh kirby tell him he's

out of the band if he says anything about why tell him it's for drinking way too much milk

that milkman call him call him a fat squid don't tell him that we replaced him with a guitar

machine guitar machine maybe freestyle it a little bit on this guy he may be no fun to prank

but he might get real pissed okay well let's hope for the pissed part kirby this guy he's

named after a vacuum cleaner let's try him guys ain't playing no fucking games either i don't

play i never play games i might take a nap might fall asleep on the show might even blame somebody

for kirby remember that game kirby the guy was made out of marshmallow game stupid kirby was a

fag what's the train set people hornby lionel hello hello kirby hello is this kirby that's me

hey kirby uh you're out of the band we're kicking you out of the band oh that's fine yeah because

Because you suck and you drink too much.

Too much milk.

Oh, that's fine.

How much milk do you drink?

Tonight, like two glasses.

Why?

Why do you drink so much milk?

Do you know how much pus is in milk?

What's that?

You know how much pus is in milk?

A lot.

It's like 12% pus.

Yep.

Mm-hmm.

It's disgusting.

Do you like chocolate milk?

It's all right.

What do you like more?

Whole milk?

Skim milk?

Chocolate milk?

What do you like?

I like a little skim.

You like a little skim milk?

Yeah.

You know what's good?

You take skim milk, and you can drop in a little bit of that non-dairy creamer.

It tastes just like whole milk.

You don't even know.

And it doesn't add any more calories to it or fat.

Serious?

Yeah, I'm serious.

Yeah, it's a big trick that you do when you're on a diet.

If you're going to move to skim milk from 2% or something,

you put some non-dairy creamer, and it helps out.

Yeah, try it.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, and you're a fat squid also, I understand, according to the papers here.

Do people call you fat squid and make fun of you or something?

Oh, they did in, like, elementary school.

Oh, yeah.

I think someone passed on your information that they don't like you and they said you

were a fat squid.

Oh, wow.

Also, you play the guitar?

I do.

Can you have your guitar there now?

With me now?

No, I'm out walking.

Oh, where are you going?

Me?

I'm heading down to the gas store to get some cigarettes.

You need to get some milk, too?

Probably not.

I think I'm sad I forgot to check.

Oh, you're good on milk.

Well, that's good.

That's good.

All right.

Well, yeah.

That's all I got for you.

you yeah this is uh if it wasn't walking i'd have to sit down and take this but it's an ultimate

deal yeah no worries try that thing when i'm telling you skim milk and some non-dairy cream

or you'd be amazed yeah that sounds fucking awesome i'll call you next week when you let

me know how it worked out for you all right give it a try this weekend definitely man take it easy

all right man god bless you see ya what the fuck i'm gonna talk to that guy he's a nice guy

shit he's just he's just so chilled out wasn't he like well yeah well yeah they call me fat

That's good.

Whatever.

All right.

Cool.

But that's the thing, though.

You take skim milk and non-dairy creamer.

Another thing, if you cook beef, Jin, I don't know if you like beef at all.

Yeah, I love beef.

If you cook beef and chicken stock, it'll taste just like chicken.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Cow meat, beef meat is a certain way that it absorbs.

It's very good at absorbing all the flavors around it.

And when you introduce chicken stock, because it comes from meat,

it has those same enzymes that are in

natural protein meat

it is really super

absorbed into it and it'll be

just like you're eating

beef textured chicken

insane! Is that right? Fucking Gordon Ramsay

over here! Right!

It's raw! Gordon Ramsay

It's fucking raw! It's raw!

Did you see that? That's crazy

I love that show, yeah, I missed

I only saw half of the American version

this year, this last season

it ended last weekend and I

I only saw half of it.

I've got to catch up.

It's Hell's Kitchen over there.

Hell's Kitchen, yeah.

But he's got about four shows that are on.

They show the BBC here.

They show Kitchen Nightmares, and there's an American version of Kitchen.

I like the British version, though.

It's good.

Yeah, it's pretty funny.

Although the American version is really dramatized.

The Hell's Kitchen USA has more action in it than the British one.

like uh there was there was in the american one i've never actually seen gordon really close to

a fight and in the american one there actually was one where some guy came up to him he's like

i ain't no bitch i was like what that was awesome yeah you saw that he spent three episodes in a

row like like what's up like doing that to gordon rousey and then finally like he took his jacket

i was like yo i ain't no bitch yeah that was it and then he tripped up at the end and gordon's

like oh yeah watch your step on the way out yeah yeah yeah that's epic man gordon he said he's got

that one show where he goes to restaurants and he's like really mean and tells them why everything

they do does sucks and he kicks him out for a week and they come oh yeah yeah gordon ramsay's f word

where he goes into the restaurants and sort of repairs their businesses yeah that's kind of fun

to watch i like watching it yeah gordon ramsay and speaking of milk and food and stuff uh and

fat squids uh i was privy last week i was watching uh battle cam zolar and shit and i'm watching and

that guy alky david comes on and he's like yeah if anyone could drink a gallon of milk in 10 minutes

uh i'll send you 150 dollars i'm like oh in 10 minutes yeah because i've heard i've heard the

bat on every radio station has done this where they have an intern and they say the intern has

to drink a gallon of milk in an hour and we'll give him money or you know we'll you know he's he

he that's his you know we're hazing him he's gonna drink a gallon of milk in an hour or something

like that and you can't do it it's so much lactic acid your body just throws it up you know what

yeah it's no one can do that it's like physically impossible a gallon of milk in 10 minutes yeah

that's what the bet was so all right prank do i need a cam for this no i'm not doing it but

prank man yeah i guess you do yeah you do so uh prank master major chaos whoever he is now

he did it and he was throwing up live on the video like throwing up puking and he threw up

all over his laptop and he fried the laptop jesus it was so nasty but he did it you got to give it

to the kid man but four and a half liters in 10 minutes that's uh yeah oh that was bad baby

it was bad man that's milk for you milk milkman now you're a dairy fan isn't it true i could do

it in an hour semi skim milk a liter no four and a half liters in one hour that's that's easy

it can't be you can't be skim milk it's gotta be whole milk oh whole milk no i don't think i don't

think you can do skim milk either man it's the acid gets to you you can't your body doesn't

you're just gonna throw it up i don't know i don't know i'm not gonna well i'm gonna send

you a gallon of skim milk to the uk from here no because i could just go to the shop and buy

one and just show you the label yeah do i doubt i don't know i i think it's possible i think that

That is – I think it's definitely possible.

I've never –

Ten minutes, I don't know, but within an hour, that's definitely possible.

I'll give you an hour to drink a gallon of milk and you will not survive.

Without throwing up.

Without throwing up, you can do it.

I like a challenge, you know.

I really do.

There you go.

That's your challenge.

Do it.

Do it on your own time, too, if you want.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

I think I'll do it, all right?

I think I'll do it, and then I'll put it on the webcam.

There you go.

And then you can put it on your madhouse show.

On the podcast.

Yeah.

All right.

All right, so let's take a quick look at the chat room, see what's going on,

where no one has ops tonight because of the computer.

Oh, we got ops again.

Milkman, it's fixed.

Hey.

Oh, what?

It's down.

Yeah, man.

Good.

We're safe.

All right.

This is great.

Things are looking up.

Nunu is sending in information for the Ugandan embassy in Australia.

They hate gays even more than Iran.

Be a gay going on honeymoon to Uganda.

Maybe ask what gay-friendly facilities they have, and if you can hold the wedding there.

Ghana is almost as bad

here in Ghana

the Uganda thing

there's a viral video out there

you ever see the one where the

priest in Uganda

there's all these crazy laws about gays in Uganda

what

what happened apparently was they didn't they didn't make

make a big deal in uganda about homosexuals until these christians from america christian ministers

went over there selling books and doing these preaching revivals and stuff to make money

and they made it one of their big things was like uh you know uganda is going to be destroyed by

homosexuals unless you stop it look at america and and this and that and uh so then they started

passing all these laws in uganda to make it illegal to be gay and like if you're gay uh the

the village has the right to bring you in the middle of the street and kill

you and chop you up and all this shit.

Yeah.

Like they really like took it seriously.

So like they murder gays in the streets and stuff.

It's almost as bad as Jamaica.

Yeah.

Well,

there's this,

I know.

Let me see if I can find the audio is hilarious.

There's this preacher,

Ugandan preacher.

And he's talking about,

he's showing evidence about the gay agenda.

And he's talking about the gays eat,

uh,

eat the poo poo.

He's like,

And they go and they eat the poo-poo.

It's hilarious.

Hang on, I want to hear this now.

Uganda gay poo-poo.

Yeah, look, it came right up.

This has been out for a few years.

I first saw this like two years ago.

National Task Force Against Homosexuality in Uganda is what it's called.

Here, listen to this.

Good morning, everyone.

My name is Pastor Dr. Martin Semper.

I'm here in the capacity as the chairman of the National Task Force Against Homosexuality in Uganda.

under we are making legislation to make sure that sodomy and homosexuality never sees the light of

legality in this land of the pearl of africa taking time to do a little research to know

what homosexuals do in the privacy of their bedroom one of the thing they do is called

anal leaking where a man's anus is leaked like this by the other person like ice cream and then

what happens even poopoo comes out the other poopoo is out and then they eat the poopoo

the other one they do is they have a sex practice called fisting where they insert their hand into

the other man's hand and it goes all the into the ns all the way and it is so painful they have to

take drugs but they enjoy it now if we have any children please step out this is a parental

mental guidance moment that child can be moved out so i've done research this is what they do

number one you can see a man here having sucked the other person's rectum and the other person

is poo-pooing and this one is eating the poo-poo all over the place tell me when you have a law

Oh, against homosexuality.

Do you say, except eating poopoo?

I mean, look at these guys sincerely.

Bishop.

Ah, stutterful lies.

Hajat, we do not want this sickness.

This is sick and it's therefore deviant.

We do not want it.

Now, they start off by touching each other's genitals and smelling each other.

Then this one smears the poopoo all over the other person's face.

as if that is not enough he puts the hand deeper as africans we want to ask barack obama to explain

to us is this what he wants to bring to africa as a human right to eat the poopoo

you see what i mean that is fucking extreme though i mean wow he had to get the most

extreme gay porn like what the fuck is he looking for i like how he says he did research so yeah he

He sat in his laptop in some hut somewhere with some satellite internet connection

and looked up, you know, men shitting.

Yeah, that is just fucking extreme.

That is so weird.

Like, wow.

That's a horrible, horrible, horrible thing.

Yeah, that was all that.

But he's right.

I mean, that kind of shit porn is just fucking, it's absolutely disgusting.

It's disgusting.

It's horrible.

I don't think any percentage of gay people

are really into eating shit

just my guess

it's really bizarre

I don't actually think it's just limited to gays either

no

there's creepy white people that do that

mostly

I linked that in the chat room per request

if you really want to see that

but good god

that's really old

that was before I moved to Orlando

I first saw that documentary

that explained that

i never brought it up on the show i meant to i thought it was it's hilarious audio the guys is

like and they eat the poo-poo they eat the poo-poo is this what they want to eat the poo-poo we should

ask barack obama if he wanted us to eat the poo-poo of our children of africa and they're like no

and if you see the video that there's people in the crowd like crying and like shocked like oh my

my god this is what this is what barack obama was like how did he how do you yeah like barack

obama comes up i want everyone to eat the shit yeah i want to eat the poo poo everybody eat your

poo poo that's what gays are about i'm for that i'm barack obama i approve this message all right

so there's that good idea nunu we'll talk about the poo poo let's go to the shit let's do it now

Now, shit, Ugandan embassy...

You need to find somebody who's into this kind of thing.

I'm going to call the embassy in Australia for Uganda

and ask them about eating the poo-poo.

Tell them you're a producer for this kind of shit porn

and you want to make a video.

In Uganda.

Ain't no leaky, leaky ice cream.

He put the hand inside the hand.

I mean, inside the anus.

Person with the number cannot answer your call.

Please leave a message after the tone.

No, leave a message.

No, no, what's going on?

Your number, I'll try it again.

It didn't ring.

Maybe they're on the line right now, talking about poo-poo.

Yeah.

It's one of those call-in lines, you know.

Yeah, the full documentary is interesting.

There's, like, one gay guy in Uganda, and he's like,

yeah, all my neighbors ratted me out, and they tried to kill me, and I ran away.

I was in the closet for a while.

The person with the number, zero.

no it's uh i'll try it again later noon or see if you can find anybody anywhere else

uh he says ghana is just as bad and this is the embassy for ghana speaking of embassies and

ambassadors man so they uh is it who is it our ambassador the united states ambassador

the libya got killed uh yesterday or two days ago was it now at this point got killed in a

rocket attack he got asphyxiated by some crazy crowd and people are trying to see was a qaddafi

loyalists that did it was it uh al-qaeda that did it as a coordinated attack crazy man i don't know

anything about this yeah the uh american ambassador to libya was attacked his envoy his convoy was

attacked or whatever and they killed him he got killed by there was a some kind of crowd some

kind of riot and then he got killed in the rocket attack and it looks like it was made to look like

it was the the crowd that did it but the video that came out the crowd was actually trying to

help him out the crowd like rescued him and took him to the hospital uh but it's coming out now

that looks like it was either qaddafi loyalists like from before the regime changed military

people uh did a coordinated attack on the anniversary of 9-11 to get him um or might

have been al-qaeda or a combination of the two uh you know the yeah that number's not even going

going through new you gotta check it check the ghana embassy the last time that libyans killed

innocent americans ronald reagan uh blew up like a fucking village and killed qaddafi's sister or

something he killed his daughter and shit where what what's going on this time around i'm not

saying that i'm i'm a republican or i'm against obama or that i think he's soft on foreign policy

but fuck by now i'm pretty sure by now reagan had had a whole bunch of fucking uh missiles and

fucking f-15s over libya destroyed the fuck out of a bunch of killed a bunch of libyans killed

like a few hundred libyans because two two or three marines got blown up in uh in germany

you americans are your politics man come on man it was an m you're not supposed to do that to an

ambassador though man he's an ambassador he's got diplomatic immunity but the truth is uh they

should have never taken qaddafi out qaddafi never should should not and that that was an american

by the way that was you british that was a british thing that was a british idea and a

french idea me yeah i know nothing about you but you're gonna say that you're americans that was a

british and french uh operation they yeah the british government and the french government

didn't want qaddafi there anymore because he was stopping the uh he wasn't going along with

british petroleum and all that um uh with their operations in libya look man wake up don't fall

all sleep stay up don't do it oh scotland yeah obama went fundraising in vegas saying yeah

american city airstrikes you're right all right hb go hg balmer we did do the airstrikes i guess

it was it was a nato operation i don't know whatever whatever okay i'm just saying see what

we got what other numbers we got here in request a prank lonesome loser is here that's good lonesome

is in the house he is lonesoming around goofy foot surf school goofy foot surf school in

In Hawaii.

All right, cool.

We got that from Lonesome to get to.

I'm so happy the chat room's got the ops again.

Makes us look professional.

Lonesome has got to change his name, though, if we want to be more professional.

Let's see.

Sportyboard says he sent in a prank request asking us to call Zappos again because the joke had changed.

The joke changed.

Hey, man.

Milkman, you hear that?

The Zappos joke changed.

You did what?

The joke of the day at Zappos finally changed, apparently.

We got some intel here from Sportyboard.

Check that out.

Hell yeah.

All right.

All right, well, let's see if we really have Leo Laporte.

I'm confused as to whether or not this is Leo Laporte or not.

I've got strong intel here.

Confidence is high that this is the real.

Now, we've talked to Leo Laporte Sr. before, his dad, who I've seen on Twit.

He's come in once or twice, the Twit network.

He came in once or twice, and Leo's like, this is my dad, Leo Sr.

Yeah, that's it.

Holy shit, that is Leo Laporte.

That's his voice.

Yeah, that's his number.

He didn't pick up.

That's his number.

I'm not going to leave a weird voicemail.

I want him to answer, hopefully once.

All right, cool.

I'm definitely saving that.

Maybe because it came from Skype as a block number.

He didn't answer it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, wow.

You see that milk, man?

Look at that.

The arm.

Check.

Yeah, all right, the arm.

Good work, arm.

The arms have really been coming through every week lately.

The arm, a.k.a.

FBI Steve.

For all of you, a lot of people ask, who the fuck is the arm?

The arm is anybody.

Anytime I get a secret number or someone's in something secret or we get some kind of

a secret video or audio i always say it's the arm just because it sounds funny there's no the arm

there's about it's a conglomeration of when you guys come through with some really good info

uh you know some good hodge dodgery info if if i refer to you as the arm that means that you've

done a really good job you should be really proud of if you've ever been uh contributed a number or

something to the show and i refer to you as the arm that means you've done that's that's like a

do super gold star i was like 10 gold stars in once man so i there we go yeah look man good

gold star for you uh the arm tonight fbi steve i got a whole box of gold stars again milkman

thanks for buying those i appreciate it we got a whole bunch of them all over again

sent that to me on gort i appreciate it now uh jen do you have a gort account we'll be doing

gort no no i don't even know what it is yeah you should get gort it lets you uh transfer files and

and anything.

Not just, yeah, you can transfer

commodities and everything.

Like an email.

Yeah, G-O-R-T, GORT.

And I'm MadhouseLive on GORT.

And Milkman, what are you, Milkman420

on GORT, I think?

Yeah, I'm fast as hell, dude.

You ought to get it.

Yeah, I get GORT, man. G-O-R-T.

Everyone, go out there,

add me in Milkman, Milkman420 on GORT,

and MadhouseLive on GORT.

I just put GORT into Google,

and all I've got is weird results.

You've got to look in there somewhere.

I think it's gort.ru, something like that.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, keep looking.

You'll find it.

All right, we've got a number for the tobacco quitting line here.

This one came from The Cobra.

He says, MPSA Cobra says,

Call to speak to a quit coach.

You could talk about how you don't want to quit

because you're afraid of being constipated.

You get constipated when you quit smoking?

That's bad.

Smoking keeps me regular,

and you have to smoke while taking a shit

in the toilet

also you could ask how long it takes for you to

shit if you're using the patch

these are all good questions

very good questions

gold star for you just for the questions

I like it very good

very focused

he's pushing them out

alright let's call the quit line

you don't smoke you don't do anything bad

do you ever drink at all

again do you ever start drinking

no no no

No, not doing that, not into that.

Porno's the only thing you do, right?

That's bad?

That's it, yeah, that's it.

The poo-poo?

Yeah, I was just about to say, yeah.

You are German, so...

Yeah, thanks.

The scheisse.

Scheisse.

Common's my scheisse.

Your call is important to us.

Please spell out your full name and phone number with area code,

and we will call you back as soon as possible.

Thank you.

I'm going to crop prank that, man.

Come on, Cobra.

Come on, man.

Take away is go star.

Milkman.

That's wrong, man.

Did you even confirm that?

Did you even think?

Did you ever think?

Stupid.

You're stupider than Charlie Psy.

Damn it, man.

All right.

Sporty Board sending in the number for Zappos.

Let's see what the new joke of the day is here.

You could have mixed that in, though.

That would have been such a great number with that smoking and the constipation.

You could have mixed that in with the poo-poo or something.

The poo-poo.

I'm just smoking for the poo-poo.

It makes the poo-poo come up.

Thank you for allowing us to put a little Zappos in your day.

Shut up.

Hi, this is Tyler, and I'm a member of the ZCLT stat team,

and I'm here with your joke of the day.

So two muffins are sitting in an oven.

That's the same joke!

One muffin says to the other,

Boy, it's sure hot in here.

And the other muffin says,

That's not the different joke, Jen.

I know you haven't been around for that.

Jen, let me tell Jen, I want to tell her my funny version.

You're German, you might like this.

What did one Jewish muffin say to the other Jewish muffin inside the oven?

I don't know.

We should take a shower.

Get it?

Because they're Jewish.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, because the Jews, they got...

I like that.

Yeah, I get it.

The Nazis would gas the Jews, you know, to kill them.

Yeah.

Your grandfather would gas them, the little Jews.

Poor guy.

My grandfather, oh, my gosh.

I think he was working against the Nazis.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They all were.

Every German person...

Oh, no, my grandparents were there.

They were on the underground.

around yeah they were in the catholic church they weren't into that at all you can't it's true it's

true they were forced into the what is it what's the one they were forced into the the youth

the hitler youth yeah that's what they were well they had to it was that they didn't you know but

he ran away a few times and they catch him and make him go back like the pope says the same thing

all right zapple all right so i need to call i can't say much more than that without giving

giving the whole thing away.

I can guarantee it is something the Madhouse will enjoy.

Wait a minute.

What?

I need to call Zappos back regarding the joke.

So, all right.

I should ask someone about the joke of the day?

All right.

Let me try it again.

Maybe there's something going on over there.

I doubt it.

They have so many people there that deal with the joke of the day.

All right, I'll call them again, Sporty Board.

Yeah, you should give them your version.

Ask for Sambo this time.

For allowing us to put a little Zappos in your day.

Oh, no, no, no.

He says it had saying.

I'm Terry, and I...

It says on Wednesday it was about horse.

but maybe it's maybe every day it's a different okay they only have seven jokes that's what's

going on he says he checked it yesterday and the joke was about a horse that would have been

awesome man so what they just rotate seven jokes yeah isn't that pretty weak that's pretty stupid

right yeah that's pretty shit yeah that's shit joke of the day my ass joke of the year all right

like your weekly joke of the year or something all right so we got a prank here from rbcp's

home phone milkman has lost all his pigs and needs help rounding them up we got a number here

from animal farm okay milkman has lost all his pigs and needs help rounding them up that's all

i got to go with here animal farm mm-hmm animal farm that's a good book george orwell yeah it's

a good book about the russian revolution there you go yeah you didn't know that i did know that

yeah oh remember when they kill the horse when they take the horse away

the horse is too old so they took him away poor horse this is about animal farm this is the animal

farm animal farm yeah so there's no animals here english well i was just curious there's a

do you control animals there at all we control animals yeah we do all right how soon can you

dispatch out someone about a horse and some pigs that are loose what do you mean you thought i was

was joking i said county emergency communications and you said are the animals here yeah about the

animals you guys handle the animals there all right who would handle animals emergency animals

they're outside where like on the street they're congregating on what street on full on uh peach

street at number 404 uh-huh yeah six six six six yes sir and the should be a concern like the

animals have red eyes or you'd have to contact them they're frothing at the mouth i don't know

There's nothing you guys can do?

I understand the contact number I gave you.

It's kind of scary.

I gave you.

Okay.

And what number is that?

Is that the animal?

The number that I just gave you is the number you'd have to call.

Is it animal control?

City of Atlanta for Peachtree.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

And they can help me out with the animals that have gone wild?

Yes, sir.

You'd have to call that number.

Now, the animals are sprinting around, so if they're in Fulton County now.

There's nothing else in our jurisdiction.

You'd have to contact that number.

What are the animals in Fulton County?

County.

someone tried to send in a number for uh what was it for emergency services emergency services what

the hell i didn't get it that's really stupid you whoever it was just got ghost clicked so guess

what you're not you just got ghost clicked man you know that's stupid so enjoy your time being

banned from the show in all forms and fashion you just lost everything everything milkman

milkman initiate ghost click on that ip address i'm gonna send it to you

wow wow bye bye asshole say goodbye to him that asshole that did that say goodbye to rbcp's home

phone number who messed up with us jill didn't sound like junkyard willie was it you t-dog t-dogs

in atlanta was that you that did that you stupid man good old whiskey man i'm loving this whiskey

stuff uh jen you should try a whiskey no thank you no come on man what about you like japanese

stuff what about sake sake right swine yeah no um i tried it but it's not really my thing i

I don't really like the taste of alcohol, to say the least, to be fair.

Okay.

Try a girl drink.

We got a number in Atlantic City from Bass Player.

Bass Player.

Nothing to number.

I found a book of matches with the word yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and this number.

I called it, and the guy cursed me out because I said I called the wrong number.

He seems confused.

My best bet is call for a prostitute or drugs.

All right, cool.

This would be a big thing, right?

With matchbooks, people leave numbers on matchbooks.

something like that

I was bringing it back

that was like the 70s

since the milkman

was like in his 30s

the number you have dialed

is not valid

check the number

and try your call again

you're setting in

these fucking numbers

I don't know

pissing me off

these guys

let me copy paste it again

just in case

I miss the digit

I'm sorry

the number you have dialed

is not valid

check the number

and try your call again

message 33

PHL

what's that

there's a thing

like i know message 33 is just saying what it's for testing purposes the message that it's playing

and then the digit at the end i think it's supposed to be the switch that come came from

but doesn't really apply in real world anymore it just says it i just want to sound cool the

phone losers could tell you they know all about that they got all the technical manuals all right

we got a number for grandpa grandpa this guy thinks i'm his grandson tom grandpa grandpa

possibly yeah i gotta scratch my ear you guys are gonna hear some ruffling there we go uh i never

pick up but when i correct him he still leaves sweet messages about how he misses his grandson

tom with recipes for soups asking how the family is and just asking how to set up his router

if you just say you're tom and how you just went camping you can go from there okay cool i wouldn't

say you were tom i would say you were tom's friend or something like tom's gay lover or something

tom's dumb boyfriend i would say tom's he might he might catch you out if you're if you're tommy

i'll ask you a question or something yeah about his yeah i'm tom's friend good point yeah yes hi

grandpa no joe hi hi okay tom tom coop uh-huh oh yeah what's up where's grandpa you want grandpa

Yeah.

Just a minute.

Hurry up.

Hello.

Hello, Grandpa.

Yes.

Hey, I'm a friend of Tom's.

He said to give you a call.

A friend of...

Tom.

Tom's?

Uh-huh.

Tom who?

Your grandson, Tom.

Yes.

He said to give you a call about your router, that you need help with your router.

To give me a call about my what?

Your internet computer router.

My router on my internet computer.

What's the matter?

Well, you were having problems setting it up.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

The router is working fine and the computer is working very well.

Oh.

I have no problem with it at all.

Oh, okay.

My name is Bill and me and Tom, we go camping together.

Did you know he likes to go camping?

Oh, there are three Toms in the family.

Uh-huh.

And you're with the one that went camping.

Yes.

No, it isn't a router. What I'm having a problem with, I have a small unit that would transfer the tapes that you have, and you run it into the computer, and I can't just set it up.

I don't know how to set it up.

I mean, there is a little disc with it, but I'm just, well, I'm just forgetting about it at the present time.

Why do you forget?

Do you have amnesia or Alzheimer's?

Pardon?

Do you have Alzheimer's?

See, I don't hear too well.

Do you have Alzheimer's?

Do

I have a timer?

Alzheimer's disease, where you forget things?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, yeah.

No, nothing like that, no.

No, I might be 83 years old, but I think I'm pretty sharp.

Oh, good. Yeah, Tom said that starting last year you were having trouble,

that you took a shower, but you kept your socks on in the shower.

Yeah, well, listen, you tell my grandson, Tom, that everything is running fine.

I'm going to go to his house now. We're going to be kissing and touching each other.

Oh, okay.

Well, whatever happens, happens.

Just enjoy yourself.

Oh, we enjoy ourselves a lot.

We do drugs together, and we smoke marijuana and reefers.

Yeah, right, yeah, right.

And I kiss him.

He takes his shirts off, all of his T-shirts.

You better not get into that stuff.

That's no good for you.

We've been doing it for two years now.

Yeah, I know.

Well, you want to get away from it.

Well, every time you call, he's like, it's my stupid grandpa.

again calling to bother me about some stupid he said the other day he said he's a son of a bitch

he said that grand son of a bitch grandpa's calling again yeah well listen i don't like

language like that either so why don't you just hang the phone up and do what you're gonna do

listen what how about how about i apologize for talking like that i'm sorry yeah well listen

And have a good night

Hey, listen, one more thing

Hello?

Yeah, what?

Tom, he does what's called, you know, anal licking

You know what that is?

That's when he licks my anus like it's ice cream

I don't know what

I don't even know what you're talking about

Anyway, it's quite late

And make the poo-poo come out

You have a good evening

He eats my poo-poo

He sounded quite nice

He sounded like a nice guy

Yeah, but he doesn't play

he doesn't play games

when it comes to anal licking

you heard him he's like I don't want to hear about that

stay away from that

he's Ugandan

you know what we should do we should try to get a hold of a

Ugandan embassy and

ask them about

animal sex people having sex with animals

because that's almost just as sick

it's probably okay for them

we should find out

they're probably like oh yeah we could do that

just don't eat the poo-poo you're all right all right got a number for steve steve call up steve

he's 34 and gay i'm calling his cross from dateline that i have called steven out being

concerned about his activities online uh-huh say i'm aware of his activities online and how he

spoke to underage girls in chat rooms pull up a chat log and share with him and after you share

the chat log accuse him of being a pedophile if he asks which girl you're talking about say it's

irrelevant and you wish to protect her identity okay and it looks like i he sent an actual copy

of a chat log that this guy has well that's interesting this is chris hansen dateline mvc

yeah i think we've done this kind of prank before though actually hey kalita i need to reconnect to

your thing because i'm getting an echo my thing okay go ahead do that yeah i'm in you good

Good? Working?

Yeah, yeah.

No, I'm still hearing it.

No.

I might fix it soon.

You got an Echo, Milkman?

What about you, Milkman?

No, I got a coffee.

You can talk to her.

Very good.

All right, we'll try this, Chris.

I don't think this is going to go anywhere,

but we'll try the Steve thing for you here, Maricon.

And then we'll get to some lonesome numbers.

Hopefully we'll see if Nunu's found any embassies.

You need a better pretense for this call.

What you need to do is tell him that you're basically your sister or something.

That someone very young that you know has been chatting with this guy.

and you got his number

and something like that.

And it's very inappropriate.

No answer there.

Why are you calling

for a black number?

Why call me

a black number, man?

All right.

Well, we're out

of Request a Prank,

so we'll move on

to Lonesome Pranks.

I got a number here

for Goofy Foot Surf School

in Hawaii.

Surf School.

Yeah.

If you feel like doing a prank,

let me know, Jen.

Any time.

Yeah, not with my Echo.

that's really weird yeah sorry man i could try to reset the call might be on my end to be honest

hi big jenny how are you fine how can i help you good yeah i'm looking for my surfboard i need to

get some replacement parts for it um yeah we're a surf school we don't do we don't um we're not

like a surf shop oh well do you guys teach yeah well then do you guys teach the whole thing where

you when you're going on the board and you're going down and you jump and you grab the board

on one end and you do like a spin and you'll land on all four wheels again no we're a beginning

surf school oh what about when you go up the half pipe and you like twist in the air and you come

back down none of that oh do you do any racing there thank call no hello this is cross don't

be silly so what do you teach then how do i learn to skate it's a surf school okay yeah hun yeah do

Do you provide, like, the skateboards and all that?

Oh, my gosh.

Who is this?

This is Cross.

I'm curious about...

I wanted to get replacement parts.

I stole this...

I'm really going to hang up.

No, totally don't.

I'm going to figure out who this is.

This is Cross Lopez.

All right.

Can I help you book a surf lesson?

Yeah, but I want to make sure that they teach me how to get on all four wheels and do the wheelie thing.

Okay, I'm going to go.

I'm asking them to do surf school.

Come on.

Please.

She sounded really fit.

You think so?

Mm, definitely, definitely.

Nice tan on her, you think?

Yeah.

Nice tan, nice tan legs.

Muscular tan legs, probably, right?

She's sharp, dude.

Like, she ratted you out within a second.

Like, she sniffed you out.

Like, oh, my God, he's a pink car.

All right, we got a pizza parlor here.

Hang on, let me reset the call.

Milkman, I'm going to call you back first, and then Jen, all right?

See if I can get rid of his echo.

Jen?

Yeah.

I'll call you back.

Okay.

All right.

Milkman, I'm going to call you back.

Get ready.

10-4.

Stand for play music music thing here also known as a song I'm gonna restart Skype altogether that seems to help when this happens

It's the noise canceling that gets messed up the killer from the task manager Skype never shuts down completely

Just a moment folks. Please enjoy the following music while your party is being reached

Alright, let me get Jim back. Haha. Oh, sorry, man. Are you there on mute? Yeah

No, I got the first thing I said like, you know, it's on busy

so i don't hear the thing so i'm looking at the chat and i'm like why isn't this guy calling me

back i was is it echoing sorry man echo is hello hello tesla echo's gone all right we did it i knew

we could do it you you genius man so smart yeah i rebooted the router ah okay i did not uh let me

send myself forward myself an email here real quick give me a second are we still live then or

Or what?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're live.

Okay, I thought you...

How did you reset your router and stay online?

I had to have...

I'm just saying stupid shit.

Hey, fuck.

Your sound quality went down, though.

You're at, uh...

You sound like you're no longer in HD, so to say.

Yeah, you sound the same.

You sound like a little bit like, uh, yeah.

Maybe it'll pick up.

I don't know.

We'll see.

Well, at least we got you with no echo.

Yeah, right.

That's the important part.

All right, give me a second.

Almost there.

All right, so we got those numbers here from Brad,

who was sending in the uh info the details on the uh on the uh layaway i don't even know if they

have them the uk gin if you know what i'm talking about or what would they will call it there

something tells me if the if you do have it there you don't call it layaway a layaway yeah like you

go to a store and you say i want to buy this tv but i don't i can't pay for it all now so i'm

gonna give you a deposit and you hold it for me and then i'm gonna come back in three more times

and make a payment and at the end i own it it's called finance yeah but here they call it layaway

because they don't charge you i know isn't it stupid right yeah it's pretty stupid it's not

as stupid as sneakers but it's pretty stupid but you don't you don't get it until you don't just

get the tv you gotta wait until you make the all payments oh that's shit no no over here you can

actually get something for free and then you can get it on finance and just pay it off over like

six years or something. I could get

a car today. I could get a Ferrari

and pay it off for the next 12 years.

You could do that here. You could finance a car and stuff.

Oh, okay. Right.

This is for people that don't have the credit.

Do you have to have good credit to finance?

Do they do a background check to make sure

you're... Yeah, they do a credit check to make sure

your credit score is okay. I guess

mine is okay. I've never really missed a payment.

There you go. Good, man. That's good.

So, yeah. But this is for people

who don't have good credit. But then you can

also do rent-a-center.

like rent to own where they do that they don't do a credit check but they take three references

and if you stop paying they start calling your friends that you left as references uh and uh

harassing nice yeah like someone i know around here that that happened too once and they kept

calling about their thing that they bought and didn't pay for it somebody i don't know who that

it was anyway we got i was clear i was cleared for a footstool and a coffee table yeah baby

yeah yeah the funniest like the rena center places are such a ripoff because like i went

there once just out of curiosity i was i was in a market for a tv and i said let me see what this

rena center place has and like the tv that they wanted to sell me like after the payments it would

be like almost double the price for the tv i'm like okay i set it off for like 10 years

yeah i was like well like four years but it's like like you know i think i'll um i think i'll

put that in my credit card at best buy thanks thanks but no thanks anyway we got a layaway here

and uh i don't have the items on any of these brad says just the names and numbers all of them

were done today all right cool all right let's call the first one here this is big darcy

Bye Darcy

Steven instead

An old man answered here and coughed at Brad

When he called to confirm it

Steven put something on layaway today

Let's give him a call

Suggestions here from Brad

My only idea for layaway prank is to say that you and the other employees

Were doing some extreme horseplay

And knocked over a shitload of boxes

And you're trying to sort out who had what

Since the computer's broken

Tell them you're pretty sure

All they had on layaway was a kitty

Kenny Loggins CD.

All right, cool.

Kenny Loggins.

Kenny Loggins CD.

Where'd you come up with that, Brad?

That's funny.

Kenny Loggins.

Is that guy even alive anymore, Milkman?

You'd know.

Yeah, I think he's working for Stanley.

Works for the Kirby Vacuum Company.

Hello?

Hello.

This is Steve.

Steven?

Yes.

No, who's this?

Oh, hi.

Well, I'm looking for Steven.

I'm calling from regarding the layaway that he plays today.

Yeah.

All right.

Hang on just a moment.

Oh, he is there.

Okay.

Hello?

Yes, hi.

This is Cross.

I'm calling from...

You put a layaway today?

I did.

All right.

Yeah, we had a problem here in the layaway center in the back of the store.

There was some horse playing going on, and a lot of the receipts got mixed up, and the

computer isn't working right.

Yeah.

So can you let me know what exactly it is you put on layaway here?

Because if not, we're going to lose your deposit.

I'm going to lose my deposit?

I don't think so.

Well, you can help me out, Stephen, and be helpful.

Well, I'll tell you what you gave me.

Don't say I'm going to lose my deposit.

Well, obviously.

Because I have a receipt I paid $50.

So you're giving it back to me one way or the other.

That receipt won't count unless you tell me what it is that you got.

I have to put it down on the computer, the new computer.

Well, I'll tell you what it is, but you know what?

You need to figure out what you're doing because you ain't doing the right thing.

We're messing around.

Well, you don't tell somebody that they paid $50 and they're going to lose it

if I don't tell you what I put on layaway.

If I paid you $50, I have a receipt for it.

If you screw up, I get my money back.

You may think differently, but that's not the way it works.

Well, there has to be some kind of – I'm sorry, sir.

I'm sorry, Mr.

I know.

Okay, I got a 32-inch LED TV ProScan.

You got a 32-inch LED – so you didn't have the CDs and the construction paper?

Nope.

I got a 32-inch LED ProScan TV, $250-some.

And you put down a $50 deposit?

I put down a $50 cash deposit.

All right.

Well, because of your attitude here, I'm just going to hang on.

Let me see here.

Because of the problem we're having here, the way you're treating me.

The way I'm treating you?

I'm changing.

I think the way you're treating me.

That's a $40 deposit now, according to the new computer records here.

Let me get that here.

Okay, well, I'll go talk to the store manager then.

Hang on, I'm going to print you a new receipt.

I have my own receipt, so it doesn't matter.

I just voided it.

That's okay.

You didn't void it.

I have my receipt.

Hey, don't curse to me or I'm going to take out more money from your deposit.

No, you're not.

As a matter of fact, you know what?

The TV, we're sold out of the TV.

We don't have any more of them.

The TV's sold out.

Okay, well, I'll be in tomorrow to talk to your store manager.

The TV's sold out, sir, so I'm sorry since you didn't come pick it up and pay it off in time.

You lost your deposit.

I don't think so.

Well, if you look at the paper, it says there your initial deposit is not recoverable

if you don't pay for it before it's out of the store.

Today, I did it today.

How can I pay for it out of the store?

I got eight weeks to pick it up.

Not anymore because it ran out.

Well, we'll find out tomorrow.

Asshole.

Douchebag.

Stupid shit.

You're fucking ridiculous, man.

Put your wife on the line.

Are you serious?

Put your wife on the line because she might be a little nicer than your stupid asshole.

Son of a bitch.

You remember what this guy's name was?

No, he didn't tell me what his name was.

Wow, you need to find a new job, buddy.

Why?

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm the supervisor.

Because you don't do very good at what you do.

I'm the layaway manager, okay?

Well, that's beside the point.

You don't treat customers like you do.

Why?

Because you're so cheap and you can't put the TV, you can't buy it?

$250?

No, that's not the point.

I don't want it.

What's your gross annual income?

What's the matter?

More than yours, I guarantee it.

Obviously not, because I bought two TVs last year for Christmas.

So what?

I bought a 42-inch TV LCD plasma.

Well, I'm watching a 60-inch plasma right now.

Is that what you got?

I'm watching a football game on Thursday night on a 60-inch plasma.

Then why are you buying a small TV?

I'm buying it for my motorhome.

It's just a motorhome TV is all that is.

Motorhomes?

It's not even going in my house.

Motorhomes are for meth heads and stupid dumb rednecks named Steve.

Yeah, you're one of them.

I'm a stupid redneck.

My name is, you know my name?

My name is Cross.

No, I don't.

Cross Lopez.

Do I sound like a redneck to you?

Oh, yeah.

Method.

Not that either, Steven.

I just can't even believe the way you talk to customers.

I'll be in there tomorrow.

I can't believe the way you talk to employees,

how rude you are from the minute I called you on the phone.

I'm not rude at all.

Why was I rude?

Because I told you you can't do that?

You call me a douchebag?

You say, shit, damn it?

Well, after you called me a dickhead, a redneck methhead, are you serious?

I said either redneck or methhead, and I said that's what they're...

If this phone call was recorded, you'd be fired on the spot.

How do you know this?

You should be anyway.

No way, man.

You should be anyway.

No way, man.

And all these calls are recorded just to let you know it's for my protection.

And I have down here all the mean, nasty things you said about me.

Yeah, but do you have all the things you said about me before?

I said, anything to you?

I can do whatever I want.

Anything to you?

I'll edit all those out.

From the beginning, you were like...

Yeah, you'll edit them all out.

Yeah, sure you will.

From the beginning, you were like, oh, you're going to take away my money.

My money, my $50.

You're not.

I have a receipt.

I have a 60-inch TV, and I drive a motorhome, and I can't afford $50, $250 even for a TV.

Right.

I have that much cash in my pocket today.

So why didn't you buy it?

I only gave you a $50 down payment because I didn't want it.

Why don't you buy the whole thing?

Do you need another reason why?

That's cheap.

That's called frugal, douchebag.

You don't even know what that means.

What's the difference?

You pay it all now, you pay it all in three months.

What's the big deal?

Because I don't want it right now.

So why not just wait?

None of your goddamn business what I do with it.

Why not just wait?

Why not just save the money because you can't control your money?

No, because it's only on sale for a week, dumbass.

You could just buy it now then if you have so much money.

You're taking up all the room back here.

I'm keeping the deposit.

Hey, I'm here. I'm waiting for your apology.

Waiting for what?

Your apology.

Apology for what?

For being rude and being a cheap, stupid customer.

What's your name?

This is Cross. I'm the layaway manager.

Really?

Yes.

You're in some deep trouble because, you know, you've been on the speakerphone

and there's four of us standing here listening to you talk to my husband that way.

Are you all naked and touching each other?

You hear that?

What? Are you kidding?

we've been doing drugs and that's why i had to call because we were smoking pot and we've knocked

over all the receipts no this is not i'm calling from don't you hear you stupid tell that other

guy to put his pants back on and get a clue i'm writing this down steven and his wife and his gay

boyfriend and someone else are naked and being rude right now i'm writing this down i'm printing

I'm printing it out.

Here we go.

Where are you at?

I'm printing a full report about all the bad things you guys are doing.

Where are you at right now?

Huh?

I'm in the layaway department.

Are you?

In the layaway department.

I'm the manager.

Layaway manager, yep.

Where at?

On what street?

No, we didn't even get anything from there.

You're at the wrong one.

You don't even know what you're talking about.

Are you going to be there right now?

Why?

Are you threatening me?

No, I'm just wondering if I can come down there and talk to you in person so we don't

have to do that.

No, I'd rather you not come in here

and shove your fat fingers in my face

like usual mouth-breathing idiot customers do.

Well, I wouldn't really do my fingers.

I'd probably shove my cock in your mouth.

You see, that's what I knew

because you guys are gay

and you're all naked over there

touching each other.

See?

How can I get you in there?

Yeah.

So, now that we know

that this is a prank call...

Who is it?

Yeah, you can just say who it is.

No, I refuse.

Okay.

So, how can you say me and Steph

but we can't?

My name is Cross.

I'm the manager of the layaway department

I also work in the furniture section

And the electronics section

I straighten out the aisles

I come in and I straighten out the aisles

And I deal with asshole customers all day like you

So you can call to us and be an asshole

But we can't come in and be an asshole to you?

You can't come in and threaten to punch me

Like you just did and hit me

You just did now

So you're going to come to me and put your fist in my face

You said

Pretty sure nobody said that at all

So you're going to put your cock in my face

You said you're going to put your cock in my face

And you said, no, I said you were going to put your fat fingers in my face.

You said, no, you'd rather put your cock in my face.

What are you talking about?

That's what you said to me.

You said these things.

I'm falling from the number, stupid.

All right, they're finally gone.

Jeez.

Hey, here's a quick question for you guys who are on the website.

Are the players gone, the audio players?

Where are they?

I don't see them on the Madhouse site.

Milkman, you got the chat?

You got the web page open?

I've got the web page.

Up here?

Yeah.

Is the stream player on the website at all?

Is that showing up?

It wasn't running.

It clicked over onto the video sites.

Video only right now.

That's interesting.

Well, that's different.

I don't know why that's happening.

Yeah, I don't know why that's doing that.

I just noticed it.

You messed something up, man.

That's why the quality is bad as well.

You did a mistake.

Hey, listen.

I'm writing down your deposits gone.

You're losing your deposit.

Stop it up.

I think I got real mad really fast from the beginning.

it would be amazing if he comes in tomorrow

and like starts talking to the guy

it's just a shame we don't see that

yeah that sucks about the audio

the audio player plays auto

sometimes you can't see them he says

really I don't know it doesn't seem to be

playing for me I don't know

I'm trying to pull up let me go to the chat room

here it's supposed to come in but you're supposed to be able to

pause it and all that shit

no it's not working

I'm on the web page now

yeah on the main madhouse live page

There should be an audio player there underneath where it says live right now.

Is it not showing up for you?

Yeah, it works for me.

Yeah, it's there.

Maybe it should.

You should be able to hear it.

Not the video.

I mean the audio only.

The little black and white one.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's working.

I clicked it on.

I don't know.

Maybe my flash isn't working right.

Ah, pause it.

Okay, it's working fine.

It's working?

I don't get it.

Okay, whatever.

That was fun.

10-4.

Did you like that prank call, Milkman?

Was it good for you?

That was a good one, man.

Good.

Thank you, man.

I appreciate it.

All right.

I'll call him back in a second.

Let me call Big Gale first.

She's old also.

What happened to the mighty Jim Stewart, the man with a thousand accents?

Oh, man.

He's got an echo.

He can't do calls tonight.

Oh, I've got the echo now.

I might do one.

He's got echoes in his head.

The man with a thousand accents himself.

A thousand accents.

The quality is shit.

It's all right.

Okay.

Hello?

I got Justin instead here.

here called and got a voicemail box at four rings he sounds pretty young let's see if he answers

this time brad gonna get all of him the first time a lot of times these people leave fake numbers too

you know yeah what happened to your regulars like the turkish horse guy and the uh the chinese guy

turkish horse we got him pretty good two weeks ago i got him here yeah we've we've had we found

his wife's picture we got his wife's picture and yeah his picture you send it to me yeah yeah we

We got our Facebook page also.

Shit.

I can't come to the phone right now.

Even my step is a beat.

What the hell did he put on fucking layaway?

Nintendo Wii or something?

God.

A new Resident Evil game or something?

God.

I put Resident Evil on my phone.

How can he just set something in the chat room?

He said, you guys know some new Muslim guys.

I know some new Muslim guys?

Introduce me to those Muslim guys.

Muslim guys.

John Madden.

Muslim guys.

you've got some you know some indians some new indian oh we found a cheat oh yeah yeah

or the asiatics coconis that we're talking about oh man what's going on the football game that

guy reminded me hello yes hi is this sierra this is her oh hi we have a problem here with

your layaway that you made today i'm the layaway manager my name is big cross

okay we were goofing around a little bit and we mixed up a lot of the receipts together

together okay um so unless you can tell us what it is you put on layaway and we have proof of it

you're might you're probably going to lose your deposit that you put today it

It was a Jeep.

You put a Jeep?

Yeah, a Barbie Jeep.

A Barbie Jeep?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I don't think you're going to be able to get that.

Okay.

But the deposit, we can't release a deposit now.

What do you mean you can't release a deposit?

Well, because you weren't authorized.

That's one of those items, because of the holidays,

you're not supposed to be able to take out any longer

because it's a high-value item.

Uh-huh.

So, according to the fine print, the rules here, certain toy items, electronic items like televisions cannot be put in layaway.

And the Barbie Jeep is one of those because they're too popular of an item.

Okay.

But, unfortunately, there's no refunds on the deposit at all.

The computer won't let us refund it, unfortunately.

So, I just wanted to let you know.

So, what's going to happen then?

We'll put the Barbie Jeep.

It's going to go back on the shelf.

We'll probably restock it tonight.

night but that's not fair to me if you guys let me already do that well you didn't have authorization

to do that and it says it on the sign and on the aisle also that certain items don't go in the

layaway tell me that well who did you deal with who was it was it a girl it was a lady yeah that's

why it was just that stupid girl it was women don't really know what they're doing so um yeah

that's not me that's not very professional well i would suggest next time that you find a man

you know to help you out that sounds kind of sexist well i'll just be honest with you that

the women really don't know what they're doing they're kind of dumb here uh-huh uh so you have

to get a man is really the only decent employee it's always going to be a man whenever you come

in the women make mistakes a lot well let's go down the store tomorrow and talk to you guys then

well i'm the manager and i'm telling you now that the deposit's gone so okay what's your name my

name is cross lopez and i'm writing you down that you're not cooperating either i am

I just don't think it's very fair.

All right, so I got Selena doesn't think it's fair

that she doesn't get her stupid Barbie Jeep for her stupid kid.

I'm putting here.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

Okay, go ahead and put that.

I will be contacting the corporate manager then.

I'm printing out a new receipt.

It says zero due for Selena, stupid customer.

Too bad my name's not Selena.

Serena, Sierra.

Close.

What kind of stupid name is that?

What kind of stupid name is Lopez?

That's one of the most popular names in Southern California.

So is Sierra.

Not anymore.

Yeah, I guess not, huh?

No, not anymore.

Yeah.

And that's the name of Mountain Range.

What does it have to do about being feminine that you're named after a mountain?

That's very professional.

It's like you're a big girl?

Yeah, I am.

Thank you.

Yeah, see?

See what I mean?

You're as big as the Sierra Mountains.

Of course.

Okay, I'm going to put that here, too.

Fat Sierra is coming in to complain.

Absolutely do not give her her deposit back.

okay all right well i just typed it in i'm gonna print it again there you go look why are you

calling me fat that's not right what you said you're fat i did not say i was fat i said you

were a big girl and you said yeah so i put down i'm sorry i had a big week in mountain range that

doesn't mean that i had that i'm fat hang on i took that uh sierra is a big girl no i'm in not

Not fat.

All right.

I'll pray you.

Not big.

New copy.

Okay.

Not fat, but big it says here.

And deposit due zero.

Okay.

I think we figured this out.

I think we worked on an agreement.

Yeah, okay.

I was trying to work on an agreement with you being professional, but not all this name

calling.

I can be a professional.

What do you need me to do for you, honey?

Now you want to work with me?

Yeah, I don't want to get in trouble.

Well, you are.

Well, we're messing around back here, and we knocked over some stuff.

and we can't find what goes where.

So you're being professional by calling me names?

No, I'm not trying to call you names now.

Fat isn't a name.

You made it yourself.

You're a big girl, so.

I'm not.

I only weigh 110 pounds.

How's that fat?

Well, how tall are you?

5'2".

You could lose a little bit of weight.

No.

Actually, I'm actually skin and bones.

That's a little big for a girl.

No, it's not.

It is.

No, it's not.

How would your hip bones stick out?

I don't know.

No, I'm looking here in the computer.

Let me see.

They had you down as a big girl already.

They described you, big girl, Sierra, 5'2", 180 pounds it says here.

Okay.

Yeah.

Maybe we have the wrong person, but you said it's a Barbie Jeep?

Yeah.

That's a stupid toy also.

Who is this for, your daughter?

Yeah.

Wow, really?

How old is your daughter?

It doesn't matter to you.

Well, if she's...

That's her business.

If I like her, if you're nice and I feel bad,

and maybe I'll let you keep the Barbie doll thing.

After the name-calling?

Well, I would never make fun of your daughter.

She's an innocent girl.

That stupid girl?

You don't even know my daughter.

Did I say that?

You said for a stupid kid, for a stupid girl.

Yes, you did.

I have you on speakerphone.

My mom can't hear you.

Oh, what's your mom saying?

Nothing.

Well, she's stupid.

No, you're going to be reported to the court.

Go ahead.

Whatever.

Whatever, honey.

That's nice, honey.

Yeah, it is.

All right.

Because you don't call kids stupid.

That's immature and really dumb.

Well, is she there?

Can she hear?

The stupid girl?

Can she hear?

Yeah.

She's not stupid.

Stop calling my daughter stupid.

I'll come down there and I'll bring the cops.

Your ass will be arrested.

Because I called your daughter stupid?

Stupid, stupid daughter.

Okay.

Stupid Sierra's daughter.

I'll see you tomorrow.

She has cerebral palsy.

She has what?

Cerebral palsy.

Oh, yeah.

You're a big monster fan, aren't you, Mr. Lopez?

She plays with Barbie dolls.

balls that's pretty stupid go ahead i know someone that works at that store and i'll i'll get a hold

of them and i'm gonna talk to them and i hope you better be right because if you're not i got this

recorded and it's going straight to the top do you know mr murphy i'm not gonna tell you who i know

it's not mr murphy is it your business look please don't tell mr murphy don't tell mr murphy don't

tell mr murphy i'm sorry okay please i don't know what the fuck that is and i don't care

all right you don't know mr murphy that i don't care then fuck you okay fuck you and your stupid

your stupid daughter

your stupid g

yeah fuck you too

bye asshole

bye bitch

I'll see you

alright bye

that's nice honey

bye

alright she's gone

that is so good

oh my god

I feel bad

little girl

oh shit

little girl couldn't hear

what's going on

she's sleeping

that's what you call

excellence in service

Mr. Murphy

no

I don't even know

who that is

yeah Mr. Murphy

that's the manager's name

Mr. Murphy

the big boss mr murphy yeah this is fun we're having a good time tonight here we got about an

hour left to show which means pretty soon i'll be uh connecting the skype plan i'll get the skype

let's see what happened with uh football tonight because i have no idea dirty air how you doing

man yo dogs hey what happened murphy hey man green bay win tonight or what huh fuck i don't know i

was just i got it i got it to open on one of my things here all i know is that uh i'm taking on

on lonesome hey what's going on guys hey big ken can be three points green bay did win tonight i

think it was 23 10 23 10 yeah that's what it's showing here holy shit oh lonesome's tied in

didn't do very good sorry lonesome who was that ray rice no no no ray rice no yeah jeremy finley

oh okay jermichael finley sorry jermichael jermichael i got a nice sexy little victory

over Carlito by three fucking

points. That was a skooker, yeah.

Yeah. Is

Richie paying attention? Did he have someone

who's on a bye right now?

Is one of his players completely out?

I don't know. I was looking at that.

He's got a player who's

been dropped by their team. I was looking

earlier, whoever I'm playing on, earlier

in the day, they had a guy that, or they had a

slot completely empty, and then they

had fucking Greg Jennings in, who's probably

not even going to play. And then I checked

Fuck, he actually adjusted it.

I was hoping he was going to leave it blank and shake it an easy victory.

Yeah, I know that feeling.

Get there Sunday like, oh, shit, this guy isn't paying attention, and boom.

When I played you, I was down by 31 points before fucking Roethlisberger came in.

It sucks, man.

And it's all because I changed my defense.

I pulled out, I had Steelers D, and I took them out,

and I had Cardinals D in there all week.

And five minutes before kickoff, I swapped them out again,

and sure enough would have won by about eight points sucks man anyway it's the only time we'll

play each other too unless we meet in playoffs in the playoffs yep well you gotta win look at that

i gotta uh who am i playing this week i think i richie this week right let me see i don't know

i'm not even sure who i'm playing this week i'm i think i'm projected uh to be losing by four

points who fucking knows yeah you gotta see i think i am playing richie this week i should be

be able to beat ritchie i dropped rothlisberger out put uh sanchez in so i'm playing sanchez in

our g3 this week i think that's a fair thing uh mark sanchez i think he's gonna do all right

well rothlisberger is expecting his first kid so he might not even fucking play this week so i don't

want to take the chance with him that's his first kid yeah then he won't is it his first kid you

said yeah it's his first one so he was expected to possibly miss this last week uh he probably

chance on him yeah yeah yeah i hear it yeah i do have uh richie this week richie's got tim

hightower starting still right now in the flux position and he's been dropped so i get to my

way what's going on there big guy hey that'll never give me nine points in the flex wow big

zyklon he's in the house did you see how bad i did last week it was horrible yeah andy beat the

crap andy was like telling me it's a row he's all excited about it i know i just had my team

just did absolutely did absolutely stinker my kicker got me 10 points alone and i got 10 as

well from gustowski but the fleet is deep and why did you have to choke on me well andy only picked

up 20 andy only picked up 20 points from aaron rogers today huh yeah and uh i know andy's gonna

Eddie's going down this week because Keller threw, like, three picks.

Oh, yeah, he was getting fucking rocked.

Eddie's going to lose this week.

You're right, bitch.

That's crazy.

He was starting both quarterbacks at play tonight.

So he got 24 points off of his two quarterbacks.

That's pretty bad.

I know, that's bad.

That's, like, less than one quarterback.

Yeah, that's, like, less than one quarterback, yeah, in a good week.

Last week I got 51 off our D3.

I'm pissed at Antonio Gates.

Gates, he dropped fucking five balls last week, and now he's got bruised ribs.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

I'm just happy that Whitson is finally able to play.

I finally got a good tight end.

Tight end.

Nice tight end.

Hey, let's just have prank calls where people get mad.

They're going to get really mad here really soon.

I'm surprised Judo isn't fucking bustling.

I'm surprised.

They're pranks.

All right.

So we're having fun here with these.

We've got a few more of these layaway calls, and then we've got to call Lonesome Loser.

He's been confirming all night.

I haven't done one of his numbers yet.

Sorry, Lonesome.

He's sent in a number, a bunch of Ugandan consulates, though, Jin.

I know you've been looking for those, so I got those ready to go.

But in the meantime, I got Sherry here who did a layaway.

Any of you guys want to do a prank call?

Jin, you've been waiting the longest.

Yeah, I'll do one for the consulate a bit later.

Okay.

I'll let somebody else go for now.

All right.

Any of you guys want to do a...

I'll jump in on the layaway.

So what's the premise?

premise uh well they put something on we have no idea what they put on layaway but they put

something on layaway it's a oh fuck dude that's where i went to high school layaway is to call

them and tell them they have to come in right now or else your reporter is going to get canceled

and lose all their money yeah tell them that you busted their shit and there are no more

all right what's the name sherry sherry

I'm going to head that on up.

I'm teaching.

I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Thanks.

Shit.

That's a great message.

RBCP is also telling us, you know,

if their stuff's broken to offer them a Kenny Loggins CD.

Yeah.

This is the Kenny Loggins CD.

By the way, Carlito,

I was here listening to the recently released podcast

about what happened with RBCP.

Yeah.

And all I have to say is this.

No state preemption sucks ass.

pass no state preemption basically uh it means that the state says local governments can't pass

any more restrictive laws than the state has oh yeah i don't yeah pretty much all your southern

states have it yeah i don't know so basically you can't have a chicago or a dc yeah i i don't know

you think i don't know it's it comes down to state right yeah it would make sense that the

southern states are the ones that fall under that the most with the state rights things and all that

yeah makes sense don't you live in like the alabama parts of part of pennsylvania kind of

kind of yeah it's kind of rednecky out here yeah you got the guys with the the uh shotguns in the

back of the of the pickup truck you know on display and stuff it's for surviving they're

rocking the gun rack the gun rack yeah all right we got paul or jill jill paul or paul jill one of

the two i don't know which is which uh she we got a list of what she put on layaway including

What did she put on it?

Construction paper.

What?

A Puzzle Maker RC vehicle Spongebob game called and got Jill's voicemail.

It was a voicemail with music ringtone.

But we'll try it.

All right.

Let's see if Jill calls.

I don't think she's going to pick up.

We could try.

Construction paper.

Who puts construction paper?

Seriously?

A big bucket spender right there.

Construction paper.

Who even uses construction paper anymore?

Don't put it on layaway.

I can't buy it.

I think it's like 39 cents.

I like to put stuff on layaway because most of it is expensive.

Is this in Spokane too?

It's in Idaho.

Oh, Idaho.

Aileen, Aileen.

Hi, you've reached Jill.

I'm unavailable to take your call right now if you leave your name.

No, Jill.

Oh, well, there goes that.

that so yeah jen uh what happened at the olympics man i was expecting you to take gold yeah i

fucking ended up with silver silver

i think jen got a participation ribbon and shit he hung up at his house

it's just a piece of paper i can't make fun of i can't make a fun of jen i can't shoot a bow

worth flip oh no i tried it once i suck yeah he makes it to the olympics he gets automatic

Automatic fucking respect.

Yeah, no.

Now, of course, give me a damn AK-47, and I can make that thing sing.

Well, too bad.

Here's one thing I heard.

They're saying that for the 2016 Olympics,

they're trying to get three-on-three basketball going.

That would be kind of cool.

Three-on-three basketball.

Yeah, I was like, hey, that sounds cool.

I mean, I started thinking about, like,

what would be a good three-on-three USA basketball team.

Is it for Rio?

For Rio, yeah.

Jordan, Lucky Bird, and Magic Johnson.

Yeah, that's going to work, yeah.

The old fucking geriatric Olympics or something.

Larry Bird probably can't even

freaking watch

well you already have a pretty damn good

three team right now

you gotta have a good center

well then we can have

fantasy three on three basketball

that's something

basketball is hard to do

fantasy basketball is hard

so is baseball man it's a lot of freaking

maintenance

too many games

do they have fantasy sports like fantasy football

like soccer or whatever

over there?

No, no, we do the real thing here.

It's not about you guys.

We don't dream about it.

We go and do it.

It's not a bunch of middle-aged men sitting around the computer

pretending they're fucking coaches?

No, no, no.

They actually go outside and play sports.

They actually go outside and play soccer.

We get active, yeah.

That sounds fucking boring.

I'm going to be honest with you.

That was a lot of work.

Alright, we got a number here for John.

John, prank call him and accuse him of texting my daughter how he texted naked pics of himself asking if my daughter likes grandchildren.

What?

Holy shit.

Here, let me do this as Larry the Redneck.

All right, cool.

All right, so this is John, J-O-N, you're calling.

Yeah, Larry's going to be like my default redneck guy.

Larry the Redneck.

Larry the Redneck, yeah.

All right, does he do cable?

New character for Red House.

Does he do cable TV also, or no?

No.

All right.

You've been sending texts to my daughter.

What the hell is this?

What the hell's going on?

Man, he's gone.

All right.

All right, Zyklon.

Yay.

Way to go, Zyklon.

Great.

Don't stop, man.

That is the quickest disconnection we've had.

Quickest disconnect of the night.

There you go.

You might have had a better luck just saying, hey, what's up, fuckface, and see what he did.

All right, Jen, they got the Ugandan consulate in Australia.

They got a different one here.

All right.

Here we go.

Where they eat the poo-poo.

Who was the name of the guy who did the video?

Oh, pastor something.

I'm not sure.

The Coney guy?

The Coney guy.

Cody.

Isn't that the Coney guy?

Wasn't the pastor video of the Coney guy?

Good afternoon.

I'm Chaka Goni speaking.

Hello.

Yeah, I'm trying to get through to the team here at the Ugandan embassy.

I'm calling from the British embassy.

And we're in Sydney.

We're central Sydney.

We're trying to get some information.

we've had a video sent over which is uh quite disturbing hello okay yeah sorry i'm just this

is a traffic control company i think it's the wrong number what is this it's a what control

one it's a traffic control company traffic control yep how did i end up with you what do you guys do

um we do we're just a traffic we deal with on the we work on the roads in sydney all right well

this is the number i've got so this is what i'm going to have to deal with i thought you see i

I thought you were like some kind of Ugandan embassy.

Yeah, we get them calls.

We get people getting the wrong number.

I think I know the most.

Don't worry about that.

Maybe it was you.

Okay, maybe it was your organization there that sent this video to me.

And I think, you know, whoever it was,

definitely this is the number we've got in the attachment on the email.

So we just, you know, we need to talk to somebody.

What was the video about?

It was a homosexual video depicting some strange act between two men

and what appeared to be a fissure matter.

No, that definitely was not us.

Well, it's revolting, to be honest with you.

I could imagine, yes.

There was a soundtrack going with it to some Ugandan video

where there was some sort of pastor who, you know,

He was making a speech about, we don't eat a poo-poo, and all this.

And it kept repeating.

So throughout the entire video, you had this guy going, you don't eat a poo-poo, you don't eat a poo-poo.

And it was actually disgusting.

I could imagine, but yeah, that's not us.

We do get people looking for Uganda all the time.

But you certainly don't get people looking for these kind of videos then?

No.

Well, I need to know how this came about and how this ended up in the British Embassy.

I have no idea.

I just think it's a digital error on the website or something.

Somebody there is messing around.

Somebody there is pulling strings.

It's not here.

I think it is there because this is the number that was in the email.

We traced it back to you.

I'm telling you, it's not us.

I'm pretty sure it's you.

What do you guys do there?

We are a traffic control company.

And in your spare time, you make homosexual videos depicting men.

No, I'm telling you, that is not us.

I think that is you.

Well, I'm not a man, so...

I know you. Maybe you're the camera lady.

Maybe you filmed this.

Are you for real?

Well, I'm asking you.

I'm going to hang up on you now.

Why?

Yeah.

That was a good scene.

She said it kind of like she was kind of cute, though, for me.

You know what I mean?

She said, I kind of liked you for a little while there.

She's like, oh, hi.

Sounds like she kind of digged it a little bit there, too.

God, man.

It's a shame we didn't get through to the Ugandan.

I had something else in mind for the Ugandan guy.

That's such a shame.

All right, well, I got a different.

I got the Canadian consulate instead.

We got that here.

And if you want me to play it, I got the audio in Canada for Uganda.

This is from Lonesome.

From Lonesome.

Lonesome sent in.

You have a where in Canada.

Oh, where.

I'm sorry Vancouver Vancouver home of the Grizzlies. Okay in Vancouver. Yes, the embassy in Vancouver, Vancouver

Yes, that's what it is. All right. Here we go. Take it away gin. All right, let's try it. We use the same idea

Good morning, everyone. My name is hello. Am I to the Ugandan consulate?

Yeah, hurry don't don't keep me waiting. Hello. Yeah. Yeah. Hi. How are you? This is mr.

This is mr. Stewart from from the British Embassy in Vancouver. How are you? I'm okay. How are you?

Yeah, I'm not very good.

We've had a video sent over to us from your place over there, the Ugandan Consulate,

and it's a very, very disturbing video.

We'd like to know how this came about and who sent this to us.

We need to get to the bottom of this.

Was it sent by us?

Yeah, it was sent by the Ugandan Consulate, and we had your number put in here.

Oh, I have no idea, but I can find out.

Well, hold on a second then.

What's your name there, first of all?

Yeah, give me your name first.

My name is Mr. Stewart.

Sorry?

Mr. Stewart, S-T-E-W-A-R-T.

Yeah, and where are you calling from?

I'm calling from the British Embassy in Vancouver.

Okay, and what's your phone number?

We can't give you that.

We can't give you a direct line here.

We have to give you a...

Okay, my name is John Halani.

Your name is John Halani?

Yes.

All right, okay, John.

Right, is it okay if I call you John?

Yes, please.

You can call me Mr. Stewart.

Right, so, John, how did this happen?

No, no, no first names.

My name is Jin, but you can call me Mr. Stewart.

I'm going to call you John.

And John, how did this video come to us?

How did it happen?

Did I send it to you?

I think possibly you did.

It may have been you or one of your colleagues

or somebody who was very disturbed.

No, I didn't send it to British Embassy.

But I think you did because it was a very disturbing video.

Shall I tell you about this video?

Yes.

Okay, it's a video of a pornographic nature

And it contains two males, average age, average height and build, who participate in excrementing onto each other.

Oh, we don't deal in those things.

Yes, I understand that, but this is a very disturbing video and this is a very serious case.

We may have to sort of...

Yeah, so I'd like to know more about it.

Yeah, well, let me tell you more about it.

This is a Ugandan video, because clearly the two men are from Uganda.

And you can see in the background a picture of the Ugandan president.

And through the video, there is a sound, a looping sound of a Ugandan pastor of some kind.

He is some kind of strange man.

And he is saying, repeating, the poo-poo is the poo-poo.

And he just keeps repeating that.

And it's a very disturbed video.

Okay.

Okay. Well, you got my email.

I don't have your email.

All I have is an email address which was sent to me from the consulate,

and it came through to the main email address here at the British Embassy.

We don't send to British Embassy anything.

But how did it end up here then?

Can you explain that to me?

I have no idea.

You've got to find out the source.

John, I recognize your voice actually from the video.

I think you are the man from the video.

You are one of the men.

One of the things they do is called anal licking.

Can you hear that?

No, it's not my voice.

That's you.

No, it's not my voice.

That's definitely you.

I can hear that.

I can meet you personally and talk about it.

Well, I don't think that would be appropriate

because I don't personally want your shitty,

I don't want your poo or your facial matter on me.

No, okay, okay, don't get personal.

I'm a consul here.

Yeah, and I'm a legion.

I'm a member of legion, of the British legion.

And I'm, you know, I'm a very important individual at the British embassy.

Yeah, but why do you say you're from the embassy?

I am from the embassy.

And I'm actually, I'm one of the heads here at the embassy.

And I'm having to deal with the matter.

The embassy, where, in Vancouver?

Yeah, that's right, here in Vancouver.

There's no ambassador here, there's a consulate.

No, no, no, the British embassy.

in Ottawa yeah yeah that's right yeah no don't say yes yes yes because you know I'm not sure

because I'm not sure how we ended up with this video this disturbing video I don't know why you

asking me I didn't send it to you because it's you in the video you pooed on another man why

would you do something so stupid I'm a businessman we don't deal in those things okay you do you are

a gay man and you did gay homosexual acts where you pooed on another man I don't like to carry

on this conversation

because I didn't send it to you

and stop blaming me for this.

I'm blaming you.

I will talk to the consulate

in the morning.

We're talking to you now.

I don't want to talk to you about it

because I didn't send it to you.

You're extremely rude.

I find that you are extremely rude.

If you find me rude,

then you better be

because I didn't send it to you.

Okay, well, what I'm going to do,

here's what I'm going to suggest.

I'm going to come in there

and I'm going to poo on you.

Yeah, okay. Okay. Enjoy. Thank you. I'm on my way. No if we have any children, please step out

Janko's up for this video

Even better. I love that line where he's like, okay. I call you John. You can call me. Mr. Stewart

Gonna give you a first name. There's my first name

I kept trying to make I just had a thought little black

Black Sambo pooing on another little Black Sambo.

That's kind of cute, though, you know?

And the little tigers around.

You get it, though.

I had the best fantasy team, Dave.

Yeah, the little Black Sambos.

Good deal.

That's cool.

He got you on the...

There's no...

There's a consulate in Vancouver.

Jim, come on now.

You knew that, right?

I don't know what the fuck...

I'm not a political person.

I don't care if it's a fucking embassy

or I don't care if the government is situated over there.

I've no idea.

He's shooting from the fucking hip over here.

Yeah, exactly.

Hold on, hold on.

I just had a prank idea.

Are there, like, any, like, Libyan embassies or something around that are U.S.?

Oh, I don't know.

What's the difference between a consulate and an embassy anyway?

What the fuck?

Well, consulate or embassy, I was going to call them and say that in revenge for them

attacking the U.S. embassy, a whole bunch of rednecks are going to storm their embassy

in revenge.

I bet that shit's being monitored real fucking close right now.

Run the Confederate flag up over the Libyan embassy.

I got an idea, Zyklon.

How about you can call them yourself, and then we'll hear about you on the news next week.

Yeah, you do that, man, because I don't think...

Okay, that may be over the top.

But actually, though, in somewhat related news,

the State Department official that was killed in Benghazi in the attack

was actually a big Yvonne Lyon gamer, and there's a whole bunch of news on that.

He was an Yvonne Lyon player? Are you kidding?

Yeah, he was like the second-in-command of Goon Swarm,

like the biggest alliance there was.

Are you kidding?

There was a royally?

Who's that?

That guy seems like he was kind of cool.

Holy shit.

I like Yvonne Lyne.

Yeah, he was the State Department official that was killed.

Oh, wow.

Holy shit.

I didn't know an ambassador.

There was some developers over it.

A legit ambassador was an Yvonne Lyne player.

He seemed like a cool dude.

No, he wasn't the ambassador.

He worked for the State Department.

Oh, okay.

He was one of the...

Okay.

Now I'm pissed off. Now I'm really pissed off.

I'm beyond pissed off.

A consulate is like a little satellite, like what they'll do in D.C.

Usually all the embassies are in D.C. in the United States.

They've got one main embassy, but then New York will have a consulate,

and Chicago and Miami will have a consulate.

And then a lot of the places, if there aren't diplomatic relations,

like let's say North Korea, I think they have a consulate but no embassy.

I'm pretty in on that.

I don't think that's the case.

I think if there's no diplomatic relations, there's not even an embassy.

Nothing like that, really.

I think Cuba has a – there's a Cuban consulate in Miami for like – well, actually, we don't – yeah, because we don't –

Is that where they keep all the inner tubes and stuff?

I guess.

I don't know.

Yeah, because the United States doesn't have an embassy in Havana, but there's a consulate there, though, I think, or an American –

Yeah, we may have diplomatic relations with them, but still an embargo.

No, we don't have diplomatic – there's only a handful of countries we don't have relations with.

Whether it's like Cuba, North Korea, Iran, Iraq, we do now.

We used to not before the invasion.

Yeah, that's when Iraq was under Saddam.

Yeah.

Why did it sound like the Ugandan consulate had a cell phone for their fucking phone?

I don't know.

Who was the guy that answered first?

What's the deal with this video?

Is it like some video of two Ugandan guys pulling at each other?

Or is this just made up?

Well, I don't know.

I don't know.

Fuck.

I don't know.

Hey, we've got another embassy in China.

It's a Ugandan embassy in China.

I want to apologize.

Let me do this one.

I was trying not to...

The conversation was good.

I feel bad that I was playing the video over it

so it won't really be heard,

but I was trying to get him to at least listen

to some of the guys saying the poo-poo.

Oh, nobody can hear that on this thing.

Oh, you can't?

Well, on the phone you can hear it.

Yeah, we can hear it.

It was choppy, really, during the phone call.

yeah

shit you bastard

you always do that

fucking ruin my cause

alright sorry

alright

hey Carlito

I posted a video

on Skype

the first time

I ever saw that video

was when

fucking made fun of it

holy shit

is Milkman alive

is he still

is he still awake

what's going on

you alright there

Milkman

oh yeah

we just said

that fucker's

sleeping again

son of a bitch

did he wake up

Milkman

Milkman wake up

Are you dreaming about the poo-poo?

Is Milkman passed out at the front seat of his taxi or what?

He's eating poo-poo.

All right.

China, consulate, Zyklon.

There we go.

No Libyan jokes.

Come on, man.

No bomb threats.

Okay.

Definitely no bomb threats.

This is a parental guidance moment.

Is this the embassy?

You got an embassy.

I got a proud mama.

ugandan citizen i'm stuck here in china hello sir may i help you i'm ugandan citizen i'm stuck

here in china i need you to get me a new passport the locals here don't believe me because i'm not

a darky hold on i'm trying to put the phone to the office hold on hold on it's mario music

hey that child can't be moved out so hello is your name yes i need to get me a new passport

I'm an Ugandan citizen.

These locals don't believe me because I ain't a darkie.

I beg your pardon, sir?

I need a new passport. I lost it.

Old Ugandan passport?

Yes, I need a new passport from the embassy.

When you lose a passport, the first thing you should do is report it to the nearest police station to obtain a lost passport certificate.

I already did and the police won't believe it's an Ugandan passport because I'm not a darkie.

If you hold a copy of your passport.

Mate, I think I might have one back at home in Uganda.

I see.

But it's damn dark, you don't believe, because I ain't a nigger, I ain't a Sambo, you know.

I'm a white man.

Nobody believes I'm an Ugandan.

Your passport got lost.

It was yesterday.

I was in the market looking for one of them gold farmers, and some Chinese kid ran up and stole it.

Which city are you?

I'm in Beijing.

Beijing.

In that case, once you have received the police certificate, then come over to the embassy.

I haven't gotten anything from the police. The police said I was a crazy white man.

Just, if you have a way of obtaining a copy of your previous passport, you could get it and then present it to them.

I don't have internet down in the middle of nowhere.

That will be helpful to identify you.

My name's Larry, and it's on my belt buckle. Is that a good enough ID?

Well, just present to them whatever ID you have with you, whether employment ID or whatever, because you don't have a passport.

I guess I have to show up then with my belt buckle that says Larry on it.

Yes, but please make sure you get the police certificate for lost passport.

Police, they don't believe me. Please, you got to get them to believe me.

Oh, yeah.

hung up.

Zyklon, if it makes you feel any better,

I believe you're a darkie.

From Ooganda.

I'm not a sand nigger.

I'm not a darkie.

I'm not colored. I'm a white

Ugandan. Hey, let me try this one.

I'm going to call the, in Cyprus, which is

Greece or Turkey.

I figured that would be about the silliest thing was a white

Ugandan. White Ugandan.

Alright, let me do this one here.

Can I ask him for some of that lovin' though?

Who are you calling now?

I'm doing the Ugandan in Cyprus, which is an island between Turkey and Greece.

Yeah, I know.

Hello?

Hello, yes.

Is this the Ugandan consulate?

Hello?

Yes, this is the Ugandan consulate.

Yes, it is.

Yes, I'm trying to see about getting asylum.

Sorry?

I want to get asylum.

I need to go to Uganda.

I'm being persecuted.

Hello?

You're not open?

But why are you answering the phone?

It's an emergency.

Emergency. How can I get asylum to Uganda? It's an emergency.

Could you please call 8 o'clock?

No, I can't. You see, they're going to get me. Please help me.

Sorry?

Help me, please. I need help. I need to go to Uganda.

Me and my boyfriend. He's a man and he's my lover.

We want to go to Uganda together and get married.

What do you want from me?

Well, I want to get married.

I'm the messenger.

Yeah? Are you Greek?

Yes, I'm Greek.

Are you Malacca?

Sorry?

Are you Malacca?

Shit on you.

I'm gonna take that shit on you as a yes

You gotta read your mind

Wait, wait, wait

Hold on, hold on

I did, Jin, call the Turkish Horse guy

And say you wanna shit on him

Oh my god

Alright, we'll do that

Oh my god, this guy just has potential

We're in all over it

Jeez, alright, hang on

Let me do Turkish Horse

I like that idea

And we now have his house number

You want me to do it?

Yeah, here's Turkish

We got his house number now too, by the way

Let me, let me do it

Hello, how are you?

Hi

Yeah, it's been a while

I haven't spoken to you in some time

Give me one second

Yeah, I'm waiting a second

Hello

Hello, yeah, how are you?

Good, how are you?

Yeah, yeah

This is Mr. Stewart

I haven't spoken to anybody there in some time

It's been a while for me

But I was in there recently

And I took a shit on one of the waiters

Oh, good, good

Do you want more?

Yes, I'd like to come in

I have a lot

Yeah, I want to come in

will you let me speak bloody hell i want to come in and i want to take a shit all over you can i

do that no i'll give it to you you'll shit on me yeah i can't you shit in my will you poop on my

mouth in my lips everywhere into my nostrils and my ears i want you i want you to fill my nose

your mom also my mother you'd like to shit on my mother no what's wrong with you

your mother you would not do it to my mother are you a lesbian no i i have a one guy he has a

Let me speak with that man.

I want to speak with him.

I'll call him and I'll bring him.

You'll bring him?

What do you mean you'll bring him?

Will we shit on him together?

The two of us will make a shit movie with him.

And he can fuck you too.

Do you know?

Yeah, yeah.

He's very good.

And I'll call for this also.

I'm sure.

I'm very sure.

But first I want to take a big shit.

And I want to shit all over the restaurant.

Over the tables and the chairs and all the people in the restaurant.

You know, you're crazy.

What do you mean I'm crazy?

You need to come with me and then we can shit together in one of those little shit tanks.

You know the shit tank?

You're the shit.

You are shit. What do you mean I'm shit?

You're bloody shit. Why are you swearing at me, you shit?

I'll call the police. He can fuck you too. Okay?

Why would the policeman fuck me? What's wrong with you?

Why are you fucking swearing as well?

Because you're crazy.

No, no, I'm not crazy. I'm... I'm...

Haiwan. Do you know Haiwan?

You're Haiwan, yeah.

Yeah, exactly. That's not crazy, is it? You idiot.

Yeah, you're an idiot.

Idiot. You are an idiot. I'm going to take a shit in your restaurant, all over the people there, and everybody is going to smell like me.

You'll kick my in-ass?

Yeah, I will.

Are you stupid? What are you, crazy? How can you kick inside?

Why are you calling? Why don't you come here?

I'm coming. I'm coming there because I want to tell you that I'm coming first, so that you can prepare, and you can put the toilet paper on the floor.

Yeah, yeah, come shit it.

Everywhere.

Excellent.

I will be there

and shortly we will shit.

Together we will shit.

In the here like five minutes, okay?

Yeah, excellent.

Yeah, I'll be there

and you will be ready for me.

Okay, see you.

Okay, excellent.

I've got a big shit coming.

Oh, dude.

I love her.

She's kind of hot.

I would so do her.

The Turkish horse.

Yes, that keeps her in bed.

Dude, it did not do the shit.

Could you imagine what sex would be

with her in bed and shit?

with that filthy fucking mouth?

I don't know if any of you...

Who is it that got a picture of her?

Someone did. I don't know.

It might have been FBI Steve. Someone out there.

Oh, let me see a picture.

I want to see a picture.

Let me see the show notes.

Oh, man. It was from last week. I'd have to see.

It's in there. Someone's got to have that link

from her Facebook.

She would be the queen of angry sex.

I'm telling you.

Also, whoever is in control

of the Charlie Facebook, why are you ignoring

Oh, yeah, there is a Charlie Facebook now.

There is a business Facebook.

There is a business Facebook?

I thought they just picked the picture of Charlie that was in the Honolulu Advertiser and used it.

Oh, I'm talking about the other one.

Whatchamacallit.

Turkish Horse?

Turkish Horse.

Hey, Jen, this is the picture of the—rather, I'm linking now in the chat room for you her Facebook.

Okay, I wanted to see a picture.

She has a Facebook?

She has a Facebook, yeah.

Oh, shit! That's her!

Keep your boner down. It's alright.

Put it in the show notes so I can get it.

Bring her back.

Alright, I'll call her back.

We should go on her Facebook page and just post links

to random Jed Stewart pranks.

Who's the guy?

That's him.

Yeah, that's him.

And then the thing is,

have you guys ever seen, I don't know if you guys

watch Caribbean Enthusiasm, there's an episode

from the last season where Larry was the he's Jewish of course and he was

fucking a Palestinian broad and she was like fucking him and like being all mean

like you fucking Jew bastard like saying all this shit

hello hello this is mr. Stewart I want to speak to you yeah of course it's

serious what are you stupid okay hello yeah yeah it's mr stewart again who mr stewart mr stewart

we spoke momentarily yes yeah yeah what happened was that i can't come now so i want to wait wait

wait wait wait yeah but listen i want you and me together i think we should do something we

should go somewhere we should you know yeah yeah yeah i'd like it i like no no i can't come now

No, but I want to come later.

When do you close?

When I'll come in after closing time.

I'm closing soon.

Very good.

And you'll make a table for the two of us with a candle and a pot, a big pot.

And then the two of us, we will poo into the pot and we'll mix the poo.

Yeah, come here.

Yeah, I'm coming.

That's what I'm saying.

But I want you to talk dirty to me so that I can...

Yeah, I prepare tables.

Come here.

You prepare tables.

Yeah, I'm waiting for you.

What will you do to me?

Tell me what you will do.

I can do anything what you want.

You will do anything?

Then you are a dirty f**k, you're a hayvan f**k, you know?

You're a hayvan, not I am.

No, yeah, but you said anything.

How can I be hayvan if you said anything?

You don't know what you're talking about.

It's hayvan, you cannot be.

Hayvan, Lula, hayvan, that's it.

Are you coming or not?

I want to come, but I want to come into you, inside you.

Come here, be man.

Into the back, do you understand?

Yeah, come here.

Do you like it from behind?

I have a customer now, can you come soon?

Yeah, let me talk to your customer.

Let me speak with them.

You're stupid.

She's like, don't fuck around.

You're going to fuck me, fuck me.

You know, that's what she said.

Hold on.

I bet that the Turkish horse is probably at home.

Here's what I'm talking about.

Listen to this.

Listen to this scene real quick.

You'll see.

I've got to sign in to view this video.

Come on.

I'm going to sign in.

Let me watch it.

Hang on, hang on.

I've got this here.

Mokeman, recover.

Mokeman, you there?

Are you awake?

Don't pass out in the taxi and get busted.

Oh, he's fucking done.

Oh, there he is, there he is.

Oh, look, I just got a picture of that lady.

She looks okay in the small display picture on Facebook,

but I think she just got a close-up picture of her face.

She's not that hot.

I'd do her, so it wasn't the way she talks,

so she probably brings it, man.

Yeah, she probably is a pretty good...

She probably is a pretty darn good role in the hay.

There was one Carlito had last week

that was a close-up of her in the actual restaurant.

Hey, she looked damn good in that one.

Yeah, that link, I do not know where it is.

That was a good pick of her.

Is that the one that FBI Steve got?

Yeah, yeah, that was one that, I don't know where he,

I think he got it from like a magazine review or Yelp.

Fucking Jew!

You Zionist pig.

Occupying fuck.

Occupy this.

I'm an occupier.

Well, fuck the Jew out of you.

That's not so easy.

You want to fuck me?

Like Israel fucked my country?

Show me what you can do!

Reminds me of what something Theodore Herschel once said.

There it is.

What the hell?

He calls Apple to tell him this is the joke of the day

and play that fucking sound for him.

This, yeah.

Like, you want to hear this joke?

What did the one Jew muffin say to the other Jew muffin?

And then fucking play that.

Huh?

You circus of size.

Hey, actually, hold on.

Hey, can I just one-zoom up and say the other-zoom up?

Yeah, we sick him dead.

All right, am I taking a shower?

Let's see if the guy picks up the house.

No, they're both dead.

We're calling the guy's house.

Ah, you silly bastard.

Listen, focus.

We're calling the guy's house now.

The horse.

Whose house?

Turkish horse guy.

Oh, you want me to talk?

Yeah, if he picks up.

Yeah, okay.

I think he's going to pick up, though, if his wife is at the restaurant.

Hello?

Yeah?

Yeah, how are you?

I'm not bad, thank you.

I spoke to...

Yeah, I spoke to...

And she said it was okay if I came into the restaurant and the two of us, after work, we would just be sitting together, and it would just be the two of us there, and I said I'd bring a pot, and the two of us, we would shit into the pot, do you understand? And we would mix, we would mix poo, do you understand?

You know what, motherfucker?

Yes.

Yeah, I don't.

Okay, but I wondered if perhaps you would like to come with me.

What?

But you always say the same thing. You always talk about man and everything.

I fuck your mother. I fuck, fuck your damn family.

I don't shit on the balls to come over.

You know what, motherfucker? You are gonna...

Why?

If you're a fucking man, why don't you come on over and...

I'm coming. That's what I'm saying to you.

I'm gonna come to the restaurant very shortly, and she is going to...

If you're a man enough, you come, motherfucker.

How are you going to shoot me?

You have a gun?

You come on over and you will find out, you motherfucker.

You bloody idiot.

I'm going to take a big shit.

Why don't you come on over?

I'm coming.

That's why I'm calling you.

I want to tell you that I'm on my way.

Come on over and I blow your fucking brains out, motherfucker.

That's a very nasty thing to say.

You're a high one, Dula High One.

Why would you say something so bad to me?

You son of a bitch.

You owl.

You are an owl.

I will fuck your whore hiding behind a telephone

Yeah, yeah, I'm a man

I'm a real, I take manly shit

If I ever come across a fucking bad man

You know that, right?

You think so, yeah

You motherfucker

Why don't you show up?

Why don't you show your goddamn ugly face?

I don't want to show you my face

I want to show, I'm gonna poo in your restaurant

Although, do you have a toilet?

Do you have a toilet in your restaurant?

I'm gonna fuck you and your goddamn family

And I'm gonna shit on your family, you fucking

I don't have a family. They all died because I took a big shit and it stunk out the house

They have no goods.

That's true.

Fucking liberal state.

Right, where is he talking about them?

I'll try a different voice, swing him back.

Oh, alright, let's see if he picks up.

Let me tell you, okay?

This is fucking bullshit.

No, no, call him back and tell him you're coming with Larry the Redneck and all his buddies that are armed.

That's gonna be a Poopoo video.

I'll try and bring you guys in, just don't say anything bad.

Yeah, don't talk over gin, this is good stuff.

Hey, you there, Mr. Turkish guy?

Hello!

No, I don't think I did, he hung up.

Yeah, we may have to fix off to that pot tonight.

I don't think he's gonna be picking up

He's freaking pissed

He's calling his wife at the restaurant right now

Trying to figure out

Maybe we should call the restaurant

Cause you know she's gonna pick up

You know he's really

That's the first time he picked up at the house

He's like this fucking guy

Knows my wife's name now

And knows my house

This is fucking bullshit I tell you

Fucking people calling my house and shit

You show up

I'm going to fuck you

Charlie got what we made fun of

His daughter

What Charlie you talking about

Yeah remember how we finally got him pissed

Again by talking about his daughter

Yeah yeah that really got him

Finally got him he was a little wound up today

I know

I was happy to finally get pissed again

Should we call Charlie then

I don't think you ever called Charlie

I know I don't think I ever

Did Charlie call

I did call well yeah

Yeah, Jin has.

Let's see if we pick...

I already talked to him once,

and let's see if he picks up again.

See.

Yeah, Jin, make sure you say

you're going to chinga his daughter.

He'll give you a kiss.

Chinga.

Chinga tu madre.

What is a daughter in Spanish?

Hola, Española.

I want to...

Hello.

Yes.

Yeah, how are you, Charlie?

Listen to me, man.

I'm going to get together with your daughter,

and I'm going to chinga.

You know, we're going to chinga your daughter.

Charlie.

yeah sorry i fucked up that's all right yeah we all know we all know about irene everybody's had

their turn with her me myself oh yeah all right we got some uk numbers here to get to i don't

think we got anything pending that i don't remember uh new news in the fucking chat room

going nuts why why what's this problem hold on let me do it i'm just keeping an eye on it and

it's like what the hell it's time to call the uk that's why all right yeah let me do a uk joke of

of the day call. Oh, here we go.

Zyklon, you've been nothing but

fucking roses tonight. Here we go.

Do it in your normal voice, say.

Like, try to, like... Yeah, do it in your normal voice.

Oh, yeah. I'm not doing Larry the Redneck.

Alright, David Wilson in the UK.

Here we go. Oh, shit.

Sounds like he might like some cock.

I'm gonna call the old guy from the last

two weeks again. Your joke of the day

for 9-13. There's a

black guy hopping around your yard with one

leg. What do you do?

Reload and shoot again

Hello, is David there?

Sorry?

Is David there?

Yes, please

We'll put him on the phone

Alright, hurry up

Give me cover

Hello

Hi, David

Yeah

Hey, I got Zyklon

He's got a joke of the day

Go ahead

There's a black guy

And an Mexican in a car

Who's driving?

The cop

Did you get it?

David?

Yeah

Did you understand the joke?

What's the matter, David?

David!

Listen to me, man.

Are you there?

Fuck.

No, you fuck off, you bastard.

Why are you swearing at me?

Fuck you, you son of a bitch.

I want to ask you a question, David.

Hello?

He was doing a lot of really heavy, like, Jason breathing in the fucking thing there.

He's like, I have this fucking shit.

Little fucking mouth breathers out there in the UK.

All right, here's another David Wilson, a different one.

In the UK?

Yeah, in the UK.

Claim your people, Nunu.

Let me do it.

I'm going to do it.

I'm going to read this guy.

Oh, yeah, I'm going to...

Skipton, we're Skipton.

Right.

I'm going to ring him.

I'm going to bust him out.

Ring me up, Scotty.

Ring me up.

Hello?

Hello, yeah, how's it going this morning?

Who's that?

It's Mr. Stewart.

Oh, mom, mom, mom.

How are you?

Just a moment.

Just a moment, please.

Yeah, yeah.

Let me talk to David.

Hello?

Hello, David.

How's it going this morning?

How are you?

You're a complete chump bringing it this time.

No, I'm not.

I wanted to wake you up and see how you were doing.

Up, up, up, up, up.

You know what I mean?

David, did I wake you, mate?

I wanted to wake you up and give you a good fucking, you know,

give you a good scene to, eh?

Up, up, up, David.

Oi, don't breathe down the phone, you fucker.

You're not shitting about them being mouth breathers over there, Nunu.

You're fucking, people are messed up.

Yeah, but I mean, come on.

You've caught this guy at 6 in the morning

He's probably like lying on his pillow

And just lying into the phone

I can only hope

His woman's jerking him off

Or something

I'm not ready for this call yet

Jerk me off

I could imagine though

If someone found Nunu's number

And we accidentally called him

Oh my god, Nunu

Yeah, that's pretty bad

Why don't we get the arm on Nunu

Yeah, definitely.

We need to commission an arm mission here.

Crazy fucker from California.

We need to get the arm on that, too.

He doesn't have a problem calling in.

He says he doesn't have a phone, but he has the Internet.

He doesn't have the Internet, though.

I know.

He's got Verizon Internet.

He says Verizon Internet.

I'm going to get Skype.

Seriously, dude, get Skype.

Hello?

Hello.

Yeah, good morning.

How are you?

Who is that, please?

This is Mr. Stewart, please.

And what I'm doing is I'm calling around the neighborhood

just to wake people up at this hour of the morning

because I'm very immature and I like doing that.

Hello?

That was for Richard Clare.

I completely forgot to give you the name.

Jen, on the next call,

just start breathing real heavy into your fucking mic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay, that's right.

Okay, okay, I'll really do it.

That's right.

Call her back.

Hello, Richard?

Is Richard there?

Richard, I heard him say, who's that?

He was there for a second.

Oh, no, no.

Oh, that was you.

Okay, never mind.

All right, all right, all right.

Allison instead.

Allison Wilson.

Okay.

How does it sound if I go like this?

That sounds creepy.

That is.

Hello, Jim.

I don't know if you're around for these, but do you hear...

Hello?

I got a bunch of numbers.

Hello.

How are you disbanded?

Huh?

Hey, I just wanted to ring it around because I need someone to talk to.

I'm feeling a little bit, you know.

It's Mr. Stewart.

I'm feeling a bit funny.

It's Mr. Stewart.

Mr. Stewart.

Pay attention, right?

I want to get over there to your house, right?

And then to go there.

You know what I mean?

You do daddy stuff.

Turkish horse, Kyle, deserves to stand on his own in the park.

Next UK call, I'll talk to him, breathe heavy into the phone for him.

Does it sound okay when I do it?

Yeah, it's good.

Actually, you didn't hear, she was trying to like, what the fuck?

She was kind of like, hello?

I'll talk to the next one.

I'm going to mute myself.

That was good stuff.

Hang on, let me, that reminds me of something I want to point out here.

Do we have any more requests to prank, by the way, or just UK numbers?

I'll check the request to prank in a second.

Listen to this.

It was a light, great, notorious B.I.G. being prank called by Puff Daddy.

And he didn't even know about it.

And they put it on the album.

What?

Yeah, when he was still alive, Puff Daddy prank called him twice.

Just to put him on the album, he, like, called him twice to fuck with him.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I never knew what that was.

It's funny.

Yeah, it's funny.

That's kind of what I was talking about.

When you start to call these next people,

I was going to do it, just start breathing real heavy into the phone.

You just start saying shit like...

Well, my mom used to get calls.

When I was a kid, I remember people would call me, like, that was, like, the big thing.

Like, guys would do that.

You'd call a woman and just start breathing.

Yeah, I think heavy breathing, that was, like, the first prank call ever.

Yeah.

You know what me and my buddy really used to like to do is we would call each other.

Poo on each other and then eat it?

No, you're a sick bastard.

We would call each other through AT&T, and as soon as the collect call would come through,

we'd ask for the operator, and we'd just start talking a bunch of shit to the operator back and forth,

and they would just get so pissed off.

off they're like uh this person declined to call because they said you were an asshole

all right brian jones isn't maybe we should call an at&t operator

hello mr turn your choice this is so-and-so from at&t with a collect call

charges we should call as at&t rather than calling at&t

here's a better one for a collect call for charlie from his fucking daughter i read

here's a classic one

hello Mildred Monday

this is AT&T with a collect call

Mildred Monday's wanting to make a long distance pay phone call

to New Zealand

I am Mildred Monday

I'm not doing that

I remember that for some of those

pretty funny

alright Brian Jones

it's 1 o'clock I only got so much more time I can do

because I have an eye appointment at 8.15

in the morning

7 hours from now or so

You pussy, it's 6 o'clock

Well, okay

Hey, I gotta get going soon

But I'm still here

Brian Jones in Australia

In South Australia

Rapid fire, and shut up

Let's do it, no more bullshit

A few pranks and we're out of here

Yeah, you're doing this, I'm not

Ken's doing it

Brian Jones

Ken's here, I'll do it

Brian Jones

yes hello brian yes yes how are you sir yes yes this is brad westwood calling

mr westwood mr westwood friends with mr stewart i live uh number 26 just around the way no well

thank you very much i'm sorry you're welcome welcome sorry i was trying to breathe hard in

the microphone i couldn't fucking make it work you sound like let me let me talk to him i'll

I apologize.

Yes.

Brian Jones?

Yes.

Yes, hi.

I want to apologize.

My associate was just calling you.

You were confused, was it?

Yes.

Okay.

He's calling about he needs to talk to you about something personal.

He likes you, and he wants to talk dirty to you and touch himself when he talks to you.

Go ahead.

Oh, look.

Well, here's the thing, sir.

This is Mr. West.

I don't think I like this, no.

Thank you very much.

Oh, you want this.

You don't want to listen.

Hold on one second.

Don't hang up.

Thank you.

Please.

No, I want you to poo on me.

I want you to poo on me.

I think today's episode should be something...

How should we set the related to poo?

Yeah, you should...

Like, this has been a really shit show, literally, or something like that.

The shit show?

The shit show, there you go.

The shit show, yeah.

The shit show.

I like that, the shit show.

And, of course, the last Turkish horse call should be by itself.

I mean, indifferently, back there with the original Charlie ones.

Who's this?

I'll make up for it.

Marjorie, Marjorie.

Welcome to voicemail

The person you have called is unavailable

Please leave a message after the tone

Herman

Herman Robinson

Has the joke of the day yet

Or is it still that crappy muffin one

It's the muffin one

They only change it once

They have the same seven jokes

And every day is one of them

I think Carlito should speak to Zappos

And feed them a new joke

And then play that

that I'm going to fuck the shit out of him down the line.

No, have me suggest jokes for him.

You're all going to be incredibly racist.

Welcome to voicemail.

Oh, Herman.

Oh, my God.

That number looks really familiar.

Is it your mom?

No.

What did you say the guy was called?

Herman Robinson?

I don't know, but the number looks really, really familiar.

Is it your old number?

No, it just looks very similar to mine.

Oh, what folds are we going to bring?

I wonder if that could ever happen.

E.G. Jones.

Here we go.

You doing this?

E.G.

I'll take it.

Who's doing this?

Dirty Iron.

Dirty.

Big dirty.

I'm going to mute myself for a second.

Got to do some mouth breathing.

Hello.

Your call cannot be taken at the moment, so please leave your message after the tone.

Yeah.

No one's answering.

Thomas Cook?

Come on, Thomas Cook.

I'll take it.

You're going to take this.

Thomas Cook?

I'll take it.

You will take it.

We all know you.

We know you will.

Hey.

Try it again.

Thomas Cook.

Good voicemail.

Ah.

The person you have called is on the phone.

Jeez.

Thomas Copp instead.

Let Dirty Aaron do this one.

He's been trying to.

Thomas Copp.

I've got to redeem myself.

Yeah, let Aaron do this one.

You get the next one, Zicklin.

Okay.

I don't care.

I'll just be back up for joke of the day if anybody wants to.

Thomas.

Thomas who?

Copp.

C-O-P-P.

O-P-P.

Okay.

Yes, hello.

Good morning, Thomas.

Good morning.

Yes, good morning.

This is Mr. Westwood.

How are you today?

This is Mr. Westwood with the Toilet Administration Machines.

Are you there?

Yeah, I don't know Mr. Westwood.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

Well, I'm calling because we're having some trouble with our toilets.

We've been getting a report from your toilet that it's been flushing too many times.

I think I've got the wrong lapel.

You think so?

Well, what is your address?

On Road Green.

21.

Oh, I think we're trying to reach 22.

Do you happen to know the people that live next door there?

No, no 22.

No 22?

What's the next one down?

what's the next one down oh do you know mr stewart oh really well here's the deal is that uh uh mr

stewart sent me a video of a man shitting on another man and so what the problem is is we

have this shit covering ourselves and we need to get it off of our bodies and into the toilet so

we're wondering if you can come over and and get it into your toilet

yes yes that is definitely true and it's two it's two men shitting on each other and they're

performing uh disgusting homosexual acts for them yeah for sure for sure so do you think we could

come over you don't need an end of it no no we've already got that covered good so mr westwood and

mr stewart were shitting all over each other and we're looking to come over and uh get cleaned up

think we might be able to stop by no where oh to the bath house yeah go to middleton bath so

oh do you know do you run it over there are you the are you the head mistress not really no i'm

retired oh you're retired so you only take it up the ass once in a while oh yeah that's a problem

with the uh not being able to make it on time yeah definitely is what's that right what i need

you to do is run and go and flush your toilet no you're not gonna make it all right well it's good

having a chat with you okay look after yourself all right shit oh okay this guy he gave you some

you say he's tried it before he gave you a bath i just couldn't he was just he just rolled with it

but sometimes I don't know what to do when that happens.

I wonder if you're a senile or what.

He sounded like Nunu likes his Clive and Chive and something,

some two guys that all they do is talk about cunt.

Have you ever heard them playing that shit?

God, I don't know why Nunu's so into it.

It's like some two British guys that used to be on the radio in the 70s.

He's a sick fucker.

That's all we know.

He's like, you fucking cunt.

And I said, you fucking cunt.

Yeah, fucking cunt.

Yeah, the only British comedy I know is Monty Python.

God.

Wow.

It's been a good show.

We got about two more numbers here left, and that's it.

We're done.

Let me do one more.

One more.

Okay, you got it.

No more confirmations.

No more confirmations, Lonesome.

Thomas Green.

Go ahead.

Go ahead, Dirty.

Oh, the stream is fucking...

Oh, Jin, you got to start yelling.

Jin, I love it when you yell, when you start fucking yelling at people.

Yeah, I'll do a yelling one next week.

I want to do something else.

Remember that Chav thing you were doing?

Like, you did something once.

That was kind of funny.

I'm trying to remember.

I want to see if I can get them to play along with the game that I've got.

What's the name?

How about a nice game of chess?

Thomas Greaves.

All right.

Hello?

Hello.

Hello, Thomas.

How are you?

It's Jin.

Hello.

Yeah, it's Jin, Mr. Stewart.

But listen, I've got a thing that I'm doing at the moment,

a little bit of a thing in the village, yeah?

And I want you to join in.

Basically, it's a game, and it's called...

I think the software's got the wrong number.

It's just trying to fool me with this.

Thank you very much.

Get lost.

I'd try another one.

Oh, man, this is...

I was having a wank the other night.

What the fuck is he thinking?

Yeah, a wank.

The telly was on.

Yeah.

Thomas Hamlet.

That was pretty good today.

What did you use to arouse him?

Tom what?

Hamlet?

Hamlet.

Visual stimulator.

Yeah, I had to test it.

Just Tom, yeah?

Tom Hamlet, Thomas Hamlet.

Well, I wasn't looking at it.

Oh, I see.

Just nodded.

I don't get the Derek and Clive thing.

I don't know why I knew you so went to it.

It's just these two radio guys

who sound like old British guys

that just sit there and curse on the radio

and he thinks it's the most hilarious thing ever.

I love.

So, like, Howard Stern?

Not even.

They just have a stupid conversation

and he thinks it's the best.

Hello, morning.

How are you?

What do you want?

I want to tell you that I went to the zoo the other day

and I had sex with a rhinoceros

and I peed on a rhinoceros.

Hello.

All right, I'm calling her back.

That was funny.

Okay, let me tell her at the end of the day.

Wait, wait, wait.

I got two at the same time.

They took to each other.

I don't know who's going to talk.

Hi, sorry we're not here at the moment.

If you leave your name and number,

we'll get back to you.

There you go.

Oh.

Sorry.

Well, I got more.

Don't worry, John.

You got two numbers left.

John Ackland.

Here we go. John Ackland.

This has to work. I want to piss somebody off tonight.

Dude, you already got a certain force, so they're mad.

Yeah, I know, but this is going to be like an individual.

That guy's just an animal. Who cares?

It's Mr. Stewart. How are you this morning?

It's Mr. Stewart. I was at the zoo yesterday, and I met you there. Do you remember?

No, I wasn't.

Yes, you were, and I was, don't deny it, and I was having sex with a rhinoceros,

And then I peed all over

the rhinoceros is probably just

that's silly

she had roughly hung the phone off

she had to go get her fucking dildo the other day

she was all excited

alright here's the last one I got

good luck Jen

I'll give this to Jen

he's been behaving

I steal your show every time

I don't care I've done plenty of pranks

it's fine I don't mind

the last hour of the show is always

everyone else doing a prank

team effort

Team effort, yep.

It's a collaboration.

You're okay.

Hello?

Hello.

Yeah, morning. How is it?

Um, it's a bit early in the morning, yes.

Yeah, I understand that, but I need some help from you and I need a place to stay.

I'm sorry, we're not a boarding house.

Yeah, I don't care, but you need to make it available for me.

Get it hung up.

Fucking haiwan.

Haiwan.

Ah, shit.

Haiwan?

Edgid.

Hello?

He just put the phone to the side, he's not like...

I said I heard a lady go, hello.

It's getting difficult to hang on that phone, though.

I don't know.

All right, guys.

Well, that's it.

We're done here.

Our job is done.

It's a good night.

Try it one more time.

See if he picks up.

The same one?

The last one we did?

Yeah, yeah.

The same guy.

The high one.

High one.

Tell him his name is high one.

Come on, you fucker.

Pick up.

He's not going to pick up.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Well, game's over.

Game over.

Ah!

Sorry, everybody.

I ruined the show.

Oh, whatever.

Well, Zyklon, you're out of here on your ass.

Thanks for being on.

Good luck this week in the football machine.

I'll see you all next week.

You have a better show than this week.

And Dirty Aaron, you're out of here on your ass.

Thank you.

All right, thanks.

Thank you.

See you later.

Bye.

And who else is here?

Ken.

Kenneth.

Yes, before I go, I would like you to admit defeat right here on the air right goddamn now.

I admit defeat, yes.

I relinquish my game one, week one game to you.

You win.

Fine.

it's over

alright see you Ken

he just really got into that

alright

Jen thanks man

yeah thanks for having me on

I'll try to come a little bit more

maybe next week

I'll come again

please we'll be here

come again

alright see you man

I'll come after an hour or something

alright

see you man

thanks for having me

good show

always a pleasure

peace out man

bye

alright

Milky are you still here

Milky

Milk's

Milkman

you might have fallen asleep

oh boy

let me try to call him back

Let me call Milkman and direct.

While I'm dialing Milkman, I just want to let you all know that I appreciate all the numbers that were sent in.

Lonesome, thanks for sending in numbers, all the requested pranks.

I think we did pretty good tonight.

God, that was a lot of good pranks tonight.

Please enjoy the following music while your party is being reached.

For some reason, I can't remember what they were other than the Turkish horse, but there were some pretty good calls there.

A lot of pooping, right?

Yeah, a lot of the pooping calls and stuff like that.

Oh, yeah, the layaway calls are good.

Thanks, Brad, for getting those.

I appreciate it.

Good work with that, Bradley.

Oh.

Hey, horse.

What happened?

Nothing.

I thought you fell asleep or something, so I figured I'd wake you up and call you back just in case.

Oh, no, I was here.

Oh, cool, cool.

You all right?

You sound kind of low, low energy.

Yeah, I'm all right.

All right, well, take us out of here, man.

We're done.

It's over.

It's been a good show.

Excellent, man.

Yeah.

Okay.

You going to take us out of here?

Everything's done?

Yeah, yeah, we're wrapping up.

Yeah, I got to go.

time to go

oh okay

alright alright

well alright

well just like to

thank everybody

for joining in

all our friends

right there

in 90.6 the mouth

all our friends

over there

at syndicate

and blue planet

cactus

thank you so much

especially thank you

I try to our

listener

do this every week

once they're actually

sure you can find

right here on the

internet

we ask to bring

a friend

or bring an enemy

you're always welcome

here at the madhouse

yeah

and like to thank

our numbers hit man

numbers hit man

all hands held high

Thank you so much for all your help.

Everybody, call us Frank.

Thank you so much.

And, frankly, especially thank you, our listeners.

That's right.

You are the reason why we do this every week.

And without the air and lift,

generally seem to be mad.

How about we do it out to you, fearless leader?

And why no?

Thank you so much for having us on, brother.

Appreciate it, man.

Milkman, go to sleep, man.

You sound like you're half dead.

Poor Milkman.

You sound like you're half dreaming.

You all right, man?

I was asleep almost, man.

I don't know what happened.

I was sitting here listening, and then I didn't hear anything.

Oh, poor milk, man.

All right.

Well, get some sleep, man.

Go finish up your...

When are you done with this school shit, man, so we can finally have fun back in the old days?

You're going to be done this week, or does it still keep going on for a while?

No, it's going to take a little while longer.

I'll tell you more about it later.

All right, man.

Well, get some rest.

I got to be up early.

I got a doctor's appointment early, so I got to get going, too, man.

All right.

Okay, bro.

Hey, thanks a lot.

See you, man.

All right, everybody.

Thanks.

Have a good weekend.

See you later.

Bye.

Calls (37, 1 h 41 min of 2 h 57 min)

Transcript

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