No Sushi Party

I'm not playing no fucking games, man.

I, I fuck you, son of a bitch.

Stop making a stupid comment.

You're out of your crazy mind.

You ain't getting no goddamn dollars.

I'll fuck you all my life long.

You're not perfect.

Why don't you piss off?

You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast.

The missile knows where it is at all times.

It knows this because it knows where it isn't.

By subtracting where it is from where it isn't,

or where it isn't from where it is,

whichever is greater,

it obtains a difference or deviation the guidance subsystem uses deviations to generate corrective

commands to drive the missile from a position where it is to a position where it isn't and

arriving at a position where it wasn't it now is consequently the position where it is is now the

position that it wasn't and it follows that the position that it was is now the position that it

isn't the fuck you guys want tonight what do you guys want what do you want why am i why do you

What do you want, Milkman?

What do you want from me?

I'll tell you what I want.

The fuck you want?

I'll tell you what I want.

What the fuck do you want, Mike Tucker?

The fuck you want?

Get out, baby!

What the fuck you want, Mike Tucker?

Your power, man.

My love is up to you, man.

You're not my power, God.

Listen to how that guy said that, Milkman.

Just listen to how that guy, this guy was like, fuck you.

Listen, listen.

What do you want, Mike Tucker?

He's like, fuck you, Mike Tucker.

What do you want, Mike Tucker?

that was a few weeks where i kept when people asked me who i was in prank calls i was saying

i'm mike tucker i live in tennessee don't get me and i think tuck heard that and he got upset he

was like hey he was he he called me he called me and i was like he called me and i was like i was

like what the fuck do you want like i said that's him joking around and he's like yeah about that

i'm like oh i'm sorry i'm sorry he said come on man let's don't give up my name that's so so

so lately when i got a prank call that goes bad when i got like a shitty prank call i just i tell

them out right i'm kdk from kdk prank calls.com that's what i'm going to start doing what's wrong

with that exactly we'll send that like promoting a friend we'll send some traffic over to kdk

when i have really shitty prank calls over like it's katie i'm not hating on him i'm not hating

on i'm not saying his pranks are shitty i'm just laughing because i think it's funny to think

that i would send random people to katie k's website after their prank called by me and it

it's really like doesn't go anywhere because i think i think katie k katie k i don't know man

i don't think he wants to prank call anymore milkman it's it's a sad man really it has a sad yeah

Yeah, man.

I mean, think about it, KDK.

You know, man, is he just baking out, man?

Like, can I just burn out or what?

No, man, I want to hear him do some prank calls, man.

I don't have nothing against the guy, you know.

We made up, you know.

Ever since he even apologized for fucking with De'Amanito here, man, you know, I backed down.

But, you know, I used to hear that he's falling apart.

I mean, you know, he is a decent guy.

You know, we had a lot of history with the guy.

You know, we had a lot of fun.

I had a lot of hard times, but, you know,

nevertheless, I only wish the best for him.

I hope he gets his shit together, man,

and gets back out there on the faces of the crookies.

Milkman, I'm going to have to shave this weekend,

and I'm looking at myself in the camera here.

I think for a day, just to piss Athena off one year.

Here's a funny story.

One year, I was going on summer vacation.

Ragging my butt.

All right, and I had this much.

I hadn't shaved in, like, five months.

Like, I have right now.

I haven't shaved.

I haven't shaved maybe in two and a half, three months.

This was like four months that I went through this phase.

I'm not going to shave and get my hair cut or a shave or a decent shave for like six months.

But anyway, to piss Athena off, just for a day, just to piss her off, I gave myself just a mustache.

I'd never had a mustache before, but it was like obnoxiously.

It was me with a mustache, and it looked really weird.

It looked like, I don't know, Milkman, you don't know.

because you don't watch uh urban television but if anyone remembers from the 90s um late 90s you

know when michael jordan retired and he and he tried to he tried to grow a mustache you know i

think he still he still has it now but he he never can grow a thick i can't grow a thick anything

thick on a top lip i just don't have that i don't have that it comes in after a long time but it

always stays wispy you know you know and so just to piss her off i shaved everything but the mustache

just to look like...

I thought I looked like an asshole, you know?

I look like...

You know the movie Scream?

That one deputy, the dummy, the stupid deputy.

You know what I mean?

You know what I'm talking about?

What's his name?

John Arquette?

Dan Arquette?

What's his name?

You know what I'm talking about?

You don't know.

You don't watch...

You're not into pop culture like me.

I don't watch TV, I'll be honest with you.

It's not a TV show.

It's a movie.

Milkman from 1997.

Anyway, just to piss her off,

to get along i'm getting off track just to piss her off i i wore a mustache for one day and i got

like three compliments uh the day that i had it on and i was just doing it as a joke i was like

haha i'm gonna piss you off here and people that uh saw me like oh wow you have a mustache you

look good so to piss her off i kept doing it i kept it for like the whole weekend and she got

really pissed off anyway so i'm thinking i'm thinking you know what i want to see in myself

self i want to do the hitler mustache you know oh man that sounds cool because they should you

know they should bring that i was thinking today that's that was uh that's a badass look you know

and he ruined it for everybody right he ruined it for everybody that yeah he kind of trademarked it

yeah yeah well i think that we should you know i think people should bring it back you know

i think that to get over it's it's been long enough like that whole generation

It looks like dirt on the mustache, you know, like a little dirt on your lip or something.

Well, no, I think that there should be a movement for people to take that back.

For men, young men in America should take back that mustache.

And we need to come up with, what was the name of that cut of mustache?

What was the name of that cut of mustache before Hitler adopted?

Because now everyone's like, it's the Hitler stache, the Hitler mustache.

Well, they had a name before that.

Oh, man, I like that.

Right?

Yeah, we keep coming up with really old stuff.

Like our show lately.

we come up with the the whole controversy of the little black sambo story which is from like the

1930s that was like last controversial you know this show will be hot dude imagine if if we if

there was a show like madhouse like that long ago that's what we'll be covering if we were doing

current events you know what i mean little black sambo and here we are now now we're talking about

it and now we're going to the hitler mustache i think but seriously i think it's time to bring

that back so i think i'm going to do it for a day you know but there's a what that automatically

automatically makes me an anti-semite?

I cannot see your mustache, man, because your big Carlito

banner bar is right in your face.

Yeah, I need to

fix cameras. Let me turn off that

stupid big, that little thing. Can you just drop

it down maybe about like six

inches, and then that way at least I can see

below your face. I mean, even three inches

I can see your chin. I just need to top

your lip, and that's it. It looks a little dirty.

Fine. You know, Milkman, before the movie

started, before the show started,

I saw this movie. I've had it

down man for so long to watch and i've never gotten to it that's what it's called the laurel

and hardy he had it first laurel and hardy what anyway listen

oliver hardy had that mustache he's the one who had that before the hitler days

oliver who's oliver hardy who's that i guess you call it the hardy huh who's the hardy who

who's hardy hardy who who was that from when laurel and hardy one of the most famous like

Oh, yeah.

So the, okay.

Let's go back to the silent hero.

All right, so the fat, the fat dude.

Remember the one guy with heavy black hair,

trying to, you know, pull it up here.

Shut up.

Listen, the fat dude in Laurel and Hardy, right?

It was a tall, fat guy.

Yeah, right, right.

The brown-haired guy.

He had the stache.

So what, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

We didn't even name it after him.

What a great example, Milton,

to name it after a true pioneer in comedy entertainment.

entertainment uh laurel the hardy who was the fat dude was a hardy yeah oliver hardy and stan

laurel was a little english kind of blonde haired dude skinny one little tiny one we'll name it

after him so we're going to call the hardy then right that's the hardy mustache it's not the

hitler mustache anymore man we need to start this this is how things start man it's from the root

and this is a grassroots movement here what a party dude they were terrifically funny i mean

if you watch them it doesn't matter who you are what language you speak i mean you can just watch

I just came in this crack up, man.

Those guys were just awesome.

Yeah, listen, man, Milkman, you know what you need to get for your sleep apnea?

What?

You need to get one of these.

I got these.

I want you to look this up, man.

Gunners, G-U-N-N-A-R, man.

I got these glasses, and they're kind of pricey, right?

But they go on sale all the time, and I got them for $30.

And I got these, and they're made specifically for mid- to close-range electronics.

viewing like tvs and monitors you know it oh yeah ma'am eyes do it it's like it's a part of my

face and whenever i'm at the computer whenever i'm sitting here at my my two computers uh it

you know i can't imagine looking at the computer screen for a long time without these things on

i've had them for three days that's what i'm wearing now yeah and i had i haven't even really

looked at myself with them they look kind of stupid these are these they only put three models

on sale two of them look good and this is the worst they look all right they look okay this

this was the third one it was the only one that was in stock when i found out about the sale

cool could look wrapped a little bit man and most glasses like that aren't wrapped

well that i prefer for this i prefer wrapped uh because of course man that's where you go man

that's nice that's higher tech design there yeah got more coverage of the eye and less you know

less uh less off-axis lightning in your eye yeah but i'm telling you milkman you got to get a pair

of these, man. Do you want a pair for Christmas?

I'll try to get you a pair for Christmas. How about that?

You want that? How much are they, dude, man?

Don't go blowing up my hair. They're not expensive.

Yeah, I'll have you order me a set and I'll get you back.

Don't worry about it, man.

I was thinking about it. I got another

Christmas surprise for you, Milkman.

You know, we should do a fucking

Christmas show where we

all send each other something, you know?

That'd be hilarious and fun, man.

Yeah, we should.

have a little drawing huh and we should who wants to join that we should all go to the dollar store

and buy one thing for a dollar okay and then and then we'll put it in uh in the mail or or fedex

or ups whatever is best for you even that dhl shit man uh at work yeah but hey listen man we

should get a few people to sign up i'm in so we need to get a pool we need a pool we need a pool

of people how many people are wanting to participate it's one dollar and we'll do a

a trade man somebody then after we got a pool then amana just take him cut their names and

draw them out one at a time so i'm on the camera man hey that'd be nice that would be nice man

you got milkman buy yourself a present yeah if you get yourself fucker you don't even have to

you know there's always a chance man you know you could get yourself now you should throw it back

in you throw it back in if somebody pulls out no then you buy yourself something for a dollar

asshole you know we can you know what we can we can you're like oh okay all right cool whatever

fine that'd be awesome dude all right i bought a soda okay i bought a soda with my dollar here

and i bought a soda for myself you can buy beer for fuck i got a story for you dude here's what

i do i've been unemployed and i'm working on stuff i'm i'm i'm working on organizing myself

self at a new level basically okay all right and today i was doing some research because my favorite

sugar-free energy drink that comes in a large size they have a citrus flavor and a grape flavor

and the only place i've ever been able to find it is at the dollar store not dollar general the

dollar everything a dollar run by you know an asian person dollar store all right they got them

there and i go in whenever i can and sometimes they have a lot of them sometimes they only have

have a few sometimes i have only one flavor but whenever i go i buy like sometimes i buy uh you

know seven or eight of them to last like two weeks maybe i have one every other day uh to get up

that's a sea light it's called uh run it what's it called i don't have a can of it here fuel it

run it something so two words run it something like this stuff it's sugar-free and it tastes

the best out of any energy drink i had and i've had and it works just like a red bull

and it's one dollar for a tall can a 24 ounce can i believe it is it's uh it's a good deal so i was

like all right yeah so i want to get a large supply of this so i want to get like a case of

this right and i go to their website and i see that they are anyway i i went to make i was gonna

call the dollar store and try to make a deal with the chinese person that works there for me to get

a case direct from him i was like i'll even pay a little extra or something hey man you know hook

me up right so i go to the dollar tree website it's a corporation i thought those people were

all independent those places are like it's a corporation at dollar tree shit man anyway i can

order a case on their website i can order their a case of that stuff for a dollar each exactly

you know exactly what it would cost me to get it at the store no shipping free shipping and they

They ship it directly to the dollar store of my choosing.

And I go and I pick it up with a receipt.

Yeah, so that's amazing.

I don't know.

They have a whole, anything you want to get at the dollar store, you can get it shipped.

You can get it shipped to yourself for a fee or if you want free shipping, you can go pick it up at the dollar store.

So basically, it's like shopping online.

This is what I figured out and I'm going to try this.

You can shop online at the Dollar Tree, everything you want is a dollar, shop online for it, and go pick it up at the store without having to go around and check out and all that stuff.

You just go to the desk and give them your receipt.

You know, think about that.

And they got a lot of stuff there, man, at Dollar Tree.

Anyway, so I'm going to try that this week.

Yeah, dude, and they got very decent prices, man.

Man, they're comparable here to the 99, 99 cent store we got.

You know, 99, everything 99 cent stores here.

Read an article.

They make a killing.

And they're like, they're kind of like better than like, you know, Dollar General.

Milkman, listen, listen, Milkman, Milkman, I heard and I read an article today about

Dollar General and Family Dollar.

they're uh becoming the they're almost as they're almost the second biggest uh employer in retail

right now they're they're expected to hit that at some point um the uh those the not one company in

particular but that whole section is about to become the majority of a majority employer in

the next 10 years i think it's yeah i was reading an article about it like you know they're they're

They're starting to sell name brand stuff there for a dollar in different sizes.

You can get a 14 ounce bottle of Coca-Cola products, you know, for a dollar.

And the Coke company only makes it for this store, which is the family dollar.

That's the kind of economy we're in.

People are like underemployed.

I'm really rambling.

Anyway, we started early tonight.

We usually don't start until just about now.

So no love lost.

No problems.

Hey, man.

Lonesome isn't here.

here we got some requested pranks that we can do i'm excited about that

listen guys i'll be honest with you i'm behind i'm doing some other stuff and i have not been able

to edit the last two podcasts the thanksgiving show from last week was good but it hasn't been

edited yet it is however available to watch and listen to on the youtube channel youtube.com

slash loser fuck i almost said loser man i almost got that out i did loser anyway youtube.com slash

user slash madhouse radio madhouse radio madhouse radio is our channel on youtube uh you or you can

go to madhouse live.com our home page where the request to prank feature is anyway you should be

using that right now so you can send uh some numbers uh but they're also there are uh it's

The live video is embedded into the web page there.

Just head there if you're listening and you want to watch a video.

The video version, live or later.

Let's go to our YouTube page.

Okay, I got a request a prank here from NotMe.

Hello, NotYou.

NotMe either.

We got a number for a Scotty.

Tell him you want him to stop driving around picking up drunk guys in the safe ride van while naked.

He gets irate real easy.

so we got his name milkman and i'm trying to figure out uh he picks up drunk guys in his what

his safe ride in the safe ride van so is this one of those cities that have a uh a van that's free

to pick up drunk people some cities do that milkman you can get a free ride yeah they do that

they do that and like some of them got their own little deal like san francisco's one look man

that's your competition and it's it's free it's bullshit right isn't that bullshit they should

like anything it's free it's like metro pcs it's like you know at&t it's almost free dudes i mean

you know you pay for what you get and the level service is what you get if you get a call i get

a call dude and i'll be with you in your place then in three to five minutes sometimes a minute

before you even got the phone i'm not i'm already outside waiting on you yeah man you like the air

you do that shit dude you're gonna be you know especially on a drunk night you're like the jet

carrier taken off off the aircraft carrier man you know what i mean well that service is not that

good people were doing it um were handing out like coupons to certain companies last year at

new year's like uh you know get a taxi ride free and you know all these people had these vouchers

but you know they were only good for a certain company and you know people were calling us left

and right trying to hand into this you know it's like that's all right but you know you're gonna

be waiting a long ass time and they waited and waited and waited and i said well i can pick it

without the voucher, but finally took them

because they'd been sitting there for hours.

But that's bullshit, right?

That's not bullshit.

Milkman, keep telling me.

I'm going to call a guy who works for these companies,

one of those companies.

Yeah, what do you get what you pay for?

You made me a motherfucking wait all night.

Let him know.

Keep talking normal, man.

Come on.

Hello?

Yeah, is this Scotty?

Yes.

Hey, me and Milkman are talking.

So you're the free service to pick up people

if you're drunk or you can't drive?

You help out?

Safe ride?

What?

Yeah, safe ride.

yeah listen milkman was telling me milkman right it's not reliable though right milkman like they're

late and you guys are late and stuff is that right uh no well he sometimes takes 10-15 minutes

unless we're on a run and we could take up to 30 minutes hey milkman how long will it take you to

pick me up in your taxi it was over an hour and a half man i i know i was i was drunk off my ass

with me and my buddy sitting there waiting yeah well then you can walk well that took two it

it takes two milkman he's talking to you he's a taxi driver yeah he's a taxi driver he knows

and just because he was drinking doesn't mean you treat him like a normal person he's a piece

of shit driver i'm a customer good grief asshole call him back looking down he's looking down on

you he said you can wait milkman you can wait wow hello so your face can wait hello hey yeah

you're i'm gonna call your cab you're gonna pick me up and i'm gonna poop in the back seat of your

your damn cab i'm gonna jump out and i ain't gonna pay nothing yeah i service you off what's what

i'm gonna have a not even from here so that for one this phone isn't safe right and for two you're

full of shit because you're not even from here you come up on the caller id let's say we're not

vehicle if i get done with it he's gone that's funny you're not from here get off my phone

I'm a poop in your cab

I'm on your cab

You really love that prank

What did you have

Yeah god

You bring it up all the time

Whenever I talk about it

Oh come on

What do you mean all the time

I haven't mentioned it in what

Three years at least

It's almost as good as a panty dropper

Listen asshole

Shut up

That's a piece of shit too

Johnny Brennan had an update to his podcast

It's a video

uh that is uh it's like a 90 minute uh question and answer session that he did a few weeks ago

i saw half of it today i didn't get a chance to finish it but man it looks really cool uh what uh

some of the stories that he's talking about i highly recommend you all check that out

i have no idea where to go look it up just look up the jerky boys podcast on google

and the latest episode is a 90 minute video mp4 video i believe um of the whole question

and answer session it's pretty it's pretty cool like they played some of the pranks the older ones

and he talked about making them and he took questions from the audience and answered he

talked a lot about like yeah he talks a lot about like uh where the influence is like you know his

uncle was rizzo he said i think and all and kissel was his other uncle who gave him the phone that he

was using it was his phone and he taped it he like hacked the phone like he used tape and an eraser

eraser from a pencil to hack it so they can record with it it's really an interesting fucking watch

what i've seen so far of it i'm gonna keep watching it got about half of it to go

uh probably watch that tomorrow morning when i wake up all right but i recommend that guys okay

let's do some more prank calls uh someone is selling a bow flex machine let's give josh a

call on his bow flex with a leg extension it's in good condition man these get sold a lot you know

know what is it with that whenever you that's one thing that's prevailed and in classified and stuff

milkman and that's been since i was a kid uh the for sale section sometimes there's a whole bunch

of exercise equipment you know that gets put in there you know a few a few months after january i

guess like you know until march and yeah start watching by about january about february or march

when we start needing

to make some room.

A lot of them is the Bowflex.

You're done with the holidays.

You're paying them big old bills.

You ain't got time

to use that machine.

You got to work an extra shift.

Yep.

And then it goes in the paper.

How much is the Bowflex, man?

How much is a Bowflex?

These motherfuckers are expensive, man.

They're up to like $2,000

if you get one of the fancy ones.

They got like a compound system

and shit.

Yeah, it's got like a crossbow.

Yeah, I don't know.

you know yeah people fucking people like always several thousand dollars and they'll use it or

they'll hang laundry from it you know for a few months and they're like ah fuck it i guess it's

fucking huge it's a bitch to put the the commercials like oh yeah you could slide it under a bed

yeah okay it's actual convenience still you know you're like oh fuck roll that down and put it in

basically god it's anyway so a lot of people get those and they stop using them pretty quick

Remember Taibo?

Remember when Taibo was the shit?

Everyone was like, oh, we're going to get Taibo.

Yeah, I was looking for a little Taichi and then Taibo.

Taibo, Taibo.

Let's get some Taibo.

All right, Bowflex anyway.

Hey, man, I'll tell you what.

Cherry tie is the best, man.

It's nice.

I'm going to do the fucking, the hardy mustache, man, with a bow tie, motherfucker.

I'm taking that.

I like the hardy, man.

Yes, with the bow tie and the bowler hat.

Yes, sir.

I'm going to do that.

If not, at least a cap t-shirt.

When I have an interview, I'm going to go just like that.

Let's see what happens.

I'm going to comb my hair forward.

Isn't that the Richie Randall look?

Just overweight.

That's what I'll be.

Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging.

No answer there for the Bowflex.

Oh, fuck, because I really want to buy a Bowflex now, dude.

Totally want to buy a Bowflex now.

Doom.

You ever play Doom, Milkman?

You ever play that Doom game back in the day?

Oh, I thought the original Doom was Wolfenstein, man, and then it went to Doom.

Hey, yeah, right.

Talking about Hitler.

he's the boss

at the end of the

Wolfenstein 3D movie

the Wolfenstein 3D

hey man

I'm talking about

Wolfenstein bro

that was a

pre-recursor to Doom

that's really funny

when you get to

the end of Doom

when you go in

the side

the head of the

big thing you're

shooting at

it's kind of like

a second leg

on a goat's head

and once you get

inside there

the thing that

you're shooting at

actually and you

see it man

is the guy's face

the guy that

made the game up

he actually took

made a sprite of

his face

holy shit you win the game wow man it's like you're killing him yeah wow you actually get

to see me you've been fighting all that time there should be a day there that's a that's a

game that's uh first of all due for a sequel a reboot and also a movie i think as well that'd

be awesome that story is badass anyway so that came out and then you had doom after that all

right and you had you do i got ported too we got ported over to uh like several of the gaming

existing platforms well doom is ported over to like freaking ti83 calculators and shit man

those fucking those texas instrument fucking graphing calculators that you're not allowed

to use in college anymore because i used to use it and i'd follow with all my notes and they never

check it so you know i'd i'd fucking i'd have all the four you were like you were supposed to

memorize the formulas and i programmed them all into my graphing calculator so whenever the test

started i would open the file and it would show me like you know crib notes basically and it would

take me it would i would have to hit two buttons to erase it like if i saw the teacher like what

were you doing like i'd be like tap tap done like completely gone forever yeah um yeah man you got

you gotta learn do you i guess you can't for one i understand none of the universities that are

worth a shit uh let you use those graphing calculators at all anymore so then that's my

my question what do you how do you learn graphing now milkman right well did you actually do it the

old-fashioned way man you know you have to probably buy you a formula book and you have to write down

the formula and that's it see when i started learning algebra we were doing it all by hand

still i don't know if kids still even do that anymore you think they teach them algebra you

know doing the curve by hand like all the points and lining them up and you have your curve you

know what i mean or the x equals whatever was a straight line and y equals whatever is a straight

line and y equals mx plus b all that shit do you think kids even do that anymore that's called the

slope intercept form yeah so yeah yeah dude that's crazy i don't fucking remember that is scary that's

how indoctrinated i was it's bad that you remember it and it's even worse that i remember the name of

it oh man as i saw it for the 90s y equals m and and what was the slope of the line y1 y2 minus y1

over X2 minus X1?

Isn't that right?

I don't know.

I don't remember that one.

The slope.

Well, then I said

Y equals M X plus B.

That's the slope, right?

No, no, no.

No, the slope is the M, isn't it?

Or the B.

One of those letters is the slope.

MX plus B.

I know it's the slope intercept.

I know that.

I thought Y was the hell, dude.

Don't get me lying.

Slope is M.

No, the M is the slope, Milkman.

X is the X.

Yeah, that's right.

X is the X.

Y is the sky axis.

X is the ground axis.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you got B.

I don't remember.

B's just some shit at the end that fucks it all up,

and you got to figure out B.

I call it B.

Don't you hate B?

B's a bitch.

That's why they call it B, because it's a bitch.

Because all the hard work's at fucking B.

M is easy.

M is your fucking slope.

X is whatever the fuck you're looking for.

And you got B at the end over there causing a shit.

So you spend 10 fucking minutes subtracting both sides and dividing and using rules and all this shit to make everything match.

That's stupid Y equals MX plus.

Fuck algebra, man.

I'm not using that.

All you got to do is have that damn calculator.

You don't need all that bullshit, man.

The kids don't do that anymore.

They got calculators.

All you need, man.

Man, just get an iPhone, right, or an Android, dude.

And, you know, I know they got the formula pages in there.

Do all the kids have iPads?

I have more than many times in line.

You know, they got all the physical constants.

They've got, you know, all kinds of shit.

Yeah, so slope is M.

M equals Y over X per Tabachi.

Tabachi's been in college for 20 fucking years.

So let's go by what he says.

Fucking asshole.

That's fine.

I wasn't in college for 18 years.

You're cool, Tabachi.

Don't worry.

Oh, man.

Well, he's only 24, so you know what that's like.

Tupac, he's been in college for 20 fucking years, everybody.

He just can't let it go.

He's a 40-year-old guy.

Pauly Shore out there.

Like, Pauly Shore now.

They should do a sequel.

They should do a sequel where Pauly Shore is in college, you know?

Dude, is that guy still alive, man?

I thought he retired.

No, he does stuff.

Every once in a while, he's around.

He's actually got an edge now.

now he was uh the he was judging some last comic standing i think he judged uh a few of those

seasons maybe all of them i don't even know that shows on anymore i never watched it i just hear

the results um but he i know he did that and then he had one he was at some place in uh some redneck

town and a redneck jumped on the stage and punched him and got dragged off and it went viral and then

And about a week later, Pauly Shore came out and said, yeah, it was staged.

It was fake.

That was back in 2005.

He does stuff here and there.

I just don't know.

I don't know what's what.

He's alive, though.

I think he's bald.

Anyway, so let's continue and do some more prank calls, or at least attempt to.

This is Madhouse Radio for November the 29th.

Thursday, as always, UK Godfather.

Jin coming on here tonight.

Carlito equals Milkman plus Jim plus us.

Hey, that's nice.

Nice, uh, weirdo, UK Godfather.

He's got the weirdest voice, right, when he talks.

He sounds like a fucking British devil.

That's what he sounds like.

UK Godfather, when you're on Skype, you sound like British Satan, sir.

Well, I like you.

You're a cool guy, man.

I'm just letting you know.

You sound, you got a bit of Satan to you, sir.

It's intimidating.

All right, anyway, request a price.

And then you get a slope.

Why?

We do got to do a small tribute, man.

Why?

And I'm glad you reminded me of that, man.

Man, you know, yesterday was our boy's birthday, man,

Jimi Hendrix's birthday, man.

I know you wanted to play a bunch of, like,

Hendrix songs here throughout the show.

Oh, of course, yeah.

That's very cool, man.

Yeah.

All of us that love Jimi want to thank you, man.

Back when you were 20 years old, Jimi Hendrix died.

So, yeah.

Yeah, we could do that, sir, I guess.

You're right.

I did see the thing online.

It was 80 years, 80th birthday it would have been.

Is that what it was?

Yeah, mine was the 80S7.

Here's what the 80S7 looks like.

Thank you.

Very nice.

Yeah, it's a terrible loss.

It's a terrible loss, man.

And you'll be right behind him one day.

You keep living like you're living.

Milkman, how's your...

I got to keep on moving.

Milkman, tell me about your CPAP machine, man.

How...

So, what...

You got a CPAP machine.

You had to go to a sleep study, is it?

Is that how it is?

Yeah.

Oh, I love it, man.

What do you do?

Do they feed you?

you do you check in like a hotel tell me how was it what they did on this one here man was they

just give me uh they give me a bag of shoes and a plastic bag and all these wires they took and

took me about 10 minutes showed me how to hook everything up you know i have something around

my nose you know one around your waist you got one around your like rib cage and sensors in

different places to check your breathing and see you know how much breathing you're doing

okay then you just like it looks about like a size of a phone maybe it's just a little bit

of thicker, you know, a normal smart phone, not like a Blackberry, and it's strapped to

your chest, and then you, like, push the button, and then that thing will start, like, pumping

and pulling air, you know, and measuring the airflow, and keeping all the statistics, and

you've got to keep it on for, I think, a minimum of six hours or four hours, try to sleep eight

hours, and even if you don't sleep, the whole time the thing's reading.

Then you take it in the next day, and then later in the week, they give you a playback

All right, so that's the apnea, and that's when you stop breathing, and then you start

again.

Wow.

So, do they play you sleeping?

Like, I don't want to watch myself sleeping.

That's creepy.

They're going to show me a video.

are they going to watch a video of me sleeping

like analyzing how I sleep

no no no they're not doing that

this is electronic sensors

this is not a video type sleep study

they do have those

those are usually like done to research people

that have like really

terrible like sleep disorders

like narcolepsy

tremors

tremors and stuff

I have obstructive sleep apnea

the other one is called

It's called Mennonite.

Yeah, that's what it is.

Yeah, there's people who have tremors.

They keep trembling and they rock themselves violently.

I've seen that on 2020, man.

That was crazy.

Right, man.

You know, the Holy Rollers, man.

You know, I mean, they're an offshoot of the Mennonites.

And, you know, of course, the Amish, which is my original heritage.

And that's how you make a pussy roll.

Let's do the next call.

UK Godfather sent the number for Barry at CG Cars.

is one of those stupid ass uh taxis that he always wants us to call in the united united kingdom he

loves calling those taxis well anyway sorry for long prank but i think if you got hold of him

could be funny when i talk like this guys i'm not being stupid this is how they're written and i

write i read them exactly how they're sent found this guy's website a couple of years ago he used

to have a working webcam where you could watch his cars from the webcam but this doesn't appear to

of work now but i thought it could be fun to prank him and say that someone is messing with his cars

and then we got a website to assist with the pranks that at some point had cameras but it

doesn't anymore that doesn't help me out much other than giving me the name of the stupid place

and we got some numbers here okay a landline another landline and two more watch that camera

you might have some information on it too whatever yeah maybe so milkman the c-pad machine

Sheen, does it go into your gullet?

Where do you put it?

Where does the hose go?

It kind of looks like it's about the size of a broomstick.

It's about eight, six, seven feet long, the hose is.

Like a little mask that goes over my nose and covers over my mouth.

Kind of looks like something you'd see, like, you know, they put on somebody in surgery,

you know, like one of those deals, like to administer anesthesia.

Okay.

Looks kind of like that.

Got little straps, and then, you know, they got the kind that goes over your nose or the nose and mouth.

It depends on how you sleep, and if you breathe out your mouth, sometimes you open up your mouth, like, and then it makes it leak.

So if you only have a nose one, what they call a nasal fillip, and if you open your mouth, it doesn't work.

It just blows straight out.

You've got, like, air blasts coming out of your mouth, and it's very uncomfortable.

In case that happens, then, you know, you get the full face that covers your mouth.

So hardly ever do I open my mouth because they're like, you know, they feel it on my face, and, you know, it's more comfortable when your mouth is closed.

and it doesn't leak as much.

Yeah, okay.

And then the machine is probably about, let's see,

about the size of a 16-inch laptop, I'd say.

It's about the size of a shoe box, a shoe box, it looks like.

Okay.

The size of a shoe box.

A little bit not as tall as a pair of sneakers box,

maybe about three-quarters of the size of a shoe box

and about that size in area.

All right, but what does it do?

It just constantly blows air into your nose then?

I've actually got a special type of machine.

and there's there's okay the technology has really come a long way CPAP originally meant

constant positive air pressure okay and what that means is is that you're there's always air going

into your uh air cavity so it's always like the tissues are staying open well when you get really

bad like I do I have to have such a high pressure to fucking breathing that it like almost like

like, blows off your face.

I mean, I can hardly hold it on at full pressure.

Even if I got it strapped up, I can hardly hold it on.

Wow.

So my machine is what they call an Apex,

and mine actually senses your breathing pattern.

There's an awesome algorithm upon it.

It knows when I sleep.

Yeah.

It knows when I'm sleeping.

It can tell by the breathing,

and it automatically ramps the air up.

Wow.

When I first put it on, it's nice and easy.

So I don't feel anything, and no hard breathing out.

And then, you know, as I start falling asleep,

you know, my pattern changes,

and then the pressure goes up.

and the machine will automatically continue to increase the pressure until it knows you're...

And then you smoke a marijuana cigarette, and you get really high.

Do you put it at the end of the hose?

Hello?

Yes, hi.

I understand you have some white, nice kitchen tables and things for sale that are white.

Yeah, could you call back at 2?

Yeah, that'd be fine.

Okay, all right.

I'm on a cell phone.

It doesn't come in good.

Oh, well, honky, right?

right honkies you know oh okay yeah i'll call you back okay all right all right damn it thanks

what'd you call kentucky yeah yeah hello yeah hey did you say to call here yes you're right

yeah and i saw you got these white furniture for the kitchen up for sale yes sir yeah that was

curious about maybe taking a look at those sitting on the table okay that'd be fine you uh you want

want to come look at it yeah i wanted to put my feet on the table sit down in the chair and put

my feet at the table and talk for a while you know with a beer see how it feels all right that's

all right that'd be great is it in your kitchen now or where is it no it's in my garage oh so we

can sit maybe you sit down and we talk about things about why the goddamn system is what it is

Because, god damn it, you know, god damn it, you know, god damn it.

Son of a bitch.

You know, we'll both put our feets on the table.

That's right.

All right.

And how much you want for that?

Seventy.

Seventy?

Seventy dollars.

And can we test it out, you know, can we sit on it, on the table?

You sure can.

Would you sit with me?

Yes, I will.

And we'll sit on the table, the table together?

Yes.

All right, now, I play a Spanish guitar, and I can play a song for you.

Okie dokie.

All right.

Do you like Besame Mucho?

You ever heard that?

No, I don't.

It goes, Besame, Besame Mucho, like that.

You ever heard that?

Yeah.

And I'll sing.

Would you like, would that maybe, would you be attracted to that or open to the idea of

that I sing that for you?

My name is Clint.

Oh, you said.

Hmm?

Where are you from?

Oh, I'm from, well, originally from Nicaragua.

You know, I was adopted and raised in Panama, and then I moved to the United States.

Oh, I mean, where do you live out here now?

Oh, my name is Clemente.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, and I would hopefully, you know, if you have the time, I would like to maybe sing a song for you,

a traditional Spanish romantic song, and while we sit on the table and we, you know, talk about things.

Okay.

All right.

Would that be something you would like to do on the table?

I don't know.

I just want to sell the table.

Yeah, but would you maybe like a companion?

We talk and be friends for a while.

Well, yeah, sure.

All right.

And then the table.

You tell me about the table.

How old is the table?

Tell me.

About, say, about 10 years old.

Okay.

What I like to do is lay the woman down on the table,

and I kiss her all over her body, you know, in different places,

and I examine her.

Did you know that in Japan they have a ritual called the Sushi Woman?

Uh-huh.

And the woman is naked, but she's covered with sushi.

And the men take a turn eating a piece of sushi.

And then at the end they expose her completely.

And she smells like fish.

Okay.

When do you want to come look at this table?

Well, how much sushi would I need?

I mean, what do you think?

I should bring the sushi, right?

Sushi?

And then we will have you lay down and cover you with sushi, little pieces of sushi.

No, I just, no, I just.

And I'll sing, be some mucho to you.

Where, say, where you be coming from?

Oh, I'm in, yes, right.

And have you ever been to the dollar store?

That's where I work, in the stock room.

Stockman at the dollar store.

Yes, I'm the manager for the stock room.

Oh.

And we move the things to the front and we put on the shelf, we put the bananas

bananas and we put things like cups and there's things there uh energy drink called rip it is

there and everything and we have some cold stuff now and we put them out and we put a price one

dollar everything's a dollar and then the people come and you buy it and you take it home that's

how i work that's what i do you come to the store that's what i do i put the things out on the shelf

and you take it so how much sushi would you like sushi also and maybe you can have some of the

sushi if you want because i can't eat all that sushi yeah by myself yeah no i wouldn't be

interested oh do you like anything do you like um i don't know would you like some grits or

what do you do you like black eyed peas you think you'd be interested in the table or what do you

wouldn't you be you want to set up this well maybe i would like both we're dancing around the subject

but i would like both you know maybe i make some i have an awesome recipe for black eyed peas i've

been dying to try out i like to try it out i'll make it and we'll eat it together and then i will

put sushis on your naked body when you lay down on the table and i will eat the sushi one by one

you're the interesting table you know i mean i don't well no sushi party um why do you want to

try at all she hung in there for a long time dude i'm i try to throw off about halfway through

man she did she wanted to make that table go away man we've we've called this the these pranks in

this town for the last few shows now and they never cease to amaze me how kind of backwoodsy

water they are where does numbers come from man are those the ones that death box is fighting for

no that's i got those from a different source okay i got those from and i'm not supposed to

divulge it sorry the arm only the arm no not even the arm above the arm dude above oh shit dude

that's like clear up from the generalissimo's office man it doesn't exist whatever it is it

doesn't exist oh my god so this is like black ops man secret ops it's like fucking yeah black

Black Ops 2, man.

Totally.

Hey, so...

Can you hear?

It might be.

On the PlayStation.

Listen, Milkman, we've talked to that area before in the past, and I had an old lady

there, I believe, who I had half convinced she would be selling me her daughter's, her

grown-up nurse daughter's used panties to me.

She was open to the idea, kind of, for a little bit, and then for herself.

But she doesn't wear underwear, right?

Didn't we have that conversation?

I've had some weird...

He's a commando girl.

I've heard some weird shit in this town with the stuff we're seeing.

My son needs a hospital bed.

If one has one, he can be borrowed.

He fell 30 feet out of a tree.

Okay, I can't do that.

I'm sorry.

No, I won't be pranked.

What are...

Oh, that's horrible.

I cannot do that.

That would be horrible, right?

To prank this, listen to the description.

My son needs a hospital bed.

If anyone has one, he can borrow.

He fell 30 feet out of a tree

And broke his hip

And broke up his feet

Jesus Christ

He won't be able to put any weight on them

For three months

Oh, that's gotta suck

He did not have any insurance

We would appreciate it

Well, that's pretty sad, man

I know a friend that

When I was in high school

A friend of mine

Was in a car accident in the back seat

And he was in one of those full casts

You know, from the neck down

Oh, God

He's probably in traction, dude

Man, that's like

Yeah, man, we don't want to call him

That guy's already miserable

No, no, yeah, I remember he was like, that was like, oh, man, that sucks.

He had to pee in the bottle.

I was lucky to be alive, man.

You know, statistically, anything from six feet or above, a fall, a free fall of a human body could equal a death, man.

That's the statistic, man.

That's an ocean fact.

That's why anybody at six feet of elevation or above, man, we require them to, you know, be tied off

or have some type of, you know, safe fall protection, you know, safety protection,

because you can, six feet, you can fall and die, period.

that easy that's sad man no poor kid well it sounds like he he is rather lucky though i guess

um there is a bright side to this at least you know he'll be he's only going to be like this

for three months it could have been much worse because of god if he would have landed on his

head or something geez that would have been horrible the hip still is pretty the hip will

put you out though hip hip hip surgery hip breaking the hip is really bad that's what he got it could

It could be a lot worse, man, really.

I mean, you know, he could have done this with Frank Hamster and been stuck with him in the same room.

Yeah, well, he's also going to have a lot of physical therapy.

He's going to have to do some walking therapy, I'm sure, too.

Do you think Mr. Adolphus will be able to give you any?

Look, we've got someone looking for a pink floppy seat shopping cart cover.

I also have several different kinds of infant formulas for sale.

but they say leave a message so i don't think that's gonna work 1995 chevy blazer for sale

asking 2600 or best offer 2600 for a 95 blazer chevy blazer 4.3 liter vortech engine 4x4 v6

engine milkman 2600 i don't know you gotta get you i want there's no mileage on here

it wouldn't help to see the mileage dude that's like uh oh fuck that's like a small v8 man

leather interior power windows and door locks runs and drives good has clear coat peeling off the

hood well he's honest the ac hasn't worked in the four years i've owned it fuck that see i don't

want your ac less uh air uh car i don't like that shit what the hell did it take you years in florida

it's a fucking tennessee it gets hot as balls man tennessee i was a slave state man i don't know

you sweat you sweat like an asshole states like that what about alabama alabama too man alabama

oh yeah i'll put you in redneck you're getting trouble in alabama man they'll put you to work

in the fields in the sun we'll be out there you'll be singing little sambo all right listen we got a

number here from big baby baz non and curry indian restaurant in wa washington washington as they say

in tennessee let's call them yes hi i was calling in relations to making an order for food would you

Would you still be able to provide me with food for an order?

When would you like to pick it up?

I would like to pick it up.

Well, how long do I have?

Can you give me, let's say, 15 minutes?

Yes, we can.

Your first name?

My first name is Clemente.

How do you spell that, please?

C-L-E-M.

Clemente, and are you calling Renton, Washington, or San Francisco?

Renton, Washington.

Okay, beautiful.

Clemente, one moment, please.

And you've been here before, Clemente?

Well, do you have papanams?

Unfortunately, we don't.

Okay, you have curry.

You have vegetable curry, vegetable biryani, anything like that?

What do you do?

Yes, we do.

All right, I'll have that.

Which one, vegetable biryani or the curry?

Vegetable biryani.

How spicy is it?

Spicy, Indian spicy, please.

Okay.

Anything else?

No, that'll be it then.

No, that's it.

How long?

Okay, and we'll see you in about 15 minutes.

Well, let me see here.

Do you have any chicken masala or just curries?

Yeah, we have chicken tikka masala.

Okay, yeah, let me get it for, yeah, for my friend here, who's here, my partner.

Chicken tikka masala.

How spicy is your order for?

Indian spicy.

Okay.

And then you have naan bread.

Yes, garlic or regular?

Garlic for both.

Okay.

One for each.

Okay.

How much is that?

Our total is $36.14.

And how long?

We'll be ready by the time you get here, 15 minutes.

Okay, I'll see you soon.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

All right, good milkman.

man. We will call and cancel that in just a moment.

In 15 minutes.

Attention. Put that on the big board.

Hello, Milkman. Uh-oh.

That's right. We're going to get the timer set right now.

I had it on mute, dude. I keep

talking. You stupid.

I keep on mute. You don't hear me.

You stupid. You miss all my stupidity.

Luckily, everybody's happy I'm on mute.

Yes! Alright. Let's continue

with the prank calls and the Hendrix.

Good call on the Hendrix, man.

Yeah, dude. Any

Hendrix tune, man. I'm sure

or probably a man like you

would have a leap of energy.

Yep.

I got this machine gun set.

Long-ass fucking set that he did.

Where's Manny at tonight?

I don't see him yet.

Who's Manny?

Manny.

Our Puerto Rican friend,

the Boricua.

Oh, I didn't know you knew his name.

Boricua.

Huh?

Boricua.

I hear you.

Well, it's early still.

All right, we got...

Yeah, his name is Boricua.

For sale, a 74 camper

masking $800 cash OBO.

it's in good condition all right cool big april putting that for sale let me check the request

of pranks real quick though pardon me oh yeah where we're supposed to call the cars for uk

godfather whoops totally forgot about that we'll get to that now madhouse radio send your request

of pranks over at madhouse live.com if you're using ll or yahoo instant messenger madhouse

radio yay thank you uk godfather stupid hey everyone give a clap for stupid i sent a number

for a place that's closed yay big surprise

oh god yeah baby lay it out man jimmy laying it out jimmy henderson lit his uh guitar on fire

he was filming a commercial for pepsi for uh for pepsi on tv and he lit his guitar on fire milkman

and his hair his hair caught on fire and everything and he was went to the hospital

remember oh my god dude that was like one of the worst moments yeah then he got that's when he got

hooked on the painkillers he got hooked on painkillers and then they found him he uh threw

Grew up and he vomited.

He choked on someone else's.

I'm possibly addicted to cigarettes too, man.

He actually.

Remember they use lighter fluid.

They use lighter fluid.

He passed out.

He passed out and vomited facing down.

But then someone else vomited near him and he choked on their vomit.

They could never prove it because they can't track the vomit and everything.

DNA is gone now.

It's gone.

DNA is probably dried out by now.

but he died on the he choked on his someone else's vomit uh as a result of drug use uh because his

hair caught on fire filming a pepsi commercial in the 1980s it was never the same after that

and he kept getting surgery jimmy hendricks kept getting the surgery on the face remember then he

they say he touched the boys man what a crazy life that jimmy hendricks had yeah that sucks

He's gone, man.

Yeah, him and Elvis had that place, too, man.

I mean, that was amazing.

I mean, it was quite cute.

It was rather secret for the longest time.

So, Milkman, Elvis was pretty big with Vegas, right?

So, wasn't he one of the first people to get paid a lot of money to stay in Vegas at the same hotel and do a show every night?

Was that his deal?

Is that how it worked out?

Elvis, yeah.

Didn't he have that deal going?

Elvis was, yeah, pretty well.

Colonel Tom, whatever the fuck.

Sanders.

that bastard's the one that kept him fed with drugs he got him a deal there man and he got

solid money but the deal was he had to play like you know it was just like continuously show up

but

in time, you know, keep him going.

They were handing him all kinds of shit.

Muppers, downers, and, you know,

the stuff that they had then was first being in granite, you know.

Beaners.

You know, and fed beans and bringing them out.

First in sleeping pills, barbiturates.

Yeah, he was on milk.

He was even on beaners for a while.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's bad.

bad so anyway and then you know yeah then he got addicted to he got addicted to all those green

m&ms towards the end yeah i mean that's that's pretty well what did he mean man i mean he got

so constipated you know all the worst yeah the worst part man is like he went to new york to

film in his uh to record a song in his studio and he walked into the lobby of the recording studio

and he went to go upstairs in the elevator and these two guys came through and they shot him

He got shot in the leg and the hand and the testicle or something, Elvis.

And he recovered.

He was fine there.

And then after that, he joined the Army.

Remember that?

He joined the Army.

Yeah, he was a paratrooper, man.

He was a screaming eagle, dude.

Seriously, man.

He joined the Army, and he was a ninja under Nixon.

He was like a CIA spy ninja.

Airborne rangers.

Them motherfuckers there are badasses.

Anybody that knows military knows they're bad.

yeah man that's true that's true then you smoke a big fat cigar because you can

because you're fucking a ranger anyway and then but then he got shot on a las vegas trip he was

leaving that um mike tyson fight and he got um he got shot on the strip uh the chignite was driving

crazy story crazy answer crazy career elvis presley shit oh my god dude con air man that

That was, like, one of the finest, ultimate achievements.

Yeah, you remember that Elvis was down there when Con Air happened,

when that plane crashed, and he survived?

Exactly.

That's who the big white Cadillac was sitting out in front of the building.

Yeah, he saw Steve Buscemi, and he captured him and everything,

and then he discovered Steve Buscemi, and he got a part in,

and then he was in that movie about the space shuttle, Armageddon.

Yeah.

You know, Cyrus the Virus.

What's his name, Malky?

What the fuck's that guy's name?

What was his name?

John Malkovich.

Cyrus the Virus, yeah, the villain, yep.

John Malkovich, yeah.

He met his ultimate demise very, very close to where Elvis' Cadillac was parked during that terrible, you know, accident.

It's horrible.

All right, let's continue with some prank calls instead of making up history.

Confusing Tupac with Elvis and fucking Michael Jackson with, uh, who?

Who?

Andrew.

Yeah.

All right.

And to Ray Charles.

Yeah, we got confused Ray Charles with fucking, I don't know, with Little Richard.

Little Richard was blind.

Stevie Wonder for a minute there.

Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder were in the same book.

Little Richard saw his brother drown, and he didn't do anything, and he went blind.

And he shaved his mustache and had the first original hearty, man.

It was all locked center.

Yeah.

Anyway, I'm looking for a request to prank.

That's what I'm doing here.

Give me just a second.

Hang on.

Listen to this.

give me a second does that close the fucking page in action now i'm gonna log in again oh

petty prank sends in a number here call the guy who helped make p90x no shit really that p90x thing

and convince him to do a sexy workout video the ceo leaked the idea and you heard about it through

the grapevine and want to beat him to it all right we got his name here he directed a shoot

the star of the workout dvd's name is tony horton the company is exercise exercise workout video

what oh it's beach body okay i was like wait a minute it's exercise read the wrong line there

oh yeah that p90x i mean i've i didn't is there a commercial for it i don't want to watch much

tv commercials anymore i usually watch online or fast forward through the most of it but i keep

hearing the people that are doing the p90x the guy that was running for vice president the crazy

crazy guy on the romney ryan paul ryan does it yeah paul ryan wow paul ryan does p90x someone

else does i don't know a friend of mine that joined the military he joined the air force and

he needed to lose weight and get in shape and he did p90x for a few months he lost he got pretty

fit uh i gotta ask him about that i heard it's hard as fuck anyway but people are doing it i don't

know it's like that taibo we'll call and leave a message and i'll call you back as soon as i can

No answer there, Petty Pranks.

Thank you for sending the number.

Perhaps I will try it later.

Put that on the big board also.

Per the big board, we've got about five minutes left before canceling an order for Indian food.

Here's a GameStop.

Ask if they have a Wii U, and when they say they have it, tell them you want to buy it and that Halo 4 game for it.

Well, that's only on Xbox, right?

That's right.

He says Halo's in it.

I knew that.

But demand that it is on the Wii U, and they must be hiding the Halo 4 for Wii U for themselves.

good point saw news today on um bungie studio they used to make it for um make the hell of

series games they've got a new game coming out called what is it called destiny i think it looks

kind of interesting some shots of it were released today what'd you call it destiny destiny and it

has an interesting bet i think they're saying it's going to be an mmo kind of i don't know

whatever who cares fuck game yes i'd like to know if i could get the wii u do you have that in

I don't right now, no.

I don't know the number for the GameStop kids store downstairs,

but they might have some in.

What about the Halo 4 game for Wii U?

That's what my kid wants, and I can't find it anywhere.

You won't.

The Halo 4 only came out for Xbox.

Well, but he said he wants it for Wii U.

What do I do?

You won't be able to get it, my man.

It's like trying to get God of War on anything else

or trying to get Mario on Xbox.

It's only for that certain system,

but it's a Microsoft-made game.

Do you have any recommendation?

What's the best thing?

How can I, is there a translator that I can put on?

Get it on there now.

Yeah.

No, not at all, actually.

The only way to do it would be to do some serious kind of hacking,

and that definitely won't be able to happen.

How much would you charge me for that in your office?

In mine, I have no idea how to do it myself, man.

No, do you know anyone who does?

No, I don't.

It's going to be really hard if I tell this kid.

So let me write that down.

hang on you say halo 4 is only for all right so you don't have wii u you have ps3 and you have

xboxes i do so ps3 halo 4 is only for ps3 and xbox i'll put down no it's only for xbox what

does ps3 have then uh ps3 has most of the games xbox has but a certain and then ps3 has same

games like god of war and infamous or ps3 we doesn't have them either no what's up no what

What do you mean?

Well, no.

You said no or yes?

I said no.

Yes?

What?

Fuck, that's all that guy.

Nope.

I don't know what's all that guy.

Video game prank calls never go anywhere.

You know?

They're on.

Uh, cause you got some, you got some douchebag geek on there that's too busy trying to act

like he knows something.

I don't like him.

He's funny.

I don't know why, just, uh, when you're calling the, um, places like that, video game places

is to do a prank call.

It always comes across as juvenile

because you know they get prank calls all the time

from kids, you know,

and it would be my guess

the person that sent in this request

is the kid himself, and that's fine.

You almost sound like Madden.

John Madden.

You almost sound like John Madden.

John Madden.

Pow.

Boom.

What's he say?

Pow.

Boom.

Thank you, everybody.

New from hardware.

Ace hardware.

All right, there's a number for Sky

that we already tried that didn't work.

All right, so let me take a look

see if there are

any other requests

coming in

oh is the time

now we actually

hey milkman

it's about time

to cancel that food

I don't think he was

now

yeah

exactly

I think he needed

I think it was bullshitting

I think he was expecting

me to be there

you know

later than 15 minutes

they can't do that

let me ask him

I'm going to ask him

and tell him

to be honest

I think it takes

no longer than 15 minutes

to make dinner

can I help you

yeah be honest with me

is the food ready

or do I still have to wait

well it just takes you

a minute

a minute to pack

when you get here

Oh, well, I put an order in.

I want to make sure, see if it's ready.

I know you're Clemente, and when you come here, we'll just pack it for you.

It's ready.

Is it ready now?

Hello?

It is ready.

We don't put it in the boxes until you get here.

Okay, well, I'm going to cancel, because I don't...

Okay, thank you.

Huh?

I don't want to cancel.

I don't want it.

No problem.

What do you mean, no problem?

Okay, thank you very much.

No, please.

Well, if you want to cancel.

What do you want me to do?

Can I get something different, then?

Pardon?

Can I get something different?

okay then you hold on a second please i got two people ahead of you if you want to change your

order hold on shit yes please what would you like

oh my god

a woman's taking so fucking long i hate getting behind women when they're ordering food milkman

man, because they take so long.

Oh, my God.

It's so annoying when a woman's sitting there

like, hey, I want this, and I want that,

and I want this, but I only want...

Hold this, and add

this. Can you add this?

Hee hee hee. Hee hee

hee.

That's what she's doing to that bitch right now.

Listen to her. She's changed her...

She's adding... How many people is she feeding, stupid

bitch? She's still gone. What the fuck?

She's feeding a

fucking soccer team, fucking bitch.

Yes, please.

Yeah, what is she feeding?

A soccer team?

What's going on?

Okay, sir.

I'm sitting here waiting, and she's da-da-da-da.

How much food?

What does she get?

Okay, when you get here, I'll take your order, sir.

I cannot take your order.

Oh, come on.

Let me just change it now, please.

No, no.

I already canceled.

I already made your food.

You canceled that, so you've got to be here, sir.

I'll get that food, but put something else in.

I'll get that, too.

No, you come in here, and I'll get it.

You're banjoed.

It's very good.

You hear that?

I'm canceling food.

You're a fucking woman.

Hee hee.

And hee hee hee.

And get me this.

Bitch.

Okay, how can I help you?

Listen, don't hang up on me, please.

Okay, you just swore at me and I will not talk to you.

You're a bhenchod.

Don't call him.

Nah.

Gandu.

You just swore at me.

Fucking Gandu.

You just swore at me.

No, I will not take your order.

You just swore.

That sounded awesome

You want to come in

No we just want to download it

Okay Buckwheat

Alright take a look here

We got more numbers here to call

Yeah

Yeah man

I sent you a good shit load up didn't I

No these are my own

I got these myself

The shit you sent me was all in fucking flack

What the fuck you sent me shit in like WMV flack

and shit? I don't want that shit.

I want MP3s.

I don't want a fucking

flack. The fuck I want that for?

Flack. Flack.

Fuck a flack.

Yeah, go.

All right, then I'll give you a serial number

for when this, uh, when it, how's that?

Ah, flack.

What else is stupid? Icecast?

That fucking Icecast shit? What else do you like?

What else do you like, Milkman?

What are all their favorite, uh,

open source things who no one wants to use that shit opera opera yeah everybody likes the opera

don't they i don't like opera i've never i think i used opera mobile for a few months once that's

it it was a shit that opera no one likes that opera shit how about linux linux okay i've worked

with that what about android yeah kazooza bubba says i'm sorry i just really hate gamestop

because kezel bubba who sent in the number for gamestop so you don't have to be sorry it's okay

Okay, but he says he has a thing for GameStop.

He hates GameStop, he says.

All right, we're going to try to call that Scott again.

He gets upset really easily.

He's waiting on a new TV he ordered to arrive to.

He said he heard it was in Denver today.

Call him and tell him it's broke.

We talked about this guy earlier, Scott, the guy that does the safe ride.

We already talked to him once.

He said to get my own ride or something like that.

Yeah.

He said, no, you can wait.

You can wait.

I'm going to tell him I've been waiting.

He was full of shit.

It wasn't no fit minute.

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

Scotty Murray?

No, Scotty.

Scotty Murray is not answering.

Sorry, bud.

Hey, Lonesome's here.

How long has Lonesome been here for a while?

I didn't know.

Holy shit.

I didn't see all of it.

That's right, because we're having chat room service issues.

so if i if i failed to mention that earlier i think i posted that we'll get the service uh

service outages but uh they will be uh moment to apologize for any uh wow we got a pretty good

room here man damn look here's paulie there's my scabby there's chill man there's a bunch of

loans yeah hi australia this is uh australia correct hello yeah this is the cafe is this

this the cafe stupid is it the cafe stupid fucking asshole hello is it the cafe yes this is the cafe

oh good i'd like to make an order please yep i want to come in and sit down and have the company

with me we sit down and how long can you drink coffee for what's the limit you'll make a

reservation or not well is it by reservation do you have just chairs are they made of wood

Are they soft chairs or hard chairs?

I'm just throwing them with a bunch of shit.

It's retarded.

What the fuck?

I don't want to talk to the cafe guy.

Yeah, he's awful rude.

I had an idea and I forgot it.

I'm trying to remember the idea I had.

Something silly.

Purchase over there in the Aussie town.

Now they're starting to really irritate us.

That's not a good thing.

It's never a good thing to lay that on us.

House of Chows in Australia.

What else do we got here?

Ricky's Chicken Rice.

Okay, the Hutt Street Chicken and Sushi Bar.

These are all...

So we've got a whole bunch of places in Australia.

Who's down there?

Life-y bunch of people down that way.

Okay, here's a Taj Mahal restaurant.

Indian food.

Let's give them a call.

What do you got, mate?

Yes, hi.

Let's make an order.

Effeminate man.

Sorry?

Effeminate man.

Yes, so let's make an order, please.

That'll be under what name?

Effeminate man.

Whoa.

Yes.

All right, and what's the number?

Let's see here.

Here. 208-328-0172.

Do you have papadums?

Yes, we do.

How many pieces come per?

It's four in order.

Okay, so two orders of papadums.

Okay.

One chicken biryani.

Mild, medium, hot.

Indian hot.

Okay.

Do you have naan bread?

Okay.

Garlic naan, onion naan, chili ginger naan, all kind of naan.

Garlic, please.

Do you have vegetable curry?

Okay.

And how long will it be for all of this?

About 30 minutes.

Okay.

That's very nice music, guys.

Please put me down.

My name is Clemente, and I'll be there in 30 minutes.

All right.

I'll talk to you then.

Bye.

Yep.

Bye.

He just sounds real chill.

I want to see if I can get him angry.

He don't sound very Indian either.

No.

He sounds kind of weird.

He's like, okay.

Yeah.

So I just said effeminate man, or I'm really loud for no reason at the beginning of the call.

Effeminate man.

Yes, I'd like to make an order, please.

For takeout?

Effeminate man.

Yes.

For takeout, right?

Takeout, yes.

If I could just have your phone number?

Oh, yeah, sure.

208-658-0172.

72?

Yes.

And what name should I place your order, sir?

Effeminate man.

With that?

Effeminate man.

Yeah, sure.

Order, sir?

Uh, do you have papadums? How many pieces?

Uh, one order has two sides.

Okay, alright. And one vegetable biryani?

Vegetable biryani.

Okay.

How spicy would you like that?

Uh, spicy. Indian spicy, bitch.

Okay.

And one banjood?

What's that?

Banjood. Do you have the Indians back there who cook? Can you ask them real quick if they can make it?

We have the Pali's. Would you know what it's made out of?

Uh, it's made out of sister?

Hello?

Yes, it's made out of sister.

Oh, it's made out of what, sir?

Sorry.

Sister.

Sister?

Yes.

Oh, we don't have that, sir.

Oh, dear.

Do you have anything else you could recommend instead of Bhenchod?

Well, the thing is that I don't even know what that's made out of, so.

Oh, no.

Where are you from?

You're not Indian?

I'm from Nepal, sorry.

Oh, okay.

That's crazy.

So, you guys don't like Indians?

No, we like Indians.

We do make Indian food, too, but.

it oh do you think they're handsome indians probably some yeah yeah do you do you like you

sound like you're at the company of a handsome man probably so all right would you like to maybe

entertain the thought of eating handsome food together you just wanted the vegetable yes yes

i do are you like a shawarma are you like short and stupid pretty tall oh yeah are you full uh

like do you have chinese on you they like to order sir or yeah i told you my name what was my name

You didn't.

Effeminate man.

Whatever, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, dude.

Good Karma is here in Utah.

Good Karma.

You know, the name of the show throws you off.

It's called Madhouse Live.

This guy right there, he's rather punchy.

When you listen to the live show, you have to understand not all the pranks are good,

because it's a live setting.

I mean, there's no pre-stating.

I mean, the only thing is actually you set up in any way,

and the minimum is to make sure

that somebody's going to answer

no idea who will call them

I'll be honest, there's some nights

there isn't any funny prank calls

there's some nights it just doesn't happen

and that's fine

the majority of nights we at least have some good calls

some nights we have very good calls

that's the name of the game

prank calls

when you're doing it like this

it's good to be able to do prank calls

when you have a

let's say you're just sending out

got a one prank call sharing it with the world or sharing it with your friends you know you get a

chance to edit it here you might get you know you're not going to release every prank call you

do and here you get to listen to even the ones that suck the ones that go nowhere and then you

get to hear people attempt to do prank calls while they talk all over each other the last part of

the show it's always a tradition now thank you for calling we're open seven days a week for all

All-American breakfast, lunch, and dinner catering.

If you would like to make a reservation, please leave your...

Yeah, fuck you.

All right.

Let's see if Ernie picks up.

You know, we talked to Ernie last week, our friend in Guam.

Yeah, Earn Bob.

Let's check in on Earn.

Earn Bobby.

Nope.

No Earn Bob.

Oh, well.

This subscriber cannot receive messages at this time.

Okay, gotcha.

All right.

I meant to hang up.

Anyway, I don't care.

Anyway, let's see what good old Charlie's up to tonight.

Good friend of ours, good friend of the show's, right?

Eh?

Hello?

Yes, let's make an order, please.

Yes, go ahead, sir.

Do you have number 12?

12 is which one?

The chicken, right?

Chicken, what kind of chicken?

Oh, what is it?

I cannot remember the number, so just ask him for the name.

Oh, my friend just said the number 12 is what he always gets.

I don't know.

Let me check the menu, yeah.

I'm sorry.

No problem.

Number 12?

Mm-hmm.

Number 12 is wonton soup, yeah.

Yes, I had two wonton soups because we're both sick.

We've been kissing and smelling each other's genitals, yeah.

Two large wonton soup, okay.

Yeah, okay.

And?

And how long will that be?

Oh, that's all.

No, not the spicy, just regular, yeah.

Yeah, do you have a house fried rice?

Can I get a pint of that?

Yeah, house fried rice, one pan.

Uh-huh, yeah.

Yeah, and do you have boneless ribs, boneless spare ribs?

Do you have ribs?

Oh, okay.

Spare ribs?

Yeah.

You mean the pepper salty spare ribs?

Yeah, with no sauce.

Like so.

Okay.

Okay, that's it.

So two soup, house fire ribs, spare ribs, yeah.

Uh-huh.

Okay, your name, phone number?

This is Clemente.

Okay.

My phone number, 801-

Yes.

581-

0222.

Okay.

I'll see you in 15 minutes, okay?

Okay, honey.

honey. Bye.

Thank you.

No, what I think I'm going to do

is call Charlie Sell.

I'm going to call Charlie Sell.

What did I order again? Shit, Milkman, let's write that down.

What did I order, faggot?

I was going to call Charlie's cell

Yeah, hey, did you make the fucking shit?

Oh, yeah, I forgot too

God damn it

Two wonton soups

uh a pint oh yeah a pint of house no two wonton soups one pint of house fried rice i think that

was it right yeah all right well that's stupid because they can just pack it up anyway that's

easy to make yeah 15 minutes did i wanted why didn't i order oh no no i got the ribs also yeah

the light sauce right what did she say pepper ribs that sounds kind of good actually pepper

Pepper, sauce, she said.

Pepper and salt ribs, I guess?

I don't know.

Pepper, sauce, ribs, light, sauce.

Okay, we got that two.

All right, so that, Charlie has to make that one.

So I can call him a little bit and give some, I'm going to call Charlie's cell and ask him

if he's making the ribs with light sauce or not.

See if it pisses him off really good, bitch.

That's the plan.

We're going to piss him off good, Milkman.

We're going to make him good.

Make him good for the what for?

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, man.

Let it be the what to see.

i have like 500 plus vhs tapes need to get rid of them selling them all in one big bunch it'll

take one i'll take 130 for all thanks and god bless who the fuck's gonna pay 130 for vhs tapes

you can have a thousand i mean how many i mean how many x-rated titles is there in that file

let's ask her yeah fuck yeah get some fucking flicks from harry bush like milkman you like

Like the Harry Bush.

I bet you that's what's on that.

Yeah.

Harry Bush.

Harry Pussy.

Big fat Harry Pussy like Dr. Lego used to say.

Call's not going through.

Try it again.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Call's not going through.

Let's call the Taj Mahal and see how our order's going.

Well, hello.

I was calling to check the status of an order I had made.

Yeah.

It'll be ready in 30 minutes.

Still 30 minutes from now?

No, now it's probably 20 more minutes.

About 20 more minutes?

Okay.

Okay, I'll call back, like, in 20 minutes to make sure it's ready.

Yeah, it'll be ready.

No, I don't want to stay there, you know.

I'm ready to go.

Okay.

I'm really close now.

I'm hanging out.

I'm reading a magazine in the car.

Oh, okay.

Okay, all right.

I'm looking at a magazine with the pictures of the girls on it, the naked girls on it.

Oh, okay.

And do you think there's any problem with reading the magazine?

I didn't think so either, yeah.

All right, enjoy.

All right, I'll call you in a little bit.

I'll be there.

All right.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

What?

You always ask the best questions.

You think I have any problem with me reading the magazine?

Oh, you're always a great person.

He's like, uh, no.

Go nuts, kid.

Yeah, read the magazine.

See, I got some mean spread of hustle here, you know.

I'm going to play that around, man.

Take, you know, take opinion.

Don't make sure everybody, you know, is into it.

And they would give it.

They'd hit that shit or not.

Yep.

All right, Bombay House.

Let's give Bombay House a call.

Bombay House Machine.

So is the CPAP machine loud, Milkman?

man? Does it make a lot of noise?

It is silent. You can't hear it at all, man.

Oh, wow, man. That's cool.

Yeah. You don't even know it's on.

Barely hear it running. I just know by the pressure

I hold my hand up.

You put it in your ass.

Welcome to the South Lake Bombay

House. Our business hours

are 4 p.m. to 10 p.m.

Monday through Saturday, both on Sundays.

We do not require derivations

for large parties called

during business hours. Get us on

the web at our location

Oh, my God.

It's like, shut the fuck up, right, dude?

God.

Well, hi.

I'll have to make an order.

Huh, 801-658-2077.

Your name, please?

A Feminine Man.

Can you please spell?

E-F-F-E-M-I-N-A-T-E

E-F-F-E-M-I-M-A-T-E, right?

I-N-A-T-E

Okay.

Okay, what would you like, sir?

I'd like one order of papadums.

Okay, sir.

All right, one chicken biryani, spicy.

Okay.

One gandu.

Sorry, what did you say?

One gandu.

We, what is that?

Gondu is an effeminate man.

Did you say?

An effeminate man.

The man that likes the other man at Gondu.

We'll try again.

Oh, my.

He came for off rather quickly.

To the South Lake Bondi house.

Our business hours.

Our poor man.

Please hold while I transfer your call to that extension.

Sounds like you're ironing milk, man.

I am.

Bondi, I'm going to help you.

Yes, this is effeminate.

I'm calling for my order.

Oh, just hold on a second, please.

The man hung up on me, damn it.

Just hold on a second, please.

Okay.

Yes, I'm calling to check the status of the order.

The man over there hung up the phone on me.

Oh, sorry.

May I have a telephone number with the record, please?

Oh, fuck.

801-658-2077.

Sorry about that.

Okay.

What would you like to order, sir?

Two order of papadum.

Two order of papadum, okay.

One chicken biryani.

How spicy chicken biryani?

Might make it hot.

Spicy.

Hot, okay.

Spicy.

Okay, spicy.

One gandu.

Sorry?

One gandu.

One ulu kapata.

One bhenchod, because I know you're a bhenchod.

I know you're a bhenchod.

I know you kiss your sister and your mother.

You kiss them on the lips, do you?

Hello?

Yeah, do you kiss your mother and your sister on the lips?

What did you say, sir?

Do you kiss your mother and your sister on the lips?

Okay, can you hold a moment?

Okay.

I think we've got to get a demo.

I think we are.

He's going to put his mom on that line.

I don't know.

Do you think we should keep waiting, or...

We're on hold.

I don't know if it's the manager or who.

We still have the cancel order from Charlie.

Maybe check on the Chinese order instead while I call back.

Let's call Charlie in the meantime.

Yeah.

Yeah, I order food, two wonton soups, one pint of house fried rice, and the ribs with light sauce.

Um, I want to make sure that it has light sauce on the ribs, please.

I don't want a lot of sauce on the ribs.

Thank you for holding.

How may I help you, sir?

I don't want a lot of sauce on the ribs.

We have your one order of papadum, two order of papadum, and a chicken biryani hot, right?

Yeah, chicken biryani hot, and then one bunch hood.

So this is a restaurant, and you're ordering takeout.

Yeah, and I'm ordering you to kiss your sister for me to watch while you're kissing your sister.

Do you want me to call the cops?

Call your sister first, and then call the cops.

Okay, we have your number. Don't worry.

If you want to put it that way, that's fine.

Kiss your sister with your big lips.

This is a restaurant.

We have business.

You know, it's a business.

We are, like, taking your order, and you just start talking.

Okay.

All right, well, they'll take the order, then.

What do you have?

Now, why were you saying that before, these words?

My friend said that it was funny, that it was a joke.

I didn't know.

I'm sorry.

It was a joke.

Now you're saying sorry.

What do you mean by sorry?

We have your number.

Do you want us to take that way?

We deal with these kind of things pretty well.

No, I don't want my mom to know that I made the phone call.

I'm sorry.

please what do you mean by kiss your sister this and that i didn't know what that means we have

right to refuse the service to you sir do you know that this is illegal you know that this is a law

we have right to refuse the service to you it's not a law it's it's it's a law that assholes made

up like you that kissed her sister on the private parts whatever man i think he dropped the phone

there man charlie was in the middle of that one all right charlie was sitting in the middle of

that i guess charlie isn't working today he's out in the street he's like he's coming home from

playing golf he's playing with the bag of balls yeah he's driving in his audi he drives an audi

he's gonna he's gonna have money right he's got an audi yeah hi i had called about the order the

wonton soup yes ready uh is it all ready for me to get now yes okay i don't i decided i don't want

it i'm gonna cancel i'm gonna cancel i'm sorry i don't want it good ready yeah but i don't like

I like Chinese food, and someone told me something bad about this place,

that there was a man with a bird.

Okay, after you. Okay, no problem.

Do you have a bird there?

We already cook it.

What? We cook it already.

That one there, we've got to save that one, bumpers.

Hello?

I'm sorry about the food.

I didn't know about the bird that's there.

The kitchen outside, not inside.

Yeah, but the bird is making a duty, you know, defecating, and it's got bacteria, you know?

Okay, okay.

My friend said he went.

Shut up, you stupid.

My friend said he went.

Bird flu.

My friend said he went, and the bird was shitting everywhere.

Oh, Charlie.

The bird had diarrhea.

We fuck with Charlie.

Well, I haven't seen a bird with clumpy shit yet.

What is the best Charlie moment?

moment you know you think about it it had the recent recently i called him i told him his his

daughter was in jail in russia and got in good with that one uh there's the time i told him i

was with pepsi he gave me the whole pepsi order and then i told him it was three thousand dollars

or something and he got into an argument with me now we're doing now we need to get wound up a lot

he would get really upset yeah i like it i've got him i've got him a few times where i like

Like, I keep him on for a while, and when I flip on him and I tell him shit and piss in his food, he gets really mad.

Because he knows I got him again.

That's how I got him.

The thing with his daughter, it had been a while since I got him good.

And when he realized it was me.

Yeah, I think he got a little bit of a sun shot maybe on Thursdays.

He got really mad.

Anyway, let's continue with the show.

Doing some more prank calls.

Having some more fun.

This is Madhouse Radio.

Thursday, November 29th.

i'm gonna be taking a break here in a moment i'm gonna eat some protein milkman get some protein

that's right james marshall henry's birthday dry annie says the best charlie was when i gave

recipe yeah didn't i call once to give him the recipe for stir fry like i told him exactly how

to prepare it yeah anyway matter of fact i think let me do one more prank and we're gonna take that

break right uh right after this we need to cancel this order here with the uh taj mahal i think it's

It's been the 20 minutes now.

He was the guy that I called.

What did I say to him?

I just said something weird to him about reading a magazine, yeah.

He's like, yeah, sure, read the magazine, yeah.

Whatever, that's cool.

It's ready.

Okay, yeah, it's ready now?

I can come in?

Yeah, it's ready.

Okay, I want to go ahead and cancel that.

I'm going to have Chinese food instead.

No, you cannot do that.

I have your number.

I had that feeling.

You cancel it, you're going to pay the price.

You're not going far with it if you're going to cancel it.

No, I just, I don't, I don't know that I like Indian food, you know.

I never had it.

I thought about trying.

Don't worry about it.

You will be chased.

Don't worry about it.

Thank you very much.

But I'm going to call the cops right now.

And I have both the numbers you gave me.

I don't have, you don't have permission to be giving my phone number out like that.

Don't worry about it.

I'm going to call them and tell them.

Well, there's a privacy issue here.

You don't give my phone number out.

Don't worry about it.

Okay, thank you very much.

Have a very nice evening.

If I don't see you in here in 10 minutes, then you're going to pay the price.

Well, you're threatening me.

Thank you very much.

Will you still sell it to me?

Are we okay?

The police won't tell anybody.

No, no, no, no, no.

Don't worry about it.

No, can I just come in now?

You're getting this food or not?

Well, yeah, but if you promise I have to tell police, I'll come get it, yeah.

All right.

So come in, pay me the price, get the food.

How much is it?

How much?

What's the total?

Yeah.

What's the total? How much?

It's $42.40.

Okay, I'll write a check.

No, I don't take checks.

Oh, but I don't have the cash. Do you take a card?

Yeah, I take all kind of cards.

Do you take the food stamp card?

Nope, we don't take food stamp cards.

EBT?

I take all regular cards, American Express, Discover, Visa, cash, all those cards.

It's a state benefits card for food stamps, EBT.

No, I don't take those.

Oh, so...

If it doesn't work, I'll run it.

If it doesn't work, I'll take it.

Okay, I'm going to come in.

I'll come in and I'll pay for it.

But don't tell anybody, okay?

I'm sorry.

All right.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

It's worth telling not to call this number anymore, either.

He's going to get us.

We're going to go down.

You're going to get it.

You're going to pay the price.

if you don't show up here in 10 minutes

I'm going to call the police

and you're going to pay the price

alright let me check

Baz says

pay for it with bitcoin

I'm going to pay with a google wallet

let me ask if he takes a google wallet

hang on

I was going to ask you to tell him if he did Walmart gift card

can I pay with the

NFC on my Samsung phone

phone you got walmart gift it's good it's good hello yes hi i have a walmart gift card that has

40 dollars in it can i give you that would you use it yes please come on in would you use the

walmart gift card yeah it's 40 dollars though yeah that's fine that's fine what's the total

okay what's what's the total uh he told you it's 42 dollars and 40 cents but that's fine

If it is $40, we will take it.

Can I just talk to him, please?

I want to apologize.

No, no, no problem.

Put him on.

He's busy with the customer.

No, no, put him on, damn it.

What's that?

I said, God damn it, put it on, damn it.

Put him on, damn it.

No, please.

Please.

Do not use that kind of language, please.

Yeah, you're a bhenchod.

You will be in trouble, all right?

Bhenchod, marachud, bhenchod, marachud.

You are, all right?

You're not in your sense.

That is you.

Do you watch your husband?

Does your husband kiss your sister?

Do you want to see the cops now at your place?

Your husband kisses your sister.

Holy shit.

Your husband is gone too.

You want to see the cops come to your place.

Now?

They always keep saying now.

Now?

Oh shit.

We're fucked.

They're waiting at the end of your block.

Do you want to see them now?

Do you want to come to the house now?

They're waiting to come.

Listen.

What's an unfortunate?

Fucking listen, guys.

I'm going to go take a break real quick.

I got to take care of something.

I'll be back in about five minutes.

Then we'll continue.

That's a hell of a Gandhi idea.

Then we'll continue the Madhouse show.

Send in those requests to Pranks.

Yes.

Thank you.

It's too doggone late.

Online at MadhouseLive.com

Death is a long way of coming.

House Radio will be back right after this.

1-888-278-8509.

You know what, I hope that when you die, they put your GPS in your box and a trap door at the bottom.

So when you die, you open that trap door at the bottom, you check the GPS, and you go straight.

And House Radio is back.

You are bigger than a woman.

You are better than a woman.

We'll always be behind you.

Do not let a woman ever make you who you are.

and just like that we're back madhouse radio second half of the show starting up right now

i am carlito your host coming up on midnight here in a little bit about five minutes

and we'll be at friday on the east coast at least i'm guessing the usual crowd will call

in in about five minutes and start filling up the skype line before it gets too late let's

call back once again to the bombay house no taj mahal rather taj mahal and uh talk some more

about this order that we have changed our mind about yes hi i was calling about the order we

don't want to talk to you can you come here and pick up your food i was gonna i don't have i don't

have that kind of time i was all right i was gonna let you know that you call us you call us for food

we didn't go to your home and insist you to uh buy some food from us all right this is idaho

this is not your country all right you cannot do like that anyway this is not my country yeah

Yeah, this is not.

The way you're talking, I'm sure you're not from here.

No.

So if you can come or not.

Okay, well, I was calling to cancel, but I think I'll come now because I understand.

You told us that you're coming, your food is ready, but you cannot cancel like that.

Okay.

Can you come?

I can call the cops.

You can explain it to them.

No, don't please.

I'm sorry.

You can explain it to them why you want to cancel.

So, you said you are coming in 30 minutes, and after 10 minutes you are calling that you want to cancel the order.

Uh-huh.

All right?

Yeah.

Things are not like that.

I know.

So, you can go to your country and live there, and you can travel on the donkeys, all right?

Please, don't be like that.

I'm sorry.

Do not do that.

I'm sorry.

That abusive language which you talk to me, it's absolutely wrong.

Do you know that?

No.

I can take you to the court for that.

I'm sorry.

It's not true.

Don't say sorry.

You are not a good human being.

All right?

You are wasting the food and it's a joke for you?

No, no, it's not.

That's serious.

What do you think?

You are working so hard.

All right?

Okay.

You are not sitting and drinking or doing whatever you are doing.

Okay.

We are not your kind of people.

I'm sorry.

All right?

Can you come here?

Okay.

Can you call cops?

No, no, no, no.

Don't call cops.

I come.

Okay.

Please come on in.

And then you show me your sister?

Hmm?

you can bring your mother and sister in here i have whole my family all right okay you can bring

everybody all right what are they going to do and they will take care of you your sister and

your whole family all right you're stupid wow well she is upset milkman very upset we can go

back to our own country she says even holy shit she was not happy dude what country are you from

I don't know.

Man.

What did she say about donkeys?

Did she say something about donkeys?

I can fuck a donkey?

Yeah, so you can ride a donkey in your country or something like that.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, I'm going to come down to get the order.

I just want you guys to know, okay?

To get what?

The order, the food.

Okay, what would you like to order?

Oh, yeah, okay.

I'd like two orders of poppin' oms.

Okay.

One chicken tikka masala.

Okay.

Mild, medium, or hot on it?

Medium.

okay all right uh do you have any poppadams yep all right one order of that okay okay and do you

have any vegetable biryani yep absolutely okay medium okay uh and that's it okay awesome and

then uh would you like any naan or anything aside from the poppadams okay sure yeah okay okay all

right sounds good and uh what's the name and phone number uh my name is cross okay cool all right how

How long?

We're looking at about 20 minutes.

All right.

I'll see you there.

All right.

See you then, Brock.

Bye-bye.

Boy, they're going to be pissed off when they make another order.

Oh, my.

That lady's going to be really pissed.

I can't wait for that.

20 minutes, Milkman.

We're calling that lady.

That place back.

And hopefully that lady picks up and says, yeah, I made another order.

All right.

all right hey ken ken's here it is uh we probably won't see 30 aaron week he's hiding from barricade

loss again oh yeah i needed i needed i needed him to win he lost by two points

so i don't have i have no chance to uh had you lost that i would have had a chance uh

if you lost if i win next week um the i only have a chance if eric who coaches the atlanta

gators he has to lose this fantasy football we're talking about my last chance to get into

to the winner's bracket of the playoffs is if he loses and i win and i can squeak in on the last

spot did you watch that monday night game it came down to that yeah no it came down to yeah i i had

two players in i had one from the uh i had sean jackson for philly i had uh johnson stewart for

carolina he had the philly's fucking quarterback and both of my players got hurt and went out of

the game and uh by all rights he should have beat me yeah yeah but falls uh fumbled and he's it's

the eagles thank you eagles thank you assholes yep not when i needed them to pull through one

little one little touchdown one the two little points i need three for the win uh well for aaron

to win and i would have been able you know i still wouldn't be in a playoff so i would be tied

actually i would have been in because uh you would have come up to points uh allowed and i think i've

got a healthy um i got a healthy lead on you on that i think everybody has more points i think

his points allowed yeah i don't know oh it's like my team banged up this week i gotta win

all right

right, well, let's continue.

There's just some prank calls, and in a little bit, we'll be canceling another Indian order

to the place that's already really pissed off with the first one that I canceled last hour.

We've got more numbers here.

New news saying that there's an election today in Rotherham.

Okay.

And there's a new kid toucher named Cyril Smith, a pedophile,

admitted spanking boys for the police, and he was friends with Jimmy Savile.

Friends with Jimmy Savile.

so they were oh boy now it's spreading um we got a request to call any restaurant tell them that

your food tasted like shit and your waiter was rude and when you told them that it was wrong

they laughed at you so in return you put the shit where it belonged unfortunately clogged up their

toilet and they may want to fix it uh yeah and then they'll go check the toilet i don't know

that doesn't i'll think about it i'll think i'll write that down i'll put that on the big board

put on the big board death fox what are you drinking tonight sir i'm sober tonight good man

man. Praise the Lord.

Dude, man, there he is.

How many days?

I've been trying to catch you, man. You sound like you're

okay. Yeah, I quit smoking

so I've been doing a lot of

stuff lately.

I need to get up with you later on

after the show sometime.

I gave you a link.

I got the link. I want to talk to you

off on the side.

Not later.

Milkman's mad because of the channel.

Thanks a lot, man.

Everybody, man, everybody give a big high five, man.

Our boy Death Box, man.

You got it.

High one.

Don't control services.

We have to.

Who controls the services?

Oh, man.

Oh, fuck.

We're borrowing them.

But I'll control them if it gets to that.

We're borrowing them because we get more users if we borrow them.

Hello?

Hi.

Is this James?

Who's speaking, Craig?

My name is Cross.

I'm with the Rotherham Election Bureau machine.

Do you know it's 5 o'clock in the morning?

Yeah, but we have down that he didn't vote today.

He was supposed to vote in the election.

Can I talk to him, please?

Don't call her again.

I command you to put him on the phone, woman.

She said, uh, what did she say?

Call her again?

Brad sent in numbers.

He said, call back here right away.

Do you know what time it is?

And tell me when you call back.

Hello?

Hello, is it James?

Jimmy?

Jimbo?

Yeah, they're just going to leave the phone off the hook.

Give me a second.

I got to...

Yeah, go ahead.

Go ahead.

Uh, in the Skype chat,

Yeah, someone put a pretty funny premise, if we can get some numbers.

They put a classic prank is when we used to call local retail stores

and tell them we saw an employee of theirs jerking it in the car.

Making a play to them.

Okay.

Jerking it in the car, like on their lunch break?

Yeah, must be.

Sitting there, yeah.

Sometimes you got to, man.

Had some mood music on, just going to fucking town, I guess.

Yep.

Oh, boy.

Give me a second here.

I got to reconnect something.

Give me a second.

She was standing in a fucking puddle.

She was so wet, she didn't know what...

She was excited about the whole thing, whatever I was telling her.

A friend of mine told me a trick to fix a clogged toilet.

If you take a shit in the toilet and it clogs up,

you mix hot water with liberal amounts of dishwashing liquid detergent and it'll unclog

any toilet really fast you flush and you pour it down and it'll help that's what he said i don't

know i haven't tried it yet he said he's been doing it for years hey call this blockbuster

group and ask for hdvds oh god hdvds it's a real big crazy shit tell him you just got one for your

birthday and you want to it's cutting edge technology well i want i want to buy a gun

Anybody know a guy that works at a gun store?

No way.

You just called him, but I'm not going to talk about it.

Yes, new rule.

No good stuff on air.

Who are we calling?

I don't know.

Thanks for calling Blockbuster.

How can I help you?

Yeah, hi.

I wanted to see about the HD DVDs.

I'd like to get Scarface, please.

Scarface?

Are you talking about Blu-ray?

HD DVD.

So just a regular DVD?

No, HD DVD.

Okay.

Just one second.

Damn it.

She's like, we got this retard wanting HD DVDs.

I typed it into Google, and it ain't coming out.

They were better than Blu-rays, but it didn't take off.

You can get an HD DVD player for, like, $30, and all the movies are $3, and there's, like, 500 movies for that thing.

We only have DVD Scarface and Blu-ray Scarface.

Do you have any HD DVDs?

How about this HD DVD player from Blockbuster, like, three years ago?

Yeah.

And you guys were carrying the HD DVDs and everything?

We were.

Okay, just one second.

Oh, God.

Ask about Betamax.

Ask about you.

Shut up.

How much does it cost to download a DVD?

Take a shit.

Well, we have the regular DVD, which is essentially HD, unless you have a Blu-ray player.

So how do I download the upgrade for the Blu-ray, then?

Oh, with the Blu-ray?

Well, is it a Blu-ray player?

It's an HD DVD player.

Then you can't get an upgrade on a DVD player for a Blu-ray.

Well, you can download.

My friend was showing me you can download the EXD.

Yeah, if you have a Blu-ray player.

You can download the new memory.

Hang on a second.

The man on the phone.

That's probably what the problem is.

She doesn't understand because she's a woman.

We have a regular DVD, which is basically HD.

You are full of shit.

HD DVD player upscales pretty nicely.

That's what I'm saying.

It was a better quality than Blu-ray.

It's like beta was better than VHS, but...

Actually, no, Blu-ray's better than HD, by far.

No, no, no.

It is.

That's good for a LaserDisc.

No.

That's for Betabags.

I remember when Blockbuster had LaserDisc.

I remember being in a Blockbuster a few times and seeing the LaserDisc section.

The LaserDisc section?

That one too.

They don't even have VHS anymore, do they?

At Blockbuster?

No, nobody does.

Nobody has VHS anymore.

Except for this lady who found and is selling 300 of them.

It would be even funnier just to ask for VHS.

You probably got some in the back.

What's weird, though, is I know they're actually using Betamax in the TV studios to like 2,000.

because of some other way how the tapes were made.

Until the way they went digital.

No, the beta was a higher quality, so they stuck to the beta.

It was higher quality, right.

So that's what I was dubbing in beta.

That's what we started dubbing in our digital systems with.

Yeah, when the digital flopover completely took over,

then they were no longer using beta.

But, yeah, they did beta all the time.

I remember I went to a few field trips.

Every year we'd do a field trip in elementary school,

and one of them was to the Channel 2 news station.

And remember, they show us the studio with the desk.

The bottom, you know?

You need help with your player or something like that?

I got the HD DVD player there from your store,

and now this girl says that they don't make them anymore,

that you don't carry them?

Yeah, as far as players go, we do have two here.

One's a Blu-ray player and one's a DVD player,

but there's no HD DVD players or anything like that.

Or do I get the movies to play in this HD DVD anymore, then,

if the store doesn't have it?

I mean, we carry DVDs and Blu-rays and everything, but we don't carry the players themselves.

These two that we have left over.

I mean, the HD DVD. You're not listening. I keep seeing HD at the beginning.

HD DVD, I mean, everyone that tried to pick up for a little bit, and it's just technology.

Unfortunately, it fell through. It's just like consoles that went through and fell through.

I mean, Blockbuster decided that since it's not making money that they don't carry it anymore.

more so i mean there's just nothing that can be done about it is there one somewhere that we can

call see if they have any in the back uh i know none of the blockbusters will just because i mean

every store pretty much gets the same stuff according to corporate i mean there might be

little stores or little rental places that might i know there's a rental place and uh

what is it stupid obi and midway there's a blowout video they might carry some stupid if you want to

check them out it's stupid i mean unfortunately how technology goes you people are so stupid

it's very stupid that you've done this to me you're making me look stupid in front of my kids

i told them i was gonna get them peter pan on there and now i can't show them all right

peter pan disc you do the porno down there but ask him tell him you got this on betamax play

the porno music for him ask him if he's got a dvd he was still on the phone until just right now

so what right

I'll get you another one do you want to do

the Betamax thing now

yeah Betamax man Betamax I want to do Betamax

I actually still have a

Betamax machine at my house that works

you can get they

they had on eBay the other day the reason I was

thinking of this prank call they had on eBay the other

day the Star Wars trilogy for $30

on Betamax

that's cool

isn't one of the other things with Betamax

that Betamax goes frame by frame rather than

by time i'm like plus one that number yeah thank you please do that i appreciate that um you know

i heard they got doom for betamax also now too ted was telling me ted ted webb you're telling

me hermano hey man the the doom with the rock in it or the doom doom no no did you see that movie

the game it was bad hello astonish with yes hi i call my name is cross i'm in an order yeah yeah

Yeah, it's actually ready to go.

I called your number, but you weren't there to answer.

It was actually a lady, so.

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to cancel it, actually.

Okay.

No worries, man.

I was actually hungry, so it works out.

Oh, so you didn't make it at all, then?

No, no, no.

If you're going to cancel it, I'll eat it.

So you're good.

How come you're so cool, then?

The other lady was really mad about it.

Here's the deal, man.

I understand you're on Skype.

If you're the guy that's prank called all over the restaurants, it's awesome, because

your shit's hilarious.

but uh that's my mom dude and she pissed off yeah i don't appreciate i don't appreciate you

talking to her that way is she pissed off and i understand that you cracked up and you laughed

and you're probably not even in the city and um you probably like you can sit there behind your

phone and you can piss off foreign people yeah because you think it's funny yeah it is funny

asshole there seems to be a lot of people i think it's funny i'd say yeah absolutely absolutely you

have like millions and millions and millions of people do absolutely yeah exactly so what then

What's the problem?

You don't get snippy with me.

You don't get nasty.

Who do you think you are?

I haven't said anything to you.

You're getting kind of nasty with me.

Don't be rude.

Am I?

All right.

Yeah.

It sucks, man.

I'm sorry.

I apologize.

Can I say I'm sorry to your mom at least then?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're good.

No, I want to talk to her again.

Yeah, no, you're fine.

Come on.

I promise I won't be mean or anything.

Just let me talk to her for a little bit.

He's gone.

I don't know.

He says he knows where I'm going.

He's the smart one.

They're putting through college.

if he was if he was gonna cancel if he was gonna eat whatever you canceled you should ask if you

could cancel a big huge plate of cock and ask if you need that too no reason i even own a restaurant

to put him through american college i bet they call they say call him call him you'll handle

this guy well he said your shit's funny man i guess like he knows yeah i wonder if he's talking

about us for like gin or maybe one of those other guys that's on youtube he googled you dude he

He Googled you.

What did he Google?

Cross?

What comes from cross?

Cross Valente.

I didn't say Valente.

I just said my name was Cross.

That's all I did.

Google Cross.

You're probably going to get, like, a Christian website or something.

I don't know.

You get high-quality pens and pencils.

Yeah, you're not going to find anything.

You've got cross prank calls.

What about cross prank calls?

Let's see.

Cross prank calls.

Cross connection prank call.

What's that?

Yeah, what is that?

Red cross prank calls?

That's not cool.

Oh, Red Cross Prank calls. Let's hear that.

That sounds bad.

I want to give you a hurricane relief.

Jesus carries the cross

prank, okay?

I'm stuck in my FEMA trailer. Help me.

I can't get out. This is in Mexico.

Hang on. Let's see. Dirty Aaron's

here. Look, you said he wasn't going to be here. He is,

bitch. Come on, YouTube. You can

do it. Hey, Dirty Aaron.

Loser.

Dirty Aaron. Loser. Two points.

Still number one in the league.

It says in Spanish, there's a

a problem seven out of ten calls to the red cross are false what seven out of ten yeah and it can

cost lives that's what it says here on on the video oh man all that money you donate to the

red cross i don't know it's just a stupid song with in spanish i don't get it fuck the red cross

i put another blockbuster in there you can ask about the beta maxes

can i call the blockbuster yeah call blockbuster that's for beta maxes

You guys talk to Blockbuster about Betamax.

That's old shit.

It's not going to go anywhere.

We'll try it.

I'll ask for a LaserDisc.

I want to do some normal calls tonight.

Well, Milkman told me once.

He said LaserDisc has the best sound, right, Milkman?

Yeah, that was the whole thing about...

No, wait.

Betamax had better video.

Yeah.

But VHS had better sound.

Yeah, well, LaserDisc had the best sound.

Betamax didn't have Belby Digital.

Hey, do you remember that game

Dragon's Den?

No

For the arcade

Yeah, I do

But the one where you

No, that's Dragon Slayer

And it's different

Yeah, Dragon Slayer, that's it

Oh, the video

The Laserdisc game?

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I sucked

I could never pass the bridge

In that fucking game

I think you got stuck

In the fucking bridge

It was a dollar fucking play

Each play

And I could never pass

The fucking tentacle

I saw a guy who beat it on video

video he played a video walk through the whole game i was amazed like god the guy figured it

all out i mean i'm going i'm sorry go ahead yeah what about what about dragon's slayer what was

dragon's lair that was what it was dragon's lair yeah dragon's lair that's like dragon's lair or

dragon's den i don't remember what it was that's it oh yeah wait are we gonna call blockbuster yeah

yeah we'll call blockbuster um as far as i think wasn't it one of the atari guys one of the atari

guys left to make that game i think the guy that did all the animation was like the x disney or

or something like that.

That's why it's so good.

Ex-Disney, that's what it was.

Yeah, okay.

Carlito, do your Mexican voice on this

and tell them you just got an Atari for Christmas.

Oh, you guys are doing this.

I don't want to talk to Blockbuster.

You're all in there.

This is terrorizing.

You know that, right?

He isn't answering that.

Fuck.

Is this Blockbuster?

Yep.

Okay, let me take this one.

All right.

Blockbuster Video, Carolina speaking.

Yes, this is D.L.

We're back at James.

Hello?

Now we're going to hang out.

Hello?

All right, we'll try it again. I don't know what you're doing. You're, hello, hello.

Hey, do you rent games?

I'm calling him back.

Yeah, what happened?

You.

This thing had a...

I'm an old age pageant. This is making me sick.

Talk about your video. Carolina speaking. How may I help you?

Yes, do you guys rent games?

Yes, we do.

Okay, I'm looking for this particular game. It's called Dragon's Lair, and it's on Laserdisc. Do you guys have it?

Is it on Xbox 360 or PS3 or something like that?

All I know is it comes on a big CD.

We only rent games from PS3, Xbox, Nintendo DS, and Wii.

Well, it's on a big CD. Can you look for me, please?

For, okay, what is it called again?

It's called Dragon's Lair.

Looks like we don't have that here.

Oh, okay. Do you have E.T. by chance?

The movie E.T.?

No, the game E.T.

For PS3, Xbox, Wii?

I think it's for PS3.

Can you look?

Yeah.

I didn't even know there was a game for E.T.

Nope.

Nothing's showing.

Do you have Superman 64?

Superman 64?

Yes.

That's a game?

Yes, it is.

Okay.

Don't have that.

Do you have Battletoads?

Battle what?

Battletoads.

No, sir.

Do you guys have anything good?

Excuse me.

I have a question.

Do you have The Adventures of Nick Gers?

Do you need me to spell it?

Is that a movie or?

It's a game.

I can spell it for you.

No, I can't search something like that unless I know what system it's on.

Oh, it's supposed to be for Xbox 360.

And you said Adventures of what?

Nick, N-I-C-K, and then the last name is G-E-R-S.

No.

What did you put in?

I don't have that either.

You don't have the Adventures of Nick Gers?

No.

No?

Okay.

Sorry.

I don't know.

Do you have I Hate Nick Gers?

Can I help you guys with anything else?

Maybe, maybe.

Yeah, do you have a boy in his blob?

A what?

A boy in his blob.

That one on Wii, maybe.

Yeah, it's the one where you feed the blob little colored jelly beans, and then he...

No, we don't have that one right now.

I'd like to drop my blob on your face, lady.

That game was confusing.

He would turn into a ladder, remember?

And he'd turn into a pool table.

I don't know.

I don't play games, sorry.

I gave him the transgender jelly bean

and then he turned from a man into a woman

and then you fuck him

I kind of have to go now

I have customers and if you're not going to be serious

then I'm going to hang up on you right now

if you give the blob a tuna can

he turns into a big pussy

and you can fuck him

you can jump in

y'all remember that ToeJam & Earl game

Yeah, that was actually kind of good.

A boy and his blob suck.

I don't know what the fuck.

I would throw a jelly bean at him

and it turned into a fucking ladder

in the middle of nowhere

where I didn't need it.

I was like, ah, what?

And I threw something else

and it turned into a trampoline.

I was like, ah, fuck this game.

And I threw it out the window.

That's why I started with games

that just were really, really bad.

My mom thought it was a great idea.

She's like, well, I could buy Carlos

this $30

fucking game, Mario Brothers

Mario Brothers 3 when it first came out

I can either get him that for his birthday

or I can buy him five of these

$5 games, it's gonna be great

because I think there were like five of these

$10 games, whatever it was

and I got, he got like, she got me

I remember, look I'll tell you, the shitty game she got

she got that, Boyd is Blob

she got Home Alone

uh, fucking

yeah, Home Alone the game

oh, what the fuck

Game adaptation, always, always bad.

Was that the second one?

Was that the second one in the hotel?

It was weird that the Genesis version was actually good.

It was the first one.

I'm trying to...

I want other games.

They made a second one in the actual hotel running around and shit, too.

Yeah.

I'm trying to think.

I think Rad Racer.

Which is the one that...

I don't know where Kelly Culkin gets...

Which is the one that came with the 3D glasses in the box.

You know what I'm talking about?

Top Gun?

No, no.

It was a car racing game.

That was...

It came with the red...

Mr. Potato Head.

No, Mr. Potato Head.

Shut up, Milkman.

Mr. Potato...

I don't know

I did like Dirty's idea of

asking for big black pussy pumpers

that would have been good

there's some numbers of pups in the chat

she ended up

I think to make up for it

because I made a big

dramatic thing where I was crying

I was like these games suck why did you do this

you could have gotten me one good game

instead you stuck me with shit

I don't care

she returned them

I didn't open them

remember she returned them to the world it was a fucking i think it was walmart and she got uh

what was the game there was this one nes uh rpg game um on an island you know i'm talking about

oh what the fuck was that oh it's like a island adventure tropics it was something tropics

i thought it was fear island or some shit no was the star tropics star tropics there was a part

where you had to put something in water that came it was a a question uh the password and you had

had to go back to the game box, and there was a paper

that you put underwater, and it had a code.

It wasn't Adventure Island, was it?

Because Adventure Island is annoying as shit.

No, that was the one, the kid

that runs around, and he goes on a

skateboard sometimes, and he hits stuff.

I thought that was Adventure Island, yeah.

Yeah, it's this one with the skateboard, Adventure

Island. Nah, I think it's StarTropics.

Look up, I gotta look up, let me look up.

I just looked at a YouTube video, and the guy's

on a fucking skateboard, Adventure Island.

Yeah, that's what I said, the kid, and I just remember that you would

would take do something and you'd get a guy on a skateboard yeah he would go real fast

which one there were a lot you know what dude spy hunter was so many games you know what game

you know what the game was the shit when i first played it which it shows my age but i think it

was like 86 87 87 uh was spy hunter man the first spy hunter when i came out that was a shit i

I remember.

Oh, my God.

Spy Hunter.

Star Tropics.

The game is Star Tropics.

It was a racing game that kept going and going, and it was fast, and there was, like, oil slicks

and fucking...

It had the music.

You have to lift up the back of the truck and get, like, upgrades and stuff.

Yeah, and you can go on a boat sometimes.

All-time favorite.

What about Paperboy?

Paperboy, yeah.

You know, I played Paperboy a lot on Game Boy, on the original, the first, the dot matrix

green Game Boy.

green screen great game boys i played a lot of uh paper mario i played a lot of ducktales

ducktales was the shit i wish that'd be a game that'd be an awesome game though i think i can't

remember what it was but you had the motorcycle you built your own tracks and shit you could

drive your motorcycle around i can't remember the name of it though motorcycle you drove around i

don't know i don't know man i miss megaman games the first megaman games were the shit i remember

I remember that, playing those when they would come out.

I remember Mega Man Legend, that 3D one.

You didn't play it?

The last Mega Man game I played was for Super Nintendo.

It was Mega Man X.

That was the last one I played.

I had one on PlayStation that didn't have any other system, honestly.

I played Metroid for NES, Game Boy, and for Super Nintendo, Super Metroid.

One of my favorite games of all time, Super Metroid, man.

That game, I played that for a whole summer, man.

That game, I got the 100% completion rate and all that.

that i got every single fucking thing nice yeah wasn't it like this if you got 100 another like

four hours or something like that then you gotta see sam was in a bikini in a bikini yeah i could

never do it it was like you had to beat the game in four hours yeah you can it wasn't 100 no it

wasn't 100 just you had to kill mother brain at i mean yeah you had to go through the whole mother

brain and get off the planet uh by four hours yeah i don't think it was i don't think if you

had to do 100 that's impossible dude i had that i don't know that'd be even crazier i'm sure i'm

I'm sure it's online.

YouTube is full of, like, those Let's Play videos.

I find myself looking at people playing 8-bit and 16-bit games and beating them and shit.

There's this one cat.

This guy, I don't know why I like his shit.

His name is NintendoCapriSun on YouTube.

And he does walkthroughs of games.

Like, he did a walkthrough of fucking Conker's Bad Fur Day, which I tried to play, and it was way too hard, but it was really funny.

And I ended up just, I stopped playing it.

It was just too hard.

But I watched this guy play it.

I spent like half a day, and he went through the whole fucking game.

It's like 50 parts, and he goes through it, and that's a game that should...

They need to do a remake of that, Conker's Bad Furry.

I figured out the name of that game, Carlito.

It's called Excitebike.

Do you remember that one?

Oh, did you build...

Yeah, you did build a track for Excitebike, yeah.

They did make some new Conkers, man.

Yeah, you could save it on the cartridge.

That's right.

You're right, yeah.

But they did make a new Conker.

I forget what it was called.

Xbox had a...

They had a version for the original Xbox.

Xbox, yeah.

It was like an HD version of it.

They just, they, I think they cleaned the color palette up a little bit and released, re-released it, but it wasn't, it was an upgrade from the Nintendo 64.

The Nintendo 64 version looks better.

Yeah, it's more, it's more sharp.

Earthworm Jim, for real.

Yeah.

I don't know that.

Earthworm Jim.

I had to do Earthworm Jim in my fucking pants.

Come on over here.

Earthworm Jim.

I farted.

Another thing cool, though, is that the guys who made Conker are the same guys who made Goldeneye.

Oh, rare, yeah.

You never shoot them.

You know, and the thing is, Donkey Kong.

yeah the story that as it goes what happened was they had and it was true i remember watching the

news on conquerors it used to be just be conquerors quest and it was this cute little squirrel story

jumping around the forest and the la la la la la and then nintendo like was starting to get

feedback they were like yeah you made you know you've made like four games at this point already

you had what banjo kazooie they had fucking uh zelda was kind of like that mario was kind of

of like that um uh what else i had a few a few different franchises that came out it was the

same thing this cutesy kind of uh donkey donkey kong 64 was another one anyway so they said you

got to do something different you got and they were like we'll do we're like we're like fucking

70 done on the whole fucking game and nintendo's like no no no you got to you know do something

different we're gonna you know we're gonna so so they basically they took the story and they

turned it into like this vile disgusting story where you're you're playing in shit like a

mountain that's made of shit and then you're it's you you fight a shit monster and there's cursing

in it it's all the shit monster is still the best boss in any game i think yeah yeah there's there's

the the one the one female squirrel you're trying to save has like these big titties that bounce all

the time and shit yeah that fucking that game is awesome man you know what i was gonna tell you

currently don't not to get you know getting off the subject a little bit from the last week's

thanksgiving show cracked me the fuck up when you how you went about getting ernie's fucking

information and then talking to him yeah he even busted a fucking nut he's this is terrorizing you

know that right terrorizing i really would like to talk to him he's unanswering this is the horse

he's unanswering he's unanswering he's fucking terrified he's fucking there's some probably

i'll put some numbers in the scop if y'all want to call more numbers yeah okay yeah i'm looking

and new news got number is reminding us that rotherham had uh their election today and we

We got a lot of numbers in there in England.

Let's call some U.K. numbers.

brent you're there brent westwood what's going on i want to call the uk all right

yeah i know you were there i wasn't interacting much with you hey man what's going on did you

pick a show night because uh the gilly cast kids were thinking about picking a night also so we

Oh, yeah, that's what I was asking you on the Skype chat the other day.

I don't know.

I've been talking to the Cobra about he likes Saturday,

and I don't have a preference, really.

Okay, no worries.

But since it would probably, I would probably have to start it like this time,

like 9.30 Pacific time.

Yeah, that's fine.

Yeah, it's Saturday, so fuck it.

Yeah, you can go.

That's what would KDK go on?

He's done by then, if he even goes on at all.

Fuck KDK.

Yeah, and don't even worry about it.

by that time

if KDK is doing a show

by that time he's playing music

and drunk and cursing

or just not doing anything

he ain't did a show in two weeks has he

no he hasn't

the only way I figured out how to make my

make my audio work is just by

looping just speakers out of the

and then right in the internal mic

so I still haven't worked that all out

just tell him to fuck off anyway

well the other thing is

is that every time i try and do the recording thing on the on the encoder it fails uh whenever

i go to kick the stream so i haven't figured out how to record it either so it fails yeah maybe i

can get with you on saturday or something or sunday and yeah i can i can i can do the settings

for you uh remotely like remember i connected remotely last time yeah i can go in there that

i can take care of for you boom boom boom make sure because i i can kick it on my end and then

go write it and and you know so you don't have to sit there i can be like all right try now try

right now i can right i'll just set it up for you yeah well what's been what what else is happening

is that um it's hard to start the show when you have zero numbers so uh so i gotta i gotta do some

work on my own to get the numbers and stuff i can get you numbers if you'll tell me the day

yeah you gotta come up pick a night yeah if you pick a night then we can start yeah then get

people sending me numbers and shit dude i'm gonna sleep this walk on saturdays i can help you out

with numbers too see there you go so it seems to be pretty good for a lot of people because

it seems to be good for everybody

except for my wife.

You can always just call up

the 86 people

on the internet.

I think I'm going to

try and make them happy.

Hey Carlito, did by any chance

RBCP come through with

any customer numbers?

No fucking Walgreens customers

from last week.

Thanks for reminding me. He sent in

some Facebook numbers. People that have

I've posted their phone numbers on Facebook.

That is what I've got.

I couldn't believe the lady from Thanksgiving when I was being the supervisor

allowed me to call her a bitch like five or six times, and she never hung up.

Yeah, yeah.

All right, so look, Aaron, you want to call England,

and then I'll get those numbers from Brad here up real quick.

All right, fine.

I'm going to post some in the chat and the Skype chat here.

Give me a few seconds, and I'll fire one off.

And maybe I'll play Halo 4.

Nope.

Do you have Halo 4 on Wii?

On Wii?

No, I'll do that.

And if y'all play Halo, you can add me on that.

No, Halo 4 on Wii.

Y'all seem like no match.

Yeah, I don't have an Xbox, so no, I have not.

I played 1 through 3.

Halo 4 through 4.

I've been debating on buying an Xbox 60.

Oh, I do that.

They got a $99 version right now.

Speaking of gaming, did you watch the EVE Online New Eden Open Tournament at all?

No.

matches no no i haven't no i haven't i haven't done a i didn't play any eve i still got that

recurring uh i haven't been playing it though why what's up what happened was it was there

craziness going on a ten thousand dollar purse tournament a purse you got a purse of a ten

thousand dollars that's kind of like a dolce gabbana purse nice that's like a yeah like a

coach purse man my wife wants one of those for christmas i'm gonna get one just get her a knockout

It's about a $99 version of an Xbox, so I was just going to tell you this real quick.

It's a, if you tell them you'll pay for two years live and commit to it and pay for the first month,

they'll give you a coupon to get one of those two 50 gigs with two free games for $99 at GameStop.

Wow. No, no thanks. I don't want to commit to two years of Xbox Live.

I'd use it anyway.

Nah, I just like my PS3.

I'm a PC guy.

Is there a difference between...

PS3 and Xbox when it comes to the graphics?

There isn't really, right?

I like the Xbox 360

better than the PlayStation 3.

Well, here's the thing, though. Xbox is 720p.

PS3 is 1080.

You can get 1080 on an Xbox.

What are you talking about?

You can get 3D.

Are you talking

1080i or 1080p?

Hey, you can get 1080p on Xbox.

I can get

Yeah, you can get 10 UDP on Xbox.

They have HDMI cables now, dude, the new models.

All right, Aaron wants to do a prank call.

Quiet, bud.

Shut up.

Enough.

First one on the list.

James Bentley, James Bentley.

Who's taking it?

Aaron.

Okay, I'll dirty Aaron go.

Yes, hello there.

Hello.

Hello, yes, this is James.

Yes, this is Brent.

Is this James Bentley at 50 Oliver's Way?

Is this James Bentley?

My name is Brent Westwood.

And where are you calling from?

The United States.

Yeah.

All right.

Can I ask you some questions now?

Oh, I don't really care about that.

So my friends think that the Xbox has better graphics than the PlayStation 3.

What do you think?

No?

What do you got?

You like play online games, like PC or what?

No, man.

That was good.

That was pretty good.

We lost fucking Milkman and the Calder.

Son of a bitch.

Yeah, Milkman's mad.

Oh, I'm back.

I think he's an EVE Online player.

He's an EVE Online player.

what happened with that dust that dust game that dust shit what happened with that

what game dust dust the one that was supposed to be tied with eve

zyclon what happened with that it's on schedule for release i don't know when it's coming out

hey we got you back so it's on schedule to be released but no one's really all right whatever

We lose Skype, or I just got dropped?

You got dropped.

We picked you up.

I have a quick question for Milkman about his CPAP machine.

Do you also take that off your face and put it on your balls like an athletic cup to feel the pressure?

Oh, yeah.

That has to be Ken, man.

I know Ted would never have that.

Actually, what is really great, like if you get constipated,

you just insert a nozzle and become an anal inflator, man.

You just blast out a gasser, and you're in business, man.

And then you do some space docking after that?

Space docking.

And honestly, though, Milkman, have you considered doing the surgery?

Because I know I was diagnosed, but the surgery fixed it.

Well, the sex change...

Surgery, dude, I'll tell you, a lot of people think surgery is an answer to a lot of things,

but I've actually talked to several people who've had it done.

It grows back, man.

The tissue in your throat, like around where the epiglottis,

that little punch of eucalyptus thing there hanging down,

and that tissue in the epiglottis will stretch back out,

and it'll come back anyway.

So it has a lot to do with the physiological design of your neck.

I've got almost no neck.

I'm huge shoulders and a giant head,

so that's why I'm almost occasionally fat.

What the fuck is stretch-a-back out?

Stretch-a-back?

UK Godfather is here.

UK Godfather, the British Satan is here.

Hey.

British creepy fucker.

Hey, British creepy man.

Hey, where's our pentagram?

I was really excited to hear fucking the white devil come out in the earlier fucking call.

Oh, the white devil's starting to come out again, yeah.

Hey, James, recall?

James Bentley wants to talk about computer games.

Yeah, here we go.

James Bentley.

Does the white devil have his french fries?

No, quite.

French fries.

Who's calling?

Who's taking this one?

Aaron.

I got this.

Salami nipples.

James? Yes, hello there. Is James there?

Mr. Bentley, this is Brent Westwood calling.

Mr. Having a problem with your water?

Hello? Wanker?

He ain't talking. He's not talking.

Let's call somebody else, I think.

James Boner.

I'm gonna jerk off on his wife's face.

Wow.

Very nasty. Very nasty of you.

That's just how I roll.

Hey, you monster.

I want to speak with James, please.

This is Cross, you monster.

monster you're an animal woman put james on why'd you do that man

who's the next one she's gonna put james on you to come and say fuck yes we're supposed to ask

about the election did they like the president yeah the election yeah yeah yes yes the election

yes it's james hello is it james it's james is this james okay hi yes this is larry i'm from

from the Water Authority.

I'm calling because we have a really large amount

of black water coming from your facility.

Hello?

Yay, he hung up.

Yay, Zyklon.

Yay.

I heard, like, nobody was talking,

so I just ran with it.

All right.

That's the quickest hang-up of the night.

What the hell's the problem?

Okay, Godfather, you're so stupid, UK Godfather.

Why do you do that?

Take the microphone out of your mouth.

What do you breathe like that, man?

You can breathe like that.

Take it out of your ass.

In the UK.

I'm not breathing.

Yeah, bye.

You do it again, I'm cutting you off.

I'll tell you what, since I quit smoking, I breathe so good.

That's good, man.

Good for you.

That's what she said.

Yeah, it was hard at first, but it's easy now.

James, shut up.

Talk to James.

Hi, James.

James.

Like 25, five in the morning.

Yeah, I know.

I have down here in the computer that you didn't vote today.

There was an election and you didn't participate.

I think you did.

Yeah, did you not vote in the election today?

What?

I'm printing ballots.

All the ballots are printing.

I don't know what happened there.

What the fuck am I trying to do?

The dot matrix went crazy.

Sorry about that.

That was really loud.

Can I do one, please?

Yes, hello?

Hi, can I do one?

Hello?

Yes, can I do one, please?

Oh, God, shut up.

Hello, James.

Oh, do yourself, UK Godfather.

Why don't you do yourself?

Huh?

In the middle of a call, can I do one?

Right in the middle of trying to do a call.

Think before you talk, UK Godfather.

Think about it, what you're doing.

In your brain, put it in your head and think about it first.

7-2-2-9-2-7

Anyway guys,

it's been a happy job show.

I actually have to go ahead and go.

Okay, bye.

Talk to y'all next week.

Bye.

Okay, bye.

Echo fucker.

Bye.

In a fucking windstorm over there.

Jesus Christ.

Nice. Both of those. They breathe with their mouth, don't they?

Fucking Darth Vader on the other line.

Come on, UK Godfather. Stop breathing like that, man.

I'm not.

Yeah, you are. You're breathing into the stupid mic. We can hear it.

When you're not talking, mute yourself.

Yeah. We got a Pantech cell phone, AT&T. It slides up to the full keyboard. Everything works.

This is posted by Death Fox. Death Fox. Yeah.

The name's right above it.

The name is Chris. Thank you.

Good night, man.

chris lolly posted that's his name yes sir shut up i hate you i hate uk godfather i hate him

hello chris lolly is it chris yes you have a pantech cell phone 18 team machine that slides

up and the keys are there and you put you can talk on it yes okay and you're how much you're

You're asking for $30?

I do.

Is it GSM or APP?

Hello?

Is it GSM or APP?

Stupid.

Yes, it's APP.

Is it APP, AT&T, or LTE?

I am.

Tell that stupid kid to shut up.

Say what?

What, do you have an autistic kid?

Hello?

Do you have a stupid autistic kid?

Hello?

What, do you have a stupid autistic kid?

I am, thank you, sir.

What do you have a stupid autistic kid?

Who the fuck is this?

this well there's a stupid kid yelling and i'm trying to buy the cell phone from you

and you guys what is that kid autistic i don't appreciate you calling my kid stupid

she is not autistic does she have asperger's does she what's her why is she crying does she

she pee the bed who the fuck is this because i think you called my number before no i'm looking

to get the phone yeah but you don't need to be judging other people's kids because they're crying

I don't appreciate that.

I don't care if you're trying to buy my phone or not.

Why is she crying?

Is she okay?

Does she need something?

Yeah, she's okay.

Does she need her bottle?

Hmm?

That's got to be your daughter, isn't it?

No, there's a fucking echo.

Where's the echo from?

I don't know.

Let's redo the call, all right?

Shits, bye.

Redo the call.

All right.

Shut up.

All right, just a moment while I get everyone else here.

Got to get Milkman back on.

Have you ever noticed

I always find them angry rednecks

I don't know how

That guy

I don't appreciate you calling my kid stupid

He didn't call him stupid

He called Roxas stupid

That triggers a lot of shit

I think wasn't it Brent that told someone

To shut their fucking kids up

And then someone was like shut your fucking dogs up

Who were obviously hurt

But he can't say it

He's a bad father

There's another one

Two inch TV with a bulb going on

Hey Mr. Autistic

King of the autistics

Yay Milkman

I'm reconnecting everyone on Skype real quick here

That actually wouldn't be a bad

A bad deal there for that projection TV

For a hundred bucks

It probably cost a hundred for a bulb

It wouldn't be a bad deal

Was it just the four of us

Milkman, Ken, Aaron and Deathfather

I think that's it

Yeah you banished UK Godfather

They're in Zyklon.

Okay, good.

For mouth breathing.

Mouth breathing.

There was one more, but I forget who it was.

All right, well, let's continue and do pranks then.

They'll have to call back.

Wait their turn.

Lonesome's going to get more numbers in the UK.

We'll get to those.

I'll look up some more in the US, some more potentially angry people.

A lot of them are angry if you just tell them to shut the fuck up at any point.

Yeah, no, that seems to work out pretty good.

Oh I remember

I was watching this

I watched this documentary

About some Indian people

It's about some kids that burned

Dead bodies

Something fucking weird anyway

But they kept saying

All the kids

I kept

They would say motherfucker

Like it was subtitled obviously

But they said marucho

Like fucking a hundred times

These kids

I was kind of giggling to myself

Oh that's cool

So you know what it means

I started repeating that to a kid

He's an Indian kid

to play this fucking online game with.

I was like, what's that mean, buddy?

He just starts fucking LOL.

He's laughing.

He's like, where the fuck did you learn that word at?

Yeah, I said it to some of the guys at work.

They thought it was pretty funny.

I thought we were trying to call your work.

Your old job.

Not yet, not yet.

I have a plan.

That's too soon.

Too soon, man, too soon.

James Coggan in the UK.

Who wants to call the UK?

Anybody other than me?

They're never funny to me.

They're never funny

Like you don't like them

Or they're not good when you do them

No they're just not

They don't ever do nothing

They just get snotty

I'll try one

Hello

Hello is James about

Who the hell are you

Ringing at this time

My name is Brent Westwood and I got a lot of shit to do

I was going to say I'm Kent Eastwood

Kent Eastwood.

I'm ready.

I'm Kent Eastwood.

I'm your cousin from the east.

Kent Eastwood.

Yeah, I'm your cousin from the east, man.

Who the hell are you?

Well, I'm blood out.

All right.

I'm Henry the 8th, I am.

Alan David, then it is.

Hey, Governor.

David.

Or David Allen.

Alan David.

David Allen.

Who's going to do it?

Let me do it.

Let me start.

Okay.

Welcome to voicemail.

No, I don't have voicemail.

The person you have called is unavailable.

Please leave a message.

No.

Get one of them to start singing Henry VIII I Am.

I bet you can.

Henry VIII I Am?

Yeah, I'm Henry VIII I Am.

If you get one to start singing it with you.

I don't know musicals, dude.

Why do you know musicals, man?

That's pretty gay.

Offense.

Answer here.

Moving right along.

Next on the list.

Call out James Coogan.

James Coogan?

All right, we'll do that.

Here we go, James Coogan

Because we've got a lot of shit to do tonight

Call that dude with his kid back

I've got a lot of shit to do

Oh, they left it off the hook, these people, I think

Oh, they've been prank called before

Yeah, yeah

Or they just know

They're smart ones

You've called my house before, haven't you?

We should call that lady back

You know, the Kmart lady

I want her just to see

To know, did she go to Kmart?

Like, what happened?

I saved that number to that brothel

I'm just thinking about

a manager calling

for one of those stores

like that.

Welcome to Bulk Mail.

The person you have called

is unavailable.

Calling the layaway customer

and saying,

I got a lot of...

It cracks me every time

I think about that.

You're like,

I got a lot of shoe.

That's the...

Hey, that's that brothel

we called on Thanksgiving

that whore was on the phone.

The whore?

Yeah.

And sometimes

if you call late at night

you can get a dude,

the legless guy on the phone

that's really funny.

Yeah, we called for the

legless guy last time

and it was some whore.

Yeah, but she talked to you a while, didn't she?

Yeah, but she wasn't very funny.

I think we should make

the movie Dirty Work the official

Madhouse Radio movie.

Dirty Work with Artie Lang

and fucking Norm Macdonald?

Norm Macdonald and

Chris Farley.

That's his last movie.

Yeah, I think they had to truck

the cocaine in to get that movie

done with Artie Lang and fucking

they must have had speedballs on.

can far away man you imagine far can you imagine uh lang already lang yeah just trying to get it

through you know oh my god yes yeah i remember about about two months before he died i read a

magazine article on my lunch break um in us magazine and this reporter spent a weekend with

chris farley this is about maybe three months i'd say maybe four before he died and he he said

the guy he was like he was talking about how he was using cocaine he was sweating all the time

and jumpy he was licking dollar bills at some point it was like the guy followed up for a

weekend and like it was like he went to lakers game and and he was he started yelling at shaq

and shaq told him to shut up and and like all the people in the lakers game were like yeah

chris farley you're you're awesome and then he he's he got some playboy models at his house and

they were doing coke in the hot tub at the end of it and literally like three months after that

the guy basically left left you thinking like uh chris farley is a funny man he's telling it but

is out of control

you know

and he's

you know

he's headed

you know

for something really bad

and like three months later

the overdose happened

yeah

I want to find that article man

I remember that

it was us

yeah

there's a lot of

fucking funny men

that went down too early

like fucking John Candy

he was pretty fucking good

Jim Belushi

yeah they should have

took Dan Aykroyd

and kept Jim Belushi

should have made a trade there

would Dan Aykroyd

ever do you

he stopped making

fucking movies

they could have

took his brother

other Belushi. I'd rather

they take me on. Oh, James?

Yeah.

They could have me on.

Maybe it says that there was an election?

Yeah, yeah, that's what I keep... I keep trying to get to the

point where I'm telling them about the election

but I keep fucking around.

This is that city, Rotherham, is it?

Rotherham. Yeah.

Did they elect a black man for president?

I don't think so. Rotherham is just

a city. I don't even know what they had. Maybe a mayor

or a lord, lord

sir mayor of the of the city uh far yeah farley was featured in an article in uh us magazine

detailing his destructive behavior yeah titled chris farley on the edge of disaster and like

three months after that came out he uh they found him uh dead in his chicago uh apartment wasn't it

his hooker like he was the hooker and the hooker could have probably saved him but she just she

left when he collapsed uh foaming at the mouth she just left scared instead of calling at least

calling for help or an ambulance to say he might have survived you know if they if they uh would do

cpr training with the prostitutes like they do in the league where the legal yeah you got to get

your card you know yeah they need to they got to use yeah they got to be registered uh you registered

you got to do the sex testing sex testing on a on a monthly on a on a weekly basis exactly and then

Then they've got to have their CPR card for the cocaine.

And tax it appropriately, right?

That's right.

Now, see, the only place where I do cocaine is off of a prostitute's breast.

Oh, yeah, like in Robocop.

No, no, no.

The best is off the prostitute's ass.

I don't know what you're doing.

Dude, like fucking Robocop, man.

Like, you know, like Paul Morton, the fucking Robocop, remember?

You know, guys, what I'm talking about?

When we were in the Robocop movie?

Yeah, that's how you do coke.

cope that new robocop movie is coming out and they they showed some better pictures of the

robo suit and it's actually looking looking kind of cool but he's got one normal hand apparently

like they were able to save save his right hand so he's all robotic yeah i guess yeah he got to

keep his jacking hand yeah they're taking the new judge dread he wants the warm hand for his jacket

i haven't seen the new judge dread you know i i remember seeing the the first one that was

was really shitty in the 90s and i'm surprised they gave it a second one looked pretty weak

from the trailer no it was pretty good i liked the first one though to be honest with you i am

you know what was shitty was the new total recall saw that piece of shit yeah replacing

schwarzenegger with fucking colin farrell you can't do that yeah and then you know another

thing skyfall i'm a big bond fan skyfall saw it it was good um that was the last good one

Yeah, I agree.

I would put it in the top three of Bond movies since I've been alive.

I've been alive since 79, so I guess the first one would be like Moonraker.

So Moonraker up until now.

Talking about remakes, Red Dawn, the remake, actually looks pretty decent.

Which one?

Red Dawn.

Yeah, but again, they were supposed to be Chinese invaders, and now they're North Korean.

They edited them out.

They were Chinese in the original.

on original they were russian and um yeah his spat cuban cuban and russian cuban and russian

yeah through mexico but this time around here um what what what occurred is they filmed the movie

and all the dialogue they were talking about a chinese invasion and they decided through from

pressure from chinese entities against the movie studio they decided to change to it was it's a

north korean invasion which is less plausible how would you think that north korea would invade

They looked at it because of the movie markets because they could still make money if they changed it to North Korea.

They could still make a movie over the Chinese market.

Yeah, because they're never going to show it in North Korea anyway, so it doesn't matter.

They said that that movie was made in 2010 and actually was on the shelf for about two years.

Yeah, yeah, because MGM went through his trouble, yeah.

Right.

That's why Robocop was taking so long to film.

Robocop was supposed to come out like two or three years ago.

Yes, Milkman, go ahead.

Hey, did we call back at Second Indian Restaurant yet, or is that off the table now?

I did, I did.

Remember the guy said that we're prank callers or whatever, right?

I'd buy that for a dollar.

Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

I got confused.

Never mind.

All right, I got a message for you.

You crack me up, Death Fox.

I'd buy that for a dollar.

Who's talking about my mom?

Yeah, that's...

Who's talking about my mother?

There's, yeah, there's, yeah, there's a lot.

That's a really quotable movie, you know.

I'd buy that for a dollar.

Bitches leave.

What else you got?

Thank you for your cooperation.

Good night.

Dead or Alive, you're coming with me.

All of this.

Oh, fucking, what was his name?

The fucking bad guy in the first one, the main dude, I forget his name.

Clarence Botter.

Yeah, right.

Fuck, I forget his real name, but he was sitting there with the fucking shotgun.

Me, me, me, me, me, me.

He was fucking tracking his fucking hand and shit.

Yeah, man.

Oh, Kurt Woodsmith, that's his name.

Yeah, he's from that 70s show or whatever.

I hope they do the commercials on the new one, like they had the commercials every few minutes.

yeah like for the sux with that car the s7000 dollar guy yeah well no there was a car too

there was some car commercial it got like you know two miles for the gallon like a mustang or

something yeah it looked like a like a pontiac you know like it was like the 6000 sucks and it

the commercial had a had a fucking t-rex in it or something remember the 6000 sux yeah the big

It's like, big is back.

they had the ed bigger is back

they hit the ed with the lady to put all the like real thick blue sunscreen on it was fucking

that was the second one right

it could not come out into the sun

until now

yeah and at the end it said that the product

might cause cancer

it does cause cancer

yeah this product causes cancer

anyway listen

let's do some more prank calls

we've been talking about all over the place here

tonight very talky tonight

very talky show

we're going to talk about death box

about how he's not allowed in liquor stores anymore

due to his family

Is that why you're sober tonight?

They said they cut you off?

No, that's liquor stores.

I just can't drink today.

I don't know who we're calling here.

We're calling somebody.

No, I drank last night.

I'm not drinking every day.

Let me do this.

He's drunk.

John Ashmore, bitch.

Hello?

Hi, is this...

No, John died six months ago.

Oh, my goodness.

Is that why he didn't vote today?

That's about as good as when

a fucking Brent Westwood called about,

hey, did you lose your credit card?

Made her a fight.

fucking fact i did it's canadian what's the area code on the messaging service this is straight up

like a u.s number to dial canadian there you go yep it says it's open to 2 a.m so it should be

it might not be i don't know in alberta is that a bad part of town i don't know man i don't live

in canada yeah they're out of fucking control up there in canada with those hockey sticks funny

kind of have a canadian accent yeah might be closed i don't know i don't know if they're

one hour ahead there fuck connor speaking yes hi i wanted to know about getting some of that

possoa do you know what possoa do you have possoa what is that it's a liqueur a liqueur

liqueur it starts with a p p possoa possoa it's a passion fruit uh fucking liqueur it makes the

girls wet down there my friend was saying milkman well i'm looking to see if we have anything called

that and i don't see anything well what about you you're a woman you sound like you're a woman what

gets your vaginal secretions flowing a little bit down there my girlfriend and your vagina my

girlfriend does yeah but what drink um usually breezers not not liqueurs and they so how you

have like how many of those like two or three yeah that's fucking nice and what what happened

you like laid do you lay down does she muff dive at all or was she after you've had you know what

but that's an inappropriate conversation.

Well, you have a girlfriend.

That sounds hot, you know?

Tell me about her.

Is she cute?

I'm not going to tell you about her,

but I got work to do.

I'll tell you about my girlfriend.

You tell me about yours.

Well, that's okay.

I don't need to know about your girlfriend.

You don't need to know about my girlfriend.

I'm going to hang up the phone.

Have a good night.

What size is she?

She threw her girlfriend out in front of my face

like I was going to face me.

She thought it would trip you up.

she thought it would trip you up

yeah

so like fine

yeah let's talk about

your girlfriend

yeah

man

throw you off your game

if she wants to hang

with the boys

she better you know

bring it

you know what I'm saying

like yeah

you want to hang out

with the men

better learn to polish

some bags

you better learn

to talk shit

about your girlfriend

you're not married yet

we can talk about

she was

she was totally

trying to beat you

in that conversation

girlfriend

wait after you've been

chewing on that bee

curtain for another

ten years

that'll get her

Hey Carlito

Ask the next liquor store

If they have the Madhouse

BBPP Vodka

BBPP Vodka?

Yeah the Madhouse

Oh what the fuck

Buy the Madhouse

It's the fucking brand

Here you ask them because that's nasty

You want to ask?

I'll do it

I think that French Westwoods

Fucking line right there

Can't Eastwoods

I'll do it

madhouse what is it bbpp if it means what top of the house black pussy bumpers what the fuck is

that big black pussy our store hours are monday to thursday whatever ball it's like right under it

no that's that's been a joke for a while amongst some of my friends because we did

like a white elephant gift exchange and that was the my friends got the most obnoxious like

porno they could find and brought it to the white elephant gift exchange and uh let's just say i

took it home i stole for that shit yeah that's a good one you know so but isn't white elephant

supposed to be like less than a dollar or a dollar or less well i guess you just set it up but you

know it's like you what it is you bring in different things like there's actually a couple

websites you look at so one i think at that same one uh this friend of ours this lady friend of

of ours she brought in a giant blow-up picture of herself and that was kind of hilarious and then

at one we did white elephant for my company party and i brought in a number 10 can of nacho cheese

nice that's see what elephants a fun game i like that game that's fun we play it with dollar store

things uh hang out don't call me when i just i like i like the idea for the high roller one you

know we'll go do some high rolling you know maybe white elephant for 20 bucks or something for some

Yeah, for some real money, right, fucker?

Yeah, man.

Don't call the 7371, because they're not open until the 11th.

The other one's open until 2.

I just found the store hours for these things.

For $20, a crossover there can get you about a case of those big fake rubber titties and shit from the dollar store.

Yeah, man.

I think you can get a flashlight for $20.

Nah, you can't get a flashlight for $20, man.

Flashlights are pretty expensive.

You can get a used one.

Yeah.

Maybe on site.

Sick, fucker.

Maybe on cyber one day you'd luck out.

Hey, you know what?

Jin was telling me that there's something else that he got called the egg,

some kind of fucking egg.

Oh, yeah.

Is it for boys and girls, the egg or something?

No, it's like some kind of, it's like the fleshlight,

but it's like a little egg shape, and you can use it like two or three times.

He said it's like ten times better than the fleshlight.

That guy is sick as fuck.

Yeah, well, I also heard you could buy liver and warm it up in the microwave.

That's true. No, you leave it out on top

of the TV, man. I talked about that

because it's true.

Another story I heard was that old Jim was banging out

fucking 15-year-olds, so you don't take him

at his word. 16-year-olds.

16-year-olds. No, no.

She just turned 16, so technically

she was right on the border.

Whatever. Okay. Alright, let's

do a prank call here. Here's the call, and I'm gonna

do it. It's true.

Hello. Hello.

Is it John? Yeah.

I said hi to her, and she

She's just listening.

She hung up.

Well, you didn't say this is...

Well, I didn't get a chance.

I was in the house.

The person you're calling is on the phone.

I was going to say something after I said hi, but she wouldn't have none of it.

Welcome to the messaging service.

Fuck me.

All right.

That's another Robocop quote.

John did not answer.

However, TGI Fridays in Guam is here.

Maybe they'll answer.

Maybe they're stupid.

Probably, because those people are all stupid.

They're waterheads there.

You know that?

you tilt their heads and the water comes out maybe that's like that guy that we just talked

a little bit earlier with the autistic kid he's a waterhead that's horrible so yeah man um aaron

come up with a night you know for the show and you got the whole every every right now it's open

except for thursday thursday yeah right yeah no i got yeah i'll do it and gillicast is gonna come

on yes hi is this tgi fridays where you have ice cream this is tgi fridays

corporate office yeah you have 50 flavors of ice cream there uh no i don't think so this this is

this can't be international friday's ice cream no oh man huh how much ice creams do you have there

have the regular friday sunday you don't have a soft serve there that you can make with peanuts

no sir sorry well what about the meats hello let me call back i don't know that was stupid and weird

Jared, but let me see if I can get her back.

Get some hot sausage on your wet banana split.

She said it's corporate, so that's an office.

They only have one phone there at the corporate headquarters in Guam.

They all sit around it.

Anyway.

I love when we talk to Ernie.

You're going to trace your number and have you fucking thrown in jail.

He's going to have you thrown in jail.

I love it, too.

He's getting fucking progressively more and more fucking threatening each year.

Last time you said you noticed him cursing me, cursing me out.

I just posted a number in the Skype chat.

It's right next to Piccadilly Circus in the UK.

And when I talked to them last time, they said that it's like a rock star hotel.

Like, as I said, we were going to come in with, like, bondage.

And I offered to put the girl in bondage and stuff like that.

You offered to put her in bondage.

Holy shit.

All right.

Give me a second.

I'm calling this place in Guam.

Then we'll call them.

Welcome to New York, please.

Yeah, hi.

I wanted to make an order, please.

I'm sorry?

I'd like to make an order, please.

An order?

Yep.

Are you calling for Outriggers?

I'm calling to order a woman to come to my room, please.

Do you have a woman here?

Hello?

Come on.

Like you're eating.

Did you hear the recording beep at the start?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I like doing these calls where I chew.

I just sound like such an asshole.

I put a number in the thing down there for a deep freeze.

Here, I'll go find some back page numbers.

Yeah, this is the resort.

The resort front desk.

Outriggers?

Yeah, I need a woman.

Excuse me, sir?

I need a woman companion, please.

A woman for companionship.

Companion for?

For me.

Hello?

Yeah, for me, for me.

A companion for me, a companion lady.

I'm sorry, I don't understand you.

What's the reason for?

What's the reason for what?

What do you mean?

This is a girl.

Okay.

I need a woman.

This is a girl.

Yeah, I want a woman.

Will a woman come to my room and sit on my bed with me?

I'm sorry, we don't provide the kind of like that.

Maybe you made a wrong phone call.

Well, what local place?

If I'm staying at the resort, what place locally provides girls?

Hello, sir.

Mm-hmm.

I don't understand you.

You know they can send a girl to my room to be with me, a woman?

Um, a girl?

Mm-hmm.

May I have your room number, sir?

Number 12?

Um, I need your room number.

12.

Shit, damn it.

12?

Yeah.

I'm sorry, we don't have the room number 12.

Is it 112 then?

112?

Uh-huh.

I'm sorry, we don't have the room number 112.

12B.

Sorry, we don't have it.

Okay.

What room am I in then?

I don't have your name on the system.

I'm so sorry, can you...

When did I give you my name?

Can you take your telephone number and call back?

When did I give you my name?

Hello?

When did I give you my name?

When?

When did I give you my name?

Hello?

Tell me, when did I give you my name?

I never gave you my name.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

When did I give you my name?

Yeah?

Okay, I'll have one more time.

Okay.

Hello?

Number 12.

Hello?

Can I have your name one more time?

My name is number 12.

Hello?

Number 12.

Yes, that's why we don't have a number 12.

Well, you're stupid then, right, asshole?

Hello, sir.

I can't communicate with you anymore.

You're a stupid asshole

Go fuck yourself

Yeah you stupid bitch

That was a stupid call

Hello sir

Hello

I found a girl in San Diego for $80

$80

Fucking Artie's in luck

Hello

Yeah I see that you're willing to provide

Great experience

No games

Call me in block

Oh I'm calling from the hotel

tell man the bitch is paranoid of the police right there call me i'm black motherfucker let me check

my number call me i'm black call me i'm black call her back and just play the porno music down

the line let me do my shift to her this is what i want to do this is what i want to do i'm trying

to save a car wait let me find a really ghetto person if i call him block the one answer probably

did we get any peach fuzz tonight what come on now no no no play it play it play it that is

This is ridiculous.

$80.

Who's going to do that for $80?

I don't know, man.

There's always somebody who wants to do that shit, man.

What can you do?

I think DevFox should call Will and try to deal with her.

Like, for $80, I could get two fucking fat chicks.

You got to bring the price down.

I could.

I'm from the South.

Everything's cheaper.

Be like, I could get two fat bitches named Brittany that weigh 300 pounds for that price.

You need to fucking bring it down.

Here we go.

here's the number i'm placing it right now well in the meantime i'm trying to see if i can get uh

get the first one to go here for some reason it's not coming up with my little doohickey to call on

blog fuck oh shit look at that fucking ad he just posted posted a little fucking spinner right there

holy shit 108 pounds and fucking 36 deep tips you get the fuck out of here you lying you lying

Ryan, bitch.

First pictures.

I thought I had to see it.

I thought I had the Google Voice plug-in installed.

What the?

Damn it, man.

Give me a second.

I got to download this.

Because the other one's going to want it, too.

You'll see.

We're going to need this unblocking thing.

How did you ever want to play this Academy with no fucking sense of beat fucking it?

Jim Hendricks?

Jim Hendricks.

Who?

The guy that makes the noises?

Yeah, Jones.

I think it was in number six when they put the fucking Afro on.

and he was in the club fucking trying to be

Jimi Hendrix and shit. Oh, because the power went out

in the comedy club? Right. Yep, exactly.

Yeah.

I loved those Police Academy movies when I was a kid.

Fuck, yeah, I loved the Police Academy

franchise. That needs

a reboot too, man.

I need a new guy.

Nah, you can't redo that.

That and the thing about the 80s

movies is that they were really so

terrible, you go back and watch them now,

and you just can't get away

with making shitty-ass movies that are

It's like Bubba Smith

The guy that played Hightower

He's fucking dead

How do you replace the dude that played

What's that dude

He talks like that

Bobcat

He can't replace him

Bobcat Goldwave is awesome

I love that guy

The way he talks

Mahoney and all that shit

Have you guys ever seen Windy City Heat

You know what that is

Windy City Heat

um okay go download that and go check out windy city heat it was uh uh just just go download it

that guy bobcat goldwaif the it plays in it all right so basically i guess uh jimmy fallon not

jimmy fallon um who's the guy on abc late night it's that fucking guy used to be on the man show

uh jimmy kimmel yeah he took comment yeah jimmy kimmel yeah jimmy kimmel and adam carolla i guess

they know some guy who wants him he keeps telling him put me in a movie put me in a movie get me in

a movie and they play a prank on him he's a really like um stupid kind of guy he's very gullible

they make him think he's in a movie like a big budget movie and they fuck with him for like a

good month while he's trying to film this movie you gotta watch anyway when the city he anyway

bobcat goldthwait that's in it he plays the director and he constantly talks like to everybody

with a mic with a megaphone like even like they'll be having they'll be sitting down on a

a conference table having a meeting and and he's talking through them through the megaphone uh while

he's you know talking about the movie and the plans and stuff like that you got to watch that

man i've got a copy of it can i can post it or give it to you or something like that yeah i'm

uh taking a search for it on a couple sites right now i love that yeah dirty works you know i'm

gonna write that down man dirty work i'm gonna watch dirty work man because i haven't seen that

since like i saw it in 98 when it first came out i saw i rented it um and saw it with my roommates

and we i can't i told a bunch of people about it i was like hey man this is the new guy on

the stern show he's fucking hilarious in his movies with norm mcdonald yeah that was right

that was when norm mcdonald had that sitcom with the guy with uh the guy from alf oh really yeah

on abc i remember that it was just called norm or something yeah i mean norm mcdonald i don't

know what ever happened to him i thought it was kind of funny just uh just found the movie you

were talking about i got a couple links to watch it yeah get that man they will go watch that dude

you'll thank me later that fucking amazon.com here we go it'd be like that time i turned you

on to turn you on to project x project x project x was awesome yeah all right actually i'm gonna

be wrapping up pretty soon here to be honest with you kids it's getting late it's rapid fire here's

uh i'm gonna put these uh facebook numbers in here in the chat i'm gonna thank everyone who's

tuned in tonight to Madhouse Radio.

We started a little early. We're ending

a little later than normal.

I'm not working right now,

so normally I could go on until later, but I got

a few things I want to handle early tomorrow.

Before we go on, I have

a request, courtesy of Enigma.

You want to be calling Nunu a

fucking cunt. Nunu, you're a fucking cunt.

Per Enigma. Alright, you got that?

Amelia Martinez

Dumbass. Can someone please

return my seller? If you see it, please call

me at this number. Blah, blah, blah.

If found, I guess this girl lost her cell phone.

She called and a sleepy female answered, it says.

Okay.

You lost your cell phone, you called it, and a sleepy female answered?

Well, she was sleeping around with her man, that's why.

I don't know what she's talking about.

A sleepy female.

I want to talk to this stupid bitch.

All right.

Well, here we go.

The DM person, they're trying to rob somebody's radio.

Yeah.

Oh, is Amelia there?

Sleepy.

Oh, okay.

All right.

She lost her cell phone.

Did she get it back yet?

Oh, okay, where did she leave it

Hello, where was it

Hey, stupid cocksucker

Answer my question, cocksucker

Did Amelia find her cell phone, you said

She did

Amelia got her cell phone back, did she get her cell phone

Stupid man, can you hear me

Fuck

Let me talk

Let me talk, did Amelia find her cell phone

We've been looking for it

Yeah, she found it

What did she lose, is it because she's a stupid asshole

asshole well yeah but why does she lose it because she's a stupid idiot she's a stupid person

yeah so she is stupid all right all right well why don't you can you wake her up and tell her

she's stupid all right bye asshole the fuck is he he sounds like fucking like his last name is

red corn remember that one it sounds like he's fucking uh skype just took a shit out of that

call yeah he sounds like he's a cherokee indian or something you heard him yeah i don't know

I don't know maybe she is

Anyway here's the next one

Terry I'm kind of excited

About this one for Deanna who's trying to

Telling people to make some money

Is the chat broken or Skype broken

Hello

Skype sounds weird

What's going on

We're in trouble with Skype

Restarted

Restarting and then we'll end the show

Should just end the fucking show

I'll restart it so Milkman can come on and say shit

Now it's not even responding

Responding. It's not loading.

Fuck. This shit's fucking running crazy, man.

You know, Skype's being all kinds of stupid.

Hello? Hello?

Yeah, I'm here.

I think Skype's still fucking up.

I blame the government.

Eh, maybe I'll just end the show. I think that's best.

No.

Yeah, it's time. It's over.

You got a gang call on your own, at least.

Leave that one about the chick wanting to rob stuff on your own, at least.

Yeah, I'll shut up.

Damn, the Skype problems caused my erection to go down.

Sorry.

Oh, shit, am I on the air?

Oh, fuck.

fuck sorry man end your skype session penis milkman you there's yellow oh hey man all right we're

gonna do like connecting no he's there hello oh there you are okay now i hear you yeah yeah okay

would the audio fall out again yeah man yeah yeah yeah it sucks man you got 50 people in there so

kind of get choppy there's one yeah that's cool anyway i'm gonna do one more prank and we're gonna

gonna end it oh okay all right last one who'd you uh death fox who'd you say to call that one with

the girl with the key to the room the hotel room wanting to rob somebody oh yeah yeah yeah shit

deanna this came from big brad telling you about the hotel and you saw it and you're gonna report

her something i don't know shit trying to get i think it's my laptop here that i use for the skype

and the email it's not working right um i'm actually in the middle of backing stuff up on

it not right now but uh i started today i'm gonna finish tomorrow so i can um reinstall the os on

this laptop hasn't been wiped out in a while all right the first video is done i'm not even gonna

bother doing a second video for tonight the video feed is down as we're wrapping it up for the show

tonight and this is lady who has ace whatever the fuck that is ace i have a few bottles of ace left

i'm gonna call her too let's go what the fuck the fucking thing yeah what's ace man let me get

someone like ace it's probably something for the first i don't know why it's something for your

balls yes hi i wanted to see about coming to the hotel the comfort inn number three i wanted to

see about coming to the comfort inn and door number three are you there now no i wanted to go

and do push-ups for you and jumping jacks and you give me money oh seriously why is a woman offering

men who knows if it's men i don't know i don't know what that's about that's so weird come to

my hotel room i will give you money i will pay you um who's chewy chewy rodriguez got a new cell

phone also my house number is this i just got that email so while we're on here um apparently

the chat will be going down um for no longer 10 minutes because they figured out what was wrong

with you know it's been crashing once or twice yeah after since it's been storming yeah since

since it's been storming they're gonna upgrade it upgrade the free bsd on it and um so they don't

know if you'll read that it says between the next one and three days to go down i just had to

restart it because i've been complaining like a bitch to him all right well good as long as we

get our name name serves name servers and all that our name server service working much appreciated

it's got some ace let's get some ace we'll work on it yeah we need some ace do you still have aces

well we still have ace whatever i'm done stupid bitch on the phone hello hello she picked up and

hung up okay all right uh dirty aaron you're out of here on your ass you have a great night

oh yeah dad okay that sounds good good weekend and all that shit if you're gonna go on let me

know let me know you're gonna go on i'll listen i'll listen yeah well okay so a couple questions

every time i go to fucking open up what what problem is that the the the encoder yeah the

The shit is gone.

I have to re-enter it every fucking time.

Oh, so it's not saving.

So when you get out of Winamp, make sure you're doing file and exit instead of just X-ing it out.

Okay, file and exit.

Yeah, but just the first time to save it, and after that you can, after you do it that way once,

after you set it up, you don't have to worry about it again.

Anyway, go ahead.

The other thing that's happening is that after I do a show and I leave Winamp sort of running,

then it goes to this other thing that says

I haven't entered the

I haven't entered the fucking product key

for the codec or whatever for the encoder

but I did

I don't know what the fuck

we'll have to check that

I'm going to try for Saturday

but I don't know what time I'm going to go on

because we're going to a roller derby bout in Portland

oh roller derby alright cool man

bitches hitting bitches with

roller skates

alright cool man have a good night

we'll figure that out

we're on it man dirty aaron yeah all right death fox bye no i'm scared okay good luck with the

chat room man let's get this restarted let's let's do it yeah come on milkman if you had

to talk to me or something like that you said you did yeah milkman talk message me you have

to talk to me yeah he's sober so he'll he'll remember what you say today milkman okay all

right cool see you later death fox later man milkman get us out of here come on come on milkman

wake up milkman milkman turn off turn off your c-pap turn off your c-pap wow yeah all right

no man your connection is bad so what's up we are okay that was a great show man

you guys are going back yeah oh it's not hell yeah hell yeah we're quite a few happy customers

tonight yeah we did absolutely man welcome glad we had such a good turnout man everybody

Everybody, I think, everybody there, join in the mad.

I need to bring six friends right here into this room.

My goodness, the list is so long, I cannot even name you all, but I do want you to know.

Thank you so much.

We appreciate it.

We're so glad you showed up.

That's right, all our friends over at Cacti Radio Network there.

Oh, listen, that word's so like going around there.

All our friends over at Syndicate, all our friends out there in radio and wherever you may be,

your ear goggles are tuning in right here into the best bat station, Sandbat Cave.

same back time every week right here you can find us that's right we do this for you the most

interactive show you can find right here on the internet we drop the dime we ask that you just

give us your time bring a friend of yours bring it in and you're always welcome right here in the

madhouse i'd like to thank our friends for stopping by i think you had ted webb in there and quite a

few other guests and and some other good callers in there thank you so much what we do without our

fearless leader of the madhouse the generalissimo of the madhouse militia

thank you so much my brother thank you you saved another life we did yeah milkman all right we'll

be on next week everyone be sure to check out madhouse live.com and compare yourselves for the

best in prank calls yeah man oh yeah all right milkman thanks for being on tonight milkman

we'll talk later tomorrow all right i appreciate it brother thank you so much i want to get up

I'll put you on some other events there to bring you up to speed.

So we shout to my brother.

All right.

Yeah, we shout.

Happy birthday, Jimi Hendrix.

We love you, man.

I'll tell you, it's a better place than the bear world with you and your love in it.

Happy birthday, asshole drug addict.

All right, Milkman.

Good night, everybody.

Have a good weekend.

Be safe.

Bye.

To obtain a special dialing wand.

Calls (34, 1 h 15 min of 3 h 33 min)

Transcript

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