Uncomfortableness

good evening this is van house for january the 10th what can you do right what can i do what

can you do milkman what can you do when you fall in love what can you do when you fall in love

all right well i'm carlito milkman is here that's that's it for now uh i am getting sick i'm getting

that stupid super flu that's going around i think i don't know i don't know if that's what it is

i was feeling a little warm earlier today my wife had it a few for up until last week i've

been trying everything i could to fight it i don't like taking uh vaccines i don't like i don't never

take the flu shot i don't believe in it and uh as the night's been getting i'm getting worse and

worse i feel like shit i'm very tired i'll be honest with you i don't want to do a show i don't

feel like doing this show i'm not in the mood to do a show i'm not trying to be an asshole i love

you guys the only reason i'm here right now is because i know a lot of you guys were sitting

and waiting for a show and because i gotta we gotta talk uh yeah we definitely gotta talk

because we have problems here milkman there's big problems with you people all of you i'm very

upset at all everyone in the chat room all of you every single one no i'm kidding i have

none i'm talking about um jill my beard's gone i shaved i started a job so i had to shave i started

this week which goes into what i gotta talk about the problem machine that we're facing here

right um basically uh the uh job i have it's gonna be um starting next week the first week

that i've i'm working which is this week it's only been eight to five monday through friday

but starting this weekend i will start i go in at midnight and i work until uh no no no bullshit i

i go in at 11 30 p.m eastern time work until eight o'clock in the morning and that's uh sunday

that's monday through friday so sunday night at midnight sunday night monday morning at midnight

until thursday night friday morning uh basically you're on the marathon uh the graveyard shift

yeah third shift it's gonna be like that for a while hell yeah if i keep this job it's gonna be

be like that for probably a few years it's just that kind of job so then we need to come with a

consensus now me and milkman were talking about this earlier and we were trying to throw around

ideas do we just cancel madhouse milkman maybe i think let's just announce we're gonna this is

the last madhouse show ever right yeah i know that this is being talked about the table there

and unfortunately uh it is a sad moment for you know all of our listenership out there friends

and militia members.

It's on the table, man.

Yeah.

It's on the table.

You can hear your voices.

MPSA,

Cobra says,

cancel this shit.

All right,

Cobra,

you know,

since you think so,

then why don't you

leave the chat room forever?

Why don't you ban yourself

and leave the chat room

and never come back,

asshole?

That's right.

Go ahead and get yourself.

Yeah.

You're welcome to do that

if you don't have

no problem with the voluntary.

And take your best friend,

Dirty Aaron,

and shove him up your ass

also while you're at it.

Dang, he did it.

Good.

He's done.

Oh, I mean, he just shaved his nipples too, man.

Good.

I'm happy.

But, no, we're not going to end the show.

Well, we've got to come up with a plan.

So we've got to either.

That's what we're trying to avoid.

Well, I'm trying to.

Yeah, we're wanting the fans' inputs here real quick on what's best to do for the show.

So should we move Madhouse to an earlier start time and keep Thursday nights?

So if I have to go into work at 1130, the latest I'm going to do a show is 10 p.m.,

which means 10 p.m. Eastern, 7 p.m. Pacific,

which means in theory I'd want to start the show at 7 p.m.

So that would be 7 p.m. into 10 p.m. Thursday night.

So we would shift the show up three hours,

and also we wouldn't be able to go super late, really.

So what you're saying is if it's the same day,

that means we've got to start much earlier,

earlier and it's a much shorter show so we're actually going to like be not quite into the

late night calls we're going to be into the late evening uh night calls i guess that's what i'm

saying right yeah or or then what i was thinking is we or we can move the saturday nights that's

another thing we could we could go on 10 o'clock at night on saturday nights now 10 o'clock night

we'll keep the same time we go saturday nights now the only problem that is the only thing

that i'm concerned with is that aaron does his show uh occasionally on saturday nights now if

aaron wanted he could fill in after us if he wants to go maybe on nights that aaron wants to go on

we could just go on until midnight and then aaron takes over that'd be cool and on the night that

would be cool that way show you like well you know you started getting tired you know you've

been working your ass off or whatever you need to bend just let boy oh boy now and aaron could

go ahead and like then you know that'd be kind of neat sandwich it together well here's i work

Work out good for everybody.

Yeah.

Well, someone else is saying we could move to Friday.

We can move to Friday nights.

We could either do Friday nights or Saturday nights.

I don't know.

Well, you've got two demographics, okay?

Thursday has been our demographic for historical reasons.

That was the availability, and that was the one we stuck.

That was the one that seemed to work for our changing schedules over time.

But that does limit, that's always limited, who we could reach.

Our message is out Thursday night.

You know, you're basically talking about people that are going to bed and go out for a weekend.

So if we went on a people night to go to work, they got off of work, they're going to go out fucking kicking.

They're going to go out and party down.

I just got off of work, man.

I'm going to work tomorrow, man.

Let's go out and get fucking kicking.

Does that draw more people to our show?

Or does that give us more opportunities to call?

Oh, yeah.

So it's out.

You've got people that have already had to get about fucking going out.

I mean, a day.

Saturday is kind of a nice middle screen.

I mean, you know, it kind of puts you in both worlds.

Right, right.

I don't know.

So, yeah, we do have two options here.

I got to...

I mean, that's our three choices.

Well, four choices, you know, go off or swap to one of these other days.

And, you know, some people would mention KDK.

I don't have no problem with KDK.

I just love KDK.

I know he's kind of gone under some people's skins in here lately.

We love and respect Slaughter and everything.

It's just the Jewish can appreciate it when we may have to slot,

but not out of our audience.

Now, whatever. Who cares? I don't know.

I lost you at KBK.

Well, that's fine. Everybody gets all shook up.

But, you know, I mean, that's just what I want to let...

Just put it out there. I'm looking. We're not treating you or anything.

This is Saturday.

Well, look, I'm going to be honest with you guys.

I'm going to have to go to work,

and I've got to get ready to go to work and stuff like that

on Thursday nights.

So, to be honest, you know, you look what time it is now

that we started this show, 10.30.

So, if I'm saying I'm going to end the show

by a certain time,

you know and here and and be honest with you where i always start late and shit because of

technical issues or i'm just lazy or i'm trying to catch the end of a tv show or movie before the

show starts i'm taking my time that's going to be a shorter show it's going to knock chop off um

time off the show so let's not and then you know it's a whole flavor of the show yeah yeah so

let's not constrain ourselves doesn't always make more better all right so let's be honest and let's

Let's throw away the concept of keeping the show on Thursday nights for the time being.

So let's say we're going to do off-the-table.

I think it's not a necessity to examine our other opportunities.

There you go.

So I'm looking in the chat room, trying to get the temperature in the chat room,

and I'm getting a 50-50 feel out of Friday or Saturday.

Now, Cobra says, I don't have the word from Dirty Aaron,

but he says he thinks that Aaron can move his show to Friday night no problem.

I'll talk to him about that.

So we can set up a poll.

He does want to, like, work with us and be in our time slot.

You know, that always has worked out for shows.

I mean, we've been in network for drawing people that, like, you know,

that are going to be having their goes off early.

The next ones that are going to be coming, let's know,

they're going to be tuning in to you before we get ready.

So, I mean, you know, such play is not bad with us, too.

That might be cool.

I want to take it up.

Yeah, that may be cool.

That's always worked out because remember Clearback is in other places.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so, yeah, because I'm thinking, why didn't I think of Friday?

Because my brain's fried right now.

I'm trying to think, why did I not think, why did I not think of Friday as an option before?

I don't think my wife...

Because you're already thinking, dude, I need a fucking chance to sleep and come back to reality, dude.

I mean, you know, I'm going to try my only couple days off and interact with normal society and my wife.

you know you're already thinking i need to come down on and then just do it and relax right pushing

your body to the limit all right that's what i think you had to find yeah all right so let's

shoot for that then let's shoot for uh well what am i saying we got i got a 50 i got some people

it looks some people in saturday some people in friday it's kind of a 50 50 thing um

saturday from okay there's another vote for saturday a lot of people say saturday so let's

All right, fine, let's do Saturday.

My father says Saturday's okay, too.

Yeah, all right, well, let's shoot for Saturday, and then...

All right, we'll shoot for Saturday.

If for some reason Saturday isn't working out, we can move it to Friday.

All right.

Well, I'd like Saturday to be in agreement.

Who's saying Friday?

We'll leave it in agreement.

How many people...

It looks like it's not a bad deal.

Like, you know, no offense, but we just want to make sure that you, our beloved listeners,

have your needs served, and that you get your opportunity to be around here the most.

interactive show

on the internet.

The podcast listeners,

it doesn't affect

the podcast listeners

because they get their show

when they get their show.

It's the people in the chat

and the live ones

that I'm most concerned.

I mean,

I can do either night.

People that are on the moment.

All right,

we'll shoot for Saturdays

and if we get feedback

that maybe Friday would be better,

we'll try a Friday show.

We'll call it by air.

So for the time being,

we'll look for Aaron's input,

but, you know,

it's the same agreement

with him there,

but their options are available all right saturday it is well saturday um next week

starting next week saturday night 10 p.m eastern there you go that's the all right chat room is

spoken that's the official schism here and that's where you're getting before we move completely

off the chair i got two more we move on to the regular business um box is inviting and asking

And everybody, if you're interested, check out his new page, prankwiki.com.

Yeah, definitely.

What he's trying to do is he's trying to create a real, legitimate archive of all the past, present, and up-and-coming prankers

and people out there that enjoy this genre of telephone improvisational comedy that we've cornered here.

And it ought to be a lot of fun.

So he's asking people to stop by.

He said, don't forget to check it out and get your name up there.

If you're somebody that's in the business here, get your name up there, man.

Also, Tabachi is looking for some more help.

Tabachi has been in charge of recovering our lost gold from our older episodes.

And people that really like these podcasts and such, this is a chance here to do two things.

First of all, you can get to listen to shows that maybe you've never heard before

and most people have probably not heard because they're only existed on tape.

and if you just go through that

and tick and mark away on a couple

things there and call it edited

you're also part of the project

and we're definitely looking forward to people

that have a little time to listen

in on our old shows

and contribute to the movement

so to Bocci's the man to talk to

Death Fox

don't forget to check it out

prankwiki.com

does that sound good?

yeah guys help both of them out

first of all with Death Fox

prankwiki.com we're trying to just get a little like like milkman said in our cafe history going

to prank calls going back to as early as we can go um so go on there check it out and then

contribute also if you know of a prank caller that's been missed or if you know information

or if you're a prank caller or you know if you're friends with the guys at prank uh prank university

uh you know friday night cranks anything like that anybody who any type anything like that

where you want to contribute to a wiki page

or wiki site that

Death Fox is working on just to kind of bring the whole

print culture together

and give it a place to kind of center around

I think that's a good idea

we own this site

it's going to be a legitimate site

it's not going to be a battleground

BS kind of deal

this will be a lot of fun

we can have some stuff up there

I just

want to see it as

I'm just hoping it's as unbiased

as possible you know what i mean like if you know no one go in there and create a kdk page and is

very anti-kdk kdk is a fag and all this stuff it's not you know be legit you know be legit

with us owning the domain what's your moment your domain their motto is this you know we can edit

that sort of thing so somebody wants to be really malicious and being ignorant fuck you know it's

not going to go down you know so if you want to have fun though and come over and do legitimate

Yeah, like I said, in a non-biased way, in a non-biased way, you know?

He is.

That's true.

That's right.

And then also with...

Hey, somebody get a hold of our man, man.

Tabachi is in charge of recovering our old, lost episodes.

There's lots of stupidity on there that a lot of people missed out on.

You can have a hand in this, too.

Yeah, if you're listening to the old shows anyway, then if you want to help out, get with Tabachi.

I believe you can hit him up at tabachi at madhouselive.com.

Tabachi, T-A-B-A-C-H-I at madhouselive.com.

Send him an email.

Let him know you're interested in helping out with the prank archives.

You don't even have to edit the MP3s or the prank calls.

All you're doing is when you're listening to a show, an old or madhouse show from, I think we need 2009 and 2010 still to get done.

But if you're listening to one, just write down or get a little notepad on your computer, your notepad application,

application and put down the time

of when the prank call occurs

and that helps him go back

and yank it out of that show

and we're just about

complete with an entire

we got several hundred

time coding

and thanks to

everyone who's already contributed to that

we've had a lot of people help out with that project already

several hundred prank calls already got

once it's complete

I'm going to move them all over to the Madhouse site

I'm going to redo the prank call section

And so it's going to have several hundred of them.

And then I want to go through all of those and start picking out the really good pranks

and start, you know, kind of put those in a special section

and make YouTube videos out of all those also.

So I've got a lot of plans.

But we've got to start with getting all our pranks archived so we can find out.

Wow, that's awesome, Randy.

You know what, then, definitely, because Fox wants to talk to you about a project right in that vein.

So you're already on the same page with Fox.

Yeah, we are.

Yeah.

All right, listen.

we'll get with you on that later then well let's i'm gonna hit the request of pranks here real

quick do some pranks like i said i'm not feeling good but i want to do some prank calls anyway

so let's do some real quick and we're going to call it a night sorry short show but it is what

it is uh brad got some numbers here uh we got some requested pranks on the side where brad sent

in uh customers from walmart tire and lube centers these are people who've had their car usually oil

Oil changes, looks like.

For the most part, these are all oil changes, it looks like.

We got one defective tire here also.

This is Don.

Big Don sent a score.

We're playing Christmas music?

Anyway.

No, we can't play this song, because this is going to get us fucking blocked on YouTube.

Every time I play this, stupid, I haven't taken it out of the fucking playlist.

Damn it.

Anyway, Don.

Oh, yeah, that's going to have to be changed.

All right, Don took his car in for an oil change.

he took his car in for an oil change and uh had road hazard uh defective tire a road hazard

defective tire okay i'm guessing he had like a screw or nail or something in his tire that'd be

about right maybe a piece of glass machine stupid as dawn i'll try him again busy that was an answer

machine that's why we'll hop back to it here's hayley who had an oil change today at the walmart

you know i know someone personally i'm not trying to you know done an urban legend or anything

thing i know someone personally who took their car to walmart for an oil change and about two

days later the car broke down come to find out they did not put the they drained the oil to put

a new filter in it they didn't put the new oil in it god that's so stupid i never went to walmart

for oil change after that i used to go it was cheap it's like nine bucks 9.99 oil change while

you wait your call has been forwarded to an automatic voicemail the r-stream there's probably

Probably someone in there tapping off the connections.

A couple times I clicked on it, man.

We've got 75 people in the chat right now.

That's good.

That's a good sign.

Hey, everybody.

Thanks for...

I mean, I'm sorry I sound like shit.

I'm just sick.

I'm not trying to be a dick.

Never mind.

It's okay, man.

Trust me, guys.

I talked to him early on, and he was sounding good, but he told me he wasn't feeling that

well.

He told me he felt like he had a little temperature, so I told him to lay down, try

and take a little break here, and he relaxed, and he got up, and he's still feeling a little

Yeah, well, the big thing is I wanted to make sure we talked about the whole, you know,

changing the show night, show time.

Right.

You know, I wanted to float that out there.

It says you guys are what I was most concerned about.

I could do it either night.

I just wanted to make sure you guys worked for you guys.

God damn it.

Yeah, they're okay.

Our listeners are okay, I guess.

You guys are okay.

Bucky said he's sick because he's been pissing all night.

He's been pissing all night?

Man.

Yeah, he was wearing horseshoes earlier and he's been pissing all night, dude.

Oh, man, that sucks, dude.

I hope you get to know him better, Bucky.

Yeah, you've got to change out your horseshoes, man.

Yeah, man, you've got to wash your horseshoes, bro.

You'll feel a lot better, man, with your horseshoes.

Warsh, that's how you spell it.

Yeah, he's pissing like a horse, man.

Anyway, getting the oil change at Walmart is convenient

convenient because if you're going to shop at walmart you go there first drop it off in the

back of the store and you walk in and do your shopping and stuff and then pick up your car

when you're done but not if i'm gonna fuck up your car i wouldn't take it that's they got they

got poor workmanship there from what i hear i don't know i can't vouch for it there's so many

walmarts out there i'm sure there's some places that do a good job with oil change i just heard

one bad story and that did it for me i'm not about to drive my car with no oil on it for two days to

have a blow up on the side of fucking i-4 in orlando that's what happened to this friend of

mine for her name's kim big kim um i used to get my oil change at this place uh instead a little

bit down the way that was in the same parking lot as an applebee's restaurant and a target

a super target so i'd leave my car there and i would walk across the parking lot i'll go to

applebee's and i would have lunch and drink like four beers and then i walk to target i'll walk

around target drunk and then until they called me to come pick it up and then i would drunk drive

No, I'd be sober, brother.

I would be sober.

I would go.

I'd take my time.

I'd go to Applebee's, and I'd watch, like, a basketball game or a baseball game, you

know, and drink a few beers.

There you go.

And then I'd go to Target, walk around.

I just got a message from Tabachi.

He says, tell Carlito I'll edit the next couple of shows, my man.

So he said he'll do the next couple of shows there, mano.

What about the next couple of shows?

What?

Oh, to upload them?

Yeah.

Tabachi edited all those old shows, and I'm releasing them one a night.

Yeah, he said he'll edit the next couple of shows.

All right.

cool that works yeah i got the raw i think we are still looking for recruitments and assistance

because the more people help out the quicker that we all get to laugh together there you go well

good hopefully someone picks up on these numbers here so we can all laugh

at a real prank call that would be nice i've been laughing a long time we just want you to laugh

again we're not home right now but if you'll please leave your name telephone number damn

Damn, people aren't at home.

All right, here's Hanus Jonathan.

Hanus, Hanus, Hanes, Hanes Jonathan, I guess.

Jonathan Hanes.

Oh, I had it backwards.

Oh, there we go.

Oh, man.

Smoking drugs, Milkman?

Yeah.

Yeah, I heard you bubbling back there.

Milkman, were you blowing bubbles in your milk?

Is that what you were doing?

You have reached the Sprint Voicemail box of 5-3-0-1-1-1.

thank you milkman for blocking that uh here here's nicky who got a new tire come on one of these i

want one of these numbers this would be a shitty last show on a thursday night we don't get anybody

to pick up before in the show sick hey man lonesome loser hasn't showed up but i know all

of you guys got some good numbers i'll request the pranks there's another thing can lonesome show up

on saturday nights because he has a girlfriend english speaking numbers

The lonesome usually takes his girlfriend out for bowling, and they go bowling and stuff on Saturday nights.

They go to Applebee's, and they go to Steak and Shake.

You have reached the Sprint Wolf mailbox of three.

They go to the Ben & Jerry's ice cream store.

It's good times, man.

They go to the drive-in theater also, and they share a milkshake.

They drink one milkshake with two straws.

Oh, there's one sitting in the back seat, and the other's sitting in the front?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's the best way to shoot.

I didn't know.

Hey, this is Carmela.

Leave me a message.

Oh, crap.

Frank.

Frank had an oil change.

Come on, one of these.

I'm going to have to let these go, Brad.

You sent me a lot of them, and none of them are picking up.

This happens.

It's not your fault, dude.

Don't feel bad, Ming.

Hello?

Hello, yes.

What?

Please record your message.

When you have finished recording.

I pulled a milkman on me.

God damn it.

Oh.

now i'm just in a bad mood tabachi sent in a number for an old lady louise old woman selling

chinese chimes i said it right she said to call her back whenever we want because louise never

leaves the house might be a good wake-up call all right louise in los angeles california selling

chinese chimes here we go this sucks man i can't call in sick as my first week of work

I'm going to look bad my fifth day at work.

I don't go because I'm sick.

How many?

Eight.

I can do it.

If I'm really sick, they're going to see me.

I'm going to go home.

I don't know.

They're pretty...

It's a good job.

It's actually a really good place.

I'm pretty excited about it.

How may I help you?

Yeah, hi.

I was looking for Louise.

Louise?

Yeah.

Yeah, he's not here right now.

Is there something I can help you with?

I thought it was a woman.

It's a man.

You know, you probably have the wrong number.

We do party rentals.

Yeah, well, I had an old woman selling Chinese chimes like bells.

Okay, yeah, so you probably got the wrong number.

Oh, what do you do?

You do party rentals.

Oh, yeah.

Do you have Chinese chimes for rental?

No, we don't.

Do you have, like, that Chinese mask that looks like a lion that you rent?

No.

What do you rent?

All right, do you have a dance floor?

Yeah, we do have the dance floors.

Oh, how big is the dance floor?

Do you put it together?

Do you make me get on my hands and knees and fix it?

No, we take care of it.

What city is it for?

It's in Los Angeles.

This is Los Angeles.

In L.A.?

Yeah, bro.

Okay.

You have my wallet.

Oh, it would depend.

Yeah, so, yeah, no, we put it all together.

What size were you looking for?

I need a 50-foot.

It needs to be as big as this big blue raft that I have.

we're going to bring this blue raft over and then prank master is going to sit in the middle of the

raft and is going to be there with this asian girl it's for a it's for a quinceanera you know

what that is yeah that's when prank master pulls the 15 year old girl from the dance floor up into

the big blue raft and he touches her uh-huh oh it's one of those no i think you guys have called

me before no i have not no no oh do you hear about zolar do you know who zolar is no oh my name is

katie yeah i'm katie k thank you very much you have a good evening hey you want to visit my

website you know the barcode in the mother that was a stupid call i just had a prank master

he's got a nice hairdo does he i don't know he does it's good with his hat man yeah does he wear

moves it goes good with his hat okay yeah that makes sense thanks his hairdo goes great that

means you got a good look at it you've got a seedy cat on with a little fucking bangs

he was walking around some convention with his hat that had a beard attached to it or something

i don't know okay same deal i see the cat you know i see he's got the the little burn that

comes like yeah yeah that's it yeah hi do you have this party rental stuff

Party rentals?

Or do you have Chinese chimes for sale?

Oh, Chinese chimes, yes.

Oh, good, because someone sent me another number for you,

and it was for something else.

It was a party rental.

The man said that he came down and he would dance on the dance floor

and he would take his pants off and everything, he said to me.

And I was just looking for Chinese chimes.

Well, Chinese chimes, but I don't do any dancing on the dance floor.

Oh, is there any blood on the dance floor?

What was that?

Blood on the Dance Floor.

No.

Oh, that's Michael Jackson's song.

Oh.

Yeah, listen.

So these chimes, tell me, what are they made of?

Are they made of iron?

I don't really know.

You stupid motherfucker, you.

It says silver.

I don't know if it's silver-plated or what, but that's what it says on the box.

Are you Oriental?

Strong metal.

Hey, damn it.

Are you Oriental?

No.

Oh, what are you?

No, but I sort of inherited them from a landlady about 30 years ago.

She had been in China as a missionary.

Oh, she was a missionary there?

Yeah.

She laid on her back for the men to come on top?

She was a comfort woman, you're saying?

No, no, no.

Do you know what a comfort woman is?

I can get the picture.

Oh, they make men comfortable.

Yeah.

Are you Chinese?

chinese no i'm uh well i'm half japanese and half uh half uh racist oh okay uh-huh so what i wanted

to do these chinese chimes do they have any special significance to you because i like to

buy them from you and then break them um well they're they're for sale well i want to collect

do you collect chimes or no i like to abuse asian people so i was going to buy them and then i was

going to throw it like hit uh asian people orientals with it and hurt them with them

but once i buy it i can do whatever i want it's none of your business okay how much do you want

for these chimes what was in the ad i don't know someone just said you told told me they had them

i said someone passed information to me damn it i didn't say i looked at your stupid ad you know

i have to go and look at the ad i've forgotten it's on craigslist well what about fifty dollars

I'll give you $50.

Yeah.

You know, this...

What?

You got a problem with me?

Yeah, I'm not sure about this.

It'd be a shame if I had some of those...

Hello?

Damn it.

It would be a shame.

I'll get the rest of that story.

You've reached 626-798.

There you go.

She doesn't want to sell chimes to me now because I'm rude and crass.

BR-5459.

Chimes.

Get them funky chimes.

everybody start making the move all right here we go another request a prank this one comes from

methane or me bane no that's the name of the city amber sends a note hey that's a good one man that

thing damn hard can i speak to april um yes i'm calling what someone sends in a number for april

and the prank premise is can i speak to april um yes i'm calling today because i seen where you

were selling iPhones for $100. I was wondering how and where you get them. I heard you stole

them. Okay. Sounds hilarious, Big April. Let's do that. Or Big Amber. Yes, hi. I was calling

because I have here that you were selling iPhones for $100. I think you have the wrong

number. What do you have for sale for $100? I have nothing for sale. This is, uh, you're

not April with the iPhones? This is April, but I don't got no iPhones for sale. Do you

Do you have any iPhones at all?

I sure don't.

What kind of phone do you have?

Android?

Yeah, that's what it is.

I got an Android.

Oh, how much?

Well, I'll take about $5 for it.

You're going to take $5 for it?

Yeah.

Do you want it right now?

Are you being stupid?

Who put you up to this to send this to me?

Who the fuck is this?

Go to hell, stupid.

Do what?

I said go to hell.

You go to hell.

No, you first, I said.

I said it first.

You go to hell first, then, asshole.

Why don't you go say the same thing I said?

go to hell die in hell die slow fuck you yeah okay right a real original bye stupid why sending

that number she's stupid she doesn't have any iphones asshole hi ted webb hello hi bunch of

hey

how are you gandu hey you kuta how are you no one you know we don't use kuta

We don't use Guta very much on the show.

That's a very lightly used Indian curse.

Guta, that's a dog.

Oh, that's a good one.

Dog.

Think of that.

A dog.

Who wants to be a dog?

Not me.

A dog's life, man.

That's not that bad.

As long as you have a good owner.

I'd rather be a cow in India than a dog in India.

That's all you want.

Oh, that's true.

All dogs in India are all mangy.

Male, yeah, they're all mixed breeds and stuff.

We've got a man looking to share his one-bedroom apartment for $500.

Didn't we talk to this guy already, Ken?

Well, maybe this is a different one.

Why can't I hear other people?

Milkman's here.

No, I could hear Milkman, but I couldn't hear other people.

You said Ken, but I didn't hear anybody.

No, Ken sent the number.

He sent the number.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, Ken sent the number.

This is a three-way call right now to the operator.

Oh, okay.

Yes.

throw a call so for your way out all right we're gonna do this one i'm not doing many more prank

calls dad i'm sick god damn it i'm not doing prank calls i'm not gonna do many prank calls

hello yeah hi you have a one bedroom apartment to share yeah oh okay so yeah uh-huh go ahead

it's still available okay and my name is bill what's your name herbert her and what are the

rules for the apartment how many rooms yeah i know it's one bedroom but do you have a separate

a living room and living area no uh it's a small or it's a it's a small apartment complex it's uh

i'll say like a there's only six apartments here um three uh that's not that's allowed

all right and then it's just one bed are we going to share the bed also or

no no no you you'll bring in your own bed the the bedroom's large enough to fit uh two

bed comfortably.

Do you snore also or no?

No, I don't snore.

Oh, okay.

I have a CPAP machine.

Okay.

So I don't snore anymore,

but there's always like a hiss

going on a little bit.

Okay.

It's like a little hiss.

Yeah.

And then I would say...

Do you go to Cal State Long Beach?

Uh-huh.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm a comp sci major.

Oh, okay.

So I was thinking maybe,

you know, at first,

so we'll have separate beds,

but then do you think maybe

after a few months

if things are cool,

we could maybe put them together uh no that wouldn't be okay i mean you know what if you

know we're friends you know i know at first we're just business roommates but after a while for

friends you know we get to know each other a little bit and we like each other's company we

could you know maybe put the best together and hang out together a little more closely

no that's not cool all right now um when i take a shower i well when you take a shower is it

all right if i um take a shit or take a piss at the same time no that's that's not okay at what

point do we reach that level uh we won't we will have our own we have we have our own bathroom or

just same bathroom no we'll share it it'll be private okay well if i have to pee while you're

taking a shower where would i go would i go like in the sink in the kitchen or something no you

you wouldn't uh i have don't worry about it i have to hold it have a good day but i have to

valid questions that is a valid question i mean there's only one bathroom what are you supposed

to do pee in a cup and throw it out the window no this is in india dude he can't do that no

it's not connecticut either hey uh we gotta i mean uh katie kate does that on air sometimes

your friend katie kate he does it on air he pees in a cup and throws it out the window he's done

it a few times where you hear him peeing he's like i'm gonna i'm totally not peeing and you

You hear him peeing, and you hear him open his window, and he chucks it out the window.

That's so gross, right?

Oh, yeah, I remember that.

Yeah, it's hilarious.

Well, if you think about it, he's saving water, right?

Because if you pee in the toilet and you flush, you're wasting a few gallons of water, right?

Then he drinks out of the cup again later?

No, he's eliminating his piss without flushing it down, right?

So he's saving water.

it's very green of him to piss in a cup and throw it out the window you know what i was thinking it's

very green to pee in the sink because it takes less water to flush the pee out of the sink on

the side of the sink and just that's why that's why urinals are are you know good you should get

a urinal installed in your house yeah why don't people get urinals installed in the house right

that's a good idea you think that is a nice option yeah yeah anyway guys don't want to sit down

anyways so why not have a urinal in the house it's much easier yeah and then you won't have

your spouse yelling at you for peeing on the seat yeah like yeah you peed on the floor and

it's on the seat and this and that i bet you if i had a urinal my cat would be drinking out of it

all the time that'd be bad i could totally see that happening stupid cat stupid asshole cat

kick him right in his little nuts i haven't seen him on the camera for a while where is he uh he's

he's not allowed here because he he always wants out of here in the middle of the show and he

He starts making noise on the door.

The little thing that attaches on the bottom of the door, the little springy thing, you know, so it doesn't hit the wall.

He keeps batting at it to make me, yeah, so I open the door for him during the show.

And it's disruptive, you know, so, yeah.

Then does he want back in?

Yeah, then he wants right back in every time.

It's real annoying.

Because when I do the show, like right now, when I was coming in to do the show, he ran in here and I had to chase him out.

He's like, I want to stay.

He's like, I want to stay here with you.

But the minute I close the door, my female cat, like when I go to sleep,

she wants to lay on my chest when I go to sleep, right?

But I like to keep the door closed to the bedroom.

I don't like having my door open, but she freaks out the moment the door is closed in the bedroom.

If the door is a little bit open in a jar, she's fine.

But the moment I close it, she wants to get out.

She wants the option to get out.

I don't understand.

Sounds like all cats are the same.

They don't want to be wherever they are.

Exactly.

Unless they're sleeping.

33-year-old Middle Eastern guy looking for a female roommate.

The apartment has no bedroom.

The living room is where the beds are located.

It's a studio.

I guess.

It's a funny way to describe a studio.

This is in Koreatown.

Middle Eastern guy, 33 years old, my age, in Koreatown.

You have a female voice?

I sure as hell don't.

I know.

But, I don't know, maybe I'll be a girl for her.

All right, well, I'll try to, maybe it's for my daughter who's going to college.

We'll try that.

Carlita.

Carla.

Carlotta.

That's very Italian, right?

Carlotta.

After this, I'll try one or two more lube calls, and that's it.

We're done.

Hello?

Yes, hi.

You have an apartment for renting?

Yes.

Okay, and there's no bed, though?

it's just a couch or where's uh actually i have bed uh-huh and how many is this just for one person

or for two people i don't understand well are you sharing it or is it for one for you know i mean

how many people will be in the in the apartment yeah this is a single apartment studio okay and

for share for share okay all right all right so then when i go to the bathroom did you want to

share the bathroom also is it just one bathroom yeah just one bedroom all right so when you're

taking shower do you take a shower or no yes okay all right you do so when you take a shower like

if i have to make a bathroom um do i have to wait or can i use it while you're showering well i

go in there real quick and you don't look yeah we have showers so it's okay while you're taking

a shower if i go sit on the toilet and push out my my shit in the toilet right yeah that's okay

Okay, all right, good, that's good.

And then are there any beds or where do we sleep, on the floor?

Yes.

We sleep on the floor?

On the floor, yeah.

Okay, and how many times do you take a shower a week?

One time?

Who?

You.

Oh, maybe 20 times?

10 times a week?

20 times a week.

What do you mean 20 times in each?

Each.

Bitch?

I'm saying bitch.

You're saying bitch.

Are you a bitch?

You don't understand me?

Are you a bitch?

You said you're a bitch?

Your mother's a bitch?

I don't know what he said.

What was he saying?

He says yes to anything, doesn't he?

Witch.

Like, witch.

I don't know what the fuck he...

Who cares, right?

You calling him back?

Yeah.

Let me try a female voice.

Please leave your message for...

For Assad.

Muhammad Atta.

So you ended the show early, you said?

Yeah, I'm sick.

I gotta go to work.

Oh.

Please leave your message for...

All right.

Oh, yeah.

Well, that was good.

Thanks for that, Ken.

Very good number, Ken, with the things.

the people sharing the one bedroom

it's just such a weird thing

sharing one bedroom apartment

who the hell does that

snoring

he's creepy because he's asking for a female roommate

when you think about it

he's a pervert

only one woman

only one woman who has to sleep next to me

on floor

right

lonesome's in the house

lonesome loser sending in a number for Larry

offering a wild hog hunting trip

is that true

Then we, I think, already caught that one.

Yes, Milkman, what?

Hey, before we get too far, I just noticed this.

I got a message and I just saw it here.

Just want to let everybody know I got a message from AMD

and he's going to be sending his father off.

And I'd like to give a big shout-out to Father Brill, born 20th of September, 1950.

Many good wishes and condolences to you and the family, AMD.

Yeah, that's AMD, lost his grandfather.

uh last week his father his father his father i'm sorry one o'clock st mary's and caldecott

everybody's welcome there'll be a buffet and a musical tribute to close for friends oh good

very good man well let's take a ride out there we'll go we'll be there milkman's gonna pick me

up in this hey man they've got a number to call man so you know only serious calls on any prank

will be banned at least there you go well hey ted you believe in reincarnation um yeah good

but not not heavily oh okay the we got a woman selling cloth diapers this comes from lonesome

loser cloth diapers and burp rags what that was a burp rag uh i don't know it sounds like when

you have when you fart and you shit a little bit of shit comes out when you fart a shart

Yeah.

A shart?

Yeah.

These are protection.

It won't take an hour or an hour and a half for it to become kimchi.

Oh, God.

I want to do more pranks, but I can't, man.

I'm just fucking...

I really need to sleep.

Hello?

Hi.

How are you doing?

I'm sorry.

I'm sick.

I'm going to put Ted on the line for cloth diapers.

Hello?

Hi.

I'm calling about the ad.

Okay.

You're selling some rags and some cloth diapers?

I'm selling the cloth diapers, yeah.

What about the burp rags?

Did you sell those already?

I thought I deleted everything, yeah.

Can you repeat that?

I thought I deleted all those.

Yeah, I have the burp rags still.

I mean, sorry, not the burp rags, the cloth diapers.

What is a burp rag?

A burp rag is a thin rag.

I use the cloth diapers as rags because when it's really heavy spit up, it doesn't leak through.

What if I use the diaper as, like, a burp rag?

Is that acceptable?

That's what I did with them, yeah.

So after they were soiled, you put them on the child's mouth?

I know this is a prank call. Give me a break. It's late.

And no, I never put them on my child's butt. I do not use cloth diapers.

I use them as rags.

Why put on cloth diapers? I don't understand.

This ain't a rag. It's a flag.

This is not a prank call. I'm really interested in buying these rags.

This ain't a rag. It's a flag.

You remember that stupid song when Line 11 happened?

Santa Rag, it's a flag.

Hey, Hermano, can I update this?

The send-off, sending him off with a pound of devil, he's going to pull it off.

With a...

Send him off to the toilet.

Tribute joke, him and his dad, a week before his passing.

About a toilet?

You know, the joke.

Yeah, send him off to the toilet.

So here he goes, man, one for the books.

Santa Rag, it's a flag, Oakman.

There you go, man.

That's one funny guy, man.

He's got the cutest kid, he's an old lady.

God bless you, AMD.

And they like pizza a lot, those guys.

You know?

That word repeats a lot.

I'm telling you.

Lonesome, if you're out confirming numbers, don't confirm numbers, man,

because I've got to shut the show off here any second now.

I'm picking and choosing off of your list to see if anything jumps out at me here.

But take a night off, my man.

You've earned it.

And I have, too.

Milkman has it.

Are there any people named Anita Gopher Dump?

Anita Gopher Dump?

Anita Dick?

No, none of those.

Too bad.

You've got to bend over.

You do.

No, I don't.

I don't.

big girl selling some

Ed Hardy women's plus size

jeans for $50

woman selling rare to find

Fisher Price dancing

monkey band I have no idea what

that is sounds like a toy

sounds like a waste of money

people looking to buy livestock

they really want to buy

some cow heifers so

offer to sell them some fat girls

there you go there's an idea milkman

we'll put a little sell milkman

there you go all right it's for the cell you're talking so milkman i'm pulling his teats a little

bit there oh my all right this will be the last lonesome number and i'll try one or two of the

walmart lube calls and we're done i keep saying we're done after this then after this and i keep

getting dragged down this toilet i blame milkman i do too man it's always causing problems

say the milk it's a man hello how you doing babe hello yeah you old half of you yeah

Hey, Dirty Aaron said that he tried to call you on the Skype machine.

I don't know if it's pertaining to the show or just bullshit.

I don't know.

Dirty Aaron, you should have the new Skype thing.

I'll call you from it.

I'm dialing him from the right one.

Ted, who was the guy that did the pranks where they called some black lady

and they're like, you know what I mean, where the black lady went off?

She's like, what is she saying?

no penis hey you're talking about well they were like the black lady was like have you ever fucked

a pussy motherfucker don't call here no more you know what i'm talking about have you ever sucked

a dick that one was that fatness um fatness yeah fat this is funny man i miss that kid

have you ever sucked a dick oh so you did you change this madhouse pranks what's the deal with

You switched it up or what?

Yeah, yeah, that's the new one because the other one got shut down by NORAD.

So this is the one we use.

Aaron, did you hear before?

Are you all right if we're going to have to move my house to Saturday night or Friday night?

We want a Saturday night.

Is that okay with you?

Yeah, well, yeah, it doesn't really matter to me.

I mean, I just go on like once every three weeks or something like that.

All right.

I mean, if you guys go on until, you know, 3 a.m. over there, I can't go on,

but I could go on, like, at, like, midnight Eastern, you know, or something like that.

Yeah, yeah.

Or 1 a.m. Eastern and then follow you up on Saturday.

That's cool.

We could have, like, mega nights.

So, like, when I'm done, you know, then you could take over after that.

We'd go super late.

That sandwich play really gets you a lot of mileage here.

You'd be surprised, man.

Yeah, no, that sounds good.

Well, I know I've had good success.

Before and afters always do good.

Yeah.

Dirty Aaron's had good success in sandwiches, apparently, he was going to say.

Yeah, yeah.

I like penis in the mouth.

likes hot sandwiches oh you're the meat in the sandwich yeah so i was calling i was messaging

and calling uh the old uh thing so should i just delete that fucker or what uh keep it on you can

message me on there but for the show this is this is yeah this is the production one yeah this is

for sure production line got it the production line that's good for talking during the week and

stuff yeah oh for my my messaging yeah which you never really messaged i never really hardly

at least ever see you on there man yeah well i'm on well what happened is i'll leave it on

and then death fox will message me like five times in a day and then i shut it off i hear you

yeah and then yeah and uh well yesterday during dinner uh uh which guy was it hold on i got a

name here uh one of the guys was calling me in the middle of dinner or something like that

brent keifer no it wasn't brent keifer it was uh it was dark overlord uh brent keifer some guy that

calls me all the time that's why i said all

So, yeah, well, I went on a couple like last week, and then the stream kept kicking me.

But the week before, we did like two or three hours, I think.

Yeah, yeah, I got to, I don't know.

I told Carlito about the delivery driver you got in trouble.

Hey, it's Ken.

Yeah, we got the delivery driver.

He probably got his ass beat.

Yeah, I heard about that.

Now, Ken, we tried to call that guy back last week.

It didn't really take off, right?

Yeah, he didn't answer.

Yeah, he didn't answer, yeah.

Before you go, Carlito, I sent a request to Frank in of a guy selling fleshlights.

You got to call that dude.

Ew, are they used?

Really?

No, they're new, but I want you to ask for a used one.

Oh, okay, good.

The FatDisc calls posted?

That's cool.

Good deal.

So did you want the FatDisc, or is someone already posted?

Does someone already have it?

I think KDK has that one on his site.

FatDisc sent me a CD in the mail, a couple CDs in the mail, so I have a lot of them.

That's cool.

He's a man.

Anybody could...

Yeah, Ted.

oh by the way the blue planet prank radio website on the internet.com hello oh hi yes this is walmart

you brought in your car carol for a windshield wipers yes okay we put the wrong windshield

wipers on that car have you tried using them at all uh yes i drove to olympia after we got left

left Walmart, and my son was driving.

Why?

What are they supposed to not be doing?

Well, they're not supposed to be going left to right.

They're supposed to go right to left.

Okay.

The problem is...

So, would you like me to bring it in tomorrow?

Yeah, but, you see, you're already...

I'm sorry?

We can't put these back on the shelf because you already used them, though, you see.

I didn't understand what you said.

I said, God damn it.

You said you already used them, right?

I have used them, yes.

The gentleman installed them for me.

Yeah, we can't put them back on the shelf if you already used them.

Yeah, can I talk to her?

Yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, this is Bubba.

I done put them on your car, the wipers.

Are they working all right for you?

Because my boss over here, he gave me a hard time saying I done put the wrong wipers on your car,

and I told him that I didn't mess up.

So are they working all right for you, ma'am?

Well, it wasn't you that put them on.

It was somebody else.

What do you mean it wasn't me?

No, Bubba put them on.

He did.

No, I put them on a goddamn car.

What do you mean it was somebody else?

How do you know it was somebody else?

Because you don't sound like the same gentleman that I spoke to.

Oh, go ahead and say it.

Say it, you honky-tonk.

Say I sound like a black man.

Say it.

You do.

You racist bitch.

Listen, the fact of the matter is,

the wipers that are on there go right to left instead of left to right.

So we need to replace them, but we can't put these back on the shelf,

so we're going to have to charge you again for the wipers, I mean.

What color is your wipers?

Are they black?

I'm sorry.

I'm going to end this discussion, and I'll be in there tomorrow.

Thank you.

Will you just check your wipers?

Tell me which way they go.

She's gone.

That's a good thing to check.

What temperature is the water in your toilet?

It wasn't you.

As a matter of fact, you do sound like...

No ignorant black dude installed them.

It wasn't you.

Yeah.

Great.

Well, I was going to say that I upped the server to support 200 listeners.

Oh, hey.

Yeah, because I noticed people were trying to get on,

and once I upped it, it hit a peak of like 130 peeps.

There you go.

I was going to say, try to get with, in the IRC, Death Talks.

I don't know if you heard before, but he's sending up a prank call Wikipedia,

a prank wiki.

and you know a lot of the older prank callers

and way back in the Brill Building kind of thing.

He might be able to pick your brain a little bit

to get some info for that.

I don't know.

Or contribute if you can.

Do you have a list of prankers that we have here?

Yeah, they've already requested that come in

and put some of this information down.

There you go.

Pranky.com.

On the prank tip.

All right.

So when I kick the Madhouse stream,

oh, you're calling.

Oh, go ahead.

no fuck it fuck it when i when i kick the madhouse stream does it kick the blue planet stream too or

what how does that work no so do you have to kick let me get this straight you have to kick the

madhouse stream the blue planet stream and the cacti stream well if you got to kick the one you're

going to be on so for like for me i i kick all three i think do you have cacti info i don't know

do you just go on that house right brad was doing brad was repeating it a few weeks ago whenever i

i was doing it but no the problem is so the other question i have is that the stream is supposed to

be at uh 24 kilobytes a second or something like that right but my encoder it says uh like 22.050

is that the same no no that's that's got to be at 24 because it'll that's that's where you get

that weird buffering problem you're having people are getting yeah yeah and they eventually they

They drop out.

Well, they drop out and I drop out.

Yeah, I was having a really bad latency problem last week.

Well, that 22 number, that's the hertz.

You want to look for KBPS, that number.

Okay, hold on.

I'm going to open it up real quick because –

or maybe I can hook up with you guys later or something.

I don't want to take over the show.

That's cool.

Yeah, they both got to match.

They got to match those two numbers,

the 64k BPS

and the 24k HZ

it's going to match perfect

I don't think stereo has to be stereo

that doesn't matter

stereo or mono right?

stereo will sound better

but if you do mono it will use less bandwidth

it will be a little easier on your end

because you're not pushing out two different channels

you're just pushing out one channel

if you have lower bandwidth

or bandwidth problems

I would say stick to mono

no one will really notice that much of a difference

Yeah, because if people are not going to put headphones on, damn cute.

Yeah, exactly.

Right.

Yeah, there you go.

So, yeah, my output, hold on, let me look at this, encoder, 64, yeah, okay, 64 kilobytes per second.

It says 22.050 hertz.

It doesn't matter, 64 kilobytes per second is good, right?

Yeah, but you've got to get the hertz to 24 instead of 22.

It's got to be 22, 22.

Yeah, it doesn't give me an option for that.

You can't change it?

okay i guess it has a bunch of different options it goes from 22 to 44 really but you can't 24 at

all i don't know ted guys are confusing the shit out of me there's two numbers there's kilobits per

second and then there's hertz usually you have 11 kilohertz 22 kilohertz or 44 kilohertz that's

right that's what i have 22 or 44 you want the other number you want 24 you want 24 22 no he he's

He's got the bit rate he's doing right, 64-bit KBPS on my stream.

He's got that right.

The sample rate is what he's talking about.

Yeah, the sample rate isn't because the station is set to 24 kilohertz sample rate,

but he's got it.

I think I can change that to 22.

I could just drop it.

4 is nonstandard.

I don't remember.

I'm just going to start dropping that.

Aaron, I'll drop that so you're...

22.44 is what it normally sets up, 42 or 44.

Yeah, all right, I'm going to kill that 24.

I'm going to make it just 22.

Yeah, 22.050 hertz, that's the bit rate.

Is that what you're saying there, Bill Gates?

It's a sample rate like milkman's.

The bit rate is 64.

You're good.

Yeah, Aaron, keep your settings like they are, 64 KBS and 22.

uh yeah yeah i mean i had so much problem with that sand and salmon

coater i wanted to shoot myself in the face

all right yeah it's it can be a bitch sometimes make sure you do it on the air

it makes yeah let's do stuff on the face yeah i'll do that there you go all right

hey just let everybody like let everybody hear the gay crying music too

man we call it there you go all right ted kdk said that he he accidentally

shot a rifle when he was talking to you he told me

this recently he was talking to me accidentally he

He was on the air, and he was, like, doing this thing where he was pretending like he was going to kill himself,

although we didn't know he was pretending.

I heard that one, too.

Ted's right, man.

The guy was, like, trying to bait people.

Like, a whole big pity party.

He wanted to kill himself, and then he banged the gun.

I remember that.

And then he went off air, and I tried calling him because, like, for three months.

We all tried.

We were all flipping out.

Yeah, and he left it on silence, and then he played, like, people screaming,

like in the like a really crappy youtube video people screaming like oh my god

yeah he did yeah but i he called me on skype and he's like you know ted save me i was talking to

him and i was saying i wanted to kill myself and i was messing with the right my dad's rifle

and his shot and i ran away he said he got in his car and drove off because he was afraid that the

cops were going to come uh-huh yeah that's what he said anyway whatever screw him anyways you know

I wouldn't have been as pissed off if I hadn't been playing Dr. Phil

for the three months prior, like, listening to all his problems and shit.

Exactly.

Oh, yeah, Ted, he was deeply helping him.

You know, a lot of us were all trying to rally to his side,

but, you know, he just kept getting deeper and deeper

until finally, man, he pulled that shit.

And, you know, after he blew everybody's mind and scared everybody off,

you know, everybody backed away,

and the people that still came around afterwards,

and he cussed them all out

because that was me,

Ellie,

Brandon Vegas,

all the rest of the old timers,

you know,

Gord,

you know,

all of us make up

all of us up and down.

I still talk to Nio

like she hangs out

in the HKC radio

team talk server.

So I go over there a lot

to talk to her

and she still has trauma

associated with KDK.

Like everybody does.

Everyone's fucking therapy

because of him.

I'm for him.

All right.

Look, here's the last call of the night because I'm going to go to sleep.

Cameroonian embassy in Tokyo.

Cameroon recently, didn't they find people guilty of being gay

because they ordered, what was it, a Bailey's Irish coffee?

A Bailey's, what was it?

You know the Bailey's Irish cream?

Irish cream.

Yeah, yes.

Two guys ordered that together in a bar, and they accused them of being gay,

and they got charged with homosexuality, which is a huge crime in Cameroon.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, man.

Brent, you want to take this one?

Brent Westwood.

Yeah.

What is it?

The Cameroonian Embassy in Tokyo.

Okay.

Moshi moshi.

Hello.

Yonamai wa nandesuka?

Hello, Cameroonian Embassy.

How can I help you?

Oh, you speak English?

Oh, French.

Better.

It's better.

Oh, French, huh?

Okay.

I was looking for a man to speak with.

Sorry?

I'm looking for...

Are you French?

Yeah, but there's no...

anglophone now i'm alone at the office if you have any inquiry you can send an email from our website

okay so you're alone why are you wearing a skirt sorry sorry are you wearing a little dress little

girls if it is not for consular affairs don't call please this is an embassy no i know this

is not a concierge you touch it i'm sorry there's no anglophone here

What's the French word for pussy, I forget, from Bruno?

Chat?

I don't know.

Chat.

No, that's cat.

Pousois.

Le poisson.

That's fish.

Ask her for some poisson.

You can't not pick up the phone if you're an embassy.

Ooh, the poisson.

God, that ring is killing my brain.

It is, man.

It's making me fucking nuts.

Come on, answer.

I wanted to tell her a little girl shouldn't be alone this late at night.

She's not answering.

Yeah.

It's true.

That's better.

Let me speak French to her.

Okay.

Do it.

Bonjour, madame.

Bonjour.

Hello.

Oui, bonjour.

Bonjour, monsieur.

Voulez-vous accoucher avec moi ce soir?

Pardon?

Voulez-vous accoucher avec moi ce soir?

Qui êtes-vous, monsieur?

Deux.

Do you speak English or do you speak French?

I speak both.

Yes.

What do you prefer to speak, French or English?

Well, did you say French or ignorance?

Or English.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, what I had asked you is whether or not you wanted to go to bed with me.

Do you not speak French?

No, I don't speak French.

So, do you know what you're calling?

I thought I was calling a brothel.

No, this is an embassy.

Oh, well, you guys do that too, don't you?

You fuck people for money?

No, no, we are not joking here.

Okay, thank you, sir.

Thank you for calling.

We are not joking in here.

Okay, bye-bye.

Yes, hi.

I was curious about the embassy.

This is the Cameroonian embassy.

I order you to respond.

We are not joking here.

Please don't call again.

Listen, listen.

I'm homosexual.

Yeah, we're homosexuals.

Don't call again, please.

We want to kiss you.

You look handsome.

You look like, I'm gay.

deal with it

hey

oh man

so should he want to arrest us

because we're gay

yeah he will

he's gonna get the Japanese

well actually Japanese are pretty intimidating

when it comes to jails

I hear their jails are real fucked up there man

you can wash your hair and they only give you three cups of water

to rinse your hair with

that's it

That's what I hear

You shave your head

That's where you end up shaving your head

Probably keeps the lice down

Alright guys

I know it's an early night but I'm sick

So I'm going to shut the show off because I have to go to work tomorrow

Okay well hey I'm going to do an after show

Awesome

Are you really because I'm going to listen

Yeah I am

Lonesome sent me numbers

I'm going to try and kick the stream

At 22 bit weight

For minutes

minutes okay it's gonna sound like shit though because i still haven't worked out the audio

okay um i need to hold a tabachi see if you can help me for that i don't know what the fuck

all right while you do that i will try to push that i will try to keep it at 20 i'll try to

make the fix on mine before i go to sleep here but i'm going to tune in also uh from my bed on

my android phone so i can hear all right okay so not the precious song but i'll entertain me do a

good job all right see you later entertain me everyone stay tuned for dirty aaron after the

the show bye yeah and ken bye ken see you later ken feel better yeah whatever bye thanks see you

ted thanks for being on man it was fun good talking to you as always yeah bye and milkman

bye oh yeah thanks a lot air money oh say thanks to everybody well i don't want to do the whole

long drawn out thing because i'm i really want to go to sleep hey that's right here on the internet

that we love you all we do this every week man we drop the dime this ass that you give us don't

Don't miss us on our new show at 10 p.m. on Saturday.

When is that going to be, Armando, our new show date, time?

Next week, Saturday at 10 p.m. Eastern, 7 p.m. Pacific.

Yeah, that's right.

It's early for the madhouse, and we do it that way.

Much love, my brother, and thank you.

Yay!

All right.

That's it?

All right.

So here's what I'm going to do.

i'm going to keep my rotation playing with pranks uh up until which time dirty aaron takes over

uh so that we have stuff playing okay so keep staying tuned here for madhouse pranks

dirty aaron joining here in just a little bit and i will catch you here next saturday

have a good week everybody call the box man we got plenty of things

Calls (9, 18 min of 1 h 18 min)

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