What Is ABDL?

Digging the world, digging the world, force.

98.6, hello.

Motherfucker, hello.

And a thank you, a thank you to you for joining Carlito tonight.

Yeah.

Milkman is here. Hey, Milkman, how are you, man?

Hermanito!

Quefue, quefue!

My brother, it's so good to hear your melodious tones back in circulation.

Had a brief hiatus.

And you're sounding well, my friend.

How's things been going over there in the head shop?

In the head shop?

The head machine.

Everything is great.

Thank you for asking.

Everything's just great.

So I'm talking about my man.

So it looks like there's going to be some fun to be had.

And I'm sure everybody out there has been waiting as anxiously as I have been.

Anxiously.

Yep, we've been waiting on our ankles.

Thanks.

That's right.

Anxiously.

All right.

Okay, we'll be taking your requests tonight.

I understand there are quite a few of them already that have been sent in, and that's good.

That helps out.

Be sure to send those over at madhouselive.com.

There's a website there, of course.

And you can send your Request a Prank requests.

That's redundant, but yes, you can send your Request a Prank submissions.

There you go.

Or you can submit your Request a Prank ideas.

I think that's the way I should say it, right, Milkman?

I'm going to type that up.

There you go. Suggestions.

They're really suggestions, some kind of premise maybe to get you to work to start with.

But that doesn't mean it's guaranteed. It's a suggestion.

What's your favorite nut milk, man? I'm eating walnuts and almonds mixed together.

Walnuts and almonds mixed together.

Those are actually, that's pretty good, man. That's very good for you.

It's got lots of omega-3s.

Yeah. You know what? Actually, I'm really a big fan of the almond.

and i'm also a fan of one that's not actually a nut the uh cashew but the raw cashew the raw

cashew i got raw almonds raw almonds they're not brown they're white and they're soft and sweet

the brown ones are roasted and they're usually salted and they're more like crackly you know

they're crunchier what's what's the so cashew is what is it a like cashew is the it's the um

fruit of a flower it's like where the flower down inside the little uh pistol i guess what that

that thing is, the pistil, it grows inside of there, and then as the flower and the leaves

drop off, and that fruit is left over, and they peel that skin off, and that's what you

have.

Okay, I didn't know that.

I didn't know.

Yeah, it's actually a flower.

It's technically not considered a nut.

So a peanut is a legume.

It's like a bean, basically, right?

It is, because it grows in the ground as well, but yeah, it is different.

It's in a different family, yes.

Now, what's the vegetable that's actually a fruit?

Is it tomato, or is it something else?

isn't isn't it considered a fruit yeah that's that's kind of weird when you think about it

right but tomato is considered a fruit yeah because of the seeds i think right the way

the seeds are the family that they come from okay it is acidic so i guess it's yeah it's

definitely got acidic yeah yeah and you know and also some versions of tomatoes are more acidic

than others yeah that's true a lot of people don't know that but like like usually like your

your beef hearts and stuff like that are actually lower in acidity.

Yeah, beef hearts.

Tomatoes, believe it or not, aren't too bad either, man.

They have a lot less juice.

They're kind of meatier, but they don't have as much acid.

They don't burn your stomach as bad.

Nope, man.

Beef hearts, I actually, they sell it bottled up, you know, the beef hearts,

and you can buy it and smell it.

You can, like, inhale the beef hearts.

Shit, man, that would be so cool, man.

And you take that along, you know, and, like, when somebody's really bumming you out, you know,

like, you, like, set the little bottle and just set it on, like, a little slow gap, you know,

so it just kind of, like, eases that out.

You don't squeak.

It just kind of, like, eases out and makes its presence known.

You know, you can just sit there and snicker in the background when you pull out your gas mask.

It smells like honey and shit.

I don't know.

A cow ass.

Honey-roasted shit turds.

Honey-roasted hooker turds.

Ever wonder what the ass of a cow smells like?

Well.

There you go.

This is from a four-legged cow, not a two-legged.

Okay, okay, good point.

Not a two-legged, a four-legged, not a heifer woman.

All right, I have Request a Pranks here, and we need to get to those.

Lonesome Loser is not with us yet.

All right-tay.

He's no longer with us, Lonesome.

He's dead.

No, he's...

No, now, don't do...

Man, be careful what you wish for, folks out there, because everybody knows we love our Lonesome Loser, man.

He is the numbers hits man

And as always please

All fists held high

Because he's our brother man

And we await his return anxiously

Lonesome Milkman

Lonesome when he dies

Is going to go to hell

Because he likes prank calls

And he does them

He helps out

Where does that put me then

I guess I'm in the deep spot next to you

We're all going to hell

All of the hosts

Everyone that does prank calls on Skype with us

And the other shows on Madhouse

We're all going to hell

Just admit it, it's a sin

They're raising hell here on the planet

So you get a glimpse of what's expected

I'm just letting you guys know

We're all going to hell

We can't walk

Madhouse, man

Corrupting and ruining society

That place is a horrible place

Okay

Here is a

We got a layaway program

Of course, the Holidays Milkman next week is our big Thanksgiving special show.

Holy shit, is it that time again?

Yeah.

Horse cock.

No.

Horse cock.

Horse.

That's a horse.

Thanks, horse.

Oh, man.

There's nothing like horsing around on Thanksgiving, is there?

No.

Horse around with us next Thursday.

My goodness.

Excuse me, God.

god i gotta play music when i eat my nuts because it um i'm like well at least at least you can do

it dogs can do it at least you can do it man you know i'm not that skilled okay yeah i got

flexibility and i'm very impressed all right milkman focus listen we got um a layaway program

here and uh brad carter has helped us out hooking us up with some numbers or customers who put stuff

on layaway today um now the great thing about this milkman is that um it's the holidays you

know coming up so people are putting a lot of stuff on layaway and apparently this store um

started their black friday sales early this year man i see you can this is this is an undisclosed

store but we're going to go ahead and participate in the layaway program obviously exactly yeah

Yeah, man.

Nice!

That's the way you do it, brother.

Yeah, so, anyway, about next week, I wanted to talk about something.

Next week, I wanted to see about us doing another 24-hour prank call marathon.

You're kidding me.

We did this last year for Martin Luther King Jr. weekend.

So, some of us have been talking, and I would start off, you know, 10 o'clock, I would start my show.

and every year we've done thanksgiving we've always gone to like three four in the morning

right because we've basically just sat around and drank it's just yeah right so you know what

you know there's gonna be a big kickoff i probably should think about you know taking the day off

oh okay well that's next thursday one week right yeah so then what we need is other hosts

to pick up the other shifts after that now i talked to dirty aaron about it i texted him

during the weekend he said he could probably fit in a three or four hour shift hey that's a brother

brad said brad said he'll he might be he's probably able to do friday morning so we can

get rid of that see how that works that's our brother right there all right step on up step

on up man ladies friends yeah so among the other monkeys too you know trained monkeys

He's going to untrain my...

You're all welcome here, man.

This is a madhouse.

So among other hosts, if we can fill up...

We've got to plan out the time.

Maybe we've got to get a Google calendar.

That sounds like it's overkill for one day.

Well, this is going to be a good project, man.

If we could all maybe pick three or four hour shifts that we can do.

I'll start off with the first one.

We can do 24 hours straight.

Now then, technically, if Giant...

We're going to come back on the following to close it up.

I could.

I don't know.

I might not be able to do it at that point.

Yeah, I know, because you've got work, right?

Your schedule's kind of more fixed.

I can flex a little.

But here's the other thing.

I was thinking, even if Jaiad does his normal show on Friday night, it would be 24 hours plus.

It would be like 28 hours, 27, 28 hours.

Well, that would be nonstop, dude.

This would be like the Madhouse Express.

Yeah.

I think that would be really cool.

So we only got a week to plan this out.

out now again i'll i am pencil me in for 10 to 4 i'll go into 4 in the morning you got it i will

go into 4 in the morning eastern on third on uh next week so all right i'll make sure to tell the

planning committee to pencil in the armando for 10 now the planning committee needs to get up to

speed rather quickly because we need to prepare so please notify carlito as soon as you get all

all your potential members in there well before Thursday next week,

well before Thursday,

and then that way we'll be able to have a great presentation

for our lovely audience and listeners and friends and fans and enemies.

Delicious.

Okay.

Anyway, so back to the prank call.

We're going to call the first.

We're going to call Big Misty.

I like it already.

He put some crap on layaway,

and I'm the manager who needs to do what I did last year.

I got a lot of shit I got to do.

I don't know if you were around for that one.

I don't know.

I'm not sure, but I know that it was probably a good one.

I don't have any.

That's when Jen told he was going to get shot, and Aaron got yelled at.

Is he around still, or is he still on hiatus, man?

Is he still practicing for the Olympics?

He's still practicing.

He was in the hospital recently, but he's doing good.

I talk to him at least once a week.

Maybe I can get him to come on next week.

I'll tell you what, he pulled a shoulder groin muscle or a forearm groin muscle.

It's brain banana, bro.

Huh?

Hey, I'm looking for Misty.

I'm calling from the layaway department at the store.

At the what?

I'm calling from the layaway.

She put something on layaway here, Misty Brooks.

Is she there?

Can you ask her if it was her?

At what store?

Okay.

You know, ask her.

Why?

Well, because we have a problem with the items and we need to get this train out or she's

Unless you want me to tell you what you're getting for Christmas, put her on.

What's your name, buddy?

I'll be up there in about five minutes.

What's your name?

This is Eddie.

Eddie, I'll be there in five minutes.

Bullshit.

And you talk to her husband, me, right now.

I'll be there in a minute.

You're not going to talk to me that way, partner.

Sounds like his sister.

Well, the name of the fucking place got out great.

I didn't tell anybody, dude.

It was very well disclosed there, covered up, man.

Yeah, we did perfect.

and that's right and it's the one in if you really want to know yeah he said go go go down there

right now i got dick in my mouth i'm gonna switch it over okay now i got room for you i'll be right

up there buddy wait till i leave the truck stop bathroom here i'm gonna come down there

that's what he said he had a whole mouthful of nuts he had to move over right and these ain't

macadamias either buddy yeah or chestnuts chestnuts can be actually oh hey you got a

Am I full of chin nuts over there, you asshole?

I'll be there in a minute, partner.

You know how you get nuts on your chin?

He's on his way, partner.

Homosexual partner to stay back there in his homosexual home.

He thinks I'm his...

He's just putting on, right?

The wife is a cover, man.

I mean, you know, man.

You know how it works.

Partner.

I hate that fucking word, partner.

The hell.

He's a real pussy because he should have said partner.

If anyone calls me partner, I'm like,

Like, insulae, I don't trust this person because they're backwards.

I'm just saying.

All right, here's Big Billy who put in, let's see, a four-pack of some shit.

Oh, Fruit of the Loom, Boxer Briefs.

Okay.

And something called an iFlash.

All right.

I'm going to be down there, partner.

You've been waiting all this time.

Hello?

Hey, is that Big Billy?

Huh?

Is that Big Billy?

You what?

Is this Billy?

That is.

is hey big girl yeah how are you i'm fine how are you oh i'm good sexy i saw you at the store

you what i saw you at the store you were buying the underwears you know you put them on layaway

some underwears yeah oh yeah who are the underwear for you what who's the underwear for that you put

on layaway for my grandkids you're gonna put underwear on them yeah you for christmas you're

You're getting them underwears?

Yeah, always do.

Nice, that's nice.

Do you get them any socks?

Yeah, I'm going to.

Do you get them any condoms?

Do you want to get them condoms?

No.

Or do you want to get them little magazines with pictures of women in bikinis?

Do what now?

Do you want to get them little magazines with pictures of girls in bikinis with them?

No.

Okay.

Do you want to get them like, why?

What's so funny?

Do you want to show them, like, pornographic, get them a pornographic movie as a joke, as a joke?

Do what?

You can get your grandkids a pornographic movie, but just as a joke, you know?

Is this one of my grandkids?

No.

Yeah, it's an animated cartoon.

Yeah, it's an animated cartoon, so it doesn't look real.

It looks real, but it's not real, you know?

I'm calling from Kmart.

My name is Eddie.

Your name is Eddie?

Yeah, you put something on layaway today.

No, I didn't put something on LayAway today.

Not today, I'm sorry, but you put the four-pack of Fruit of the Loom boxer briefs?

No.

Yeah, you did.

No.

Then what did you put on LayAway then?

Nothing.

Are you Billy or is that guy Billy back there?

Yes, I'm Billy.

Why do you have a boy's name?

I don't know.

That's the name I had.

You're really boring me, you know.

My real name is Billy.

Big Billy?

B-I-L-L-I-E.

Does anyone call you Biggie?

Do what?

Does anyone ever call you Biggie?

Biggie.

Anyone call you Biggie?

No.

Oh.

Not even like teasing you?

No.

Because the name I'm looking at is pretty close to Biggie, you know, Billy?

You got another telephone number?

Hello?

Hey, boy.

Hey, I got Billy.

What?

What are you doing?

What?

What are you doing?

What?

Who are you talking?

Who is this?

Who do you want?

No, it's just Billy.

Who are you talking?

What?

Who are you calling?

Who is this?

Billy.

Who's that?

I think you got the wrong number.

I think so.

Okay.

I don't think so.

No, this is the right number.

Well, who is that person?

That's Misty.

That's who?

Misty.

You know Misty?

No, I don't know a Misty.

Who is this?

Misty.

You know Jim?

What?

Do you know Jim?

No, I don't know Jim.

Oh.

And who is...

What is your name?

It's Misty.

What is your name?

Her name is Misty.

Misty, huh.

Well, what is she doing on the line with that?

What is your boyfriend's name?

Hmm?

What is your name?

Oh, I'm Eddie.

You're Eddie?

Yeah, I'm with the store.

I'm with the layaway.

With what?

The layaway at the store.

What store?

The, uh...

Yeah?

Yeah, that's where I work.

Yeah, but why are you calling?

Uh, just to say hi.

Okay.

How are you guys doing?

What else?

Hmm, you put stuff on layaway.

You put the, um, underwears on, right?

Yes, I did.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

For my grandkids.

I mean, that's what you get.

You don't get them any toys.

You get them underwear.

You know that's a bad gift.

No, I don't buy.

Their parents can buy them toys.

Toys are too expensive.

I buy them clothes.

Buy them underwear, yeah, because they can use it and wear it.

They shit and piss in the underwear, you know?

You what?

What is your last name?

Cross.

Claw.

Yeah.

How do you spell that?

C-R-O-A.

Well, I'm going in K-Mart tomorrow.

I'm going to find out.

Well, they shit and piss in the underwear, your grandkids, right?

They shit and piss in them, they ruin them.

Waste of money?

I think you shit about enough.

Uh-huh.

No, shit and piss in it, you know, their penises touch it and their ass and their assholes.

Tell me about the special sale on Fruit of the Looms.

Well, I think you're about half nuts.

Yeah, pretty much.

I'm eating nuts, as a matter of fact, right now.

Yeah, probably.

Yeah, yeah.

One on my way up to see you, too.

Well, why are you calling me?

I was going through the computer, and I was looking at people that got stuff on their way,

and I took a pack of walnuts off of the shelf without paying for it,

and I'm here eating and calling customers to see how you're doing, just to say hi.

Oh, okay, hi.

Well, I think I'm going to call Kmart right now.

Does your husband have big sexual organs?

You can go to hell.

Do you have big sexual organs, sir?

Hello, sir?

Hello?

Find out if she's got prolapse and she needed the pelvic mesh.

All right, they disconnected.

Let's hang up so they can call the store.

What the heck?

People don't even know what the hell they put on.

They were still connected.

I was thinking they were going to pick up and try dialing.

Milkman, I lost him.

I lost him.

Shit, I'm losing Milkman.

Milkman, don't go.

There you are.

Okay, sorry.

I did it.

That was me on an accident.

Okay.

All right, well, the old man does not have...

Hello?

Does he have big sexual organs?

Let me tell you something.

Yeah.

I don't want to hear no more out of you.

Okay, can I...

You're going to be potty-mouthed.

I don't want to talk to you.

I'm not potty-mouthed.

I got nice clothes.

You're going to be potty-mouthed.

Tell her you used up soap, man.

You don't have a potty mouth.

You're crying.

You're going to be potty-mouthed.

Okay.

We have more where that came from.

I don't want to hear anymore.

I hate you.

Satan, in the chat room, Satan, don't type in all caps, okay?

No.

No caps.

The Nunu Patrol will get you, carefully.

Don't do that, no.

Be good.

All right.

And if you're Nunu, well, I don't know what to tell you.

Here comes Big Wendy.

Hey, is that Big Wendy?

Yes.

How you doing?

I'm calling from the layaway.

You put an item here on layaway?

I did.

Okay.

And there seems to be a problem.

Now, we were horsing around back here in the layaway department.

Yeah.

And we took some food off the shelf, and we were eating it, you know, without paying for it.

And someone brought a few beers and marijuana cigarettes, and we knocked over a whole bunch of stuff, including your item.

Now, we don't know which one it is exactly, so I'm calling you to confirm.

Can you tell me what it is you got and, you know?

No, but I can call the store.

Why you can't tell me?

Because I'm not going to tell you.

Listen, we're back here horsing around.

We're going to get fired and in trouble, you know?

We're drinking and smoking marijuana, cigarettes, you know?

So can you please just not do that?

Please?

please well she was still there she was walking around marijuana cigarettes yeah now it's busy

oh no marijuana cigarettes holy shit tell this world to come into it's busy busy busy now oh man

well tell her then if she knows she's not gonna gonna comply then we're not gonna be able to

figure out what her stuff is and we're just gonna go ahead and cancel her uh cancel her day away

and then she's not gonna be able to get the money back because she did not comply yeah what was it

that we were doing last year where we were saying we were

horsing around and the stuff got lost and we didn't

know. Yeah, that's what it was. That's how we started.

Yeah, some kind of

playing football or something.

Layaway football. I can do the

here's an old Friday nights

by the fire prank premise where

we tell them there's a stupid bitch fee.

We can do that. That's fun.

Edith.

I guess, yeah, if you run out of

material, man, you can go to that avenue, bro.

Stupid bitch.

Waiting for it to ring. Come on.

What about the guy that's coming up to see you now?

Come and tell him that you had a hard-on.

You've been waiting and he never showed up, man.

Please leave a message after the tone.

Edith.

Hello, Edith.

Yeah.

Edith.

Milkman, you've got to put new batteries in your security alarm.

What happened?

It keeps beeping, your security thing.

Your smoke detector needs new batteries.

You don't hear it going, meep.

What smoke detector?

In your house.

I don't have a smoke detector.

Well, what's beeping?

Your head.

I don't know why.

What do you mean peepin'?

I don't know.

You got one of those...

The only thing I got on is TV in the background, but you should be able to hear that.

Hey, boy, how are you?

Are you still coming down?

Because I've been waiting.

Yeah, my dad's coming down.

Yeah, because we're closing in about 18 minutes.

Oh, cool, because he's going to come down and he's going to kick your ass.

Oh, you're a little asshole, aren't you?

Yeah, what the fuck are you going to do?

You're a little piece of shit.

You're a little homo.

You shit your pants.

I bet you shit in the toilet.

I bet you do.

With skid marks.

Yeah.

I bet you take a big...

What the fuck, you creeper?

You take a big, nasty shit in the toilet, kid.

At school.

I bet you go to...

This is some real racist, mother heller.

You shit in the toilet at school and everyone smells it.

Dude, you're a weird mother heller.

Mother heller.

Can I talk to your dad?

What's going on back there?

Hello?

Okay, there's some kid that picked up.

We seem to have lost him there.

Maybe we'll have to try that again.

I'm a weird mother heller.

Mother heller.

Is that a gay shit?

That was a young, aspiring homo.

You know, you have that.

There are a few of them out there.

Yeah.

Aspirations, great grandeur.

Danielle put a PS4 on my way.

Let's give them mothers a call.

Mother Heller a call.

Mother Heller.

Ooh, this is good shit.

Barry White.

Barry, Barry, Barry.

Yeah, fucking killer, dude.

It's got a lot.

Our call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

Five, five, five.

Seven.

Back on recording, got stuck there.

Aye, aye.

This is an asshole.

Man, I wish you could just check this.

Your call has been phoned.

Granddaddy Purple, yeah?

GDP, baby.

Mm-hmm.

Beautiful.

That's one of my favorites, bro.

It's hard to go wrong, man.

Here's Becky, who looks like she put a book,

Catching Fire on the airways,

so I guess that has to be the book.

I don't know.

And Surgeon.

Fire Soder.

DKS, Fabric Belt, Men's Jeans.

Tell her to get contact lenses instead of glasses and she won't be a fire starter anymore.

And a skeleton tee.

Is that a type of t-shirt, a skeleton tee, or does it just have a skeleton on it, I wonder?

Hmm.

Style.

Maybe it's a design.

Hello?

Is that Becky?

This is Becky.

Hey, Becky.

I'm calling from the store with LayAway.

I'm calling from the LayAway.

From, uh...

Okay.

All right.

You put some stuff on LayAway here.

We were horsing around.

we were doing a little you know we get in the back when the managers are gone at night

sometimes we play nerd football and you know so we knocked over a bunch of the layaway stuff

now we have the printouts you know so i got down what you got but i don't understand half of these

can you tell me what it is and i'll put it back in your bin um like what's what's skeleton t

it's a t-shirt has it got a picture of a skeleton on it um or is it it's a type of t-shirt it was

was a type of t-shirt but one of them had a wolf on it okay wolf t-shirt change t-shirts what did

they have on them wolf t-shirt oh here's purple purple i got that i think these are them then

they're all together i think these are them wolf t-shirt yeah okay and then men's jeans are these

these the size 56 ones no they were 30 34 34 or the size 56 for you or no no okay i don't have

anything 56 okay good good okay i got your belt now catching fire is that a book or what is this

yes and that's the hunger machine games hunger machines hunger machines it says hunger machines

on fire okay got that here all right so we're gonna have to charge you a fee because i'm having

to put these back in the bin it's uh ten dollars that's all it is but i have to put that on oh no

oh no you fucked up not me no hey wait you're not charging me ten dollars to put them back in the

bin listen if i could get in trouble for this because we were my problem come on i am not paying

for it if i just put the fee on i won't get we won't get in trouble some of us could get in big

trouble because they drug test after an accident and everything here you know i

don't care.

You are not charging me $10 to put them back in a bin

when it wasn't my screw-up, it was yours.

All right, and then I'm going to charge you a stupid bitch fee for $15.

What do you want?

You can charge me all you want for a stupid bitch fee,

but you will lose your job.

I'm not getting in trouble.

Because when I go in there to pay on it, I will.

You let them hear this phone call.

You know what?

I just canceled the layaway order on the computer.

I'm going to cancel it right now.

And you're not going to get your deposit.

You can't get your deposit back after it's been canceled.

I'm putting down that you didn't come pay for it in time.

Hang on.

Yep.

That's all right.

I still have my slip.

Doesn't matter.

Okay.

I just printed it out.

It says right here, cancel, layaway, cancel, return to stock, it says.

Return to shelf.

Oh, she hung up.

She ruffled broke up over 10 bucks, bro.

Holy shit.

Okay.

You don't think she needed that layaway, did she?

we got one of those companies that calls people telling them they're with microsoft support i saw

them on the news someone um one of those on your side reports came on uh on the local news today

and it's like a question from a from a viewer i and it was like yeah i got a call from microsoft

support and they took control of my computer for two hours should i be concerned it's like uh yeah

Yeah, I mean, seriously, if your computer is broken, you're the one that's going to call, right?

You're not just sitting waiting for a call to come in.

Oh, my computer is broken.

Let me sit here and wait.

You know what I'm saying?

Anyway, so this is one of those companies that does that.

Basically, they spam call people and they get someone who's gullible with a computer and they say, yeah, this is Microsoft.

We got an alert that your computer has a virus.

We need to help you fix it.

Are you kidding me?

this is great

all that is fucking hilarious

they send them to like a website

they tell them you know go to this website

and it installs a remote software

remote desktop

wow awesome

so you can help them with their computer

yeah and they say a bunch of bullshit

that's very helpful man

and they take over and they put marijuana cigarettes

inside the computer

right they got penises on there too

and you get arrested cause you can't have

penises or marijuana cigarettes

inside your computer milkman they go to google and search marijuana cigarette like that and now

you're in big trouble because you search for it okay moving right along let's call that number

here's a microsoft support they're really in india well microsoft support is in india they're mr

buddha buddha sent microsoft's an indian company what do you mean what are you talking about every

time i call them they're indian they're an indian company yeah and we're waiting i get those calls

on skype sometimes they just come up on skype saying you need urgent repair call this number

for help this number is not ringing the number says i don't think this is gonna work it's just

spinning and spinning buddha this don't work man you gotta test your numbers before you send them

dude okay big nova sent in a number to uh that they will be in and listening via tune in if you

prank this location i will be recording with my s3 okay so what can we do with that milkman we

can call for a goofy name yeah let's call for a goofy name charles how may i help you charles

what i've been waiting you computer call me and i've been waiting sorry i've been waiting on the

computer you call me saying there's problems with my computers hello hello you call me you said

There's a problem with the computer.

We called you up.

Yeah.

When?

You said the computer's not working.

You called me today.

Sir, I need to check the records.

And after that, I can give you the answer over there.

Okay, Bhenchod.

Sorry?

Are you Bhenchod?

No, sir.

Are you?

I need to check the records, whether you have received a call from us or not.

Okay.

Can I arrange a call back for you on the same number?

Are you going to call back?

Right, sir.

I'm arranging a call back.

You will receive a call back from us.

Okay?

Why?

Well, you can't help.

Okay, whatever.

It took a long time.

You're rather evasive there, I think.

It took, like, a long time to connect, dude.

And then he's, yeah, now he's got my madhouse on him.

Oh, shit.

Well, we'll see if he calls back, guys.

Damn it.

Thank you for calling Walmart.

Hello?

Hey, big girl, how are you?

Hello?

Hey, hello.

Yes, how can I help you?

Can you pay someone for me?

They don't have a cell phone.

They're stupid, and they don't have a cell phone,

and there's a problem here with this stupid baby.

Huh?

I have a problem with the stupid baby.

You have a problem with the baby.

Yeah, and the dad is there, and he doesn't have a cell phone, so can you please page him?

I need to talk to him.

Page who?

His name is Nova.

Who?

Nova Machine.

Yeah, hold that thought.

Bitch.

Hold that thought.

Yeah, because of this stupid name called Nova.

Asshole.

Thank you for calling.

Supercenter, how may I direct your call?

Yes, I need to speak to David, please.

David?

Yes.

Who's David?

David Koresh.

Okay, I think he died in that burning, you know, they did.

Oh, okay.

All right, let me write.

Okay.

I got it.

Okay, thank you.

You're welcome.

Okay, bye.

Who are those dudes that cut their nuts off, man, when that comet flew over?

What was it?

Who was this guy's name?

Remember he's bald-headed and he came on TV and he cut their nuts off and killed himself?

That was Doe.

Oh, and he was with something else.

David Koresh was the Branch Davidians at the...

Right, right.

But about that time, them other oddballs, I forget their name, the ball head dude.

He was saying they're going to cut the worlds over because of the comet.

Yeah, they're the ones, they killed themselves and they all had the Nike shoes on and all that.

Yeah, and they said they were going to this, that's their way of going to space or something.

Yeah, because the Shoemaker-Levy comet was flying by.

that was in 97 that was like five years later heaven's gate i think that's what it was what

was that guy's name the weirdo man he was like a robot he changed his name to doe i know the doe

doe just doe just doe d-o yeah that was his name a few of them got castrated yeah yeah they cut

their nuts off man i was like dang man that's hardcore yep yep i mean yeah you gotta keep those

away though man because you don't want people put them in their mouth they got like you know

They got to dispose of them.

Yeah, I'm surprised that she knew.

I mean, I know I was calling Waco, but she actually knew what I was talking about.

I know.

I'm surprised.

I thought she'd be ignorant, like, what are you talking about?

Yeah.

Oh, she knew.

She must have lived there all her life.

I'm sure that was big news when it happened in Waco back in, that was like 92, I think,

the Koresh thing.

Yeah, I know it was early 90s or somewhere in the 90s, and that ball, the ball hit dude

was somewhere in the 90s, somewhere near each other, but maybe not exactly.

The Heaven's Gate was like 96, 97, I think, yeah.

Was it Shoemaker-Levy?

No, it wasn't Shoemaker-Levy.

It was not.

That's the one that hit the planet a few years ago, hit Jupiter.

It was the other one.

Oh.

Halebop.

That's it, Halebop, yeah.

Halebop, that's what it was.

That's because I remember now, I remember, because that guy's name was Bopper or something

like that.

I was thinking Bop was his name.

That's right.

The Big Bopper.

And I up eight banks over there for the 2000s.

All right, moving right along.

The Big Bopper.

I like the Big Bopper.

all right looking for more numbers to call that was the walmart in waco

nova is there or was there and probably has no idea we call um someone was signing in st pete

call them please demand they change the racial sign or else what are you talking about cactus

oh he saw a bitch nigga sign in st pete today call there and demand they change the racial sign

i don't know what you mean why would they have a sign that says is it graffiti on the wall

I'm confused.

Okay, fine.

7-Eleven?

Yes.

Is that Indian guy there?

I need to talk to him, please.

No, he's not here tonight.

Can you write down a message for him, please?

Sure.

All right.

Which one?

Do you know his name?

They all look the same to me.

I don't know.

No, they're not.

They look the same, you know?

They look the same, so I don't know.

Then you need to stop by and give him a message.

What?

I need to stop by.

Dude, I'll book this.

I'm trying to quit mom-living, man.

man. He must have found those guys nuts.

Was he Mexican? He sounded like...

You want to fight a match away?

Hello, is that Carlos?

Who? Carlos.

Oh, Carlos, no. He's not working no more here.

Oh, no? Is Rodriguez there?

No. Lopez?

No. Gonzalez?

Martinez? Nope.

Who's this? Who are you looking for?

Mr. Patel?

Mr. Patel.

A very common Indian name. The only one that I know

off the top of my head.

That's the only one I know off the top of my head.

The other ones I can't pronounce.

So the other ones have like three consonants in a row.

Mr. Patel.

Okay.

Well, that was a 7-Eleven there where we have made racist assumptions and stuff like that.

Is that one like I'm on the avenues?

Let me see.

It doesn't say.

I don't have an address, buddy.

5-1-0.

Look it up.

You reverse search.

Hey, why don't you go there, Melfan?

Go there.

And I'll call and say there's a dangerous man.

He was prank calling you before.

He's there now.

There's not one too far from here, man.

Maybe you ought to call there and then I'll show up.

Tell him the guy coming in here, man.

Trying to sell milk.

That's the guy.

All right.

Well, in the meantime, here's a stoner named Jeremy who supposedly sounds like Tommy Chong

and lives in a house with anywhere between 8 to 12 guys at the same time.

And they all share a single toilet.

Apparently, he has a very funny voicemail also.

So if he doesn't pick up a list, we'll have that.

I don't know, man.

They share a bed.

Maybe one wears it one day, and then he gives it to the other guy.

That's 12, 11, number 10.

You share the bathwater, too.

You want to be the first one in the bath, man.

What's the big deal?

Hello?

Hey, you know, if you use a pool, you're sharing bathwater with everyone who goes to use the pool, you know?

You got the wrong number.

Is that Jeremy?

Yeah, it is.

Yeah, dude, I'm just saying, you know, if you ever think about it, man,

if you use a public pool, you're taking a bath in the same bathtub, bath water and everything.

This is Eddie.

Eddie Gerbiel.

What?

He's like, whoom, whoom, whoom.

All right, anyway.

I made a good point, though, Milkman.

Let's see if we can get his voicemail.

I want to hear his interesting voicemail.

He's sitting like big fuck.

Hi, this is Jeremy Molenski.

I'm not in right now.

Please give me a card.

Thank you.

There's his number if y'all want to call him.

I didn't find that funny

other than he gave out the number you just called.

He just gave out the number you just called.

I don't know. That's why it's funny.

Haha.

That was funny. Funny voicemail.

He was funnier than the voicemail.

That's for

Grithantaclops.

Alright. There you go. You got your call, man.

Thanks, Big Grithantaclops.

fanta klops all right well that's the picture we got a new voicemail that came in let's check that

out see what that sounds like maybe it's the homosexual that headed up to walmart man he

might be back hey buddy where you at man uh-huh yeah this i'm reading from the google voice

translate it says uh i'm a reporter to your local police department i'm a reporter to our local

Local police.

Okay, I think this guy is angry.

He wants to report it to the police?

The local police department.

Hang on.

He wants to report by his negligence that there's a restocking fee.

You've got to be kidding me.

I don't know who this is exactly that called back on this one, Milkman,

but let's listen to it.

All right, let's listen to it.

Hang on, I've got to turn the volume up on that.

All right.

See if we can hear it.

I hope so.

I report you to your local police department.

I'm with our local police department, and I'm also going to do the FBI because we know you're a scam.

So we will find you, and you will be prosecuted for this.

Have a nice night.

Oh, my God.

It's the redneck homo, man.

There you go.

There you go, folks.

We'll be shut down again very soon.

Once again, we'll be shut down.

All right, buddy.

Get him for it.

You're trying to scam him.

All right, so...

I love those fucking voicemails when we get them like that.

It's so awesome.

That's right.

You know what would be funny?

Like, take the calls, like, you know, the original calls,

and then later on, edit on their callback to the end.

Some episodes, if you look, no one really knows,

but at the very...

Not that nobody, but most probably don't catch,

there are some episodes where at the very end,

you'll hear a voicemail that came from a prank

in the show.

Oh, I will do that sometimes, yeah.

I haven't been listening to the stream for a while now, man.

Well, you know, I've been

having so many issues on mine.

It's not because I don't want to listen.

It's just I've been having so many bandwidth issues.

What little I have,

you know, I can't even use and listen.

This is a big deal for me to be able to connect to you.

It's few and far in between

when that happens, but it does happen, yeah.

I haven't done them in a long...

And only in the last year have I done it sometimes.

Or like, you know, like whenever they do, like if you do the edit, the single call,

I'm just saying, I'm not telling, I'm just thinking that would be hilarious, you know,

at some point in time to like put them back together, you know, so you hear the aftermath.

This is funny.

This is from the last show I did.

I was trying to make reservations at a steakhouse, but I wanted them to hide the knives and

not serve hot coffee because I was coming with my wife and I was going to be telling

telling her that I was cheating on her with her mom, I think, or something.

So one of them actually, I guess, took the reservation.

Here's that voicemail.

Hi, Mr. Cross.

This is Buka DiBepo.

We were just wondering if you're still coming in for your 7 o'clock reservation.

Okay.

If you guys are, please call back.

She called 19 minutes after 7 o'clock to ask if I was really coming in.

That was 20 minutes late at that point.

They were waiting for 20 minutes.

That's it.

Aw.

Yeah, she didn't wait that long.

Geez.

I mean, come on, man.

Yeah.

Let me see if I can find another one here.

Carlitos Select.

No, this is...

See, sometimes I get wrong numbers.

Hang on.

Oh, there was one that was really funny.

I don't know if I played the...

I guess I had some kind of conversation,

and the next day they called and said,

yeah, I understand you called,

and blah, blah, blah.

It was pretty funny.

Like, do not call here again.

Hang on.

The manager called the next day.

Yeah, I know this is a prank call, and I'm going to have to call the police

because that was unacceptable, what you did, and I said that to my mom.

Don't ever call again. Bye.

That was thoughtful of her.

Yeah, never call again. Bye.

She appreciated what you did for her mom, you know.

Please call again. There you go.

Another friendly service there.

I'm acknowledging the services that Matt has provided to the community.

I have no idea what I did.

No way.

I have no idea what I did or said to be honest.

There's no way you could have upset her mother.

I couldn't imagine you going, I am awesome.

God, I wanted to play that one, but I can't find it.

My phone was, oh, give me a few more seconds, I'll try.

All right.

Here's this guy.

Remember this guy.

Yeah, this is a guy with a truck.

If you're still interested, my address is 15G.

I'll be here all night.

My phone got shut off.

Blah, blah, blah.

We've already heard that one.

Here it is.

Milkman, I found it.

Listen.

The restaurant.

Hi, this message is from Aisha calling from Hummus House Restaurant.

I understand that you called the restaurant a couple of times last night,

didn't place an order, and talked to two of my servers.

I just wanted to let you know in the future we will not be filling any orders for you.

We exercise our right to refuse service to you.

The conversations that you had were inappropriate with the servers.

If you call back, again, I will give this phone number to our local police office and report you for harassment.

So please do not call our establishment again.

Thank you.

She's so nice about it.

Thank you.

That's so thoughtful of her, man.

Thank you.

She let you know how much they enjoyed your order, man.

I guess.

All right.

That's so thoughtful of her.

So we played a few of those, and let's move on here with Request to Pranks.

Now that we got more of them, here's Delaware sending in another 7-Eleven that's rated two stars on Yelp.

Tell the person to stick the biggest hot dog up their ass.

He recommends we tell them to stick a hot dog up their ass.

That's what I was going to say.

Hey, is that a 7-Eleven machine?

Uh-huh.

Oh, why did you just say hello? I didn't know.

Huh?

Why did you just say hello? I wasn't sure.

Yeah, 7-Eleven, how can I help you?

Is the Indian guy there? Indian?

Yeah, Indian.

Put him on.

I'm sorry?

Do you have Bhenchod there?

Yeah, we have.

You have Bhenchod? Do you have sister?

Hold on.

Okay.

Hello.

Bhenchod?

Yeah.

Tera Mari Bhenchod?

Huh?

Bhenchod.

Oh, good.

This is cross.

Huh?

I called to say Banshoot.

Thank you.

Okay, bye.

She was Indian, man.

I was too.

She was Indian.

I don't know who he was.

I know she was.

She was.

Yeah, she was.

That's why she handed it out.

Hello, can I...

Hi, is this Banshoot?

They're not going to...

I should have said something else, Milkman.

Something different.

Okay.

Moving right along.

Just put it on the, yeah, moving right along.

We'll put them on our list of friends to revisit in the future.

A number from Tabachi here called the Venus Garden Love Hotel.

It's run by a famous Swedish orgasm coach and her husband.

You coach someone in orgasms.

I do not be able to have an orgasm unless you're a stupid woman.

And that's your problem.

No one else's.

Okay.

Okay? Orgasming and more

is the name of the book. Let's give

them a call. This place is called

what is it called again? Venus

Garden. Okay. Venus Garden

is where

you go have orgasms.

Yeah.

God, that's loud.

They have another

number listed here. Let's try that instead.

God damn.

Oh, there we go again.

Fucking Europeans. This is in Sweden.

I think oh no it's in Wyoming

no it's Sweden

it says I have not enough Skype credit that must be

a cell phone

so we can't call that second number then

shit damn it okay well

here's a Popeyes

Popeyes milkman your favorite chicken

place after this lonesome

has sent in numbers numbers from

lonesome including his fetish

churches is very highly recommended

on my list too

they have great services there too

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I mean, it's a whole chicken.

Come on, damn it.

It'd be Popeye's as close.

There's a beep again, Milkman.

I heard it.

You're lying.

I heard it again.

I don't have a fire alarm, but I think I know what you're talking about.

Yeah.

Maybe it's your security alarm, then.

What do you got?

No, it's a stupid-ass fucking CO2 alarm now.

Now I know what you're talking about.

I just got so used to ignoring it.

Isn't a fire alarm a CO2 alarm, dude?

No.

What it does is it has an area, and it sees whenever particulate matter comes in there at very, very low concentrations,

and it considers that stuff smoke.

Okay.

Well, you need to put new batteries in that milkman.

Yeah, CO2 debt detector works differently.

It has a sensor that lets you know what it detects the level of it, and if it's not an appropriate level, then, you know, voila.

Okay, gotcha.

Here is Lexi, who is a prostitute woman on Craigslist.

This is from Lonesome Losers.

I'll say real quick, though, for the children out there, CO2 is heavier than air.

Oh, so, yeah, you can get high off.

Enjoy this Verizon ring back to one while the party is reached.

The CO2 comes in the room and starts to go.

It goes all the way up to the floor.

The people are still not being tested.

I got this for free.

Hey, Sarah, I need to call Julie's name and number.

It said Lexi.

Milkman, we couldn't hear what you were saying.

You said that CO2 is heavier than air

And then what now?

Yeah, it will

Fill up the room

From your toes first

And then you wouldn't know it until you bent over

Into where the cloud is

Mmm, gotcha

So that's why it's dangerous

That's why you should put your CO2 monitor

Maybe like knee high

So a lot of people don't know that

But anyway, there you go

There's your science lesson

Knee high

that sounds japanese um okay well that didn't work that last number i called so let's call a

dominatrix goddess who invites us to come worship the bitch of none what come worship the t oh the

ts bitch of none such i don't know what the fuck that means i'll make you tap out 24 and seductive

ebony wow okay yeah hey man that's good this is in arkansas and i'm looking for the number

well look at all the things this person does fetishes subslave training role play spanking

bondage humiliation sissy training what is that trampling medical play body worship and abdl what

is abdl i have no idea mommy auntie nanny i guess this person will dress up as a nanny you or a

mommy okay whatever i'm giving it a call what is abdl abdl abdl shit that's a new one

yeah is that a big girl hello yeah hey is that the ebony girl

yeah hey what is um i'm sorry for saying hey so much what's abdl

are you in dallas yeah you said what is what i'm in little rock oh no i'm in dallas i'm in dallas

okay but when you get back damn it what what is what is abdl oh man come on man i should have

said i was in dallas fuck right yeah and no i don't know what abdl is guys don't you can never

I never answered the question.

I still don't know what ABDL is.

All right.

Oh, here's a Domino's pizza in Didedo.

Asian, black, what?

I don't know.

Asian, black.

No, she can only be one race, Milkman.

ABDL.

Fuck.

All right, I'll get off of it.

I'll search for it on my own time on Porno Hub.

Here's a Domino's pizza in Guam.

Holiday Domino's.

This is a exciting video.

Would you like a special?

I like peck-peck.

Hello?

Yeah, I like peck-peck.

Can I get their number?

No, do you have peck-peck?

Hello?

I have the right number.

I have the right one.

I have a...

Hello?

I have the right number.

Is this Domino?

This is Domino's NCS, sir.

How can I help you?

I need one peck-peck.

What's up?

One order.

I need to make an order, please.

Okay, fine.

Sure.

Sir, order of a large pizza, a medium pizza.

Large pizza.

Okay.

Okay, hold the cheese, hold the sauce.

All the cheese and hold the sauce, okay.

Hold the crust.

Then that means that's no pizza, right?

Fill the box with stupid bullshit.

I'm sorry?

Fill the box with stupid asshole bullshit.

It's vegetables for a salad, you know.

Okay, I'm sorry, sir.

We don't, yeah.

Fill it with peck-peck and stupid Grom people and asshole bullshit.

Oh, well, what's your opinion, sir?

I'm a Marine, and I hate this place.

I'm a Marine.

I hate this place.

I'm calling Guam, so I say I'm a Marine.

I hate this place.

Yeah, that makes sense.

It does.

So, yeah, you said hold the, what you said, hold the sauce, hold the cheese,

and then hold the dough.

That only leaves vegetables and a salad.

Vomiters.

one order please one bread one cheese we lost her one bread okay it's stupid oh boy i had a

morning show recently milk band where i called uh like a diner and i kept saying like one eggs

she's like how do you want your eggs cooked okay how do you want them cooked cooked how with heat

she uh got mad and then the guy some guy came on and i started asking for eggs and then

i asked for one bread he's like bread how how do you want the bread i forgot i forgot what i said

how i wanted the bread i forgot like what kind of bread i forgot what it was i said that was a

funny time milkman you should have been around but you're busy sleeping with your c-pad machine

and smoking when was it dude what was this what time was it what day smoking uh

Uh, Grand St. Pierre, whatever it is, GSP.

GDP, Granddaddy Purple, remember that.

Ready to pick up, this is Tisha, how can I help you?

Yes, uh, let's make an order, please.

For pickup or delivery?

For pickup.

Pickup, may I have your phone number?

Uh, 632-3030.

Uh-huh, 3030?

Yes, and I'm a Marine, do I get a discount?

Marine?

Yeah, I'm a Marine in the Marine machines.

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

Okay, goddammit, I'll make an order then.

Okay, what did you want to order?

One bread.

I'm sorry?

One bread.

Bread?

Yeah, one bread.

Okay.

Anything else?

One cheese.

Uh-huh.

One sauce.

Uh-huh.

One crust.

Okay.

One horse machine.

Okay.

One butt four.

Anything else?

Uh, one peck peck.

I'm sorry?

Peck peck.

Okay.

Okay, can I get a...

Anything else?

Can I get a total?

No, that's it.

Oh, no charge.

Thank you.

You stupid motherfucker.

You'd think there was some drunk Marine on the base over there.

Let's call Pizza Hut.

No charge for Peck Peck at the Pizza Hut in Guam.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

They got two Pizza Huts in Guam, Milkman.

Can you believe it?

Wow.

There's another one here.

This one's in, it says Exchange Main Store.

I'm guessing that's on the base itself.

It's in the food court at the Navy Exchange.

Exchange.

Yeah, you got to have a card.

You got to be a military personnel to get in there.

Yeah, so that's U.S.

I'm going to tell them I'm pissed off they didn't let me in and excuse them.

They may send a recruiter after you.

Be careful.

A recruiter.

Yeah.

We'll throw you in jail or you join the Marines.

We'll induct you in the Army forcefully.

Hey, boy, listen, I tried to go to your place over there,

and they refused me service.

They refused me to get in and everything, and I'm in a wheelchair.

Why is that?

Excuse me, sir?

I couldn't get in.

I couldn't get into the food court.

they refused me service did you want me to speak to a full court manager well this is on the

exchange right this is the uh this is uh pizza hut sir we're in the indicated in the full court

area yeah in the exchange the military exchange yes uh yes anderson that's not fair because i'm

not in the military i went to i went to the base and i jumped over the fence and everything and

they caught me like this humvee came up and it had like a spotlight on me and everything and

and they're like, put your hands up, like that.

And I said, I just wanted to go to Pizza Hut.

Okay, so what is your question, sir?

Well, it's not fair.

I want to sue you.

You want a pizza?

I want to sue you.

Sue who, Pizza Hut?

You personally and Pizza Hut, yeah.

For, hold on, sir, let me get the manager.

Okay.

That is the Pizza District speaking.

Yeah, I need all your information and your numbers.

For, in regard for?

I'm going to be suing you because I'm going to talk to my lawyer

because I tried to go to your store

and they told me that I didn't have a right

to go to the Pizza Hut

because I wasn't military, they said.

Yeah, because that's...

That's not fair.

For that one, though,

you were not...

That's not on to us.

That's on to the government property, that's why.

No, they said that they don't...

That Pizza Hut doesn't want you here, they said.

And he shoved me in the chest

and he said the pizza hut doesn't want you here

and he put a gun in my face

and everything

he's probably going

there's a man talking about a gun

oh shit

maybe I shouldn't be saying that

people don't get so scared when someone says

someone's calling me about shoving me in the chest

I found the battery so I'll go put it in

it doesn't bother me

I'm just saying that's really getting

this isn't recording

No, it'll be on the show, so I'll go put it in.

It's really ghetto.

I'm just saying it's really ghetto.

Oh, yeah.

I don't want to interfere with the show, man.

We could add in the sound effect later.

Hold on.

Well, there was a prank on Friday.

I think it was somebody, a game show contestant, was dealing with one of those in the background.

It was real annoying, and I was so mad.

We're waiting here for the military police to get word about what I just said.

And I don't know.

We'll call someone else in the meantime.

How about that?

Let's call CPK, California Pizza Kitchen, or CPK as I call it.

Hello?

Thank you for calling.

Hello?

What's going on here?

What's the matter?

Sorry, I'm sorry?

What's going on here?

I'm waiting on the phone.

What's going on?

You are waiting.

Okay, the phone was given to me by one of my supervisors.

Can I help you, sir?

How many supervisors?

Are you a supervisor, too, or are you just a woman?

Okay, I'm one of the managers here, too.

Okay, and what's the problem?

I said that I need the personal documents.

I need all your numbers and papers.

Okay, may I know what is this, sir?

I'm suing you and your staff and your store because I wasn't allowed to come into the food court onto the exchange because I'm not military, they said.

The guards said I had to get out.

He said get the F-U-C-K out.

he said okay this is at the gate at the front of the um the food court at the gate he pushed me and

everything and he put he put the the radio he called the radio and they put a spotlight on me

and he said he was going to pull down my pants and everything in front of everybody he said he's

going to search my asshole for drugs and weapons and all this stuff he said i couldn't come in

because i'm not military and i just want a pizza hut i put pizza hut at my gps and it told me to

to go here, to your place, and when I got there, they said that I wasn't allowed, and

that's not fair, that's discrimination, because I'm not from, I'm not Asian, I'm not from

this country.

Okay, sir, I understand that, but you are aware that you have to have an ID or someone

sponsoring you before you can get on base.

That's not fair.

Okay, if that's the case, I don't think Pizza would be, you know, the one to handle that

that case i can give you a phone number of the security um no but it doesn't say that on your

pizza hut website that i need special things to get in that i can't be a white man getting in

there it doesn't say that okay because the pizza hut doesn't have a policy on that but the police

does yeah so then it's not a control then you're operating in a gray area and i don't know if you

know the different treaties when it comes to business in the united states but you can't do

that okay there's another there's another pizza hut that's outside they told me i can't go there

because i made sexual comments on the phone and they said i'm not allowed there the one outside

yeah so you already called them or you already went to that to that place i already like i made

sexual comments and stuff i was making a silly order that i wanted one bread and they hung up

and they won't pick up now when i call so you know what i can give you a phone number that you can

um that you can uh that you can call who it has to be a part of the you know part of the race

if that that is the problem getting in on base but they're not gonna let me on they said it said

it's a they said that i'm not military and i said no means no they said there's no way to get on

shit damn it there's no way to get on this shit there's no way to get on the shit motherfucker

you know okay but sir you are aware that anywhere in the united states if you are if you don't have

I jump over fences and stuff all the time.

I'm sorry?

I jump over fences and stuff all the time.

And anyway, you're not in the military.

How come it's fair for you?

Because you're Asian, right?

Because if I had yellow skin, then I could get in, right?

If I was a bad driver, right?

Okay, sir, I don't think this is my issue now.

Okay, I can give you the phone number if you want to, if you want to contact that number.

But I don't think this is something that, you know, that is to be handled by me because I'm just over here.

Do you know those people at the other Pizza Hut?

I'm sorry?

Do you know the people at the other Pizza Hut?

Yes, I do.

Can you talk to them if I connect and you tell them that it's okay for me to come?

If you are, you know what, I don't really have to call them.

All you have to do is go there and tell them, you know, you're going to be buying a pizza.

No, they said no.

And I don't think they would defuse you.

They said no.

They said no, that I was a bad person, they said.

Because of the thing I said.

I said a bad, dirty thing to them.

Because I got mad.

You know what I'm saying?

Yes, I do, but I don't think they're saying that to you.

They don't like me.

They don't want to have anything to do with me, they said.

Did you call a goat?

You see, they won't answer even.

Thank you for calling, Daddy-do-Pizza.

This is Lainey.

How may I help you?

you i have the woman the manager from all the pizza huts in guam and she says that you have

to take my order right you said can you tell her hello i'm sorry okay one more okay okay hey

pizza hut woman hello manager yes sir what what's your name here what's your name what's your name

okay are you saying that they refused you because they said you were a bad person well can you tell

Tell her to just let me...

What's your name?

Tell her.

She's your manager.

You can order her.

Come on.

Okay, they have said that there could be a reason for it.

I'm not saying you're, you know...

Hello?

Yeah, I'm here.

Go ahead.

You're saying there's a reason I'm a bad person, you think?

No, why did I say that?

I mean, I mean...

Because I called and I made sexual comments on the phone.

Okay, so that is why.

Oh, you think so?

Well, can you just, can we just tell them to forgive me and all that?

And, you know, I can get an employee discount and they don't, you know, they'll talk to me again.

Just explain it to them.

That's what I'm asking you for help, to explain it.

Why is it so hard for you to do?

Why?

You know what?

Why is it so hard?

Okay, let me just tell them what is your contact number.

I'll call the manager and I'll have them call you.

I'm calling them now.

What was your name?

Just tell them who you are and what's going on.

Try to figure this out.

Please?

I need to speak to the manager first

Let me give him a call and I'll call you back

If you can give me your phone number

I'm connecting them

Don't go anywhere, I'm connecting them

They'll pick up any second now

And we'll continue with this phone call

Hopefully it'll be good, you know

They take a long time to answer the phone, you know

Are you listening to me?

Hello, is that Pizza Hut?

Your party is not answering

Please try your call later

We're sorry, but your call will now be

See that? They don't even answer now

They won't talk to me.

Okay, so according to you, you made, you know, some comments that it's not.

They were sexual in nature.

They were about pubic hair and vagina and all that.

Then I asked her how much pubic hair she had.

Okay, that is not acceptable.

And right now, I don't think that, you know, I think this is a waste of time.

No, it's not.

I'm going to try one more time.

I'm going to call a different place.

How can I thank you for calling Pomp and Circumstance?

This is Jay speaking next to you, especially for today.

I had the manager from the pizza hut at the exchange on the base on the line,

and she has something to tell you.

I have someone from the pizza hut who has something to tell you.

Go ahead.

She won't talk.

She's a stupid.

All right, I hung up on everybody except for Milkman.

What was that in the background?

It sounded like they were fucking.

She sounded like she was getting plowed.

Okay.

Milkman, I believe you're still here.

Did you fall down?

Maybe he fell down putting the new batteries.

She had an unbalanced spin cycle.

Okay.

Okay, you got to evenly put in your clothes evenly and put your jeans and your heavy stuff

towards the bottom when you wash clothes.

Thank you.

California Pizza Kitchen, as I was saying before, and I never got to.

Here it is.

I'm bored of my show.

It's only 1143.

Really?

We just hit the halfway point.

We're only 15 minutes into the second half of the show.

Oh my God, I hate this.

I'm going to do four hours next week.

I'm already bored of my show this week.

Hey, Big Girl, how are you?

Hello?

Hey, is that Big Girl?

The Big Girl?

What Big Girl?

The Big Girl that works there, you know?

The Big Asian Girl.

Do you know the name?

How big are you?

Hmm?

How big are you?

I'm not big.

Only 117.

Oh, is there someone bigger than me?

Can you put Janelle on?

Dada?

Yeah.

I would say.

Yeah, yeah, put her on.

I need to talk to her.

Actually, she just left.

Fucking shit.

Yeah.

Sorry.

It's bullshit.

It's kind of bullshit, you know.

Do you know the people at the other California pizza kitchen?

All right.

Can you tell them that it's okay for me to get food there?

Because I called before and I made sexual comments, you know.

Let me just transfer you to the manager's office.

Ah, damn it.

Okay.

One moment, please.

Okay.

One moment, one moment.

Hurry up.

Hey, it's Jerry speaking. I'm all for you.

Hey, buddy. How are you?

I'm sorry? How am I? I'm okay. How are you?

I'm not good.

You're not good? Who's this?

This is Cross. I made a... You know that place Vitalis?

One more time.

You know that place Vitalis? I went to a different restaurant, and they said that I couldn't go there again because I was making sexual comments to the waitress and everything.

You're talking about TPK?

Yeah, I was making...

California Pizza Kitchen?

Yeah.

Someone said that you can't come here anymore?

Because I was making sexual comments.

I don't know.

I'm the general manager.

I don't know anything about that.

Well, can you tell all the women that I can go there because I was making sexual comments

to the girls there and they kicked me out?

I mean, is that what you did?

Obviously, I didn't know about that, but is that something that you did or what?

I might have, yeah, maybe.

And you think that's wrong?

Well, because I'm married, that's the only reason, maybe.

other than that i gets mine you know it brings the ruckus so i don't care i don't know yeah so

so you know i i um you know obviously uh you know you don't want you don't want some people

talking like that about your wife right so obviously the girls will probably feel the same

well i don't know i don't know i don't really i don't know i don't know about anything about

my wife you know because she's in the mainland she's in the mainland yeah oh i see i see

yeah but but uh so uh what my uh my staff they kicked you out yeah they said they said you can't

say sexual comments and then i started um but um um buckling my belt and they kicked me out

they said they were buckling your belt yeah they said they were going to call the mps and all this

stuff uh-huh yeah yeah okay well you know i mean obviously that that wasn't nice to do right well

i was i wasn't unbuckling my belt like i was going to take my pants off i think that's what

what they thought i was taken off the belt to show dominance because they were all women and

i was gonna you know like you're gonna make this well you know when you snap the belt you know so

it makes a noise that's all we're gonna do i was like you know you want this you know like you want

to get hit i mean obviously that's not nice to do i know it was just a misunderstanding i think

they thought i was taking off my pants to masturbate or something like that you know

yeah or to show them my sexual organs but i wasn't doing that i was just gonna hit them

and abuse them physically.

That's not nice either.

Well, that's how I was raised.

That's how I was raised.

I was raised in Virginia, you know.

Okay, well, you know, this is a call.

What?

Hello?

What?

Yeah?

Yeah, this is a call.

I'm calling.

I had to call someone else because you're not helping me out.

Well, yeah, you know, I apologize for any misunderstanding,

but, yeah, you know, I mean, it's some things like that,

and my staff feels uncomfortable, you know.

Hello?

This is Vitalis from Tron.

This is, I'm sorry, where is this?

Vitalis.

This is, where is Vitalis?

Are you trying to call?

Yes, yes.

Are you trying to call?

Yes.

Oh, so.

Yeah.

Hello?

Okay, I'll talk to you later, my friend.

Hello?

Hello.

Hi.

Vitalis?

Yes, this is Vitalis.

I wanted to make an order.

For a pickup?

Yeah.

Oh, did I hang up the wrong one?

Fucking fuck, I did.

Hung up the wrong one.

And, uh, busy?

Is he? Okay, try it again.

Come on.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, hi.

I was saying I want to make an order.

Okay, go ahead.

Okay, one pasta.

What kind of pasta?

One pasta.

Yeah, what kind of pasta?

Boiled.

Sorry?

Boiled.

I cannot hear you.

Boiled pasta.

What kind of pasta?

Boiled with water.

Boiled water boil.

Water pasta.

Water pasta?

Yeah, boiled.

No, we don't have that kind of pasta.

You don't boil all your pasta?

You just eat it dry?

No, no, no.

We boil, but...

Okay, one of those.

Okay, so what kind of pasta do you want?

One pot.

We have spaghetti with meat sauce,

but they boil first, the water.

Boiled pizza.

Boiled pasta.

What kind of pizza?

Cook, oven.

Hello?

Yeah, I need one oven pizza.

Of course we put our pizza in the oven,

but what kind of pizza do you want?

Just one of them.

Oven.

One oven pizza, yeah, with toppings.

Okay, what kind of topping do you want?

Uh, meat.

Meat, Roma? So you want meat, all meat, topping?

Oh, just meat. No, just one meat.

What kind of meat? We have pepperoni, ham, sausage.

Small little pieces of meat.

I'm sorry, sir, I cannot take your order.

Uh, you don't have small pieces of meat, then?

We have, but you have to tell me what kind of meat you want on your pizza.

Uh, man meat.

Hello?

Yeah, man meat.

Man meat.

Hello?

I cannot hear you.

Man-meat! I need man-meat!

Something wrong with your phone.

No, there's nothing wrong.

Man-meat? Can I have man-meat?

Man-meat, bitch!

Fuck, shit, fucking, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck.

...

I wanna make an order!

Shut up, I'm gonna make an order.

Yeah, I wanna make an order. Shut up.

Hello? Yes?

Hello, sir?

Yes.

Yes, how may I help you?

Okay, somebody's calling us to make an order.

Order for takeout?

Yes.

Okay, what is your order, sir?

Are you asking me that?

Hello?

Yeah, can you hear me?

Yes, sir, I can hear you.

Okay, now, are you asking me to make an order?

No, I'm just asking how can I help you, sir?

This is the Capriccio's restaurant.

Oh, that's strange.

This is the Italian's restaurant.

So, I don't know, maybe somebody's playing a joke on us.

Maybe.

Are you still there?

Yes, sir.

I'm sorry, but I really can't understand you.

Okay.

Can you speak for me, please?

It sounds like a third party there.

Huh?

Who, me?

No.

I'm here.

Did you need to talk to me?

Okay.

Well, this is Vitaly, so I'm going to hang up as we close at 3.

I was calling Vitaly's, and they have Capri Chiosa also.

Oh, Vitaly's?

Okay.

This is not the Vitaly's restaurant, sir.

Yeah.

Yeah, you are Capricosa, right?

Yeah.

Okay, so who are you trying to order from, us or them?

I'm trying to order from you.

I'm from Capricosa.

Okay, because you have three lines going on right now.

Oh, yeah, I disconnected her.

She's a stupid woman, you know?

Oh, okay.

So we closed at three, so if you're going to order, you have to order now.

Okay, one pasta.

Okay, so what kind?

Boiled.

What kind of spaghetti?

Boiled.

What's that?

Boiled.

You want like a spaghetti meat sauce?

You boil it in water.

I don't understand why this is so hard.

Any one order of pasta is all set and ready to go.

One order of pasta with sauce.

Okay.

One meat.

Okay, so one spaghetti with meat sauce.

Yeah, one starch, one vegetable.

What do you mean vegetable?

Yeah, vegetable, you know, that grows from the earth.

You don't have the vegetables to go.

Okay, one starch.

What do you mean starch?

a starchy food starchy calories we don't we don't have that this is an italian restaurant

oh i need two weight watcher supplement drinks we don't have those okay i don't know i am at

a loss i don't know you're not helping me out you know have you ever ordered from here before

no i don't even live in guam i don't i'm i'm i'm not sure you don't live in guam no i'm in florida

florida yeah oh then how are you supposed to get your food then i'll just make it an order

Or I'd show up a few days or something.

Are you kidding me?

No, no, no.

No, I can't do that.

Oh, okay.

All right, sorry.

All right, bye.

I'm kidding.

That guy's having a good old time with the whole thing.

Good.

Good for him.

Oh, my.

One starchy vegetable milk, man.

Starchy food.

And two Weight Watcher meal supplements.

All right.

That was funny because I got the two confused with each other for a good while.

Well, I got that one to work.

That was pretty good.

Oh, man.

These people here are really cooperative, too.

I mean, it's really cool.

I mean, that guy was practically giving you excuses to not have to deal with it, you know?

It was so funny.

I know.

Yeah, he was.

The manager guy, you know?

Yeah, he really was.

All right, Delmonico Kitchen and Bar.

Because, you know, it's sensitivity training now.

You know, you're supposed to act on anything.

Really?

Yeah.

Is that how it works?

Well, you hear about it, so, you know.

You didn't want to deal with that shit.

All right, listen, we got another voicemail, Milkman.

Let's go ahead and listen.

Oh, my goodness.

Well, there's people just really...

I think this is a different one of the layaways.

Let's listen.

Giving us accolades again?

Yes, I was just wondering, you had called the phone from this number,

and I just want to get to the bottom of what's going on.

Please call me.

You're welcome.

I don't know if you could hear that, Milkman.

It was kind of low.

No, it was very low.

Very low.

What was it?

uh just a guy saying you called my house phone from this number trying to get to the bottom of

what's going on i think it sounded like a husband of the one broad that i called yeah the the one

that i what is it what did i say the fuck what the fuck what was the last one i did where she

she said real quick oh the stupid bitch fee that's what it was yeah yeah yeah oh that's the

one there yeah the stupid bitch fee one no i was gonna charge her a ten dollar fee she's like oh

Oh, uh, that's your fuck-up.

Alright, now remember.

Okay, someone's wanting to buy a fixer-upper cabin

or old two-story farmhouse

with at least two acres of pasture and privacy.

Alright, yeah, let's do that, Milkman.

Alright, yeah.

Let's sell someone a fucking cabin.

I'm gonna tell them it smells like mildew.

It smells like ice.

I can't get the smell of ass out of here,

so I'm selling it to you.

Sorry, I'm stalling because I've got a little bit of an issue

because he posted his number in the newspaper here,

but he didn't put his area code.

There we go, I got it.

I just had to look at the other ones and see what they were.

I think I got it.

It must be a small town because half of these postings,

they don't use their area code.

Hello?

Yes, I see that you're looking for a fixer-upper cabin.

Yeah.

I got one.

I've got four acres of horse.

You know, we masturbate the horses here and everything.

Uh-huh.

Is this for you or for a man?

Oh, it's for you.

Oh, just for you.

Do you have any horsies?

Yeah, I have one right now.

Oh.

I did have two.

How big are his sexual organs?

Oh.

Boy, she was quick to go run off

and measure it, wasn't she?

See, I probably woke her up for that.

That's hilarious.

You were running right off to get the measuring tape out, man.

I'll be darned.

She was like, uh, oh, fuck.

Well, that was good.

You just cut right through the chainsaw, man.

You know?

That's exactly where she's got to go now.

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

Now remembering the

riding a washing machine joke.

uh prank calls that i did and i don't know when that was that was a

that was in during october at some point were you around for that one milkman it would have

been a nice show i think which one was it i wasn't i calling women and just asking them if

they like to ride the the laundry machine oh yeah yeah yeah it was i remember that one

that was a night show that was funny yeah oh yeah because i told the woman like i wanted to drink

Drink her laundry water.

Yeah.

And she was like, oh, yeah, come on, yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, she was pretty encouraging.

I'm sorry, but the person you called has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet.

It's a piece of shit.

All right.

Well, that went straight to voicemail.

Let me try it again.

Maybe just a poor connection.

I'm sorry, but the person you called has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet.

Nope.

No, that was legit.

Okay.

Blank synthetic bolt action factory scope.

Scope, this guy has a gun, Milkman.

He's probably a hothead, right?

You think so?

This is Big Tony.

Big Tony.

What's a character in The Simpsons?

Big Tony.

Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system.

God damn.

All right.

Fucking Big Tony.

Let me try him again.

Your call has...

Nope.

Someone has some tires for sale.

They're size 222-60-17s and asking $100.

Also looking for some pants off of a parts off of a Saturn 2001 power window.

So you're a Stratus.

You got a Stratus.

It's the same.

A Stratus and a Jupiter.

A Jupiter.

A Saturn.

Tell me, yeah, you used to work with strippers.

and, you know, you can interchange the parts, man.

Most people don't know that, you know,

unless you're in auto theft.

You just drink.

Auto, you know.

Yeah.

Oh, I found a perfect one.

Milkman, close your mouth.

Here's one that's going to be great.

If they answer, it's an ad by a guy named Tyler

who says, quote,

looking for anyone who wants to get rid of coons on their land.

Okay.

I don't know exactly what to do.

this will be a racist call

just presuming

we need laugh track Matt for this one man

but he's crazy now

he's crazy he got into this sexual

game with his girlfriend Europe

yeah hi I was

calling for Tyler

he said he could get rid of coons on my

land

alright god damn it

who is this

this is Eddie

I'm sorry go ahead

alright god damn it

You're all right.

Shit.

Why did I do that?

Why?

I just had to be a dickhead.

Hang on.

No, no, no.

She was going to wake up.

No, they're not answering this time.

Shit.

Damn it.

Well, I had to go ruin another prank call.

I even got one save when I said, I'm sorry.

I had to do it again.

I had to push it one last time saying, God damn it.

All right.

Uh, here's a garage sale where they will have, uh, what is this?

They're selling a sofa and loveseat Wii, a Nintendo Wii with 16 games, a riding lawnmower, clothing, and more.

All right, cool.

Let's see what's up with Big Sandra is having a big yard sale, foreclosure sale.

Yeah.

You know it's a foreclosure sale when they're selling their fridge and their stove, Milkman.

That's horrible.

That's true.

Aw, man.

No answer, man.

I'll try them again.

Oh, it said phone network error, so I'll give it another shot.

Boiled pizza.

I did say at one point boiled pizza.

Who ever heard of such a thing?

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

Or is not available.

I got some interesting feedback regarding my question on the stream issues and quality

uh in the last few days thank you for the feedback i've made a note of these feedbacks

and we'll handle them appropriately on the madhouse shellcast machine in the meantime

the mixler is really taking off milkman mixler is like this alternative to shellcast that came out

it's really low on the resources i don't know if you can't it doesn't work on the android they're

working on the app but they haven't gotten it working yet there is the iphone app and then

you can also go to the website milkman check out mixer you know there's a lot of internet radios

and i notice it doesn't use as much band it's more stable mobile if you're listening and if

you're broadcasting with it so i'm just saying mixer is like the future we shall see m-i-x-l-r

boys the boys you were the boys you're really low milk me milky

no no no i was saying nothing man okay don't say nothing yeah mixler that's the future is what i

was saying big baz is here he's a big fan of mixler and an early early contributor i'm an

early adopter early contributor there you go yeah it's been uh great i like it yeah man it's great

i like how it just starts up um as soon as you start broadcasting whoever's got the little widget

it on it just starts up you know yeah i'm i made a mixler account and downloaded the app but i'm

having some issues getting skype to stream through it i'm on a laptop so i need to work through that

okay it's it's not you can't hear your skype call or what's going on yeah i mean when i'm

broadcasting uh i can hear myself talking but i can't hear anything on skype yeah what you got

is your input's selected to your microphone.

Yeah.

And it needs to be hooked up to your stereo mix

is what it's called.

Yeah, so I don't have a sound card on my laptop,

so I don't know if I can do that.

I might have to use that virtual audio cable.

Well, even if you don't have a sound card,

you should be able to go to the manufacturer's website

and get the software.

All you need is software to enable it, really.

Or just a driver to enable it.

And usually if you go to the Dell side or the HP

or whatever you're working with,

you can download that and get it working.

and it's either going to be a real tech or whatever the other one is milkman do you know

what are the two big ones real tech and adis and i forget i don't know i always i always end up with

a real tech sound card or a motherboard with real tech on it so there you go yeah i got a little

actually i was putting together a guide that that um should walk you through the majority

of the way of figuring out how to do it um let me send it to you i just don't know how good it is

you know what i mean but i started making it once uh yeah that'd be great yeah i'll send it to you

and or if you want to put it on the drop box you know that'll work too okay i'll do that after the

show i'm gonna make myself a sticky note here i gotta call milkman and i got to upload document

about audio mix okay cool and he was thinking about the stream i was i was online yesterday

yesterday the whole site seemed to be down for me for about two hours was there a problem the site

no i don't think so yeah i don't know maybe it's just on my end but you know enigma said that he

didn't see any problem i don't know i don't know you've been having some weird dns issues though

baz i think because you had a chat problem too right yeah yeah and i think what you looked at

the site didn't go down i didn't see anything that it went down no and he said it was cool

anyway it happens sometimes who knows it came back there you go very good all right let's do

some more pranks let's see what i got here uh lonesome has sent in a whole bunch of numbers

including indian places they're always fun i was gonna ask you carlito can you uh hook up your

uh dropbox to the mixler uh like an onomat i don't know i i see that you have the there's

an export option right yeah and you need to set it up so you can export shows it makes downloading

to them a lot easier oh okay yeah i'll do that let me put that down dropbox m-i-x-l-r d-b-m-i-x-l-r

should be able to figure out what that meant an hour from now okay all right yeah that works that

works i guess that's kind of cool i just i get worried about unedited stuff getting out like

crazy but does it dropbox it to a to a private folder or a public one no it'll be in a private

it and it'll only do it if they do it so like click on it like yeah whoever else does it you

know yeah yeah when you click export you got that option you got an export option okay yeah i'll

take care of that cool i got a ringing in my ear that's weird yeah yeah what's up bass yeah can you

add uh big ken he says he can't see us being online on skype um let me see i uh do i have

any contact requests no oh just just add him i see what you mean yeah he says he's showing you

He was being offline.

Add him to the call, you're saying.

Okay, hang on.

Yes.

I'm not showing offline.

The milkman thought I was showing up offline for a little while, and it came up for him.

I don't see Ken online.

Tell him to make sure he's looking for the show Skype, not the personal one.

He's looking at the show Skype, and he is online right now.

For me, he is.

It says Ken for him, right?

Yeah, Ken.

I don't see him.

uh no can you can you add him or you can send him to me as a contact you know what i mean you can

write you can right click on him and i think i think you can drop it in the and i can choose

i sent it you sent it okay see you down there hang on because i was somewhere else i gotta

open this chat window ken big ken okay all right oh i don't know why see why see he's coming up

blocked too a whole bunch of people came up blocked of mine for some reason like i spent a

whole week wondering where dark stranger was and she was blocked hang on view resume remove from

no unblock this person i don't know why i would have blocked ken all right now you should i should

show up for ken but i'll add him okay that's weird i actually have like a whole bunch of people

blocked i don't even know why i don't remember doing that i don't know someone blocked me son

of a whore i don't know i have no idea why i would have blocked you i was joking with baz i'm like

he probably fucking blocked me and that's what it was not on purpose now i don't know why

okay weird uh all right so anyway indian numbers you guys want to do some pranks i don't know i

i've done a few but i'm kind of phony i was gonna tell you regarding the uh i heard a little bit of

what you guys are gonna do next week yes um i could probably jump in and help co-host i i can't

broadcast i don't have skype shit okay i can help up in that aspect i guess that works and

are you broadcasting now right or you got mixer working was it uh yeah i broadcasted one show

one time i had a problem my headset was putting out some weird shit but yeah i think it's fixed

now okay all right i don't know if well i don't know oh oh the message i asked you earlier yeah

i got it i got okay okay you got it okay good and i'd love to help out too but uh actually

next thanksgiving my wife and i are celebrating our 15th anniversary so if i uh skip out on that

to do a show that'll be my last anniversary oh yeah dude congratulations but yeah totally but

i could probably pull off some help on the early morning part after uh after i give her a good

working and she's asleep yeah because that'll help out whoever can host that'll help out

if you if you got co-hosts you can kind of stretch things out you know yeah here milkman we do two

hours you know and then we could do two hours a whole bunch of people together and that's four

hours right there i'm just sad i'm not gonna be able to listen to the thanksgiving calls to ernie

and all the usual uh well mixer man you can hear it as soon as you get home or if you have an iphone

you can hear it on your phone do we still have ernie's like confirmed phone number uh i checked

it what six months ago remember because that's yeah it was six i remember i was like yep six

months from today just about it's gonna be thanksgiving yeah so as of six months ago

the number we have for him was still good so yeah let's not call him tonight yeah i bet he's gonna

be fucking pissed yeah yeah you think he's you think he's put two and two together last time i

think i literally spelled it out to him like like do you mean it's not weird to you that i call like

once a year he's like yeah on thanksgiving oh yeah i still don't think he figured it out though

i've worked for the past three years you're territorially harassing me yeah you know this

terrorism terror terror what is it what did he say he said you were territorially harassing him

okay territory territorially something like that all right did did i ever be called domonico

kitchen and bar pretty sure i did uh gabriel's house of pastas anyone want that anyone want

to ask for boiled pasta sure yeah all right boiled gonna be closed all right yeah it's like

It's like 3 in the afternoon now, or something.

I think they're taking a siesta.

Peck, peck, break.

Okay, well, the next one then, that's Indian Place.

Or Good Old Lord.

Go ahead, Baz.

Indian.

You know what to do.

I know what to do.

Call the next one.

I can help you.

Yeah, Indian Food?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd like to place an order for some dirty, dirty food.

I'm sorry?

Yeah, I'd like to place an order for some food, please.

What's the matter?

You can't hear me?

I can barely hear you, sir.

Hey, can you hear me now?

Hello?

Listen carefully.

I want to place an order.

Hello?

Oh my god.

What an idiot that guy.

Fuck.

Turn down that shit music in the background.

You might hear somebody.

I'm calling him back.

Fuck that guy.

Yeah.

Fuck it.

Turn the music down.

Take my order.

Turn the motherfucking music down.

Thank you for calling.

The next person can help you?

Yeah.

What happened?

Can you hear me now?

Yeah.

There's a static on the line.

Not that clearly, but a little bit better than before.

Yeah.

I want to place a stupid order.

damn it yeah how far you are because we're actually closed but you know if you pick up

another 20 minutes i'm just like maybe about uh five minutes away okay yeah i'm really hungry

one second let me liberate that okay hurry the fuck up yeah what took so long okay yeah i'd like

one order of chicken tikka masala one chicken tikka masala yeah one order of pop on one order

of garlic naan? Yeah, garlic naan.

That sounds good. Okay. And do you

have paneer, palak paneer?

Yes. So that's paneer,

that's the Indian cheese, is that right?

Yes. Yeah, do you make the cheese there

in your restaurant? Yeah, we make

our own paneer. Yeah, well

I want some paneer

made from human milk.

I want to come in and I want your sister to

come in front of me and I want to milk her titties

into a bowl. Oh, really?

Yeah, and then I'm going to make the paneer

and I'm going to make you eat it.

Why don't you come and do it now, motherfucker?

Okay, yeah, I'll come in right now.

Yeah, come over. I'm waiting for you, you piece of shit.

What do I do? Do I knock on the door?

Record this number.

What's going to happen when I get there?

Yeah, come over here. If you've got balls, come here.

Oh, I'll come there, all right.

I'm going to make you shit in your tandoori.

You want food, and this is how you talk?

Yeah, yeah.

So I talk. I'm an American, damn it.

Huh?

Born and raised.

What's that?

I'm an American, damn it.

You're American, so what?

Yeah, best damn country in the world. I was born here.

So, so what's the big deal?

So what's the big deal?

You sound like a loser to me.

It means I have a right to get some cheese from your sister's tits.

You sound like a loser, man.

No, no, I'm a...

Yeah, you do.

...American.

If you really want to talk like that, why don't you come face to face and talk?

Yeah, you have a...

You're a coward using, picking up the phone and calling like that and either talking nonsense.

You want to have a fight?

Fight on the phone?

No, I'll come in.

Hey, man, you know, go find something better in your life.

I'm going to make some shit.

Go find a job.

Go work.

Okay?

I want some, uh, I want some modderchode.

You're going to make me some modderchode.

Modderchode?

Yeah, with gondry sauce.

It's what you're going to make for me in your time to return.

Yeah, why don't you tell your mom that, man?

Hey, I'm at your mom's house right now.

No, tell your whole fucking family.

Yeah, I will.

No, my whole fucking family is going to come in and we're going to get some.

Why are you calling to tell her you're coming?

Why don't you just come over?

I'm coming.

I'm on my way.

Yeah, come over.

Yeah, I'm almost there.

I'm almost there.

You're going to have your sister ready for me?

Yeah, come over.

I'm outside, man.

Yeah, okay.

I want you to get your sister ready for me.

I want you to spread some mango chutney all over her.

Okay, come over.

I'm going to eat mango chutney.

sister that was awesome that was good that's actually the first angry dude i've had in a while

yeah that was pretty good man i'm calling him back let me talk to him

maybe no answer maybe no yes hey yeah listen my brother just got real upset here he's using the

phone he was my brother was going to order food he got really upset yeah he's talking nonsense to

me what's the matter why are you he's got a hard problem all right he needs to i don't know about

the hard problem he's talking nonsense about me myself my wife okay he's gonna come and milk my

titties he's talking all kind of crap i'm reporting this number to the cops right now well that's it's

my number it's he i don't know whose number is this he's staying i'm reporting this number to

the cops he's staying with us he's sick okay i don't know who's sick man but if you have a sick

person then you should not let the sick person use the phone like that okay all right and your

Your name is Banchode, is that right?

Yeah, there you go.

You have the same one.

I'm not the same guy.

Baz, tell him I'm not the same guy.

You know what?

Don't call me here anymore, okay?

I'm sick.

That's my brother.

He's taking care of me.

See?

See how he sounds?

He's sick.

I'm on a roll with medication, and it makes me crazy.

I told him.

He said he was going to milk my titties.

He actually said that.

He's going to milk my titties.

I didn't hear you bring his wife into the conversation.

Is he making shit up now?

No, it was his sister.

I wanted to milk his sister.

Yeah, it was his sister and mother, because he said mother to her, I think, at once.

I did, yes.

And he told you to go tell your mother, Baz, your mother.

He told you, yeah, because you said mother to him, and he brought her right back.

Learn your lesson now.

Now you're shamed.

New Indian cuisine.

All right, a different Indian place.

Get it back in three minutes.

Just take this one.

Okay, go milk your titties.

He's going to milk something.

I don't think it's his titties, though.

It's Snake.

Do you need me to help you?

Yes, hello.

I'm going to milk my snake.

Hello?

Yes, I'd like to make an order.

I'd like to make an order, please.

Attention.

Hello?

We're actually closed right now.

When do you open?

What were you looking for?

What?

Oh, this...

Order now.

Yes, can I speak to the owner, please?

We can take a takeout order.

I just need to talk to the owner to make a complaint.

Oh, okay.

May I know what the problem is?

Well, because I called and a woman was really rude to me on the phone, and I hate her.

Oh, well, we'll actually close, but I was trying to figure out if we can take the order.

Yeah, I'm going to complain about you to him.

Oh, well, that's my dad, so it's not really going to matter anyways.

Well, I just need to, you need to do this.

It's the law.

You need to let him, let him talk to me.

Please.

I command you.

Okay, one second.

Okay.

Entitled little bitch.

Hello?

Listen, who is this?

Hello?

Is this Patel?

No, this is not fail.

Okay, good.

Listen, that girl that was just talking to me, your daughter, she's disgusting.

She's disgusting.

You know, she said banchu to me and mattertude, and I looked it up,

and I found out that it means very disgusting, nasty things.

You want any order or anything, sir?

Yeah, one banchu.

Whatever.

She was like, oh, that's my dad.

He ain't got a car.

That's literally.

that's what my wife or my my wife's uh managers her dad so um she walks around with that attitude

at work all no she doesn't she doesn't actually do but it's true that is the case what i said

the situation but not the way she acts that'd be real funny though i'm gonna tell athena we

should call turkish kitchen we give them too long of a fucking break holy shit i forgot about them

completely okay yeah i talked to charlie the other night on the fun show i saw the comments about i

didn't hear it but i saw the comments regarding that i heard the pepsi guy again oh my god what

a dumb ass they fell for the pepsi order again yeah he's like he's like oh you're the pepsi guy

you want to come now i told him i was gonna break and order any

Oh, wow.

How did you tell him?

I heard piss and shit, Sean, man.

He got a little bit mad.

Piss and shit.

Oh, shit.

I got him good with that, though.

He's like, $3,000?

That was epic.

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

Hey,

can you call Singapore?

Can I pull what?

I lost you.

Can you call Singapore?

Singapore?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can.

Yeah, that's fine.

we uh we called some hotels in singapore on uh after the show but they have some pretty

restrictive laws it's all sexuality so it's illegal it's illegal to not flush the toilet

after using it yeah you're breaking up a lot yeah your connection's a little bad you got bad

really yeah you got let me try reconnecting your connection's a little baz

what was gonna call turkish kitchen should we wait for baz to come back i think yeah he's gonna be

he's gonna be upset if we don't turkish kitchen had too long of a fucking break yeah that's true

faison's right over there getting ready to fire up the grill as you're back yet he shows his

connected still yeah does that sound any better now yeah i don't know does he gotta sound okay

Everyone else sounds okay, except for you

Alright, let me connect Turkish Kitchen

I saw that you can't

chew gum in Singapore

I didn't know that

Hello, no one is available to take your call

Please leave a message

It must be the house phone

Oh yeah, it says Turkish Horse at Home

Okay, I called the wrong one

Yeah, that's the house phone

I enjoy those calls

when he tries to tell us that we made a mistake

that we didn't call the right house

Do you guys remember the area code there?

oh man i forgot where where is it berkeley right and then it yeah i don't remember hang on let me

just look it up turkish kitchen berkeley berkeley ca ice coos go fuck yourself yeah fuck you what

he do he's talking shit he's always in the chat tell me to fuck off and fuck you oh okay fuck me

is that faizan yeah how are you honey i'd like to make an order who are you huh who are you oh i

I come in there often.

You don't know me or my name.

I've never told you.

I just heard someone calling you Faizan and a few things, you know.

I either, that was either your name or like a thing you say.

I don't know.

So, what do you want?

Okay, let's see.

You had that one chicken dish, right?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, boy.

I want to make sure.

Is that the, does it come with a side?

Are you sure you want to take the girl?

Yeah.

Or you're playing with me?

No, no.

I'm making an order.

I want hummus.

I don't believe you and I don't want to serve you.

You stupid monkey, you shit.

You are.

You are the stupid bitch woman.

Hi, Juan.

She doesn't want to play very much anymore.

Yeah, she knows my voice.

She's like, I don't want to take your money.

I think you're talking.

We should talk for a minute or two.

Yeah, the last time I talked to the horse guy, though, man, he was like, I'm going to take this all the way.

I remember this voice.

He's like, well, don't you answer the phone.

Who's cock are you sucking?

You son of a whore

Do that shit

It sounded like he was at home

Or at work in the back

Fucking just shit face

What is this

Hey this is your friend from something

I'm waiting on you man

There's a voicemail here

There's two new voicemails

No just one

Hey this is your friend from Indian Express

I'm waiting on your order man

Give me a call

That's the guy that Baz talked to

Alright, I'll call him back

He just called five minutes ago, Baz

Alright, here we go

He's waiting for me

Yeah, he's waiting for you to call

Tell him to unlock the fucking

Asshole

I'm calling him one more time

Busy

Shit

Alright, well

What about the layaway guy

That was coming to kick your ass or whatever

The first layaway

Yeah, the kid

The kid talked to us last time

We've left him alone for a while

Let's call him and wake him up

Fucking old man

Man, way to put your son on the phone to fight your battles.

Yeah, and then there's the, we can also,

because the one guy called back saying he was going to call the local police department,

my local police and his local police, because of the things I said to his wife.

Where did your Skype show you're coming out of?

Yeah, I think it's Oregon.

I think I picked Brad Carter's city, so I could say I'm Brad Carter and get him in trouble.

No, I didn't.

I forget where.

I think it's California or something.

something. I'm not sure. I don't know. It spells out something that's private. You guys aren't

allowed to know until a later day. Um, if I can remember which one is, okay, it was Misty who we

never talked to. Oh yeah, we did. We connected Misty with the, uh, the old guy and the old lady.

Yeah. How are you? Oh, I'm fine. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. I'm calling from the layaway.

You're calling from what? The layaway. Layaway? Yeah. Oh, did you, you said you were going to

to come down here or something yeah well it's kind of hard to when you're in oak grove oregon

or that's where your phone numbers and uh notified and they've other people's already

made phone calls to them too about you calling them everybody knows you're full of shit no so

apparently you know my wife's name and other information so apparently you have my address

so if you'd like to come speak to me about the uh little comment you made to me earlier

Welcome.

I'd be more than happy to meet you out in my yard.

About the sexual organs?

Yeah.

Come on over.

I'll have a chat with you.

Why don't you come see me?

All right.

You want to have some tea?

I got, they got two, they're two for $4.

I can bring, like, two teas.

All right, well, hey.

You like sweet tea, or how do you like it?

Just come on over here and have a chat with me.

All right, buddy.

Yeah, we'll have a chat.

We'll work this out.

We'll work it out, okay?

Because I don't want to get in trouble.

Oh, you mean you don't want to get in trouble?

No.

Oh, well, you're already getting in trouble.

Oh, please.

You're biting off more than you can handle, partner.

I know.

I do drugs and stuff and trying to get clean.

Oh, I'm sorry you do drugs and you're trying to get clean.

Yeah.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah.

But you're biting off more than you can with me, partner.

You need to quit calling, okay?

All right, buddy.

Thanks for talking to me.

I appreciate it.

Yeah.

Well, you know, come right on over.

We can chat about it any time you want to.

Well, not tonight, though.

You're sleeping tonight, right?

Have a good night

Okay

Fucking partner

I think he forgave you

Yeah so I'm out of it

I'm not in trouble

It sounds like he's trying to set you down the right path

Okay

Brad also wants to remind me

That I tell the listeners

That he is a pretty princess

Okay guys

Brad is a

Yeah just to get their side

See where they're at about it

No, I'm scared

So I'm not going to do this

Sorry

No, okay

Here's a request to prank that came in from Hank Hill

A former mafioso

He says that we need to call a sick bastard

And inform him about the facts

About using propane and propane accessories

Okay

God damn it, Bobby

Alright, I'm trying to make sense of this

Thank you, Mr. Cross

About five years old

So anyway, to get to the point, instead of the joking around, Hank, is that someone is

selling a tanger barbecue smoker.

Five years old, used only once, excellent condition.

Original was $5,000.

Wow.

Okay.

That's expensive for a smoker, dude.

Come on, really?

Yeah.

I was like, he's got money to blow.

It was at the fucking, one of those outdoor stores, what they call Bass Bro Shops.

They're fun.

I love going to those places.

You can see the guns, and they got camping stuff, boats, you can go in the boats and

everything.

It's badass, man.

They got stuffed animals everywhere.

Hey, how are you?

Hello?

Yeah, you have a barbecue smoker?

Oh yeah, uh-huh.

Where'd you get it from?

From Bass Bro Shop?

From where we bought it.

Oh.

You know, you ever been to...

My partner actually purchased it.

Your gay partner?

I'm sorry?

Your gay partner?

My partner.

Yeah, like it's like a homosexual thing, your partner?

No, we own a business.

He's my partner.

Oh, okay.

I thought you like had a relationship with a man or something like my partner

because then I wouldn't buy it from you.

That's disgusting.

Have you ever been to Bass Pro Shops or one of those big outdoor stores?

Is that on the mainland or locally?

I don't know.

Locally or mainland.

I don't know.

No, I actually haven't been.

Yeah, they got like stuffed bears and animals and stuff like that.

Yeah, no, I have never been in one.

I'm not allowed in the one in Los Angeles because I went behind it and I fucked one of the bears, the stuffed bears.

I picked it up and I walked through the emergency exit and then I went back and behind the dumpster and I fucked it in the ass.

Hello?

Yep, I'm here.

Yeah, that's, you know, that happened, you know.

So now I need a smoker.

Do you live in Hawaii?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I live in a homeless shelter.

A homeless shelter?

Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah, and I just want to sleep in the smoker, you know?

You what?

Want to sleep in the smoker?

Yeah, I'm going to sleep in it.

Yeah, I don't think it's big enough for somebody to sleep in.

Oh, okay.

Can I put, like, a four-year-old in it, you think?

A what?

A four-year-old.

I don't know.

I guess a four-year-old would fit in there.

Oh, perfect.

to put a four-year-old in a box or something.

This will make it much easier.

Are you calling about purchasing the smoker?

Yeah, I'm going to put my manager on the line.

I've got a lot of shit I've got to do.

You're going to put your manager on the phone?

Yeah, Big Ken or Baz, I don't know.

I'm going to buy this smoker for the business.

How much is that thing going for, Chief?

$500.

That's a lot of money.

Yeah, it is.

All right, all right.

We can make a deal.

I'll give you $300, and I've got this friend, John Holliman,

man who will suck your

dick. Okay, thank you very

much for calling. Just a tip, though.

Just a tip. He's going to do it.

Real soft. You know, sometimes

I like it when you just get the tip kissed.

It feels kind of good. He has a velvet throat,

I'm telling you. Fantastic.

Most things. A velvet glove.

Alright, he's out of here

on his ass. They should tell me

I'm going to buy the smoker to euthanize some kittens.

Eat some

Jewish kittens.

Alright.

You should have asked him if it's a propane smoker.

I don't think there's such a thing, Albany.

And I put my dad a big, big smoker for his birthday, and it was only about $150.

Okay.

I didn't know there was a propane.

I guess it could be a propane smoker, right?

Because they've got those special little bricks you can put in propane stoves.

I guess you could.

That would be stupid, though.

Why would you want to do that?

Yeah, I mean, that defeats the purpose.

It's not even a smoker.

I don't know.

I just sent you a link, Carlito, about this guy in Detroit who stole $600 worth of condoms from a Rite Aid store.

$600?

$600 worth of condoms.

Holy shit.

Condoms are expensive, though, but would you trust to buy a condom from some dude on the street who's hawking used condoms?

I was like, what are you going to do?

Like, yeah, sure, okay.

You're buying a lot of condoms, man?

I'm good, thanks.

I'll undercut any fucking store out there.

$5, come on.

No, homie, I'm good, thanks.

I got the best footage, man.

Man.

All right, we got about five minutes left

because I'm going to go eat something.

I've got Singapore or another Indian restaurant.

What do you guys want?

Sure, you want to try Singapore?

Yeah, we'll do Singapore, okay.

Singapore.

Let me grab those.

I got a whole slew of Singapore,

so we'll try to rapid-fire these,

have a lot of fun real fast.

Wow, there's Italian pizza places in Singapore and pizzerias.

It's just like anywhere else, guys.

It's awesome.

Yeah.

They even have television in Singapore.

Wow.

They got electricity, toilet.

No, they don't got toilet.

Come on.

They don't have toilets there.

No, you have to flush them.

All right.

Do they speak Tagalog?

No.

No, they don't.

They all speak pretty good English.

Okay.

Is it a hotel or?

The first one on the list.

I was looking to help you.

Yeah, pizza.

Yes, sir, Bella Pizza?

Yeah, I'd like to order a stupid pizza.

You would like to order some takeaway pizza?

Yes, sir, Bella Pizza.

Yes, yes.

And I was wondering, is your establishment clothing optimal?

Hello?

Yes, I would like to order pizza.

Takeaway?

Yeah, takeaway, please.

Which pizza, sir?

Yes, I would like a large pepperoni.

And can you put some chewing gum on it?

Chewing what?

Chewing gum.

In America, we like pizza with chewing gum.

Can you put some chewing gum on the pizza for me?

Which one would you like to put again?

I want to come in naked.

I take all my clothes off, and I walk around naked.

Is that okay?

So, pizza, pepper, and cheese, salami and cheese, right, sir?

Yeah, okay.

Well, salami and cheese, that's fine.

But I'm going to bring in my boyfriend, Ken.

Do you want to come in with me?

and we're going to hug and we're going to kiss.

I want to come in and we'll have some pizza.

Hello?

Yes.

We'll take 15 minutes, okay?

And when I come in with Ken, we're going to hug

and we're going to kiss inside the restaurant.

I'm sorry.

I don't understand.

Yeah, I'm going to come up and I'm going to give you a hug.

Me and my boyfriend want to go into the bathroom.

Will you go with us?

Hello?

Do you have a restroom?

A restroom? Yes, it's behind the restaurant, sir.

With a toilet?

A toilet?

Yeah.

It's behind the restaurant, sir.

Yeah, okay, well, I don't have any hands.

My hands, I lost both my hands in a roadside bomb explosion in Afghanistan.

So after I go to the bathroom, I cannot flush the toilet.

Is that okay?

Yes, you can use the bathroom, the restroom.

But I'm not going to flush the toilet because I have no hands.

Okay, no worries. You can use the toilet, no problem.

Yeah, but I won't, no flesh, no flesh.

Yes sir, yes sir.

Okay, I'm not going to get gained for that, am I?

So, um, you're not, you're not picking up the, um, pizza anymore?

Yeah, I will pick up the pizza, but at first I need to take a shit in your restaurant before I pay for the pizza.

He's going to take a big shit right in the middle of your dining room floor, pal.

Yeah.

Do you eat another shit?

Yeah.

Do you know, do you know shit?

No, sir, no.

No, I'm going to poop, I'm going to make a poop.

You know, go to the bathroom. I'm going to catch up on the counter, and I'm going to take a shit right on the table.

Sir, I'm going to walk into your kitchen, and I'm going to poop right on the floor. Right for everyone.

And I'm going to be chewing gum, and I'm going to spit the gum out onto the pizza.

Just so you can use the bathroom first, no problems.

Yeah, and then can I come in, and I'm going to spit on the floor.

Sorry, I don't understand.

Yeah, you know what? Fuck you. Learn better English, dude.

I'm going to urinate on all your pizza.

Hello?

Hello.

I insulted you.

I said to fuck you.

Do you understand?

I'm sorry.

Do you understand, cocksucker motherfucker?

Sorry.

I'm going to say a bad word.

Lots of bad words inside your restaurant.

I'm sorry.

I'm going to yell very loudly, and I'm going to make a scene.

This guy's a fucking dickless squander.

Yeah, let's hang up on him.

You're boring, man.

Yeah, I'm calling Patricia Flowers in England.

Be on the line, faggot.

Hello?

Good morning. May I speak with Mrs. Flowers, please?

Uh, who's this?

Yes, this is Mr. Flowers.

Pardon?

Yes, am I speaking with Mr. Flowers?

Yes.

Yes, uh, are you related to Paul Flowers?

No.

No, so, you know, Paul Flowers is my brother, and I thought we might be related.

You might know him. He's a politician. They're in England.

How did you get this number?

Well, no, my brother, my cousin, Paul Flowers, gave me his number to me.

He told me, Paul, when I arrive, I'll come over to your house.

He told me I could come over to your house.

Yeah, whatever, bye.

And that you'll serve me tea and crumpets, and I'll give you a good rogering.

Whatever he said, and he said bye.

All right.

Oh, I have a lot more numbers, but I got to go, man.

I can't anymore.

I got to go.

Seriously, I got my oven going.

It should be preheated already.

I'm going to burn the house down if I don't go.

Does anybody want to go on after me?

Because I've got a whole bunch of numbers from Lonesome

and Singapore and Britain

that I can give out if you guys want.

Let me know.

I don't know.

If anybody wants to do an after show, you let me know.

Yeah, go on, Ice Goose. What the hell?

Alright.

Maybe he can.

Yeah, don't burn the house down, but get that oven.

I better go. I'm hungry, too.

Alright, bye, Bash. See you later, guys.

Bye, Enigma.

See you.

Good show.

See you later.

And Ken, see you later.

Bye.

All right, Milkman.

Hello.

Hey, man.

We're done with the motherfucking show, motherfucker.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

That's some fucking ass kicking there we've done, man.

All right, you crazy man.

That's what I'm talking about, man.

It's your money, though.

Yeah, that's me.

All right, man.

So we getting out of here, man.

So we get the plan squared away, or we're still working on that?

still working on it still in committee all right yeah good my friend hopefully we get it going

all right well man i'll tell you what it's been great and it really has man i'd like to thank our

our buddy over there man the numbers hit man all hands held high man our brother's numbers hit man

thank you brother i thank everybody for stopping in we had a bunch of guests on tonight all right

thank you so much man we're getting ready for the 24th dawn that's what i'm talking about

Now, everybody over there in the Madhouse, in the mouth, howdy, howdy, and glad to have you guys around.

Definitely, man, we miss all of you, love all of you, like to talk to you and thank everybody that stopped in.

Also, I'd like to thank you, especially our listeners.

That's right, we do this every week for you.

The most integrated, craziest Madhouse show that you'll ever find.

The Madhouse right here on the internet, don't any more air balls every week here next Thursday.

That's right, we'll be here.

That's right, that's right, we drop time.

We ask that you give us the dime, and we'll definitely, and your friends or your enemies,

will always be welcome here in the Madhouse.

And what do we do with our famous lady here, Monito?

Oh, man, thank you so much, brother.

That's right.

We are saving lives one call at a time, brother.

Thank you so much.

Me, yeah.

Thanks, Milkman.

All right, dude.

I am so tired, brother.

Man, thank you so much for keeping it going, man.

You got it.

Everyone who joined us tonight, thanks.

Everyone who we pranked tonight, thank you for letting us prank call you.

Even the guys who are going to have the police come after me, Milkman.

I am sorry.

All right, partner.

You're excused, partner.

And everyone who sent the numbers, we'll catch you here next week for Thanksgiving Show Machine.

Yeah.

That's right.

Oh, that's right, man.

That's right.

Everybody get ready, man.

You know, horse and turkey.

God damn it.

You forgot already, Milkman?

We just went over this.

I know, dude.

I am so tired, man.

I've got to be up in, like, four hours.

I'm out of here.

See you later, man.

I'm going to call you in a few minutes.

I'm going to call you.

Yeah, yeah, man.

That's cool.

All right.

Peace, everybody.

We'll see you on down the log.

The log.

Calls (40, 1 h 31 min of 2 h 23 min)

Transcript

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