Lost Prank Call: Michelle Off Air
29 Apr 2013 · 8 min · 1,433 words · source
Transcript
Oh my God, why'd you tell that guy that, you know, you were going to get me in trouble and stuff?
That's not cool.
Who is this?
It's Eddie.
Eddie?
Yeah, what's up?
Eddie, I called that number you gave me, and it has a girl's message on it.
You sound weird.
It popped up once and left.
You didn't let it ring long enough.
What's your real number, then?
That's the number.
You called it.
It rang here for like a half second, and it hung up.
You're going to be terrified.
You're probably not going to get it.
Well, you scared me.
you you scared the shit out of me i don't really need to scare the shit out of me i already know
what pornos or sex are there's entertainment business i kind of have like entertainment
business are you a fluffer and no i used to be scared i was a slut and a guy was like no michelle
you're not like a slut yeah look what we did and i don't even know and i'm single and i'm by myself
and it's okay what do you mean wait a minute why did they think you were a slut because you had a
a lot of sex no no i'm not gonna say anything else to you if you're gonna scare me you'd like
to scaring me you did a lot of blow jobs no oh yeah baby oh yeah oh yeah oh no i didn't shut up
i'm doing why did you call me i'm masturbating right now go jerk off to somebody else oh yeah
no it feels good keep talking you're so hot when you're angry you know i think i told you that
earlier you're really hot when you're angry honey baby no i'm not and you scare me you make me sick
i'm sorry i'm sorry you sound like like a valley girl like it's totally stuck up you scare me and
make me sick i was just kidding um i am i am living in the valley i was born in l.a like
hollywood though like hollywood proper oh my god and i know a lot of mexicans and shit people too
even i'm totally white i don't care i don't care if they're black or mexican why would you say
of that stupid i don't know because you're scaring me like i'm not a valley girl like
how big are your pussy lips would you shut up i think you're gross well do you have big pussy
bumpers you do nice no you just said no and shut up don't talk to me don't call me and talk to me
like that all right i'll call you when i'm sober i'll call you we'll be friends okay i'll apologize
why wait when i said to hold you i messaged to pray for you to get sober well no i won't be
drunk tomorrow you know what am i supposed to pray for you to get sober and shit i don't need
you to pray for me nothing you're not my mother or my father so whatever no i don't you're right
whatever oh am i supposed to pray for you to get sober i don't need you to pray for me shit
well you pray with a finger up your ass no that that scared me yeah whatever maybe reggie can
come over and fuck you again like last night like he did earlier rather he's such a dirty girl i
I can't believe you did that with Reggie.
Yeah, whatever.
But you thought about it.
But I didn't.
Did I fuck all my neighbors and the last guy that I went and saw the store?
You banged them all?
Yeah.
Did I?
That's what you're saying.
That's what you're saying, dude.
No, I just said Reggie.
What, did you fuck all the chicks that run around everywhere?
Why was Reggie there for so long?
He's not here, actually.
You're crazy.
He was there for a long time.
You are crazy.
You're a crazy motherfucker scaring me.
He was there for a long time.
And Reggie's not here.
He was there for a long time.
No, he wasn't.
Yeah, he was.
longer than he had
to be there
do you know him
you hate Reggie
yeah
Reggie's a friend of mine
he's my friend
what do you hate
my neighbors
do you hate me
who's your fucking
mother and father
where do you live with
what the fuck
is wrong with you
he's more of my friend
than your friend
huh
he's more my friend
than your friend
it's like my worst
nightmare come true
like I was like
why did I not
know that guy anymore
like another man
has a dude crush on him
yeah
huh
no one's messing
with me here
you make me think
I think, like, what, did some guy have a man crush on some guy that I knew before
that was my coworker or friend or maybe my dad?
Yeah, well, I don't know why Reggie said...
My dad was named Ray Clevenger.
Do you have a crush on my dad?
Are you a fucking weirdo?
He's an asshole.
He was an asshole, and he's dead, though, two years ago.
Yeah.
What's up with your mom?
What's she doing?
Is she getting laid?
I bet she's dead.
You don't even know your mom?
If she's not dead, I'm not going to find her.
She can call me.
She can look me up on the Internet and call me.
Is that why you're broke?
No, I've been doing things by myself since I was age 18.
Oh, wow, yeah, like going to USC and sucking dicks?
No, I don't suck dick for money.
I've had parties and had friends and stuff.
I don't suck dick for money.
That's called prostitution, and it's illegal.
You had sex parties, sex orgies.
Who are you calling for?
I had some women friends who are nasty bitches.
Okay, all right, I'm going to go.
Are you calling for the sake of these women?
They're nasty bitches.
bitches they really did get money to suck dick there it's called prostitution it's illegal okay
and they weren't very nice women they didn't just need some money they were they're mean they're
mean they're not fun to talk to no they mean and they scared me oh are you excited what are you a
cop i'm gonna pray for you not to be a whore anymore what i'm gonna pray for you not to be
a whore anymore i've never was a whore you idiot yeah you're a whore right now you had reggie over
over there for reggie was over there for far too long longer than he had to be a week and a half
he was he shouldn't have been there that long today because he's supposed to be with me you
want reggie so bad because he's hot are you gay you sound gay for guys keep for guys yeah i'm gay
for guys yeah okay all right i'm gonna go again it was nice talking to you again bye honey baby
my honey why are you doing this why do you gay for guys or something yeah yeah yeah what did you
do any well you were in the movie joyride right on it i'm the crew you know what cruise yeah yeah
i wasn't an actor you don't see me yeah i know but why are you looking at all my shit so much
and i hate me because you're beautiful then why don't you be nicer well i'm gonna call you when
you forget all of this and i'm gonna have you let me stay there for a hundred dollars a week
and then i'm gonna have a joyride on you you know no you're not you're gonna have a joyride on me
on top of my you know on top of me you're gonna go like that no i'm not i'm not gonna do that
you're gonna make train noises like that you bad girl all right bye honey no i'm a good girl
idiot no you're not you're dirty girl no i'm a good girl dirty old 42 year old girl with herpes
No, I don't have herpes.
My friend got herpes.
She's a fucking prostitute for real.
Okay.
She's not my friend anymore.
All right, cool.
All right, bye.
All right, bye, everybody, for real now.
That's it.
No more.
Good night.
Comments 0
Loading comments…