You Da Muthafucka
31 Oct 2013 · 1 h · 8,151 words · source
Calls (15, 28 min of 1 h)
- Cake design machine birthday cake order live 5.2 min clip ↓
- T-Mobile automated menu ivr 43 s clip ↓
- Voicemail left for Lux voicemail 43 s clip ↓
- Cross on phone talk show live 1.1 min clip ↓
- Green Meadow Apartments emergency line ivr 1.6 min clip ↓
- Lube place machine prank call live 55 s clip ↓
- New Life Church of God prank call live 1.8 min clip ↓
- White Devil interrupts church call live 1.3 min clip ↓
- Chicken place meal machine inquiry live 2.4 min clip ↓
- Zaxby's staff free meal offer live 51 s clip ↓
- Zaxby's Henny Penny machine inquiry live 2.2 min clip ↓
- Sticks and shit furniture store live 1.1 min clip ↓
- Ming's Garden Chinese food order live 3.4 min clip ↓
- Pool owner asked about wallet in pool live 4.2 min clip ↓
- Birthday message to Milkman via voicemail voicemail 49 s clip ↓
Transcript
I'm not playing no fucking games, man.
I, I fuck you, son of a bitch.
Stop making a stupid comment.
You're out of your crazy mind.
You ain't getting no goddamn dollars.
I'll fuck you all night long.
You're not perfect.
Why don't you piss off?
You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast.
Sin, tried, and true.
98.6.
Hello, everybody.
This is B. Carlito after a lengthy hour.
hiatus from doing shows for reasons everybody already knows let's not talk about let's just do
prank calls while i'm still alive yeah i'm a fucking motherfucker cake design machine
no matt matt's not answering no answer matt that's his name today no answer matt
to the new scenario where we roam our tiny planet was continuously shrouded i hope you
You guys are having a happy Halloween.
It's a birthday for two of my friends, Big Eddie.
Eddie from Florida, who I grew up with, and he's a good friend.
I don't talk to him as much, but we keep up on Facebook.
And then also the Milkman's birthday is today, motherfucker.
So we'll have to call Milkman.
He probably won't answer if he doesn't recognize the number.
So I figured I could leave him a birthday song.
And then I'm going to have to go get the cell phone.
Because he only answers to numbers that he recognizes.
Everything else is right to voicemail.
Kind of like in this fucking Winamp, man.
Like, it's right now, for some reason, it goes from blasting to nothing.
Like right here.
But if I do that, I end up yelling over myself and shit.
I don't want to do that.
We've got to do something about that.
Anyway, cake design machine.
Let's give them a call and ask about cakes.
Cake for Milkman.
Cake design.
Hey, babe, buddy.
God bless you.
How are you?
I'm sorry, I can hardly hear you.
What now?
How are you?
God bless you.
Well, God bless you, too.
What can I do for you?
Amen.
Yeah, and God bless today because it's my friend Milkman's birthday.
so i wanted to see about getting a short notice small birthday cake
when you need it um when do i need it motherfucker uh today at some point i'll come pick it up
anytime what you gonna need i'm pretty well booked for this week but since it's uh thanksgiving i
mean uh halloween and all what you gonna need small little cake small do you have a small just
It's just a small birthday cake that we can put a little bit of engraving on, you know?
Icing message, a small one.
Is it for a man or a woman?
It's for a man.
He's a man.
Okay.
Hold on just a second.
Let me get up here.
He likes cats, you know?
He likes Japanese movies like Godzilla.
He likes Android.
I can't do nothing with all that.
How old is he?
He's 52, I think.
52?
Yeah.
Okay, let me put his feet on hold just a second.
But he's operationally, he's like 20.
All right.
That's about it.
All right.
What's your name?
This is Cross.
I'm sorry.
Cross.
You must be on a speakerphone.
I can hardly hear a word you're saying.
Cross.
Cross.
Spell it.
C-R-O-S-S.
Cross.
Okay.
What's your first name?
Eddie.
Eddie?
Yeah, but I just put Cross.
Just Cross.
Hey, is that better?
I took you off a speakerphone.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Kill me.
Fuck yeah, man.
I'm old.
I can't hear anyway, so you're killing me here.
Fucking shit, right?
It's fucking bullshit.
It's fucking speakerphone shit.
What's your phone number, Eddie?
You said Eddie?
Yeah, just cross.
Just put down cross.
Everyone calls me cross.
What's your phone number?
You know, does it come up on the ID there?
It's a work number.
I don't even know what comes out.
Okay.
Well, you're going to do an 8-inch round.
Yeah.
White icing.
White icing, yeah.
And then can I tell you what to put on there?
What you want?
Happy birthday, Milkman.
M-I-L-K-M-A-N.
Happy birthday, Milkman.
We think that you are one of the best workers here.
Oh, my goodness.
I can't write all that on an 8-inch round.
And we love you.
I can do happy birthday, Milkman.
Huh?
Okay.
I can write happy birthday, Milkman, on the cake and maybe do a big 5-2,
but I can't write all that on an 8-inch round.
If you got to do it really small, you know, like a pen, like you have a pen.
Well, you're not writing with a pen.
You're writing with an icing tip.
You can't get it too small.
All right, what do you want?
We think you are.
We think you are a super special guy.
Awesome, number one.
Okay, I can't get all that on there.
Make it what you want on there.
Abbreviate this.
Come on.
How much happy?
You're awesome.
You're awesome.
You're awesome, number one.
just the pound sign and the number one or can you spell out o-n-e yeah spell it out let's see what
we can get on there and then a big and then a big 52 big fucking 52 big man your language is
terrible here yeah i'm from out of town well yeah well you're in town now man come on i'm from
okay a big five two god damn yeah big god damn okay okay all right all right
not gonna be able to do your cake today sir
asshole pissed me off i just start grunting at him like a retard okay so there you go milkman
big fucking message on a eight inch cake stupid that's a prick i used to do when i was fucking
fucking 15 years old that was my hot prank i call the fucking grocery store bakery departments
with i want order i've got an old one that does that i think i still have it i created an example
of that in those man house um pre-med house carlito calls but i could i i'm remiss i have
it here somewhere archived i just don't know what to type in off the top of my head to pull it up
so you're gonna have to find it or or just remember or think about what i'm saying it
ended up being gay like she was like a fag hag but then i said i wanted to come on i wanted to
party with her and her boyfriend and look at her boyfriend and something and she got all weird
the hell was that i know it was a food lion it was this redneck ass food lion town there was
was a food line in the middle of nowhere and it was like one of like five food lines left in
florida and it was because it was out in the fucking boonies it was the only store the rednecks
had so they i remember being in middle school and you could still find like uh confederate flag
hats and bandanas for sale in their little front section where they had a few hats and gloves and
and stuff like that and uh you know every store grocery store that has a little section where you
can get you know like a pack of socks or something anyway there yeah the the i was i think i was like
a freshman in high school and i saw it and i said that's a lawsuit waiting to happen or
controversy at least i'm surprised no one's ever done anything about that and but after that they
stopped doing it. Again, a very redneck food line that I called, and she became really homophobic
really fast after saying that she started out saying that she liked gay people. And the minute
I made a comment that I wanted to get with her boyfriend, she got really homophobic to say.
I want to say a big thanks to all 122 listeners on Shoutcast, on our three Shoutcast machines, which are Blue Planet Prank Radio, which is also a live machine, Phone Losers of America, PLA Radio Station.
station and then of course here and the main frame main bass machine uh madhouse live.com
be sure to be in the chat room with three other people who are talking right now
at uh 10 30 we started around 10 30 in the morning here i can't play music because it's
gonna fucking blast and youtube's gonna flag me watch that's that's a little more manageable
i'm gonna have to distort my microphone a bit to get over it i gotta work on that fucking shit
i take two weeks off and everything fucking collapses big lux was on doing a show last
night that was really nice i was so happy to hear lux last night and then he got ended up
getting really drunk and singing for a while and then i think he just disconnected or passed out i
I don't know what the fuck that was about.
I mean, I went out and a lot of people told me, hey, give Lux a chance.
You know what I mean?
And be serious with it.
Lux, I'm letting you be on the shoutcast.
That's the main thing.
That's big time, Lux.
And if you're not listening live, you should be listening recorded.
I'm going to post this directly out there.
If you want to be on Madhouse, if you're going to do a shoutcast show,
that's like you know that's a different level you know that's me brad um brent brent westwood
is on there and then now zax i understand is gonna start doing shows lux did a show last night
he had his first show last night doing it and dialer is going to be going on later today
after me he'll probably be interrupting the shit show i'm doing this morning at noon and he goes on
on his lunch break he's gonna run to his car and open up his netbook and he says he's ready uh
technologically he says he's ready to handle being on the big time so anyway i'm saying
and i got full faith in dyler and i have i i have faith in zacks i haven't heard a lot of his stuff
but i've heard him on other shows and i've talked with the young man and he sees he seems to be a
a nice guy, a smart guy, but Lux, remember, it's the big time when you get into the Shellcast
stream club. Don't drink to excess too much. Oh yeah, I forgot Matt. Well, this is the
kettle calling the pot black. Matt's on also, and he gets silly, and he gets out of line
too sometimes, but he's Matt, you know? Matt, fucking hell up.
Thank you for calling T-Mobile.
Address and stores like to be connected to the retail store.
Please visit us at www.t-mobile.com.
I don't want to go there.
Look at that shit.
The only reason I go there is to pay my motherfucking bill, motherfucker.
Here's a place called Aronov.
Aronov.
That sounds like a Russian syndicate.
Let me ask him about that.
Hey, guys.
Madhouse Radio is back.
I guess no show tonight.
night but a show this morning and i'm excited about talking to you guys i'm excited for myself
let's harass people let's start with the dad he's a very rude young man now the dad cerebral palsy
friend of ours the cerebral palsy king of prank calls the debt just got married recently in the
dominican republic to a dirty girl and he keeps calling me all the time when he's not supposed
supposed to call now he's not answering let's try to call lux let's see if we can get lux to
respond to the charges i just wanted to see what the hell he was talking about he got so
fucked up last night he started out strong he started out strong but at some point i just
heard he was fucking out of control no response from lux calling him and he will not respond well
i'd be an asshole for calling people out of the blue in the middle of the day you know i really
really hate it when people do that to me the person whom you're trying to reach is currently
unavailable please leave a message after the beep hey boy hey lux just carlito and i'm live
this is thursday morning 11 a.m eastern motherfucker and i'm a lot i'm alive and i'm
live mr lux i wanted to talk to you about your show last night you drank a lot man you drank
you know a little bit to excess and i'm worried about you anyway i'll talk to you later see you
bye that's big lux getting a message from carlita all right so there was no answer at aronov
three fountains apartment complex should be giving out the full name of these places
duh just making it hard on myself then i have to edit well tabachi has to edit
hey big nicole how are you fine how are you oh big girl how you been yeah oh this is cross this
cross how are you who cross i'm not i'm not picking up your voice i'm cross i'm cross that's
me i'm cross you know cross well did you come here for uh you came here for uh-huh yeah i did
what's your name cross oh one moment okay it's fucking scared people are so
like thrown into a loop when they hear a name cross i don't know why
ever since i started using that everyone's like cross what do you mean cross
that's why i kept using it there's a radio talk show i used to listen to
when i was in high school and it was the bill cross show with bill cross he's really funny
and he was on late nights he was on like midnight to 6 a.m justin orlando and that's where i got
the name cross from and i've used it for prank calls like since i was a teenager i was a cross
that's a funny one cross who wasn't this is nicole hey this is cross how are you big girl
you said cross cross who cross cross there there for me c-r-o-s-s crawl okay you was calling in
In reference to?
Yeah, I'm in one of the apartments.
Okay.
I just sleep on the couch.
I give the money to my roommate, and I sleep on the couch, so I'm not on the lease.
I'm subleasing, you know?
Uh-huh.
Yeah, so I need you guys to come over here and fix the toilet.
Okay, and what's your apartment number?
Three.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Three what else?
Three.
Hold one moment, sir.
Yeah.
I got a pail box.
i haven't gotten any mail yet so i don't know god damn it we wait in a long time motherfucker
shit yeah yeah we're here waiting sorry for the silence i should have been talking it up
i was busy paying attention to the chat room which you should be too motherfucker madhouse
live.com chat room do do do pay the price motherfucker pay the price hmm yeah coughing
Coughing a little bit today.
A little worried about that, you know.
Now, you guys heard how I was, though.
The last two shows that I did at the beginning of the month, I think, right?
Middle of the month.
They're not even released.
Tabaji said he edited out 30 minutes of me coughing from the most recent episode to today,
which hasn't been uploaded to the podcast yet because I have to go through it.
I've pretty much been sick for two weeks.
Longer than that, but I went to the hospital two weeks ago.
It all has to do with that coughing.
Anyway, well, I'm just going to hang up and call back.
She'll be on permahole calling it back.
Green Meadow Apartments and Townhomes,
where we offer one-, two-, and three-bedroom apartment homes
in our beautiful community.
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please press 1 to leave us a detailed message,
and we will return your call promptly.
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Hey, I was talking to Big Daddy, and she put me on hold for a long time.
My name is Cross, and I'm angry, so I want to get answers.
This is going to a manager.
I am making a formal report against you.
I don't want to get that Nancy chicken trouble.
i feel bad i was gonna say some incriminating stuff about nancy then i thought you know
why don't they fire her over some lies that was very bad bad bad this bad i'm on the mixler
myself for the first time the madhouse live mixler i want to start promoting that a little better
right now only brad and i use it the plan was we were going to use it for people to try out
to join the madhouse uh shoutcasts the main one and the phone losers one also i guess as well
what's like for example right now i think yeah i think a solid third of my listeners no it's a
quarter the most i get definitely is from uh blue planet right now 69 haha 69 listeners on blue
Blue Planet 40 on the Madhouse shoutcast, and 18 on the PLA.
Yeah, 130 total.
Just to give you a lot of you wonder how many people pay attention.
But this is a morning show that nobody was expecting, and I just turned it on, basically.
So it's lower than it normally would be for a big Thursday night, weekend night.
Brent definitely gets more numbers than that
And
Jaiad and the Phil Larkin show
Get bigger numbers than that
I know because I watch
But they're not on Blue Planet
Blue Planet's really cool
I got that because I'm good friends with Big Ted
He offered it to me
He doesn't just want to give it out to anyone
But he does for me and it's awesome
That's why Ted's really cool
Because he has a lot of people
That tune in on his network
On Blue Planet all the time
It blows me and Brad both combined out of the water every day in terms of ratings for prank call stations on Shoutcast.
And it's because he's got a really good mix.
You know, whenever I'm in the mood to listen to prank calls, just straight up prank calls from anybody, I tune into Blue Planet on my iPad.
And you can hear fucking anybody and everybody.
He's got some really obscure ones, some old stuff.
stuff legends of prank calls over a blue planet that's a big plug there for blue planet blah blah
blah let me do more pranks i think i've only done like three so far we'll call lube place here lube
machine just a moment pulling it up i got a bad feeling because i've been taking so many pauses
that the music is so loud also i think we're gonna get flagged by youtube for third party which is
fucking just pisses me off i just i don't like the free free music man i don't have money to
get licensed most open source you know whatever free the whole dynamic of the show would change
i started out with just playing anything and i can't just go away from it it just sucks that
there there's no reasonable way for podcasters to use you know music from major labels you know
There's no reasonable or easy way, as far as I can tell.
That would make sense.
That would be really cool.
But hey, whatever.
I'm not the MPA.
I don't make those decisions.
Something fair.
Something fair.
Can't you pay snow cap?
But would this work?
I guess you could pay snow cap fees, right?
But they're expensive.
I know there's some shoutcast stations out there that get around it.
They legalize it by you.
They add more to what you pay monthly, and it covers it.
I know it exists for shoutcasting, but not for just a straight-up Joe Bloat podcaster making an RSS feed.
You're left with having to go for that royalty-free stuff, and it's just kind of hokey, man.
You guys don't want to hear that in the Madhouse Show.
You want to hear RJD, too.
because i know a lot i know a lot of people have gone out and gotten mf doom stuff after they've
heard it on the show a whole bunch of people and i've i used i not i don't play mf doom as much
now but i used to play him a lot all right this town anywhere that i'm trying to prank it's kind
of blah they're kind of gonna do a lot of them aren't answering here's the new life church of
god machine let's give them a call this is rjd2's new album it's called more is than isn't it came
It came out, I want to say, about a month ago.
I finally checked it out about two weeks ago.
It's pretty good.
Good stuff.
All right, here's the church, as I said.
Calling the church.
New life, this is Dallas.
How can I help you?
Well, good morning.
How are you?
Good.
God bless you.
God bless you.
Thank you.
God bless.
And God bless the church.
God bless the pastor.
God bless my mom and my dad, right?
Amen.
Amen.
Right?
And God bless this president of ours.
Yes.
And God bless the congressmen.
Yes.
And God bless the senators, all the men and women.
You know, God bless the police and God bless the soldiers.
Are you there?
Yes.
Uh-huh.
And God bless the world, you know.
Yes.
And all the people and all everywhere in the world, all of God's children.
God bless.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah. God bless the air that we breathe and God bless the water we drink. God bless the bread we
eat. Amen. Amen. Okay. I just wanted to say those things. All righty. I wanted to say those things
to you. Amen. Oh, yeah. God bless you. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
yeah oh hello hello hello yes yes this is the white devil and i was listening
to that call you have some kind of problem hello yes this is the white devil okay you playing games
i am the white devil and i was listening to that call and do you have some problem
white devil standing up defending himself he laid a trap he had someone act like he was god bless
everything and then the devil comes and it's like hey you got so called hey you got so called the
problem god bless everything no satan bless she got scared she got scared of the white devil
let's leave her alone because she was creeped out from the beginning holy shit mother fuck you heard
murder she was creeped out from the beginning she was scared that woman jesus she found the
whole thing i was thinking like i better be careful because she sounds like i'm molesting
her or something like i thought it was like i was standing there grabbing her boob against her will
god creep me out i feel dirty i feel dirty now i have feelings now here's a chicken place
place motherfucker a fast food medium major chicken place starts with an x
excuse me
how much is the five do you have do they come in pieces i understand what you're saying your
meal machine meal machine yeah chicken chicken chicken spaces our chicken specials yeah
there well hold on one moment hello thanks guys who this who is this this is my name is
and what do you need yeah i was calling to find out the chicken the meal machine
how many chicken spaces are they coming in three four five the meal who the machines
machines meal we don't have any machines meal machine the chicken machine specials that you
have you want to know how much the specials that we have the chicken machine special yeah how many
spaces we have a fan special we don't have a chicken machine special they come with four
chicken tenders fries toast um a zach sauce and a lower strength oh wow man four spaces
uh-huh wow and that's one machine four spaces uh-huh okay so how much how many is how much
is that chicken machine $6.99 $6.99 so two will be like $13.00 it's only $5.99 then how much is
it $5.99 $5.99 uh-huh so it'll be like $12.00 motherfucker you the motherfucker
What the hell's wrong with you?
You, Hacker Chief Head.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
You the motherfucker.
That old lady ain't taking shit.
No, they're not answering.
I was going to call her an Aunt Jemima,
Hacker Chief Head sellout for working there.
She's not answering.
You the motherfucker.
Thank you, Colin.
Thanks for being so good, bro.
I'm going to hit you.
Hey, you tell that Aunt Jemima handkerchief head Uncle Tom sellout woman over there that hung up the phone on me
that she's a sellout for working there for the man, and you are too, motherfucker.
I don't know what's going on.
Okay.
Continuing on, let's have a look here.
Here's a Honda motherfucker place.
Or no, Hyundai.
Here we go.
Little down, little down, lower class car from Honda to Hyundai.
It's Hyundai.
Hyundai, are they Japanese or are they Korean?
Zaxby's, the chicken place, the spaces are in the background
as I make a call to the car dealership motherfucker.
Hyundai.
Hey.
We're calling from the Zaxby's down the street.
Do you know where we're at?
We're calling from Zaxby's Chicken down the street.
You know us?
I know where you are.
Yeah.
We're calling from the Zaxby's Chicken, motherfucker.
Okay.
All right, you guys want some, we got a four-piece special that's usually $5.99,
and we can bring in some for the staff there for a few of you guys just for free
as a neighborly special, a little bit of trail of that shit, motherfucker.
No, thank you.
All right, I'll bring you 10, but one of them will take it.
Well, you need to stop playing on the phone and lying, sir.
I don't know who you is, but we got a call idea, and I'm going to put the police right on you.
oh all right they're both gone now so the chicken place came back as i implicated them and giving
away 10 free of those 599 meals they kept trying to push on me motherfucker continuing on with the
show i gotta calm down man i gotta keep my heart rate down i gotta be careful sucks chat room is
down for maintenance they said chat room maintenance from 8 to 11 when i came in the
the chat around 9 30 saw was up figured okay they they finished it early and it looks like they
started it late so we are chat roomless here and that's not good because it's the premiere episode
of uh global chaos radio or dialer show i don't know what it's going to be exactly but he's going
to be doing a daily or mostly daily noon show noon eastern 9 a.m pacific from big dialer i'm sure
It's going to include Badass Bobby and that Foxitin Fox, Stuck Up China Man, China Boy.
It's going to have him also.
But anyway, I'll update everyone on the air once I see the chat room is back so y'all can make sure you get in at that point.
I'm monitoring the situation.
As soon as it comes up, I will make an announcement, and then you all know that the chat room has come back.
in the meantime everyone can just chill out and listen or watch the video you can also
kind of chat a little bit in the mixler account the madhouse live mixler if you want to chat a
little bit go ahead do that there until the main one comes back or leave a youtube comment start a
youtube flaming war motherfucker move right along here's a chick fil a motherfucker right around the
way from that zaxby's bullshit zaxby's is just chicken tenders i've never been but i've seen a
few of them my mom liked them and then she died of a heart attack but she never liked chick-fil-a
you know and chick-fil-a is anti-gay motherfucker chick-fil-a everybody running low on my drink
gonna have to get some more orange drink from the fridge motherfucker so i'm gonna have to play a
prank call here after this hey boy how you doing i'm doing good how you doing sir i was calling i
I was trying to get with the Zaxby's down the street.
You know, those motherfuckers fucking hung up the fucking phone on me and shit.
You know the Zaxby's down the road next to that stupid church?
Those motherfuckers hung up the fucking phone on me and fucking shit.
I'm sorry about that.
What is it I can do for you, sir?
All right, what kind of chicken machines you got?
What's the name of the chicken machine we have, sir?
Yeah, what's the chicken machine?
Yeah, what's the name?
It's a Henny Penny machine.
A Henny Penny machine?
And how much is...
We don't sell the machine, sir.
Can I use it, the machine?
I want to fry some pork and then some beef.
No, sir.
I'm sorry.
I'm Puerto Rican.
I fry everything, asshole, motherfucker.
I'm sorry, sir.
I can't allow you to use the machine, no, sir.
All right, can I get some of that oil, motherfucker, after it's done?
No, sir, I'm not allowed to do that, sir.
Do you have chicken drippings and scrapings that you throw away and all that?
No, sir.
Oh, yeah, you do?
Come on.
No, sir, I'm sorry.
Honestly, I don't.
Oh, wow, that's nice.
Do you wear glasses?
You sound ethnic.
I sound what, sir?
You sound ethnic.
Do you wear glasses?
No, sir.
Oh, that's good.
You got nice hair, nice straight hair on you, boy, or what you got?
I was going to start trying to size him up like at a slave auction.
That'd be really creepy.
creepy. I was getting ready to tell him I wanted to check his gums. Oh, shit. I am bad. That is
bad to say, guys. Then I'm going to check his gums. Jesus Christ. That was an idea that came
from Dialer just now. And Dialer, no. No, Dialer. That's bad. I don't know why you told me to do
that. Here's a Home Depot, motherfucker. I just like tonight, you know, I'm calling a city in
the south so i just say a motherfucker this motherfucker that like a redneck would but i'm
obviously not a redneck for my voice intonation thank you for calling them
just come across as a dumbass for store hours and directions press one if you know the three
digit extension of the person you are trying to reach press two thank you for calling the
home depot your call is very important to us thanks mama get me on depot
Hey, Big Brenda, how are you?
Hello?
Yeah, is that Big Brenda?
What am I doing?
I said I was going to get a drink.
That's what I said I was going to do.
Thank you for calling the Montgomery Home Depot.
Thank you for calling the Home Depot.
Hi.
Thank you.
Is that Brenda?
Is that Big Broody Brenda?
Jose Bravo asking, what's the percent of a show tonight?
Jose, that's probably going to be zero.
zero you're getting what you're getting now motherfucker i don't think jose knows there's
a show going on now so i'll put show on now jose's uh stupid anyway isn't he i think i think the chat
room came back up motherfucker let's take a look here oh yeah it did so i gotta change i gotta
change main monitors here myself and that always makes the stream jump so look let me play a prank
call it might chop up a little bit because the stream's gonna get a little flaky while i switch
which from monitors back and forth all right if not i'll have to call him during the day he's
probably a sleeping sleeping cat right now sleeping away water isn't coming motherfuckers
well let's continue with some prank calls hang on the stream's gonna jump there we go should be
just about done jumping now all right sticks and stuff where they sell sticks and stuff here we go
again in about 15 minutes at the top of the hour big dialer machine will be coming on madhouse live
with a show a global chaos show would appear he's going to be making regular shows during the week
around this time at noon easter and we're excited about that if you haven't noticed um i already
kind of set it up around 11 30 it should be like a block of global chaos radio stuff on the stream
stream automatically and i told him going in and said i'm going to create this block on the
shoutcast rotation that just plays your stuff you know between 11 12 and 1 o'clock for the most part
and that's to give him a build up a little bit of a you know a lead seems to be working out because
no one's complaining no one's going to miss it there's too much you know dialer stuff in the
morning no one's complaining and people would trust me they would okay what did i say sticks
Sticks and stuff.
Sticks and shit.
I'm taking my return of the airwaves slow.
Thanks for being patient.
I'm not really doing a lot of pranks.
I'm just getting back in the flow of things.
For those of you who didn't know, I did have surgery on my heart, kind of, sort of.
That was not milkman.
Sticks and shit.
Can I help you?
Is this sticks and shit?
Hello?
Sticks and shit.
Yeah.
Do you guys have those skewers, those bamboo skewers?
No.
The big ones?
We're a furniture store.
or we're not what you said, okay?
You got the big, we're not what you're saying.
Get over it already, motherfucker.
Get over it.
I said S-H-I-T.
Okay, big deal.
Let me tell them that.
There's a request to pray.
Can I help you?
Listen, get over that already.
I made a mistake.
I said the bad word.
I made a mistake, okay?
I mean, you can be, you know, a health, are you Christian?
God bless you.
If you're looking for barbecue skewers, I don't, I mean,
I mean, we're a furniture store.
I want the big ones you can put up a pig's ass and mouth, you know,
to put it around the fire pit.
Have a good day.
That's where it goes, though.
It goes in the ass.
I'm not kidding.
I've seen it done.
It goes in the ass machine.
God damn it.
Anyway, moving right along, here is more of that song.
I look for another number to call.
Ming's Garden Chinese.
Let's try them.
Here we go.
Yeah, this does Chinese people.
What now?
This is the damn Chinese people food.
This is a Chinese restaurant, yes.
Yeah, let me make one of them orders, boy.
Huh?
I want to make one of them orders, boy.
Order what?
Order of food, boy.
I want to make an order of food.
I'm not a boy.
All right, whatever.
I'm a man, man.
Okay, that's nice, honey.
Can you take my order?
Yeah, sure.
What can I get you?
All right, one number 12.
Number 12, fish marinated beef?
Yep.
Go ahead.
Can you make that spicy?
You want extra spicy?
Yes, please.
More peppers and shit.
What now?
More peppers and shit on it.
Just a lot of fucking peppers on it.
Hey, it's in the fucking morning, okay?
Do not cut this like this.
I'm sorry.
I'm just hungry.
I'm really hungry.
Watch your language, man.
My sugar is low and I'm diabetic.
I'm sorry.
Watch your language, okay?
Okay.
God damn it.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
What else are you going to have?
One.
Did you have a pint of pork fried rice?
No, it was just a regular lunch order.
Okay.
All right.
So what about the number five then?
Number five.
What is number five?
They told me number five.
I don't know what it is.
I have a paper with numbers on it.
Number five.
I'm ordering for the office and shit.
These people are so rude to me.
God damn it.
The people here are so mean to me.
Where do you work?
They threw the money at me.
I work at the lube, the car lube place down the street.
Down the street where?
Oh, God.
What's this road?
Down the street, down eastern, past the Starbucks.
There's a car lube place here.
And they're so mean and nasty to me.
You know what?
I can't take this order.
You need to come in and order.
Well, you're not taking the order.
What's the matter?
God damn it.
I don't know.
You keep cuffing, and I don't know if this is going to be the right order or not.
Come on, give me this fucking shit.
I'll give you the fucking shit.
Shit, give me the fucking order.
Fucking shit.
Nope.
Okay, fine.
Went into a fucking shit thing.
He, from the beginning, he did not want to take order, you know?
From the beginning, he did not want to take order.
You got me up here?
Yeah, listen, come on.
From the beginning, you didn't want to take order.
Why?
No, no, no.
Because you say you keep cussing.
I can't take this kind of orders.
It's because they abuse me.
All right, you need to come in order.
Do you know where we are?
You come in order, all right?
They abuse me, you know?
Who?
The workers here abused me.
The workers abused you.
They called someone else.
Don't call me.
They called me bad words, and they throw the money at me.
Your workers abused you.
Call whatever.
Call government or something.
Don't call me.
Yeah, they throw the money at me, and they say, go order this.
Yeah, call someone else.
Go order this.
Call police.
Call 911.
They say, hey, don't call here.
This is the wrong place.
They said, order from this stupid motherfucking shit, they said.
Hey, you need to come in and order.
Keep cutting like that, all right?
Well, this place is your piece of shit, and your place is a shit.
it's a big fucking toilet restaurant it smells like the bathroom smell like toilet and shit
all right the bathroom smell like toilet and shit yes i just said that indeed gentlemen jose giving
a shout out to everyone in irc i believe he's at work great okay moving right along we got the
extended stay i don't know if they have a pool you think they have a pool the extended stay would
would have a pool right because you're there an extended amount of time yeah i want to prank about
a pool at a hotel but not all hotels have pools sometimes the extended stay may not have one so
this might be so i would i would expect they do fuck it let's try it let's call i'm going with
that they do this is in the south i probably got at least an indoor some some hotels got those
indoor pools and those are really cool i like indoor pools you can go any time of year they
We keep it at a good temperature.
Typically with those indoor pools, when you get out of the pool, you're not so cold.
I noticed that.
There's not a breeze of any kind, except for when you're walking.
That's very nice.
It's that breeze that'll get you.
We've got about another five minutes or less, in theory, before Dialer takes over.
Dialer, if you could let me know directly in chat or on Skype when you do that, please.
or hold for assistance dialer if you didn't hear that if you can send me a skype hit me up on skype
let me know thank you oh thank you for calling extended stay of america montgomery symbol boy
this is tiffany are you sick big tiffany no i'm not i heard you coughing over there you smoking
a spliff or something uh no how can i help you smoking yeah smoking a bone yeah and speaking of
which uh you guys have a pool right you know the pool no we don't do you know a place that has a
a pool motherfucking shit i need a place with a fucking pool can you talk to me better than it
i'm sorry god bless you i'm sorry god bless you our other property has a pool what's what's the
fucking number there what are they should have been nice i should have said fucking fucking
after she gave me the phone number motherfucker damn it their other property i have no idea what
their other property is i think i saw it i don't know well it'll be a mystery who knows
those maybe the quality end their quality right their quality quality insert man you know i stayed
in a few quality ends for a few hours i've done that before that's my experience quality ads i
don't think i've ever stayed at a quality end overnight but there sure was one i had up after
work maybe not since i've been married jesus christ no you got a goddamn pool boy you got a
a pool god damn it pool pool oh we do not have a pool sorry it's an outdoor pool and it's closed
already for the season it's out well i've been going in that i've been going in the pool sorry
at night i go in the pool at night yeah i take the cover off and i put it back on no huh listen
i i use your pool every night just about i'm not a guest there but i come every night and i use the
pool like late at night like a two three in the morning uh-huh yeah that's what i do i use the
the pool two or three in the morning okay and well my wallet didn't i left and i didn't have
my wallet in my shorts so i think they're inside the pool okay can you guys take a look and see if
my wallet's there in the water it should be probably at the bottom because it's heavy yeah
so if i think uh you have to come in here or to look you know because you know one took the cover
off and went to the went to the pool you know yeah but i'm afraid that i'm gonna get in trouble
with you for um using the pool after hours and not being a guest i've been doing it for
about two months and you put that cover on but i just take it off and i put it back on
i go i masturbate in the pool i urinate inside it okay and i clean myself with soap inside the pool
yeah yeah that's great that sounds good you know yeah i um i drink beer also one time
like two times i had a beer you know and i was like in the yeah and i know you have the rule
says no glass bottles right hotel i guess you know no he says no glass bottles you reach the
wrong hotel god damn it listen this is the right this is the right hotel thank you and god bless
listen yeah god right yeah god bless you i'll punch you in the face god bless you i'm sorry i
I didn't mean that
That's against the rules
I'm not supposed to say that
Okay, I'm putting your call
No, no, no
Okay, please
I'm gonna
I got your number
So I can just
Give it to the police
You know right now
I have your sister
Motherfucker bitch
Motherfucker bitch
Hey
Motherfucker bitch
Let's try Milkman
One last time here
Before a dialer has to go on
Where's my cell phone
Oh, here it is
Wanted to give a birthday
Congratulations to him
milkman came out of his mom's vaginal opening 52 years ago today he came out and then he was
attached still uh so they had to break the what is it called that little cord umbilical cord
they broke the umbilical cord and then milkman's dad held him and he said he looks so asian
Milkman's mom is Japanese, and dad is American.
Hello?
Hello?
Oh, that's not him.
He tricked me again with his voicemail, the little fucking shit.
I'm showing that we're still connected here.
It's 12.01.
We're waiting for Dialer to pick up and start taking over your streams.
It says GCR Radio.
Starting up here pretty soon.
I don't see any activity from him.
Oh, here he is.
He has just joined IRC, so there shouldn't be any moment now I'll refrain from doing
any more prank calls in order for him.
He's just going to kick me right off and go.
Real quick, I want to mention that we have shows basically just about every night now.
If they're not on the Madhouse shoutcast, then they are on somebody's Mixler account.
And be sure that you're logging in on Mixler and following the Madhouse Live Mixler account.
There's going to be a redesign of the Madhouse site.
It's going to focus more on Madhouse Beacon Network and less of its own radio show.
So I think that I've got to do my part to help promote all the different people doing shows on here.
And I think we can start getting a little bit more growth also.
We're starting to grow. Madhouse is starting to grow.
It's definitely much bigger than it was last year and the year before that.
God, the year before that is when I got really sick and there wasn't anything Madhouse.
Madhouse was dead for like six months.
blah blah blah huh okay waiting on dialer kick yeah lux kick carlito already i'm uh rambling here
waiting waiting for you go dialer go all right i'll just play music and uh dollar should be
taken over here in a moment good uh good day everybody happy halloween
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