I’ll Bust Yer Sheeit

You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast.

Carlito, host of Madhouse Radio.

I am here with Mr. Lovely Milkman.

Hey, Milkman.

Nice round of applause for Milkman.

Oh, something with that motherfucker.

That's why I fired him that one time.

Hey!

Anyway, thank you for listening, being responsible, and being here.

I'm like Milkman.

Unless, maybe, let's check to make sure that laptop is working.

Let's see.

Okay, how about now?

Oh, duh, duh, duh.

I'm stupid.

if you put the mute button man you probably can't hear the mute man

i ate the mute button i'm so poor and hungry i ate the mute button

hey man hey it's good to hear your melodious tones man i just want to say

let me spark it up baby let's get this show rolling oh yeah just turn it into a whole drug

show that's exactly what this is hey man nothing wrong with drug addicts i gave that up a long

time ago i know that shit's bad for you man where's my lighter yeah whatever hey if you're

listening or watching and you are in the chat room you should get in the goddamn motherfucker

that's over at prank call nation.com prank call nation.com is what i was trying to say

and over there in this chat room and uh you can also go to madhouse live.com we got request to

prank up there for you asshole you can use request to prank fill out the form i have assurances that

And Mr. Enigma himself has fixed it in the SQL code and all the code in the C++ and the JavaScript and all that.

Yeah.

It did.

Congratulations to Enigma for becoming CCNA certified this week.

Yeah.

Who did that?

Who got CCNA?

Yeah, Enigma.

He got it on his first try.

You're fucking wrong, baby.

Fucking high ten, baby.

That's what I'm talking about.

Seriously?

Maybe.

I don't know.

That's fucking awesome, dude.

I was just making that up.

Work for him, then.

There you go.

Well, Nick, obviously, I guess Milkman thinks you should go for your CCNA.

CCNA, dude, why not, man?

He's smart enough.

Whatever.

If I would get anything, it would be Security Plus.

You can get some nice money right there and now.

Well, Security Plus is the entry, but CCNA, dude, you're right.

You're on a ticket.

That's Cisco, man.

You don't like bank shit, anything, all the high-level stuff.

man speaking of security plus to see what happened uh with the open ssl the the big

leak did you hear about it man no i haven't dude what happened my head was in my head was in the

snow bank the open ssl format had uh i guess some vulnerability that's been in there all along

oh shit yeah yeah and it was like one little line of code that was just borked and someone

at some point notices said uh you know this is not and yeah all that 128 bit and all that shit

ain't worth the fuck man somebody had a key it's easily patchable but well basically what happened

is you could funk up the the way that the sessions saw the size of the data you were sending so you

could send zero data and get back you know 64k of data or however much you could say i have you know

I have – this session is going to be a transfer of one gigs.

And you'd be like, okay, no problem.

Here's one gigs for you.

And you would just download the full one gigs from the other server and not send anything.

I think that's how it worked.

Anyway, it was a pretty big flaw.

And you really – like I think the list of services is pretty intense.

It's like Gmail is effective, Facebook.

What else did I see in that list?

i remember i think i saw okay cupid i was like okay cupid it was on the list of you know sites

that if you have a password on change it immediately and gmail is one facebook i don't

think twitter was affected i know i know i got an email from pro xp and my vpn provider and they

said don't worry we've you're not affected you never were affected by it like we did i got like

32 character password dude well you don't think that would be affected would it could be i would

just change it pick a new 32 i would do it yeah okay yeah i can change some bits in it man that

don't work fuck that sucks it's called the heart heartbleed i believe is that's what they've called

it because oh that's what i saw somebody writing somewhere yeah it has to do with the the heartbeat

protocol between server and client with the open ssl protocol that bouncing back and forth it's a

a version of keep alive yeah kind of it was just it was it was a flaw in it just it was just bad

it was just bad coding and seriously i thought it was it's just one fucking line that you can do and

it's patched so everyone's patching it all like by now facebook gmail everyone passed it uh patched

it but they like their speculation did the nsa know about it all this time were they using it

as a security hole for snooping you know how it is who knows if there's any legitimacy to that or

or not but you gotta have the therapy on the conspiracy train yeah thank you i know you love

the train whistle you're a big fan of it as is matt laugh track matt okay hey i'm moving right

along hell i'm gonna i was trying to do a tiny chat thing but no one joined except for cobra

he got off so i left it somebody's gonna change my password for me man i just went ahead and put

my password in there so one of the guys gonna fix it for me bro so never fear okay all right

a whole room of dysfunks are on the case right now protecting us as we speak sure acres is asking

me where did he get my train whistle from well i got it from a train a railroad railroad museum

here in town or close to town but you can get these motherfuckers anywhere i've seen them in

the smithsonian uh museums you can get it online i'm sure not too hard i'm sure you go to amazon

or ebay and put in wood wooden train whistle and you'll find there's got to be an easy one that's

It's a common old toy, right?

Okay, man, let's see.

Yes, I will tell you the site to go to, Acres.

You go to google.com.

40 Acres, that's right, 40acres.com.

Yeah, that's 40 Acres and a mule.

Oh, 40 Acres, man.

Seriously, dude, that place is awesome, man.

Look at that, Berkeley.

Oh, is it one of those marijuana drug places?

Oh, man, no, it's a cooperative, dude.

Everybody cooperates.

It's really cool.

I thought it was a place where you have marijuana.

Oh, fuck, no, it's not the best dabbing place in town.

man i mean yeah you can buy per dab man you know per price per unit man marijuana smoking parties

that's all you're into these days dabba dabba dabba dude okay come on we're waiting on mr

lonesome loser to join us here but i do have requested prank in front of me and we can do

some of those let me go ahead and get to that thank you oh that's prior to the show starting

we had some requested pranks in there already let's go ahead and see if they're any good

hopefully it's not something stupid hey did you get that picture i sent you with that phone number

on it did you see that what picture never never the guy from mayor mayor oh i didn't get the

picture can you post the phone number so what milkman you said there's some weird guy that's

running for mayor in san francisco and you yeah some fruit dude i mean i really want you to see

the picture man that's fucking ridiculous it looks like somebody took cut his head out right

in a what's his name what's his name uh fuck howard miller what the fuck is his name man

Harold Miller.

Hitler Miller?

Harold.

Yeah.

Harold Miller.

You don't have the picture?

He's running for mayor.

Yeah.

I'm sure I'll find him.

Look, man, there's a website called Google that has all this stuff.

We got to post a picture of this guy.

He looks like he's going to win.

He looks like he's a winner.

A wiener.

Hey, it's Brian here, and I'm not able to get to the phone right now.

I'm going to name a number, and I'll...

Shut the fuck up, Brian, if you're not going to pick up.

i'm seeing he had a website and the domain has expired it was a two cows domain who gets two

cows anymore two cows i download winner from two cows i trust two cows and we have no answer here

so it he looks like a very happy african-american man milkman i'm looking at his picture hello

motherfucker all right milkman yeah look did you see his shoulders man look like somebody like

face took and took his cut his face out yeah i think he uh photoshopped his body and like

photoshopped his head

it looks like a little midget body

look at the size of his head

it's almost as wide as his whole shoulder

that's fucking retarded

it even took a marker

and marked it out

this is one of his campaign stickers

I accosted there, acquired

he didn't even try to

fucking airbrush or nothing

he just straight up copied

he asked me

listen you got that number I'm weighing on you

it's right there man

man. Look at me. Now it is.

You didn't format it. Yeah, it's in Gort,

man. It's in Gort. Sorry, dude. You gotta learn

to format. I didn't push

the X, okay? No, you have to put

plus one. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

You gotta put plus one in front of these numbers,

motherfucker. I didn't know that.

Yeah, man. Now I had to copy-paste

making me right-click

and left-click and right-click and left-click

again and go. It's

a pain in the ass. I want

to just click once and click again

and it's connected that's why we plus one motherfucker it's called four man in the

motherfucker milkman get with it come on man he's described as just google harold miller for

san francisco mayor jokes on him because there's no election in 2015 in san francisco i'm kidding

i don't know the problem is that'd be funny if he's not um he's described as an unemployed taxi

driver milkman do you know this guy personally dude i haven't seen this this guy must be a

total fart i've been trying to figure out who he is every time i go in there this this asshole

leaves you stupid stickers and she like leaves his campaign pack so every day i take and pick

it up and i get in the cab and i give it to the officer somehow he keeps coming back every time

i give him back he keeps showing up i snagged one while we was off there and well i was off and i

thought well fuck this would be funny you know it's like fucking him yeah right yeah mr trailing

off yeah maybe he can't afford a uh suit and that's why he photoshops himself on top it looks

like a little kid that was like a adult's head looks like a little kid made the stupid thing

all right last week this guy here was uh wasted with a friend at a local party in the university

his friend drunk his friend drunkenly threw a bottle of jose cuervo tequila black on the roof

i should ask call and ask if they can return it to him some suggestions it was just ordinary

jose cuervo tequila it was jose cuervo black it's like a five dollar difference in price but

what okay whatever you're you got too many ideas sir i'll call it i got something to go with but

don't get all fucking what is this taco so this is the number of the place and my friend

on the roof okay so they're at a place called taco john's i get some kind of some kind of

a late night taco joint and they were drinking tequila outside and the friend was i've never

been drunk before probably they're probably freshman motherfuckers and they threw the

bottle of cuervo on top of the roof of the fucking restaurant very classy of you what

university is this is this uh some bullshit university where do you go california you

probably go to berkeley with milkman yeah berkeley man wisconsin no berkeley they're

she's smart they just smoke a lot of fucking aid dude they got some smart good looking chicks man

you ought to go over this place called the turkish kitchen man check out this woman there man

it's in wisconsin that's horrible why would you want to go to college in wisconsin

where the the winner is the best eight months of the fucking year yeah great i'm gonna go to

what you want to go to like florida shit california cold man it's like grandpa minnesota

you remember when i went to minnesota yes dude i got up here dude i would come back from from

the islands you know and then as soon as i got there man i could place like degrees and going

down now sick in two weeks yeah yeah okay i don't want to get into it with you i'm gonna don't love

you're gonna get it milkman you're gonna get it from me listen this is an euclair euclair what

What university is in Eau Claire?

Chat room, find out.

Eau Claire.

E-A-U Claire.

Eau Claire.

I would love to hear Prankmasters say this city's name.

Eau Claire.

Claire.

Louisiana.

Eau Claire.

He did the phone.

Prankmasters, say Eau Claire.

He needs the phone.

It disconnects.

Cool, Harold.

I copied the wrong number.

Bull.

Let me try again.

Sorry, man.

I didn't mean to send the wrong number again there, dude.

Yeah.

Here, try this one.

Thank you, Milkman.

Very good.

All right, buddy.

Don't do it again.

Get it!

Why is this not copying, motherfucker?

Come on.

Well, I did it the right format.

Here's plus one.

No, it's a problem on my computer machine.

It's not copying shit, right?

All right, I don't see if I do plus two.

Will it be faster?

No.

Don't be ridiculous.

We're trying that.

E-Clair.

I live in E-Clair.

Remember when Nunu, he was doing a prank show,

and Nunu sent them numbers to places on purpose.

This is Dr. Jones on Water Street.

This is Ryan.

How may I help you?

Yeah, listen.

I was down there.

You're on Water Street, right?

Yep.

All right.

We're freshmen at the school.

We were drinking in your parking lot really late at night last week.

My buddy threw a bottle of Jose Cuervo Black under your roof.

Did you know about that at all?

Did you hear anything?

Did someone find it?

No.

I'm sorry.

Thanks.

Don't go.

There's no thanks.

Come on.

there's no thanks milkman there's no thanks we mean no thanks what the fuck is the problem with

these cats man i didn't you don't have the proper etiquette it wasn't thanks time

it's not time for thanks it's not thanks time i needed to talk to you about this

can you help me you know how you have the it's not a prank call motherfucker

follow the building.

And tell the manager to come

and check it out.

Hey, are you done

now? Can I talk? Thank you.

Alright, so you've got the ladder there

I think next to the building, on the

side of the building, but there's like no access

to get to it. It's kind of like blocked off,

right? Yeah, and unfortunately

until we have the day

manager come in, we can't do anything, so

you're going to have to wait until tomorrow.

Oh, but listen, my buddy Milkman, he does

parkour he thinks he can do a double jump and actually get up to where he can do a muscle up

to get up there to see what time you know right it's against the law to do that i cannot give you

permission to do that somebody wants to do that we will call the cops and have people arrested

and like i said no there's no need for that you have to wait until tomorrow when the day manager

comes in can actually go up there and check thank you for calling there's no need for that

I'll leave a message.

Fucking asshole.

God damn it.

Fuck that guy.

What a freaking homo, dude.

Parkour, Milkman.

I guess so.

Hey.

Shit, let me talk, bro.

Milkman, you gotta do some parkour, man.

And put it on YouTube.

I did.

It was under a different name.

I'll tell you later.

Was it parkour, man?

Didn't you say you used to be a skater?

Yeah, man.

Absolutely.

I can't imagine you on a skateboard.

Fuck, dude.

That was pretty rad, man.

And actually, dude, I was the first person to like to do the aerials and stuff.

Were you one of those motherfuckers that all you did was ollie constantly and that's all you did?

They didn't have ollies then, dude.

This is before ollies, man.

This is back like when we had the like eight-inch boards, man.

And, you know, you had to do like a front side air and like, you know, the foot plant was something new back then.

So people weren't doing none of that shit, man.

I was the only one that was riding vertical because I was riding swimming pool, right?

Everybody else was like riding these little ramps and shit.

but i'd drive like two hours to the state capitol and i'd ride these skateboard it is like one of

the best parks ever man look it up still some on the internet apple skate park dude they had

freaking pool in it and like a kidney they had a keyhole they had dude they had bowls they had a

three-quarter pipe oh my god dude man i i went over a vert on that man i weird a three-quarter

pipe this fucker's huge man like 25 foot man shot crete talk about good man you come flying off the

the side you did acid drops straight off no hands man straight down the wall and then like fall and

then by the time you get by the curve your back wheels hit then you got else if you miss you're

going straight on your head man acid drops man it is the fucking best every every every time that i

watch people i mean skating look cool skateboarding look cool to me i never had the coordination to do

it but whenever i was around people that were doing it like at school or out or whatever or

friends of mine all they did was constantly try to ollie that's all they did i'm going to try to

ollie it was so scary it was stupid people started doing that right because like what happened was

right at the end of the uh 80s man right right there's no more ramps and shit like people were

like starting to do lawsuits and shit they were closing parks up so all of a sudden it became

unpopular so these kids only thing you have is ramps and old freestyle shit so the only thing

you can do when you're going very you know going very slow and shit but tiny wheels on them and do

like kickflips and shit and that's what this all came from was because of the lawsuits stopped

everybody from riding vert man so that was just changed the style to where it is now

87 88 around it's cool man because some of them fucking nutheads take it up in the vert do that

shit man i'm like you gotta be insane oh yeah that i can't do that on the fucking ground much

Much less do that on the vert, man.

But, like, to me, it was like, all right, so you're going to get me to convince my mom to buy me a skateboard.

I'm going to get out there and be breaking my ass and skinning my knees and shit like a white boy just so I can hop a little bit over and over again the same move.

Like, oh, yeah, well, and they'd always be like, yeah, well, we're making plans.

We're going to draw up plans for a ramp.

We're going to build a ramp.

My dad's going to get some wood, and we're going to build a ramp, man, and we're drawing it out.

I knew like four or five friends with a notebook, and they had a skate ramp that someday they were going to build a fucking skate ramp.

I'll build a shitload of them.

We did the 8x12, like two fours, and then you got another one on top.

Oh, yeah? That's good. Good for you.

Did you ever fall down and be like, ah?

Oh, fuck, dude.

I did a hip real much, man.

I don't know what that is.

That's where you do, like, a complete body slam with your pelvis hitting the concrete.

And you fuck a woman.

Yeah, you impact the concrete with your pelvis.

It's called a hipper.

Oh, man.

That motherfucker did, dude.

I cried like a fucking baby.

It hurt so hard I couldn't walk.

I'm not white.

Dude, after that, I bought these skate pants that had, like, football pads built into them.

Because, like, they had special pants.

pants that you could wear so like if you ever fucking did go down you know fuck man those are

the best things i've bought the longest time and then you stood on a skateboard once in a broken

half and that was the last time you did it your mom was like you're too fat actually i wrote it

off of our we had a car your mom said you're too fat to skate off the roof because i want to break

it out the kryptonic skateboard yeah right you did an ollie in a broken half and your mom was like

Mike, I'm not buying you another one, you fatty, fat, fat.

And she bought you an Atari 2600.

Sorry, Rachel is not available.

Come on, Rachel.

Sorry.

The scoop here is that this woman chews her food loudly and slams the office door.

Bitch.

What will they pick up, motherfucker?

That's the problem.

Sorry.

No answer there, folks.

We're just looking at some of the requested pranks here tonight.

I am Carlito.

I am here with Milkman, the website.

site for you to be at is prank call nation.com where you can join the chat room and also mad

house live.com where you can send a prank call request over to me motherfucker send that

motherfucker yeah keep in mind if you're watching the video feed on youtube you are not going to

hear music so there's going to be some times where there's like a long break of music like

when i take my break you're not going to hear anything because youtube is a motherfucker when

when it comes to those uh copyright shits and they'll be banning my account all that stuff

so if you want to hear the whole experience you got to go to prankcallnation.com and click on

the listen links listen there you can keep the video going and watch the video if you want that's

okay i'm just saying keep the video going yeah so the video numbers are high yeah just fuck up all

your bandwidth and your computers and everything yeah and then download some torrents download

Download Madhouse Torrent.

Madhouse Virus.

That's the name of the show.

All right.

Hey, get on the screen, man.

Let's do the Madhouse.

There you go.

All right.

Okay.

Let me have a look in the chat room, see if anybody is blinking.

Yes, Mr. Lonesome Loser is blinking.

And he's sending in numbers in California for restaurants, pizza places, it seems, of

all sorts and kinds.

We also got Jake's Burger Machines.

We got the Boss Burgers.

I don't know if I'm feeling pizza right now.

What could I do to the pizza place?

I could bring Jack Masterson back.

Would you like that, Milkman?

Oh, yes, please, man.

Yeah, if you could come out of retirement for a couple of minutes.

Thank you, sweet.

All right.

Long lost friend.

Our underweight dietetic friend.

I'm not excited about this, but we'll call him.

All right.

I was listening to one of the Fat Albert calls here earlier on the show.

Oh, that's awesome.

Go eat.

They didn't even get the Fat Albert.

They're retarding.

We're at the round table pizza. This is Terry. How can I help you?

Curve side server.

I'm sorry, do we have what?

Curve side server.

No.

Can, will you make an exception? I weigh 482 pounds and I can't really get around much.

I have to, they remove the front seats in my van.

I sit in the middle row and I drive the van, you know, like that.

That's how I get around.

Could you guys, can I make an order and you guys bring it out?

I'll call you when I'm in the parking lot

And I'll pay cash

Hold on please sir

I think there was a pubic hair in this thing

I think it is a pubic

Don't stick it

It might have been one of my cat's hairs

Or a pubic hair

One of the two

I think I swallowed it by now

I lost it

It might be my teeth

Shit

Here

Hello sir

What happened?

Yeah my man

Um

You had the

I'm sorry sir

Your phone keeps breaking up

No it's me

It's me

I'm breaking up

I'm having some trouble.

Okay.

You got the phone number there and the call ID?

No.

Shit.

Motherfucker.

Hang on.

Okay.

And your name?

Jack Masterson.

What

would you like?

Do you need the EMT name?

I said, what would you like?

Do you need the EMT's name?

We're coming in the ambulance

Hello?

Oh.

So I need to know, you said you wanted to place an order.

What would you like to order?

One pizza.

Okay, what would you like?

Meat.

One pork meat.

So you keep breaking up.

I cannot understand what you're saying.

One pork meat, you motherfucker, you.

One pork meat.

Are we talking like a motherfucker over here and that shit happens?

She made it that far, Jack.

Jack, Jack, that should be a song.

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, Jack Masterson.

It's like hit the road, Jack.

The road, Jack Masterson, speaking.

I think they're retards.

Where's Noon here's at?

Up his ass.

What's he all whacking off?

Up his ass.

Whacking.

Exactly.

He's probably out with his...

Thanks for calling.

I'm around to help heat some pasta.

This is Jackson.

Sign in.

Out of delivery.

I want to make an order.

My name is Jack Masterson.

I need one pizza with meat, two units of cheese, one bread cooked over heat.

Sorry.

Did you want...

Sign in.

Take out a delivery.

Take out one boiled spaghetti.

I already gave it before I called earlier.

Did you need me to do that again, motherfucker?

Okay, uh, thanks a ton.

Man, he disconnected awful quickly there.

I think maybe, uh, I think maybe he misinterpreted your order.

Milkman, you talk to him.

Let's hear you talk to him, motherfucker.

No, no, no.

He's going over around to the old pizza and bus.

Curry, agree?

No, Milkman's going to place an order.

So, Diane, take out our delivery?

Look at that bread.

Curry and naan bread.

Samoas.

Do we have lime curry and naan bread?

Take over, dude, take over.

I can't handle this.

Oh, okay, I forgot, you got, yeah

I forgot you have agoraphobia, whatever

No, man, I'll mess it up

Did you?

Yeah, I'd like to

Yes, I'd like to make an order, please

For it to go?

Yes

And, uh, remember, here you

Motherfucker

Good deal, Ted Webb's calling in, bro

I was trying to add him in because I saw him come online

Yeah, I saw him too, man, I thought that was him

Oh, man, I hope so

Thank you for choosing me over, I'll tell you this, John, how can I help you?

Yeah, I think I got the phone problem fixed, buddy

What was that?

I had the phone problem fixed.

I wanted to give you my phone number.

Hello?

Yes, sorry about that.

What's going on?

I'm not sure.

Can you repeat that again?

Sorry, what happened?

I have a takeout order for you.

Oh, all righty.

One second.

Hi, baby people.

Okay, what can I get for you today?

Okay, one pizza, please.

Medium.

Awesome.

What else can I get for you?

The toppings.

I'm going to have sauce, one cheese, one meat.

Would you like the original crust of that?

Yes.

one meat i said yes excuse me sir sorry i said yes i don't like to repeat things a lot is there

someone who speaks english oh okay oh that's that's okay honey all right so what do you got

so far maybe i should i think so yeah okay yes ma'am go ahead thank you sweetie there's assholes

tonight you gotta somebody ask if you would check your pms who did milkman slot slot did

slot did fuck all right let me look have anything from slot what are you talking about i don't know

No, it was in Chatterley.

Oh, my.

That's right.

They do have beef curry in Japan.

It's delicious.

They have everything curry.

You can get egg curry.

Yeah, dude.

No, it's good, man.

Actually, it is very good.

Oh, boy.

This takes forever.

Hi, this is Tracy from All The Roundtable.

May I help you?

Yes.

Is there a man I can talk to?

I really can't deal with this right now with you.

I'm sorry?

Is there a man I can talk to?

I really can't do this with you right now.

Did you want to take the order?

I'm one of the men.

Maybe I can help you.

Yeah, that's nice, honey.

Honey, yeah, I'll have an order.

Okay, for here, takeout or delivery?

Takeout.

This is takeout.

Last order.

Okay.

May I get your phone number, please?

Here we go again.

I'm sorry.

Hey, and your name is?

Very nice, honey.

Yeah, my name is Jack.

Okay, Jack, you're in our system.

Good.

And what kind would you like today?

One pizza machine.

And a pizza?

One pizza machine.

You want a Montague all meat?

What do you mean?

We don't have a machine pizza.

If there's a certain type of pizza you like, we have a Montague all meat.

We have a King Arthur Supreme.

That sounds retarded. No, I'll have one cheese, one meat.

A cheese pizza?

Yeah, with one meat.

What kind of meat?

Pork meat.

What kind of meat?

Pork meat. I also need one boiled spaghetti. One unit.

Okay, I'm sorry, we don't have that kind of item here.

One unit of bread.

Okay, we don't have those kind of items here.

Okay, 32 units of sodium chloride.

Okay, well, if you'd like to make an order, you can go online and see what we have available then, okay?

okay here's one thing here's one thing bitch i know she has oil over there that's what i really

need we need a we need an order of horse curry man horsey cat curry dude let's leave those people

alone those white people moving right along here we are i am carlito the host of this show as i

said numerous times already and we are uh requesting your requests using the request

to prank machine over at madhouse live.com let me go ahead and take a look at those now that i have

have an opportunity lonesome ascending in more numbers we got kfc milkman yeah yeah we got

wingstop which is really a pizza hut motherfucker but yeah we got some mcdonald's they're all in

the same town in california okay i don't know maybe nunu has some kind of theme going on with

that i just noticed my mic is way too hot sorry guys try to fix that okay let me do a sonic drive

in here real quick and we'll get back to the request to play this is invalid phone number

because i failed to copy the whole thing stupid how milkman one and plus of it next time stupid

plus one me plus one me stupid fucking milkman as usual i gotta do something wrong when we

traditional yeah hi how are you i don't care how uh i wanted to just let you know you guys have

those things you pull into the machine you pull into the machine over there right god damn it

you pull into the machine over there to get the food oh come on no come on because i said damn

it once god get grow some skin you know fuck i swear we gotta get away from the white people

dude we gotta find some like more businesses dude let's like call some like ghetto ghetto

restaurant dude these people are all too frilly man they ain't gonna hang we gotta call the

building you could be we gotta call the building you live in yeah i try to um connect ted i try

try to connect Ted

Marilonweb, and he

don't answer. Hello!

Coño puta maricona!

Alright, she's not answering.

See ya. Mira, maricona.

Oh, that reminded

me, man. You remember

Bruno Vega? What the fuck, man?

Have you heard anything from our

boy, man, Bruno Vega?

Yes! The best

I've got is...

Oh my god. With

Reclude, I know the phone number

for the studio he works at yeah i do those name call it there's an option to speak to and it says

his name i know his first and last name and next time i'm back there dude i'm gonna stop in looking

up man yeah hello what's going on with this thing anyway listen yeah i know that the uh there's an

option to get to him and it brings his google voice number and it always goes to voicemail

i've left him voice was like hey regular i don't know if you check this anymore it's carlito from

back in the day just give me a call send me a text send me an email something that guy was

yeah his calls are legendary still dude i still laugh my ass off man yeah i don't know he may not

even check that google voice it might be an old fucking option on that voice tree who knows

yeah he's probably making some big ass money recording a bunch of fucking dicks man you know

getting free weed and shit still yeah well i mean he was like working with busy bone

right all kinds of free fucking yeah busybo smokes a ton of fucking weed oh yeah he was

working he was almost he almost worked with whitney houston remember and then there was

like some weird family crackhead drama and she canceled the whole thing hey honey how are you

hey hello hello motherfucker hello hey motherfucker how are you hey hi yeah listen i got the uh i

I ordered the five-piece.

I said specifically I wanted all dark, extra crispy.

I ended up coming home with a four-piece original mixed.

Motherfucker.

Okay, well, first, I'm confused as to why you're calling me.

Second, we don't have a five or six-piece, so you probably didn't order a four-piece added on a piece.

Whatever it is.

I apologize that the piece was missing.

She had that argument with me over the intercom, and I said,

I don't care you make it five pieces

You sell me the six piece throw the fifth away

I don't fucking care

I want five motherfucking pieces

In the fucking bucket

When you hand it over to me

And I told her how I wanted it

I wanted it extra crispy

Fucking extra crispy

I said that over the intercom

She's like but we ain't got no this

Let me tell you something

You know why every country

That's a majority ruled

By African descendants

transcendence never gets anywhere and always has problems do you know why that happens

um i'm not here for a history lesson if you want you can bring in the receipt and i will gladly

take a look at it um i'm the only girl that worked are you talking about tonight yeah it must have

been you then motherfucker huh okay if you want to bring in your receipt go ahead yeah i'll bring

it in we'll take a look at it i'll bring it in but if not if you're just gonna sit here and harass

If I'm going to show up, I'm going to shove it right in your face,

and I'm going to take those six pieces of shit that you gave me,

I'm going to dump them over your head.

You crazy fucking asshole.

You fucked a motherfucker.

Are you done throwing a fit?

Would you like me to compromise with you?

Oh, I've been working 18 hours.

That's exactly what he told me.

What?

That's exactly what he was back there telling me when I came by.

I've been working 18 hours.

Don't give me any shit, he said to me, is what he said when I tried to come back.

That guy back there, that motherfucker.

What guy?

That was a customer talking.

None of us.

Do you want to bring in your receipt?

And we can make a deal.

That's fine.

Otherwise, I don't need you harassing me.

Make a deal.

Shove it up your ass.

Okay.

Thank you.

Fuck.

Hello.

Yeah, what happened?

What?

Yeah, how are you?

I'm not doing very good.

How are you?

I was calling to make an order.

motherfucker calling to make an order yeah about a motherfucker yeah oh my god okay well thank you

for all right come on in not a problem i am very busy i have to get back to work yeah all right

whatever are you done no i command you to hang up the phone okay well i'm trying to resolve your

problem i'm not going to hand up hang up the phone when you're not at me there's a reason i don't

know what there's a reason why last week you guys admitted that you fell the second place in the

The United States for Chicken sells behind Chick-fil-A, isn't there?

This is proof.

Okay, hold on.

We don't have a Chick-fil-A in this county.

In the nation.

In the United States, I said.

You really don't hear.

Is there a man I can talk to?

I don't really think my manager wants to talk to you anyways.

I'm really sorry.

Like I said, if you would like to bring in your receipt and we can resolve this issue.

You're not even a fucking manager.

You're welcome to.

All right, that's nice.

That's nice, honey.

That's nice.

Okay, thank you.

Have a good night.

I command you to hang up the phone.

I don't understand.

I command you.

I command you to hang up now.

Yes, do it.

Okay.

She really did not like the sound of being commanded to hang up the phone, Milkman.

You hear that, Milky?

She was not a happy cat.

She's getting hot, man.

I can tell she's all wet, man.

She's not even the manager, bro.

She stayed under, though.

Listen, dear restaurant, this is Comcast speaking.

Hello?

Yes, I'd like to make an order, please.

We close at 8, sir.

Terra Madi Lambanchot.

Huh?

Terra Madi Lambanchot.

Kuta Maraicha.

I'm just saying.

Okay.

Hello?

Kuta Maraicha.

I'd like to make an order, please.

Yes, I'd like to make an order.

Terra Madi Lambanchot.

Souf Maraifwa.

No Punjabi.

I don't know what he's saying.

Whatever that is, it really pisses some people off.

Punjabi, dude.

Or Hindi, anyway.

anyway it all sounds the same to me but apparently bangladeshi and punjabi are different and i don't

know whatever yeah the universal language is hindi that's what everybody knows so that way

if you are bangladeshi or whatever you got your normal you know electoral language but the one

that everybody uses yeah but modertud and bansud are supposed to be hindi from what i understand

because like modertud they took it from the english people saying mother modder that's where

where that comes from

mother and mother

and they adapted it

so then what's

madarchod

when I say

madarchod and

bunchu

what dialect

the fuck is that

why is it so

complicated with

these fuckers

man

well dialect

means a

like a region

like a dialect

I know what a

dialect is

milkman

for fat

I'm gonna have

another

I like how you

did the

fuckory

I'm gonna have

another fitness

I'm gonna have

it on you

god mother

hijo puta

don't have a

stroke now

don't be too

Are you done having a fit?

I'm like, I'm just getting started.

She hung right in there, man.

She was interested in me.

She was intrigued.

I think she liked you, buddy.

She probably let you slap her around later.

Slap her in the face with a pepperoni stick.

Good.

Look at the head on that pepperoni stick.

Look at the head on this pepperoni stick, motherfucker.

Good.

All right.

Well, we're having fun tonight.

Let's take another Lonesome Ascending in more numbers.

But before that, let's take a look at Request a Prank.

let's share the wealth okay let me up the inbox see if that's working yet no i'm still not getting

any requester pranks enigma still working on it it's fine tuning the motherfucker did enigma get

you figured out there with the chat room look man look what happened the enigma get you worked out

with the chat room you got your ops and the admins and whatever oh i sent him a message man uh yeah

yeah he's working on it uh i think he's still away so i'll catch up with him all right he's working

He's working on the Request a Prank thing.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I know he's busy, man.

It's not of primary importance.

I'll catch up with him whenever it's not.

All right.

You got it, buddy.

All right.

Here is Nicole in Canada.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Nicole in Canada.

She's a big fan.

She's always on Facebook.

What's up, big Nicole?

Anyway, she sends a number for one of those scam artists, like the Windows.

They'll call you and say, your Windows XP sent a call back to Microsoft.

It's got a virus machine.

let's help you fix it now go to your c-prompt and they hacked you and it's an indian guy he's like

hello calling from microsoft received a notice that your computer is compromised so it looks

like they might have called her and looks like their incoming number no work i had one of these

numbers and i called it and and the guy like picked up and he said no no no i get uh well

my associate to call you back no problem and then i actually he actually called back like four or

or five times for a week he's like we gotta hit we gotta hit you know what i mean you know i never

picked it up because it was going to a dummy phone number but i could see the different attempts to

call in never left the voicemail but i could see it yeah and you know what sometimes i'll be just

sitting on skype and i'll get like i'll get those on like on skype the username says like uh you

You know, Windows Defender Alert, and you get a voicemail that says,

your computer has reported a problem, security flaw with Skype.

Please go to this website and install this program, too.

Really?

Yeah.

You've never gotten those?

Well, I haven't gotten them in a while because I turned off the thing where you get phone calls

if the person isn't on your friends list.

I have that, but I never, hardly ever turn it on.

I barely turn it on for the show, man.

So that's probably why

It seems to happen when I open a new Skype account

And I haven't checked that option yet

It comes in and I go oh I gotta go turn that off

It always wants me to fucking upgrade

And I don't even want to do that

Cause like it's working right now until it quits

I'm just gonna leave it alone

Yeah man let it live until it dies

Milkman that's what I say

Yeah fuck that you know how it is man

Once it's compatible with the drivers

Leave it alone dude I'm not upgrading mine

To Windows 19

I'm staying right here

yeah yeah hey have you got the fuck around with that windows 8 what do you think i've heard

different mixed reviews i heard it's not bad but i heard it's not like the berries either windows 8

yeah no i would wait until i would wait well 8.1 first of all would be the way to go not 8

and they're gonna have another update some point at some point this year they'll probably do the

xp trick and get this maybe get this thing uh running then maybe maybe i don't know see how

got some mixed reviews some people say it sucks i've heard both i heard you gotta relearn it too

it's like relearning the wheel well they're bringing back the start menu that was the big

thing they got rid of the start menu but they're bringing it back sometime this year with an update

there's going to be a probably a version one patch or what what is it called a service pack one

yeah windows 8.1 and that's that's going to restore it because if not you've got the metro

interface you know man because everybody's playing with the freaking you know with freaking

can touch screens man so like you know and i do like computers man but they you know if they can

get it running that's what i was hoping you know what happened you know i remember when xp first

came out everyone hated it because it looked different it's the same thing what happened was

microsoft wanted to go a different way they don't want to just sit there and be stagnant

so they had a really successful guy forget his name he's the guy that worked in the

microsoft office team which is one of their biggest commodities and he's the one that

introduced the ribbon format and at first people were like oh we hate it and now everyone's kind

of liking it kind of adopted it like you just accept it and you see the benefits actually

ribbon for office is it's really helpful it was jarring at first but when you finally got used to

like okay yeah it depends on what you're using it for yeah i know it depends like if you're using

like for an office environment like really an office environment it's the berries dude but

But anyway, that guy, so they put him in charge of the team that was working on Windows 8,

and he was like, we're going to go all in.

We're going to do the Metro interface, and it's going to be touch-based.

Even if you don't want touch-based, it's going to be touch-based.

And he lost his job because of it, and so did Steve Ballmer,

because he's the one that put faith in him, and he's out on his ass.

Now they got that Indian guy, or whoever, the guy they picked up from somewhere else.

He's the new dude, right?

I don't know who his name is.

I don't know.

Look, this isn't Silicon Valley talk.

All right, well, anyway, we just slipped into a quick minute of tech talk right along.

Yeah, this is Silicon Valley hour of milk, man.

I know, man.

Can you believe that shit?

The Silicon Valley 49ers, man.

The Santa Clara 49ers.

All glass and glass.

Cactus sends in a number for a pet clinic.

I tried to call these last week, I think, or yesterday, and they didn't answer.

Something like that.

Anyway, Cactus says, I think he sent this yesterday.

I did a show yesterday afternoon.

They probably won't pick up now, but I'll try it because I felt bad that I didn't call it.

But it's a pet clinic.

He was recommending some dog walking thing.

We can do that.

But I don't think they're going to answer.

That's very mean.

I don't think they're going to answer, guys.

Thank you for calling Petal Veterinary Clinic located at Catawba.

We are currently closed.

If you have a medical emergency, please hang up and call Tampa Bay Veterinary Emergency.

see yeah seven right wait no i was trying to get it friday by appointment only nine i actually was

trying to get it milkman hang on sorry i didn't want to spoil the call i thought it was don't

standard procedure yeah i won't man i'll just try to do the right thing sorry you're okay thank you

for calling petal veterinary clinic locate emergency at 727-531-5752 our hours on friday

Friday, by appointment only, 9 to 5.

So they got an emergency machine.

Oh, shit.

Dude, I used to live right down there, man.

Remember?

I was at Tampa St. Pete right there.

Yeah, that's right.

Marbos.

You ever been to that, like, killer-ass, like, Chinese, like, buffet, Marbos?

Veterinary emergency, this is Dawn.

I'm from Orlando, all right?

I'm sorry?

I'm from Orlando, all right?

Okay.

We're going to medevac my poodle over there for service.

Do you have a large parking lot?

Yes, we do.

All right, can we move a segment of the cars, kind of consolidate them

and move them towards the front of the building?

We're going to be laying.

We have a lot of room.

We wouldn't have to move any cars.

You don't have a helicopter pad there, do you?

No, we do not.

All right, so then, but we have enough room.

Is there a lot of trees or branches overhanging or anything, nice flat?

Yep.

We should be able to get a helicopter in there?

If you needed to.

All right, can you guys be ready with a stretcher for a horse machine?

That's the name of the poodle.

I'm sorry, with the what?

Horse machine.

A horse machine?

Yeah, we need a horse machine.

Do we have a horse machine?

Yeah.

No.

Okay.

All right.

I'm calling from Central Florida, Orlando Emergency Animal Hospital.

Mm-hmm.

We're on Chickasaw Drive.

Okay.

And we don't have the capacity to treat this poodle and the horse, so we're bringing it in.

And it says here on your website that you have a horse machine.

We only see cats and dogs.

We can't accommodate a horse.

Of course, we can definitely see the poodle.

All right, so they have a poodle machine then, a dog machine.

Do you have the dog machine?

What kind of machine are you meaning?

It goes on the dog to support it during the treatment.

We don't have one of those either, not a lot of them.

What type of treatment?

To save its life, of course.

What's wrong with the dog?

It's got a problem.

They're operating on it now.

I'm the receptionist.

I'm still in training.

Okay, do you want to hand me off to somebody who knows what type of treatment the dog needs

to be transferred over um well he's kind of does it need oxygen does it need a respirator does it

need it he just wrote let me see what he wrote down he said need one dog machine i'm sorry it

needs one dog machine two units of oxygen one

dog machine, two units of oxygen

There's no such thing as called a dog machine

So what type of machine do you need?

It's for the dog

It protects the dog

Following the procedure that they're doing now

Okay, do you want to hand me to somebody who

Knows technology and knows the type of

Instruments that are there

And what type of things are needed

Because there's no such thing as a dog machine

A horse machine or something that protects

The body of a dog

It goes on, and you turn it on.

You initiate the dog machine.

It has the counter.

It counts down from 10, and you set in the number of time that it needs,

and you set the beginning portion, how much oxygen machine it has,

and the oxygen machine.

An oxygen chamber?

No, no, it's a dog machine,

but it has, like, a separate oxygen chamber machine on the side.

It has separate oxygen chambers.

It's called a dog machine.

Oxygen chamber machine.

Good evening.

This is Ryan, one of the technicians here.

How are you?

Oh, is there a doctor there I could talk to?

She is in the middle of a case currently, but I should be able to...

Yeah, our dog is in...

They're in surgery right now.

We don't have a dog machine, so we're going to medevac.

We're going to get in medevac one and bring over this dog.

So you're transferring a dog over here?

Yeah, we're going to medevac the dog over there.

We're in Orlando.

We were going to go to Lakeland, but we didn't have enough time.

The dog isn't going to make it

Unless we get it on the dog machine

As soon as possible

They're working on it now

They're doing the suction and everything back there

So your dog machine

How does it go?

Depends which mode you want to use

I'm not too familiar

I'm still in training

And I'm planning on going to Valencia Community College

To get the veterinary assistant classes

And stuff like that

Because I was studying for phlebotomy now

now, but I really, my love is

animal machines, so...

Okay, right, right. Yeah. So,

the dog, and so...

I would put you on with the dog, but

like, he's, I don't know, I'm in the

room now. You guys are

handling it as a joke. It's really, it's a life

here at stake. They were laughing at a...

No, I heard her, I heard

what she said, exactly what I said and laughed

at it. She gawked at it. She's disgusting.

Yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty bad

here, so what we're gonna have to do is

actually, uh,

cancer, and you're going to have to go

to a different clinic. Okay, motherfucker.

Okay. You fucking asshole,

you. You're a fucking asshole.

You're going to do this to this dog? Seriously?

Can you just answer if you have a dog?

So, good luck, sir, and

I hope you have a wonderful evening.

Here's Dr. McClanahan. I actually have

him. Hello? Damn, I finally got

someone to pick up. I've been dialing people

at random, trying to get someone to pick up.

I need a doctor.

I'll try him again. Have you been listening

to what's happening with this call?

Yeah, hey, I'm transferring Dr. McClanahan.

Okay, hold on one moment.

All right, I'm hanging up and calling back.

Fuck those people.

Sorry, Ken.

Milkman's not...

Wait until they piss off Milkman.

He starts yelling that he's not playing games.

Veterinary emergency.

Yeah, I'm trying to transfer Dr. McClanahan over there.

I had to pull him out of a procedure for this.

What's going on?

Whatever.

Forget it.

Regard for veterinary life, man.

I mean, that's just amazing.

Well, the chick was funny.

And he was like

Feed him to the alligators

Yeah exactly

Throw him in the river

Throw him off the skyway bridge

In Tampa

Exactly man

You know what I like

Raspberry balsamic vinaigrette

Oh hell yeah man

That's a big pile of manatee shit

Okay

I wasn't thinking manatee shit

But alright man

Whatever you say bro

Okay

You've been to Tampa, dude, you know what I mean, man.

Yeah, that's a reasonable thing.

Oh, that fucking Tampa.

They think their shit doesn't stink over there.

Oh, yeah, well, I've had to use that.

Honestly, they do.

All right, look, let me just clear out some windows here.

I don't need it any longer, so I'm not so confused.

All right.

I'm looking back at Request a Prank.

Well, there you go, Mr. Cactus.

I finally got to do one of yours.

All right, here's a number for someone looking for an LG cell phone that was found.

Oh, no, they have one that was found at a Walgreens.

an lgbt cell phone cool dude lesbian gay bisexual transgender yeah it was found at

walgreens and turning the phone 80k oh no wait wait motherfucker this person lost their phone

at walgreens okay all right well let's make sure we get the reward down first that's the most

important you lose this cell phone i'm sorry what did you lose this cell phone machine i'm looking

looking at your pictures wow yes these are nice pictures very nice who are these children in here

they're mine oh yeah yeah oh yeah but you kept your body pretty well after the kids and all that

wow you look really good too nice what was your name um can i make sure and get the sound huh

uh where did you want to meet i want i want to make sure i'm going to download all the pictures

to my hard drive first uh do you have the cable do you have the cable that came with it so i can

do that or should i just get one why are you going to download the pictures well just so i

have a copy of them you live rogersville okay so um yeah i think i have a cable around here

what i'll do is i'm just going to connect it to my my macbook and i'll transfer all that you have

a lot you have a few a few jigs hello so are you able to make me with it tonight uh i don't know

how it'll probably take a little while to transfer the pictures over is it necessary to transfer my

my pictures to your computer just in case yeah hello hey how you doing buddy what's going on

bubba you got my phone i have your wife's phone i think per the looking at the no actually it is

my phone oh you got some beautiful children by the way let me just say that first god bless him

god bless you yeah i'll get it back to you but um i think i have one of the data cables like the

transfer cables i think i have around here if not i'm gonna stop at walmart i think they carry it

there i'm just gonna transfer the pictures first and then i'll meet you guys i'll get it to you

no problem who is this this is eddie what eddie where did you get my phone from walgreens where

did you you saw it on the table and you picked it up no it was a walgreens i don't understand

why are you talking about table it was a walgreens it was on the floor like okay do you know where

the school supplies were it was kind of like on the floor under like what they call an end cap

Okay, I don't, oh, okay, all right.

Yeah.

All right, you found it at Walgreens, all right.

Yeah, it's cool.

Yeah, anyway, so.

I need my phone back, and there should be no, no other, should be my phone handed back to me.

I'm going to check your apps out.

The apps look pretty cool here.

I'm looking.

Well, if you're going to, you know, you know, that's not necessary.

You're just going to, pretty much, property.

I appreciate you finding it.

To be quite honest.

And letting me know you had it.

To be quite honest.

But the truth is, you get it back, and I'll be fine with it.

Sir, sir, sir, to be quite honest, if it was your property, you would have it in your hands right now.

I'm the one that has it.

I'm going to give it back.

It's yours.

Sure, yeah.

Look, smartass.

Why?

Why are you calling me smartass?

I'm going to get it back to you.

I'm trying to make arrangements.

Look, you just give it back to me.

You make some...

You make...

Hey, what?

Oh, he hung up.

What the fuck?

He hung up for some reason.

Oh, shit.

You're smartass.

He was trying to get heated.

I knew I was waiting

He's coming to a slow simmer

And kids there you have it

What the fuck happened to his phone

How the shit does that happen

He was in the middle of talking to me

You know what I mean

Like he just dropped

It almost seems like he didn't pay his cell phone bill

Like they literally just cut it off as we're on the line

That's what I think happened

i've never had that happen to me before because it's straight up failing

there must be some kind of outage maybe his battery died that sucks that was hilarious

shit that's because that it didn't say disconnect it just said not available

you're so close and he was incredulous about the pictures i was i was saying dude i'm gonna

i'm trying to what the fuck i'm gonna get it back to you i'm just telling you i got it and i'm gonna

down with the pictures then it must have some dirty pictures on there shit hey how are you you

lost that dog yeah okay all right i saw it but now i saw that motherfucker did you yeah he's a

mama it's a fucking motherfucker dog you know i don't know that it's a motherfucker i got two

dogs missing all right well i got one missing well i got one missing dog over here why did

they run away what happened it run away yeah what happened i don't know what happened let

Let them loose one day and then just disappeared.

Why did you let them loose?

Like, when you were drinking and said,

Oh, this is going to be fun.

Let the motherfuckers go.

Is that what happened?

No.

Who are you?

I'm Eddie.

I live in a horse...

Eddie.

Yeah, I'm over here in Horse Machine Ranch Road.

And the silver dog, the schnauzer, she's pretty.

She's really pretty.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I've got her in my garage.

And I was feeding her tuna.

Tuna?

What?

Tuna?

That's all I got.

Oh, okay.

It was either that or expired bologna.

Oh, okay.

yeah okay now where you at uh it's tuna i gave it like four cans of tuna okay i also gave it a

chocolate candy bar yeah yeah and it kind of got a problem wow what i don't know this dog's like

it's doing that shit like like that okay all right i just want to let you know what's the

reward situation like okay i'll pass on that yeah you go ahead and keep your 50 bucks all right buddy

I don't know.

Oh, it's okay.

Don't worry about it.

All right.

I'll see you later.

What about my dog?

Probably raise it.

My daughter loves it.

My daughter's been hanging out with the dog all afternoon.

Right?

Yeah.

We'll be friends.

You're going to tell me you're going to keep my dog?

Well, I mean, your reward's like 50 bucks.

It's like, eh, you know, I don't know.

It's a lot of trouble.

Yeah, a lot of trouble.

Well, my daughter's kind of attached to the fucker already.

We were calling her Whitey already.

What's her name?

This.

I'm going to call her Queenie.

I think Queenie.

Queenie, Queenie, and she's here.

Hey, Queenie.

She's wagging her tail.

She's really happy.

I'm sure she is.

Oh, she ate so much tuna like a motherfucker.

Four cans of tuna.

I just kept giving her tuna, tuna, and she's like, blah, blah, blah, like that.

Oh, she's awesome.

Here you go, Queenie.

Yay, Queenie, da-da, yay, Queenie, da-da.

Aw.

Okay.

Well, yeah, hopefully you found the other dog.

I'm sure he'll show up.

If I see that, because I can't raise two dogs,

so if i find the other one i'll let you know oh we can maybe meet meet at the taco bell what we

can maybe meet at the taco bell if i find the other dog i'll let you know because i can't keep

two dogs that's too many animals we already have an indoor cat and she's already like her tail is

like massive right now and she's been backed in the corner and in her litter box it's the only

two places she's gone all day it's nuts poor chloe that's my cat's name yep so yeah queenie's awesome

Austin, do you know any, does Queenie have any problems, anything, and is she fixed already, or?

Where are you located?

I'm on Horse Machine Ranch Road.

Horse Machine Ranch Road?

Yeah.

Where's that at?

How'd they get the dogs?

Huh?

How'd you get the dogs?

I just have one.

I know, how'd you get that dog?

She was on my property.

Well, where's Horse Machine Road at, Mom?

Huh?

Where's Horse Machine Road at?

Horse Machine Ranch Road.

Horse Machine Ranch Road, where's that at?

where's that at rogersville i'm new here i just bought this property i'm from new york you see

i've retired and i'm out here all right well well that's that's besides the point yeah i don't know

the area i mean it's in rogersville you can probably google you got a computer machine

yeah is it in town or is it in the country country for sure no i got five acres way out

out of here i got a crick we're going to see my motherfucker over here and yeah i got a barn

out there we have a horse masturbate the horse all the time i'm glad you do that yeah and i ride

the motorcycles i do donuts of the motorcycle and everything so anyway queenie was over here

hanging out i guess she was like trying to find food i said hey queenie come in you know well i

didn't know i didn't say queenie it was like hey doggie doggie and my daughter was like oh my god

can we keep it so yeah sure yeah sure no problem and then i was listening to the radio and they

the guy talked about it the guy was like and you know you know one guy on the radio yeah he read it

out about this and i said son of a bitch i think that's that motherfucker right there yeah yeah

and sure enough yeah so look at that yeah so i guess she got away yeah well she's she's cool

yeah all right what's your name again eddie eddie what eddie cross eddie what cross oh yeah craw

Crawl.

With a K or C?

Crawl.

With a claw.

Claw?

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, wait.

Oh.

Just like it sounds.

Do what?

Just like it sounds.

Eddie Crawl.

Okay.

All right.

I'll give you a call if the other one shows up, because like I said, I can't raise two

dogs, but...

Well, we're not trying to let you raise two dogs, buddy.

Well, I'm not trying to either.

I can't.

My wife would kill me.

How are you?

No, I...

Danny, how are you?

yeah um how did you come about the dog the dog came on my goddamn property well the dog can't

come from this road till you live yes she did she's here right uh call her little britches and

say she knows her name her name is queenie now i'm not calling her that that's her old life

that's we're not calling her any britches or whatever little britches no no no her name is

queenie queenie queenie she's still learning her new name queenie oh she's just a happy little

puppy hey little girl what did you say to call her little brick little britches little britches

her head went up a little bit though she's like whatever well i'm i was just saying i mean that

dog couldn't come all the way across town from uh she did she was probably i don't know she in

heat or something i don't know no and unless she went through the mountains yes well she did maybe

she was chasing something a boy dog or something but now i got queenie oh well there's another dog

and it's her daughter well i don't know i don't have the other dog the other dog isn't here maybe

she didn't make it maybe the other dog died on the mountain for all i know i don't know maybe

she'll show up if she shows up i'll call you let you guys know to come pick uh what's the other

her dog's name uh marley marley a little britches marley all right if marley shows up i'll let you

guys yeah but uh she's a smaller dog she's got yorkie in her uh she's probably stupid

she's probably stupid no she ain't stupid then why is she home well it's because uh she follows

other dogs well there you go you're asking me how the stupid motherfucker got over here

i've got horses and cats and chickens over here that's probably why they came over here looking

going to start trouble no i wasn't starting trouble well it's just one anyway yeah queenie

your dog the one that showed up here whatever you call her britches or whatever she was here

ready to start trouble she was ready to go in my garden and eat food out of my garden and shit

everywhere and yap at my horse and my horse gets crazy arturo he's my horse oh my god he gets so

mad he bit me once right on the elbow i beat the fuck out of him what do what now oh how do we get

to your house i'm on horse machine ranch road like i said i just moved here three weeks ago

with my wife and daughter uh what it's 410 horse machine ranch road what'd you say i'm trying to

I'll write this down.

I got that.

What's the address?

What's the number?

410.

It's in the Meatspin subdivision.

Meatspin.

Do you have a computer?

I can tell you where to go.

It has instructions.

No, I don't have no computer.

You're fucking stupid, too.

What in the hell do you think you are?

Who the fuck do you like that, buddy?

Who the fuck are you talking to?

Do you have a computer?

Trust me, bitch.

I'll come over and I'll bust your shit.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

Don't you fucking talk to me like that, you motherfucker.

Motherfucker, who you talking to like that?

Boy, what the fuck you talking to my mother like that?

Your mother?

I thought she was your, like, your...

I got you, motherfucker, dude.

She was your girlfriend.

I got you.

You tell me to write a dress, I'll be over there picking my dog up.

410 Horse Machine Ranch Road.

Queenie is my dog, but if...

No, Queenie is not your dog.

It's not her name, buddy.

It is now.

She loves a name.

I don't know who the hell you talking to.

Queenie.

I don't know who I'm talking to.

Oh, shit, man.

Oh, shit.

Queenie, bro.

All right, let's try to call back.

You're a Queenie Laker chick.

That proves she's yours now.

What was your name?

You're a girl.

I'm a fucking boy ready to go badass.

Oh, damn.

You're a shit cracker, bitch, man.

Listen to him talking about you.

I'm going to bust your shit.

Curse at me.

I know them boys, and I'll work with them.

Hello?

You fucking curse at me, I'll bust your shit.

Well, come on, buddy.

Yeah, bring it on, motherfucker.

Who, Yankee?

Motherfucker, you.

Oh, motherfucker, you?

Yeah.

You know how to get the horse machine?

You're so stupid, you don't even know.

Shit.

At least he's still picking up.

What's up?

Hey.

What's going on?

You got me fucked up.

Who is this dude?

Hello, this is the phone company.

How can I help you?

Oh, I heard you say your phone.

This is Valente with the phone company.

How can I help you?

I don't know.

I got the wrong number.

Were you tracing a call?

Pardon me?

Were you tracing a call?

you came to the national call tracing center oh no then what's your fucking problem what you're

calling the national call tracing center were you trying to trace a harassing call

let's hang on see if they pick yeah they're gone who was she trying to call what number was that

i was like i'm gonna try to call the local police department it was a regular phone number yeah it

was like a seven digit number dude so they sound like she did had it in speed dial so she's calling

On somebody she knows

Yeah

Are you trying to trace a number

Oh no

What the fuck is your problem

Yeah

Ken tell them you're calling back

That someone called you

From this number

Some old lady called you

From this number

Hello

Who called me from this number

I got this number on my caller ID

Hope you were something

Some old broad

Called my uh

Called my cell phone here

I know somebody

With this telephone number

Called me

They didn't leave a message

No you all called

Fucking bitch

You called me

You're a fucking

Son of a bitch

How about that

You damn dick sucker

Dick or what, bitch?

Tell them you got the dog.

If they don't come correct.

Oh, my God.

Can't rape that dog.

Take your call.

Please leave a message.

I'm going to piss on that dog.

We have the dog guy here in the chicken coop.

You there?

I'm not picking up.

That'd be an interesting voicemail.

Yeah.

It's an answer machine.

We probably could have hacked the motherfucker, too.

You know those motherfuckers don't set a change to default password.

Oh, yeah.

Nobody ever changes that shit.

You know they don't

Half of them don't even know they can remote access

Yeah

They're like

She didn't sound very pleased with you there, mono

No, of course not

Because I was being all mean and nasty

She seemed rather disappointed

Fuck you

You dick sucker

Alright

Back to Lonesome Loser

Where we have

A lost iPhone

Oh, what, you're posting a number here, Ken?

What is this?

This is Ballard

Oh

This isn't the one that we hacked last week

Is someone else?

i know we had ballards but

you want to fight he is a quick hangout

he didn't want to pick up for us last night

you got sheep fuckers number we check on yeah i sure do oh i have it too

automatic voice message 50 he fixed his shit

the prostitute is one of these guys a prostitute no you said the guy at the

The pontoon bow, that's what I was asking.

She-fucker is the pontoon bow guy, right?

Okay, okay.

No, he's a different dude.

I've got the pontoon guy also.

Oh, yeah.

I wonder if he changed his shit.

Ah, he did?

Motherfucker.

Damn.

All right, well, let's mess with this guy.

That sucks.

Yeah, you're right.

He did change it by the next day he had changed it.

Yeah, I remember now.

Yeah, Milkman, he caught on.

This is the one who likes to be shorted.

All right.

this is the guy that keeps texting me

try to connect Sheepfucker and Ballard together

your call has been forwarded to an

automatic voice message system

ok well neither

alright here is

someone has an American

two piece hutch for sale

actually I don't want to call that

I take that back what I want to call

was the Lonesome Loser numbers

I lost my iPhone

at the Bocoma Casino

on Friday night the 4th

laid it down by a slot machine walked away somebody picked it up well no shit it is of no use to

anyone but me well i got the cable that hacks it i have a lifetime of contacts on a phone that

were not backed up i will give a hundred bucks which one i don't know no questions asked for

that phone please and i will come pick it up please call or text billy all right billy ho

here we go here we go billy ho it helps if i click add to conference yes hello

you lost the iphone at the casino you lost the

iphone at the casino i just hooked it up to my macbook i got into it i have a cable uh i jail

jailbroke it yeah yeah jailbroke the iphone already so i'm going to go through the uh contacts

i don't really have any use for these um but you got quite a few emails here calendar stuff i'll

take those you got a whole bunch of pictures too how long you been taking pictures for with this

thing yeah yeah i found it yeah i hooked it up to my laptop i have a program that jailbreaks iphone

so i got in i can see i see all the jpegs and the pictures so i'm going to copy all the pictures

real quick and your contacts i'm going to copy them i'm going to make a backup of your email

inbox also and all your text messages i'm going to back that up i'm going to make copies of my

computer my laptop and oh you got a lot of apps here too that's neat okay yeah yeah so when did

you it's going to take me about two hours to download all your stuff off your phone your

pictures and everything and your phone numbers um you want to maybe meet tomorrow morning

Um, I'm actually working right now.

I'm out of town.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, shit, motherfucker.

Well, then, uh...

Well, you're a motherfucker, then.

I ain't gonna do what you want me to do about it.

I can't help you.

All right, I'll just keep it, then.

I'm gonna download the pictures.

I'll just keep the phone, then.

Hello?

Yeah.

What's the matter with you?

Why are you just sitting there like a dumb fuck?

I do all this shit on the telephone.

I do those shits on the telephone, yeah?

I blow a train whistle.

Fucker right

What a motherfucker

I am

Whatever

Call him back

Sounded like he was

Talking to someone

Back there

Maybe they'll pick up

You're one of them

People

You're one of them

People

You're one of them

Motherfuckers

Guys I'm gonna end

The show in 15 minutes

I can't explain why

We have an emergency here

And I have to learn

The show

End the show in 15 minutes

Or less

Something has come up

What do you want

From the mail

I have confirmation

I'm gonna end the show

Early tonight

Something just happened

I got proof

I finally figured out

Who someone is

They fucked up big time

and I'm going to actually go focus my efforts on gathering all the information here that I already had

and I'm going to plan my next course of action for tomorrow night and Saturday.

Get out of your fucking world.

No, seriously.

I've already compiled a whole bunch of information on it from different sources.

So you're going to steal my identity?

If you're involved in this.

This has been going on since 2009.

I already compiled a whole bunch of information on these two guys.

it's really it's gonna be really sick what happens to homeboy now it's really bad like i got some

sick stuff planned fuck well yeah it really has nothing to do with you what did you when do you

come back to town a couple weeks yeah all right well yeah just give you give me a call you got

my number right buddy yeah i do oh yeah if i feel like it what i mean if i give you a call you're

gonna give me my phone if i pick up yeah all right what that's probably when i get back all right

asshole motherfucker bye whatever fuck that guy he doesn't seem very interested in getting his

phone back i'd be like oh yeah yeah man send it to me or give it to my girlfriend but that mom

that mom was pretty happy with you though yeah should we call the dog people in 15 minutes

we said 20 okay something like that

oh we'll call back see if their number is back in service are you gonna fuck somebody up who was

it the lg phone right that was the one that i was gonna was that the one that disconnected in the

the middle yeah he was starting to get heated because i told him i was going to download the

pictures off his wife's phone his wife i mean his phone he came back he came back actually that's

my phone motherfucker this town's got to know that i just prank called a shit out of him it's

such a small town in the middle of nowhere i'm surprised these people even let they even let

this shit happen anymore like they're actually letting uh people post ads and stuff on this

site that i use it's hilarious i keep waiting for them to have like a big announcement we're

aware that there is a person or persons who target those who are using the swap shop website

please be aware hello did you call me yes i was gonna see if you could make my turn our phone

oh you have a baby there yes are you breastfeeding well are you it sounds like you're breastfeeding

my wife breastfeeds oh that's good i like to watch it what i like to watch when she does it

what i like to watch when she does it and i make a noise like that look she has two boobs i can

can grab one baby gets younger anyway yeah i have the phone but i'm the download process just

started it says it's going to take 92 minutes so just to be safe two hours from now did you want

to meet at the taco bell you're downloading my pictures just to make a backup of them for my

computer i have the phone here i just want to make sure that you know they don't get lost and

that i can see them it's kind of late what are you driving what is your name eddie eddie what

Qua.

Eddie, what?

Qua.

Qua?

Qua.

How do you spell that?

Just like it sounds, Qua.

Okay.

So what are you going to be driving in two hours?

Silver 1999 Honda Accord.

Or I'll take my wife's car, which is an 88 Ford Escort.

I don't really think it's necessary for you to download my pictures.

It's already started, but seriously, I don't know if it's necessary because I found the phone, you know.

It's like a little gimme.

I saw some kind of funny pictures in there, so just to make sure I get to see them all.

Yeah.

They flash by on the screen while they download.

Like I see the baby.

There's a few baby pics here.

Oh, that's the baby you're breastfeeding.

Nice.

Oh, what a cute baby.

Is it a girl?

It looks like a girl.

Aw.

Look at the tits on this lady.

Yeah.

I wish I was breastfeeding.

Get a hole on them balloon bags.

Nurse the shit out of them.

Feel like a baby suckling on a fucking basketball.

And I'd rip the glove on you.

You know what I'm saying?

I'd rip the glove inside of you.

you rip it all up have another baby it's not your first chick oh so you're gonna make me in two

hours is that right oh this should be done downloading in two hours yeah yeah so taco bell

two hours i'll be i'll be in my uh black ford escort 1988 old fucking piece of shit car

in a black ford escort old 1988 ford escorts a fucking cocksucking piece of shit car it's the

gross what color is the honda the honda silver but i'm not gonna drive it because it's in the garage

and I've got to deal with the alarm system and all that.

It sounds, yeah, you know, you've got an alarm system there, too.

You know how it is, right?

I saw in your pictures your information on the phone that you have an alarm system in your house.

It came up in your email.

Okay, I'll be back in two hours and make sure you're on to me.

Yeah.

Who's your alarm system company?

So I could call them, right, and get them to, like, turn it off during the day if I had to?

I think so.

I've got their information here.

Yeah, I'm making a backup of your email, too.

It's pretty cool

This is a nice little phone

You got here

It's nice

It's dope

Alright well listen

You take care of that baby

I'll see

Oh she's gone

You know she's breastfeeding

You can hear the baby

Sitting there

Mwomp mwomp mwomp

Baby on the phone

Starts talking

Hey mom

Less talking

More tits

Yeah

Come on mom

Come on

Oh boy

Oh vile

Who are you gonna fuck up Carlito

You gonna fuck somebody up

Yeah we gotta call that guy

The dog

Little dog

I feel bad now

Ladies

Go over there

are dealing i feel like i'm afraid like i woke up the baby maybe and she's having to breastfeed it

to get her to go to sleep i'm an asshole it sounds like it's a newborn newborn her 14 year old

george seriously yeah george is like one perverted motherfucker i love looking at the shit he ties

hey boy hey hey did you were you coming or what was going on because i'm going to go to sleep if

not well you can go and go sleep buddy okay all right dude you want to meet tomorrow do you want

gonna come over tomorrow or y'all won't come over you said you wanted to come over listen i'm gonna

i'm gonna get something straight yeah to you buddy what's up man you don't have to lie you

don't have to goddamn call and you don't have to do all this stupid shit my buddy listen all we

want is a dog listen you don't have to do nothing stupid the dog is happy with us you're in knoxville

now if you want to play games and shit we can play games there's no problem with that but you

ain't gonna sit here and talk shit my phone number's from knoxville you're really stupid

Yeah, well, you're really stupid because there's not no horse ranch fucking in that damn fucking

horseville, buddy.

Well, yeah, well, your face is slow as fuck.

Okay, right.

So it don't matter, okay?

Listen, you just come on over here, bring the doll, and I'll give you the money.

Be done with it.

and everything, a little water bowl.

Well, either way, I'm going to get my dog back.

Either way.

What do you mean, either way?

What's the alternative?

Don't worry about it.

What's the alternative, motherfucker?

What?

What's the alternative you got, motherfucker?

You going to come here?

Don't worry about the alternative, motherfucker.

Yeah, right.

If you got it, come on with it.

If you're looking up shit on the computer, look up Ruby Ridge and see if you're going

to get the dog, motherfucker.

What?

Look up Ruby Ridge.

Ruby Ridge?

Yeah, motherfucker.

Where the hell is Ruby Ridge at?

Yeah.

No.

No, yeah, that's where I live, Ruby Ridge.

So don't be coming here trying to start trouble and taking Queenie from me, motherfucker.

Listen, buddy.

Yeah, right.

You don't have to call me no motherfucker.

This ain't no Elian Gonzalez, motherfucker.

This ain't no boy, shit, motherfucking shit, dude.

This shit is over and over.

Let me ask Queenie.

Queenie.

Do you want to go back with the ugly, scary man?

Queenie says no.

It's all right with me.

Listen, when my daughter wakes up, I'll ask her if she's okay giving you guys Queenie back.

Or do you even have a daughter?

No, I have a daughter.

I'm glad she has a dad like you.

Like what?

I'm a great father, motherfucker.

You might be, but you ain't right now acting like this.

I make $152,000 a year, motherfucker.

What do you make?

How much?

$152,000 a year, motherfucker.

What, a fucking dick?

Motherfucker, don't act crazy.

Motherfucker, I'm an attorney, motherfucker.

I don't care if you want an attorney.

It don't matter to me.

Hey, attorneys don't make that goddamn much money unless you're sucking somebody's dick.

I'm friends with all the judges in town.

Bang them on.

It don't matter to me.

I don't care who the fuck you got.

Whatever.

I'm just saying, I'm a Freemason, motherfucker.

Freemason?

I'm a motherfucking ass.

You can lie all you fucking want, buddy.

Right.

There isn't Freemasons, bitch.

I'm a Freemason, motherfucker.

What the fuck are you, a whore?

Freemason.

Oh, don't sit here calling me up and talking shit like this.

You dumb.

The fuck you think I am, third grade?

Yeah, what do you work at, boy?

What do you do?

Don't worry about that.

I wish I was.

It'd be a lot better than what I have to do.

Yeah, where do you work at?

The Brake Factory?

Where do you work at, buddy?

I don't worry about that.

Okay, whatever.

All right.

Just call and fuck with me.

I'll play with you.

Like some fucking whore would.

I'll play with you.

You know what?

I'm going to free Dwight.

Dwight, get him.

How you doing, you son of a bitch?

You want to talk to my buddy like that?

Huh?

Keep it up.

I'm going to take this dog out to the fucking shed here.

I'm going to show him what it's like to get some Dwight meat.

Fine, do it.

I'm going to put some Dwight meat all up in that dog's head.

You don't marry me, buddy.

Yeah, I'll take some video and I'll fucking send it to you.

I'll go get your fucking wife or mother, whichever it is, all wet and shut.

Come over there.

I'm going to show your fucking mother what it's like to have a good time.

I'm going to give her all four inches of hard dick I got.

Don't matter, she'll love it.

Then you're going to see him, like, you sit down and fucking watch it.

Does Queenie like peanut butter?

Man, y'all are some fucked up.

We're doing a lot of, like, drugs, heroin and stuff.

Sure you are.

I'm gonna micro shit fucking Queenie. That just proves. That's our fucking dog now. We're doing poppers

Let me talk to your mom

Let's talk to that bitch mommy yours

Your fucking daddy in a week talk to your fucking

Bothers me, but it don't

Stay on the 30 more fucking seconds buddy

it are you gonna trace us don't worry about it just sit here on this fucking phone with me or

and i'll show you all right i got a trace buster motherfucker you can trace me too buddy or trace

bus me whatever you want to fucking do i already know where you're at it don't matter me this is

an educated motherfucker he must have went to phoenix university telephone tough guys gonna

trace us yeah no it's better than that oh he's driving a truck right up our ass right now he

He gets down like that, he's gay.

Yeah.

You can tell every time this guy gets fucked in the ass,

I'm blissful out of nowhere blows.

Yeah.

So, hey, did you know about the Heartbleed bug that they found in OpenSSL?

No.

They found a flaw in OpenSSL.

Like, a lot of websites use it as their encryption.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, there was actually, like, a bug in it,

and, like, people's usernames, passwords, and data

was all being leaked out for years.

Yeah.

I was using it on my router here to SSL to shell into my router from work, man.

It's kind of scary.

Like, who knows if people were seeing the traffic.

Because what I would do at work, they had Facebook blocked, so I would open Putty, a Putty client,

and I would shell into my router at home, and then I would surf.

What?

I would surf using Firefox with an extension in it that would use that secure connection through the point-to-point, the P2P tunnel.

Yeah, don't interrupt him, motherfucker.

He's telling the truth.

Well, you've got to make sure that you also set up your DNS to use that because if not, they know exactly where you're going because you're doing DNS queries on your local network.

Yeah, totally.

I learned that.

Enigma taught me that.

He passed the CCNA this week.

Okay?

Yep.

All right.

Anyway, yeah, dude, change your passwords.

Okay?

All right.

That's it.

All right, dude.

Much love to your mother.

I command you to hang up the phone.

You rock.

Yeah.

That's all right, bud.

All right, I'll keep you on, motherfucker.

Has it been 30 seconds yet?

Probably has been 30 seconds, yeah.

So is the shit on?

Did we get done goofed?

What was supposed to happen after 30 seconds?

I don't understand.

I think he was finishing fingering his asshole.

What's your mom doing over there?

Is she touching herself?

She's cooking me some fucking pancakes.

Is your mom over there parting the hairs?

Open that one.

Open up, Mom.

I actually got to get to sleep.

It's midnight, and I really am tired.

I got to work tomorrow.

You got all that attorney shit to do, right?

Yeah, I got real work to do tomorrow, yeah.

So I was already going to end the show.

Oh, Mom.

Who wouldn't be talking this shit next time?

All right.

All right, well, hey, man, I'm sorry to get...

I don't have your dog.

I don't know anything about the dog.

It was just fun.

Yeah, it was fun for me, too.

You're not mad, are you?

No, never was.

Oh, I'm mad...

But you don't need to talk crazy like that shit to my mother.

I was just joking

And tell her I'm sorry

I had a mother too

We were just trying to get you angry

You can't get me angry brother

I know all about this shit

It's bullshit

I already know

Your mom is probably a saint

I'm sorry

Your mom isn't a saint?

No

So she's a dirty whore

What is she then stupid

You're really dense

intense aren't you hey you are too okay so do you work at a brake factory or what do you do

i work in the coal mines yeah all right buddy i'm glad you had fun yeah sorry to bother your mom

she sounds like a sweet lady okay and we don't have i hope you find doggies you're what is it

britches candy britches and who uh yeah little little bitches little bitches yeah i hope we said

hi yeah do you know tucker mike that's that's who i am my name is tucker mike mike tucker yeah my

My name's Mike Tucker.

I live here in Tennessee.

I'm sure you do in Knoxville.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, Mike Tucker.

You didn't have to lie.

I mean, damn, dude.

You think I'm five?

Yeah.

I know.

I'm an artist.

I draw comic books.

I have a problem with, like, the boobs.

They don't ever come out right.

But I do that, and I know Muck Sticky.

He's a rapper.

Who?

Muck Sticky.

You ever heard of him?

No.

Yeah, he's...

All that low shit.

Yeah, well, he's...

He was a rapper out of Memphis or something.

So, yeah.

All right, motherfucker.

fucker all right so you know who i am now yeah i guess that's a fake name too as usual no mike

mike talker is my name well whatever it don't matter i don't really give a shit as long as i

mean if you want to lie and tell me you got my dogs or if you don't want to got my dog or whatever

the fuck you know it don't matter but you're right crazy you're right you're right there was

no need there was no need for that and i'm very sorry i true sir i'm really sorry and i will make

it up to you i'm imploring all the people who are listening right now that if you know any

any information

of these two dogs,

please contact

this gentleman

and let him know

that if you have

any information

that could lead

to the successful

recovery of their bodies,

please let us know.

It's great.

I'll know.

Okay.

I really got to get this.

I usually go off

for another hour,

but I'm tired tonight.

All right.

Have fun.

You're a friend

or whatever you do.

Yeah, yeah,

he parts his asshole cheeks

and I just go right in there

and blah, blah, blah.

Yeah.

You lube it, don't you?

I was spitting.

I haven't drove yet, baby.

Spit, man.

That's all I need.

All right.

See you later, buddy.

Bye.

All right.

This is a good sport, huh?

Yeah.

No, seriously, I got to work tomorrow.

And if it wasn't that I stayed up to listen to Turbo last night, I wouldn't be so tired

right now, and I would keep going.

But I didn't take a break.

I was going to take a break at 1130, and I did it in lieu of keeping going.

Did you, before you go, did you happen to hear that prank that Turbo did over in New

New Zealand would be, I think it was some type of mental health place.

I think so.

Where he was pretending to be a kid.

He's like, Daddy, I need more cocaine and shit like that.

Vaguely, vaguely.

I remember the talking.

I remember it was keeping me up.

I was trying to fall asleep and I was waking my ass up.

Well, he had me pretend to be his dad.

And I'm like, I got to give him some help.

He's trying to fuck his sister.

He said his sister smells like turkey on rye or some shit like that.

And the lady's like, oh, that's very disturbing.

Ew, funny.

We always have a good time.

Any night that Turbo's on, he does a good job.

Any of the hosts here do a good job.

Oh, yeah, for one, I understand.

I don't know if you were privy to this information.

I think Jaiad's going to be back tomorrow.

He kind of confirmed it with me today.

He had a plan.

He had a phone mob.

He's trying to plan a phone mob.

He sent me something to confirm that he was going to be here.

Yeah, he's got some kind of phone mob thing going on.

He sent me a YouTube link.

I didn't get to see it yet, but I'm looking forward to that.

I watched, like, 30 seconds of it, and I didn't get it.

Okay.

All right, I'll try to watch it.

Yeah, all right, Ken, I'm going to let you go, so Milkman can do his outro.

Thanks for being on.

See you later, man.

Thanks a lot, Ken.

All right, Milkman, again, I'm sorry.

I'm cutting it like an hour short, but no break, and I did start right on time.

It's all right now, man.

Hey, we did good, man.

We covered a lot of ground, actually.

Yep, yep, yep.

Take us out of here, man.

We had a pretty good call.

We met a lot of call requests out there.

We got a lot of people in the chat room who seemed very pleased.

So if you didn't get to the chat room, definitely come by the chat room here.

We've got a very nice chat

We're going to call Nation

I'd like to thank everybody that stopped by

All the friends over there in the mouth

Thank you so much, our great friends

And always, all fists held high

For our numbers hit men

That's right, the lonesome loser

Thank you so much, sir

I'd like to thank everybody that stopped in

I'd like to thank our guest caller, Mr. Ken

And everybody else that didn't make it

Thank you as well

And I'd like to thank all of our friends, especially you

That's right, our listeners

there's this every week most interactive show you can find right here on the internet we drop the

dime we just ask that you give us the time and bring a friend or better yet bring an enemy because

they're always welcome right here in the madhouse hermanito delisimo the madhouse my brother man the

master of the call man thank you so much brother man much peace and love all right asshole thank

you milkman for regaling me with your presence today i'm glad that we are still getting along

Well, awesome.

Again, I did do it.

Another good thing about doing shorter shows is that they're much easier for me to edit.

Uh-huh.

But I will be on next Wednesday in the afternoon, and I will also be on next Thursday night.

I will try to go the full three hours.

I will get my rest.

I will not listen to Turbo.

I will listen to him recorded the next day on the mixer or showreel at work.

There you go.

That's what I should have done.

I wasn't responsible last night, and now you guys are suffering because of it.

But it is what it is.

Hermano, you just want to have some fun, man.

You got caught up in the fun of the moment.

Yeah.

All right, I'm out of here.

See you later, Milkman.

I'll talk to you tomorrow or something.

Peace, man.

Bye, Milkman.

We love you.

Bye.

Hey.

Calls (17, 1 h 4 min of 1 h 56 min)

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