I Have Six Toilets – 10/25/12 Show

you choose one person no motherfucker i'm an indian you're an american indian you son of a

bitch are you a bhenchod no i'm just you bring your mother out on shore what are you got it

you can go fuck yourself you see what i mean you nasty little bitch i'm putting that on my

computer right here she said f-u-c-k-u i'm not playing no fucking games i i fuck you son of a

you're listening to the madhouse radio prankcast

hey ladies i'm carlito by myself because milkman sucks his phone sucks his face sucks we'll try

him again that's why we're late because i've been trying to call him i get through to him

And his direct number is like, don't call my direct number, call me later.

Well, the Google number doesn't work, stupid faggot.

That's why I played the faggot poem.

Damn it.

Hello?

I'm sorry, I'm unable to take your call right now.

What an asshole.

Please give me the name and number of the fact for calling.

You know, you're a real asshole.

Even your beep doesn't go right, because it gets half a beep and then there's a regular beep, asshole.

Why doesn't your phone work, right?

And why is it when I finally get through to you on one number, you're like, don't call me this number, call me other ones.

I can spend another five minutes trying to get a hold of you.

Why don't you get your act straight, Milkman?

Get your act straight, really.

Come on.

Organize your life and organize yourself and take a little pride and confidence in the

way you conduct yourself and conduct your life and try to be more professional.

Thank you.

Think about it.

Jesus.

I just don't understand the guys sometimes, you guys.

I don't get them.

Anyway, I'm in a bad mood.

This Milkman guy's got me in a bad mood.

Anyway, so it's, what day is it?

October 25th, something like that, October 25th, see what, when I try to call Milkman's

cell phone directly, it comes up saying, is your phone network airing, did something happen

in California, did San Francisco fall into the sea finally, because of all the homosexuals,

is that what happened, did God send two angels to burn Sodom and Gomorrah, our modern day

Sodom and Gomorrah, which would be San Francisco and Oakland, let me know, report, well anyway,

Anyway, well, I'm here.

That's all you need, right?

I'm your host, Carlito.

MadHouseLive.com is the website.

The new and improved MadHouseLive.com.

Be sure to send your...

I can fix the camera here.

I didn't even line the camera up right tonight.

God damn it.

Thumb in the way.

MadHouseLive.com is the website.

Send your request of pranks there.

If you got any prank car requests, send them to me there.

You can also send them if you're using AOL or Yahoo Instant Messenger.

The screen name is Yahoo...

See what I mean?

MadHouse Radio on AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger.

messenger and if you're using msn messenger madhouse at live.com i had been in communication

with jen stewart earlier in the night uh well earlier than i for him but he's not around right

now maybe he'll be up later he never told me whether or not he was going to be on but he was

around earlier um i want to say thank you if you're listening tuck is has been working diligently

on uh some new graphics for the madhouse website including a new banner we're putting the final

touches on that but it's still a work in progress pretty soon next time you visit the madhouse live

website you will see a new banner um i saw ken and some others asking if there's no video tonight

there is video videos working i'm on the video stream right now you probably have to refresh

your page because it does not come up automatically anymore when video starts if it wasn't on when you

first started uh looking at the page you have to refresh that page for it to come up i think if you

hit man if you know if you hit play it doesn't come up minu asking is jen on tomorrow no i do

not know jen is on tomorrow i do not know i meant to ask him and i forgot so sorry there goes ken

refreshing his page i guess he's in the chat room quit anyway we got a lot of we got a lot of

requested pranks here i'm sure lonesome loser would be joining us here shortly last hour of

the show we open up the skype lines if you want to join us on skype please do not call in into

the last hour of the show your call would be ignored but that's the last hour of the show

Skype machines will get opened up for everyone who wants to join in.

See, I said don't call in now, and look who's calling in.

Stupid Zyklon's calling in.

Look, Zyklon calling.

I just said don't call in unless it's the last hour of the show.

Zyklon, what's going on, man?

Come on, man.

You're killing me.

Damn it.

Goddamn killing me.

I'm in a mood tonight, man.

I'm in a bad mood.

I'm having a bad week.

We got good news, though.

Brad, RBCP, Brad Carter, wherever the fuck you want to call him,

he's sending in some stuff here, some layaway customers.

customers. Those are always fun to get to. Maybe those will cheer me up. At least Brad's coming

through tonight, Milkman. If you're listening, Milkman, at least Brad is coming through tonight.

You're not, but at least Brad is. Let me call a good friend of mine, see if he could cheer me up

here. Artie wants to be on tonight. We'll give Artie a call. Hey, there we go. We can call Artie.

Hey, man. Look at that. Call Artie. See how he's doing. He can substitute.

Please leave your message for a pay. Oh, there we go. Yes, we can't talk to him.

That's not Artie. That's someone else. That was a secret for you guys, whoever that was going to

to be oh well guess we can't talk to him guess you guys will never know who it was going to be

oh well well let's call evil already let's see if he picks up he said he wanted to be on

let's try him we do have a lot of requester pranks thank you everyone who sent in requester

pranks the person whom you're trying to reach is currently unavailable he's already played this

maybe maybe peach fuzz will calm me down really pissed off guys you know i got a notice last night

here here's here's the kind of notice here's the kind of idiots that i work with i'm gonna go off

we're dropping dimes tonight i got an email last night 5 p.m send a 5 p.m after i leave the office

you know so after i go to the office and i work yesterday work till about 4 45 5 o'clock i put

in my put them in about nine hours yesterday i got there early and i i go over i put my stuff

in my car in the parking garage right i grab my ipad i walk downtown i walk to the cigar store

i usually go i usually go to the cigar shop three or four times a week after work maybe once one

one day a week i don't go i'm a regular there i know the regulars the friends including the owner

and i go there i got my ipad going i'm on the wi-fi i'm looking i'm checking out stuff on the

new website and talking with tuck and chatting with tabachi and darth foxx death foxx in the

new chat room that we're all using all this stuff or taking care of some business and this email

comes in from the corporate headquarters place that i work for letting me know that i'm being

being laid off november 9th two weeks from tomorrow i just flip i get mad because who the

fuck lets you an employee know hey you're a valued employee let's send you an email to let you know

you're gonna be laid off no we're not gonna talk to you in person we're not gonna give you a phone

call i'm gonna have the decency these goddamn people these goddamn fucking indians that i work

for oh my god that's the third time they do something like that where they've changed my

work status or like they they they change my work status from a w-2 regular employee to an

independent contractor which means i have to pay my own taxes i don't get benefits and all this

shit they won't they don't pay my social security and all that stuff so at the end of the year in

april when taxes are due i gotta pay my own taxes you're not paying into it they sent me an email

5 p.m saying that then they sent me an email again later on saying what was it canceling my direct

Direct deposit, 5 p.m. the day before direct deposit is supposed to hit.

At the end of the month when rent is due.

Oh, hey, by the way, we're not paying you tomorrow.

We're sending you a paper check.

Oh, yeah, then a month ago, a month ago, they forgot to pay me altogether.

They didn't even send me a paycheck.

A whole week went by.

Just about five days go by.

Five days after I was supposed to get my paycheck,

I'm sitting there waiting like an asshole for it to come in the mail.

And I call and no one answers.

I call and no one answers.

and i sent an email to the ceo of the company and the guy in charge of the pages like hey man you

guys sent my paycheck and they came back oh yeah we seem to have forgotten your paycheck we're

gonna send it now they didn't even call me to explain that they just sent me back an email oh

my bad so then that's how they let me know they're gonna lay me off by email so i went off with my

boss this morning i got pretty bad i got pretty pissed off got pretty worked up about it and uh

then i went up to the fourth floor set up my chair and i spent most of the day on uh facebook

book talking with tuck and working on the website and uh and uh looking for jobs already and looking

and and getting my paperwork ready to fall for unemployment i'm not stressing it man i'm good i

got i got a pretty good amount of money saved in the bank right now as it is so i'm good i think

what what i'm hoping will happen is i'll be on unemployment for a while i'm going to take that

nice vacation that was supposed to take but they they forced me not to take a vacation because

Because it's supposedly a busy season.

Which it hasn't been.

I'm going to take that vacation with Big Andy.

Instead, I'm going to go hang out with Milkman for a week.

I might take a trip by myself over to somewhere else.

Maybe I'll go to Canada or New York City.

Maybe I'll go to Puerto Rico for a week or something like that.

That would be nice too.

I'm just going to get away.

Get away from shit.

But I do have stories to tell.

As soon as I get...

I hope, hopefully...

Man, do I got some stories to tell about the place I work with.

Not the people that I work with.

but i don't want to say too much i just say a lot of corruption a lot of interesting information

that i'm privy to in my position probably a lot of it i've signed a contract that i'm not supposed

to discuss i'll see if i can talk about some of it on the air shocking more shocking than donald

trump said uh and uh big bombshell about old president obama oh my god wasn't that a bombshell

everybody was waiting for milkman to be on so i could talk to him about that you get a kick out

of that uh i'll be something let me see if i get milkman on the cell phone here hello is your

your shit working now asshole yeah well you're coming you're coming in and out right now i think

it might be better can i call you on your direct number at least i was able to reach you on there

but i just called you on it before i'm gonna call you back on the skype line okay half of it is him

half of the problem is him god damn it he calls he calls me every day he's like yeah i want to get

a new phone like cool what do you want i want that s3 but it's i don't know and i said well there's

you know there's a new galaxy note 2 is coming 90 day now really yeah oh wow so what's so good

about it and i told them some stuff it's like i was like so is there any review side or anything

i said a matter of fact on the twit network they just had an episode of before you buy one of their

shows where they review products before they come out i told them that newest episode of before you

buy the review the galaxy note 2 they gave the high ratings and they did a pretty thorough review

of it leo laporte did a thorough review of it pretty convincing it's got a quad core processor

it's more powerful than my phone lte nice screen comes a little stylus and all this stuff

how can i watch that i gave him the website he gets there and it's just blue he's a blue page

okay it's not coming up why isn't it coming up i don't know why it's not coming up milkman

check your shit i don't know why you can't surf the internet i'm gonna get doing some

prank calls soon because i'm just fucking gonna end the show i'm gonna go play video games

and pet my cat yeah hey what's going on you're right now i have no idea man what what number

are you calling on now i'm calling your direct cell phone number oh okay so i guess the other

number's not working across the board yeah i think it's because you're running in interference

on one and the other probably best to eliminate the middleman for now how's that sound does that

work i guess so dude because the other one's not working i've tried everything here man and this

This one here just started working again.

I don't know what's going on.

I think there's some network issues over here.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

You know what?

Just to surprise any of you people out there waiting for LTE,

if you're anywhere near San Francisco, it's already come on.

I saw it on today earlier.

And it's been coming on in Berkeley and some other ones.

We've already got 4G LTE when they said it wouldn't be until November of next year.

We're already starting to get it right now.

I don't think it's going on because that didn't light up earlier on the way back it lit up.

So I think they're turning shit on.

So I think some of the networks just ain't working right.

Yeah, well, the thing is in San Francisco, you guys get this shit pretty quick

when it comes to new rollouts of cell phone technology and new data speeds.

Yeah, we got WiMAX over there, too.

Yeah, I know.

Well, people are probably testing it out right now.

They're probably like, oh, shit, LTE's working, and they're maxing it out right now

to see what the fuck it does.

That's it.

They're probably killing the network.

I'm not on it here.

But I noticed that all of a sudden I just started acting funny,

like I was having a hard time calling you, like, on the way home.

Like, I couldn't even call you for a few times I tried calling.

Plus, if there's a direct number I can call in on, then I can do it.

But it's just I can call in.

It's just like coming in to me, I'm not getting any good calls sometimes.

Sometimes I'm not going out as well.

Well, you sound good now.

All right.

There you go.

Thank you.

All right, good, good.

Well, anyway, let's go.

Let's just do some prank calls and stuff.

I'm sorry.

Did I miss anything?

No.

No, me, bitch, and what I told you before the show started.

We were talking about the whole job thing and how pissed off I am,

and that's some bullshit.

Oh, hell, man.

I'll tell you what, man.

We need to call some gondos up tonight.

Yeah.

See if we can help them up.

I really do, man.

I think that's a necessity tonight.

Even some boncho, you know, boncho a la carte would be even better.

I know.

I think we will.

All right, here, we'll start off with a layaway customer.

Maybe that's what you're about, because I tried to call Charlie, and I couldn't get through to him.

Hey, Ryan Brown.

Jeff sent me some numbers earlier, too, but I got crushed.

So I'm going to see if I can come back on the network, too.

I could not get in earlier, so I'm going to try again, rejoin.

Yeah, Ryan Brown, you're on Skype.

Listen, man, I said already, I don't take Skype calls until the last hour of the show.

Why don't you listen?

What's your problem, Ryan Brown?

I'm sure you're a nice man.

You're a good fan of the show, but I'm not taking calls right now until the last hour.

We got about, you know, another hour and a half or so until I'll take your call.

So don't keep calling and calling.

Don't call again and again.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah, you just, all you do is slow it down, you know, because then we won't be able to call out.

Yeah, later on.

Chill out.

Don't go up the line.

Yeah, give yourself 90 minutes, listen to me, and then, you know, then call in and be fine.

Hello?

This is Dorothy.

Where's Dorothy at?

Who's this?

This is Cross.

I'm calling from the store where she left a layaway at.

Hold on.

Hurry up.

She said she never left a layaway anywhere.

yes she did yeah hold on hello yeah listen what's going on here that you see you knew that i was

calling from you know you're in big trouble of course i am yeah so what's going on with this

twin comforter the disney tango twin comforter well i ordered it to be shipped here yeah well

you're not getting it why because we got um bad reviews from you on the website and we're not

going to ship to bad customers like you no this is cross cross gotta be a gag no no you went to

the site and you ordered a disney tango twin comforter yeah we're not delivering that because

you went ahead and then you started looking around and other things on the website and

leaving nasty reviews and talking shit about the store and the company forget it i don't know who

this is but oh shit you see that's the exact type of attitude and nastiness when you white trash

people that want to think that you can make business with a company like you're what's wrong

with america you're not getting a stupid comforter who you are but i know you're not

Because I've never written a bad review.

I'm with quality control with ordering computer machines.

I don't believe you.

Well, you're a bad quality customer.

And consider yourself banned from the website also.

Don't ever try to make an order on here again.

I know you've been on this site before.

I see your track history from your IP address on your computer.

You're not welcome.

You've got this information, but you're not.

When you order information on the computer,

it comes through to the main computer mainframe center here

where we ship the things out and we have the server computers.

Well, I can tell you right now, whoever you are, I never write reviews when I order anything,

even when I have bad service, so I know you're full of crap.

Well, is there someone else there, like your stupid husband that was just talking to me

that wrote nasty things?

Okay.

I'll turn him back.

Hey, get my Gort, bro.

Gort?

Okay.

Yeah.

What Gort?

My Gort.

Hello?

Yeah, put your husband on if he's the stupid idiot that made the bad comments.

On the computer.

Well, he gets on the computer.

He did.

he then someone did there who has a computer there who made the computer make the bad things

on the computer site who did it god damn it never has placed an order on a computer in his life i

can tell you that right now so then you did it then you put these back i have you said that well

you are but you are not a representative you said that looks like shit that it smells like a shit

in there that it's a shit store you said that shit people go there and shit people work there

Honey, you got the wrong person, because I have never put a review, ever.

You know what?

Maybe someone will take a shit in your comforter, in the bag, before you get it.

I am putter.

Well, when you get it, there might be a big shit inside the comforter, in the bag that comes with the comforter.

I don't know who you are, but I'm calling immediately.

And what?

I'm the supervisor with the computer machines.

I work in the corporate headquarters.

What are they going to do?

Gone do.

Gone do, damn it.

The employees at Cameron have like half a brain cell between all of them.

Oh, my God.

You ever go there?

That store is so lost.

Hey, where are you at?

I don't see you in Gort, man.

Log into my Gort.

What do you mean you're Gort?

Where?

I am.

You know, the same one we had before.

The same one.

Oh, man.

Can you send me an invite?

Because I don't remember what it is.

I don't remember.

Oh, okay.

Or send me the name of it in the IM.

Oh, all right.

Yeah.

Damn it.

Let's try it.

You can invite, right?

Gort invite?

invite yes i'm doing that right now sir hurry up i did it before but you must have ignored it

oh shit your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system

all right we got we got someone here with a mahogany five-piece dining set when brad called

he got a voicemail originally we'll try it again see if this time i get through to someone damn it

send those requests to pranks though right lonesome cereal so hello lonesome

Milkman, how come these people are able to answer the phone and all that, Milkman?

You can't.

I said, did you get the invite?

I'm looking.

I don't see one.

What's 10-4?

You're under Carlito?

Yeah.

I said, invite Carlito.

Well, yes, hi.

Is this Sherry?

No, it's not Sherry.

Is Sherry there?

No, there is no Sherry here.

Did you put something on layaway, stupid?

On what?

On stupid layaway at the store, mahogany, five-piece dining set?

Wait a minute.

I'm going to put it back on the shelf.

Do you want a five-piece dining set?

Are you Russian or something?

What are you?

Oh, okay.

You're stupid.

You're stupid, okay?

Well, she was polite, huh, Milkman?

I p.m.'d it to you.

Did you get that?

That's what I told you from the beginning, Milkman, to PM it to me, right?

Let me see.

I don't have anything in PM from you, man.

Calm down.

Who are you PMing?

Where are you PMing this?

I don't know.

I gave up, man.

This is some fucking bullshit.

Hang on, hang on.

Look, are you getting this from me?

Never mind.

I'm PMing you now.

I'm getting done with it.

There you go.

Oh, there we go.

I got you now.

Jeez.

I don't know what you are doing, dude.

I didn't know if you could hear me good.

Finally, Milkman.

That's what I've been trying to send you there.

I don't know what the fuck.

Oh, shit.

Who would you be getting?

That would be my buffer.

You're getting buffer shit.

That's a confirmed number, too.

Okay.

I'm putting in my channel here, okay?

Good God.

All right, man.

Look at the last message of the channel.

You have to join it.

Okay.

Thank you.

One hell of a show we're having tonight.

All right, here we go.

Don't pay attention to my eyes.

I've got a doctor.

Is this Jamie?

Yeah.

Hi.

I got you down here for a layaway for a shark furry friend.

No, that wasn't layaway.

That was an online purchase.

Okay.

All right.

Well, we're putting it on layaway now, and you're going to have to make three more payments on it.

You're kidding, right?

No.

No, you have to make several more payments on it because we have a record of a poor review from your computer in the past on a previous item, and you said some nasty things.

What are you talking about?

I've got a whole printout here of some nasty things that came from your computer machine.

I'm calling from the corporate office.

You are literally out of your mind right now.

I'm writing this down.

On my full report here, the problem that we're having with this customer.

I'm going to print this out.

All right, so your local is going to receive the items,

but you're going to have to make three more payments.

payments and then what will happen is you receive the third payment back as a deposit

after 30 days after you made the purchase and if you promise to review remove the negative review

that you left on the website and apologize uh to the store in person you can go fuck yourself

you see what i mean you nasty little bitch i'm putting that on my computer right here

she said f-u-c-k-u

you right now i'm

that here.

It's three payments of $20 unless you're too cheap to make it.

You're white trash and you're cheap.

This is Cross with Quality Assurance website online purchasing machine.

Let me talk to your manager.

I am the manager right now on duty.

No joke, right?

No, no.

I can cancel the order here if you'd like,

but the $20 is still going to remain off of your card

as a purchase deposit for a nuisance customer.

Return that item.

I thought you said you purchased it and you were waiting to get it from the order.

You were ordering it.

No, I ordered it.

I picked it up at the store that day in Marysville,

and then I returned it the very next day.

Yeah, you still need to make payments on this

because you made nasty comments and nasty review on the computer.

It doesn't matter what I say on your website.

I can say whatever I want.

Don't ask for my review.

And I didn't even leave for review.

What are you talking about?

If you clearly look at the bottom of the page,

the rules and the terms of agreement for the comment system,

you're not to make negative comments, racial slurs,

or negative comments about our employees or their family.

Well, the computer machine here clearly states

It's that you made nasty, negative, racist comments about the company.

Well, that's incorrect.

It says here that you said that it was a shit, that it looks like shit,

that it smells like shit, and the people there are shit.

And then you just said F-U-C-K to me.

Whoa.

It's all in the report.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Fuck you.

Okay.

All right.

Is that what you want for me to do to you is to fuck?

Is that what you need?

Why don't you tell me who you really are?

This is Cross with Customer Reparations.

we repair the issues with customers like if any of the customers are upset we try to repair the

issues and make you know make sure that they're happy by calling me and telling me that something

i ordered and returned is now being charged to my card yeah twenty dollars of it is not going

to be recoverable and you have to make three payments of twenty dollars and then you'll get

the majority of that back i sure do not you sure do you should you should do honey is there a man

there that maybe handles the finances that i can talk to hello sweetie hello lady tiger tiger girl

no she's gone she got a little upset there she was getting handled there my brother

that's how you gotta deal with them sometimes so uh brad what's going these aren't all layaway

customers rather than me let me i should have read the fucking manual i guess here all right

now you're in the channel can you okay can you see me i i nope nope take this number here for

this confirmed call

earlier. Let's see.

I put him in here.

Look at the channel

now. I'm sending it out here in our channel.

The boy's channel. There you go.

Called

Bertha's Soul Food. Okay, Bertha's Soul

Food? Yes, sir.

Okay. This is confirmed.

In L.A.? Yes, sir.

Brad was trying to get customers for

Enzyte, the male enhancement natural

pill, and they cursed him out

when he tried to get it.

He's really trying to get numbers from them.

Oh, man.

All right.

Fine, we'll call Big Bertha.

Thank you for calling Bite the Soul Food.

How can I help you?

Yeah, listen, when you make the soul food, do you people really put, like, soul in it?

Like what?

You know, like, do you put love?

Hello?

Yeah, do you guys cook with love?

Yes.

All right, tender love?

Yes.

That's good.

Very tender.

Very tender love.

That's nice.

All right, and what kind of spices do you use?

Huh?

My friend Lysol, he hangs out with me down at the soup kitchen.

He said that I could call and ask for special herbs on the food.

Don't do it.

Hello?

Uh-huh.

He said that there's a code that you call in.

He said that, yeah, you know, you ask for special herbs, right?

Like what do you mean special?

That's what he said.

You know Lysol?

No.

He hangs out at the soup kitchen.

he said that you can call in and just say that you've got that i want special herbs on the food

and that you guys deliver no how much for like a nick or what a nick what is that you know like

a nick bag you know just like in the special herbs that come with the food i don't know hold

on one second okay all right hold on one second hang up that's something black people do let's

say hold on a second really nice and they hang up the phone i've had a few i've had a few negroes

do that before um we got brad says they're all supposed to be layaway numbers i don't know why

they're not i was talking to layaway department and she said they were layaways well she's stupid

brad carter guests just go with the rest of them being online orders now i'm gonna do that i'm

gonna flip a bitch and you know what's gonna happen right they're all gonna be uh layaways

i'm gonna be so mad not at you brad it's not your fault it's not your fault brad not your fault brad

you're doing the right thing you're trying hard to help us out anyway brad wants to talk more

More about the Kenny Loggins CD.

That's awesome.

Hey, did I get to ask you a question earlier?

Too many questions.

Why?

What was up?

What did you ask?

I'm going to yell at Ryan Brown.

He's calling again.

I said none until the last hour of the show.

Block his number.

We're going to block your number.

Whoever keeps his third.

How about your number blocked?

Damn it.

Temporarily or permanently.

Whichever is required.

But just wait.

Please.

Damn it, Ryan Brown.

Stop it, man.

Come on.

fuck anyway hey yeah anyway we we had some we had some help this week uh with i guess uh

the archive needed notes of wisdom so gotta give it a shout out um armada to polaris and sporty

board for all the help i guess they've done many many hours uh helping with the ancient golden

archives there with the bocce man oh thank you hey thank you for reminding me let's go

Letters of Recognition.

Let's go, yes, thank you, gentlemen, and Tabachi for editing them out.

And also for Enigma, he got the rest of the prank archives up.

And I wanted to mention, I didn't know Milkman.

The last three months of 2005, they never got edited.

I have them all.

I was like, how come they didn't make it into the prank?

Because you told me they were missing once.

I asked you, and you said, oh, man, I think they got missing.

I know that they weren't edited at one time, I remember that,

but then they somehow got missing.

Where did you find them?

Oh, I found them all unedited here on one of my old external hard drives.

That's why.

They were not edited, so they were left on the wall,

and it shall drive your corridor, too.

I got you.

I think it's like October, November, December.

November and December of 2005.

Yeah.

Anyway.

So let me look here.

There's a prank here from 2005 called Miss Crap.

I have no idea what this is.

Oh, fuck.

Hello, is this Master Hacker Ledger Calla Calla?

Is this Master Calla Hedger Calla?

No, you've got the wrong number.

Is this Ms. Crap?

No.

Who is this?

Who you want?

I'm looking for Ms. Crap.

You look for who?

Look, I lost something.

I lost my cell phone, and I'm trying to see.

I've got to call my son.

Hello?

Well, you've got the wrong number.

This is not Ms. Crap?

No, he's not.

that? I'm looking for Mike the

Halicajica. What?

You got the wrong number.

What the fuck was

that?

Why am I calling a lady

mischievous? I love your old voices

though, man. You still have your original voices

back in those days.

The raw voices are still funny,

man. I love hearing those, man. You did that.

There is a lot

of crazy fucker that

came up. A lot of crazy

fucker rants. Oh, right.

Yeah, there's a lot of dark guys there.

All right.

You know what we have to do is commission a soundboard, man.

Somehow get a little soundboard.

Let's get this shit out.

That's what they call it.

Red in the background.

One that I'm excited about listening to, if you remember that cat that used to run our original chat room for PCU,

Madman, remember him?

Oh, that guy.

Yeah, Madman.

He started working for some telemarketing company,

company and they were they were exclusively calling old people on social security and he

he lifted a bunch of numbers and he's sending me one night and i remember there was i can't i don't

remember i think it was 2007 or 2008 and all i know is like this old like 70 year old black lady

she's like hello and like hey what's up he's like who this i'm like this is meh she goes this is meh

like that's all she said and to me it was hilarious because i was gonna say like this

is mike or this is ed or something and i like messed it up halfway through i just went this

is meh like that she's like this is meh and i started cracking up as she hung up i'm pretty

sure that's how it went i never edited that out but uh i'd like to hear that i think that's a

2008 prank call this is meh so uh hopefully we get to that so right now and i think tabachi's

He's completely done with 2005, 2006, and he's through January of 2007.

So we're marching solely to getting a full, complete archive of every prank call

that's worth a shit that we've ever done at Man House Live.

I think we're up to over 1,000 easily.

I think we're at up to 1,500 pranks.

Well, we're getting something now, man.

You know, we got some pretty good help out there.

Qualified Tabachi man has been taking this one, man.

on it. Thank you so much. We've got

some helpful dudes. Really, really,

really, really appreciate it. There's a lot

of transitional

stuff every year. How we

started to how we got to the

Insanity Insane guy. We got to hear

the nutrition there. They're starting early on.

You'll hear it. I can't wait to hear the rest of it.

Here's something you know what

I'm excited about. Sam the Donut Man calls.

Here's one. Sam the Donut Man has

Valente's debit card.

Let's hear that.

Hey, brother. How you doing?

Hey man, I was wondering if you have my debit card still.

I called in and you have found it one time.

Do you remember that, man?

Debit card?

My debit card machine thing.

What's your name?

My name is Valente.

Yeah, I think I dropped it with the, you know, it's in the office.

In the office?

Yeah, you can come tomorrow in the morning.

Oh, you're going to be there?

No, the owner is going to be here.

What is the owner's name?

Tits.

Tits?

Yes.

T-I-T-S?

T-E-D.

T-T-T-T-T-T.

Yes, sir.

Okay, hang on.

But is this the right number?

I mean, how do I get to the office?

I wanted to talk to him in the office, you know?

I'm sorry?

I wanted to talk to him in the office.

Yeah, but he's going to be here tomorrow in the morning early.

Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.

Excuse me?

Yes.

Excuse me, sir?

I'm sorry?

Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.

Say what?

That wasn't too funny.

A soundboard popped out.

That's awesome, man.

I can't believe it was, that was 2001, what was that now?

I didn't know we were calling him that late, 2007.

I thought he was gone by then.

I didn't realize that.

I thought it was further back.

Okay, 2007, that's right.

I don't think that was, was that him?

Yeah, I think that was the ends of him right there.

Yeah, that was around the end, because at that point,

at some point his family sold the donut shop,

the Dunkin' Donuts to an African-American family.

Yeah, because we had Clown Holmgren, I think, back then.

And after he fell off, Sam hung on for a while.

And then I think after that, he just kind of like disappeared.

But we talked to him once or twice, and then that was it.

Right.

Crazy fuckers reefer madness.

What's this?

And we'll get to more lie pranks.

This is fun.

I like doing it.

I'm going to do this.

Hello?

Yeah.

Hey, man.

You have a great show, man.

And PCR, man, is really good.

Really good.

Good, and what happened to that Rev guy?

Why has he been on lately?

He got fired by Lego.

He did?

Yeah, Lego and him got into an argument, and Rev's out.

Rev got kicked out.

He got eliminated.

Lego's firing everybody.

Yeah, well, he had a really, really radical show, man.

Oh, shit, it was Will.

You heard of Will?

I heard of Will.

Oh, man.

Oh, that's Will.

That was Will?

Yeah, it's Will.

Oh, yeah, big Will, man.

Big Will, man.

Actually, I got an email.

Big Will.

I got an email.

You know, Will registered for the forums, and he was sharing some of the YouTube pranks from the Madhouse channel on Facebook.

So, Will, if you're listening, what's up, man?

Hey, man, I miss you guys over there in Orlando.

We're going to have to hang out soon.

I still see him on G-Talk, but he never, ever says anything or anything.

I say what's up.

I still got him on there, man.

Every once in a while, I'll say what's up to him, you know, talk to him, you know, a few, a little bit.

But, yeah, I'm busy.

I thought it was funny, man.

He'd come back to the chat or something.

This guy, he was a trip, man.

I liked him.

Yeah, he's a cool dude.

Dude, he's one of my favorite dudes in Orlando.

My friends from back there.

Yeah, he was cool.

I liked it, bro.

This is a little more, and then we'll get to more pranks.

Yeah, he made that guy eat shit on the phone.

Well, I don't know if the guy did or not, but, boy, he sure pissed off a lot of people.

And that's fun to do.

That's what I was trying to do last week.

I was trying to see if you guys would do it, but you didn't do it.

You're so fucking cool.

It's not a harmonica.

It's like I say, man, PCR.

I tell people, listen, man,

if I say it's the last fucking stand of free speech

in the United States of America, man,

where fucking it's just there, man.

It's like First Amendment.

I'll tell you what, man.

Hey, man, you guys be careful

because you don't want to be fucking up

going to courts and shit

because I'll tell you why, man.

You do a leaf little fucking thing now.

Yeah, they're trying to bring laws in where they can like keep you from ever legally owning a firearm.

Like a keychain.

A harmonica.

Yeah, well, basically.

He's begging them to play the harmonica.

Remember, he played an accordion and a harmonica and shit.

Yeah, he went crazy with that harmonica, dude.

He's like, fuck the USA and Bush 2.

And this all this fucking shit.

He goes crazy.

Wham, wham, wham.

You still got that?

I don't know.

He said it's a squeeze box.

He's in the chat room right now.

Crazy fucker, man.

Come on.

Call us sometime.

That's not him, dude.

I know that's not him.

That can't be, man.

Yeah, that's him.

Sure it is, man.

Sure it is.

I know it's him.

That's a crazy fucker.

If not, it's fun to pretend it's him, all right?

For God's sake.

Okay, it's crazy fucker.

It is, man.

By God, as KDK would say.

By God.

All right.

Let's look at some more requested pranks here,

and then we're going to get to some more Brad pranks

and we've got some more people looking to sell stuff here.

We've got someone looking to buy seasoned firewood.

The rap one's good, too.

Something about he was sitting on a toilet and sticking shit and looked like he knew.

Oh, the rap song, yeah.

Yeah, with the He Shit a Rembrandt.

Yeah, I remember that.

Yeah, that's what it was.

You got that one, don't you?

I got that, yeah.

That would be a good one to play.

Yeah, yeah.

We'll get to that.

Hey, I got Jack.

Someone sent in a number for Jack who's looking to buy seasoned firewood.

Seasoned firewood must be full-size truck.

What?

Must be full-size truck, please.

Must be full-size truck.

Looking to buy seasoned firewood must be full-size truck, please.

I don't get the last part.

Milkman, is that a firewood term?

Is a truck like a unit?

I don't know.

I didn't catch it.

Looking to buy seasoned firewood, period.

Next sentence, must be full-size truck, please.

Oh, okay, because people will sell it by the truckload,

but if they show up with one of these little, you know,

there's like, what was this, the small ones, the small Chevy trucks,

you know, they have a little tiny bed, SR3s, whatever the fuck they were,

you know, they have it like they're a small truck.

Oh, so they want a full-size, regular, long truck, you know, at least,

because they want the most amount of wood they can get for their money.

because one of the little trucks may hold maybe 25% or more or less.

Okay.

The call has been forwarded to all the department truckloads.

Oh, he's going to his voicemail.

That sucks.

Normally, the truckload is even all the way up to normally,

which, I mean, some people will give you a fat truckload, you know,

which a little more, but, you know, it's always normally considered up to.

We got someone looking for old Bell South phones in good working order.

Can be any color if you have one that is odd.

Oh, man, go on to e-mail.

Hey, seen them the other day, man.

I was looking at the whole shitload of stuff, man.

They got some fucking old phones on there.

Yeah, the phone losers might be into this.

Brad, you might be into this.

One that's all like the princes or the box phone or ones that hang on the wall.

Why would you want that?

Okay, let's call Teresa who wants a phone machine.

All right, good.

Because they're dependable.

They'll fucking hang here for another 50 years without needing work on them.

Yeah, they're hardened for nuclear wars.

Molsa, you know?

Well, they've been around, what, their design was started in the 40s, and they didn't quit

making them until 75.

Hello?

I thought I heard an answer.

No.

Hello, is this Big Teresa?

No.

Oh, you were looking for old Bell South foam machines?

Hello?

She hung up already?

Stupid bitch.

I'll call back if she won't pick up?

Man, watch.

It's been forwarded.

Wow.

Because I called her big.

Sensitive, is she?

Huh.

Too bad.

You are big.

That's why you got upset about it.

A girl who isn't big wouldn't be upset about it.

i guess the guy claims that he'll he'll call in this week yeah he wants a phone number i'll call

him from a phone with i i'm really crazy fucker we'll call in but he says here in the chat dude

he says uh what's the number i'll call him from a phone booth what was their number okay um yeah

uh milkman we at some point are going i would like to get our 800 number back i think that

That would be fine again.

Because now even the non-Skype people can get back in occasionally.

No, but I'll give you a number.

Well, I'll give him a number now.

I got a number here.

I don't think he'll be able to talk to you, but at least I can talk to him and put him on the air, Milkman.

That's okay, dude.

I could always just talk to you later or in the background if you hear me.

Well, that's how we used to do it back in the day.

Remember, they wouldn't really hear you, but yeah.

Exactly.

They never could hear me, which was always a good thing.

Well, does Crazy Fucker know how to look at the private messages?

Does he know how to get to that in the chat room?

I don't know.

No, just put it in the open chat and see if he'll respond to you.

No, if I put it in the open chat, I don't know, man.

I don't know this guy, if it's really him or not.

He's a crazy fucker.

He's getting drunk.

So if he's not looking at the main chat and doesn't answer you,

then I doubt he's going to go to PM.

No, if I put it in the open chat, there's this idiot phone winners guy out there.

No, no, don't give me the number.

Listen.

God damn it.

See if he's even responding.

Every time I post a phone number to call into the show,

there's one guy who hates brad carter who who thinks it's fucking hilarious to call in

and say cactus cactus cactus cactus cactus like it's all that restarted back he's no if i swear

to i could put the phone number out right now and i can change it for like it cost me uh like 99

cents to change it and i can i can block him really easy but he thinks it's hilarious to call

it non-stop and say cactus cactus cactus despite the fact that he hates brad carter and then he

then he'll go to um fucking what's that site he'll go to craigslist and and make like 50

fucking ads at once so people keep calling uh looking for shit and it's funny for like uh

you know like for 30 minutes but then when all you're getting is people calling in for the

fucking item on craigslist and all i do all i do is turn it off all i do is turn off the line and

and then no one can call in that's if you ever wonder why there's no phone number to call in

is because there's one stupid idiot out there who thinks it's fucking hilarious to call the line

and say Cactus, Cactus, Cactus

and then take it upon himself to create

tons of Craigslist ads on it.

They just say ruins it fun for everybody else.

That's what we haven't had.

We haven't had a call-in number

like in four years on this show

because there's one fucking return.

That's why you stopped.

I always wondered why.

I know we've had many issues about it

and the prices in it

at different points in time,

but I didn't realize that that's what,

because I forgot.

That's right.

We still had the line

when the media first started calling

and doing that shit.

I remember that one guy.

He always comes into chat all the time too

Well the last time he did

He called in trying to be

He tried to be like the guy we were pranking

I forgot what it was

We called him back

And he's playing along

He set himself up to answer it

And Artie was talking to him

And I recognized his voice like instantly

And I asked him

I stopped Artie to wait

And I said hey man what do you keep calling

And he goes Cactus Cactus Cactus

this cactus cactus you faggot faggot faggot like oh wow look at us holy shit you're fucking cool

i think it's the same guy that was going after brad making a like an anti-pla website and was

it was offering money to people to throw piss on brad at uh at defcon two years ago i wish i wish

i was at defcon as someone would throw some piss at brad because you know what if i was like the

The pro-gay or aspiring-to-be-gay crowd.

If I hadn't been sick last year, I would have gone to DEF CON with Brad and the guys.

I would have been there hanging out because they all had a good time.

And I really was just about to buy tickets, and then I got sick.

But I swear to God, if some motherfucker threw a bag of piss at Brad Carter while I was there,

I would fucking beat the living shit out of him.

I would kick the fucking shit out of someone who did anything to Brad Carter.

Or any of the phone losers, the tight phone loser clique, if we were all hanging out like that.

I would take it upon myself to beat the shit out of them with the closest hard fucking object I could find.

I would break that motherfucker's teeth in front of everyone.

I'd go to jail for it.

I'd be happy.

Go down.

Yeah.

I'm not kidding you, man.

Anybody do anything to Brad Carter, he'll beat the fuck out of them.

Well, what do you do on style, my son?

The video feed doesn't work.

Oh, I never hit start broadcast.

The fuck?

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

That helps.

There was something going on with your videos.

It's been fixed.

I forgot to remind you.

I forgot to start the broadcast.

Whoops.

There you go.

Video's working now.

Derp.

All right.

Hi, YouTubers.

We're finally on.

Hi.

Welcome to Madhouse Radio.

You're joining us in progress.

Whoops.

No answer there.

Milkman, I know I mentioned to you I went to the Halloween store.

Oh, shit.

Milkman, Halloween.

That's your birthday, man.

I almost forgot.

Hey, man.

Huh?

Your birthday's on Halloween.

Happy birthday, man.

It's coming up.

What did you do for Halloween, man?

Are you going to have a birthday before the next show?

No, you're not.

you're gonna yeah so happy birthday

it's not my birthday

we all know it's your birthday

freak old man

98 years old

anyway I was saying

I was saying

I went to the Halloween store

to the milkman birthday store

and I bought a new captain's hat

back there if you see it

on the video and then I got a new general hat

also which

got this general's

cap right here

I'm going to search for an Admiral's hat now.

That's my new mission, man.

I have to find the Admiral's hat because that's actually the one that represents you the best, I think.

Yep, yep.

Well, sorry, Milkman, you're supposed to be paying attention when people are saying these things,

that they're not working.

What did I miss?

Somebody in the chat because I'm not looking at it every second here.

The video wasn't working.

I'm sorry.

Hey, real quick, I'm calling Lonesome Loser numbers.

We're calling some Indian restaurants that our good friend Lonesome sent in.

This is awesome.

Nunu sent a number.

Okay, man.

All right, Nunu.

I don't see it.

Real quick, I'd like to say fuck you to Andy for beating me in fantasy football last week by one point,

and fuck you to Nate Burleson for breaking your own leg like a stupid fucking idiot, like a stupid horse.

Hey, that guy was going to win sometimes, too.

Fucking asshole.

He's tied for second place.

It's not fair.

I went out on a limb to make sure Andy got in the league, man.

I'm glad that

Yeah

You know what the name

Of his team is

After last year

You know what the name

Of his team is

He wins after last year

You know the name

Of his team is

Blinded by diabetes

Can you believe that

Hi

We have reached

India Palace restaurant

We open daily

Fuck you

You know he

You know he named

His team blinded by diabetes

You know he did that

My best friend

The best man in my wedding

Supposed to have my back

Yeah

Blinded by diabetes

Is the name of his

Fantasy football league

His fantasy football team

Well it used to be

Cuban sugar eggs

or some shit.

You can be doing

Puerto Rican sugar eggs

is what you used to do.

Puerto Rican sugar eggs.

Yeah,

that's what we always say

at shit.

Yeah,

that has sugar eggs,

you know.

Puerto Rican sugar eggs.

Yeah,

so I'd like to make an order

for stupid people food.

I'm sorry?

I'd like to make an order,

please,

for takeout.

Uh,

for what time, sir?

Well,

how soon can it be ready,

damn it?

Oh,

we are closed right now.

Why?

I'm sorry?

When do you open again?

We open at 11 tomorrow.

And what time do you

usually close shit?

He closed at 10 o'clock, and the last call at 9.30.

Well, I still got some time.

I'm sorry?

I still got some time.

What, do you got anything you're going to throw out?

Come on.

Whatever.

I'm going to call him back and give him shit.

What a weenie.

He

hung right up

anyway instead of that we got we got the yak and yeti an indian restaurant where an indian guy

answered yay let's call all right god dude we need to talk to them about employment their

employment i know what i'm in the mood for a hot dog yeah hi yeah well let me make an order for

takeout or you got some stupid rule that you're closed now uh yeah we close now why do you close

damn it uh sir we close now when do you why do you close so early you lazy hey gandu hello

i did wait over a half hour to call those lonesome i'm sorry that's not your fault lonesome

they were open when you first sent those and you and you do a good job we got a bombay clay oven

but it was a goofy white guy that answered let's try to call maybe there's an indian that works

there. But usually when, for some reason

We eat the private milk by Santa Indian Restaurant

Is that the one? I didn't get the private

I got killed. Did you get that?

Your face is private, Milkman

Uh, yes, I do

I didn't get it, that's why

Bombay Clay Oven. You know what I've noticed

is when white people work at Indian restaurants

they're usually like hippie, like, you know, they're kind of

surfer dudes, for some reason. Have you ever noticed

that? Whenever we get a white guy that works at

Indian, they're like

like burnouts

Yeah, man.

Far out.

Listen to the Beatles and shit.

Dude, like, let's make some nachos with the Beatles and shit.

Like, for sure.

Hi, I'm Kevin Cherry Creek.

Yes, hi.

Is there an Indian man I can speak to, please?

No, sir.

Oh, what are you?

I am from Nepal.

Oh, you're Nepalese?

Uh-huh.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Hey, I used to have a girlfriend who was Nepalese.

Okay.

She was the princess of Nepal.

Okay.

Do you know who she is?

Is this something to do with the restaurant or food?

I wanted to make an order.

You choose my parts.

What did you say?

What did you say, Milkman?

I was trying to get to that.

I just spoke to him in Nepal.

What did you say, Nepal?

He didn't quite take a liking to that.

What did you say?

I was saying it because I know your ex-girlfriend is Nepalese,

so I figured I'd say that.

What did you call him, a banchute in Nepalese or something?

What did you say?

No, no, no, this is worse.

This is the only reason.

What would you share, for God's sake, so we know?

It's kind of something sexual.

Okay, fine, don't tell us.

That's hilarious.

If I started playing Spanish prank calls now, everyone would be like,

Oh, okay, well, you're right, Spanish prank.

All right, do you have something kind of like sexual about, you know, like your tits?

Sexual about your tits.

Great.

Okay, thanks.

Yeah, like drinking your, drinking your,

What?

Something along those lines.

It's stuck in your kids, and your kids all kind of in the same category.

Is that what you used to say to her?

Yeah, that's what I said.

Yes, hi.

Is this Indian food?

What is that?

Is this Indian food?

Yeah, we're Indian.

Can you understand Indian food?

You're not Nepalese, right?

Huh?

You're not from Nepal, or are you?

No, no.

Are you Brahmin?

What?

Are you Brahman?

Brahma?

I don't know.

I don't know what that is.

Oh, okay.

I'd like to make an order, then.

Okay.

What can I get for you?

First of all, is there a man I can talk to because the Indian woman makes me, you know, excited?

The Indian woman makes me excited sometimes.

Is there a man I can talk to because I might, you know, say nasty things to you?

Well, there's somebody here.

If you want to place an order, then you can tell me.

Oh, God.

Okay.

I would like one.

Do you have papadums?

Okay.

Is it for takeout?

For pickup.

Okay.

Papadum?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

And tandoori.

You have tandoori there?

Which one?

Chicken.

Chicken?

And then there's a full order or half order?

Half order.

How spicy?

Uh-huh.

Very spicy.

You want like an extra hot?

Yeah, yeah.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, yeah.

Extra?

Okay.

And do you have vegetable biryani?

Yes, sir.

Okay.

One of those.

How spicy?

Not too spicy, no.

Medium?

Yeah, medium.

Okay.

All right.

And then do you have like dark lips and stuff?

Like are you a pretty girl?

What?

Are you a pretty girl?

Why?

Because I warned you, I said that Indian girls make me excited

And I was warning you that I might talk

One second, I'd like to talk to somebody, wait

Oh, okay, baby

One second, I'd like to talk to somebody

Oh, wait a minute, do you have long hair?

One second

Is your hair long?

Hello?

Hey, does she have long hair?

Does she have long hair, the girl I'm talking to?

Who have long hair?

The girl I was talking to, does she have long hair?

No

No? Does her hair smell good?

What's that?

Does her hair smell good?

No, what do you want?

is she your sister no do you have sister no you have mother yeah bring your mother in front of me

okay yeah i'd like to make an order please yes order come on please come on do you like boys

hang up the phone enjoy your night are you gandu you you're gandu motherfucker did he say hang up

and enjoy my life or something else the fuck did she say nunu says and i agree that bird totally

holly fancies carlos yeah she totally was any herder she's probably over there right now i heard

her oh milkman milkman with those nepalese tits marijuana sending in a number for the target where

the effeminate manager holly has sagging tits the one you always call i want us to call and

effeminate morgan manager please carlito yes we has video all right yay marijuana yay new new

sent in a number to tell people that their layaway fell in the toilet and they can have six percent

sent discounts on it because of shit and piss damages hey i like that idea nunu i like it uh

we also got a number from a lady who likes romney and hates obama and doesn't like immigrants call

on behalf of obama campaign but do an ethnic voice and maybe thank her for supporting the democrats

later in the show phone on behalf of communist party usa asking for her vote here is her twitter

all right also call charlie and be from audi and you have to recall his audi q5 apparently charlie

we found out drives an audi q5 explain they have been various issues in relation to handling

cornering parking etc and various components need replacing just the blah blah blah new new

all right i don't know this is fucking english class asshole i'm not gonna do any of those

numbers because you type too much why don't you make it shorter right milkman keep it short and

concise. Now you get negative prank calls from Nunu tonight. Negative calls from Nunu. Learn

your lesson. I hope you learn your lesson now. No pranks from Nunu. I'm kidding. I'll do some

pranks. I tried to call Charlie at the beginning of the show, Nunu, when I said I was upset and

needed to talk to a friend and he went right to voicemail. Well, he rang a few times, went to

voicemail. Really quick, want to say happy birthday since we were talking about Tabachi

and talking about idiots who have birthdays. How about a happy birthday to Tabachi? Tabachi,

Tabachi, all right, our favorite bisexual on the show.

I am bisexual. I'm fabulous.

Who's celebrating 34 years tonight.

Happy birthday, Tabachi. We love you, man.

A true story, Tabachi was a premature birth.

He was born at six months and spent his first two months of life inside an incubator.

But he's alive now, thanks to the miracles of science and the Siemens Corporation.

Siemens, S-I-E-M-E-N-S, German company.

Milkman, are you there, asshole?

Or did you lose your LTE again?

Boy, Sprint sure is the best cell phone company ever.

I'm afraid to disconnect.

I got it on mute.

That's why.

I said, I was trying to talk to you earlier, dude.

Whenever I shut that phone down, all that crap, I went down there.

They looked at it, and nobody could get the SMS to work after almost two months.

And I shut the phone off, and all that network trouble and shit.

They turned on LTE over there.

They turned on LTE over here.

and now all of a sudden my SMS

just started working miraculously out of nowhere.

You just got 50,000 text messages.

Yay!

Yeah.

Well, anyway, thank God I got unlimited, so, you know.

LOL, OMG.

I'll tell you what.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Hey, I did like that Note 2 review, though, man.

I'm seriously thinking about liking what I'm seeing about that Note 2.

And if we get LTE around here, man,

I may end up going ahead and retiring to Evo G.

I don't know, man.

I might even add a line because I've still got outstanding credit from him.

If the LTE works, you know, the EVO works, then I'll keep it.

Did you finally get the video to work, Milk Me?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that was a good video, man.

The quad processor and everything.

A lot of commercials, but it was actually good information, man.

Here's what I recommend, Milkman, because I played around with it,

and it looks okay.

I could handle it.

I would say go to the store and just try it out, you know,

mess around with it.

It's big looking, man, which is not really it, but, you know, dude, I like to, if you're going to go this size, you get quad processing, you get a 3100, a 3-amp battery.

Yeah, that battery is big that comes with it, yep.

You get 64 slot, and you get 2 gigs of onboard RAM.

And Jelly Bean.

You get dual screen capability.

In other words, you can open two windows at a time.

Now, they were talking to each other side by side.

Oh, it's the first Android for the heavy metal thing.

For an extra three-quarters of an inch, approximately.

That's about what I got now, an extra three-quarters of an inch.

It's the first Android phone to have windowing in it.

Actually, the first smartphone to have windowing in it, yeah.

It's got Jelly Bean on it already, too.

And mine's going to have Jelly Bean here, like, next month, they told me.

Oh, here's something.

You know why?

Oh, yeah, you know what?

This evening, actually, Sprint started rolling out the Jelly Bean update for the Galaxy S3,

which is Samsung's most highest-selling phone in their history.

that might also be why you are

having slowness if the

LTE network got pushed out today for the

first time well it's coming through

the network you're right man because that

number yeah you're right it would be coming through

network that makes sense that's why everything else

is working but why my SMS

just come on I don't know I knew it was

on your end because it was like clockwork I mean

I was looking at the date you know it was identically

at a certain time I was like what the

fuck and it said nothing and then

here it is all of a sudden I don't know where it comes back on

awesome awesome well yeah go check out that no the only thing the size might i don't think the

size uh will do for oh milkman let me that real quick before we get more to prank more prank calls

we'll do a little bit more tech talk i'm really pissed off because i was watching that stupid

apple uh event uh this week and i'm thinking all right they're gonna you know release a new imac and

the new ipad mini we're cool i've got an ipad i got the third i got the third third generation

ipad i'm still ahead of the curve they came out you're not a fog plugger you're a mini pad i'm

ipad they came out and they said that um they uh released uh they they released a new ipad they

the the ipad that i just bought in july is now redundant it's now um obsolete they they took

seven months to go from the ipad 3 to the ipad 4 and the shit that i just bought a few months ago

goes now uh you know they don't even sell it anymore you can still buy the ipad 2 or you can

buy the new ipad the fourth one but you can't buy the third one that i bought so i bought i i got one

you know that has a slower processor it doesn't have the a6x in it and it has a less of a nice

resolution i'm really pissed off about it milkman wow man they burned you on a hardware to bring

out a new model man and they made you buy to boost a new model except for the original i've

I've got an iPod Classic.

Except for the iPod Classic, not counting that,

that's the first real Apple hardware device that I bought,

except for my old iPod, which I still use.

And they burn me.

And that just shows me why I made the deal with the fucking devil.

Well, that's just one thing, you know.

I mean, they have a lock on hardware.

You can only buy Apple hardware, period.

That's the one thing that YPCs still run the world, man.

Because they said, okay, you know what?

Well, if you've got a box that, you know,

that'll run your system, then run it, man.

Well, you know, we can give you some information

to help you develop stuff that'll work with this.

We're cool with that.

We're not going to charge you.

And that's why they still run the world.

That's why Apple's still in it and always will be.

I mean, yeah, they've got some good stuff,

but, you know, it's all because of their nichehood

and why a lot of their computer stuff is so...

with all of their viruses, blah, blah, blah.

East India Grill.

Hello?

East India Grill?

Hello?

Oh.

What do you do there, where I'm calling?

Do you sell shit?

Do what?

Do you have stupid food, stupid?

Yeah, just bring your ass in and I'll see if you are stuck me with food in your ass.

I sure will.

But I don't know who you are.

Hey, bring your sister here and I'll show you who I am.

You're a bastard, aren't you?

Bring your, come in front of me with your sister and I will show you who I am, who is the bastard.

I will bring the motherfucker, I'll bring anything with 38 also.

you're a stupid fucking goat

sucking suck the penis on a goat

you kiss the goat everywhere

on it's private

yeah and your mother

your mother fucked a donkey and you came out

bastard asshole

stupid

who the fuck was that

I don't know

I just felt like I went on a little tirade

there briefly

alright

I'm gonna save that number

I don't know who he is, but we'll have to work on that.

All I got to work with is a phone number.

Get to know him a little bit better here.

He wasn't an Indian food place, but he sounded Indian.

He had the right insults.

Son of a bitch.

I love Indian food.

I like healthy pop.

Indian bastards.

That was cool.

I guess Jin's busy practicing archery tonight.

Can't be with us.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I want to apologize.

We got off to the wrong start, okay?

Yeah?

So I'm going to punch you in the face, you stupid monkey.

Okay, come on.

Asshole.

Listen, are you from India?

No, motherfucker, I'm an Indian.

You're an American Indian, you son of a bitch.

Are you a Bhenchod?

No, I'm just a...

Bring your mother out, I'll show her what are you going to do.

You're a gandu, and I'm going to fuck you in the ass and take advantage of you

and kiss you on your back while I fuck you in the ass.

Why don't you go back where you motherfucker come from?

You son of a bitch.

If you go back to where you come from, it would be with all the pigs inside the farm.

I am here.

I was born in Mississippi, motherfucker.

I was born in Mississippi.

Inside the farm with all the animals.

Yes, that's true.

All the animals that your mother had fucking with.

What kind of shit you have against me?

Who are you?

You're an asshole.

Did I fuck your mom or did I fuck your mom?

So what did I do to you?

I want you to make me a sandwich, asshole shithead.

Just a son of a bitch.

get the fuck up i don't even know who the shit you are did you just call me all the name for

nothing my name is eddie now you know what's your name why did you are what my name is eddie what's

your name why did you call me i call for food i'm hungry motherfucker i don't have it i'm not

east india grill oh i don't know even listen if you're my number if you're indian either you cook

You cook food, or you work on computers in the computer center.

So what do you do?

I am a PhD bastard on psychology.

You're a bastard? I know that.

I'm a bastard.

Uh-huh. From where? From India's stupid school?

That means nothing.

Motherfucker, I'm from Mississippi, you son of...

You got the wrong number.

Who did your mother fuck for you to get PhD, Gondu?

You just a fucked up motherfucker bastard,

and I'm going to call the police now.

So what? You're gay, that's why you're a bastard.

I like that guy.

He said he's a Dalit.

He's a Dalit.

I'm saving that guy.

I don't know what to call that guy.

He's definitely not the East India Grille.

That was a good number alone, so good work.

I don't know where you got that from.

That's a keeper.

Thank you.

That might be another one of those that we're just calling for months and months.

We need his name now.

Next time we're going to have to invest in him.

That's why I tried.

I was trying to be nice.

I was trying to be nice to him.

I said, my name's Eddie.

What's your name?

Yeah, we'll call him back maybe about 2030.

What the fuck called him?

Golden India.

Yes, Golden India.

Uh-huh.

You make the food golden there and you pee in it?

That's the Golden India restaurant.

Food we have North Indian.

Oh, I like to make an Indian food restaurant order.

You want to order?

Yeah.

Do you have papadums?

Yeah.

All right, put me down for five papadums.

Uh-huh.

All right.

And one chicken biryani.

Okay.

And one sexy little Indian girl with a nasty attitude.

Let me spit in her face.

when i have sex with her whatever whoa wait till i get extra rare please sorry that was a little

strong sorry about that oh she must have been a ballot too yeah the arm here sent me a website

that i can use uh that about 75 of the time will let you do a reverse trace on any phone number

let's go ahead and give that a try see if i can get that to work see if we can get that

that guy's name to come up here that'd be good uh nope so we got a lot of work to do here but

that's a start that's a start it probably would work better with like home phones or like call

centers maybe not mobile though i've gotten to work on mobile phones it's pretty cool oh nice

but he says a phd in psychology yeah hello become the fraud please leave your message for this is

what leave your message please he did say this is what did he say did he say this is what he didn't

say grill he says something else something food or something this is a call this is a call

all right let's let's get back to the request of pranks here

anyway do you have a rad one i think it's i don't know i think it's like a dumpling kind of

if i'm right what is a papadum i don't know or it's like a bread that's lawn a lawn is the bread

but let's look at Pompadour.

Yeah, that one I don't know.

I've never had that one.

If it's what I think it is, you say like a dumping,

I think I know what it is.

It's like a Pompadour, but you eat it, like the hairstyle.

Ah, okay.

No, it's not.

Yeah.

Pompadour, let's see here.

Pompadour is...

Is that like the fried vegetable thing,

kind of almost like a tempura thing?

I know there's one like that.

It's a thin, crisp Indian preparation

sometimes described as a cracker,

typically served as an accompaniment to a meal in india also eaten as an appetizer or a snack

can be eaten with toppings such as chopped onions chutney or other dips and condiments

sounds boring sounds shitty they sell them dried but unroasted used in curries and vegetable

preparations it's like a cracker i think i've had it before i'm right on it you know what you know

what it looks like you know what it looks like it looks like uh like uh like a fried tortilla chip

kind of to me it's made then you can make it out of rice or potato all the main ingredients are

lentils black gram chickpeas rice and flour it's it's like a like a fried tortilla kind of yeah

there you go it looks like it's a fried lawn almost like a fried lawn bread just about

interesting it's gonna be kind of like a fried kind of cracker i know what i know what this

stuff is they've got another one called um uh none what the fuck is it none none and it's kind of

of like a really good actually it's kind of spicy they got different spices and then they take the

some of that bean flour and that that it's called gram and they like put that through and then some

of them will fry it and put these seasons on and it's in places like what we have for potato chips

corn chips and all that shit they've got these different flavor and dude they're fucking awesome

man i mean they've got oil obviously they fry them in oil but they've got a couple of them that are

They're really, really, you know, top, top brands of it, man.

So, like, man, if you ever get those, what was it, Nuncheng, Nunchun?

Ching Chong.

Nunchun something.

Ching Chong.

They're good.

They're fucking seriously good, man.

You can always see it on TV.

They're advertising B2G, and there's another one, and I always get to see it.

They're good, man.

APP.

We got cell phone numbers here.

This is the one that Nunu sent in, the Romney fan who hates Obama and doesn't like immigrants.

Let's give her a call.

This one goes out to a good friend, Nunu.

You're a good friend, right, Milkman?

You're his friend, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, absolutely.

Nunu's sending in a number.

If it hadn't been to KDK yet, it might be funny.

If KDK hasn't had an hour conversation with him.

Yeah, already.

That's what he does.

He just calls people down like,

Did you know that gay is natural and that men have a G-spot in their ass?

Did you know that women or lesbians, all of them, and men are all gay?

it's true

all people are bisexual

notice he doesn't comment

so this is a

is this the uh hi

I'm sorry I'm calling from the national

democrat committee this is

I'm not a democrat

I understand yes we want to thank you for your support

we have you down for a substantial

donation that you made

to the campaign on behalf of the last

um uh mondays

uh debate we want to thank you very much

for your support

I did not make a contribution.

I have you down for a $10,000 contribution here that was placed in your honor.

Kind of, you know, it's like a pledge.

You pledged by text message.

We want to thank you very much.

This is very nice of you.

I did not do that.

Well, how did you want to go ahead and take care of that?

Would you like to send check money order?

No, listen to me.

Listen to me.

I'm not a Democrat.

I did not pledge anything to the Democratic.

Call this.

we have you down that you you're a democrat and that you're an immigrant immigrant yes

well your name is that's a stupid name for a stupid immigrant this is stupid that's the name

the stupid immigrants have it's like a stupid re-say that statement one more time it's a stupid

immigrant name it sounds italian like you're a stupid immigrant did you hear it that time did

Did you understand, stupid?

I cannot believe you are on my phone right now.

Being recorded.

Huh?

Being recorded.

This is recorded.

Yeah, well, I mean, yeah.

I mean, all these calls are recorded.

Yeah, I'm recording it.

I'm recording it.

Well, go ahead.

We're recording it, too.

What's the big deal?

What's going to happen?

Keep talking.

I don't give you permission to record this call.

Keep talking.

I order you to destroy all copies of this recording immediately.

Keep talking.

I order you right now.

Destroy all copies immediately.

I want confirmation right now.

Hey, where were you going to be for Halloween?

Did you know that the most popular mask for Halloween this year is Obama,

our great president and dear leader?

She hung up.

She had a chuckle.

She got a little upset.

Yeah.

I'm not a devil, Craig.

My name ain't Crazy Fucker.

what i was trying to mention

you weren't around for this before milkman i wanted to converse with you about this did you

know did you see the whole donald trump he spent a whole weekend saying i got breaking bombshell

news that's going to change the election about obama and obama this and obama that and i got

insider scoop and i'm going to release it wednesday on twitter and it came out and he released i think

copies of obama and uh barack and michelle obama's divorce papers from like 15 years ago

that they filed but never went through with and never went through with the divorce but they

thought about getting divorced at one point who did donald trump did this oh don't come down and

my i'm like wow yeah that's uh that's sure one hell of a bombshell there donald trump you mean

like he's human is that what you're trying to say oh my god you mean he got divorced he he thought

about he got he wasn't getting along with his wife and he thought about getting divorced you

mean he actually worked it out with his wife and like the majority of cases like that wasn't ron

reagan divorced anyway at some point did he get divorced like twice before he married uh nancy

nancy reagan the guy that they all idolized like buddy buddy since like hollywood day i don't know

I know, dude.

I know that Bush and those other guys did mess around.

I don't know for sure if they ever claimed that he did or not.

I really cannot remember.

Ronald Reagan was the worst.

Carlito isn't drinking.

Why?

Scotland says there's something.

What's wrong?

Is it a bad show, Scotland?

Is that what it is?

We're on the show.

All right.

Everybody, we're going to end the show because Scotland thinks it's a bad show tonight.

Is that what's going on?

Hold my finger.

Fine, I'll drink.

Here, I'm going to get more red wine because I'm the monkey that sits here and drinks

and does prank calls and gets drunk and do prank calls.

I can't drink too much because I'm on pain meds for my arm pain.

Oh, man, you know this.

They put me on pain meds.

I can't drink too much, and I want to get a little sauced.

All right, I'll have some more red wine.

Here you go.

You have to go in there and attack the old lady in a little bit, man.

Wine in a box.

There you go.

You happy now?

Oh, yeah.

All right, let's continue on.

Let's see what more numbers I got here to do.

MPSA corporate sent in a number.

My girl sent this person a text by accident.

After they figured out it was a girl on the other end,

and he solicited her for phone sex.

That's probably Artie.

That's what Artie does when he gets wrong numbers from women.

He's like, oh, you want to have phone sex?

Artie had a job interview.

I'm going to wear a nice shorts right now.

Artie had a job interview, you know, at a movie theater.

I really wanted to talk to him.

After this call, we'll try to get Artie in here to derail the show.

I have reached the Sprint Boy mailbox of...

This is Artie.

That's the chick that was trying to have phone sex?

That's pretty cool, man.

Yeah.

All right, let's see if we can get Artie on this time.

i tried once and he didn't answer before no it's not going through good good good as long as we

don't have to hold our ears man let me check let me check because maybe he's changed his phone

number let me see i don't know let me get him on the old cell phone here real quick no man i don't

know which of these i got two numbers from i don't know which one's which he called me yesterday or

he texted me yesterday or something let me see his real name no arty no arty for you guys tonight

oh well sorry party party all right we'll try to call charlie again because jill's asking for

charlie and noon is asking for charlie we've got to call one of those that new guy back too

wouldn't we yeah in a little bit i'll call him i gotta save his number before i forget too thanks

there's two calls ago man like two three calls we're gonna call one or two of them back man

it's been about 20 minutes do another call or something we'll be ready charlie hey it's cross

Cross, man, I'm having a really bad day.

How you doing?

Cody.

This is Cross.

Yes, Matthew.

Yeah, I'm having a bad day.

Can I talk?

I found out I'm going to lose my job in two weeks.

You know, do you have any suggestions?

Is there anybody hiring in the area?

No.

Do you have any work I could do for you?

Well...

DC, okay?

Do you have any...

Hey, stupid, do you have any stupid work I can do for you?

No.

I can clean the piss and shit off the kitchen from the bird that you have.

The stupid, nasty, dirty bird.

Charlie.

he hung up

he's just busy

he's busy

this is a good mood

he's trying to be nice

I guess

so he's

anyway

did Charlie ever get

his Facebook back

let me know guys

I don't know if he ever did

that was a funny Facebook

for a while there

until the guy killed

he did have a Facebook

I didn't know that

it wasn't his real Facebook

but someone found

a bunch of weird pictures

alright

uh

DeathFox sent in

some numbers here also

we need to get

oh no we already did that

nevermind

Polaris reminded me

to give a happy birthday

to Bachi

already done

DeathFox did send in

other numbers here

including ge electric stove for sale uh death fox you sent in a number with no area code i don't

think i can call that death fox check that number you did sent it for the stove a few hours ago for

brandon selling a stove no area code sir i might need that i think it's a three we're gonna call

back a guy from little wally who's gonna call a couple of them all right call him after about

20 minutes call on him is it time you think it's time it's about that long all right the guy who's

Who's not at the East India Grill.

The guy who is not at the East India Grill.

There's the Indian guy, too.

That's him.

The Indian guy.

Who else is he going to call?

We didn't get his name, remember?

We never got his name.

Well, we heard it, but it doesn't make any sense.

He's just...

This is...

This is a woo-woo-woo-woo.

Oh, it must be midnight.

The boys are calling in.

Hang on, Enigma and Ken.

I'll connect in a second.

I think that's his name.

Ken and Enigma.

Hi.

I don't know.

I'm not right there.

I'm hanging in.

Hanging in there.

Not doing too well.

The area code for that stove is...

Hey, DeathFox.

All right.

Did you get the tractor one, too?

Yes, I did.

I got them all.

That one's a 205 also, I see.

Good work.

Thank you, sir.

All right, let me clear some requests for pranks, and we'll get to those.

Polaris sent in a number earlier for Hal.

Hal is a white nationalist radio show host who also has been proven in the court of law to be a known FBI informant.

Oh, he's a narc?

I like this song.

In March of 2009, his radio show, he said,

Let me be the first to say this plainly.

These judges deserve to be killed, referring to three Chicago judges.

He served three years in jail for this remark and has recently been released.

Call him and freeball it, but be careful with him.

He has been pranked many times in the past.

80% of the calls on his radio show that he ran through the mid-2000s were prank callers.

If he answers, this will be an entertaining call.

Good luck.

Alright, was it an internet radio show

Or was it a regular radio show

I wonder, we'll call it

I've got a headache, fuck

Always got something wrong with me, man

Oops, hung up on Death Fox

In an accident, we'll get him back

Yeah, please

Teach him, teach him a lesson

For doing these nasty things to me

Fuck, man

What's up with you, where's Dirty Aaron, man

What is up with that

He came in earlier.

I seen him and he disconnected soon after.

Oh, man.

I was going to reverse engineer you some Trojan customers, but I got drunk and passed out.

Yeah, what's his face?

Brad was telling me about you guys were planning and that you were drunk.

Yeah, I was going to get you some Trojan vibrations customers.

Oh, yeah, man.

That's the ring you put around your cock that vibrates?

Yeah, I got really drunk and passed out, but I couldn't do it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I had a story about that, but I don't think I'll say it.

I'll keep that personal.

It's a private story.

Something happened to one of those when I was using it once.

They blow your hair back.

If you call, leave me a message.

I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Have a great day.

Well, Tammy's not there.

My number might not answer this late at night.

I don't know.

It's 11 o'clock where I'm wasted right now, if you can't tell.

All right, so when those Trojan vibrating rings came out,

i was using one and i fell asleep and i left it on i left it on me you know what i'm saying it

wasn't turned on it has a little button on it but i i left it uh i was still wearing it and then when

i woke up in the morning i forgot about it and i went to go to work and i took a shower and i wasn't

paying attention i'm taking a shower and i'm starting to scrub down there and i hit the button

it started vibrating and i freaked out i started screaming i was like i was like half asleep still

all i know is like my dick's vibrating it's like and i'm like what the fuck is this what the fuck

is this what the fuck is this oh my god i'm scared the fuck out of me because it's just a ring it's

like it's like a gummy ring that goes around the top has like a little button and where the battery

goes on it yeah it's like a cockering yeah this shit freaked me out if i got scared as fuck i was

like i don't know i couldn't because i used a loofah so i i wasn't feeling around so i didn't

feel there was something there i was i was washing on there and all of a sudden my my dick

started buzzing i was like what the fuck i thought i was being electrocuted at first and then then i

started touching i was like what the fuck is this it's gonna make a list of things you never want

to hear buzzing number one your dick yeah your dick in the shower like you know one of those

handshake devices shock you yeah yeah i had a lot of fun with that i bought a pen once at a gas

station this pen that if you hit the if it was like an electric pen so if you hit the thing to

to make the top of the pen, the little button to make the writing part come out,

you know, the thing come out, it would shock you.

It was pretty funny.

We wanted to get one of those pens that shoot ink out

and give it to, like, somebody, like, at a restaurant or something.

You'd see him get really pissed at him.

I took my son to a museum for a field trip one time,

and they actually had those in their gift store, one of those electronic pens.

So we bought it, and I've been using it ever since.

sense my brother was over and i'm like hey i need you to write this number down i fucking gave him

a pad of paper and the pen i was like break this down he fucking hit it go flying yeah run around

try to fucking press it to my back and fucking shock me with it another one they have a lighter

like that so when you hit the button on the lighter to light it it shocks you and i got i

got athena with it like about three times because she smokes cigarettes i was like oh i get fun

later those are pretty powerful you're like here you go she's like okay god damn it not again like

gets pissed off. It'd be hilarious

if they made one with like the power of a taser.

Oh my god, are you kidding?

Kill somebody. The lighter one

would be cool at a marijuana

smoking party, like the kind that

Jamaicans have. I don't know if you could kill

somebody with a taser. I got really high once

and we was tasing each other. That's a

redneck thing right there.

Taser balls. Hello?

Yes, hi. I'm calling from

about the Stephen

and his Disney poo picnic

tree travel system machine.

did he buy it online or did he put it on layaway damn it what's that did you buy it online or did

you put it on the layaway uh which one the disney poo picnic tree travel system bouncer swing uh yes

what i mean yes did you buy it on i put it on online layaway okay you put it on online layaway

yes all right so there's been a problem with it we're going to give you a discount on it but

But we were horsing around back here, and a few of us guys were back here

horsing around at the Kmart, and we made a mess back here with some,

I don't know, some bodily fluids and stuff.

But this is the last one here that we have of this.

There aren't any others left.

Was this important?

Did you need to get this for sure?

Yeah, I have a kid on the way who will be here in two weeks.

And that's what you want it for?

Yeah.

All right.

right well there are some stains on it i mean we'll give it to you maybe 10 off but if you can

promise not to like tell our boss because he's going to get real upset if he finds out about it

but i'm gonna i'm gonna put it in the computer now here i'm gonna give you a five percent discount

and then you won't worry about there's uh urine stains and feces stains on it and that'll come

right out i mean and everything like that and i'm clean i just got tested recently oh no man i'd

I'd rather just not have it.

You paid for it.

You made the initial payment for it, though, right?

Yeah, but that's kind of shitty.

Well, yeah, I know.

It's kind of funny.

That's exactly kind of what's on it.

It's got, like, shit stains and piss stains on it.

Yeah.

We don't have any more, and the computer, I mean, I've tried, and I tried, and it won't

let me refund the money, so then we can cancel it for you.

I can cancel on the computer, but the deposit would have to stay.

Let me see if I can try again.

Hang on.

No, it's declining to cancel it because it's a hard deposit.

that you put a hard deposit on it on the website yeah all right so did you just want to pick it up

for the discount then or if you want to cancel then you're going to be out the initial money

you paid i guess i'll pick it up all right and what were you going to do with it exactly do you

want to try to clean it no man i'd probably just catch it on fire to be honest yeah but that's a

waste of money though well money even if i you know let the whole layaway go and i have to go

back and put all the rest of the crap back on my way anyway yeah but here's what i'm trying to get

it out here's what you do all right you're you cancel it but you know we don't tell anybody

right i'll just cancel the computer and then you don't get your money back that you the first

payment but then you still save the money for the other you know the other um you don't have

to pay for the whole thing you see you see what i'm saying so it makes more sense if i just cancel

the layaway manually and you don't tell anybody about it and then you don't get the initial

payment back i think that's the best thing for everybody no i i need everything else so

yeah but it has it has feces and urine on it no i'll have to keep the labor dude

it has shit and piss come on i don't know can't talk to this guy i don't know what to tell him

i'll cross you you don't want to know what else just happened

he's like oh dude that was cool i want to do something i'm drunk and i want to mess with

with somebody. Let me talk

sometimes. Death Fox, no offense,

but you seem to drink a lot, man.

I'm a drunk. No.

I'm not trying to sound

like an asshole, but every day I'm in

the chat.

I love you, man. That's a lot of money.

I'm just a drunk.

It's cool.

Because I know it's like I'm at work and I'm

chatting in the IRC. It's like 2 p.m.

I'm drunk. I'm like, all right.

I'm drunk.

I'm drunk Mondays, Thursdays.

8 o'clock.

All day, Mondays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.

That's why I drink.

Wow.

You ever talk to Laugh Track Matt from PLA?

He's a drunk, too.

You guys should hang out.

I mean, if you're drinking this, does it really make you a drunk?

I don't know.

There's a whole list of things you're supposed to ask.

I'm sure you probably rank up there.

It's cool, man.

You can be a drunk.

It's all good.

Do you do anything else?

Do you smoke pot?

No, I do nothing.

I sit at home.

I don't drive.

I don't do nothing.

but i drink three times a week yeah three days a week and i don't do nothing crazy and i've went

to where i don't drink but like i'm really gone right now oh shit zyclone zyclone call back in

hang on zyclone was trying to call i don't want zyclone i think we don't like him on the show

some people like bookapoo and stuff were saying what do you need it's 7 a.m and i'm drunk as fuck

yeah no the reason i get drunk so early is because the beer store opens at 7

I can't help it

They opened it

That time

It's their fault

You're enabling me

Motherfucker

You're enabling me

I can't help it

Okay

That's all I know

What's the fucking

Liquor store's number

So we can call

And have a talk with them

No dude

They won't sell me

No they won't sell me

Liquor dude

They'll only sell me

Beer

For real

They will not

Why is it Sunday

It's because

Last time I had

Vodka

I got naked

What

You look retarded.

You don't even want to know.

I drank a half gallon of vodka.

In the store, though, right?

That's where you got naked.

That's why they won't sell it to you.

No.

My family has called and pleaded with me to sell me liquor, and they won't.

Do you live in a small town or something?

A very small town.

Oh, my God.

You're like the town drunk.

That's awesome.

And you collect action figures?

Like, what do you collect?

Ninja Turtles, or what do you got?

No, I collect horror movie action figures.

Like, I have a replica of, like, have you ever saw that movie Jason vs. Freddy?

I have a two-foot-tall Jason that was from that movie.

All right.

So here's a question.

Freddy, Jason, or Michael Myers?

I don't know.

Michael Myers and Jason would, I think, would decimate Freddy because Freddy only, like...

Freddy's a bitch.

...in the dream world.

Yeah, Freddy's a bitch.

He doesn't exist outside of the dream.

fuck freddy's ass and another my most expensive figure i have is a almost three-fold alien figure

from the original aliens movie speaking of aliens have you seen prometheus is it any good it's a

good movie man i heard it wasn't that good i don't know i don't know i saw all the alien movies except

for alien versus predator never got to see that alien versus predators crap as a movie that's

what i heard it's the video game i had to watch that movie like eight times because every time

I'm going to try to watch that movie and I'm going to waste it.

And I just don't remember it.

So I just keep going back and watching it again.

It's like a new movie every time I watch it.

That's why I keep watching it.

All right, hey.

So Carlito, by the way, speaking of football,

I have to say, fuck you, Bagotron.

Fuck you and the Rusty Downholmes dildo.

Why? What happened?

Because I needed eight points to win and he only got me six.

Oh, man.

Well, you see, there you go.

You can just fuck Meg Berlusconi.

I'll fuck Megatron.

Yeah.

Well, what's up with, seriously, what's up with Dirty Aaron, man?

So he was in a chat room, at least, so he made an appearance, but he left real quick.

He's serious.

That's what's going on.

Yeah, I don't know.

Maybe.

Maybe he thinks his wife's giving him shit, maybe?

I don't know.

I wonder if that's what's going on.

I don't know.

I don't know, man.

Well, he's, whatever.

All right.

Let's do some more pranks.

Let's see, I've got some more layaway customers here.

Only a few left.

You want to do one, Zyklon?

Yeah.

I actually called the Turkish horse before the show and did a Turkish version of a Bhenchod call.

Oh, you found out what Bhenchod is in Turkish?

Yeah, I found a website that has all sorts of Turkish swear words.

Half of them are ones that I could never try to pronounce, but I tried using bak, which is Turkish for shit, and they were like instant hang up.

Oh, man.

But I did get Faison or the other guy.

You got the guy?

later and see if i can catch one of them yeah all right did you get the indian restaurant i gave you

they're supposed to be open till 10 um texas time so they should still be open

they're under rabbi supervision they're not under rabbinical supervision my friend

i'll post the number in the um thing right now so we can call them hold on sky well they're

going to be closed i think by now hey yeah they're closed yeah no texas time is two hours

is behind me and it's only 11 here in alabama so they should be open one or two hours behind you

yeah one hour maybe no it depends on what part of texas is three hours behind we'll try it the

worst the worst is the one answer all right look in the meantime all right in the meantime i posted

i posted in the uh skype chat there the uh the layaways i got and i'm going to start from the

top down so zyclone you have the first one for jerry who got a recliner do you see that

that information there,

sir.

Yeah,

I see it.

Zero rigs and Jerry's.

Oh yeah.

I see it.

So that's when Brad tried to confirm it.

That's what he got,

but sometimes they still answer.

So we'll try that and we'll work our way down.

We're slowly wrapping things up here.

Top of the hour will be the end of the show.

You're listening to Madhouse radio for October.

Well,

it's now the 26th.

We started out the 25th.

I don't know.

At least here in the East coast is the 26th.

Now.

Happy birthday to Bachi.

Happy birthday,

milk,

man.

Happy Halloween,

everybody.

Happy birthday.

Where's that number?

I'm shutting up now.

Yeah.

And by the way, most of these appear to have been online orders, not layaway.

Or if they do online layaway where you order it online, then you do a layaway pickup.

Yeah, hi.

I appreciate your name, number, and brief message.

I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Thank you.

All right, Zyklon.

Hang on.

We'll move to the next one then.

Kimberly.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, I like those L.A. Gears.

They used to light up.

Actually, I would make an arcade shoe.

Man, that's just an L.A. Gear in a high-price shoe store.

That's all it takes.

They want $80 for L.A. gear.

I'm like, I had an L.A. gear shirt in 94.

What about O.P.?

They still sell O.P.?

O.P.?

British Knights.

Remember British Knights?

O.P.?

I don't know.

No one's heard of O.P., I guess not.

You know me?

Hello?

Yeah, not that.

Hi, Kimberly?

Yeah?

Hi, this is Larry.

I am online layover department.

We just got your plug warmer into our store.

All you need to do is come on down,

pay your last two payments, and you can pick them up.

All you've got to do is come down, pay your last two payments, and pick them up.

I didn't put those on layaway. I'm sorry.

Our computer shows you did.

You owe us two payments of $59.99 apiece,

or else we will cancel your layaway,

and you will get your money back minus $50 processing.

I didn't put them on layaway.

I bought them at a site to store.

I've already picked them up, and I had already paid for them.

Well, our computer shows you still have to pay for them.

Well, your computer's wrong.

I bought them at the store and picked them up the day after I ordered them.

I've already picked them up.

I have the computer, and this is not wrong.

Our computer actually will, if you don't pick them up in three days,

our computer will actually charge $59.99 to your credit card,

and it will charge the remaining $59.99 in two more days.

So I suggest you come in and fix this.

I didn't put anything on layaway.

I live in Washington State.

I didn't put anything on layaway.

I bought them and picked them up at my local store in Washington State.

I didn't put anything in my way.

My credit card was already charged for how much I paid for them, which was $20.

Well, I've got to go by what my computer says.

My computer is saying you owe us two payments of $59.99.

Your computer is wrong.

What I bought was a pair of rings.

My computer is not wrong.

My computer is right.

I need to talk to your manager.

Yeah, yeah.

Hold on.

Let me put Cross on the line.

hello this is cross i understand you're having some kind of problem here yes i am i didn't put

anything on layaway so i don't know who's calling me and telling me i need to come pick him up or

pay two extra payments on my credit card all right let me take a look here

these fucking customers all right it says here that you owe $59.99 payment and then $50

transmission fee after that if you don't pick it up two days after because you put it on layaway

site the store layaway and yeah you need to come pay this lady you need to you know the bottom line

is you need to take pride and responsibility on your obligations financially and we've been having

a lot of problems with white trash people and our organization for the last few years and we're not

taking it anymore so we would really appreciate if you would come and pay the remaining balance

balance in the remaining two payments, or we're going to charge the $59 and then the

extra $50 for being a deadbeat, okay?

Who is this?

This isn't, who is this?

No, I'm Cross.

I'm with Corporate Control Machines, and we're with the layaway site-to-store department.

No, you're not.

This is ridiculous.

Listen, I'm printing this out right now.

Cross, Cross, I have another, she's on the other line.

Can you help her out?

Yeah, this is another, hang on, let me, ma'am, I'm going to transfer you to my supervisor,

okay?

Give me just a moment.

No, you know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to report this number that you just called my phone at

to the police

I'm putting you through your stupid

hang on Ken I've got an asshole

another bitch asshole fucking customer over here

can you help out

oh she's gone

nice

that's just the one thing that if you always

mention credit cards

I'm sorry

it's like saying shit and piss in the toilet

I love to complain

I wish I had that I would have

someone sit there and like piss in the toilet

when I was talking to her

I'm in the middle of paying

You're going to have to listen

I've got the corpus phone

What do you need, bitch?

Let's call that guy about this cracker

About what? The cracker?

Yeah, I posted it in the chat

Alright, hang on

Tractor, tractor, alright, I got it

Who's taking this? You want to do this one, sir?

Mr. Death Fox?

I'm not good at initial calls

I like to chime in

Chime in?

No, I'm not good at initials

I guess I can, I guess.

No, you don't have to.

It's all right.

No problem.

If you're trying to buy a tractor, say your name's Alonzo, act like a black guy, and you're

trying to buy one or something.

Alonzo?

Yo.

My name's Alonzo.

Yo, I'm going to take out this tractor.

Yeah, act like a black guy and say that you're owed it as reparations for slavery.

For your 40 acres because your mule didn't make it.

All right, Judy Merchant.

It's going to be Cottonfield.

My work is going to be a tractor.

tractor. Don't say cotton field

because that just makes me want to think of racist

things. Makes you think of Mike Tucker.

Tucker Mike. He's got a cotton field.

There's a big cotton field in our town. It's like three acres.

What the fuck do you want, Mike Tucker?

He's got a cotton field.

Alright, yeah. Judy Merchant

is selling a

Yanmar tractor. 18

horsepower. Do you see what Scotland

did? Scotland goaded me on to drink

more wine while I'm on Vicodins

and now I'm fucking slurring like KDK

on a Saturday night.

What was up with KDK

That was a whiny show

I don't even listen to it

I don't think I even listen to it

You see Scotland

He's like oh we've done two prank calls

In the last hour and 15 minutes

Gay crying show

He's doing the gay crying show again

He permabanned half our people

Like Enigma, me

Oh he had a gay crying show

Me too

You're going to have to go in and unban him man

No, Noonoo was giving you numbers like the BBC switchboard stuff.

Can we call the BBC switchboard?

What's wrong with Scotland?

I thought Scotland was a cool person.

Why is Scotland being an asshole all of a sudden?

Am I at the band Scotland?

Well, he's been helping us, but what's the problem now?

I don't know what Scotland's problem is.

Jeez.

What number is that?

Oh, can we call the Turkish works?

Oh, he says he's scared of Noonoo, I think.

I don't know what Scotland said.

I thought Scotland was cool.

Is this a tractor?

Yeah, tractor.

I got it.

Who's taking it?

I got it, I got it.

Okay, it's 11.30, so.

Welcome to me.

We have a large variety of shakes and sundaes.

We also have a large variety of toppings.

We also have a tractor.

So come in and check us out.

That happened three hours ago.

Try that washer person.

That's supposed to be a person.

We have, that's funny.

We have a large variety of shakes and tractors.

Yeah, I thought Scotland, Scotland, I thought you were cool, man.

What's going on?

I said that you're one of the good people.

I don't understand what's going on with Scotland.

I'm really disappointed in you, Scotland, tonight, all right?

I'm really disappointed in you.

He's in the chat.

You see Ted Webb in the chat right now?

Hmm?

You see Ted Webb in the chat?

Yeah, Ted's in there.

Ken Webb's in there.

I see him in there.

Ken Webb and Ted Webb are in there, yep.

Yeah.

Same person.

They all sound the same, those webs.

Who said what?

Call who now?

What?

What did you guys say?

Thursday, I posted a person selling a washer.

Oh.

Eric in there.

Yeah, that's right.

I said they might not answer because I tried to give you all those, like, two hours ago, and it's, like, 1130 here now.

You can try it.

I'm an asshole.

We'll do it.

It's all good.

Plus, there's an Indian restaurant.

They should still be open.

All right, here we go.

Wilson, we've got some numbers he just confirmed.

We can do those.

They're all in the room.

Stove.

Same dimensions.

I can't believe it.

I'm not just talking about weed.

Fuck you, Brendan.

I'll leave a message.

This is your midnight stove buying call.

oh man all right new new lonesome finding uk people a last time entwistle guy in charge of

bbc is called george entwistle and he's in a lot of shit over the way he handled the bbc

pedophile ring investigation still huge news in the bbc in the uk historic growing by the day

you know i'm a little upset because some of you guys leaked information last week during our show

that that guy was uh he was fucking dead bodies and stuff whatever that's called what's that

I call it necrophilia.

That's not true.

I haven't seen any more information about that.

That's a big lie.

It's kind of lame that Nunu's recycling numbers with KDK, too, in my opinion.

He is gay.

Those assholes are sandbagging you, weren't they, Carlito?

Yeah.

Well, we get them first, though.

We get the numbers first, and then KDK does them and ruins them.

I get upset when, like, because here's why I get upset.

Because Nunu, like, gave out.

I get upset when Nunu gives out, like, Charlie.

Nunu's a cunt.

Well, Nuno gives out Charlie's cell phone because Charlie, I found Charlie myself.

That was on my own.

And then he gave it to Zolar, and Zolar's cool.

Zolar had some fun.

That's a traitor's act, though, without permission, man.

That's ours, man.

You can give it to Zolar, but you give it to KDK,

and all he's going to do is he's going to have a conversation with him.

Thanks, Lenny.

That's why he's no more fun anymore.

He's burnt out.

The guy hears calls from everybody.

buying yeah they're like just up to the thursday every like two or three times a month yeah but

what really pissed me off was like when i was sick last year like for a good six months uh arty

and lonesome loser on the side were calling charlie and making hilarious prank calls to him

they're they're like you know they're like oh these calls were funny lonesome and and and

arty were like oh we made awesome prank calls to charlie like great can i hear him no we didn't

record him i'm like are you fucking kidding me why don't you record him he's like oh already

said i don't know i didn't think about it like oh my god and the same thing remember the with

the guy junkbuster that uh reclude prank called that one time they said oh yeah we read the

junkbuster guy is awesome and we called them and he's and he was talking about biting you're going

to be biting the jail bars and i said i was gonna that'd be hilarious to listen to like oh we didn't

record them.

I don't really understand that Zolar

guy's show. All he does is ask for money

all the time. I don't watch

him that much anymore. I still do. I tried to watch

him last night, and like for 20

minutes straight, he asked for donations.

And it said at the top of his battle

cast, he's got like $2,000.

I mean, I would be content with

$2,000. I'd be content too.

Hey, for $2,000, I could buy a bunch of shit in my

store. You could buy a lot of weed, man.

You know? Yeah, weed only gives you

a lot of height, though. At least for the gun you got.

It only costs you like 25 cents a shot.

I like helping y'all because y'all don't beg for money.

Y'all do it for the fun.

Yeah, I don't ever.

I never, yeah, I never.

I think one time I had donations up there, and I got a few hundred dollars,

and I cut it off, and I probably won't do it again for another year.

Real quick.

I like that.

Oh, man.

Real quick.

Well, we got on the subject of the weed.

Milkman, what do you know about sour diesel?

What do you gentlemen know about sour diesel?

It's pretty good.

I'm an AK-47 better.

better it's like a cross of um of two of them right it's like a it's a it's not an indica though

right it's the other one what's what is the indica and what's your sativa cross oh nice man

i might get a hook up with that tomorrow hopefully it's gonna be a good week

yeah i heard it's taste man whatever you blow it out man it's got like you know like you know

like you know kind of like a diesel like exhaust smell yeah oh that sounds healthy

no no it's at the end

it's just a finish I can't explain it

when it gets burnt down

it gets that kind of like

exhaust taste

hey Dirty Aaron's on

Dirty Aaron's on Skype

next time you talk to Charlie

or Turkish Horse or his wife

you should ask for donations

so you can keep calling them

seriously let's call the Turkish Horse

I'll give you

I'll put a link in Skype to the Turkish swear words

all right well i got how about you show us how to do it since you had such fun

were they the hung up on you said hey carlito i haven't i'll try for faisal i bet i can probably

get him at least hang on real quick death fox you're saying go ahead sir yeah i haven't smoked

in like half a year but i used to smoke all the time this stuff called ak-47 because i had a

friend that's good stuff yeah i've had the military and he brought it back from afghanistan

down oh shit and yeah yeah um it's like the number one like thing it's for stress

that shit just it just makes you feel great yeah when i lived in orlando we used to get a lot of

yeah when i when i lived in orlando the guy used to get weed from he rest in peace for pedro i

miss that guy the droid machine he died he died in an accident last year but he used to get ak-47

and he used to get orange crush also orange crush was the bomb man and uh every once in a while he

He'd get that blueberry yum or whatever they call it,

blueberry yum yum or something like that,

and it straight up tastes just like blueberries, man.

That was so crazy.

That's Canadian, isn't it, the blueberry?

I think so, yeah.

I don't know where he would get it.

He would come and he'd be like,

or he'd be like, hey, Carlito, I got that orange crush,

and he'd come over.

And a lot of times, you guys know that guy Pedro,

like he was never really on it.

He would hang out during the show.

He'll be in the background with me and Will back in 2007 with me and Will.

He would never really.

I've never heard about him.

I never knew who his name was.

He was the dude, the hookup dude.

Yeah, you would hear those pranks,

and sometimes you'd hear a guy laugh in the background.

That's Pedro.

He'd be sitting there.

He's a really cool dude.

I had to quit smoking, though, because here in Alabama, man,

they'll give you like 20 years to get caught with over.

That's like Virginia.

They'll throw the key away.

They'll lock you up, and they won't give you toilet paper.

What?

They'll keep feeding you.

Yeah.

In the southern states, they'll just fucking throw the book at you if you get caught with weed.

Well, in Virginia, milkmen, I'll tell you, they'll lock you up, and then they'll give you all this food,

and you get to shit, and then you're like, where's the toilet paper?

And they go, ha, ha, ha, ha.

You take a big shit to the toilet.

Yeah.

I haven't seen you get caught.

Without a lid on the toilet, either.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

It's all stainless steel.

And then somebody vomits into, like, sinks,

and you can't get a drink out of the water out of the sink,

and you get, like, full of barf.

That's ridiculous.

That's the way to go.

You have to do the Adolito, and the poo-poo comes out,

and they make you eat the poo-poo.

Yeah, that's how you clean up.

Weren't they the same assholes that were, like,

throwing people in jail for prank calling over there, too?

Virginia was, yeah.

Oh, yeah, somebody linked that video in Madhouse Chat.

it was it's sad to watch it you see that guy you're like you know how crazy he is actually

hey nunu real quick nunu um sent me a pic during the week of a ugandan newspaper where they outed

some gay guy and it's really funny it's like i forgot what it is nunu if you got that link

put it in the chat room real quick so people can see that newspaper from uganda yeah they it's like

a like they outed some gay guy into like you know wandered pervert or something like that

It's like a gay guy in a picture like, ooh.

And they're going to throw him in jail and make him eat the poo-poo.

All right, Turkish Kitchen, you ready?

Hey, everyone say hi to Dirty Aaron because he's been hiding since he got beat by Ken.

Hey, Dirty Aaron.

No, he got beat by me.

I was the one that edited his unbeaten streak.

I gave him a lot of props.

It's the most good thing I've had this year in fantasy football.

I just took his ass out last week.

What happened?

Don't talk about my ass.

I think I'm going to lose this week, too.

We should one day prank Italian restaurants.

I've never heard you prank Italians.

Eh, I don't know.

All right, hey, let's do pranks, period.

Guys, come on.

Turkish Kitchen, here we go.

No more talking.

That's it.

No more talking.

Talking's over.

Yes.

Time for action.

Who's in the Turkish Kitchen?

Turkish Kitchen, Zyklon.

Who's in the Turkish Kitchen?

He's a big Turkish cursor now, Zyklon is.

Time to breach the wall.

Who's talking?

You?

Yes.

Thank you for calling Turkish Kitchen.

For a takeout order, please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Oh my

They don't answer anymore

But they have a second location now

And I don't think that they know about us

Oh yes

Definitely the Swervins will probably work with them

Yeah we got a second

There's a second location

Let's try the second one

Maybe the husband is there

Because every time we call the main one

We get Faison

I wonder if the husband is at the other one

Do they speak Arabic?

No they speak Turkish

Most of the Turkish speak Arabic, too, because they're Muslims.

No, not really.

Not necessarily.

Turks and Arabs are completely different ethnic groups.

Anyway, if you want to read Turkish swear words, look at the friggin' link in Skype.

No, I'm just saying because, like, Assalamu alaikum, blah, blah, blah, it's like, it's Arabic and stuff.

That's more Muslim.

That's universal.

All right, listen.

All right, hey, we got in Vancouver, we got a PA system extension for a store.

called real canadian superstore pick any department get the name of someone in one

department call back say you're mr x from the other department and your star button is broken

can you transfer me to star 61 not sure if they can kick you off the pa system but it does work

i will try it i don't know see if we get the pa system this is something we've tried time and time

again it's never worked although i did learn in brad's book which i forgot the name of right now

Fred Meyer.

It was in Fred Meyer.

Fred Meyer's was hilarious.

Yeah, the whole story is about that.

If you have a credit, go to PhoneLosers.com and read the Fred Meyer story.

Or get Brad's book.

Yep.

Did he ever get an e-book version of that released?

He should if he did.

Thank you for calling the Real Canadian Superstore on Grandview Highway.

To hear our store hours and location, please press 1 now.

Your call is very important to us, and the following menu will help serve you faster.

Enter the three-digit number at any time.

time optical department 554 closed pharmacy 575 to reach customer service 402 beauty 401

photo and audio 409 joe apparel that might be open now now i'm gonna try to get some

listen quiet we guys we just gotta get the name of someone in the department

as for suit of fashion i got this i'm smart i'm a lawyer i can figure this out

Well, it's got to be a guy, anyway.

Yeah, Vancouver might be.

All right, so, yeah, anyway, we'll have to do that earlier in the show.

Do you want to freak somebody out?

I'm drinking brandy right now.

Do you want to freak somebody out, call Walmart and ask for Sudafed?

Yeah, especially if it's in the South.

Yeah, you'll freak somebody out.

Someone PM me with that number I've sent in there in chat.

Check it out.

You know what Sudafed is used for, right, Carly, though?

For methamphetamine.

Right.

Do you have liquid fire

in best cases?

Them crazy fucks down south will sit there

and try to make their shit right there

in the Walmart. I've seen like four or five stories

Fortunately, now the store I work at

it's a gun store, so that shit

ain't going to happen because if someone tried it, they're probably

going to be looking down the barrel of multiple firearms

until the police arrive.

Hey, Zyklon, real quick, I've got to get with you on

a gun purchase. I've got to figure out what kind of gun

I want to buy. I've got to protect myself.

So there's too much shit going on in this town I live in.

Get a 9mm, man.

That's universe.

Zyklon works at a gun store.

Are you shitting me?

Yeah, you should work at a free Walmart.

No answer to that number you posted.

You want home protection in home, or are you looking for something to carry with you?

In the house, you want a shotgun.

I get a shotgun or an AK-47, probably.

I got a .25.

Hold on a minute, dude.

There's a much simpler solution.

and I'll tell you about it later, dude, for the home.

I'll tell you about it.

But, no, I'm talking about, listen, I'm talking about on my person

while I'm, like, you know, downtown.

I got a 20-gauge and a 12-gauge in my house right now.

Yeah, but how do I carry it?

Like, do I get a holster?

9-millimeter?

Yeah, you can get it anywhere you want.

That's not a thing.

You can carry a permit in, like, 40 states, man.

Hey, Milkman, yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.

It's called the Taurus Judge, and they're fucking awesome.

I couldn't remember the name.

I was going to look at it.

I know one of these motherfuckers, dude,

and I've seen, like, a picture where this motherfucker shoots out, like, three feet,

but it doesn't, like, go flying around the room.

And, I mean, this motherfucker, you can just, like, take, like, okay,

if he's, like, pointing, like, to where the bathroom door is beside it,

you can open up another fucking bathroom door like that,

and you've got five more to go.

Wow, that's awesome.

That's a hell of a good squirrel gun

Or deer gun, a .410 is

You can kill a lot with that

So if you have that spray and shot

Anybody's coming back

One is to load your standard punch

And the other is to load dives

But the open carry permit for a 9mm

Is really simple

It's legal in like 40 something states

You got a semi-automatic

So you always got a risk of jamming

you know that's what i said nine millimeters and things are easy they're common and they're not

going to jam get you like a beretta nine millimeter they do jam but they do jam

my friend used to have a mac man and they do fucking jam i'm telling you the nine will jam

all right guys all right gun gun talk later here we got uh ian who's his neighbor likes to throw

a beer bottle off of his porch

into the street. What a redneck asshole.

I want to be talked to him.

I just threw a beer bottle at him.

I was going to say,

I wanted to talk to him.

What an asshole.

If you throw a beer bottle,

you're going to shoot it out of the air.

You're going to throw this shit out

in the street.

He'll believe it because of the way I sound.

What an asshole. I've got to throw this shit

on the street.

Call Ian as his neighbor.

call ian as his neighbor and start an argument with him tell him that you're going to throw

bottles are you guys listening fuckers hey listen call ian as his neighbor and start an argument

with him tell him you're going to throw bottles at his car and his house speak like a 50 year

old man or do whatever you want i don't care all right you're ready ian all right fine damn it

here we go i'm gonna paste copying now and i'm pasting here everyone's drunk who's drunk here

I know I am, and I know

What's the reason I'm pointing a bottle to this house, though?

Tell me the reason

I don't know, this is dumb redneck guy

Why would you do that? What an asshole

I'm gonna get glass all over the fucking street

Asshole

I swear to God, that's something Rev would do

Asshole machine

There we go, hey, we need a new bot, DeathFox

We need a new bot, asshole machine

What do you want it to do, though?

I don't know, just have it sit there

And make rude comments to people in the chatroom all the time

There you go

I can do that

You give me a comment

And I'll have it randomly played

Every 12 minutes

You give me a quote list

And I'll do it

Why am I throwing these bottles at you?

I don't know

Because you're an asshole

Tell him you're going to pick up his balls and throw them back

Did you get my email by the way Matt?

I sent it last night

I'll leave a voicemail

Let me leave a voicemail if you don't answer

Hey you motherfucker

And I promise you

You better not fucking

Pick him up

If you pick him up

I'm gonna shoot you

Not like in a violent way

Like at the ground

So don't like report me

Thanks

Bye

He probably does

To his neighbor

With that drunk voice

Accent here

He's probably like

Oh my god

My neighbor just called

So he's gonna shoot me

that would have been perfect for a really

Larry's call it's like hey I saw

your beer bottles in my yard

I will throw them back

if I see any more you motherfucker

I like it better when Death Fox says it

than his regular drunk voice that's kind of funny

Larry's just kind of like go to guy

like you know how you have Ross

and all that shit

shoot at the ground

I don't think this is a thing

cause I'm just gonna shoot at the ground

I don't want you to report me

this show should just be called

this is the drug show

I guess so

I think so

Enfelds sent in a number

he sent in a request but no number

any Walmart

oh well there you go

hey why am I going to do your work for you

Enfelds if you want to

find me a Walmart

I'll freak them out

here's the last one

hold on

UK Godfather wants us to

call that stupid cab taxi

place he always wants us to call that never

goes anywhere

better cars or A1

V cars

let's send a taxi to David Lloyd for Jim

there you go

let's find a David

let's find like a British

hold on let me find a David Lloyd real fast

well you know

David Lloyd Manchester

and I bet you'll get some money I guarantee it

The whole point is to send a friggin' taxi

To the David Lloyds for Jed

I'll find one, hold on, give me three seconds

Okay, you do it

We'll be happy if we send something to David Lloyd

While we do that, hey

P. Seville is in England

Pinner, England, we're gonna do some UK calls

And start wrapping it up here

Guys, you okay with that? Good

Sure, we're all drunk

I'll take some UK

Fuck your mother

I don't know who's who talking right now

Brent Westwood

Hey guys

Guys Brent Westwood hasn't been on the line for a while

So we need to let him do some

He's been in hiding for a couple weeks

He's been in hiding

I'm posting the

Details in the chat room there

In the Skype chat rather

First one is P. Seville

Go nuts have fun

A woman answered there whatever

You guys take over because I'm not doing any more

I'm just doing the calls

Pow

I'm going to look for some more bread

Shut up

And try not to talk over each other while we do this

Jesus

Yes, is this P. Seville?

Yes

Yes, good morning, this is Brent Westwood calling

Who?

Brent Westwood

Yes, yes, that's correct

Calling from the UK water machines

We're going to be turning off your water

In about half an hour

I've got an emergency

And I need water

Well, can you get up and flush the toilet for me or not?

Can I get what?

Can you get up and flush the loo?

Why are you ringing to tell me twice?

Excuse me?

We're going to shut the fuck up.

You're not running anybody else around here.

Have you rung my number?

I don't think so.

Is this P. Seville in Pinner, England?

What address am I?

5 Lindy Lake, Westford Park, Pinner, England.

You're 1-800-fucking-flush-the-loo.

Pardon?

Have you addressed me?

We just need you to go and flush the toilet to see if your water's on.

You haven't rung anybody.

anybody i'm ringing

you.

Because I just want to call and get you wound up.

Because you're a tosser.

Because what?

Because you're a wanker.

Huh?

Stupid wanker.

Stupid brush your teeth with powdered sugar, wanker.

Huh?

Do you understand that?

Yay.

Who says fuck you?

Hey, I gave you a number for a chick selling a bed.

She probably won't answer, but we can try it.

Oh, we can ask her if it has piss stains on it.

That'd be nice.

Yeah, it'd be fun.

It'd be fun.

I prefer it has piss stains.

I don't want it otherwise.

Hey, guys.

Are you doing the bed?

That's what I would ask her.

Brent Westwood, that was good because he was like,

well, I have an emergency.

Hey Carlito

I found

I was very honored to be a part of the intro

To the podcast

Here a couple weeks ago

That is a special honor isn't it

I was editing that and I said this one's here for Dirty Aaron

Maybe those will bring him back

The son of a bitch

You know I do things like that

And I love you guys for being on the last hour

We have a lot of fun in this last hour of the show

You know, who's our normal crowd for the last hour?

Normally it's always Ken and Dirty Aaron, right?

Zyklon.

I'm new, but we're always fucking here.

Death Fox is breaking in lately.

Ted sometimes joins us last hour.

Milkman's always here.

Jen's usually here lately.

We've lost Milkman.

Yeah, we lost Milkman again.

All right, let me cut that off.

Hey, Carlito.

This is going to be mad.

Carlito, you need to do it.

Here's the next one.

Decivil.

Brent, do it again.

Come on.

Brent. Okay, here we go. Get pumped. Do it. Slack your chest.

Get pumped. Hello? Yes, D. Seville. Who's speaking, please?

Yes, this is Brent Westwood. How can I help you? Yes, I'm calling.

We're going to be shutting off your water in about a half an hour because we're having

too much water coming out of your system. Do you have an extra toilet running

or maybe there's something, you have a leak?

Who are you speaking on behalf of? Who am I speaking? UK

UK Water Administration Machines.

I'm at a call center in the United States.

We're under contract from the government.

Who are you?

You're a woman.

You're questioning me.

You need to go flush the toilet.

Goodbye.

No, don't hang up.

I'm going to shut off your water.

This is a bit late.

I'll call it out.

I'll straighten it out.

Straighten it out.

I'm going to get that straightened out.

Your name is straightened out.

Hello?

Hi, this is Eric.

I'm the supervisor here with UK Water Administration Machines.

I just wanted to straighten this out.

You just got a call from Brent Westwood.

He's my associate here.

Yeah, he didn't have the full information, but we're receiving on the computer here that there's a water leak coming from your location.

Do you have a running faucet?

You're receiving a what?

Our computer is receiving word that your home is causing a substantial water leak in the water machine system.

The water table is going low for the rest of the street that you live on, and it's because of your house.

You have a water leak.

Do you realize this is an international call?

Yes, I do.

We're working a call center in the United States

and we're contracted by the United Kingdom

to watch the water machine and the water table and everything

because there's a water problem in the United Kingdom

with people stealing water.

And we're not accusing you of stealing water.

We just think that you have something in your home

that's depleting the water and running it out.

And the problem is people are getting ready to get up soon

going to take their showers and use the toilet and flush the toilets and make tea and everything

and then they're not going to be able to because you're have a leak inside your house and that's

bad is bad i'm sorry this doesn't sound credible no i'm credible i'm with uk water machines can

you please check do you how many toilets do you have in your home you have just one toilet there's

no the water is running all right in our home well have you been running it like constantly

Is the toilet flushing on its own at all?

I'm looking it up on the computer now.

It says that it looks like you have a refrigerator that processes water automatically

or an ice maker inside the refrigerator.

I'm just having a look.

Dave, will you put the alarm off, please?

Turn off the alarm, please.

Do you reckon it's a refrigerator?

Well, yes.

Does your refrigerator make ice automatically?

I'm just going to check.

How would we know we had a leak?

Well, can you unplug it, and then I'll check the computer,

and it'll show me, and then you can plug it back in if it's not a problem.

You know the unplug it from the power source?

There's no water leaking on the floor. There's nothing.

What about your toilets, then?

Evidence.

Do you have a toilet there, or do you use the bathroom outside?

Yeah, the toilet. How many toilets do you have there?

You have six toilets in your home?

Six.

Six toilets. Why do you have six toilets inside your home?

Excuse me, this doesn't sound credible.

No, it doesn't sound credible that you have six toilets inside your home.

I'm running up a report right now.

Since one of you has six toilets, you're only licensed to have a maximum of two inside your home.

Well, how many toilets are in your home?

And be serious, please, because we can shut your water off from the street.

I'm being serious. What is your name, and can I ring you back?

This is Cross. I'm the supervisor at UK Water Machine.

And if I want from the computer here, I can shut your water off from the street source,

and you won't have any water until you get this resolved.

It'll take about five days to get it turned back on.

So you better cooperate with me.

You understand?

I am cooperating with you, Klaus, but I can't.

Don't tell me you have six toilets when you don't have six toilets inside one house.

I'm sorry.

I do have six toilets.

Why do you have six toilets?

You don't have a license for six toilets.

Go to your primary toilet right now and tell me if it's leaking water.

I'm looking at the toilet now.

Flush the toilet so I can check.

I'm needing to go around the house and look at six toilets, Croft.

How do you have six toilets inside one house?

Why?

Explain.

Why?

Because.

How big is your house?

How big is my house?

It's falling especially.

That's disgusting.

Flush the toilet you're looking at now, and I'll run the computer check.

It might just be you have air in the water toilet.

Air in the toilet system.

Let me check.

I've got some postcode.

The what?

Because I can't, there's no water leaking in the house.

You just need to flush the toilet.

I just need you to flush one of the toilets.

A what? A postal code?

Yeah.

Let me look it up here. Hang on. Ridiculous.

You're playing games with me.

I've got you at Luanda North Road, Houghton Lee, Spring, England.

Yeah. DH59NN.

Okay. Sure.

You want me to flush every toilet?

Just one of them. Please just flush one toilet.

And if you have air in the system, it'll clear it out.

Right. I've just flushed one toilet.

Let me run the report. Hang on.

Okay, that's coming up positive.

All right, so we need to know, is there hot water or cold water inside this toilet?

Say that to me, please.

Is the water hot or cold inside the toilet bowl?

Can you please check?

You put your hand in the toilet to check it?

That's right.

Okay, now go put your hand in your face and smell it.

Thank you, cough.

Smell your face.

Smell your fingers and your hands and lick it and suck your fingers.

Thank you, cough.

Suck your fingers and lick it.

I'm gonna

Hey Titus

I was just saying hi to Titus

Okay that was hilarious dude

How does she have six toilets

I gotta call Milkman back

That bitch is rich

Well Hannah

If she touches any of his toilets

He just fucking

How dare you touch the toilet

She's in the two bedroom house with six toilets

music while your party is being

reached.

I'm going to get milk, man.

You know, for the

I don't think I've failed yet

in getting anybody to put their hands

in the toilet. Hey, milkman. Hey, you're back.

Yeah, I kept trying to call, man,

but it wasn't going through, I guess.

I got you. Hang on. Brad wants to be on.

You're just ringing and ringing whenever I call

on the last one. Yeah, I'm sorry. Hey, you know,

so far, I haven't failed yet when I try to

get someone to put their hand in the toilet to check the

temperature. They always do it. Isn't that stupid?

stupid brad carter rbcp whatever the fuck you want to call him is here hey man hi hi would you

ever put your hand in the toilet if someone called you i never would brad i don't think so there you

go that's my guy that's my boy brad is there is there gonna be a phone show next week or is it

lol it's a stillborn oh yeah definitely a fun show tuesday night every tuesday nine o'clock

yay why do you hate me brad carter that person last week to put their hand in there and then

and tried to get them to touch it to the tip of their tongue

when they told me the toilet water was boiling.

You should have asked what the water tastes like, Carlito.

I asked her to smell it, and she caught on.

Is it salty? Is it salty?

I hate that lady for having six toilets.

Really? Yeah.

She has more toilets than I have rooms in my home.

That's bullshit.

All you got to do is go over to that lady

and take a big shit at each of the toilets.

That's it. There you go.

I want to live in a two-bedroom house with six toilets.

Wait a minute, isn't that called a trailer?

Yeah, but they have porta-potties outside.

That's how.

I think last week I tried to tell him to try to get him to tell him to smell if they're

tasted like sulfur, is how I was trying to get him to put his fucking toilet hand up

to his tongue.

Is someone playing with the toilet in the background?

What's going on?

I hear a toilet.

Someone's like, oh, I'll go check this out.

I want to check my toilet.

What are you doing, fucking dude?

Dark Strangler's here.

Hey, Darkie.

What the fuck?

Yeah, that's what I said.

Hey, we got Isaville.

Anyone want to talk to Isaville?

I know I don't.

I do.

I'm going to go to the call.

Who?

What?

Zyklon?

I will.

Let the Zyklon let, um, what's his face?

Deathfox do it, because he's redneck.

He's funny.

And then you go next.

All right, here you go.

Isaville.

Yeah, she won't be.

It sounds starting to get really choppy.

Sounds all choppy for me.

I just wanted to say hi.

Hi.

Bye.

Hang on.

See you later.

Bye.

Bye, Stinky.

I'm sorry you're through to a private house

I know.

I'm calling you.

You're Miss DeVille, right?

Is this an attitude again?

We've called her like three or four times.

She keeps talking about, I don't know what's going on.

She hung up.

Put your hand in the toilet.

All right.

That was E. Seville.

That didn't work.

We'll call B. Seville instead.

Let me start this one.

This is going to be a child molester call.

Those are always funny.

They're your favorites.

Hi, is this Saville?

E. Seville?

Fuck.

She's sitting there in the background.

I don't see nothing.

You can't say numbers.

Why don't you know the word?

yeah the sounds all choppy and stuff guys anyone want to volunteer to drop out at all

enigma you still here i haven't heard from you in a while yeah i'll drop out are you sure

all right that's fine yeah enigma enigma thank you enigma hey see you later man

enigma's out of here maybe that'll help poop on you no it's not helping look at that we made

Disconnect for nothing.

Shit.

It might be on my end.

It might be me.

And I'm sorry if it is.

That's why I was suggesting please don't disconnect on Skype.

What time is it?

One o'clock?

Oh, man.

I got a bunch of numbers left to call here.

So I got to say, I'm going to disconnect Skype and we'll reconnect.

Milkman, I'll call you first, okay?

Okay.

Disconnecting.

Is Milkman even here yet?

Get your fucking phone.

Milkman, you answer the phone, Milkman.

I don't want any excuses.

I'm not playing games with Milkman.

I don't know

I'm going to play a prank call real quick

while I reconnect everybody

listen to Naughty by Nature

here you go

ABC

easy as 1, 2, 3

ABC

you and me

ABC

easy as 1, 2, 3

ABC

you and me

ABC

I love that song.

Hey, bitch.

There you are.

What's happening?

You saw me now.

I reset everything because it was being gay.

That was pretty good.

I was getting some like packet-y weird shit before, but I didn't say much.

It was occasional.

It sounds much clearer now.

Yeah, after a while, you got to reset the Skype.

How many people did we have in there?

It sounded like we had a pretty good bit of people for a while before it started acting funky.

For a while, then, yeah, when I connected Brad and then Dark Stranger and it got really crazy.

And even if you disconnect people with Skype, it hangs on to those processes.

You've got to kill it from the root to the fruit, man.

Too many packets.

Too many packets being lost.

Brent Westwood's here.

All right.

Brent Westwood.

What are you saying to him?

I'm saying, man.

Hey, I've got a confession to make.

What?

So I've been playing fantasy football for, like, seven weeks.

Yeah?

I haven't watched a single down of live football.

No, really?

Yeah, I tried to get, like, a TV antenna.

and it just wouldn't work, so I've just been fucking operating it from my phone.

Are you a cable cutter or something?

Like you don't have cable TV?

No, I was trying to get the local channels through the air,

the digital converter box.

Yeah.

I just haven't done it.

Well, you have Internet, though.

You can get those pirated streams really easy, man.

I'll give you the website.

You can watch anything you want, sports watch.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, no, send it to me.

Hang on, I'll tell you, because I'll forget, but I'll tell you.

Dude, I use that site all the time.

I watch UFC, I watch boxing, I watch any NFL game you want.

Yeah, see, let me tell you what I like.

Put it in the Skype chat.

Let's give it.

Everyone knows about this site, all the cool people.

Are you going to do a Halloween show?

Some people have been asking.

Is it court?

Halloween show?

When is Halloween this year?

Next Wednesday.

I don't know, man.

People's been asking.

That's why I'm asking you for the people.

It's, hang on real quick.

Quick, Dirty Aaron, it's thefirstrow.eu.

That's where you got to go.

And I'll post it there for you if you want to just grab a link.

But I've been using this site for years, man,

and you can watch any sports you can think of right there.

They even got some live TV.

But, like, anytime UFC comes out, I never –

sometimes I go out to, like, the local bar to watch UFC fighting, you know,

and my friend will go and we'll get some beers and wings and watch the fight.

But usually I watch it from my comfort of my own home in my underwear.

where. What the fuck is 6th Midnight Lounge

thinking First Row is not gone? I watch

that shit all the time. Watch the last UFC

fight on there. Yeah, First Row, I'm looking at it right now.

I just opened it up.

My son likes watching

WWE shit. I'll fucking

get on there to turn that on for him on Sunday.

Exactly, yeah. All those pay-per-views

are on here, all the sports.

Any sports right

now, you can watch on there. I've used Movie

2K.2. Movie

2K.2 has TV

shows, porn,

And all the new movies that come out

Like you can watch

Paranormal Activity 4

You can watch

And all the new TV shows

Even the pay-per-views like you're talking about

The moment they come out

And all the new porn movies

I don't watch the porn movies

But if I did

They would be over there

Just movie2k.tv

Porn's pretty easy

You know when I first started

When I first started on Cacti Radio

radio i um someone i forgot who it was posted uh tblop.com the big list of porn tblop.com

that's all i've been using for a few years now and it's all there man that's the place to go

to for if you want to watch free porn videos that has every site listed it's it's it's all

the tube sites are listed they're ranked like which is better yeah you guys post that link

again what is it

tblop the big

list of porn tblop.com

milkman would want that

yeah any guy would want that

i would think actually i think milkman

would be going after like uh

bulgarian and french chicks in the back of his taxi

hey man

don't tell all our secrets now

never get to tell

when you got a woman

yeah yeah hey

how will we finish these pranks and we'll get out of here

because i'm tired all right let me make a call we're gonna do a halloween show though people

want it yeah let's do a special halloween show yeah you guys do it there you go i'm gonna beat

your i don't know what what's the sense of doing a halloween show when we're less than a month away

from the fucking epic thanksgiving thanksgiving show it's always on the thursday man that's

that's that you guys are just talking about the drunk show that's the drunk show for me i get i

I usually get pretty hammered.

Everybody's not drunk, though, like on this show.

I mean, Hooters is not drunk.

We are, you son of a bitch.

We call the fucker at Hooters in Guam and fuck with him, that horse toucher.

Yeah, see, we've got to track that guy down,

and we've got to try to track the guy at the hotel in Paris again.

The hotel in Paris.

I thought he died or something like that.

I don't know, because last year, didn't I go on to like four?

It was like a six-hour show last year, remember?

And it was like just...

Yeah, it's been a year with the Turkish horse.

Yeah, that's right.

Hey, Milkman.

Milkman, we've got a plan.

Milkman, you get drunk that night, all right?

And you smoke some of your medical weed.

And then I'll drink that night.

We're all drink.

All of us are on right now.

We're all drink that night.

I'll try, but I'm banned from drinking on Thanksgiving.

what did you do yeah dude when we have like 20 people over at our house they don't want me

i'll tell you i'll tell it that's what happened he fucked a turkey

no it's just i had a lot of years where i would drink gallons of vodka every day

i'm talking about a literal gallon of vodka i have a big tolerance for vodka and i love it

Wow.

All right, we got C. Seville.

Who wants it?

C. Seville.

I can drink a half bottle of Everclear and still be functional.

Holy shit, really?

Oh, damn.

I can't stay at Everclear, but I drink Boneshot.

Or like you think he can be functional.

We all met at Drake Boneshot.

I've driven a car not crashing a half bottle of Everclear.

All right, Zyklon has C. Seville.

Quiet on the set.

He's leaving us.

shut up

DM Saville

next one on the list in the chat is there

DM Saville

if they ask you know what address you're calling

you got the address there

we're going to rapid fire these and we're out of here

I'll loop real quick here over to the

request to prank make sure there's nothing that looks

promising that we need to get to we should be ok

we're done DM Saville

hello

hello this is DM Saville

hello

yes this is DM Saville

Who's calling?

Yes, my name is Larry.

I am from the United Kingdom Power Administration.

We were calling about the abnormally high amount of power

coming from your residence at Cedarcroft.

Do you know what time it is here in Britain?

It's actually 3.17 in the afternoon.

It is not.

It's about 6 in the morning.

Are you sure?

I'm looking at my clock right now, lady.

It said 3.17.

I'll call her back.

Dude, you were echoing me.

I'm sorry you were trying to get it on the call.

Well, yeah, because you didn't answer first, so I tried to get in there.

Oh, sorry.

I thought I was, like, instantly on it.

Hello?

Hi, DM Saville?

Hello?

Yeah, can you stop ringing this number?

Yes, this is DM Saville.

We are trying to get some sleep here.

Are you stupid?

Well, I'm sorry.

I wouldn't have to call this number if you weren't using so much power.

Sorry, what?

You see, you're silent at the beginning, and they hang up and stuff.

Ah, damn it.

I'm trying to get in, like, right at the beginning, you know?

Well, they're saying hello, and there's like a good three-second silence.

That's why I'm trying to jump in.

Ah, yeah, fucking Skype.

Skype.

Yeah, it is Skype tonight.

Skype is not being good tonight.

Jay Saville's here.

Let's call Jay Saville.

Who wants this?

Anybody?

Aaron?

I'll take it.

Jay Battle?

Saville, so Jay Battle.

Jay Battle?

Jay Battle.

Yeah, call for Jay Battle, and I'll be the supervisor.

Fuck y'all.

Yeah, I know.

I'm writing down Velcro's number.

Hello.

Hello, Jay Saville.

Yeah.

Yes, this is Brent Westwood from the Stupid Power Administration, Stupid Machines.

Hello.

We're calling to find out why you're using so much power.

We're receiving excessive voltage coming out of your system.

Can you explain to us why?

Oh, at this time of the morning?

Yeah, are you running the dryer all night long or something like that?

Washing machines?

Well, I'm not doing it this time of the morning.

Huh?

Well, it's sleep, don't you?

You're asleep?

Well, something's going on in your house because we're getting ready to shut off your power.

It's not the time of the morning, man.

It's not the time of the morning.

What are you doing at this time of the morning?

We're getting ready to shut off your power in half an hour

because your stupid washing machine has been running all night.

Washing machine, really?

No, I'm running all night washing machine.

What the hell are you talking about?

You don't have a 24-hour washing machine?

No, do we have?

We're also getting excessive water usage coming from your machine.

You're a bollock.

Can you hold the line?

I'm not holding shit.

What?

Are you there?

Do you know how to use the phone?

Hello?

There's a weird thing.

synthesis when we call the uk when right when they hang up it says hold the line and it rings

like immediately he picked it right up back up yeah i don't know what that happens i think

i think so let me call back as the supervisor there you go supervisor it's an asshole what's

up with scotland seriously scotland was a cool dude i don't know what's up with scotland

scotland i'm disappointed what hello this is larry i am the supervisor here at the power company

and we've been noticing an absurdly high spike in your power.

Have you been using excess power to grow marijuana?

Do you know what time it is, you chilly pillet?

Mariana, fucking Mariana.

It's 321 p.m., and yes, I'm highly concerned about your marijuana.

Please hold the line.

I'm still here, fucker.

I'm going to come raid your house and take all your weed.

I'm going to give it to Milkman so he can smoke it.

Listen, he was arguing in the background.

We couldn't hear him.

I know, that's why I was doing that.

I knew he was in the background.

That's pretty funny, though.

You called to say, hey, we saw a lot of Spike Power.

Are you going to lead?

Wouldn't you feel really bad if he was in the background

beating the shit out of his wife because of your call?

Not really.

Me neither. I was just checking.

He's just angry he got a call.

He's like, I'm going to beat your wife.

Get over here, bitch.

I'm going to take this hat off.

Here's M. Savile. I'll do this one.

I'll start it rather I should say

Two more after this or we're done

Welcome to BG answer 1571

The person you're calling isn't available at the moment

Please

Okay no answer there

R. Saville instead in Halifax, England

Cooking some chicken parmesan

Don't that sound good

Chicken parmesan good deal

Yeah ask for him for fish and chips

Ask for Gordon Ramsey

Hello

This is R. Saville.

You've got the wrong number.

This is R. Saville, stupid.

I know who this is.

Pardon?

This is R. Saville.

R. Saville, hi.

This is Cross.

I'm calling from the BBC.

I understand you're related to the pervert Savile who had sex with the children, the pedophile.

No, we're not.

We've got a different name.

Yeah.

It's spelled differently.

Yeah, I know.

But I know he's your uncle.

Did he molest you at all?

Did you want to tell us about what happened?

He's not related.

He's a different name to us.

It's bloody half past six in the morning.

Who are you?

When you were in the hospital, did he touch your penis and kiss you and things like that?

He was loud

He seemed like he'll get violent

Same guy

You gonna take it?

I'll start it

Welcome to Sky voicemail of

014

Alright last one of the night

Of the penis kisser how are you?

SF Savile here here we go

Uh yeah so again

Can I take it?

Yeah sure but do the pedophile thing

Don't do the

Don't do the weed one

Boy can you take it

Boy can you

For Mr. Savile that you can take it

Take a niner

We heard you can take a whole summer sausage

Redialing in here

That's what she said

Is this Savile

Do you know it's the middle of the night here

No it's actually 3.15 in the afternoon

My name is Larry

I am from CNN

Are you related to Savile the pedophile

It's 6.30 in the morning

Well, it's 3.15 here.

Are you related to Savile the pedophile?

It's just 6.30 in the morning here.

This is the first time you've rung me during the night.

Now go away.

No, I'm not going away.

Did he fuck you?

Did he put his penis in your vagina when you were younger?

It's 6.30.

This bitch is still sleeping?

Tony, it's time to get up.

All right, guys, we're done.

I'm out of here.

I got a message from Enigma for you there, Carlito.

What's that?

Zach? He said

before you get off Skype to stay on

because he has to talk to you after the show.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Oh, Carlitos, speaking of talking after the show,

do you want to talk about that whole

self-defense thing afterwards or do you want to do it

some other time? Tomorrow or

the weekend. I'll catch up with you over the weekend.

Yeah, hit me up on Facebook or just send me a PM

on the Fantasy Football League page.

You got it. You could idle in our chat

and talk to him. That's true.

Everyone idle in the chat. Talk to him

in the week.

Damn,

Death Foxx would be in there

drunk as fuck,

so go ahead.

All right,

Zyclon.

Actually,

tomorrow kind of sucks.

Saturday's a lot better

because I'm going to be

Godmast of tomorrow.

Saturday works.

All right,

I'll talk to you then.

See you, man.

I'm out of here.

Peace, niggas.

Bye.

Love you guys.

We had to get the N-word

in there.

All right,

see you later,

Death Foxx.

Take it easy.

Dirty Aaron,

see you later, man.

Shit on you.

And Ken,

you too.

Bye.

Andy,

you're going to eat

my shit this week.

Yeah, get him.

All right, Milkman,

take us out of here, bastard.

Yeah, I'm about to start.

Get all your bastards

out of town.

Oh, there you go.

There's another

fascinating installment

of Action Pack right here

in the Madhouse.

Yes, I'd like to thank

everybody for stopping in,

all our friends right there

at the mouth,

everybody for stopping in.

But first of all,

I'd like to thank

our number 10 man.

That's right,

all numbers

were tailed high

for our man.

Thank you,

Lose It.

And thank everybody

at 98 Winters

Rick DeMau for dropping in.

Thank all our guests tonight.

Join us on the phone.

Excellent.

Thank you for all of our cool requested pranks.

Also, thank you.

That was great.

Thanks to Sporty Board and Kibachi and Polaris for all the help.

Excellent, excellent job this week, man.

A lot of gold to be retrieved and more to be heard there.

Come back next back cave year, next back time, next time we catch it.

Also, I'd like to thank you.

That's right.

Our listeners, everybody, for tuning in.

We do this every week.

It's the most interactive show you can find right here on the Internet.

We got the time.

All we ask is you give us the time, and we will get your calls on.

Okay.

All right, man.

All right.

No, no, no.

Anyway, all right.

I'm serious.

That's right.

We got the time, and you got the dime.

Don't forget your time.

All right.

Hermanito, I'd like to thank you especially.

That's right.

Our big Hermanito.

Our brother.

That's right.

Our leader.

thank you milkman yeah whatever he said i agree thanks everyone thanks everyone who joined in

at the end there and thanks to everyone who sent in numbers including rbcp for his layaway calls

lonesome loser for his numbers all the requests of prankers death fox and everyone else enigma

But for the help on the website, Big Tuck, as I mentioned before, working on, working hard on those new graphics for the website.

We'll get it together soon.

That's Fox Enigma, too, man.

Those guys are really doing some action out there.

Yeah.

And everyone, please, you know, hang out and, you know, chill out in the chat room during the week.

We've got a nice little crowd going.

We're trying to get a little community going here.

So when you get a chance.

You're welcome.

Come in.

All right.

Well, we'll catch you next week.

Happy Halloween.

Behave yourselves.

Happy birthday, Milkman.

Bye.

Happy Halloween, Enemonito.

Bye, bastard.

Good job.

We're not playing games here.

I fucked you.

You summed up that stench of yours.

You're calling us white cats?

You little motherfucker.

I'm going to be down at that store.

I don't know who you think you're talking to.

You dopehead motherfucker.

Madhouse Radio is live.

Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Shit on you.

Visitors at madhouselive.com.

And they called them Muppets, which is a British term that means stupid, ignorant person.

I Have Six Toilets – 10/25/12 Show

Calls (40, 1 h 23 min of 3 h 7 min)

Transcript

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