You Got The Juice

We're concerned because the water's very dirty.

No, it's clear.

I'm not playing no fucking games, man.

I, I fucked you, son of a bitch.

Stop making a stupid comment.

You're out of your crazy mind.

You ain't getting no goddamn dollars.

I'll fuck you all night long.

You're not perfect.

Why don't you piss off?

You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast.

Sin, tried, and true.

98.6.

No.

Hi, Wolfman.

Just in time.

Yay.

Wolfman.

What's up, man?

What the hell's going on there?

Hey, stupid motherfucker, how are you?

What's up?

Man, you sound like you're getting back to business, brother.

What's up here?

Oh, yeah, man.

I feel good, man.

I feel great.

God.

I have to take this shit.

It's always a nice feeling, man.

It's always good to, you know, evacuate occasionally.

I got the juice.

I got the juice now, yo.

There you go.

That's some good stuff, man.

That is good stuff.

I'm glad you let me try that.

That stuff really works, man.

I had a dream, man.

I was chasing Tupac Shakur, and we got to the top of a building, and he was going to

fall over, and I felt bad, and I went to save him from falling off the top of the building,

and he was hanging on to me, but he couldn't hang on, and he fell down, and he died.

He fell on the street, and then this guy came up to me and said, wow, Carlito, damn, man,

you got the juice now, man.

I was like, wow, I got the juice, and then I woke up.

And then I had, like, 30 minutes to set up for the show.

So that literally just happened 30 minutes ago.

It was awesome.

Tupac, man.

Damn, you got the juice now, man.

That's what he told me.

He said, damn, Carlito, damn, you got the juice now, bro.

Like, that's what he said.

Whatever that means.

We need a dream interpretation.

You got the rag tight on your head, too, man.

And you're shaving on the front half of your head.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

All right, baby.

I like it.

hey man there you go if you want to see if you want to see the reincarnation you gotta get over

there to madhouse man live.com it's on the video feed right now there's here i'm gonna check him

out brother look at my beard my november beard that i'm growing for look at that

prostate cancer milkman do you have facial hair you don't you don't have facial hair do you

you got like a wispy Asian mustache oh man i shave my cho-cha as often as i can

And, man, I like my cho-chow rather better, you know.

The only facial hair that looks good on Asians, not to sound ignorant,

but I think it's just the Fu Manchu is the only facial hair look that looks good on Asians.

So other than that, it's always too thin.

You know what I mean?

It looks like a 10-year-old Puerto Rican.

Asians don't grow good facial hair.

Oh, man, that's terrible.

I'm not trying to be terrible.

I'm just saying Asians don't grow good facial hair unless you're, like, super old Chinese.

ah 10 year old puerto rican man that's that's terrible bro they got uh they got mustaches when

they're 10 i did i didn't i didn't get that gene i was so my little boy he didn't yeah i have a

cousin and he's like dude he was still in middle school and he fucking had a a fucking mustache

dude what the fuck he was in the seventh grade eighth grade he already had fucking

and a mustache and there was this one cat there was this one cat robert premer he was fucking

tall as fuck he looked like a fucking uh like a fucking viking or something and he was in the

sixth grade and he already had a period going yeah funny as shit milkman thank you sixth grade

well let's see my boy let's see when i was there in in saint croix he was what 10 he learned about

12 well hell hell he didn't have no mustache did he i don't think he even got fuzz on himself

until probably like close to 12

because hell, you'd run around the beach naked and stuff.

You know how kids are, man.

You know, fucking run around naked and shit.

You know, no problem, man.

Their little penises flop.

I don't know.

That's why I was laughing when you said

it would recontinue on mustache, dude.

That's about like a bare lip.

Running around with their little penises flopping.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Like in that movie, the book.

Oh, you know how kids are, dude.

You've never been to the islands?

I don't care.

You've never been to the islands

where there's nobody else on the fucking beach

and and you just like these little kids they're fucking laughing they throw their drawers off

take off running i just sat there and laughed lord of the flies milkman the movie adaptation

no it's so bad down i have nobody around my uncle came down as well and he got his girlfriend and

they were down there parading around with no clothes on because the beach was so empty man

i haven't been to the islands uh to see little children little boys all right milkman i've never

ever done that trip take it well okay apparently you never have raised any children in your life

but i have so anyway my boy anyway he was running around as a 10 year old and he certainly didn't

have a mustache i don't know man you got us using growth hormones or some shit over there i don't

know the milk i don't know you're the milkman stupid i don't know dude he was drinking playing

milk but like i said he's just a little kid so he was you know i don't know well anyway don't shave

if you're a 10-year-old Puerto Rican kid.

That's my advice.

There's a four-family yard sale in and outside

going on this weekend.

Let's give them a call.

It starts tomorrow. Let's give them a call

and see if they got some good shit, Milkman.

Tell them to get a microwave

ready.

Quiet, quiet, quiet.

Shut up.

You're having a yard sale there?

Yes.

Are you going to have some good stuff?

What are you going to have?

Do I have any what?

Uh, are you have, do you have any animals there?

Like pets?

No.

Do you have pets or are you not selling any?

I have a dog, but I'm not selling him.

Oh, that's good.

Good.

Yeah.

You don't want to do that.

Um, so what do you got?

Any, you got clothes?

You got any good stuff?

You got any electronics?

I have, we have clothing.

Um, I have an uncle that's bringing some things.

I'm not sure what he's bringing.

I mean, I have a washing machine for sale, have a twin mattress set.

Is this a foreclosure yard sale?

No.

Oh, you're not foreclosing your house because you're selling all the appliances.

That's usually what that means.

No, we're not selling all the appliances, no.

Oh, okay.

You're going to keep the dryer also?

We've already sold the dryer.

Oh, man.

All right.

Is it a gas washing machine or an electric?

No, it's electric.

Okay.

All right.

That's good.

It plugs right into the wall.

Three-phase power goes in the wall.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

All right.

And clothing, and that's it.

So washer and dryer.

Did you ride the washing machine ever?

I'm sorry, did I what?

Did you ever ride it?

Did I ever ride it?

Yeah.

Well, if I did, I probably wouldn't want to share that with you.

Oh, okay.

Because I know like older women, they like to do that.

Sometimes the menopause thing, it helps out.

Really?

Yeah, and it helps out with cramps if you're not that old.

Are you postmenopausal or you still haven't gone through that yet?

Why would that be any of your business?

Well, it's because I need to know what's been in this washing machine, you know?

Really?

Of course.

Well, if that is your concern, you probably don't want to buy it.

I'll give you, you know, money.

And you're not going to know it's me when I come tomorrow.

Oh, really?

Or I might look at you and ask you about riding the washing machine and wink at you, you know.

And I go, do you know what?

If you give me money for it, I really don't care.

Will you ride?

What if I give you money?

And you can just wonder what's been washed in it.

Who knows?

How many times have you?

Maybe we had an orgy on the bedroom sheet and washed those in it.

Okay?

That's awesome.

And you can guess how many people were there.

Oh, delicious.

Yeah.

Can I get in?

Do you have another washer already?

I'm guessing.

That's not any of your business either.

Well, because you can bypass the hose that drains it and maybe collect that for me and some tubs.

And I'll buy your dirty water, you know?

You think you want my dirty underwear?

Because I'll sell you that.

Put dirty underwear in the washer, but don't put any soap in it.

They just run it with water and then smell it.

Yeah, so you can smell it and lick it if you want to, okay?

I'll drink it.

I'll drink it at the gym while I watch girls.

And I'll drink it at the gym.

Yeah.

You can even have my dirty maxi pads, okay?

All right.

Ooh, doesn't that turn you on?

Yeah.

The nice trash bag full of them.

Yeah.

I'll save them for you.

All right, cool.

I use tampons, all that good stuff.

All right, I'll come in tomorrow.

I'll be there in the morning.

What time are you opening up?

I do.

8 o'clock sharp.

Okay.

I'll be there right...

You can, baby.

Okay?

You can.

Well, I'm going to go to the diner first and get, like, some French toast, and I'll come

in a little later in the morning.

Oh, no.

You be there first thing, okay?

I want you to be our first customer.

Okay.

All right.

Okay?

All right.

Yeah.

All right.

Great.

See you soon.

Bye, honey.

I love you.

All right.

She was taking that well, Malkman.

I don't know.

I kept waiting for her to tell me she was going to shoot me in the dick.

Bye, Maxie.

See you, Minnie.

Cheesy.

She sounded like the girl that said she was going to shoot Jin in the dick.

She sounded just like her.

She sounded like one of them when they kicked your ass, dude.

I know some of them corn-fed girls from back east, man.

I know some of them country girls.

They will kick your ass.

She sounded like one of them, dude, boy.

You better be careful.

yeah that'll be great yeah she'll stitch your fucking dick here like two boys so don't fall

asleep in front of them shit damn it all right so you ever wake up with your dick stitched to

your leg no stitch to your leg i've had it stapled i haven't eaten there nope i've had my

ball stapled i haven't either but i know somebody that did man and they weren't pleased and it was

at the end at the ends of pissing off one of these crazies like you just heard on the phone

about five minutes ago so kids beware you've been warned by the madhouse well was he drunk or

something no fan how did that how he was running his fuck he was running his dick licker and you

know pissed her off and and yeah and got her all pissed off next thing you know shit was

stitched to his leg man you know oh i'm just thinking how do you move through that i don't

know how do you all i know is it wasn't it was painful what does she stitch it with with needle

and thread or what hello i don't know dude hey what's going on you have a television machine

who is this this is eddie i see that you have a television machine i think you got the wrong

phone number then you have something for sale a television machine oh a tv yeah tell a tv machine

oh you know what no we actually had not to sell it i'm sorry buddy god damn it fuck fuck you shit

Hey, do you have a washing machine, maybe?

No.

Oh, well, I was looking at...

Not for Dale.

Oh, do you have...

Well, Rachel put this on, right?

Rachel put it up?

Yeah, hold on one second.

All right.

I can sound like Tuck.

Hello?

Hey, big Rachel, how are you?

I'm good, how are you?

Who is this?

Oh, that's good.

This is Eddie, and I was seeing that you had a television machine, TV machine for sale.

Eddie who?

Eddie Cross.

Do I know you?

Well, you have posted a TV machine.

for sale yeah my boyfriend he talked me out of not selling it because i don't like it and he

loves it how many times have you ridden it um it's on several sites and i took it off of the

ones i found it on i've already taken it off all right shut up about that do you ride your

washing machine ever i'm sorry what do you have you ever ridden your washing machine

you're no i did a couple months ago i was giving away a washing machine but that's been

oh did you write it six months ago did you write it before you got on it before you got rid of it

did you write it did i write it yeah what do you mean right like you you kind of sit down on top

of it with your legs kind of spread a little bit listen hey hey hey hey yeah i'm gonna call the

cops right now and give you why why why i called about the tv don't be an asshole why you're

talking about riding my washing machine i'm just making conversation you're sexually harassing me

No, I'm just making conversation.

No, that is sexual harassment.

You don't ask me something like that.

That's a gray area.

I was just curious before you sold the washing machine if, you know, you wrote it.

Okay.

Well, man, that's sexual harassment.

Shit.

All right.

Just wanted to know if she tested out our gift in this book.

That's all, aren't they?

I said, yeah.

I love that question.

Have you ever ridden it?

That's fucking horrible.

All right.

Someone's got a spare tire rack off a GMC Jimmy machine.

Let's give them a call.

Keeping a lookout for Mr. Lonesome Loser.

Not sure if he'll show up tonight.

Man, Milkman, I was talking about Lonesome Loser.

I'm hoping he shows up tonight.

all right i was saying that he's not there oh he launched them they're losers and everybody holds

your fist high man because that's our brother they're putting your ear at the moment he will

show up as soon as he's available i put my face right lonesome losers lady i put my fist right

in lonesome losers face if he was here right now and his big in his face i'd wave it in his face

so they smell it smell it i'm like you want this lonesome smell it smell my fist

okay and we also have is that thing called back is that what you just called back is that maxi

could you call her back no i don't want to call her back no she's gonna call the police um

yeah i have requested pranks also that i can look at that i've been calling you gotta call her back

I can't say it, dude, because she was a beast.

Good, good.

She was ready to cooperate.

Whatever you say.

November 5th.

She was ready to cooperate, dude.

She was on the stage.

Dude, that's dedication.

We got a request to prank here to call a Sandra and trick her about free stuff.

That's not much to go with.

Trick her about free stuff.

Okay.

Trick her about free stuff.

Tell her we can get a free case here if you'd like, honey.

A free ride, I'll tell her, a free ride, okay?

There you go, a free ride on the spin cycle, that's right on.

Unbalanced load, too, baby.

Unbalanced load.

Yeah, that's what she said.

What the fuck?

Milkman, there's an audio clip I made of you making a really weird noise, dude.

It's really funny.

Was I making noise?

You were going like, ooh, something like that.

I'll shake my fist in her face.

We'll try a sandwich.

Steak fest, baby.

Now, what is a clip?

What did you make me say, man?

You were going, ooh, like that at the beginning of the show.

I don't know why.

You were just making noise.

Oh, okay, yeah.

That's why I'm making noises.

Yeah, I know.

I guess some of them are bound to get recorded.

Add them to my collection.

There's a big collection.

It was good.

Anybody would bother to go to the record.

There's some amazing noises

I do really make

A good person if I actually share them

With people on the show occasionally

I don't think that broad's going to answer milkman

So I'm just going to move on okay buddy

Maxie we're going to call you later honey

We'll see how dedicated you are

To the show

You got a box full by then

Then maybe maybe you're worthy

Her dirty underwear

She kept emphasizing dirty underwear

She looks a little weird yeah

Then she started talking about the pads

And the tampons and she was like

I was like, damn, girl.

I was like, wow.

She could get a bonus with this one, right?

She's a collector.

Yeah.

There's a gold and silver pawn that's been sent in, and we're told to ask about Battletoads.

That joke's been done over and over again.

Stupid 4chan joke.

Call and ask about Battletoads.

I just, I don't know.

Do I have to?

No, I'm not going to do that.

I'm sorry.

That is so 16 and 20, man.

I agree, Milkman.

Listening to a little bit of...

That's okay, man.

listening to a little bit of lemongrass from mf doom and the special herbs volume three and four

if anybody's wondering which are probably right sick spicy special milkman have you eaten any

marijuana stuff lately last time you were on you kept talking about you were going to eat a big

marijuana brownie you were excited about it did you eat have you had any edible did that i ate

that that that what was it the fucking double was a fucking double it's some kind of double

devil chocolate devil cake or cookies motherfucker was strong as shit i ate that and then i ate like

uh um the rice krispies then i had a bunch of these like caramels i'd saved up and i had nice

big ass fat ass thing of kush and i had probably about a half gram of wax and that's when i went

and seen bad company dude laxapine laxapine laxapine wax wax wax yes yeah it says it's hash

oil it is uh congealed into a wax form and it turns straight to vapor the burner and it just

goes straight to vapor very nice so you vaporize that very it's smokeless yeah dude it's smokeless

man and nobody bothers you at all dude i mean you can be standing in front of somebody and i was

It's like, but oh boy, oh boy, is it good stuff.

Yeah, when you come over, dude, we'll get you hooked up, man.

I don't want you to do without.

I'm going to do some of that wax.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I saw.

Dude, dab?

You ever heard of dabbing?

Yeah, I saw a documentary.

There's a particular town that it's really big in.

I think it's Colorado.

I think it's Denver.

Oh, it's called Berkeley.

Oh, but I think in Denver, or one of those, or maybe Seattle.

It might have been Seattle.

battle um the dabbing they said you know dabbing is way overtaken just smoking a pot anymore i

think so i don't know i mean it's like better it's like like if you smoke it dude it's like

horrible man compared to dabbing because dabbing is just like you get the actual aroma what you

smell is exactly what you get you know when you light up you know you light up that shit that

what you smell is not what you get when you're you know when you're inhaling it what you're

you're inhaling is you're gonna burn up nasty shit with that nice smell mixed into it but that's not

what you get when you dab you get only the just the chemical component part of it just the active

component you don't burn any plant material which doesn't release any resins or oils which are the

actual bad parts of what you don't want in your smoke okay you don't smoke you don't want combusted

product vaporized uh vaporized um tea that's good but if you start catching shit

hey that's what i'm sorry i'm going to interrupt you but i found it i found it you want to hear

it again hang on listen oh yeah yeah oh hey you're like oh what'd i say after that it had

had to be more after that well oh hey i realized girlfriend i realized that's why you said hey

girlfriend but the funny part was oh okay girlfriend all right okay what the hell were

you thinking no way i wasn't why would you make a voice like that milkman oh oh what the fuck is

that god just imagining you in a fucking peep show or something in some dirty theater

or oh god all right here's the number that came out in britain when i was young back in college

they didn't have you know you had to go to one of them stupid ass things you know because they

didn't have they were just coming out with vhs back in those days back then you still had like

homes and shit oh yeah you but you watch a good classic porn on a reel-to-reel with the big

harry bush wonderful uh all you young people but back in the days i was young you only had

fucking magazines all right retarded retarded retarded asshole sends in a number in the united

kingdom for what is it uh this guy's seeking a slap basis milkman what's a slap basis you just

slap the bass guitar you slap it around like oh slap bass yeah that's what you hit it like with

with your thumb. That's kind of like

what you hear more like the urban beat.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

Like, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

They kind of like rhythmically hit it with their thumb.

Like what's in a porno. It's called slap bass tech.

Like what's in a porno. Kind of like what you hear on

funk. It's not like funk. Kind of like funk

kind of guitar. You know, like funk bass.

But it, you know, real fast

and snappy. That's

what you'd use. You'd use slap bass.

Okay, cool. Sounds good. Well,

he's looking for one of those guys.

And he posted his...

He plays with his thumb.

So, you know, tell him that you've had your thumb

sawed off, but you can use your

pinky. You've got one pinky left.

What I'm telling you is that he's looking

for a slap.

He's looking for the slap basis.

It's fucking 25 cents a minute.

Shove it up your ass, whoever sent that in.

Retarded asshole who sent that in.

It's a cell phone.

What do you think I'm made of?

Shit and gold?

Don't do those until the end of the show, right?

When the funds are whittling anyway.

We got Thomas, who is this guy's uncle.

He's extremely gullible, very funny.

When mad, he'll have fun.

He'll believe almost everything.

Before I forget, it reminded me of something, dude.

While we was away, I don't know if I got to tell you.

I think I texted you while you was away, and I was away there for a couple days, there a couple weeks.

Dude, I had a customer from Manchester in my car, man.

And I started talking to them, and I asked if they had heard about that pub.

You heard about the Bulls Head?

And they said which one?

The Bulls Head?

They are a superstar going to Mooseburg, going to church on Sunday night.

And Sunday morning, they're going to church.

They're going to church on the street.

They're going to church on the real.

What the fuck?

What is he talking about?

What message is that?

What is that?

Something street.

It's like a strip club.

I don't know.

I know.

It is something street.

They are a superstar going to Mooseburg, going to church on Sunday night.

Go to church on Sunday night and morning.

JR the Superstar.

That's what he said.

Stupid asshole.

Asshole leaving asshole message for us to listen to.

Who is JR the Superstar?

Go to the church on Saturday and Sunday.

Press 1 at any time.

To listen to your message, press 2.

Go to church on Sunday night and morning.

JR the Superstar.

to send your message press one at any time to listen to your message send thank you for calling

goodbye that's our quality delete me man

okay

hey how was that was that one of the people that's like all back the number

He's like some kind of club promoter or something.

I don't know.

It sounded like it.

Yo, yo, what's up?

I'll be at the strip club.

All right.

Just time.

Or he just leaves his full schedule on his voicemail.

Every day he updates it.

He goes through his day planner book and just reads it off.

This is today's update, yo.

Tonight I won't be at the club.

Okay.

So he's got audio to tweet, basically, then.

And with that, it amounts to?

I guess so.

So, here's a number from Matt who works at a Mazda dealership.

I don't know if this is the number of the dealership, which means they'll be closed, I would expect.

But let's find out.

I've never been to a dealership that was mostly nude.

I mean, they've always been clothed, as I remember.

Clothed, asshole.

Yeah, clothed.

Enclosed.

Hello?

Hey, boy, how you doing?

I see you got some Mazdas for sale.

Yeah.

All right, good.

Good.

What time do you work?

Because I wanted to get with you.

Cool.

Who is this?

This is Eddie.

Oh, hey, man.

How's it going?

Oh, good.

I want, like, two cars.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

How you been?

We talked a while ago.

I came in and you showed me some car machines, and I said I was going to get back to you.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I remember.

Oh, total.

Yeah, I remember.

I had the...

I just came from golfing and stuff.

How's your golf gang going?

I'm doing pretty good, man.

Yeah, we were talking about golf and everything.

All right.

right so mazdas you got those the current model was you got the 14s yet i do all right

motherfucker all right motherfucker asshole yeah asshole motherfucking shit fucking liar

you're a fucking liar because i ain't never seen you before i never talked to you that was a test

i was gonna come in but i've never been there before but i decided to do an honesty test you'll

You'll do anything for a sale.

If you lied about me having come in before and knowing who I was and remembering me,

you'll lie about the car.

Okay.

You very dishonest Mazda car dealer.

No, actually, I'm not at all.

Yeah, you are.

Because I just gave you an honest account.

No, that's what you threw me off when you said golf.

Yeah.

Because I don't golf.

My name, I said my name is idiot.

Like, oh, yeah, I know you.

I know you.

Oh, yeah, Michael.

I bet you don't even play golf.

Yeah, you monkey.

Well, I don't, but, you know.

You see.

Why would you call somebody and just play games, though?

This is a professional thing.

It was an honesty test.

And I do set people up straight.

But also, I talk to about 50 people a day.

Yeah.

Literally, I talk to about 50 people a day.

But why didn't you tell me that?

Why did you say, oh, yeah, I remember you.

Why didn't you say, well, I talked to about 50 people a day, sir.

It's because of being polite.

No, it's a lie.

But, you know, that's fine.

If you don't want to come see me, that's fine.

Because I don't like people that play games.

And this is pretty ridiculous.

liar liar pants on fire of what liar you haven't even come to see me liar of what you

failed the honesty test because i gave you a little more so you ran somebody referred you

you'll yes and you'll lie to me about the car it'll be a junk no i wouldn't piece there's no

okay well that's your opinion and yeah i'm sorry about that busted i'm sorry no seriously i'm bob

you know i'm bob morton with the new solvers and we're doing a piece on lying dealerships and we

We got you.

So I'm going to come in.

Do you work tomorrow?

I wanted to get you to sign the release.

Hello?

Yep.

Oh, shit.

He was there.

I thought he hung up and I disconnected it.

Milkman, we caught him in a big lie.

Call him right back.

Say, how dare you hang up on us?

Make him fuck for it.

Get him, Bob.

That was funny.

He's like, oh, yeah.

Oh, I know you.

I know you.

Lying sack of shit.

Hey.

Yes.

Anything you want to add?

Why did you hang up?

No, actually, you hung up.

how dare you hang up on me

I've got that on audio

listen I'm going to come by

no actually I didn't hang up

you hung up on me

and this is harassment so I am contacting the police

it's not harassment

I know the rules

I'm going to come by for you to sign the release form

now he's this time

that time he hung up

that was that

that worked out

big time liar

uh that was crispy who sent that in hopefully crispy gets the chance to hear that all right

got him big time that was pretty good all right let's take a look at what big ken has sent in

here god damn it big ken with a prank request they are looking for a roommate seven hundred

or $50, no drugs

or smoking. Milkman, but you can

vaporize, I bet, right? We'll ask

about that. Well, that means

it's true. Vaporizing

and smoking are different. That is true.

And it's in California. 100%.

It's not a drug in California.

So, alright. Well, it doesn't say

it's not a drug, but it's not smoking

because smoking is fucking disgusting, dude.

It stinks. It gets all over everything.

Vapor, dude, you don't even know it's there, man.

It's gone. Like, you can barely

smell the vapor when it's there.

Here, smoke after you're done smoking, you can still smell it, dude.

You can walk in somewhere and, oh, you read.

That shit's bad.

That shit's in the plant.

That's where the carcinogen's tied at, in the combustion of the plant material.

Leave a message and I'll call you back.

Have a great day.

Hey, baby.

Milkman, I got mad because the fucking angry Asiatics had a great call, and it wasn't me that did it.

You know the angry Asiatics, those black Farrakhan guys, the black Muslims we've called a few times?

Yeah.

yeah they they were fucking hilarious um the was it was our numbers still going around

i gave it to ken ken was like hey kid you got i was like yeah sure call him because they never

answer for me you know they haven't answered in over a year like i call and it's a woman a black

a white woman and she's like you ain't talking to nobody and just hangs up and they don't even

even answer for me but they saw a different phone number i guess when uh uh sloth and what's his

face uh jayad were doing a show uh last friday night and they talked to them dude in that normal

fashion with those guys over an hour and it was like it was funny they're they they haven't

changed you know they talk about you know christianity and all this crazy shit they got

got all these black supremacy and all that shit yeah they kept calling the devils and the monkey

kept calling all the white guys monkey he hated i think kenny like well yeah laugh track matt

came on and he was racist racist guy as usual ice goose how's matt doing these days well matt

got banned from the madhouse chat last night apparently because he's being uh they uh he got

got reported that he was uh being extra angry i guess or something and they're saying well

basically i don't have control over the chat room and i can make a recommendation but i'm not the

justice system for the madhouse chat i'm a monarch figure you know what i mean i'm like the queen of

england but you know there's a parliament to answer to basically and i don't have that full

full control so matt is out oh man i like matt fucking who's whining and quit your whining you

guys quit being babies matt's all right fuck why would you ban matt what the hell is he gonna do

it's so horrible he got banned and he was he was out of control milkman he was he was i got a lot

he was that bad yeah i think he was really liquored up and he was being very rude to a lot

lot of people so yeah he needed a time out matt take man go go take and and dry up bro and then

come back man i guess you got a little bit out of hand brother i'm sorry to hear that dry up and

come back later i'm told he will be unbanned on friday i don't know tomorrow it was a temporary

infraction placed upon matt hillock what did he do did he like did he like was he like flooding

or are you just typing mean shit?

I'm being told it's until Sunday.

All right, I'm sorry,

but he's banned through the weekend, guys.

Jeez.

I'm just saying,

maybe not now because he's probably still really pissed off,

but maybe by tomorrow.

Maybe lift that, give him a shot.

I'm just saying.

Why would you guys fuck with Matt?

I'm fucking so wild, okay?

Okay, you got trouble one night, let him fucking come back, man.

You guys don't be big wusses about this shit.

Jeez.

I would request.

I let how many of you guys come back.

Think about it.

I let how many of you guys come back.

So, damn, don't be pushing on everybody like that.

Come on.

I would request.

I would make the strong recommendation to the court that he be unbanned by tomorrow night.

That's it.

But, again, it's out of my hands.

I don't know how that he's that far along and he needs to be banned that for that long.

He's fucked up maybe the night or two

Until he's out of fucking

Out of being fucked up

I'm in the

Moving right along

It's out of my hands

Listen we got more calls to do here

Let's take a look Steve Lonesome

Showed up again

It matters too

AMD saying that he gave Nunu

A master list of UK numbers

that we can call that'd be good to get right now nunu if you do have that because i am amd yeah amd

did yes amd why the hell would you send those things to nunu you should have sent them to me

bro you got my email i mean if you send them to nunu dude you're gonna go to fucking you might

as well send them to kdk first well i pay attention to amd more than i do you during the

show i'll be honest i ignore all your stuff yeah because you're talking to me i'm telling him

Yeah, don't give that shit to Nina, because if you send it to Nina, you might as well go ahead and send it to KDK first.

That's my position on that one.

Right.

Listen, voicemail.

Be quiet.

Listen to voicemail.

Yes, I'm returning your call.

You had called me at 4, and I tried to answer, but for some reason, the phone wasn't allowing me to pick up.

So, try again.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Oh, well, I don't know what she was doing.

Which one was this?

She said, I'm billing.

Oh, that's the apartment one.

The apartment one that we got from

Ken. Okay, good. Well, she

had a stupid phone.

Let's give her a call.

The sexy apartment

chick, says Ken.

I think her battery's finally wore out.

She's answering now.

She uses those D batteries.

We got big ass fucking dildos.

Yeah, there's fucking double.

Big vibrating. It's not a vibrator.

It's a vibrating dildo.

i see that's so fucking nasty sorry sloth uh maybe her phone is still retarded i don't know

let me try her again there's that nasty connection that comes up on skype sometimes

trying again well we'll see if we can catch her calling in because that's not working out

motherfucker okay there's no fans cat being abused um i'm gonna play a prank call real quick

so i can regroup and we'll get that fucking cat i'm gonna go check on the cats to be honest

it's with you oh dobby it was nice to talk i mean he just wants to be with you i'm vaporizing but i

still cough oh man lonesome loser is here he's coughless i just said it's carcinogenless lonesome

loser is here pendejo oh shit man white dude white ramen with white urkel with some blue

Lude, dream, oil on top of that, and AFKOOT oil.

Okay.

707 Sour Shatter, put that together.

Yeah? Sour Shatter?

Oh, yeah, baby.

Oh, yeah, baby. Baby, baby, baby.

Lonesome recommends we should call places and people,

accuse them of bullying me,

and say that I'm going to run my parents in the media

and going to sue them.

That's in the vein of the Miami Dolphins player

who pussed out all of a sudden.

He was friends with some dude on the team, and the guy sent him, like, mean voicemails, and he decided to quit.

Are these the two that were gay, the two gay football players?

There's no gay football players.

There's no such thing.

None of them are out.

None of them have come out of the closet.

Okay.

Dude, have you seen that video or the documentary that's showing that new type of brain disorder that occurs specifically with football players and wrestlers?

Matt Hillock disease?

disease yeah yeah yeah it's related to that one that's more on the abusive side of things but

still you know similar similar in comparison yeah maybe fully tanked up but these guys like stay

like that in that permanently in that state for a lifetime dude and they're like die from it man

you gotta see the there's this video it was like uh was it frontline i think showed it man

it it is it is pitiful they showed these great guys from uh like the stealers in different

here is and they show what the guy looked like before he died and they show what his body looked

like how like this brain disease actually starts destroying your body after you know your mind and

everything's gone that's why those guys like commit suicide that one guy commit suicide where

was that miami remember a few months ago who was junior somebody yeah yeah yeah i forgot he had it

too all these guys that went did all that weird shit all have it man and most of them are dead

now and it happens it younger you start it the worse it gets man because it actually fucks you

up worse when you're younger than you're older and people are starting to find out about it now

you know because like they like it's not safe to send your children to play football because of

the fucking brain injury not the bodily injury it's the actual impact of the brain bashing in

the inside of the skull it's not supposed to happen and it does destroy the tissue over a

a long period of time so that was junior so i think or see i never knew i really had a

i know they're all jacked up and weirded out that has a lot to do with i know that they're

um the family's suing the nfl and then there's that one famous cat who just now had the uh he

had the diagnosis god he's one of the old old school players well it's you know he hasn't played

in quite some time the nfl's been putting it down and trying to pretend like that you know

it's a bunch of bullshit and then now they can't deny it so now what they did was they're like say

oh yeah well we'll spend a lot of money and discover more so they bought their cells more

time you know as people are going to die from this shit and it's the same you know i mean football

was a great you know amazing sport but coming to realize the actual dangers that would be this

scary man i mean because now it made me think a lot about head traumas and i know quite a few people

that, you know, as they grew up with head traumas, dude,

and how their behavior, you know, changed

and how they were before and after head trauma, dude, it's real.

It is a real thing, man.

Yeah, I mean, look at the dad.

The dad was a star football player in high school,

and he took a nasty hit right in the head

and then lightning struck him right on the field,

and that's why he talks like that.

Exactly.

Yeah.

You know, now he just plays golf.

You know, he just plays a lot of, you know, goofy golf.

off um it's tony dorsett former player for the dog for the dallas cowboys who rushed for more

than 12 000 yards back in the day yeah there's another one dude off the off the steelers i

forget his name right at the moment dude dude it just it just smacked it was really an amazing

show dude after i saw that my jaw dropped man i was like i always knew it but i didn't realize

how how badly you know destroyed your body gets when your brain is messed up well yeah you take

take nasty hits in football man right you know you take nasty hits right in the head when i

played high school football i got i got rung up sometimes uh twice once in a game like i got hit

and just the way it hit it made the right kind of contact with like my head my head snapped back

and dude i just i had a concussion dude but i mean i've had almost like a light that's not good

That's a hard hit.

All right, here's UK numbers.

I came in from AMD.

This is Timor Penzance.

Penzance.

Who's got Penzance?

Your mom.

Penzance, that's a good tobacco, dude.

He's a very actioning tobacco.

Waiting for the win.

Hanging up, trying to get him.

Penzance, actually, is one of my favorites.

How'd that come back?

Hey.

Hello.

Is that Penzance?

Hello.

Penzance, Mr. Penzance, Hamor?

Yeah.

Hey, how are you, buddy?

Do you guys...

I'm going to sleep, buddy.

It's 4 o'clock in the morning.

Oh, okay.

Can I watch you sleeping?

Oh, man.

I want to watch some guys sleep.

So what is that?

A rolling tobacco or a chewing one or what exactly, Milkman?

No, it's a smoking tobacco.

You're right.

It is kind of like rolled.

You can layer these different types of tobacco, and then they slice it, and it comes out like ribbons.

And then you break it up.

It's kind of like not really moist, but it is.

Like those fajitas you get.

it's almost like cake but much more solid right but still it's got a little light bit of moisture

in it when that moisture disappears and it becomes you know harsh and shit so when you first open

that cannabis like got like a honey like flavor to it oh man is it good tobacco yeah anyway they're

calling it cte chronic traumatic and that's it that's it i know it's cet or some shit like

yeah i'm not well to do but now that i know what it does to people you know here's how i look at

at it man any fucking body that's crazy enough to expose themselves knowingly to these types of

dangers and you know and willing physical punishment you know dude they deserve to make

that money i mean if you want to fucking be a gladiator and go out there and fucking destroy

yourself and live to be baby's baby baby's basically a big baby by the time you're 50

and dead by the time you're 60 65 and they deserve the money yeah dude i think people

should know the truth i think people should know the truth what these guys are putting out there

They're risking and why they deserve the pay.

There's going to continue to be that kind of sport.

It ought to be recognized for what it is.

They're gladiators.

That's what it's come down to.

Wow, man.

It's like that movie Any Given Sunday.

MG, Nick, well, we're trying this one again.

I just felt so sad after I saw that movie.

Seriously, look at us.

Frontline.

Look it up.

I'm sure you can find it probably on YouTube or somewhere now and download it.

Seriously, dude, watch it, man.

It's a draw-dropper.

Draw-jopper, guys.

Here's M.G. Nicoli.

You jobbed your draw.

That's right.

Always job your draw when you see that, man.

Hello.

Your call cannot be taken at the moment, so please leave your...

So, so nothing.

Sassy.

Silver Lanes, also known as Punky's Place Karaoke Lounge.

Apparently that's some kind of, what is it?

Bowling alley.

Bowling, Milkman.

Man, that should be an Olympic sport, if you ask me.

I love bowling.

I don't give a fuck about anybody.

I'm actually a pretty good bowler.

I used to be in the league and check out a ball and shoes and everything.

I got two balls and a penis.

It kind of like lasts as like the common man sport, but it's actually not easy to do it well.

So, Elaine, this is Dustin.

How may I help you?

Hey, you know, if the Special Olympics has bowling, then they should totally have it for the regular Olympics.

Hold on.

Say that one more time.

If the Special Olympics has bowling competitions and medals, they should totally have it for the Olympics.

Okay.

Because those Reeveys shouldn't just get all the glory, if you ask me.

I understand.

Okay.

Do you charge less or more for bumper bowling?

It's going to cost the same amount.

I don't understand, because why do you charge the same and there's no bumpers?

What's that?

Why do you charge the same and there's no bumpers?

is not fair because it's harder to play it and you still charge the same amount that's not right

oh no yeah and i'm not using the bumpers i don't need that you can take that off okay you can keep

the bumpers down take it off and take it off my bill they're they're not on your bill what about

shoes i don't need that i got shoes you got bowling shoes i have shoes well you don't have

bowling shoes and it sounds like you need bowling shoes i've got wrestling shoes uh that probably

what we won't do. They're just about

the same. They're flat and all that.

That doesn't make a difference. They don't make any marking.

Non-marking sole, it says on it.

I understand, but you've got to have bowling shoes.

Listen, I want to pay less for

no bumper bowling. It's not

right. It's not fair, because I'm not using

the bumpers, and it's a harder game.

Okay, well, the bumpers are free.

No, no, no. You charge

the same price for bumpers to not

Yeah, that's because they're

free. If you deactivate the bumper. That's because

Because they are free.

I'm not using it.

No, they're not free.

Yeah, but they are free.

No, they're not.

Yeah, they are.

So can I just use the bumpers by themselves?

What?

Can I just use the bumpers by themselves?

I can't do that, can I?

So Bloody Well isn't free.

I can't use the bumpers by themselves without the bowling alley.

Yeah, you probably couldn't use the bumpers anyways.

You sound like you're older than nine years old.

There's a law, there's a rule now about using the bumpers?

Of course.

Why?

Because there always has been.

So you're charging me for something I'm not even allowed to use it?

I don't charge anyone for it.

If you can't understand that concept, we won't be talking much longer.

No, you charge for the whole thing, and then you take the bumpers down,

I don't even use it, and you charge me just as much.

That's not fair. That's not right.

And it's a harder game. Isn't it harder without the bumpers?

It is.

Why do you charge the same if the difficulty is the same?

It's not the same.

Like I said, the concept of them being free,

If you can't understand that, I don't know what to do for you.

I don't need pins either.

I only need like half the pins.

I only play like...

Sounds like you don't need the bowl.

I just need four pins.

Four pins.

I play four pins in the Diamond Formation.

Sweet.

So you'll get like a 40?

Yeah.

It's...

Pretty good game.

It's Spanish rules.

You play with four pins, and the game is called Pelota.

It's called Pelota.

Is there anything I could do for you?

I'm going to...

Yeah.

Yeah, only four pins and no bumpers.

I don't need the bumpers.

Don't need the rest of the pins.

What else there?

I don't need that wax stuff on there that's on the lane itself, you know,

the waxy finish that you put on there.

I don't need that either.

You can strip that right off because I don't need that.

All right, we'll strip that off.

I don't need you to return the ball to me.

I'll walk myself each time and get the ball.

Righteous.

You can turn that machine off and the little fan for your hand.

I don't need that, okay?

Sounds like you need to go back in time, man.

You can turn that off.

And then the scoreboard, I don't need that.

I'll keep paper scores.

Yeah, it sounds like you definitely need to go back in time.

Well, I'm just taking all the stuff off so it could be cheaper.

I can get a few more games in.

That won't change anything.

Leave the TV screen off for the scores.

I don't need to see that.

It might change something to you, but it's not going to change any price.

here that's not fair that's not fair i'm sorry fuck uh what about fool fool what about it fool

you have fool yeah do you have hambu do i have what hambu i can't hear you so hambu oh you can

hear don't act don't start milkman he's starting that thing i'm sorry but i can't hear you that

well okay maybe because it's so busy uh huh maybe because it's so busy yeah maybe yeah maybe

Are you having a good time?

Because, like, I could do this all day, bro.

Okay, all right.

Yeah, you can do this all day?

You want to do it?

You can do it for a while?

Like, you're just going to sit there and wait me out?

Wait you out?

You're going to wait me out until I give up and hang up?

You think I have nothing else I can do?

You don't think I can do this all night?

You don't think I can?

Okay, all right, fine, asshole.

There you go.

Do you have a rule about cursing?

What the?

Do you have a cursing rule?

Huh?

Do you have a cursing rule?

Do I?

Yeah.

Sounds like you don't.

I totally don't.

I don't know if you can listen to it, if you can take it.

I'm sorry, dude.

I can't hear you.

You got another ringing going on.

May I help you?

Yeah, I got the guy over here at the bowling alley.

And where?

At the bowling alley.

I don't know where he's sitting.

The bowling alley.

I want to make an order.

Okay.

What do you like to order?

Let's see.

I want two large pizzas with pepperoni.

You want borderline pepperoni?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yep.

Okay.

Andy Daniel?

No, that's it.

Delivery.

You do delivery, right?

What's the address?

3010 Eubank Boulevard, Northeast.

Hold on, okay?

Give me a second.

All right.

Hello?

What's the address?

It's 3010 Eubank Boulevard.

It's at the bowling alley.

What's the crossroad?

Do Eubank.

Eubank Boulevard, Northeast.

By where?

In Albuquerque.

Albuquerque?

Albuquerque.

Well, is it Stockton or what?

uh albuquerque what state is that in what new mexico i'm sorry they don't deliver over there

you know delivered in new mexico no okay all right well that didn't work out let's call the

angry beaver lounge are you still there bowling man he's playing with his balls right now he's

got 16 pound balls it sounds like we're calling live from the bowling alley yeah count your balls

all of them at once one two so how many how many balls will strike how many balls equal a strike

Hello?

Yeah, how many balls equal a strike over there?

Hello?

She's like, how many balls equal a strike?

That's good.

In the bag.

Now, if you get two fouls equal to a strike, or is that only equal to a ball?

Five balls.

I think it's five balls.

Five balls.

That's a hell of a big pair.

Five balls is a big-ass pair, dude.

Do you have 10-point balls?

Stupid prank.

Tell them it's a little underweight, right?

right? That's for juniors, right?

You got a head

the size of

a grapefruit, so you need a 10-pound

ball. Who's the comedian that originated

that one? Was it Andy

Kaufman?

Oh, a parent called a bowling alley

and asked if they had 10-pound balls, and then I said,

well, how do you get pants for that?

I want to say it was Andy Kaufman.

I don't think it's that old.

I don't know who said it, but

that's what I was saying earlier about 16-pound

balls that's the old joke well it was andy kaufman because andy was fucking he was bright

i love him and yeah but when did andy kaufman die in the 70s still right or the 80s 80s 80s

because uh saturday night live was a few years in yeah that was his undoing there it's pretty

good when he was on taxi though vodka thank you very much yeah

now we got two p i think they just left us on hold too

Cool, let's see how many more can join the party

We've got a party line going

Let's keep going

The bowling alley is definitely connected

We've got enchiladas to deliver

Over the bowling alley

Let's see what else

Here's a pressure washer for sale

Let's call them

Call Nautica and ask her if she wants to help us sell a pressure washer

There you go

I'm going to put it in my asshole

-dun-dun-dun.

Do-doot.

Pressure, pressure, pressure on me.

Yeah, listen.

Hello?

You have a gas-powered pressure?

Stupid thing?

Hello?

You have a gas pressure?

Bad gas?

Power weather washer?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, pressure washer.

Yeah, damn it.

Call me.

No, you have a power pressure washer, right?

I wanted to put it.

You got my number, and it is 1117.

I'm going to put it in my asshole and turn it on.

It's high colonics, baby.

High colonics, 1117, man.

It's late.

It's time for it.

It's past time for your colonic.

I only have about 17 minutes to go.

Sure.

One of these guys hung up on me already.

That can't be the bowling pass, Peter, because I ain't heard from him yet.

He must be asleep.

No, the bowling's still on.

The bowling's still on.

Hey, buddy.

buddy. Hey, bowling guy.

Hello. No one is available

to take your calls. Please leave

a message at home. Hey, we're

calling from the fucking bowling alley.

I just wanted you to come down

and play some bowling with us.

Be nice. Take our call.

Bowling guy is still here. Bowling guy,

what are you doing? Bowlingganza.

That's the one with the five number there.

Hey, but he's like clicking

the phone. Why are you clicking the phone? I haven't

gone anywhere. I told you it was going to stay on.

Stupid. There he is. He must be

because i ain't heard one bowling pin yet man i think he transferred us to like an office or

something uh oh looking for a daily ride here to work let's call back in on the on the other

line and see if he picks up because i bet you it will if it's transferred over you could still

ring in right he hung up he hung up he hung up i win i told you that i'd out sit him he's a little

little pussy. That's what happens when you mess around

at the madhouse. You get shown.

Hello? You pick back up.

Hi there. You did. Why'd you hang up

on me? I told you I'd live. People that play

with their balls. She hung up. Are gay.

It was a woman and she hung up.

She was listening and she hung up.

People that play

with their balls are gay, man. That's what we was telling her.

That was a lesson for the moment.

Here's someone looking for an aluminum

camper top for a Toyota truck

machine. All right.

It's a conversion from a

794 Stratus.

Yeah, you're looking for an aluminum camper top machine?

No, he's not here tonight.

He'll call back tomorrow.

What'd you say?

He's not here.

He'll call back tomorrow.

Where's he at?

Work?

Is he taking a shit in the toilet?

He's sleeping, though, Ben.

She lied because he was sleeping.

That's what it was.

I bet you.

She's a freaking lion for that penostrial tube.

Christmas shop at our multifamily yard sale.

I don't know if this is the same people posting again from before.

Or the first call, the lady who asked if she rides, you know.

Yeah, she rides a broomstick, man.

That's a different number.

We're good.

Oh, man, that's...

Yeah, you have a yard sale tomorrow?

Hello?

Yeah.

Do you have any appliances?

No.

What do you have there, boy?

A bunch of clothes.

Yeah?

Okay.

Any electronics?

Nope.

That's pretty stupid, then.

Sounds like shit.

Sounds like you'd suck a dick.

Motherwood.

I'm gonna go

I think he's offering

I'll go down the street

and suck my dick tomorrow

you got it

you got it man

come on

come on by here

I like it

he's willing to learn

okay I got a 12 incher

fuck that's a little

motherfucker

I can take 24

you stupid bastard

right in your ass

stay out of here

right in your ass

you ain't black either

you got a deep ass hole

right in your ass hole

you ain't black either

that didn't say it was black

I didn't say

it was a black

I didn't say that.

Where'd you get that from?

We got big 16-pound balls.

A 12-incher means I'm black.

I'm Italian.

You sounded Hawaiian.

Head me, fool.

Oh, that's Milkman.

He's Hawaiian.

So that and Melonkin, I'm not sure.

He's mulatto.

Yeah.

Do you have any roosters for sale?

Any roosters?

All right, he's doing it, too.

He's just going to hang out and listen to us.

All right.

I love these party guides.

It's planet TV.

Very hung up on it.

We're just getting the party started, man.

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice.

Try them again.

Lots of yard sales, huh?

Yard sale season.

Get some extra cash.

Christmas.

Christmas time.

Get to buy shit for everyone.

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice.

Let's call Wesley who's looking for a one or two bedroom apartment to rent.

Wesley Pipes?

Yep.

Wesley Pipes.

Yeah.

That's the best pipe sponsor.

Yeah.

Yeah, the dog named Killer.

Billy Bonthorn.

Billy Bonthorn was the one, yeah.

And what was the hookah that they couldn't use?

Hello?

Hey, buddy.

How are you, Big Wesley?

You're looking for a bedroom, two-bedroom place?

No, I done found me a place.

You done found it?

Yes, I done got one.

I found the lease on it tomorrow.

Oh, you haven't signed it yet.

Maybe my place is nicer.

How much you going to pay rent, buddy?

I'm going to pay $350.

$280, everything included, including HBO.

full cable oh really yeah where is it at it's on in rogersville on church where it's see on church

church street lady where's church street i'll get you the address honey baby listen we i mean

there's cameras and everything it's very secure there's cameras in every room there's there's

cameras in every room yeah and then what we do is we we pay you sixty dollars out of every hundred

for the sessions, the shows.

You do shows on the video camera

and you get paid 60%.

Okay, no, I'm not into that.

I'm good.

You can show your penis.

I'll fail me a price.

Thank you, though.

But this one, you get paid.

You have enough not.

You get paid for being there.

You just have to pay $2.80.

You can show your vagina.

That's fun.

He sounded like Clay Aiken.

I thought he'd be into that.

He sounded like a gay Southern kid.

Yeah.

There probably was Clay Aiken.

That's funny.

He just calls himself.

Before that, we had Tucker on the line.

Now we got Clay Aiken, dude.

We're getting a hell of a show tonight.

Big show.

Tucker Mike from tuckermike.com and Clay Aiken from American Idol.

And a dad also adopted a baby machine.

Or he had a baby machine.

Yeah.

Looking for new or used canning jars.

New or used canning jars, motherfucker.

Let's call them, okay?

Canning jars.

Hell yeah.

Mason jars, I think that is.

is i love drinking coke out of a mason jar with a lot of ice dude yeah like a little bit of ice

and some moonshine in it baby and then you're cooking there's some mountain dew out of a mason

jar with like a ton of ice that's real mountain dew there do do mountain dude do do do shit man

thank you sorry about that poor gay wesley doesn't want to do little cam shows from the

the madhouse in the madhouse uh fucking billy bonk thornton and man if we can't get wesley pipes

the madhouse cam house in the voyeur house oh you reached the voicemail mother fuck your voicemail

fountain coke sloth you're right you know what also tastes good is caffeine free diet and fountain

i don't know why it just tastes so much better than a regular one i think caffeine free soda

versions like caffeine free coke uh you know coca-cola tastes way better than the caffeinated

one because if you ever taste caffeine i don't know if i like coke zero have you ever tasted

pure caffeine it tastes like bitter as fuck it's bitter it's bitter yeah it tastes like shit very

bitter yeah the the the caffeine free versions of of regular soda even tastes way better in my

opinion that's what i and the diet ones same thing you can make a diet so that's why they put

the phosphoric acid in there right to offset the bitterness right that's why it's kind of got like

got tart like acidy flavoring to it because you want to offset all that that bitterness that you

get from the caffeine man caffeine is fucking gnarly bitter man eat you a no-dose one time

just stick it in your mouth and see what it tastes like and you're wow that's caffeine

you get caffeine pills yeah the caffeine pills you break one of those open and taste it tastes

like crystallized caffeine they press into a tablet and they grind it up and that's what you

got it fucking is nasty no-dose fibrin all them things all the same shit is fucking horrible

and if you are in a caffeine fix

or whatever

the only thing you got is one of these company drug stores

on the wall

go in there and find the nearest approximation

of Excedrin

anything that normally mimics Excedrin

has a dose of caffeine in it

probably acetaminophen

maybe aspirin

at least 25 mg of caffeine

in one fucking tablet

yeah because they put the caffeine in it

because it helps it work faster

it gets to the brain faster

I told him, I said, I've been young, man.

He said, well, do you ever get tired?

He said, go over there in that medicine cabinet there and get you a couple of those.

And he told me, and I went and looked, only five milligrams.

Fucking A, man, you didn't have to drink coffee.

Eat a couple of Exhedrins.

Yeah, that's fine.

I've done that before.

Those BC powder, I think, is the best thing for a headache is BC powder.

The little envelopes that have the, it's basically crushed up aspirin with caffeine.

And it not only doesn't wake you up, but it takes a headache really fast, gets rid of it really fast because it's powder form.

Caffeine actually is used a lot.

I find it especially, I can ask, most people have caffeine addiction.

And as soon as you don't get it, you get headaches.

I've broken a caffeine addiction twice now.

Mrs. Mahalo.

Mahalo, not smiling at your service.

Okay, and you're in Calico, what?

Calicawa.

All right.

A hired hotel.

Oh, very.

Hired agency.

Shut up.

Very nice.

Do you have four hands, four women?

How many hands can I get?

For tonight or for tomorrow?

Tomorrow.

What time tomorrow?

What do you have available?

For total four people?

No, no, no.

Well, just me and then I want one woman to give me a massage with one hand.

Are you peeing?

Right.

Wait, you want a female?

Uh-huh.

I have 11 o'clock.

Okay, and how many hands does she have?

Sorry, say again?

How many hands?

Hands.

Hands?

Okay, so two, wait.

We do, you only want to do hands massage or do body massage?

Body massage, but how many hands does she use?

One or two?

Two.

Can I pay less just for one hand?

oh let me double check we see anybody do one hand hold on one minute okay okay go solo

the music nice this is going way over they got the whole app it's going way over her head

find this place man she has no idea what i mean and she's going around asking how many

you have one hand oh shit he's very innocent very nice oh yeah man hand job man one orgasm

there you go for a nice hotel their phone system sucks hi this sucks thank you thank you for

waiting i hate your telephone hello i hate your telephone i hate it oh sorry okay what was going

on honey what'd you find out honey baby um most the massage is only one person and then

do by two hands okay i just want one hand i don't need the other one one hand i think they don't do

one hand mean that mean only one hand for massage you yeah you don't yeah they most do like no me

you know me massages by two hands oh yeah yeah i'm definitely too small for that uh-huh oh yeah

i'm not that big of a guy so i just need one hand oh i'm so sorry oh man so so i have to do

do you charge me less than yeah we're still charging the like we have 50 minute massage

all right yeah okay very nice very nice honey thank you okay thank you for asking the people

about one hand massage also oh i see i don't need any oil either i can provide my own oil

oh i see yeah i use my own oil motherfucking shit asshole fuck shit you know hello okay

Okay, okay, sorry, yeah, we have...

Asshole, you know?

You know what asshole is?

Sorry, I have to go, so...

God damn it.

Yeah, we took by my two hands, so...

God damn you, god damn it.

Fucking, fucking, fuck, shit, fuck, shit, fuck.

Fucking shit.

Get hung up.

Come on, we still lost her.

Hey, is this the stupid Chinese people food?

Hello?

Is this stupid asshole Chinese people food?

Hello?

It's just Chinese food.

This is a Chinese restaurant.

May I help you?

I'll make a roll order.

Okay.

All right.

One foo.

What's that?

One foo.

One foo ham boo.

Oh, I think you have the wrong number.

Yeah, we don't sell that.

Number four.

Fucking milkman.

All right.

That's Dialer with Masturbation Call number 12, it says.

Very good.

That was called I Want a Kiss.

I Need a Kiss.

Give Me a Kiss is the name of that motherfucker.

Hey, Milkman.

Hey, we losing Milkman?

Moving right along with some more show.

Indian food time.

Time for some ban chad.

Oh, shit, I'm getting hungry.

That crazy call that we do all the time where we call and say, ban chad.

Gondu, motherfucker, gondu.

I like that pelota.

That was funny.

Pelota.

Yeah, that was my laugh.

It's time to make an order.

One chicken tandoori.

Okay.

One order of papadums.

Okay.

one garlic naan okay one bhenchod what one bhenchod what is that bhenchod or maruchod

i don't really know no no i don't know what is that maruchod maruchod uh you have sister

you bring your sister to me bhenchod you know so i can shoot her you know chudi chudi

are you do you want to order no

Durhala, hala.

Gandu.

All right, Gandu.

Ulu.

Bhenchod.

Come on, man.

Bhenchod, Bhenchod.

Bhenchod?

You know Bhenchod?

I don't know.

I don't understand what you're saying.

Are you...

Yeah, do you have Bhenchod?

Lanchon.

Bhenchod.

No, no, Lanchon.

Bhenchod.

Lanchon, I have.

Papadum.

Yeah.

Yes, sir, may I help you?

You can come in here and you got your order.

Because you're almost 50 minutes close.

Oh, 10 o'clock is close.

9 o'clock.

Okay, coming.

You can come in here, and I'll give you yours.

Okay?

Okay.

They settle it amongst themselves.

Very nice.

I just sat back and let them go.

All right.

Milkman, here's the Darshana.

Nice of them.

Yeah, nice of them to get that squared away, man.

I'm glad you could help them out there.

No, we're going to do another community service performed by the Madhouse, right?

We're calling the Aroma Indian Cuisine.

Aroma.

The Aroma.

Okay.

The Turkish aroma in Indian cuisine.

Come right up here.

Come on, phone.

Now it's busy.

Well, that's not working.

Apparently, they're busy.

Yeah, I want to make an order.

Yes.

All right, one chicken tandoori.

What number, sir?

You don't have the caller ID there.

It's a new phone.

I have to find it written down somewhere.

Okay.

Go ahead, order.

One chicken tandoori.

Mild, medium, spicy.

Spicy.

Next.

One tandoori raj.

What'd you say?

One tandoori raj.

Tandoori raj.

Okay.

You know, tandoori chicken, chicken tikka kebab,

sea kebab, lamb patty kebab,

shrimp, fish, whatever you like.

Shut up.

Do you have papadums?

Yeah.

One papadums?

Uh-huh.

One bhenchod?

Say?

Bhenchod?

You look my mania?

Yeah, I look it.

There's a big bhenchod here,

and it's a picture of you, a bhenchod.

I don't know, sir.

You know what bhenchod is?

What do you say?

Bhenchod is a man that fucks his sister.

No, I don't have my mania this time.

You don't know the man that fucks his sister?

Huh?

Do you kiss your sister?

Hello?

Do you kiss your sister, please?

No have menu.

No menu here.

No have menu.

No food.

No have menu.

No food, no menu here.

Okay.

He's saying he doesn't have it on the menu, Milkman.

But he's so stupid.

No have menu.

He's so stupid.

Here, I'll do a prank call to a resident.

I'm trying to play stupid there.

Fucking no have menu.

Bullshit.

He has two menus.

I'll eat a cracker during this call.

Hello?

All right, Jack.

How's it going?

Hello?

Who is this?

It's Eddie.

No, Jack.

Eric?

Jack.

Mm-hmm.

Well.

Okay, give us a number.

That's us and Darsana.

Wait, who?

Darsana.

I'm sorry, repeat that.

Darsana.

Who is this?

This is Jack Masterson.

I want to speak to Darsana.

Yeah, about?

It's private matter.

About what?

Private matter.

I'm sorry, what?

Private business matter.

Business matter?

Oh.

Okay, I think you have the wrong number.

This is an attempt to collect a debt.

To collect a bet?

A debt.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I'm required to let you know that this call is recorded and monitored for your convenience.

I need to speak with Ms. Darshana Prakasam.

Okay.

An attempt to collect a debt.

They do not understand.

Oh, man.

What is dog in Hindi?

I don't know.

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

I don't know who this is, Darshana Prakasam.

That was a good cracker call, Jack.

Oh.

Jack Crackerson.

Hello?

What happened?

I really think you have the wrong number.

No, I need to speak to Darshana.

Is Darshana there?

Please.

I'm going to put you down that you're not paying your debt.

Okay, what is this debt?

It's going to go into collections.

It's over a horse that you rented.

Hello?

Okay.

Gone.

She left.

Out of here.

On her ass.

Calling someone else.

Darshana's gone?

Darshana's gone.

I'm waiting on the call here to connect.

Skype is rolling.

Skype is having some trouble connecting.

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

This is some kind of Indian-themed hotel, I'm told, but I'm not getting through.

All right, let me try this instead.

Bam.

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

4-0-4-5-1-3-5.

Ooh.

Okay.

Let's see.

I am out of numbers for the time being.

Oh, shit, man.

Let me check request a prank.

MSG3 Clay drops a shout-out to Milkman from the IRC chat room.

hoping you can stop by sometime oh my brother clay all right man uh someone requested a call

to a best buy they're probably closed by now so i will pass don't play at your services buddy

it's a good man right there here's a number from lonesome the catmandu kitchen

hot off the fucking conveyor line this came oops i copied it wrong what an asshole that ain't gonna

going to work. Are you Indian?

No. Can I speak to an Indian?

Did you want to order food or what was

it regarding? I have a business

with an Indian person there.

You know, unless you can tell me what your

business is regarding, I'm really not going to be able

to pass the phone along. It's a private business

matter. Well, you know,

I just can't pass the phone

along without information. Alright, I'll make an order.

We get a lot of people soliciting

us. You get a lot of people what?

Soliciting. Trying to sell

Thanks to our business owners.

I'll make an order.

Okay.

One chicken tandoori.

All right.

Is this for pickup or for delivery?

For pickup.

Okay.

Can I get your phone number?

Area code first.

I'm not sure what number comes up from here, my office.

It should come up in the caller ID.

Yeah, well, the caller ID is no longer displayed on my phone.

Okay.

I got it.

I got it here.

I got it.

You ready?

Yeah.

Okay.

Hello?

Yeah.

Did you get it?

No, you weren't talking to me.

You were speaking to somebody else, and I couldn't hear you at all.

Hello?

She refuses to listen to me.

I think you're going to send Eddie or somebody back in there.

A little heavy hitting.

That was pretty nice of you.

I want to give you my phone number.

Okay.

Nine, three, four, seven.

Okay.

Okay, and I want to make an order.

Okay.

All right.

So you can pick up delivery.

Pick up.

Okay, what would you like to order?

One chicken tikka masala.

Okay.

One chicken tandoori.

Mild, medium, hot.

Spicy.

Okay.

Hot.

One tandoori chicken.

Medium.

okay medium okay one papadums one garlic naan okay and one banchu one garlic naan okay one

banchu say it one banchu i don't understand what is this once you know so you have sister

you bring your sister and you kiss her banchu hey buddy what hello hey buddy hey don't you call

Oh, like a bad word here.

Okay, one ban chute, one moderate chute then.

Okay, okay, thank you.

One pussy.

Okay, thank you.

One asshole.

Okay, okay.

He's a peaceful Indian.

He must be vegetarian.

Hello?

Yeah, what happened?

You said don't call or call again?

Don't you like this bad word?

I don't know what you mean.

Okay, then no ban.

Okay, don't forget that.

What did you get?

What order?

What part?

I know maybe your order.

Come on, please.

Okay.

It's for my family, please.

My family.

My family, guys.

We'll connect Baz here.

Let's do Baz.

Baz calling in like a bitch motherfucker.

Baz.

And I'm trying to contact Ashoka, the great cuisine of India.

Hi, Baz.

Hey.

Hey, Ken.

Stupid.

Hello?

Hey, you want to make an order?

Hey, no.

I know you want to make an order.

Sorry, buddy.

I'm somebody else.

No, no, I don't make J4, please.

Come on.

Okay?

I'll pay double.

I ask you, please, buddy.

You call somewhere.

I don't make J4.

Son of a bitch.

Okay, good night.

Asshole.

All right, I called the same guy again on accident.

That was funny.

Fuck you, bitch motherfucker.

He's, like, just offended.

Yeah, can I make an order?

Okay.

Good evening, Hachadobe.

Yes, I'd like to place an order, please, for pickup.

What is your name, please?

Yeah, my name is David Snozwell.

Snazwell. Yes. Last name

Snazwell. Okay. And your telephone

number, please? Yes. My

telephone number is

8534

28. 28? Yes.

After? Okay, sir. What do you

like to have? Yeah, I would like one

order of chicken tikka masala.

Okay. Is it spicy?

Very spicy. I want it to

burn my asshole

tomorrow when I take a shit in the toilet.

And yes, I would like one

order of papadums. Okay.

And then I would like one order of tandoori kuta.

Tandoori?

Yeah, tandoori kuta.

Do you sell that?

Tandoori chicken.

Do you have tandoori chicken?

You'd like one chicken tikka masala?

Yes.

One papadum?

Yes.

And one order of ponchoed.

Did he get that?

I guess he got it.

I guess so.

Kuta's dog, I understand.

That's the word on the street.

Yeah.

That's a big word.

The big new one that you just learned.

Yeah.

Ponchoed in the chat room taught me that.

Is Bancho the real Indian?

It sounds like it.

It's funny he goes in there with Bancho.

Hey, boy, how are you?

I'd like to make an order.

Yes, go ahead, sir.

Okay, one tandoori chicken.

One tandoori chicken.

Uh-huh.

Spicy?

You want full or?

Spicy.

Yeah, you want full tandoori chicken or half?

Full, what do you mean?

Full is going to be eight pieces and half is going to be four pieces.

It's how many penises?

For the full order, it's going to be eight pieces.

How many spaces?

How many?

Spaces.

Eight pieces.

Spaces.

Eight?

All right, fine.

The full one, stupid.

Full?

He said, you heard him.

He said, by the way, I don't want to talk to him.

And I thought he did say how many penises.

Yeah, this isn't going to like penises.

That's why I went with that.

It was just right for the fucking thing.

Here's a different Indian place.

You're a prank call professional.

Yeah.

Ken, do you not like doing pranks to Indians?

You look just like talking to women, I think.

That's all Ken likes.

Most of the time when I start talking to Indians, I start blanking on the fucking food.

So then I sound like an idiot.

Oh, because you're white trash.

No.

I'm like, I want some naan bread.

Then I'm like, uh, fuck.

I don't know.

I don't eat that shit.

What a trash motherfucker.

Hello?

Yeah, make an order, please.

To go?

Yeah.

Okay.

What do you like?

One chicken tikka masala?

That's all you want?

One banjood?

Which one?

Banjood?

I don't know.

We don't have that.

Do you have a sister that you'll kiss for me?

I can watch you kiss.

Hello?

Hi.

Do you have washing machine?

Do you ever ride it?

No.

No?

You don't like that?

Okay.

Whatever.

Stupid.

Sizzling tandoori instead.

Baz, you do another one because I'm fucking...

All right.

I was thinking about ducking out a little earlier because I'm not 100% yet.

I'm getting there.

there bye yeah yeah take it take it slow it kind of sore sitting in this chair for too long and

skype still taking a long time to connect come on there we are no answer there here's a random uk

number this is for a last name rada i think you would like that bass can't be a night without

you getting a shot at that so rada rada that's all we got well what's the first initial i think

think i have a first initial s s rada r-o-d-d-a here you go yay this is from amd invalid phone

number great yay fuck yeah did i miss a digit looking at it three seven nope okay well here's

uh cadman cadman all right uh cadman hk cadman yeah maybe this one will work copy coming here

Here, and paste, and go.

Pow.

Hoping we'd be able to wake him up, but that didn't work.

Here's E.E. Gilbert.

E.D. Gilbert.

Double E.

Okay, E.E. Gilbert.

E.E.

Yep.

E.E. Gilbert.

E.E.

Do you know that yes in Tagalog is oh-oh?

Oh-oh.

I did not know that.

And that's spelled oh-oh.

If I had an Asian kid like Milkman, I would name him oh-shit.

Oh, no.

Okay.

Bo Dilly instead.

Bo Dilly.

E.M. Bo Dilly.

Bo Dilly.

Yeah, these are all AMD's numbers.

I think you got them from work.

And I am trying to get at least one here to answer before I call out a night.

So I want to make sure I pay attention to those.

All right.

And that was invalid.

Yeah, they don't all work.

So I don't know what's up with AMD's numbers.

Here's a few from Lonesome.

And those are all formatted up correctly, so this should be easier for me here.

Here is Baker, Michael Baker.

Yeah, he sounds like a wanker.

Yeah, there's more digits on these numbers.

Yeah.

Hello, Mr. Baker.

Yeah.

Yes, my name is David Snozwell.

How are you today, my good sir?

Hello?

Do you know what time it is?

I do not know what time it is.

Can you tell me?

Yeah.

What time is it?

What time is it there?

I reckon it's probably about 5 a.m. in the morning.

Yeah, it is, yeah.

Yeah, well, that's okay.

I'm calling from the Royal Service,

and I'm calling to tell you that I will be there in about one hour to inspect your house.

It's a mandatory inspection,

so I expect you to clean up any rubbish that you have gathered about your porch.

Well, then, I guess so.

Hey, no, don't say that to me.

Don't hang up.

I'm going to give you some instructions.

Don't do it.

Man, I'm going to try to bring him back.

I'm going to have to kick it up to my supervisor.

He may answer it.

but he may answer it.

You sound a little cranky.

Answer the phone, asshole.

If it even rings.

I'm glad you caught that, Carlito.

When we called the Asiatics,

as soon as they answered, I said,

you mulatto motherfucker, and they started going off.

I've been waiting for your call.

Yeah, I've been waiting.

Oh, man, I've been waiting for your call.

Oh, man.

I re-listened to that the next day.

I had to.

Because it's right at the end of that episode,

so it's really easy to find.

It's on Tabachi's site.

Matt was trying to fucking yell at him.

I was like, oh, fuck you.

Everybody got it on them.

Him and his crazy, they're crazy theories.

You know what I mean?

They got some wacky, nutty theories.

I kept trying to bait him with that King Solomon is a faggot line, but they just wouldn't take it.

And you guys got to share his cell phone number that he gave you with me so I can call that later on.

You know what?

I didn't even write it the fuck down, which I should have.

It didn't get bleeped out on the copy that's running out there, which is probably a bad idea.

Yeah, just saying.

But I'll take a listen to it again.

You might still be able to find it on your Skype chat.

Oh, no, he gave you the number, okay.

Yeah.

I see.

So they resurfaced, huh?

Yeah.

The Asian and the Asiatics.

Yeah, last Friday's show.

Listen to the last hour of last Friday.

It's really easy to get to.

Literally open it up and get to, you know, one hour, 60 minutes remaining,

and listen from there.

You're good.

You're golden.

Yeah.

That must have been after I left the conference.

Yeah, you left.

I didn't know if they were going to answer.

Carlito said they wouldn't.

And as soon as he answered, I just yelled, I'm like, you mulatto motherfucker.

He started going, I've been waiting for your call, motherfucker.

All right, Michael Bullen.

There we go.

Oh, it was great.

The other guy got on.

After all that time, I'm like, you've been sitting there waiting on us.

He's got my number.

It comes up in the ID.

I don't know why he's never called me back.

and I've tried to call him

and it was a white girl

would pick up and say

no you can't talk to him

which is funny

because he talks all the shit

about white people

I'm pretty sure

he's got a white

baby mama or something

at least he's trying to move up

in the world

she sure sounded white

if she's black

she's a really white black girl

you know what I mean

like very

okay I'm not going to say something

I was about to make

make a joe biden mistake there when joe biden said that brock seemed very uh cultured for a

black man he said when they were still in the primaries and he was still running against

joe biden carolino do you remember when i put that picture in the chat of the black dude with

the horse he was he was naked oh yeah yeah yeah so on friday show ice goose the shit's in the

skype chat so i changed my picture i take that picture and just zoom it all the way in so it

It only shows, like, the black guy's dick and the horse's dick.

And Ice Goose is like, what the fuck?

He's like, what the fuck's going on?

I kept changing it to stupid shit like that.

He's like, this is fucking bullshit.

Every time I look at Skype, it's something else.

Yeah, that's off the set of Cream Street, too, man.

Shit.

Oh, man.

That's when we chained the guy up.

No, the tiger was chained up.

You wanted to take pictures of him by the fucking tiger and shit.

By the lion chained up to a tree right outside, on an African savannah, right outside of where he was.

Basically, you draw a circle on the floor or on the ground.

Yeah, yeah.

You got to be kidding me.

He's like, you got to, this has got to be crazy.

He enjoyed that.

That was long as hell, too.

Well, actually, your first movie, Ken, was Past the Chicken, wasn't it?

I'm not sure.

That was weird

That call in specific

I never isolated that call out

Because it's like 45 damn minutes long

There's a few that are pretty long

That Madhouse has had

And I don't like to usually post them

Because I don't know

Who really wants to listen to like a 40 minute call

45 minute

But they're usually really good ones

I think besides the survey calls I did

I did the one upper decker one with the pizza guy

And that was like 11 minutes long

And I told him

somebody snuck in his house and shit

in the ass and made him go check it.

Yeah.

Michael Chappell. Yeah.

How are you? Good evening.

We need you to take a look at your

toilet water. I'm calling from United Water

motherfuckers. Wanted to see if you

could take a look at the toilet water.

See if it's flushing brown

or if it's clear. Where are you from?

From United Water motherfuckers.

We're the water company.

United Water? United Water

water motherfuckers. Do you know what time

it is? Not

in England. I'm in our call center

in the United States. It's five o'clock

in the morning. Oh. I probably

should have checked time zones. But

yeah, we're having a problem with the water

system there, and we wanted to see if you

could check to see when you flush a toilet

if it's coming through clear or brown.

That would be to do with

TEMS or nothing to do with you.

No, we... What the fuck

are you phoning me for? We monitor and

administer this water

computer service machine.

Mate, you're making it up as you go along.

No, water computer service machine.

It's called version 12.

We're under contract with them.

Yeah, if you sell.

Can you just please flush the toilet and tell me if it's clear or not?

Of course it'll be clear.

We'll flush it just to make sure

because we have some people reporting brown water

coming through. We're trying to see how far

spread out it is.

No, I'm really sorry to bother you, sir.

And I'm really sorry. I thought it was later

in the morning over there.

I'm very sorry.

But while I have you up,

please, if you can help me,

I just have to call five of our customers

to get a general idea

so I can put it in our outage incident report.

We're concerned because the water's very dirty.

No, it's clear.

Okay.

Is the temperature cold or hot?

Fuck off.

I'm not putting my finger in there.

Okay.

Bye.

All right.

Fuck off.

I got him to flush it, though.

That's always a win.

in my book that's scratching that off as a win michael day michael day baz do it michael goddamn

day god damn fuck jesus made this fucking i'll try all right welcome to bt answer 1571

the person you're calling is not available yeah yeah yeah try it again not getting a hit over

there uh and we did lose baz oh no oh shit his wife probably slapped the shit out of him he

You probably said something she did not like.

John Barker.

Hello.

Hey, good evening.

Is that John?

This is John Barker?

No.

Is John Barker available?

No.

Who's calling?

Is this for Chittern VW?

No.

Who's calling?

Why are you calling?

I'm calling from United Water, motherfuckers.

I am calling because we have a report of a problem.

Oh, I know.

Yes.

Stupid.

Bye-bye.

No, no, no.

It's good.

Hang on.

It's good.

Stupid call.

Bye-bye.

She's got a point.

Ken, I'm done.

I'm leaving.

Bye, Ken.

See you.

Bye, ass.

All right, Milkman.

Come back, Milkman.

Milkman.

I want to go home.

I want to go to bed.

So if you could come back, Milkman.

Take us out of here.

You still listening?

Shit, fuckhole.

Go away.

I knew he always does that.

He comes back without permission.

Ken does.

Well, Milkman.

Not getting an answer from Milkman.

He must have fallen asleep.

sleep he must have fallen into his campfire and fallen asleep and gotten burned to death

that'd be awesome okay sounds terrible there you are all right take us out of here look man

all right there you go folks another crazy installment right you fell in the campfire

dude like if you see smoke put it out yeah you gotta roll stop stop drop and roll that's right

right baby that's right and vape remember man don't smoke that's right that wouldn't happen

come join me man because if you see me you're welcome all right okay milkman so who do we

thank all you crazy that's right that's right i'd like to thank everybody for stopping in we

had a nice room full and for the lonesome loser it's held high for our brother the lonesome loser

for showing up tonight man brother thanks always get in their back and thank all our friends over

over there at the Madhouse, that's right,

and my buddy Colonel Clay out there for doing a fine job as always.

I haven't even got a check-in, though.

The man's doing a good job.

Thank you so much.

Also, all our friends over there, Crazy Ass Nunu,

our member from Wankershire, England, one of our favorites there also.

Yeah, yeah.

He's always causing trouble,

and all you other crazy knuckleheads over there that bother to show up.

We love you.

Thanks a lot.

All our guests stopped in tonight, Crazy Callers.

Thanks a lot.

I appreciate all the good calls we had from the numbers hotline.

Thank you so much.

I'd like to thank you especially.

That's right, our listeners.

We do this every night, every week, Thursday nights,

the most interactive show you can find right here on the Internet.

We ask that you just give us the time, bring a friend, better get.

We got the dime, and enemies are welcome as well.

Please stop in and see us every week.

I'd also like to thank you.

That's right, our fair money and our fearless leader of the Madhouse.

But we do without you, my brother, so much love for you, my brother.

That's right.

Wow.

Lies one call at a time, my brother of you, big man.

Wow.

Thanks, man.

All right.

So we're out of here.

Thanks to everyone.

Milkman, thanks.

Put them lonesome loser.

And all the people we prank call tonight.

Be sure to stay tuned in to Madhouse Radio throughout the weekend.

Tomorrow, I'm sure Jaiad will have a show.

Thank you, Maxie.

Yeah.

I'm sure tomorrow, Jaiad will have a show.

There will be a show there with a normal cadre of our friends.

starting around 10 p.m eastern saturday i'm sure there will be a show as well as sunday

saturday maybe brad maybe a little bit of aaron some of the other guys i redesigned the main

home page for madhouse radio try to make it more of a network instead of a show give me some

feedback let me know what you think okay i'm out of here take it easy and we'll catch you next week

Calls (27, 50 min of 1 h 51 min)

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