El Barco De La Madre

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Everybody.

Hi, guys.

I don't know what the fuck is or is not happening right now.

Trying to get everything working.

This is Madhouse Radio for December 20th, 2012.

It's a miracle I'm even on, man.

Ken says that Ken can hear me but not music.

Oh, shit.

I hear you, bud.

Well, on the video feed, the video feed's fucked up.

Hey, you want to know what's going on?

You want to see?

Oh, that video thing.

You want to know what's going on?

Look, so the video's working but the audio's not working.

You want to see where the server is I'm gonna show you I'm gonna show you guys the normal madhouse server

This is where it's at right now. This is the madhouse server. This is what usually handles video

This is a computer right here usually handles video that usually handles the rotation all that good shit

There it is right there right on my desk right in front of you. Here's the memory pulled out

Here's a here's though the processors under here

oh we're having a hardware discussion i'm missing that yeah big fucking problem man

that's what's going on with madhouse that's what's up with madhouse right now that's why

the shit isn't working as as you what the hell happened dude we got do we got a hardware failure

sometime is it a motherboard all kind of hardware problems man with madhouse with the main madhouse

server and the problem is it's my home server actually it's it handles madhouse but on the

side it also handles all the all our files here in the in my house yeah and it's fucking it's

It's taking a dump, and I just about got it fixed.

Guys is a home server, a madhouse server.

Yeah, exactly.

So that's what the problem is.

So sorry.

Sorry, guys.

You're going to have to, if you want, if you guys want to hear music.

All right, everybody listen.

Everybody hold your fingers up in the air.

You got two on one hand, you got one on the other, right?

It's a sign language, okay?

Just insert the word as you see Carlitos smiling, laughing, looking at Kogi, and wearing his captain's hat.

Well, they can hear me talking.

So here's what I would recommend.

man because you're not going to hear you're only you're only going to hear mike as a matter of

fact on video so we we really shouldn't even be doing a video at this point i don't i guess

if you're watching the video feed and you want to hear the show you want to you want to mute

your video and you want to go to madhouse live.com and you want to listen to the audio there that

audio should be working that's that would be my recommendation the youtube stream is up uh youtube

YouTube is video and my mic only.

That's it.

It's not going to pull any music.

And it's not going to pull...

You know what?

As a matter of fact, it probably doesn't...

You might not even hear any calls in either.

Oh, yeah.

He can't hear you.

It's a one-way coverage.

You just hear me talking.

Oh, hell, everybody.

Let's tune in there, man.

Yeah, yeah.

Don't listen to...

That's better than me.

There you go.

If you hate milk, man...

If you hate me, please tune in, man.

Tune in on YouTube.

Because I love all of you out there, especially my haters.

I love you, Nunu.

God bless you, man.

I'm getting confirmation that the stream is coming through good.

Hobzoid says the stream is coming in good.

Yeah, the stream is working.

Oh, he said it's working.

Darn it.

Well, at least we got y'all to go over there and listen and check it out,

because there are other options.

Yeah, I tried everything I could to get this server.

I mean, I got to look.

I got to.

I'm not going to start moving the camera.

Take a picture of it, man.

I want to see it.

I missed a video of it.

My video came up.

I want to see a picture of it, man.

Yeah, well, right now, I mean, I got a new case, so the server took a dump, right, and I opened it up, and...

Motherboard or the drive?

Well, that's...

Did the drive fall off, or did it turn out to be motherboard?

Well, it was a drive problem, right?

It ended up being a hard drive problem, and then I said, well, if I'm going to open it up and replace the hard drive, it needs a new case.

The case was toasted, like the fans...

You're just like me.

You know, you're going to do all the improvements at once, because you actually stopped operations.

Yeah.

You took down the main machine, the chair, and now you have a server.

Yeah, exactly.

yeah so i'm like all right cool so here i'm gonna i'm gonna so i'm gonna get some new ram i got new

this is the old fan the old fan and heatsink is here i got this nice cooler uh here uh uh set up

on it and it doesn't want to run on this motherboard i got a modern uh cooler modern cpu fan it's

massive and it's not uh it doesn't when i when i turn it on like i know what i'm doing yeah it's

It's a Cooler Master.

Cool Master.

I love those, man.

That's what I have here.

The only thing better is the liquid thing.

I don't buy the liquid thing.

Or the one here.

This guy here.

The guy to my right.

I thought about the sealed one, not the plumbing one.

My nice machine here to my right.

It's the same fucking heatsink and fucking fan.

CPU fan.

But this motherboard that I'm using is...

I mean, this machine, when I bought it, I bought a fucking Compaq in 2007.

No, bullshit.

shit i bought this machine in 2006 and it's like it's old technology and i said well let me start

so i decided i was gonna do the best i could so i went out and uh i bought a uh a processor that

the best processor that this motherboard would take it only cost me 20 bucks that's that's how

old this machine is okay the best processor this motherboard will run only cost me $20.99 on ebay

so that's how how old we're working with here all right so i i upgraded the processor that's fine

uh i got some new ram in here that's fine i got a new uh fucking uh power supply and shit

uh but the problem is like when i when i power it up it it does the post test it passes that

the fan stops working and then and i'm not gonna run i'm not gonna fucking run the

fucking machine with no fan why does the fan stop working if you disable it in the bios

is that one of those are controlled the bios setting well okay the fan the fan is made it's

not one of those fans uh it's what are they called pw it's not a pw whatever fan that's that's

controlled by the by the motherboard it has to be controlled it doesn't have the third wire in it

yeah it will it doesn't have the fourth wire it's it's a it's a three wire plug on the motherboard

and it's a and it's a four wire uh cable connector coming out of the out of the fan um so the problem

is so then i'm like all right cool i'll go into bios and i'll flip the setting the bios for this

motherboard does not have the option to change the fan settings at all it's not there it doesn't

okay it does the only other option you have is that it's even available to be flashing your ram

which i rarely whatever i'm not even gonna bother with it i'm not flashing yeah so what yeah what

i'm gonna do is i'm gonna put the old fan and i'm gonna put the old stock fan and heat sink on there

which sucks because it's 10 times louder than this than this nice one that i bought um about

10 times louder put the tower just extend the cables a little bit the tower like down underneath

that so you get a little audio shielding i mean yeah i can i'm just i'm just trying to do it right

cables or whatever you got set up whatever that's yeah that's what i'm gonna do but by the time i

got to that point by the time i got to that point you don't want to give up a chance cooling man

you're better off yeah i know that one you cut me off yeah all right well i don't know i just

i'll have to put the old uh fan on there and it'll be a little louder but it'll work and

and then we'll go yeah because this fucking um like the fan stopped working and i touched the

i touched this heat sink blazing hot blazing hot weld your finger yeah man it was only

i know dude that's hot as fuck you're really borderline though even though you're running

you know uh multi-core you can get away with it you really shouldn't yeah well i'm over here it's

it's like 40 degrees outside and the heat sinks it's all outside there's a fan blowing on it from

you know and and I was only in the bios for like five minutes and in that time

amount of time it was very hot to the touch enough to just about scald me if I

touched it for too long so yeah it's crazy so tomorrow it took me it was a

bitch to put this fucking heat sink on so I'm gonna have to take on like super

a super silver paste or anything like that yeah i forget what i use arctic fox i got i had it lying

around i've used it before i think it's arctic fox silver is probably one of the better ones

because what it is it's actually just um a suspended metal particles of silver in this

and it's like you know this is like kind of like silicon medium and once it actually tanks up and

you group them together those little silver pieces actually kind of like bridge the gap between the

the cooling device and the top of the processor,

and it actually makes a much better, much better context.

I always use that silver, the Arctic Silver,

silver, like Silver Surfer.

It's Arctic Silver.

That's one I always go with,

because it gives a little bit better heat conduction.

But what happens is that other smoke-on-oil kind of shit,

basically, you will actually, in some of them,

I've seen them get so hot, it bubbled that shit out.

It bubbled it out, and the only thing that was left

after it was over, which is that little crud of silver

in there. So, actually, what happens

is that stuff can actually liquid

and stream and melt out, and then the only thing

that's left protecting it is, hopefully, some kind of connection

like silver molecules.

And the problem is it's conductive also,

and if it leaks out enough, it'll cause some

damage. But yeah, that's fine. Tomorrow

I'm going to take the heat sink, I'll clean

the stock heat sink really nice

with some, I got the remover,

the thermal

paste remover, I'll clean it, I'll put some new stuff

stuff down and all you know technically what you could do is you could take and get like a small

switch you know a tiny switch from radio shack and you could like hook up your own little switch

you can actually cut that thing on and off just leave it in the on position but whenever it gets

noisy you could actually turn it off you can watch it you can you can but you're on screen you know

i'm sure i could do that too i don't know man there's i mean i'm not too that would be really

easy to do i could i mean i could tell you how to do it like two pieces of wire and you know

You know, this little SPF-D switch.

Yeah, a little switch, and I could just hit it on and off.

I just got to remember to hit it, though.

If I don't hit it, I'm just...

Well, as long as it's in the on position when it comes on,

the only time you have to do it is you just deactivate it.

It's a thing. You've got to look at it.

Well, this machine never... I never turn this machine off.

It's on 24-7. It backs up.

It's our media server here in the house.

I couldn't imagine the audio was going to be that loud, man.

I know they're loud, but I think if you use that directional mic,

You could even redirect your mic a little bit, change your audio pattern,

and you could probably get rid of any extra noise that would come out.

Right.

All right, all right.

Well, look, Milkman, Nunu is going to get mad pretty soon here.

He's already saying this is Prankshow, not Geekshow.

It's Prankshow, not Geekshow, Milkman.

Oh, UK, UK, UK.

Okay, Nunu, UK.

UK, UK, UK.

It's all over the screen, man.

He just flooded the whole chat.

Yeah, he says if you guys are missing this,

Nunu had a meltdown because it's UK all over the screen.

If we want to talk tech, it's got to be on to the UK only.

All right, Milkman, I wanted to mention we're going to get to the prank calls here.

We've got some good numbers to get to.

Brad hooked us up with some numbers to a portrait studio.

Customers for people who are getting some Christmas holiday photos with their families.

They've been taken.

They haven't been developed or delivered yet.

We're going to mess with them.

I wanted to also put the call out there.

if anyone can help me out i'm really wanting to play this game called ingress it's it's only out

for android um it's it's a supposedly it's a pretty cool game um i applied for the invite

a week ago i still haven't received an invite yet for the ingress game i'm hoping someone out there

uh has an account and is playing ingress now and you can send me an invite if you can hit me up

uh on skype or send me a message or drop me an email or something like that uh so that i can

play ingress because i'm really interested in playing ingress a friend of mine uh i met during

the week he plays ingress and he went on his tablet he has a nexus 7 and he he he handed it

to me and i typed in the email address to send the invite and i never got it i think i might have

fat fingered it when i did it and uh maybe i put in a dot net or dot com and said i don't know

maybe i fucked something up uh but anyway if i'm sure someone out there listening right now is

playing ingress it's uh it just seems like a pretty interesting game and if you are if you

can help your old boy carlito out with an invite i'd appreciate it hit me up here that was really

close to where i used to live in florida man i used to live right across the uh the water from

there man inverness ingress florida yeah yeah yeah no it's a game it's a game it's a game

yankee town all that area there it's a game ingress but i have been playing me and brad or

me and brad carter rbcp we're playing the simpsons ipad game if you're playing ios if you're an ios

if you're using an ipod ipod touch or an iphone or an ipad um pick up simpsons uh the simpsons

what's it called it's a simpsons uh social game and and if you're a simpsons fan you're gonna

love it simpsons sim 3 there you go a simpsons sim the game all right we got uh prank calls to

get to enough talking let's call some portrait customers okay i gotta get my new truck i still

got a little bit of a flu i'm sorry the flu oh we got yeah i got bad news too man i got good news

and bad news milkman what do you want first it affects the show it's pretty important actually

okay i got i got good news and bad news what do you want what do you want first

give me give me the bad news man because we know what the good news is uh well the bad news is

is there's going to be problems with the show there might be a time change or a day a date

change uh a day of the week scheduling change for the show coming up here unfortunately

oh really well the reason is i got a new job but it's going to be a night shift

for a few months at first until i get tenured in there and uh i don't know what days they're

going to give me on or off uh but it may it may cut into thursday nights i'm going to try to get

get the thursdays off i'm gonna try to see if i can work weekends um if that's the case then

we're okay then it'll be my night off and no worries but if i end up having to work thursday

nights we're either gonna have to move the show earlier during the day or we're gonna have to

move it to a different day altogether uh maybe we'll do we're gonna do it dude if we gotta move

a day let's do a friday this time i know we never we never did it before because there was always

one of our friends in the way but you know we don't have anybody out there that are on our

network on fridays yeah i think zolar does saturdays i don't think he does fridays anymore

more i'll get with him i'll see we can we can do saturdays too i don't i don't think zolar would

even give a shit anyway i mean you know no he's cool like that no we're cool he's on his own thing

too yeah he's doing his own thing yeah he's doing his we're good um also yeah the reason why uh the

the podcast hasn't been updated is because of the server being down until it's back up i can't uh i

can't edit or upload any podcasts because all the raw madhouse archived audio is sitting on the uh

external hard drive that goes into that worst case scenario i can pop it out to the the new

computer and start working that's all that's i don't know it's a fucking mess it's been going

on for two weeks last week we had to have tabachi uh doing the whole skype relay thing to do the

show yeah he and it came out what it came out great it sounded great i heard the i heard it

afterwards yeah it's a lot i got lost somewhere in here but then you know i wasn't feeling all

that hot but it did sound pretty decent i mean i heard a lot of crazy callers on there so

kind of like we had a good time yeah yeah i tried to call you back and you were i knew you were sick

i just let you take a rest man i'm glad you did i mean that's fine you give me a breakthrough

because i know i know you would have included me dude but i was sick man i appreciate thinking

about it man because i feel i still got it but not like i had this there you go i'm getting a

lot of help a lot better there you go all right bible blue thing really kicked my ass you remember

how i used to be before i got treated for my asthma dude fuck i'd be sick for a month and

i could not get rid of it man it's that time of year man that's the whole thing are you are you

you're doing the the the peppermint oil that's this week i have not done it and i was just

thinking about you read my mind i was thinking about that i haven't done you want me to send

you some man i'm gonna get me another bottle of it because i have not done it in ages

i was using it in in place of uh out of a medication yeah no it's did you save my life

once i had bronchitis i couldn't get rid of it you told me carly to go out of the nature store

get yourself some 100 essential peppermint i didn't believe you and i said fuck it i was

like i'll do whatever and i did it and almost immediately i did it right in the parking lot

of that nature's store i put some on my tongue and i breathe and i cough like a motherfucker

and by the time i got home i was already finally breathing a little better um it does work man it

really does yeah it does it does um i carry it all the time you know it's been around for thousands

of years the greeks are the ones that actually started using that name whatever the hell the

actual scientific name of it is yeah but i always carry it with me i always have a little bottle

on my back pocket i use it for if i have indigestion if i feel a little sick if um it does

work for all it does work for everything muscle pains and area i put some on my shoulders bother

me i got a bad shoulder on there i rub it right on your skin and you don't have any antiseptic

natural antiseptic property built into it yeah but you have to get the 100 essential oil there's no

crap nothing yet it has the pure peppermint oil nothing else no no blends or nothing oh by the

way milkman i wanted to send you a christmas thing and and i didn't get to you in time i

I need your address.

Send it to me after the show because I wanted to send you a Christmas gift.

And I don't want to tell you what it is, but you'll be pretty excited when you get it.

But if I send it now, you probably won't get it until Wednesday.

It'll be after Christmas.

One time.

You don't have to send me anything.

No, it's cool.

All right, man.

I appreciate it.

Well, before I forget, send me your address after the show.

I want to get your address.

I'll send you a – I've got a whole bunch of peppermint oil.

I'll send you one.

Oh, cool.

And I'll get you the gift.

I already – I actually already have it reserved on Amazon.

i just gotta get your address to ship it to you already actually paid for it to be honest with

you it's not nothing expensive i'll just think about you man there you go i appreciate it brother

all right all right then i'll give you my address after we get out there you go yeah no do the yeah

no seriously i already paid for it i just i'm it's it's an it hasn't shipped out yet because i need

to get your address to send it to um all right i did all my christmas shopping uh well i got i got

i gotta get something for my wife still i got her a few things online i'm gonna get her something

at the mall uh probably tomorrow i think all right well uh prank calls i keep looping back

to this we have to do a prank call here's uh someone with the last name ray oh my god the

chat is being flooded and taken over by noon it says uk over the screen again everybody in the

chat gotta see this is crazy all right man time for some calls time for some calls if i can hang

on i don't know uh he flooded the chat now he's actually got the damn madhouse computer going

crazier he's gonna crash yeah you're crashing you're crashing the interface on the madhouse

we only have one computer left please all right he's off now he's off i get calmed down we only

only have one computer left in you take it easy all right here we go first prank of the night

ran out of hemp oil quick it cleared the symptoms

is that hollywood vanya in the chat is that really him that's not hollywood hollywood i just

see the beginning part i don't see the hollywood i gotta expand that window but he likes that

good your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system okay well that didn't work

we got about 15 more where that came from no worries here's the next one this is for kristen

we've got some pictures today yeah let's let's float the idea out there um i i don't i start

the job the first uh the second week of january i got two weeks uh before i start uh the job um

so let's float the idea out there what would be the best if we end up having to change i would

prefer to keep it thursday nights because i have so much uh madhouse promotional audio that says

you know madhouse is on thursday nights it would suck to have to go back and get rid of all those

people get confused also people used to coming here on thursdays we'll float the idea what would

be the best time to do this show i think i think you're right milkman friday uh or maybe saturday

nights i think friday is good friday reason i say friday is because like some people actually

want to fuck around and do shit on friday other people like to stay at home and do nothing but

laugh yeah fridays are good friday is quite a for a lot of people actually do shit more on

on Saturdays and Fridays.

Saturday's a good night to go out.

Friday's a good night

to maybe stay home,

eat a pizza,

or, you know.

Well, you get off of work,

you're already tired,

and you ain't got a whole hell

of a lot of time.

Okay, you turn on the radio

and listen to us and laugh.

You can go out and get drunk

and get the ticket.

What's better?

Stay home.

You're caught in terrorism

right here on your computer.

That's the thing.

Stay home and drink at home,

you know,

and smoke marijuana cigarettes

and stuff.

You don't have to.

You don't have to terrorize

the world with drunk driver jails.

Stay right here

and be drunk with us.

I went to a holiday party

there was a cop there

and he was drunk off his ass

and he left driving

he's a police investigator

yeah

he's

hello

hi you have reached the voicemail

of Chris and Eldridge

please leave me a message

hi Chrissy Apples

Chrissy Apple Bottom

I heard Chrissy Apples

just left

aliens rule man

aliens rule this world

alright

Nita

Nita's here

she also got some pictures

hopefully some of these pick up

here's big Nita

Anita

Anita Dick

her last name is Dick

milkman first name Anita

That's not her last name.

When I was a teenager, that was a prank call I used to do.

That was a prank call I used to do when I was a kid.

Mike Oxmall used to do that a lot.

Is Mike there?

Last name Oxmall?

Mike Oxmall.

Oxmall's fine.

Mike Oxmall.

It is.

Damn, these are picking up.

Motherfucker, are you?

Diane.

Big Diane.

Diane.

There's a song about Diane.

You know that song Diane you don't got a word

Dirty Diana. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, they can for those dogs made up songs here

I'm gonna turn that fan off man getting colds cold motherfucker here, man. Purple power man. I got a detox man

I can't my test two weeks. I

Know what I told you what?

Hello, you've reached two two five nine eight five eight one of those milkman voicemails where she says hello at the beginning

and you think she answered i appreciate that listen and fall for it almost a big jeff see if

jeff answers here now one of these guys answers sure lonesome we were wondering about lonesome

last week he he said that because we started late because but i figured he'd probably join

here soon no he he usually shows up around 11 he's usually out uh working still and he said

he said he was good he wanted to be on i know he keeps up a lot on this score too hello yes hi

hi this is jeff yeah jeff you got some pictures i'm calling from the studio picture studio machine

hello picture studio yeah portrait studio yeah yes all right and these were these important

pictures did you need them for the holidays or something uh let's pick up around the 23rd

yeah i don't uh we the master tape got messed up here and uh the pictures got all confused and i'm

looking here and i'm presuming you're you're not an african-american uh family right i've got

got pictures here of a little black girl and a older black lady looks like her grandma no yeah

these come up under your code and last name so yeah these uh the pictures you're gonna you probably

yeah i think is best maybe you said you're gonna pick up your pictures on the 23rd yes yeah it's

probably best you come in on the 23rd and we're gonna retake all the pictures again uh you're

gonna have to because you already signed up for the package my son's not available that day well

Well, then you're going to have to wait.

When's your son available again?

I guess.

The computer won't let me do a refund at all.

It's either pictures or nothing, it says.

Is there a reason why you don't want to take the pictures now?

I don't understand.

I don't have my son that day, so I can't come in and take them.

Oh, you have a broken marriage kind of thing?

What?

You have, like, a broken marriage?

A broken, like, you're not a real family?

Like, does your son have two beds and all that stuff?

He's gone.

He goes, what?

And he hangs up.

He's got a broken marriage.

That's what it is, Milkman.

A broken marriage.

Perth is asking how fantasy football is going it's a shit yeah listen listen who are you you

if you want the you're gonna have to come bring that little brat kid of yours in here to get

pictures taken again it's not my problem if you're divorced and you couldn't keep your wife

and he's not with you all the time what's your what's your visitation situation like

hello mr jeff i just gotta who are you it's all i got who are you

You've got an angry helmet.

All right, you fucker.

He's got a block on his ass.

Bring him in.

Try him back, you sicko.

All right, damn it.

God damn it.

All right, listen to this song, because I've got to turn this fan off, dude.

I'm freezing.

I've got to get up and turn that fan off.

All right, dude, just get the processor closer to the window, man.

I ain't not going to put the processor on my dick.

Well, do that, dude.

You could have an explosive situation there.

That thing is processed power.

There it is, son.

All I hear is rumbling now, man.

No?

Sounds like you're masturbating.

That's it.

I don't hear no audio.

You're masturbating.

You're always masturbating.

Oh, you get in trouble in stores because you're masturbating.

Well, I mean, shit, somebody's got to do this.

Speaking of Sears, you're not allowed in any Sears, any masturbating Sears.

Well, you know, I tried that blue uniform thing, dude, and they saw right through me, man.

They said, you're from Sears, man.

You don't work at Walmart.

What the fuck are you doing here?

You got the wrong uniform on.

Nice road.

Yeah, man.

They fucking went ape shit, dude.

They called Homeland Security on me and everything.

Dude, I was lucky I got out of there with my life.

Yeah, it sucks.

There is no audio.

I think the only audio that's coming through on the YouTube right now

is going to be my talking

the female audio stream is down

the audio

I should just shut the video off so there's no confusion

I think I'll do that

there's no sense in just watching me

I told you what the guys were doing now

they're doing sign language

they're holding up two fingers on one hand

and they're holding up one finger on the other hand

sign language prank calling doesn't sound very interesting

that's it man all you gotta do is just

insert every time you see

Armando move his mouth you just insert

sign language

please leave your message for

720288

la la la la la

moving right along

milkman says

that was

peanut there

this is the last show

before Christmas

I guess

this is the last show

in this galaxy isn't it

when is

When is...

We're supposed to change planes in our galactic collision

to realign with the galaxy.

Yeah, there's a dark comet headed here,

and there's a planet headed here.

No, no, no, no.

We're becoming part of the Andromeda galaxy, and Andromeda's becoming part of the Milky Way.

Fuck. Sounds cool. About time we had a change.

Not enough. We need a few galaxies.

Long overdue for a change.

The mind is gonna change. They're saying you gotta be moving into the neighborhood.

Doesn't say it's the end of the world. It's the end of an era, or an age, or a time.

Please leave your message.

No answer to that one. Here's, uh...

Let's see who we got now. Nathan. Big Nathan. Let's see if Nathan picks up.

I think Andromeda will become part of our galaxy, is the way it's looking.

How's that possible? It's light years away.

It's fucking recorded.

Well, because gravitation is universal.

It's a universal concept.

Gravitation can be felt anywhere in the universe.

Exactly.

It's a concept, so it doesn't change.

It's not going to speed up.

It's a big G.

It's called the big G.

And how do the minds know all this?

If they're so smart, how do they extinct, asshole?

They were looking at astronomical alignment.

That's what they were looking at.

They were looking at the change from the collision of Andromeda and Milky Way Galaxy.

And our part of the collision is the area we're in.

They don't know shit.

So are we really in Milky Way or are we in Andromeda?

I think Andromeda is becoming part of the Milky Way because the Milky Way was here first.

I'm biased.

I am the Milkman.

Milkman went to a holiday party.

The regulars at the cigar shop that I go to, we had a holiday party.

Oh, yeah.

We had a holiday party, and it was pretty fun.

I made baklava.

It came out really good.

I have bacon from scratch.

Lonesome loser in the house.

Yeah, good.

Lonesome.

Hey, what's up, man?

So I'm a Scotch.

I drink Johnny Walker Black.

You know that, Milkman.

Well, it's actually, as a matter of fact, I'm going to pour some right now.

Speaking of being cold, that'll warm me up.

There's one of the regulars.

He's a doctor.

Did you get the blue shit?

The blue shit?

Well, that's what he brought.

Yeah.

$150 a bottle?

No, it's $220 a bottle.

That's what he said he paid for.

He brought a bottle of the blue.

The blue and the red are the high dollar ones.

I think the blue is the highest.

The red is the bottom.

Oh, green is the bottom.

Whatever.

Blue is the highest.

I had the blue.

So, for the first time ever, I had the blue label.

I'll tell you what.

it was it's better than than the black label i'll tell you that it's smoother smoother smoother it

doesn't have as much as alcohol bite less alcohol bite but you know what not more bourbon flavor

yeah but not worth double the price no way man more bourbon flavor but not quite much yeah yeah

but it wasn't worth it wasn't worth such a huge jump from the black label to the blue label so

it's more of a pressy thing yeah that's the connoisseur casing there yeah it's more if you

get the box with the little coffin look you know and the blue little haze to the bottle and like

like that everybody's got blue label yeah but um i would rather have the blacks because the black

this stuff here i can get it like the ipod it's like the ipod and the android no i would say god

no iphone and android whatever it's like an i7 and an i5 uh processor on your computer that's

what i would say like it costs a lot more and yeah it's a little better but it's it's hard to

justify it's hard to justify playing paying double the price that's what i'm saying that's like i

Like I just said, the iPhone and the Android, why pay double the price

when you get Black Performance, get your Samsung or an Android?

Exactly.

I mean, look at the statistics this year.

Finally, you know, the evidence in the market, the market is making the claim.

It's not the purveyors of the two Black ones, the people, folks.

The people are speaking, man, and the people say that the Android is not...

We're not so Apple-ish anymore, man.

We're getting over the little tiny screens and the limited expensive bullshit

you've got to go through now.

Gizmodo has a really good article out there about Apple stores.

Really freaking interesting about the shit that goes down at the Apple retail stores.

I don't think you're getting a jellybean update for your phone.

Not a lot of answers today.

We've only had one answer so far on these numbers.

Just one bite so far.

We've got two left on this list.

This is Kelly, who got pictures today with her family.

Holiday pictures.

Do we have some requested pranks?

We got some.

I don't know if there's any others in the backlog or not.

Yeah, yeah, we got some requests for pranks,

and I'm sure Lonesome is confirming up some also here pretty soon.

We'll get to those in a moment.

Let me burn through these.

We got the Lonesome loser now.

Yep.

Another no answer.

Jen Stewart's showing up.

He said he was going to be a little bit late.

Jen's going to join us tonight.

He's just logging in.

Oh, wow, dude.

He's coming in?

He's going to be on the show tonight?

Yeah, he said he was going to show up tonight,

but he was going to be about an hour late.

We're about an hour into the show start,

so he'll be joining us.

Oh, he's late because of archery practice.

All right.

Okay, that's cool.

He's got big archery meat.

So he'll be joining us here in a second.

Waiting on Jen to join us here.

Here's the last of these numbers for the photo studio.

He's reached Courtney Porter.

I'm sorry, I'm not able to...

Courtney, not participating with him.

And the last one I'll do here is I'm going to try to call the one guy out of this list that answered, Big Jeff.

He got a little upset there for a second with me.

Let's see if he can pull his tooth one more time.

He was a little tense.

I didn't notice the tension there.

That's something you don't mess with.

his wife who knows why he got divorced why he doesn't let me get you in on her jimbo stevens

how you doing hello hey man hello man how are you good merry christmas good top of the fucking

morning to you top of the morning to you too are you drinking you said you're gonna drink is that

true no no not today i i suggested it to you that we did a show together and that we got extremely

drunk i can't drink tonight because uh i have to meet a client very soon but oh tomorrow or

or i don't know whenever you want to do what are you doing christmas you want to do a christmas

drunk show or something we could do that yeah let's do that holy shit that's a great idea i

don't really celebrate christmas so um yeah we can do that but i still get time off so it's good

there you go so uh when is christmas tech is christmas monday night or tuesday night this

year what what's the deal uh i don't know well monday night would be uh christmas eve christmas

eve monday night okay so you want to do a christmas eve christmas eve for me christmas

morning for you do you want to do that we could do that yeah yeah yeah yeah we can do that that's

good yeah let's uh let's pencil me down all right let's do that cool all right yeah but we have to

do it yeah okay you want to do it at your fucking time not my convenient time bastard i have to get

up at four o'clock again well what's convenient for you what's convenient for you maybe i can

work well you know then yeah but come in for me yeah let's swap let's sort of um turn it around

shall we just flip the fucking coin and you get up four in the morning well here's the thing

what about the day after christmas because that's a big day here for people to go to stores to

return shit and then that's boxing day over there right yeah yeah all right we can do a boxing day

show you want to do that but i don't know because um that depends on uh my situation i i have to

look into it i can't i can't promise i can do that i can definitely do the christmas thing but i don't

know if i can do it because that would be 27 for me and uh i did have some plans but we we can talk

about that on on facebook i don't want to blast it over the air and make promises i got you i got

all right we'll we'll plan we'll plan to do a christmas day christmas eve something something

next week during the week okay sounds good definitely and we get extremely drunk there

you go all right and extreme and i'll we'll do it you know earlier we'll do it during your

convenient for you and i'll do it you know we'll do it for you guys because it's much easier but

perhaps we start a little bit earlier okay good sounds good all right there you go guys put it

down keep keep the street ear down in the street you know and follow facebook and we'll we'll put

Put it on there when it happens.

All right.

What did I miss, man?

Come on, fill me in.

Nothing.

I got hardware problems.

I got a server that's down.

Nice.

Yeah.

And one prank so far.

No one else has picked up.

Oh, shit.

Yes.

Very successful show.

Very successful.

I'm telling you.

But we'll move right along here.

Ken sent in a request to prank that we can do.

We got someone selling mannequins.

Call up asking for some female mannequins

to keep telling her all kinds of weird shit

you want to do with them.

Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea.

Yeah, it's cool.

Mannequins, that's not my thing.

There's some dudes who are into that.

Oh, yeah, well, I love that.

There's some...

You know, I was in town earlier today in London

and I saw a couple of mannequins.

In fact, I walked past a very nice shop

and I turned my face because this mannequin,

it was strikingly beautiful.

It was wearing, you know, really nice lingerie

and it just, oh, I could have...

Yeah, I hear you, man.

Yeah, I've been there before.

You know, you're walking around, smoking weed, and you're like, hey, that's a good nice little mannequin.

Yeah.

Have a conversation with the mannequin.

Sort of thing, yeah.

How you doing?

Yeah, and then you get kicked out of the store like Milkman.

Where is that guy today, man?

Is he here?

He's not even here.

He's somewhere here.

He's here.

He's connected now.

Store.com.

Ah, Milkman, how are you?

Well, Milkman, it's the 21st over there where Jen is already, so I guess the world is...

Holy shit, it's the end of the world.

Hello.

Welcome to the new galaxy.

Hello.

Yes, hello.

Yes, hi.

You have mannequins for sale?

Yes.

Oh, do you have female mannequins or male mannequins?

Uh, you know what?

I have, uh, male mannequins and one male.

Oh, all right.

And how many, uh, positions can they take?

How many joints, like, do they have joints?

Mm, actually, no, no, they don't.

Uh, these mannequins are basically, uh, from the waist up.

Just from the, um...

So they're not...

Yeah, from the waist up and no arms.

Oh, that's not very helpful.

So all you get is a face and a chest, a torso, that's it?

Yeah, that's pretty much it, like, half of it.

Oh, you don't, so you don't have anything with the legs or anything?

think that's my favorite part of the mannequin i like to look at the legs yeah no i don't know

well i don't know what we can do here with this i don't i don't know you got any ideas

jen i don't know does it have any arms no no no arms unknown arms no legs just the torso

i i remember watching a film a very famous film with uh you know from david lynch you know he's

a very famous horror composer and he made a film where a man removed the arms and the legs of a

woman so that he could abuse her and and uh yeah it was very strikingly shocking so perhaps we could

do something along those lines well what do you mean you're afraid not we'll do whatever we want

with the mannequins how much for a mannequin female mannequin yeah how much well i can be

it's actually an antique mannequin more like a 1975 oh i like that 70s women were always very

hyper and and and sexual hairy natural looking yeah but they've got no legs i know that's the

the problem man uh i like to swing them around by the head do they have hair no hair what about

nips they have nips nips they have what they have any nips nips on them they have any nips lips

no what about lips yeah no no it's just basically the torso is it possible we could cut a hole into

the torso with a knife uh it's most likely yeah can i mold clay onto them i think so yeah because

um um well i don't know what i'm gonna do i shall mold i shall mold the breast of the

mannequin and wear it here's an idea here's an idea all right so my buddy jen he'll hold the

mannequin and he'll put his arms from behind and and he'll pretend he has the arm like his arms

are the mannequin's arms that's excellent and you can pretend you've got the legs yes yeah and then

and then we'll make love and then we'll bounce and hand love excellent idea i like that what

about this man we are speaking with perhaps he can join in as well in some way do you have legs

yeah i doubt it you doubt you have legs you have any no legs at all sir you don't

do you have any legs yeah i have a pair what do you have between them you got a nice big root

you got a big root on you oh oh sorry i ruined it no that's fine i don't know what to do i i

brought you in because i'm like fuck no legs no arms no legs i not much fun all right sorry ken

that didn't work out find find some mannequins with pussies and stuff and then we can work

yeah yeah full fucking size man and everything with it yeah like a real doll uh that's that

you know you don't hear about the real doll anymore because now it's all about the fleshlight

and then uh jenny the flashlight yeah it's pretty good but i've got a tenga flip hole

i'm looking into that thing that those egg things those tanga eggs they are fucking brilliant let

me tell you something those eggs oh goodness i gotta get that so do they come in like a like

an egg carton you buy like six of them you can buy yeah you can buy six of them yeah but

you can use them you can use them again they don't break yeah you work them real delicately

But the better one

Is the double shot man

The one that's got

The cleaner one

Yeah

The double shot

Cleaner one

Oh man

Yeah

The flip hole is good

But I'm telling you

These are smart guys

Right here

Right

The rest of these people

The whole thing

They're gonna be looking now

Right

Wherever you go guys

Yeah

So they come like in shells

And you gotta break open

That's kinda weird

That's a Japanese

You don't have to break the shell

It's like

You just open it up

It's got a

It's got a nodular area

Oh my god

That's so weird

They're gonna fuck an egg

i'm gonna a big ostrich egg here yeah it's it's the rabbit of um they make different sizes

of it now too they even make the different sizes to accommodate you and i hermano i got a big

bowling ball size one that's what i need i got the beer can man the beer cat well for that i'll stick

to the flashlight you know it's like it's a little nice hard to clean the flashlight though you gotta

you know no get the tango they got the one that's actually cleanable designed to be clean you know

I mean, you could reuse the little, the eggy one, but you might as well go ahead and get one.

Might as well, man.

It's like getting the blue label of scotch.

There you go.

That's what you got to do.

You got to pay a little more or you get what you pay for right there.

In this case, I believe you do.

I can get a lot more than you do.

All right, Milkman.

For Christmas, you get me a tang of egg, and then I'll get you the gift I'm going to get you,

and some peppermint oil, and then we're good.

We've got Christmas right there, man.

Dude, that's awesome, man.

I've been waiting for that.

I've been waiting for that boo for two years now.

There you go.

All right, we got someone who's an Indian restaurant

and is looking for a cashier or a cook they're hiring.

It's called Saffron India.

I'm not a big fan of the saffron spice myself.

I don't like shit.

I don't like Indian food at all.

You like talking to them.

I'm curious.

Why don't we place an order and then cancel it?

Yeah, well, they're looking for a cashier or a cook.

All right, Ken's sending this in.

Let's call Saffron India.

Jin, you want this or you want me to?

Yeah, yeah, I want this.

All right, so again, they're hiring a cook or cashier at this Indian restaurant here.

Okay, great.

I'm looking forward to it.

They're in Beverly Hills, California.

Okay.

Thank you for calling 7-Eleven Restaurant.

How can I help you?

Oh, yeah, hi there.

This is Mr. Stewart speaking.

How are you doing there?

I'm sorry?

Mr. Stewart.

I am Mr. Stewart, and I'm calling about the job offer.

Okay.

Bop, bop, bop, bop.

I'm sorry?

I said, bop, bop, bop.

Let me talk to the manager, please.

Our manager is not here.

Here, they leave like around 5 o'clock.

So, okay, can you help me here?

I need to get the job.

I'm poor and I got no money, but I want to come in there and do the cashier thing.

Can I do that?

I recommend to call tomorrow between...

But I'm calling now.

Yes, sir.

Manager cannot speak to you right now because manager is not here.

Oh, okay.

What about you?

Can you give me the job?

Robert?

No, no, you, you.

I want you to give me the job.

Sir, can you call tomorrow between 3 o'clock and 5 o'clock?

Okay, perhaps.

Okay, hold on a second.

Okay, I'll call tomorrow, but today I want to make an order,

and I want to test your ba-ba-ba-ba food.

Sir, would you like to order food for pickup?

Yeah.

Okay, what would you like?

I want to have pilau rice.

A-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop.

A-bop-bop-bop.

That's your funny noises thing that you did a YouTube video that came out this last week, right?

Yeah, you know that seems to really work like I tried it several times with different victims and like

Some of them were just so funny. I haven't released any of the other calls yet, but they went

Fucking nuts. There was one guy who was like, why are you making the noise?

Why why are you making noise?

It's mr. Stewart again, I think we lost our connection there on the phone

I guess so, sir.

Okay, so I worry.

I want to make a pilau rice, and I want to get a...

Sir, I can hardly understand you, what you want to order.

It's a saffron restaurant.

We order the Indian food.

Yeah, pilau, pilau rice.

We don't have this kind of rice.

We have basmati rice.

Okay, give me a basmati rice, and I'll have a chicken tikka masala.

And can, could you hold on a minute, please?

I have a question.

Yeah, boom, boom, boom.

Mr. Mom, thank you.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

A-bop-bop-a-loo-bop.

I got a girl

I love that song

That song gets me excited

I haven't even signed into the chat

I don't even know where it is

I haven't seen the guy in the chat yet

Famous Archer

Another famous Archer

There he is

I get my knee surgery on Monday

I get to talk about my knee surgery

Oh no

It's not knee surgery

Ah, that's what you get for shagging that 16-year-old.

You wacky old dog, you.

You're a wacky old dog.

You hit your knee.

Yeah.

You gotta, yeah, you gotta put the patty in there.

Hit my knee, it went up to my brain.

Up into her brain.

Boy, couldn't be a better way to go, is there?

Couldn't be a better way to go.

She's still connected.

Let's give her a sec.

She's coming back.

I was gonna say, what the fuck is she doing?

She's got a customer, a more important customer now.

Her name's Alex.

Yeah, I'm gonna get really angry about that, so.

You need to call your Turkish bra tonight, man.

oh yeah

Faizan

we have to talk to Faizan

yeah

Faizan the high one

do you think she'll be up

for a little

the last show

thank you

you weren't around

I did a show

I think two shows ago

hey

why don't we call another call

and join into this call

because by the time she comes back

we could already have them ready

yeah

what problem

I'm trying to fix

I think I got the video issue fixed here

I think I might gotta

fix here

give me a second

oh my goodness

how pretty

Jesus Christ

your captain's hat

looks very distinguished

very nice here man

thanks man

thank you sir

you too

you're always handsome

very handsome man dapper man dapper oh shit sorry hang on the mouth i was gonna go on there to

bloody all right all right everybody if what we're waiting here if you guys can jump on youtube check

the youtube the youtube video should be back up and hopefully we got uh we got some uh music and

caller audio working on it now hopefully this fix it fixes it crazy fucker says fuck jen and the

Oh, you're fucking...

Jen, I want you to get scotch.

We're going to drink some, like, men for our Christmas show.

No, sake.

Or absinthe.

Absinthe.

Hello?

Yeah, hi there.

Hello.

Hello, yeah, yeah, what happened there?

I was waiting patiently for you.

Thank you for waiting patiently.

Yes, I had another customer.

A more important customer, but I'm going to be working there, so we're going to be working side by side.

Now, let me carry on with my order.

And you got a pen?

Sir, may I have your name, please?

It's Mr. Stewart. I I called you and I said it's Mr. Stewart. Hi, Mr. Stewart. Hi

Okay, what would you like to order? Okay, one basmati rice white rice or brown brown brown basmati rice, okay

yeah, and

I want to get a

Chicken tikka masala chicken tikka masala bowl or what? Yeah a bowl

Brown rice. I already told you I want brown rice. What are you doing?

Sir, you told me you want side of brown rice.

You didn't tell me you want bowl with chicken tikka masala and brown rice.

Why do you put extra rice with my chicken tikka masala?

Because, sir, you didn't order for me chicken tikka bowl with brown rice.

I wanted my basmati rice and just my basmati.

You don't have to scream, sir.

I can hear you properly.

You just don't know what you're ordering.

Okay, I want to have a basmati rice and a chicken tikka masala and a lamb kurma.

I'm sorry?

A kurma?

We don't have that.

What do you have there?

Oh, my God.

You're at an Indian restaurant.

We're an Indian restaurant.

We serve a thick menu, sir.

And we have chicken tikka, chicken curry, chicken saag, chicken dal, tofu tikka, chana masala.

Oh, stop there.

Stop.

Immediately stop.

Shut up.

I want the dal, the chicken dal.

Sir, I'm eager to help you, but if you're going to talk to me inappropriately, I'll have to hang up the phone, okay?

Why?

Let's agree on that.

And I have other customers online, please, so be respectful.

Give me the order.

Yeah, but you should be respectful.

I'm going to be your colleague.

I'm going to get the job there, and we're going to be working side by side.

Yeah, I doubt with this attitude you will work here, okay?

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

But do you think if I work there...

So, you want chicken tikka masala bowl with brown rice?

What else?

Yeah, okay, that's it.

That's all.

Hello?

Yeah, hi.

That's all I would like.

What is the cost?

Okay, wonderful.

When are you coming back?

When are you coming?

Yeah, just let me ask you about job.

there. What is the working environment? I cannot. You need to come here and you need to fill out

applications, sir, and teach yourself, okay? I don't have time right now, so I apologize about

that. I have customers. So would you tell me what time you're coming? I'm coming five minutes.

Okay, it will be ready. Thank you, sir. You're a liar. What a liar. I was going to ask if I was

going to ask her if we could go and say bye. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Jen, you missed it on a

recent show, but with Faizan, I did the whole order, made a big order and called back and

canceled and she yeah she got pretty mad she got pretty mad really yeah she says shit fuck

asshole motherfucker like this lady was not pleased at all no no no let me just tell you

there's a bloody big fucking echo again is there right now echo yeah i can hear me shit man i don't

know he's echoing a little bit but you seem okay yeah there's technical is it distracting

too distracting for you you think it's very distracting yeah oh he's gone on his end i can

I can barely hear it on my side, but I hear a song on his side.

I see. It's your problem.

Is this the Turkish kitchen?

Yes.

I'm going to put Jim on the line. He wants to make an order.

Excuse me, sir?

Jim. Jim is going to put an order through. Jim, go ahead. Turkish kitchen here.

Yes. Hello. Hello.

Hello.

Hello. How are you?

I'm good.

Excellent.

I'm a friend of Faizan's, and she suggested I make a very nice order over there.

I hung right up.

Wow.

We'll call back. It's all good.

that was rather abrupt

it was

no

gee

what did he do

he connected to the fact

wow timing is impeccable

on this little mistake

hey guys

can I get a check

on the YouTube video

can everyone

confirm at the hangout

if caller audio

and music is working

on YouTube now please

can I get a

high sign or a low sign

I just see

I don't see any video

I guess that woman

never come back

we lost her

I don't know what's going on

I don't know

we're trying to get Turkish

yeah then I gotta pick up

normal says

video contains content

yeah this happens

whenever I

Whenever I play the fucking Charlie Brown Christmas shit,

it gets blocked in Germany because of Warner Brothers.

What?

Warner Brothers owns this music that I play for Christmas time.

Whenever I upload a video, it'll say it has content from Warner Brothers' WMG group.

It's blocked in Germany.

Well, somebody's reporting it or what?

It's automatic.

YouTube, it's all automated now.

Wow, what the fuck?

It actually recognizes the tune.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Wow.

So you've got to change the pitch or something then on it, Armando.

You just need to change the pitch a little bit.

Yeah, if you slow it down.

Just a bit.

Use that Sony found cord, that's it.

That's good.

There you go.

Or bass.

After all of the pitch, just a little bit in the timing, and it'll feel...

Yeah, slow the tempo.

That makes sense, yeah.

Well, that is because I was watching that.

It's going to be intelligible, but maybe not pickable by the machine, because it's

going to be off a few seconds, and the timing's going to change slightly.

I don't know.

There was a song the other day, and I was trying to listen to it on YouTube, and it

it was slower than normal and then the comments people like you you're encoded it wrong it's slow

and the the guy the guy who has the channel is like hey asshole i did it because if you slow

it down um the youtube bot won't pick it up and it lets you keep it on there i forgot what

you gotta change the pitch a little bit and it will pick out that won't recognize that

sound pattern yeah or we can just do this just play mf doom doesn't get blocked because the

the music industry hates mf doom for some reason so we can play this music instead screw the

christmas music we've been playing this since thanksgiving i'm over it world's gonna end anyway

so what's it matter yeah it's all over today ladies and gentlemen collision right now you're

in the middle of the collision right now our two galaxies are in collision at this moment so when

is when is is it supposed does it happen at midnight or is that sunrise for uh for the

mayans mayan sunrise i guess that was funny i saw it i think one of my friends posted a picture

on youtube where there was one of the mayans and he he got like this massive circle calendar thing

and in the speed bubble he was like oh i ran out of space after 2012 and then this other guy was

like oh shit that's gonna freak somebody the fuck out it's gonna freak someone out in a few thousand

years yeah yeah the minds has never said anything that the world was gonna end at the end of the

calendar i think it just they just said oh at some point we'll have to make a new calendar

it's called the end of the long count yeah it's a number system they use in the mayan calendar

and their accounting system.

Do we have any, like...

Supposedly, what it is

is that R2 galaxies

are in collision.

They've seen that

what's going to be

the center of our galaxy

is going to change.

So that's supposedly

what this is now.

We're not necessarily

aligned directly

with the Milky Way now

because Andromeda

have been in collision

with our galaxy

for umpteen years

and four billion more years

for the collision completed.

So, basically,

we're changing neighborhoods.

Andromeda's becoming

part of our galaxy.

Well, I understand

that some people are like,

oh, it means some planets

are going to align

and shit's going to get fucked up.

And some other people are like...

It's not a planetary alignment.

It is not a planetary alignment.

Well, then there's other people saying...

It is a stellar alignment.

But there's other people saying there's a planet...

Galactic alignment.

Some people are saying there's a planet that's hiding behind the sun

that's going to smack into Earth called Nibiru or some shit.

Nibiru, they've been talking about that for a long time.

I mean, there has to be another body out there

because the way the rotation of the solar system is not correct.

There's still something out there we've never found.

Are you Stein again?

He is.

Of course he is.

He says he's looking right outside right now.

No, no. If you take a look at the orbits, it does show that there's something else out there.

We've just never charged it yet.

That's why people have been looking all these years,

because the way gravity shifts everything, it's showing there's something out there we've never found yet.

Okay, I'm very excited to see that.

Nothing will happen today, and then tomorrow will be the same shit.

Tomorrow will be in the new part of the galaxy.

We'll welcome our neighbors from Andromeda starting tomorrow.

Tomorrow they'll say, oh, well...

Do you think they'll have a phone number we can ring them up?

Well, I think there you go.

We'll open a special channel up just for them

and everybody that wants to connect and communicate with the new community.

Well, here we got a Mexican hamburger place, and Mexicans are Mayans,

so why don't we ask them? Maybe they know.

Yeah, maybe they can tell us.

But do we not have any individuals that we can freak out?

Like, you know, we call them up and say, you know,

we're from the, I don't know, electricity place.

We're cutting off all the power.

Hey, hey, hey, what about that Peter guy?

The pedophile that they just busted over there.

They're in England, man.

And, like, they put it on the news, man.

The BBC guy.

He's dead.

We need to find out about that.

Nunu or...

What about you, Jim?

You guys got any information on this guy?

He's dead.

He's a hot topic right now.

You're done.

How would I know about them, man?

BBC guy.

Jim doesn't watch TV.

He doesn't know anything.

He doesn't even know whether BBC...

He doesn't have a TV license or anything.

That's a job for Nunu.

Nunu, you need to report, as always...

Yeah, he does his duty.

...in the name of the madhouse.

98.6, go about.

Doing his duty.

And develop some information.

We need this.

Duty.

Illuminist 5!

Hello?

Yes, hi. Is this La Fuente Burgers?

No, that's not anymore La Fuente.

Oh, are you Mexican?

No, not anymore La Fuente Burgers.

But are you a Mexican man?

No.

What are you?

Who's this?

Well, I'm looking for a Mexican who can talk to me about the Mayans and the end of the world.

You sound like you're a stupid Mexican.

He's not Mexican anymore.

Not anymore, no.

Not anymore.

Let's see if he answers the second time.

He probably won't.

That's cool.

We got Bodega Burger here.

That's a hamburger I don't want to eat.

Hamburger from a bodega.

Yuck.

I want a bodega.

I want some pork, you know?

I want some rice and beans.

I want a hamburger.

I've never been to a Mexican.

You don't have Mexican restaurants?

They're all over the place here.

We have Spanish restaurants, but we're not Mexican.

Spanish like Spain, where they got ceviche and stuff?

Yeah, where they have tapas and...

I hate that shit.

I have tapas here.

What do you mean you hate that?

That's so nice.

They have nice stuff.

They have fajitas and...

Yeah, tapas here.

Sit down, and we're going to bring a small little plate of food for everybody.

and everyone shares off the food.

Who wants that?

No, no, I don't think I've had that,

but I've had lots of these fajitas.

They're really nice.

I do like that.

Fajitas?

Fajitas.

Quesadillas?

Angie?

Quesadillas.

Good stuff.

We've got a Five Guys Burgers and fries.

Bodega Burger Company, this is Debra.

Yeah, do you have Mexicans that work there?

I understand this is a bodega burger.

Excuse me?

Do you have Mexicans that work there?

That's a silly question.

Well, it's a bodega burger.

I need to speak to someone who's Mexican.

What can I help you with, sir?

You can answer the stupid question right because I'm asking a question. What do you need?

Are you looking for service or you just I know that is a fucking rude. Yeah

Don't be so fucking rude. That's just some respect. We're calling you up. You should be fucking polite. Yeah, bitch

Like well, let me think about this for a second. What can I say? I think you stared at the phone for like a half

What

Can you answer the phone like that?

What do you want, you motherfucker?

Bodega Burger Company, this is Debra.

I'd like to make an order, please.

Excuse me?

I'd like to make an order, please.

The restaurant is closed.

It closed at 9 o'clock.

Oh, so we're...

Wait a minute.

You're in New Mexico, right?

You're here in New Mexico?

Yes.

Where are you?

Oh, well, I'm in New Mexico, too.

But I need to speak with, like, you know, Mexicans or anything like that.

And I asked you before.

You didn't answer the question.

You know what?

I don't like this conversation.

I'm the owner, and I'm not a Mexican.

And I do own Bodega Burger Company in Lowndes. So what can I help you with sir?

Well, and you're fucking rude exactly and you don't have any right to be well your question is totally out of line

Well your attitude is out of line. Why is the question out of line? He's asking if there's a Mexican there, right?

He maybe wanted to speak fucking Spanish there. That is an inappropriate type of a question.

How the fuck is that inappropriate? Maybe he's a Mexican.

Shut the fuck up for a minute. If he was a Mexican and was asking for another Mexican

How the fuck is that a racist in any way? That is totally inappropriate. You are a stupid bitch

Okay, you shouldn't be running a business. Well, you shouldn't be calling my business down. Thank you very much

I'm still hearing an echo by the way. It's terrible. Do you want to disconnect to reconnect you want to try that?

No, I want you to sort your fucking echo

Well, how come no man doesn't have echo?

Doesn't have echo.

I don't know yet.

Nah, he's so stoned he doesn't even hear it.

I'm on mute, but his echo is he's hearing.

I can barely hear it on his voice over here, so it must be loud on his side.

Try to reconnect me, Jim.

Okay, all right, I'll try it again.

Blip.

Call right back, Jim.

I think I'd be the best at it.

You might have a better connection from your side.

Yeah, Jim.

How's it working now?

Hello.

Hello, Michael.

Hey, my name is Jim Stewart.

I'm alive at five.

Anything?

Yeah, no?

No?

Yeah, I still hear it.

but it doesn't matter.

Mexicali Gondu.

Damn it.

I'll deal with it

but when we fucking

do the show

I'm streaming.

Okay.

It could be my fault.

This is Brennan.

Yeah Brennan

do you have any Mexicans

that are working there?

What the hell?

Matt how can somebody

get offended by that question?

Oh my god.

What's the big deal?

That makes me very excited.

Why the hell

are people getting upset about that?

There is no need

to get so upset about it.

Seriously.

There's a setting here

I can try to see

if it does echo cancellation.

Give me a sec.

Let me check.

Audio

automatically

Automatically, no.

Advanced.

Let's see.

Microphone, no.

Speakers, no.

Carlito, don't worry about it, man.

I can deal with it for one show.

I'll do it next time, and then I'll stream it on my kit.

Is there an echo now?

Hello, I'm Jim Stewart, and I'm live on the radio.

My website is jimstewart.com, and I'm taking the limelight.

No, there's no echo.

No echo?

I can cancellation.

And you hear me now?

You hear me okay?

Yeah, I hear you fine, yeah.

All right, there we go.

Maybe I fixed it.

Cancellation.

yeah cancel it canceled it out man see look at that you're being so rude and mean to me about

the echo and all you had to do is be nice oh yeah but i'm i'm still gonna stream next week

all right fine that's fine man makes it i don't have a computer so it's all good

works for me thank you for calling five guys on pateo this is richard how can i help you today

where are your potatoes from today sorry what was that where are your potatoes from

they're from blackfoot idaho do you have any mexicans that work there we do could you put

one on please no problem thank you that's service right there very cheerfully accomplished just say

hello i don't know if you want hello yes hi are you a mexican yes oh hi how are you good uh i had

a few questions about this mayan thing that's going down tonight uh do you have mayan ancestry

at all or no well you're uh you were from where mexico your family's from um

what can i do for you yes hi what was your name maida maida oh good yeah listen um the the mayan

calendar thing that's going on i know you're mexican so i thought maybe you'd be the best

person to ask about this what what time does it all happen is it at midnight or is it at sunrise

rise or when exactly hello she clicked it down man i got two parties all right man we got a mayan

family mexican restaurant here we go right cut to the chase uh all right lonesome loser always

has our back paying attention on the side confirming numbers on the side he knows what

he's doing man mayan that's our number for this man mayan family mexican restaurant

yes hi are any are you mexican or are there any mexicans that i can speak with

um i can speak spanish yes well uh this is the mayan restaurant so i had some questions if like

uh do we have until midnight or is it sunrise or what time do things happen tonight um normally

we close we close that until we don't close till 10 tonight so at 10 o'clock and what's is it

because my friend milkman he says that like andromeda is gonna combine with the milky way

what was it that andromeda is gonna combine with the milky way or is it the planet that's gonna

going to come through or how's it going to happen exactly i don't know i don't think i've ever heard

of i don't think i've ever heard any of that before this is mayan family mexican restaurant

and it's december 21st it's supposed to be the mayan apocalypse yes this is yeah yeah so then

you maybe i was thinking you guys are the source you're the mayan embassy so you so you say at 10

p.m what happens exactly what should i look out for well no this is this is the restaurant is

It's called the Mayan.

That's it.

That's it?

Yes.

Are there any Mayans there or anybody of Mayan ancestry that I can speak with?

No, not that I know of.

I don't think so.

Well, are you Mexican or do you just speak Spanish?

I'm Mexican.

Oh, so then you know.

Then you know the secret then.

So what do I need to do?

No, I don't know.

What are you doing to prepare yourself?

Pardon?

What are you doing to prepare?

If your Mayans know all about what to do, how do you get on the mothership?

Well, to be honest, I'm not prepared for anything.

um can you hold on for a moment oh yeah sure honey thanks hello yes hi this is a mexican

it's a mexican restaurant oh mayan family mexican restaurant yes all right so what can i do like

what are you doing to prepare for the mayan apocalypse uh what time is is it at midnight

or sunrise or what time uh what i mean the question like well you know how the big calendar

is supposed to end at some point right and then at that point like something uh bad is supposed

to happen or maybe good supposed to happen the calendar yeah the big mayan calendar i think we

don't have any problem with that oh do you have a calendar there yeah we have it oh can you see

what it says for tomorrow on the calendar you want to see why why you have any pictures yeah

yeah we would like to see well what what does the calendar say for tomorrow like what are the plans

i don't know my friend what are you doing tomorrow tomorrow yeah me uh-huh my day off oh see so you're

You're planning already.

You've got the day off and everything.

Yes.

How do you get on the mothership?

Mothership?

Yeah.

Like, what kind of...

I'd like some tickets for the mothership to take me to safety.

No, no, no, no.

Mothership.

You don't have any idea and no information about to get on the mothership?

No.

El barco de la madre.

Who?

El barco de la madre.

El barco de la madre?

Yes.

El barco de la madre.

No, no, no.

Come on, man.

You can tell me.

Come on.

I'll suck your dick.

I'll suck your dick if you let me get on.

Eddie Garcia was not too happy with it.

I was like, it's dead.

F-Buck, your mother.

F-Buck, the mother.

Call it back.

Let's call it back.

He was cool, man.

I liked him.

Let me talk to him.

He's got the day off.

He knows what's going on.

It's a secret.

He looked on the calendar.

He confirmed it for us, folks.

He's got his tickets for the mother's show.

Everybody taking a day off.

My Mexican restaurant.

This is Silvia.

How may I help you?

Hola, senorita.

Can I speak to the other guy please um one other guy? I was talking to a gentleman a moment ago

I called earlier. I'd like to be to him again, please um

Okay, um hold on for a moment. Yeah, okay?

How do you how do you embark with that I was like

he was like he was like how did you know about that

you know when he picked up he was like hey man

this is what they're gonna play in that mothership yeah yeah and the lifts and everything

i wonder if there is a big ship like they had in that film 2012 or the you know three of them

did you see that did you see that movie no i never saw it it looked kind of crappy good movie

is really good with, what's his name, John Cusack.

What the hell was that about?

You got cut off, somebody.

I'll try him again.

Yeah, please.

We've got to speak to that guy again.

We've got to get on this Barco de la Madre.

Yeah, we have to.

He was cool.

Ken, I'm talking about an elevator.

Ken is chatting in the chat.

Hello, Eddie Garcia.

Yeah, hi.

This is Mr. Stewart.

How are you, senor?

Hola.

Hello.

He knows about the mother ship.

He doesn't want to have Barco de la Madre.

He doesn't fancy a bum at all.

It's a secret.

They're not allowed to talk about it.

they'll lose their

they'll lose their seat

on the mothership

that's the thing

thing with the madre

what do you mean

barco de la madre

alright

we got another

Mayan Mexican restaurant

that's a wicked show title man

if we don't get

a better show title

embarco de la madre

tonight on Madhouse

we'll be auctioning off

two tickets

for the barco de la madre

shit

how much

what is it

a two week cruise

yeah it's forever

all expenses paid

never coming back man

14 nights

15 days

you go to Mayan

fucking the Mayan planet

close the mail

there's a different

This is a different way. All right, you started but do this in barcode that up on my Mexican restaurant. This is Ali

How may I help you? Yes, I was wondering about the tickets. So what I wanted to see about getting some tickets ticket for what?

They're for buy a bottle then I'm out there. Um, can I put you on hold for just a second? Yes, please. Thank you

Okay, same music

Yeah, see they're all in on this together fucking is the secret Illuminati on the other line

Okay, call again because they're playing games. We're not playing game. We're not it's a different restaurant

Carlos, how are you?

Yes.

Yes, hi.

I was looking for tickets.

Do you have the tickets?

Can I get some?

This is the Mayan Mexican restaurant.

Yeah, they said the Mayan had the tickets for the Barco de la Madre.

No, I really don't know what you're talking about.

Well, I know it's a secret, but I know that the big mothership is coming tomorrow to pick up the Mayans to escape from the Mayan calendar.

I'm telling you, man.

It's going down.

They don't want to tell anybody.

It's a Mexican revenge.

They're like, oh, we're leaving all these crackers.

all these white people what's wrong let's just share a few seats come on but they got roof some

vips in there yeah you don't have any room on the mothership for a few of us white people to get on

no we don't i'm sorry well can you at least tell me what time is coming around is it at midnight

or sunrise or when does it happen i'm not quite sure i guess you'll have to come and see what

you can do because i honestly don't know do you have your ticket are you mexican i'm not oh so

So you don't have tickets either?

No.

So what are the Mexicans around there saying?

Like, they all know about this, right?

No, they don't.

I know there's a big mothership that's coming,

and it's supposed to pick up all the friends of the Mayans

to escape the world before midnight or noon

or whenever it is that it's supposed to happen.

Rather abruptly disconnected there.

I think the Mayans are monitoring.

Let me tweak, let me tweak.

Team Mayan services.

Monsters.

We're calling my Mexican renter.

How can I help you?

Hello, can I speak to Carlos Carlos Ricardo? Uh-huh. I want me or him. No, I want him. I

Think he's the big boss man

Hello, Carlos. Hello. Hello. It's a steward. How are you? What do you want?

I want to ask you about embargo de la madre, you know

The first rule of Barco de la Madre is you don't speak about

Oh, Barco de la Madre.

All right.

Here's a different place, a different Mayan Mexican restaurant.

They're in Washington State.

How do I say I want to mount his mother?

How do I mount your mother?

Quiero montar tu madre.

You tell him that.

All right, I will.

Here's a new one.

Or the mother, the mother.

Just la madre.

Oh, yeah.

Quiero montarla.

Buenas noches, Mayan Mexican restaurant.

Yes, hi.

Hi, do you have any more tickets for the Barco de la Madre?

Who?

Barco de la Madre, do you have any more tickets?

Barco de la Madre.

No, no, I don't understand, amigo.

What are you saying?

There's a big mothership that's going to pick up everyone before the end of the world tomorrow,

and you're supposed to pick up the Mayans and the friends of the Mayans.

Okay, you say who's going to pick it up from the Mayans?

Yeah, from the Mayans.

I want to get a ticket.

The ticket?

For the mothership, Barco de la Madre.

You thought about that for a long time.

I think the Mayans hacked us.

The people in the chat room are saying that the stream's down.

Stream went down?

It should have come back up.

Yes, hi.

Can I get some tickets, please?

I'm sorry?

Can I get tickets to the mothership?

Well?

Yes.

How much are they?

Or what do I have to do to become friends with you so we can get on the mothership tonight?

What?

What are you talking about?

There's the Mayan calendar.

She asked and then she hangs right up.

I hung up on everybody.

oh fuck that was my fault whoops i hit the wrong button she hung up on everybody the second i said

that was my fault i hung up on everybody in accident all right let me call him

let me call milkman here he is milkman the mothership's landing man i don't know what

happened man that was me i'm getting that freak problem i hung up on everybody back out of it i

hung up on everybody that's what happened all right all right all right here's the thing in

now how the hell do i stop that you hear the oh you're an android that's why let me call you back

on the phone not android okay hang on there i want yeah i wonder how you say in in um bengali

or an indian uh to mount your mother let me just try and find out yeah that's a good one or the

mother mount the mother because we don't want to say mothership oh google have put up a fucking

a very cool thing uh what do they call them again a doodle they've put up a um a mayan calendar

Doodle please enjoy the music while yeah

It's the end of the Mayan calendar, that's why hey we got your bag. This is a little more reliable than that Android Skype

That was weird. Yeah, cause all I hear is like boop boop boop. Yeah, it'll keep going and going that's Skype for Androids

It was driving me crazy. I thought my phone was going black for a second there. It wouldn't quit. I even shut the application down

Yeah Skype for Androids. Are you using your Android phone? I've got my new Samsung Galaxy S3

i should uh yeah yeah you're actually one of the people that help us to identify the vote out there

apple now is taking second seat to android welcome to the new age this is part of the whole

andromeda uh milky way collision that's going on tonight that's why they call it the galaxy

galaxy phone galaxy s3 right so hey man this is the version coming version three it's all part

of it we got i have the lte version so i get 4g oh shit oh man you get man you get that 1200

Or the 1800. Yeah, what do you got Jen? I don't know. How do I find out you get the blue label?

How do I find out I'm on the phone now? Oh, well you hit the hit the off button. You're a dick

Hi Tristan, I pray Sally. How you doing there Mike? You sound like shit. Yeah, it does. Who is it?

Tristan sounds like shit. Just gonna drop you. Yeah

i just posted a number in uh skype chat dirty aaron is currently at this location what where

yeah i put it in skype chat all right let me see oh hell yeah what's he does he know we're

gonna call him does he know i know his real name we gotta call him you should he uh i've talked to

him on uh skype chat uh he's on a mobile device he's there right now okay all right um so wait a

minute does he tell you to call like he said this is where i'm at call now or did he did he just

Did you do social engineering and figure out where he was?

That's my question.

No, he just told me that he's at the store right now.

I said, what location?

He fucking told me everything.

I looked it up.

He's crazy.

All right, let's call.

See if we can hear this.

Cool.

What is this place?

Do you know?

What is it?

It's a grocery store, I believe.

Oh, nice.

All right.

All right, well, we'll do a page for Cross.

We'll see if he hears it.

Good evening.

Hi, Goodwin.

This is Paula.

How can I help you?

Hi, Big Paula.

Could you page someone for me?

It's very important that I speak to them.

They need to get their tickets for the ship.

hello hello yes i could you have someone paid for me so you're for verito yes uh yes his name is

cross valente what is it cross is the first name his last name is yeah cross valente cross yeah

thank you well that'll make him laugh if he's you know i just want to see if he hears something

yeah i heard him call for girl we'll do another we'll do another call while we wait for more talk

about the mothership um tristan if you want to be on there was a weird hiss on your end of the line

and an echo internet was there an is there an echo now well there was a second

second i think we're running out of bandwidth guys this is what happens when we start running

out of bandwidth attacking punky must have a lot of people on how many people are on our call now

four yeah now we're getting okay yeah so model number is gti9305 so what does that say to you

i don't know i'm saying milkman has a plan milkman what's your plan with this thing

making jim look like you got to look up your version your version you go to about oh you

want to know what my version is oh okay hold on no no he's got a set have you got an s3 as well

no he doesn't i do he has a s3 he has a u he has a u.s s3 do you have an lte with with 4g i do i

have i got lte though i got the lte he's got the s3 i've got the four i've got i've got lte i've

got 4g but it's hspa uh this is the echoes coming from the oh you want a 4g network do they have

it's like six it's like six down that bitch that bitch hung up i hung up because it was echoing

from her i don't know i think i got like five up it was almost equivalent it's just about the

metric it was like six down and five up whenever it was running when i had it on yeah i've got 4g

but it's remember i was driving around with the kite on in my car and you watch me do

driving down the interstate yeah yeah it looked pretty cool that was yeah i was on lp then yeah

that's why it was coming in for good yeah but you went over the bridge what's up ken i got

outdated news it's uh 1204 and i'm still alive here on the east coast maybe it's west coast i

don't know what it's 503 and i'm still alive here on the bloody other side of the sea i think it's

supposed to be sunrise though so i don't know what time is sunrise officially that's what it is is

the apocalypse doesn't give a shit about people in the uk they can sit and rot yeah yeah fuck it

fuck it it's the americans go first all right hey uh i posted a number for the maya tequila bar in

australia it's uh 4 p.m hey jen hey how are you man doing great how about yourself yeah i'm all

right man awesome good to hear your voice again fucking haven't heard you in ages yeah yeah all

right so maya tequila bar in south yara australia i have no idea yeah it's 4 p.m there so you could

ask them how the apocalypse is going so far for them did it start already over there will you get

the heads up all right let's tell them we're worried over here let's do that we want to get

at the street beat on the oh it's not formatted though let me see it's uh yeah i just copied and

pasted what was on their website yeah i'm gonna put some help give me a second zyklon you're here

but i think you're on android are you an android zyklon yes you're getting that ring i can hear it

okay let me call you back yeah zyklon gets that too milkman the problem you get with uh

it was because microsoft microsoft wants if you're going to use skype they're going to

they pay more attention to the windows phone version of it apparently is what they're going

going to start doing um because the microsoft phone skype and they want people to use windows

phone 8 that's their that's their shit now that's their shit i knew that shit was going to happen i

knew i knew microsoft was going to stop paying attention to skype and make it their own thing

and start marrying but they're they're doing some facebook shit with skype too now apparently

they're doing this whole thing with skype and facebook together and all this shit i don't know

microsoft man facebook is just getting really annoying man now they're trying to take over

all your pictures and everything you know i'm thinking like i only got a few pictures up i'm

gonna pull down the ones i got i don't like it i don't want to use my picture somewhere i don't

know well jen you're paranoid man i don't care who sees well jen you've seen you've seen my

personal uh facebook yeah i've seen your personal facebook i don't like any of my certain pictures

out there so like you know pictures of my milkman i gotta change it it's gonna be like a box

of milk here pretty soon box of milk jen jen tell everybody what's my profile uh picture from my

regular my real life you want me to tell them that because i don't know that maybe they can

can find you okay it's a it's a black picture that's it's yeah it's just the black box i thought

maybe you were depressed he didn't want anybody to see your face it's a close-up of ambo with the

lights off smile he's sambo real close to his forehead carlito call that grocery store bag

dirty erin said nothing came over the pa that dirty bitch all right yeah i got it and i'm also

going to try to figure out how to format this australian number here for big bass did you see

mine here i can work on that if you want yeah if you can help me out there you go he's done

done them before oh yeah what what did i see your picture jim what what are you uh that's yeah it's

you your picture is on you yeah with the lamp the lamp what what's that about anyway it looks

it's a philosopher you know you know you know diogenes yeah i heard about that yeah he was

looking for an artist man so i tried to do like a certain thing oh okay all right cool well there

you go very nice very fancy of you why is this whole feeling come on damn it wait how do i get

this stupid skype on my android uh go to the google play store the marketplace yeah i'm in

the play yeah skype yeah and download it and you hit install and then accept it and download oh i

got it i got it i'm doing that yeah it's good it's good like if you're out and stuff but if you need

it but not for like for show purposes it's a shit oh okay so it's not going to be better than what

i'm doing now no no no i wouldn't say there's no point in me trying yes hi would you page

Cross Valente I asked you before what happened nobody came well can you get

them twice all right well can you you pay twice really and they didn't come

yes I did no no no response no response at all no all right well gosh okay oh

well what about Eddie's Eddie there I don't know an Eddie can you pay no Eddie

Garcia no don't know any of these people well can you page Eddie Garcia are you

looking for an employee or customer hey what's Eddie's last name Garcia

see ya anyway uh we'll wait on that she's got an echo that comes back though i don't like um yeah

i'm hearing echoes man what do you got over there i thought you had a good setup my setup's all

fucked up did you see my server did you see the video feed here you didn't see before my server

it's sitting here on my desk it's there's a motherboard here that i'm working on

okay yeah a mothership the barcode on my other days right here

that's what i'm saying eddie garcia was paid all right cool there you go

all right well we went on that we're gonna call i'm gonna tell him to go to the front

desk get the phone please page aaron we'll page aaron next i won't i won't drop his real name on

the air i'm happy yeah may i speak with eduardo please eduardo he's gone for today sir are there

any other mexicans that work there right now uh no they don't know i mean the manager he's gone

for today are you mexican or what are you yes uh do you have tickets for the mothership no oh why

did you not get tickets i mean why did you not get any tickets for balco de la madre um not today sir

well no you're supposed to have them well i'm not the owner here yeah i know but you're a mexican

and you have tickets for the mothership that's coming to take all the mayans away no no no you

know about the calendar no no come on tell me the truth you know what's going on i know it's

I'm busy right now, sir.

Are you going to place your order?

Yeah, I'll suck your dick if you just tell me when the ship is coming.

You know what? Shut the fuck up, man.

Come on, I'll suck your dick, man.

Fuck you, stop.

I do it really good.

What did he say? Fuck you, what?

Fuck you, sir.

Fuck your dick.

I'll suck your dick, man.

You know what? Shut up, man.

Hello?

Sir?

Yeah, did you get Eddie?

Nobody.

Does anyone have tickets to the mothership there?

Does anybody what?

Have tickets for the mothership?

I cannot hear you, sir.

You have tickets for the fucking mothership.

This is a grocery store, sir.

Yeah, I know.

Because there's Mexicans there,

and they have all the information about the mothership

that's coming to pick up the Mayans tonight.

Thank you, sir.

Bye.

Derry said he would have got the line,

but he was fucking standing in line right now,

so he couldn't go up there and grab it.

Yeah, and his white ones.

Carlito, the reason she's not hearing you

is because you turned on the echo thing.

Turn off echo cancellation, then she can hear you again.

I don't think it's got anything to do with the echo on your end.

it basically well there was a ring going on too i think that was why because of the ring yeah but

that was that was blocking you out oh yeah okay yeah thanks man that's a great story thanks yeah

all right i've now changed my pictures off of facebook now thank god all right well they're

still wait wait let me see yeah are you a mexican sir sorry are you a mexican hello

people get very offended yeah let's listen to the back question i'd be proud if i was

what happened to racial pride right you know you know they're gonna they're not allowed to talk

about it they're gonna fucking change the uh data at the end of the world you keep fucking uh

getting in there on them fuck he knows the date we're gonna have to change it yeah like no one

else is talking about it right uh bridge sent in a number for a wiener schnitzel it has a drive

through order what 12 35 what what is this okay wait a minute call there's wiener schnitzel had

had a drive-thru order.

Wiener Schnitzel.

Yeah, that.

The German thing.

Those are rocking.

They're really nice.

It's basically a pork escalope

covered in golden breadcrumbs.

Very good.

Bridge sent in a number.

Bridge sends in a number

and he says,

Wiener Schnitzel

had a drive-thru order

at 10-12 Eastern

for 12-35 and 10-31.

I don't even know

what he's talking...

Bridge, I don't know

what the hell

you're talking about.

There's one right down there

by Yonex.

There's one...

It's only about, like,

reblock from Yonex, man,

right there.

Yonex!

Yeah.

What the hell is that?

You're familiar with Yonex, aren't you?

It's about three blocks from there, they got one.

What is this?

That's something the guy did, too.

What is this, a restaurant chain you're talking about?

I never heard of this.

Yeah, we eat our schnitzel hot dogs, man.

They are the best, dude.

You can get them now for five for a dollar.

You get a chili dog, it's in a nice, off-team bun.

You get a whole beef rank that's covered with a very nice chili.

It's not too tomato-y, and it's not too spicy.

It's just right.

And you can get onions on it.

I'm hungry.

Five for five.

Or five for five, I'm sorry.

Five for five.

Five hot dog, man.

Wow, hot dogs are cheap, though.

If you can eat five of them and not get filled up, dude, you're in trouble, man.

I can eat five hot dogs.

This is like a challenge.

Yeah, Bridge said that you guys had a drive-thru order at 10-12 for $12.95, $12.35.

No, that's too late.

Do you have an order, though?

I mean, our drive-thru might cost $10.45.

Yeah, but it says at 10-12 there was the order $12.35, a drive-thru order, and $10.31 for $8.20.

What was that?

and another you had an order at 10 40 9 30 i don't know some guy said that there was a problem

what problem is it well there's a problem because it came out wrong came out wrong yeah

do you use filtered water or what do you use i i mean i if i don't know the code i mean i don't

know the order i mean i have the code i i mean i don't know the i i don't know what's happening

i don't know either like bridge said hey this guy's wiener schnitzel has the drive-thru order

I think...

No, today night, stupid.

night yeah don't be stupid come on man what do you mean morning why would i call now

I know, but I don't know what's wrong with that.

You're going to tell me what's wrong with that.

He doesn't like it.

He said it was not good.

It's not good?

Yeah.

You mean the taste?

Yeah.

I have no idea, but you can...

Can you write that down?

Write this down.

Are you ready?

Can you write down a message?

Give me a second.

All right.

Wait.

Where are you calling from?

I'm calling from El Balco de la Madre.

Where is it?

Oh, it's...

El Balco de la Madre is about 20 feet up right now.

20 feet.

Wait.

Give me a second.

Let me...

Hello?

Yeah.

Yes.

Can I help you?

Yeah.

Yeah, we had a problem.

We had a drive-thru order at 10, 12 p.m.

It was $12.35, and there was another one at $10.31 for $8.20.

Okay, what did you order?

It was like wieners, you know, like hot dogs.

I'm sorry?

Hot dogs.

No, no, what kind of hot dogs?

Oh, Milkman.

What do they got there?

What do they put on them?

Can you get the chow mein?

We'd like to get the chili dog, the chow mein, extra onion.

The chow mein, chili dog, and extra onion?

Yeah.

Okay.

What time did you guys come here?

I'm sorry, you didn't say 6 or what?

10, 12, and then at 10, 31, and then we also...

In the morning, you mean?

Yeah, and then we came in at 10, 31, and then also at 10, 40.

Oh, okay, because I work only at night, so...

Well, you drive a piece of shit.

I did not know anything about it, I'm sorry.

And what I can do here is I'll leave the day shift manager for tomorrow.

I'll leave it to him, and I'll give you his number, and...

Yeah, well, tomorrow I have to...

I'll let him know.

Tomorrow I'm getting on the mothership.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

Is there anything I can help you with?

Hey, hey, Cross.

Yeah.

Hey, remember the mothership.

They said that there's no restroom facilities on there.

We better ask them how long it takes to take a dump after we eat one.

Yeah, how long after we eat these things to take a shit in the toilet?

What?

How long after we eat these do we have to take a shit in the toilet?

Because when we get in the mothership, they don't have any toilets on them.

The mothership doesn't have any bathroom toilets.

so then we were thinking if we have a bowel movement before then it would be okay because

neither of us had to hold it for a very long time you know what my dog tastes like it tastes like

some mexican took my hot dog and placed it between his ass cheeks fucking disgusting this is very bad

i mean we don't want that to be the last thing that we tasted on this earth yeah it's like

bad hot dogs there's nothing worse than eating a bad hot dog hello i want the mexican to report

to me right now this is hog shit hung up on him he's just sitting he's all i'm confused too i

I don't know what Bridge just said.

That's some weird shit.

I'm like, all right, we're calling it.

All right, Bridge, man, you got it.

That's your prank.

Let's call him back.

Let's fuck with him some more.

He's as confused as I am.

Can I have a go?

Yep.

Ask him how many hot dogs he can eat for him.

I'll paste exactly what this guy sent over, Jen.

No, I'm just going to do my twist on this.

All right, we'll just...

He's not going to pick up.

I think they're closed up.

You know, check out that wiener schnitzel.

They don't have those around here, so I don't know.

You guys are in the West Coast.

You're the bomb, man.

They are the bomb.

Well, they're the bomb.

Seriously.

Their sauce is good, man.

That's their trick.

Besides all, you know, they've got bean bun and everything.

Sauce is a trick for them, for sure.

When I went on a skiing trip to Austria, they were serving it in a very nice, the place

I was staying, a very nice restaurant.

And what they did is they put like a slice of lemon on it, and it was hard.

What?

Yeah.

Wiener Schnitzel with a little bit of lemon, a little slice of lemon, and you just drain

the lemon into it, and it's just absolutely delicious.

That sounds weird.

But you said it's not a sausage, right, Jen?

it's uh no no no it's just yeah it's it's a it's an escalope it's a pork escalope and then they

basically just cover it with uh golden breadcrumbs and um it's brilliant it's great i mean i was at

a restaurant in munich and i was thinking i was getting a sausage and i was kind of surprised

when it showed up but it was it was awesome is it in a bun like a hot dog and it's just different

no no no it's a steak it's like a steak oh shit that sounds good cutlet oh man get some of that

wiener schnitzel there you go there's another good one it's only in the bay area when you

you fucking learn to pronounce it carly day vina schnitzel i don't know vina vina vina vina i don't

know what do you think i am why am i gonna talk like that who do you think i am spanish spanish

i saw that coming yeah that's for that one all right let's so bridge also said to all right

call little caesars at this number tell them they have to bring 10 large extra pepperonis

to a new store in webster for setup crew corporate will cover costs be sure to request extra

pepperoni you can't give a phone number because the power tools are creating too much interference

okay sounds like an inside job here that we're being put up to uh all right bridge man you're

the boss whatever you want bridge we're the prank monkeys here whatever you say

it's busy busy bridge bridge is busy let's see what uh let's see what lonesome has here

Pegasus

They also reformatted

That number for you

Okay

Alright did you just

Golden bread

Let me find it again

Yeah

I see you're typing

I see your little pencil

Also the

Got people in the chat

Saying the

Stream seemed to be

Down

What

Completely

Are we living in the past

I'm not seeing that

Are you just

Scroll down man

I got dream playing

Dream playing

But I'm on

Directly on the stream

20 minutes ago

Or something

No I just

Clicked on the shoutcast

And it's not playing

The same show

No

Oh yeah

Oh, this is playing an old episode.

You're right.

Now I'm actually...

All right, well, let me fix that.

Shit, no one's listening to the show at all.

Just YouTube.

Let me fix it.

Hang on.

You know, what I think happened is that it bounced for a second.

It bounced for a second.

I see what happens.

I see what happened.

It bounced for a second, and I think...

Oh, RBCP rotation's on.

He stole our fucking server.

No, he didn't.

Hey, listen, listen, because...

He masterminded it.

Are you listening, Milkman, before you get...

I'm just fucking joking.

Before you start a problem here?

Big mess?

No, man.

He's a punk, man.

He just stole our stream.

It's all right.

You're an asshole, RBCP.

No, Brad's been streaming for me because my server's down.

Got their cactus thorns still on our side.

Never mind.

Why even try to explain it to mental idiots like Milkman, right?

Uh-oh!

He's not there!

All right, we're back on Madhouse.

All right.

We are back.

Alright, GTP's work is done, man

I don't know what you're saying

because Miltman is talking

What did you say, Bastard?

I don't know

Oh, sorry, Ken said something

What did you say, Ken?

I'm just saying I'm not a crazy bastard

I'm keeping up on the check, come on now

We got Greek restaurants here

They don't know anything about the Mayans

Maybe they do

Who came first, the Greeks or the Mayans?

Ancient Greeks or Ancient Mayans?

That's a good question

Because the Greeks think they invented everything

Greeks have been around a long time, friend

My eyes were only

Barely a thousand plus years

For this holiday party

I was going to make a baklava, right?

And I couldn't find phyllo dough to make it

And I called my father-in-law

My wife's dad, Athena's dad

And I'm like, well he's Greek and he runs a restaurant

He knows, and I was like, hey where can I get some phyllo dough

Last minute, and he was like, what do you want that for?

like i want to make a baklava for this holiday party so you're gonna make baklava like yeah

it was you don't know how to make baklava so i said i have i have a recipe sir and it's like

yeah whatever if you want to make baklava come over and i'll make it for you i'll teach you how

to make it's like can you just tell me where do we get by i got so mad at him i was like you're

such an you can be such an asshole something we should call him bloody hell you love that idea

my wife got home and was like where are you mad yeah listen you you think did you invent

invent baklava the greeks say that again please did you greeks invent the baklava we make baklava

yes do you think you invented it see wow see that that's what they got tell them that you think that

the turks invented it oh man all right we'll call it you can call the turkish kitchen and tell them

the greeks invented it uh he was yeah but he didn't believe me then i made it and then i brought

him a piece the next day and he's like this is actually pretty good he called me the computers

don't work i fixed the computer i went over to his house to fix the computer and i gave him a

piece of the baklava this is pretty good but it's not greek baklava like yeah i didn't say i was

making greek baklava i didn't tell him it was lebanese baklava ungrateful bastard yeah it was

it wasn't the same and didn't have honey in it i made the i used the lebanese version of it i

shouldn't have made the i found a turkish baklava recipe i shouldn't have made that i really frosted

his nuggets all right let me try the fat greek again and maybe i misdialed it here i gave a fast

busy we get can we get five on the line or jen already blow that um someone else was there

No, I can't. Why would I blow it, man?

Oh, you'd blow a Faisal.

Oh, I'd blow everything.

You'd try to dip his balls of Faisal in your mouth.

I'd go ballsy, but I wouldn't.

I think I would.

She looks angry, and I would love her to remember that.

In the back week.

Yeah, listen.

Your baklava that you have there, does it have honey, or do you use simple syrup?

Honey.

Honey, why?

I'm sorry?

Why?

What's that?

Why?

Why do you not use his simple syrup?

Why don't I use simple syrup?

Yeah, I had the Turkish baklava.

It was a lot better.

They don't use honey.

They use simple syrup, and they use pistachios.

Yeah, well, that's the Turkish way to do it.

It tastes, it's superior.

Yeah, the Turkish one was superior.

Well, if you like the Turkish, you'll like it.

I mean, everybody has their own taste.

Oh, I don't like Greek people.

I like Turkish food better than Greek food.

Oh, that's good.

I'm glad.

Yeah, the Turkish food and the Turkish pastries are way better.

Oh, I'm glad you like them.

Can you make a Turkish version for me?

No.

Well, so your baklava always comes with honey?

Yes, sir.

Do you have sugar there, like sugar that you can cook with?

Yeah.

Here's what you do.

You take three cups of sugar and you and you mix it with water and lemon and orange flower orange flower water

Extract and you boil that and instead of honey, that's what you put on the baklava. Okay. All right

Would you be willing to try that?

No, we have our way that we make it and yeah, but my way is better my way is better

Well, that's your opinion. No, it's a fact. This is proven fact. It's in this book that I'm reading here

Oh, okay. It says that the Turks like the Turks invented baklava. It says. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Yep

Yep. I don't have anything else for you.

You guys got anything for this guy?

What happened to the customer is always right, you cocksucker.

Hey, I was just reading on...

Usually customers don't talk rude on the phone.

Hey, listen, buddy. Listen, buddy.

We're not customers. We're fucking... We're geniuses.

Listen to us. You're what?

We're geniuses. You're geniuses?

Oh, then why do you call me if you're geniuses?

Because we want to tell you what to do.

You understand? And then you have to do it.

Like, if we say, put your hands on your head,

then you put your hands on your head.

If we say go out and fucking jump on El Baco de la Madre, then you go out and you do that

Yeah, yeah, and if we tell you to open your mouth and I put my paws in your face

He's lost it, man, he's lost it

Let's try him again

I like how when you asked him if he could make the Turkish version, he just goes, no

No

Yeah

No

Hello?

Fuck yeah

Well, you got that in there, that's cool, alright

What else, we got Ulysses Voyage, a Greek person answered there, big surprise, Greek food, Ulysses, awesome

Awesome. Greeks invented democracy, also. They invented bisexuality.

Yeah, they have the ancient Greek philosophers. They founded our social...

Lesbians. They invented lesbians. God bless them for that.

Let me try this.

Thank you for calling me, Mr. Vargas. How are you doing?

Yeah, hi there. How are you doing?

I'm good, thank you. How are you doing?

I'm all right, thanks. Listen to me. My name is Mr. Stewart, and what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to shut everybody down in preparation for the apocalypse.

I'm sorry?

I say I'm trying to shut every business down in preparation for the apocalypse.

Okay, uh, good luck.

No, what do you mean good luck? I need you to close down immediately.

Hello?

Oh man.

There's too much going on in the background there. He's not going to be interested in that.

You have to get a place that's quiet, then they understand.

Yeah, you know I'm in the mood for peanut butter. Just saying.

Good evening, Ulysses. How may I help you?

Mr. Stewart again. What happened to closing your business?

Closing my business?

Yeah, immediately shutting down in preparation for the apocalypse.

You need us to shut down our business in preparation for the apocalypse?

Yes, yes, immediately, because the world is coming to an end today.

Today?

Yeah, right now, right now.

Okay, well, what difference does it make if I shut the business down?

Yeah, I want you to close now, what do you mean?

Why?

Because this fucking world is going to end. We're all going to die, man.

Am I going to save the world if I shut the business down?

No, but you have to go home and you have to talk with your mother and everything. Oh, okay. Well, what time?

Right now man. I'm telling you close the fucking shop get everybody out go the fuck home. Yes, sir

Yes, sir

Okay, well I'm gonna have to go now there

Yes, sir

Yes, sir. Okay, the world is ending. I'm very happy. I sit here and wait.

I got a buckle I want to make. Sorry, I see you.

Hey, didn't we order the saffron Indian, food from saffron Indian, beginning of the show?

We never canceled that. Hang on. Let me get that.

Totally forgot to cancel that. Can you send that number in? Here we go.

Saffron India. What did you order? Basmati rice, gin? What was it?

Oh, I don't remember.

I did. Fucking, she's not going to make that.

You don't think? Let's see if she did. I'm curious. I'm curious.

All right. Okay. What did I do? Accent. Did I do?

Oh, yeah, I did the American guy.

Ho, ho, ho.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah.

It might be closed.

Yeah.

We're going to find out.

Stefan Beverly Hill, how can I help you?

Oh, hi there.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

This is Mr. Stewart.

I called earlier today, and I was inquiring about the job there that you got there, and

I made an order.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

How can I help you?

Yeah, what happened to my order?

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Here waiting for you.

No, it's not.

You're a liar.

Pardon me?

I said you're a liar, and a cheat, and a thief, and a bitch.

Is there something I can help you with?

Yeah, I want you to make the order and put your face inside it.

Excuse me?

I want you to take the order.

The pilau rice.

And I want you to put it in your nose, and your ears, and your eyes, and your ass.

Hello?

Nope.

She didn't like the bitch part. That's where it started going down, you know?

God, I was fucking dying from that last call when you were yelling at that fucking guy.

Yeah, people in the chat were saying that was pretty good.

hey zyklon you're back do you fix your shit your shit's working yes i had to completely restart my

phone fuck that man fucking android i know but anyway we were frustrated the kitchen where's

tristan at tristan i mean jen i i've literally had fucking tears coming out of my mouth you know

we should try it we should try it again with an individual like a private person and call them up

because over here it's now 5 30 if you've got uk numbers we call them now and i'll start you know

screaming and shit and telling the world's gonna end it's ending now it's been recommended in the

chat that he calls with the white devil voice and started just as soon as they pick up tom

the world's fucking edited the fucking white devil there you go hey i want to ask you zyklon

so uh all the talk about banning guns that's some bullshit man uh you heard any word on the

street yet about that people okay let me let me tell you what's gonna what has been said

there's talk about renewing the federal assault weapons ban okay that clinton basically and bush

right okay that's really all that's been said honestly i don't think it's gonna pass um yeah

you know it's horseshit because like but here's the thing like cnn came out like two days ago

under like 53 of americans uh uh you know approve banning guns altogether or restricting assault

weapons at least it's you know it's fucking horseshit i don't i don't see why because

Because what happened to those kids, you know what happens is the criminals go to the safe zones where they know no one's going to be armed to protect themselves.

You know what I'm saying?

That's why they go to these places.

Carlito, are you sure you aren't a member of the NRA by chance?

I'm not.

I don't own a gun.

I've never shot a gun in my life.

You know what I was going to tell you, Carlito?

Here in Michigan, they were getting ready to pass a law to where people could carry guns going into churches and schools and shit like that.

And the governor ended up shooting it down.

Shooting it down.

But what I was going to say about assault rifles and different things like that,

you never hear about the minuscule amount of people that have all these guns

and they sit in their homes, nothing ever happens with them,

but then you get these one or two nutjobs a fucking year,

they fucking go ape shit and everybody goes crazy for it.

Absolutely.

Exactly, exactly.

And, you know, they should, you know what they should,

they should let some teachers or have security at these schools

or certain people be allowed to have arms, you know, be armed individuals.

Well, I like what this one district in Texas did.

they let the teachers have guns provided that they had a carry permit and that they took crisis

management training i'm like exactly that's what you should do psyche valves and yeah crisis

management training and stuff like that make sure they're vetted very well of course and come on

ridiculous i i you know and yeah i hate to think that there's something up like where it was you

don't want to say it was intentional isn't it weird that the day the night before that happened

i was here talking about how i i think that there was an injection that they give people

to go around shooting didn't i say that the night before the batman killer and all that shit is all

like they they brainwash people to do that kind of shit and kill john i think it's just somebody

that just goes crazy it does crazy shit anyway i will say this though is it find a gun range

that rents guns go out try some out see what you think wow yeah yeah i i took that i mean i usually

i didn't want to really bring it up but i i took the whole the the thing i mean i took it pretty

hard what happened last friday uh because i was i went to a doctor's appointment and when i was

going into the doctor's appointment i always turn my phone off at the doctor's office but i got a

tweet and it's all i saw the tweet came up really quick as i was shutting the phone down and it said

um you know shooting school whatever i was you know the shooter's dead one other person i was

like okay yes you know probably some university some idiot came with a gun you know they shot

the guy uh in the story and i turned the phone off when i got back to the car i turned on my

radio and i have satellite radio it's cnn radio and i said let me see what happened with that

and i turned it on and they're like you know you know 20 kids you know 30 people dead to at least

20 kids so i'm like i i lost it i was you gotta be kidding me like i you know it's just sad just

kids you know fucking you know six-year-olds and shit it's fucking sad the point is the reason this

guy did this uh is because they were children like he got to a stage where he wanted everybody

to understand what he was going through in his mind and he thought killing children was

was going to reveal that to them.

Yeah, but why not just kill...

He killed his mom.

That's all he had to do.

Why didn't he just kill his mom

and then kill his mom?

No, because it's not enough.

From a psychological perspective,

he was cooking up, you know,

and the days before,

he already attempted to get the weapon.

So he already had a plan.

He really wanted to carry something out

that was so extreme

that the whole world would know about it,

and he succeeded in doing that.

Yeah, he did.

Well, also, if you think on that situation,

then you also have to look at...

Yeah.

Well, also, look at the Beslan hostage crisis.

time to you know load that many that takes a while to load up a clip yeah with the hot well

is that the russian one i thought about when i heard yeah i thought that was one of the things

i thought about was like when those when those uh chechens went into the to the theater and they

held those kids hostage um the the in that theater and killed a bunch of children got killed and

they were stuck there for a few days i think right yeah the russians blew the rescue really

yeah because then they go into a gay bar next door and then they came in and they just went

all crazy and and part of the problem was they gassed the fucking theater and part of the problem

was a lot of kids died and they didn't have to die because of the way they handled that they

learned their lesson well the russians never were good at counter-terrorism they never really had

that problem until the chechen wars and all that shit starts why well also the russians remember

all the hijackings take me to cuba the russians sponsored terrorism marxist sponsored terrorism

everyone sponsored the united states every major country is sponsored terrorism england has and

during world war ii and the cold war and we're all guilty we all have blood on our hands you know

we all do i did you see the video of the father man runs the world empire runs the world and you

know it's just another stage of empire did you see the video of the father um who was on cnn and uh

what's wolf blitzer saying we're gonna cut over to the uh to the scene we have one of the fathers

of one of the children that died he's gonna talk about his story and and as they're cutting over

he's laughing and he and he comes up to the mic and he says you just want me to read for the card

right ha ha ha ha and and he didn't know he was on mic yet and and and then he started and then

he started a sob story yeah i know his kid died but it was laughing and joking around right before

he started reading off of a prepared speech and a card and on a card from him fucking sick i don't

know what's going on this world you know and i don't know i don't know you got to think there's

something else going on higher up that causes these things kind of to happen i think it was

behind it all i think noon is behind it all he's gotten grouchier and meaner and this year he's

going to change and be a nice a nice good noon in the new in the new glockenshirt 2013 so i think

it's anyway did you guys hear about how the kkk counter-protested the westbrook baptist church

picketing they did the uh funerals of the kids well i heard that i heard there were cops and

teachers and stuff that came out yeah i heard that cops and teachers were counter-protesting

i didn't know the clan also joined in that's good that they did yeah apparently the kkk counter

protested as well well yesterday anonymous uh leaked out uh all of the westborough baptist

church uh all their phone numbers and addresses and information well speaking of westborough

baptist church let's call them yeah fucking hell oh my god let's call them let me talk to them all

their numbers actually i can get that i've got a whole i got the whole list somewhere here someone

put it on their facebook i can get it um yeah we could i've talked to the to the phelps's wife

long when we first started this show back in 2005 i talked to her and she just yelled at me and hung

up the phone really fast well here's the thing though is that the guy the fred phelps apart from

him being crazy is a pretty damn smart guy i mean he's a really good lawyer he's a good orator he's

just crazy he is great man come on he's sick is what he is um yeah you know have you heard the

interviews of his son that escaped and turned against him and he talks about him now all the

the abuse that he went he under underwent all the indoctrination from when he was a baby uh about

i can understand i think he's gone too far i can understand somebody being opposed to

homosexuality on religious grounds you get into a point where you're it's okay she says i personally

do not approve of it yeah but when you get to the point where you're you're protesting funerals for

marines who died at war uh they have nothing to do with the gay agenda you know going out and saying

you know you know god you know god hates fags and this soldier died because of fags had nothing

thing to do with the whole thing i don't know you know what movie i want to see i've never gotten a

chance to see it but kevin smith made that movie red state that he uh he modeled it he modeled it

after uh uh phelps uh i heard it's actually pretty good it didn't have a lot of legs when it came out

but it got a lot of uh a lot of critics that said it was really good uh red state i never saw that

movie but i heard really good things about red state when did it come out uh 2009 maybe red

state came out kevin kevin smith red state something like that i say it i love kevin smith

movies yeah yeah dude you know he's got a he announced this week he's got a he's got a mini

series that abc is picking up and him and jerry bruckheimer are making about uh wayne gretzky i

think it is something like that he he's he's working on a mini series it's going to be like

a two-week special on abc one hour episodes each yeah and about edmonton uh the hockey culture in

edmonton and wayne gretzky and shit like that looks pretty it looks pretty cool i'm not a

hockey fan but i might watch it it sounds so the way he was describing it it seemed pretty cool

something to look at

is Jason Mewes

going to be on it

at all

yeah he's got

Mewes is going to be

on it too

yeah of course

he's going to put

Mewes

I was about to say

yeah you got to

have Mewes

yeah Mewes

is in everything

yeah I don't think

Mewes is in Red State

I think Mewes

might have been

in Red State too

might have had

a part in Red State

as a matter of fact

I'm not sure

Kokanee's might know

about it

let's see

Kokanee you're here

Kokanee

yeah Kokanee's here

I'm going to have

to kill the stream

because I got

both happening

oh yeah

hey Carlito

So there's a link I just posted in Skype chat from 6 to midnight about the Laughing Dead that you were talking about.

Laughing Dead? Is that the...

Oh, yeah.

Laughing Dead.

Oh, the dad. Yeah, I was going to play the...

Let's call him, too. I think he deserves a call.

Uh, no, man. You know, his kid did get shot. You know, I don't...

Oh, Jesus. Look at him in a suit and everything. That's a proper psychopath there.

Yeah, but, yeah, look how he comes out. He's, like, laughing at first.

Like, you want to just read from the card? You know, Blitzer's like...

Wolf Blitzer's like, an hour we're cutting. Are we ready yet?

Uh, let's see. Here we go, you know?

Did you post a link, or did you just post a quote, or just a link?

Uh, Ken.

Oh, there it is.

Link in Skype.

Let me play that.

I want to hear that now.

I only saw it once yesterday.

I want you guys to hear this.

Yeah, Robbie Parker.

They're saying he's an actor now, too?

Is that what they're saying?

Or are they just saying they caught him like an actor?

It's loading.

Come on, YouTube.

You can do it.

Fucking slow section over there.

What's going on?

Looks like the family is there.

They're getting ready to come to the microphone, so we'll listen in.

Okay.

That's fucking...

YouTube.

They changed YouTube, and it looks really nice, but for me,

it's been screwing up a lot oh june the new version of youtube that they've released oh man

that's just okay let's see here we got a lot of english it looks nice but it's it's been really

jumpy for me i don't know if it's just uh psychosomatic but i like the fourth time they've

changed it in less than a fucking month yeah and now they're they're trying to push everyone so

like when you make a comment it's your real name they already did that in the google market the

google play store you have to use your uh your you have to have a registered google plus name

and it has to use your first and last name i'm good with that i don't care then you know what

this whole thing is is really helping my uh search results um it's based on my search history it's

based on my interest and um whatever i look for now i'm getting you know almost instant results

for everything it's brilliant very nice very good i'm really into it you guys want to call england

you know let's call the westboro baptist church i got those numbers i gotta find okay call england

i want to wake somebody up and fucking tell them the world's ending all right here's england yeah

it's uh you scream it is english i just wanted to tell a bad joke all right well don't tell it

Yeah, wait for the fucking-

The wall's ending!

Alright, this is John Bruins' first person. Here we go.

Put the address in. Put the address into the sky.

Okay, let me tell a bad joke.

Wait.

Numbers are in there.

Yep.

Hello?

Hello, yeah, is that- is that Mrs. Bruins?

Yes.

Yeah, it's Gin from next door.

Yes, oh hi.

You looked out-

Yeah, I- no, no, no, I've got- I don't know what's happening, but have you looked into the sky?

No.

God, go have a look- quickly have a look in your window. Have a look outside into the sky.

Okay, alright, thanks.

Quickly, quickly, quickly!

She thought you were locked out? What?

No, no, dude, I was thinking it was, uh...

She thought you were locked out.

I should have carried that one about, yeah.

You should have told me, yeah, I'm locked out.

Shit, sorry. I'll call her back, calling her back.

Yeah, yeah. Let me tell a joke, and then you go...

Hello, John! Yeah, it's Jin!

It's Jin, listen! The world

is ending now! Have you looked

outside?

outside yeah okay they don't want it man they just don't want it it might be the yelling yeah

maybe i want to get into the yelling though because as soon as it starts they might get

very excited all right here's john constable you realize what bloody time it is everyone says that

start up nice and slow and easy and then go into yelling build up yeah yeah that's it yeah that's

it yeah yeah yeah let me tell them a joke all right here's the next joke of the day next one

on the list is uh what did i say clark

you don't have this one okay you can have it

your terrible jokes are gonna hello yeah mrs clark hello mrs clark talk john

hello yeah yeah yeah mrs clark what the oh i'll try again because the guy's in the

background he might pick something yeah yeah i think if you harass them a little bit though

Protect the honor. Let me talk to John Johnny Johnny Johnny boy

All right constables next John, please man. I want to try that wiener schnitzel now the wiener schnitzel

No, it's not

Welcome to voicemail the person you have called is unavailable. Please leave a message after the

Oh, for the tone.

Gin, do you like Wiener Schnitzel?

Wait, what?

He's not having it.

Do you like wiener schnitzel, Gin?

I do, yeah.

Yeah, I actually spent four years in Vienna when I was a kid, so I do know some passable German.

Echt? Kannst du Deutsch?

Ein bisschen.

Nicht schlecht. Überhaupt kein Akzent. Sag mal was anderes.

Who's this?

John Drummond.

Hello?

Hello, John!

Who's that?

Yeah, this is Gin. How are you?

Who?

Gin, I'm at number seven.

Sorry?

I'm at number seven?

Yes.

Yeah, listen, man.

What do you make of this whole world ending thing?

I'm a little bit worried because, you know, some things are happening.

I'm a little bit, you know, did you feel the earthquake a minute ago?

No.

You didn't feel it?

Were you sleeping?

No, I did not.

No, sorry?

How can you not have felt that?

It was pretty strong.

I'm just a little bit concerned.

Can you maybe talk to me for a minute?

Tell me what's happening in your place there?

No, I don't.

Do you know what time it is?

It's five to six in the morning.

John, I understand that, but listen, the world is coming to an end today, I think, and something is happening.

I'm worried, I'm concerned.

I've asked it.

John, hello?

What?

Hello?

John!

I've got to fix your shit, man.

What's going on here?

No, he's just breathing.

All I'm hearing is like an echo.

That's him, that's his echo.

Oh, fucking bastard.

Alright, I'm done.

Do it again, we're done.

No, I'm not doing this, you're a dickhead.

You don't work.

Yeah, yeah, you talk to him, tell him you're a joke.

Come on, ring.

Welcome to BT Answer 1571.

Oh, who cares?

What happened here?

I'm looking for those numbers for Westboro.

My friend who posted it on Facebook took it down.

Anonymous probably has it up.

Just probably Google Westboro Baptist Church phone numbers.

I found an article that got posted a little bit ago on Huffington Post.

It says Anonymous is continuing.

Their blitz continues.

They took down Westboro's Twitter accounts and sites a few hours ago.

I guess they're spending a whole week attacking Westboro Baptist Church.

Good, they should.

No matter what, nothing ever gets Westboro Baptist Church to stop shit.

Just keep coming back like roaches.

Roaches!

Oh, shit.

They are roaches.

I was going to say we should call them and say we're a dot of us.

Oh, yeah, that's going to go over great.

No, that's not a group I want to mess with.

Either of those groups, I'm sure Westboro's being watched somehow.

This should be classified as a hate group, though.

I don't know why they have been yet.

Maybe because they use the Baptist moniker.

That'd be the only reason why I think.

there'd be there's a fear of all whether a christian group you can't go off and they're

you know what i mean yeah who are we calling uh the next one on our on our list of british uh

subjects john faircloth yeah that's british joke of the day

two more rings one more ring that's it you know what i mean and no yeah i want to tell this joke

to a freaking british person i was gonna say the west the uh fucking church those guys are just

As bad as the KKK, they should be a fucking hate group.

Yeah, the KKK is going after them.

Yeah, that's when the KKK is picking at them.

John Gibney.

Hello?

Hi, this is Zyklon from Zappos.

Here's your joke of the day.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last hit was the wall.

Bum, bum, bum.

Well, that was a waste of a number.

Thank you, Zyklon.

Sorry.

Lonesome says it looks like all of those numbers except for one

have been disconnected for the westboro baptist protesters but one of them still works uh and

again let's call it and a guy answered so here you go have fun who wants it jen jen yeah yeah

all right okay you're german hey yeah okay i don't even know his name we don't know he's just

a guy so what's his name uh just what's wrong yeah yeah try to push it again oh that

takes this game how hard is my tobacco yeah they're expecting it they are i think so yeah

Carlito. Yeah, I'm going to have to cut out now.

Hey, Jen, I just want to say it was great

talking with you again. It's been quite a while.

It was great to talk to you, too. Yeah, man.

I think the last time I talked to you was when I called into your

old show, Sunday Lunch.

Yeah, a long, long time ago, man.

But I'm going to do some more shows in the

near future, so hopefully you'll get the chance to listen.

Definitely. All right, guys. Take care.

See you, man. See you, man. See you.

Kokanee dipped out also. See you, Baz.

Kokanee dipped out due to

bandwidth space. He was trying to help out.

Oh, thanks, Kokanee.

That's why, because it was cut.

Kokanee took a hit for us.

So I got to, yeah, like I said, I got to get to my Simpsons game here real quick,

because I got an alert that my Tamako has to be harvested.

Your what game?

Simpsons iPad game.

You can't, it's not for Android.

It's only for iOS.

Sorry, man.

Hey, Carlito, are you going to plug Dirty Aaron's show on, I believe it's Saturday here?

Yeah, I've been trying to work with him behind the scenes.

He's having a little bit of trouble with Winamp.

Me and him are both have been having trouble.

Yeah, he's having some trouble.

Who uses Winamp?

I do.

that would explain his seriously you're streaming with win m i use the win m plugin

the salmon coder yeah the salmon okay yeah what do you use do you use linux for your show or what

do you do when you go i'm not telling you haha well i know you got your stupid phone set up but

how do you push out the shellcast don't be announced um there's a an open source piece

of software i'll give you the information after the show yeah is it is it windows or what is it

yeah yeah it's windows oh yeah man come on man i'll send you some information after the show i

I don't want to broadcast it.

Yeah, I'd like to get out of this Win-Am thing,

because it's starting to fuck me up, too, man.

I'm saying.

I don't want to go.

Hang on.

I don't want to start the show again yet,

because I have to.

Let me harvest my shit here quick.

Thank you, Dirty Aaron.

Who do you think is going to win the league title

between him and Evil Artie?

Oh, man, it's going to be Aaron all the way, dude.

And I sucked it.

I can't believe I'm going to be.

Hopefully, I'm not going to be last place in the league.

That can't happen, man, right?

This week, I'm fighting for fucking seventh and eighth place.

I lost last week by two fucking points,

is because Sanchez is a piece of shit.

Yeah, my team decided to tank in the playoffs.

Yeah, that usually happens.

My playoff run usually doesn't go anywhere in fantasy football.

Yeah, Sanchez is a guy out, man.

He's out of a job, so...

Well, it was complete bullshit

because he threw two interceptions and he fumbled,

so I lost by two points.

So those fucking turnovers cost me my fucking win.

Yeah, I can't believe that they're not going with...

What's his face? Tim Tebow.

Tebow. Well, Tebow's supposedly out.

They need to get rid of Tebow.

They're going to trade him after this fucking year is what the word is.

Well, he asked for a trade.

He came out today and said he wants to be traded.

Actually, they came out and said, fuck it, Sanchez.

They're going to be talking about trading his ass out of there, too.

Well, they were unhappy with Sanchez, and they don't want to start Tebow.

I say, fuck it, man.

If they paid that much for Tebow on the offseason, just fucking play him.

There's just one game left.

They're not in the playoffs, right?

Two.

Two games left in the regular season?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

No, yeah, last week when they lost, they were done for playoffs.

Yeah, well, I'm thinking I'm probably going to beat you, Ken,

because I got Tony Romo playing number one QB against the Saints defense.

No, you know who's going to fucking destroy me is Calvin Johnson, you piece of shit.

So an update here on my Simpsons game, my Krusty Burgers finished building.

So I got a Krusty Burger here.

The Quickie Mart's running pretty nice.

Harvested my Tamaco.

That's what Homer has to say.

There you go.

I love this game.

Speaking of Quickie Marts, can we call a 7-Eleven with an Indian?

with an indian that works there i'm sure it's not hard to find one um but no because idiots

at work they're easy to get them to do stupid shit yeah like shut the business down because

of the apocalypse yeah well they'll do anything we we've uh uh you know on uh pla phone losers

have gotten them to do what i pull all the magazines down and that was me dump uh dump

the slurpee twinkies gatorade and twinkies all together and in the mop bucket with slurpee

the slurpees and shit like that it was pretty good when you got them to uh uh that cumberland

farms to fucking pull the power on the entire store that's fun we had about three of those

in a row rbcp's your hey man what's up oh my god hi oh my god hi are you are you playing the sims

have you played a simpsons game at all you don't like it no i've been playing it like uh pretty

much during your entire show while i listen to you it's it's weird if you're like the simpsons

you get addicted to it's got all the little small little jokes in there you know and yeah

yeah i usually don't like this type of game but it's fun i'm playing it and i added you as a

a friend cool cool yeah i've never played a game like this i always said i will never play those

fucking social farmville games and here i am playing this shit damn it i'll probably get

speaking of games did you hear that uh star wars the old republic has gone free to play

has it really really that was fast how long when did that come out in uh july i think i don't know

but uh old republic went free to play and uh funcoms the secret world nuked their subscription

subscription cost okay yeah i don't know i don't know about secret that was fun i'm sort of secret

society dig that was pants oh okay does anybody here know about ingress can anyone get me in a

fucking ingress uh fucking invite did you hear about it i've never heard you never heard it's

still beta it's still beta yeah but i want to play this shit man it looks fucking dope you sound

like yeah i know a guy that supposedly i'm sorry go ahead brad oh nothing i was just telling him

he sounded like david lightman in war games i want to play these games how about a nice game

game of chess something like that yeah carlito's gonna start the apocalypse yeah that's that's what

it is is all ingress is gonna bring we're gonna bring it down madhouse ingress and the simpsons

let's play thermonuclear war nice game of chess nice game of chess yeah that's old republic man

that's the game that came out and it had like everyone was excited about it and i think within

like a week and a half everyone jumped ship off that no one gave a shit about that game no one

because bioware is good at making single player but not multiplayer man well you can't fly you

you can't like it like the the space flying the space is all on rails right like you don't control

your ship you just shoot it no one wants to play a star wars game where you can't fly around

wherever you want to who wants that no one i don't know brad and chad i didn't see it yet uh

we got michael dodd here in in england i think this might be the last call of the night well

if you can do it to the white devil voice and fucking tell him the world i hate this gay ass

game thanks for being nice so brad that's nice of you that i mean i'm kidding i really haven't

played it hey carlito i've got two sears numbers and they picked up like two ladies from sears i

got them during your show really yeah it's called i just got one i mean not the old ones i got some

new ones for you ones okay yeah well did you send them to me already or did you want to send them

yeah yeah i'll paste them in skype here for you yeah cool all right they picked up are they

numbers no they're um sears portrait you know people that have paid hundreds of dollars to

have their family pictures done oh yeah that english number is working it's british uh the

The British number that Lonesome sent in is busy.

We'll try again in a second.

Oh, shit.

Okay, I just pasted him an IRC.

All right, here we go.

I'm intoxicated.

I'm really sorry.

I just posted him an IRC.

I just posted him on Skype.

So you have to call him quick before someone in IRC gets him.

All right, Kazuki, Kazuki.

Let's call Kazuki.

What kind of name is Kazuki?

Holy shit.

I don't know.

Let me talk to him.

Kazuki.

Come on, Kazuki.

Zykon can't have him.

Fuck him.

Zykon's going to say the dirty joke.

I'm not going to say the dirty joke.

I have a good idea.

He can only fuck up one call every 30 minutes.

Hello?

Hi, is this Ms. Kazuki?

Kazuki, yes.

Yes, this is Larry from Portrait Center.

I was just calling to let you know that we need a copyright release from you in order to get your pictures.

And the normal copyright release is $200.

So if you want your pictures, you have to come into Sears and pay $200 to get them.

Okay, can you talk to my mom?

Sure.

Sorry, my dad.

Okay.

Hurry the fuck up.

Hello?

Yes, this is Larry from...

How are you doing tonight?

Oh, hi, hi, yes.

How can I help you?

Okay, in order to release your pictures,

we actually need to get a copyright release from you,

and they cost $200,

so you have to come in to pay $200 to get your pictures.

Oh, hold on one second.

You know, can you call her back in about five minutes?

Because she's going to come out.

I'm not sure she's taking care of it yet.

Okay.

I can't call back.

If I have to hang up the phone,

then I'm going to have to destroy the pictures.

Okay, here's something, $200.

You got to pay.

Hold on one second.

Oh, hi.

Yes, hi, this is Larry.

In order to release your pictures, I need a $200 copyright release fee.

That's how much we have to charge.

If you don't pay it within 12 hours, we have to destroy the pictures.

I don't understand what you're talking about.

In order to release the pictures, I have to have a copyright release.

Copyright release costs $200.

I'm sorry, what copy are you talking about?

about? A copyright release. In order to release the pictures, I have to have one. They cost $200.

And if I don't have one within 12 hours, I have to destroy the pictures. You have to destroy my

picture? If I don't get one within 12 hours, yes. So you have to come into Sears. What picture are you

talking about? The pictures you got from Sears Portrait Center. Yes, yes, yes. Why do I have to

pay $200 for that? Because of copyright. Right, but there's two fees. There's the copyright fee

that we have to pay the photographer

in order to legally release the pictures.

And because of that, then we pass that on to you.

Okay, you know, can I...

My hands are really sticky.

I was doing middle of something.

Can I talk to you in five minutes?

Can you call me in five minutes?

I can answer the phone.

I can't call back because if I hang up,

I have to destroy the pictures.

Oh, you mean the picture I took today after the use?

Yes.

Well, you know, can you hold on one second?

Can I go wash my hands?

I'll come back.

One minute.

Okay, thank you.

Taking a shit.

Washing her hands.

What the hell was she doing?

Eyes, eyes!

All right, Sarah!

Ask her what was on her hands.

Okay, I'm back.

I'm sorry about that.

Can you explain to me again?

I didn't really understand.

And who is this I'm talking to?

This is Larry.

I'm the portrait manager at Sears.

Okay.

Yes.

We have to pay the photographer $200 to release the pictures,

to release the copyright to them, the rights to the pictures.

And so you have to pay us that $200 that then we have to pay him.

Why do I have to pay $200 today?

Are you talking about the picture we took today at the theater?

Right, because if you don't pay, we legally cannot give them to you.

I paid at the theater today, whatever the price they charge me.

Right, and you paid for the developing of the pictures.

You didn't pay to get the rights to them.

Okay.

We never paid $200 for that before.

Well, hey, I'm not the guy that's in charge of making the fees.

I'm just the guy that has to deal with it.

Can I get your phone number, Larry?

Larry, can I get your phone number, please?

Yes, my phone number is 505-796-4020.

Can I call the CES where I went today and ask them about the detail and I can call you back?

Sure, just call me back at that number.

Yeah, sure, go ahead.

Okay, so, Larry, what's your last name?

My last name is Zynga.

Z-Y-N-G-A.

Z-Y-N-Z-A?

Yes.

And you are Sears' portfolio manager?

Yes.

At which branch?

I work at several branches, so I'm sort of like the area photo manager.

Okay, which state?

Some of them are actually in different states.

Okay, so do you know where I took the picture today?

I do not.

I just get the numbers and whether or not I have to call people.

I never had this kind of phone call.

We've been going for years and years to Sears.

I never had this kind of phone call.

Okay, well, you know what? Look, lady, I'm just going to go ahead and destroy them now.

Okay, I'm going to contact the police because this is strange.

That's okay, right? Because we have a manager there.

I'm sure I'm shredding the pictures right now as we speak.

Look, I'm putting them into the shredder.

And how come I'm getting this kind of phone call? This is a scam?

No, no scam.

This is not a scam?

No, no scam.

Can you tell me where you are, please?

I'm sitting in my office.

In where? Which state?

I'm not allowed to say where my office is.

Otherwise, we'll get creepy prank callers.

okay so your name is larry and your phone number is one five oh five seven nine six four zero two

zero yep right yep and that should work right i'm gonna call right now okay yes excuse me hello

this is the supervisor i'm taking over the call this is cross here just speaking with larry hello

i'm here yeah this is cross i'm the supervisor there's some kind of problem here i understand

that you took pictures and you have a copyright issue you we can't release pictures to you if

you have a copyright hello yes i'm here sorry um what's that yeah well i'm gonna contact the

theater whoever i had picture taking today and ask them about detail yeah we're calling from

the main center here in hawaii okay why why can you tell me why i don't understand what kind of

copyright but i had picture taken today and i didn't receive any pictures yet all right though

where did you the clothes that you were wearing where were they from were they from target or

walmart or where did you buy them from that were being worn well you should know that i don't need

to give you all the data but you should know that right yeah well there's a copy you know that you

know my phone number well some no this the the clothing that you were wearing in the pictures

the clothing okay okay if you buy them from certain stores or if they have like uh like

characters like disney characters or anything like that uh okay we you can't we can't print

them because there's a copyright on the fashion on the on design of the clothing like okay okay

For example, if you buy something from Walmart and you wear it in the picture,

you can't just get your pictures and print them like that because they have a copyright.

You can only wear clothes from Sears when you get your pictures taken.

Okay, I got it.

So why are you wearing clothes that you didn't buy in Sears or Kmart?

What clothes are you talking about?

Well, you had clothes on in the pictures, right?

You weren't naked, were you?

I'm sorry?

You weren't naked in the pictures.

You had clothing on, right?

No, no, no, no, of course not.

Okay, so the clothing that you had on, it's not from Sears?

What clothes are you talking about?

Because I didn't take a picture.

I brought someone to take a picture, but I don't know somebody talking about.

Yeah, the clothing that those people had that took the picture,

they didn't buy those clothings in Sears.

They bought them somewhere else.

Okay, you know what?

I'm going to call Sears and then talk to them because they should know about this, right?

Well, everyone knows about this.

Anybody with common sense who's not stupid knows that if you get your pictures taken,

you only wear clothing.

Only stupid people will come with clothing from other places.

sis all right uh i contact them and i will call you back okay are you stupid maybe i can put down

here that you're stupid and maybe then we can make an arrangement if you're a stupid person

oh yeah let me put that in you should because i think you're stupid you're calling me stupid

no but if you're stupid just tell me i'm not gonna make fun of you i'll put in the computer

and we can let this slide where's zyklon go he dropped out they didn't get mad yeah

he was doing all right he didn't ruin that one they did pretty good he drew it out really long

and then he ruined it yeah no i'm sorry just kidding zyklon you're amazing he got busted yeah

that was good but he got busted just kidding he sucks yeah don't give him anything man he sucks

all right you send in a bunch of numbers actually send in about six of them all right you said

yeah but only the first two actually answered because i called every one of them to make sure

because i felt bad because those ones before were just crap you know nobody answered your fault one

of them answered that guy got kind of upset all right let me try the other one aline you brought

up some emotional shit with that broken marriage what you know how it is brad i'll be there one

I'll be there pretty soon.

Yep, yep.

No kids, though.

Yeah, good thing I don't have kids.

Thank God.

Your call has been forwarded to a...

Automatic voicemail.

...system 8-0.

I hates me some voicemail.

I'm going to shut the show off.

I'm tired, guys.

Well, thanks, Brad, for calling in with those last two numbers there.

That worked out?

Yeah, sure.

Got one prank out of there.

Thanks, man.

Take it easy, bro.

Glad to help.

Yeah, bye.

Bye, Brad.

All right, is Milkman here?

Milkman.

Yay, Milkman's over here.

Did he fall asleep?

Nah, he's still in that of his brain.

Come on, I'm here.

He's still not out of his brain.

Bye, Ken.

See you later, man.

Keep me for a second, Carlito.

Yep, I will.

Bye, Ken.

What are we doing about the show next week?

Next week's show.

What are we doing?

I don't know.

Let's do your Christmas Eve, my Christmas Day.

Okay.

Sort of maybe an hour earlier than you normally start.

Yeah, that should work out.

Unless I've got a family.

I don't think I have any family.

Oh, yeah.

Shit, Christmas Eve.

Yeah, you've got a family.

Everybody's got a family.

No, but I think we're doing a Christmas Day thing.

I think Christmas Eve is free.

So the Madhouse family thing?

No, not Madhouse.

Carlos family.

But I think Christmas Eve is free.

I think I'm good.

I'm good for now.

Well, should we do 10 p.m. then just to be on the safe side?

Because I think people will probably be spending time with their family in the early evening.

Okay.

If we do 10 p.m. Eastern time, normal time you, but I'll stream.

Yeah, normal Madhouse time on Monday night here.

Yeah, and then you'll stream.

Sounds good.

Sounds like a plan, man.

All right, cool.

And then, yeah, I'll be on Skype and you patch me in.

And if I'm out for some reason, then I'll get on my phone, and you'll Skype me in or something.

Fuck Skype.

I'm going to talk to you on Facebook.

We'll sort something out.

We'll figure it out.

Yeah, we'll use Gort.

All right, man.

All right.

See you, Jen.

Take care, bro.

See you, buddy.

Great show.

Thanks.

Thanks, Milkman.

Thanks, everybody else.

Take care.

I hope we make it.

I hope we make it, man.

Happy apocalypse.

I hope the world doesn't end.

See you, man.

Bye.

See you.

All right, Milkman.

That's it, man.

We had a good show, I think.

Yeah, it was good, man.

Yeah, well you want to take us out of here. I'm gonna say Merry Christmas to all the bitches

Get out of here, man

Well, I think here by stopping in tonight all our friends right there in the madhouse right there point take them out

Right there. Yeah

That was Ken Ken saying dirty thing yeah

Fuck yeah

Anyway, go ahead milkman. Take us out of here. All right

All right. Well, I said you're stopping me and all our friends right there in the mountain

I need .60 miles, man.

We had a good challenge tonight.

I had a lot of fun.

Jim Stewart, thanks a lot for coming in.

I especially want to thank our number of kids, man.

That's right.

The Lonesome Loser.

Man, thank you so much, brother, man.

What can I do without you?

I'd like to thank all our friends for stopping by,

friends over at Cactus Radio,

all our friends over at Syndicate Radio,

and all our friends out there in the planetary galactic collision

is about to commence.

I'd like to welcome all of you into the new age of the Milky Way

and drown that joins our galaxy.

Galaxy. Yes.

Welcome to the B-Way. That's right.

Welcome, welcome all our friends

and all our new listeners in Andromeda

are going to be joining us here after

tonight, actually.

Right? Yeah, we got a big

opportunity here. Absolutely.

A new galactic connection, so don't

miss it. That's right. Same bat cave, same bat

channel, same bat time right here.

Every week with the air money, so I can't lose

more of the madhouse.

What we do is ask you, thank

goodness for you and your melodious

stones man you've saved many more lives than i ever money it'll be easy brother yeah i hear you

man melodious stones you know real quick before you go into forever milkman someone mentioned on

uh on the itunes store uh under the madhouse podcast that they like the show but they think

it's gay they think it's gay every time milkman says carlito that you love carlitos melodious

tones oh yeah i don't know who it was but they said that i thought it was pretty funny i thought

i share that with you oh so somebody on our itunes podcast made a comment that yeah i love

the armonito yeah they said they love madhouse but they but they think that it's gay when milkman

says he loves carlito's melodious tones yeah oh i love his melodious tones hi i'm guilty

dirty little girl yes i'm dirty dirty bad boy armonito thanks a lot man once again man so

So are we doing something Monday?

Are you guys going on, or what is this?

Yeah.

What is this, Jake?

Yeah, Jen's going to stream.

We'll do a show.

I'll join in, and me and Jen will do some pranks Monday, Monday night, Christmas Eve.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, let me know if you want me, then call me, man, because I don't know what's going

on.

Let me know.

All right.

Sounds like a plan I'm down for, man, and you'll be on, too.

I don't think you're going to be working that night, so yeah, we're on.

No.

No, man.

It's not a plan.

What's going on?

Fuck, yeah.

That's not how we do.

Fuck.

Fuck, Ken.

scared the shit out of me

I just heard Ken

talking porno shit

well he's been out there

breathing deeply

because tonight

he went out

and got his ass

sunburned

for going out

and shooting the moon

there

and breathing tonight

oh my god

god this literally

scared the shit out of me

oh man

anyway

alright yeah so

did you thank everybody

Milkman

are we clear

are we off

I think I thanked everybody

but if I didn't

once again

all I do is love you

and thank you so much

we also wish you

a very happy holiday

Christmas

Hanukkah

or whatever holiday you miss

this trade-in. The best of luck

to you and your family from the man out.

Yeah, there you go.

Well, yes, in case Milkman missed,

thanks to everyone who sent the numbers, including Big Ken,

RBCP

sending numbers, Lonesome Loser,

all the other Request a Prankers, Big Dialer

or whatever his name was, who sent in that weird

number for the wienerschnistel,

weinerschnistel, whatever.

Yeah, thanks for hanging in there,

guys, with the technical issues with the video and all that.

i appreciate your patience hopefully by next week i'll get this computer machine fixed and we'll be

back up to snuff hopefully hopefully god willing we'll be back all right milkman uh i got your

address here i'm gonna i'm gonna give you a call after the show just right now don't go anywhere

all right be stand by your phone all right ten four all right man ten four everybody have a

merry christmas well i guess we'll talk before then god willing but in case for some reason i

I don't make it.

Merry Christmas.

In case the apocalypse hits.

Merry Christmas.

Welcome to the new block.

If you like Milkman, close your eyes.

Think about your favorite rap song.

California, Hubba Bubba.

Hubba Bubba Bubba.

This is Hubba Bubba, the remix, Milkman.

The white horse, yeah.

See you later.

Fuck you, bitch.

Motherfucker.

Calls (28, 56 min of 2 h 25 min)

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