Baby Come Back

Welcome, I'm Brian Ross, Chief Investigative Correspondent for ABC News.

And today we have an exclusive inside look at the internet scam that has been sweeping this country.

Millions of Americans have been targeted.

You little monkey.

You bastard.

You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast.

Basic civil defense information from the Department of Defense, Office of Civil Defense, Washington.

If an enemy nuclear attack ever occurs, many areas of the nation would be threatened by radioactive fallout.

If there is public shelter nearby, go to it.

Or if you have a home shelter, use it, unless your local government has given you other instructions.

But if regular shelter isn't available, and you have a house with a below-ground basement or storm cellar,

you could still improvise some protection from radioactive fallout.

In a basement, choose a corner most below ground and away from windows.

Drag in a heavy bench or table to make a roof for your shelter.

Cover it with trunks, stacks of firewood, flagstones, books, anything that is thick and heavy.

Then wall yourself in on the two open sides with heavy appliances or dressers or chests

backed with earth or sand to help absorb radiation.

For more information on this and other ways to improvise protection from fallout,

check with your local civil defense office.

Excitement time.

The 8.6, the mouth.

Yeah.

Feeling it, man.

I'm Carlito, host of Madhouse Radio.

It is Sunday the 26th.

And I am here.

here milkman is having trouble connecting but jen stewart is back jen store baby monkey how are you

baby monkey baby chicken come back yeah fucking monkey fucking pussy baby chicken come back

i'm glad you're back baby chicken welcome back yeah i'm i'm happy to be here all right no i'm

kidding i'm great to be back i'm kidding it's horrible all right well i'm sure we'll catch up

and all your adventures soon but first you must do a prank call if you haven't done a prank call

in 10 years i hear all right actually i did some new stuff but i i it was unreleased stuff that i

did previously and then i edited it i sent some to ted and uh because you know everybody seems

to be getting back together again i started talking to ted again and there's a couple of

other guys that i used to know and yeah i sent in a couple of chords so i can send those to you

maybe you can play them please do okay just give me an email or something that i can send them to

i don't know how to send them to you i have an email address yes i will do that thing yeah put

it in the skype machine and then we'll do that later uh okay all right so so since we're here

uh let me do a call i think you might why didn't you tell me what the hell has been happening in

all this time i bet so many things must have changed there must be some exciting news or

something yeah i want to back off for a second i'm sorry thank you for calling guru at the

latest in independent tech support my name is kaseb how may i help you today hello how are you

fine what about you sir oh i'm very horny today i had two eggs i ate two eggs you know sir i'm

sorry uh we are not providing any kind of support for that oh you're not supposed to uh mr stewart

did you have something perhaps for him yeah what kind of things do you do there he could he fixed

computer you can fix my computer yes i can what problem you have in your computer uh the problem

i have with my computer is it doesn't switch it i can't i push the button and it nothing happens

how many people how many people are talking oh it is two peoples it's me and my brother but i can

hear three ways no just now then maybe that's schizophrenia maybe you should talk to a

psychologist i am actually i'm a psychologist did you like to talk about the voices in your

I'm really sorry, but at the time, okay, I'm sorry, but at the time, can you speak, can you go ahead and can you just speak one person at a time?

Yeah, one person I'm speaking to. Okay, so if any voices is coming into your head, just ignore them and tell yourself it's all going to be okay. Okay, brother, it's fine.

Okay.

Yeah, excellent. Okay, good. So I have this problem with the computer. I can't get the screen to show any images.

images what kind of images you're talking about well any images it doesn't make any uh the screen

is this stays black you mean to say that you're able to do everything on your computer but when

you're trying to see the images on your computer it's not showing it to you yeah i can do everything

i can you know move the mouse i can uh touching the keyboard and all this kind of things but

when i turn it on nothing is coming on the screen are you getting any kind of error message

No, I can't see it.

Okay.

You think you can fix that for me? Why is it doing that?

What, sir?

Why is it doing that? Do you think it may be because I was downloading some things and, you know,

I was on some websites where they were doing things with, you know, dogs and things like that.

And so I thought perhaps maybe something came.

I'm sorry, sir. If you want to go and talk something like this, I need to hang up the call.

You're making a prank call.

No, I'm not. What do you mean you? Huh? Hello?

Yes, I'm here, sir.

Yeah, yes, sir. Well, what do you mean a prank call you?

I'm not, well, I'm serious. I got a problem.

My brother, he told me you could help me, and you're not being very cooperative.

You said you could help. You know, why is there a problem with the computer?

I think maybe what I'm saying is I went to the websites, you know, for my dog to buy the dog food and all that.

and maybe something I downloaded you know something for that and then

suddenly I can't nothing works why is it okay that guess what okay what I will

suggest you what I suggest you the best thing you can do one thing you can take

your computer near to the local technician yeah but can I take it to her

can I put can I take it to you take it to me where yeah Ted just take it where

Where are you? You can meet at the parking lot or something.

No, sir. Right now your call has been reached in one of the centers in India.

Oh, where are you in India?

In Mumbai.

What?

In Mumbai.

In Mumbai? Okay.

So, but I want to, like, what if I come over there and, you know, I can get on a plane and, you know, I can show you the computer.

And I can, like, maybe we can together, we can, like, take the computer apart and put it together again.

You and me. What do you say?

I'm sorry, but you're making a prank call, so I need to hang up the call.

No, that's not true.

Why are you making a funny noise?

I think we should get together, and afterwards we should have a drink, you know?

I'm sorry, sir.

I need to hang up the call.

We can do the sex.

No, hang up.

Oh, no.

You and me.

All three.

Baby.

Me too, me too.

Shut up, you.

Yeah, okay, you talk with my brother.

He wants to do it to you.

Hey, buddy, I'm sorry.

It's not a prank call.

We just want computer good to go. What sir? Okay. Bye

Hi, Ben Jordan

Ben Jordan. Bye. The mother mother should my attitude. Hello, Ben should should I told true?

he's

Just put his thumb in his ass and

I wanted to get to a point where I could say can I can I you know start sticking things in my ass

to be fair i haven't done that in a very long time i'm sorry it's a little bit rusty i know

but i thought i figured i'd give you these guys are really easy to mess with um but they're kind

of on guard apparently not well we fucked with them a lot recently so they're starting to get

a little on guard but listen they uh they'll quote a charge of anywhere between 299 us dollars to

over a thousand to fix your computer and they send you to the site they get like vnc control of your

of your computer they get remote access to your pc oh my god and they lock out everything you

could just you could just call up microsoft and they do it for free yeah no but anyway yeah people

do this shit yeah yeah that's because they're stupid yeah but they're scammers they're indian

scammers and some of them like curse back at us and like one time i was calling them and there

There was, like, one of them was, like, arguing in the background going,

hep, really loud.

Every co-worker is just like, hep, it's so slow.

Everybody was, like, yelling at him for some reason.

Anyway, Milkman is bad.

These are the kind of people, you know, I fucking hate.

These are the kind of people I want to be prank calling.

This is one of the reasons I stopped is because I don't really know, you know,

the people I'm prank calling, they don't really, they might not deserve it.

Not all of them.

But I would love to be able to call people who really, you know, deserve to be pranked.

You know, who are absolute wankers and who will just go nuts on the phone.

that would just

really be fun

I've got a whole list

of several of them

Jen

it's like

it's like secret justice

so this is perfect

yeah okay

Milkman is here though

Milkman

hey

Milkman

whoo

ready

go

shit working

wanna stop

my special big brother

there

jinstore.com

how you doing my brother

much love

yeah jinstore.com

I don't think that

exists anymore

it's owned by the

Indian scammers

the Indian scammers

own it Jen

they took it

yeah they stole it

So, Jim, we started

a new prank call network. It's called

Glory Hole Foundation.

It's really good.

I'm serious. Go to Glory Hole Foundation.

Yeah, fuck off. We did that last time.

What?

This call may be recorded for

quality and plain substance.

GloryHoleFoundation.com

That's the name of the network.

Some fucking website you sent me last time.

I don't know what it was, but it was fucked up.

Told you after a moment. Overrepresented.

and it will assist you.

No, it's prankcallnation.com.

Yeah, I went on it the other day.

Okay, you like it.

We've been fixing it.

Good morning, my name is Ravinder.

How may I help you?

Oh, hello, Chud.

Yes, may I help you, sir?

Yeah, can you make computer go?

You want to fix your Dell computer?

I just want it to go.

I'm sorry, sir.

Can you repeat once again?

I want computer to go.

Computer does not go?

Computer to go.

Yes.

What do you mean by go?

Your computer is not working anymore?

Yeah, it's not working. It does not go.

Ah, okay.

I want to make it strong and to make it go.

Sure, sir, sure.

So what happens when you try to turn on the computer? What happens?

It goes like, meh, like that.

Ah, okay.

Do you want me to try and, hang on.

Do you want me to try and turn it on now?

Yeah, before that, let me know which operating system you are using, Windows 7 or Windows 8?

8.1.

I'm making it go.

Okay.

What do I type in to make it go?

Hello?

Answer, how...

Hello?

Motherfucker.

What is the problem?

Are you talking with me?

Yeah, with you.

What is the problem, motherfucker?

Why are you so slow?

Well, sir, this is a professional call.

Please behave professionally.

I have to take this call.

You stupid son of an owl.

Yeah, that connection sucked.

Sorry.

Let me try one.

I think I've got an idea.

Well, I think the last one in this list started blocking us somehow outright.

Oh, yeah?

There's a few where they know us.

I know their names.

They've got some funky names.

Like some dude, I think, sounds like his name is Dirty or something.

Is this another support line, yeah?

Yes, yeah.

These are also support lines.

I'm going to put them in the Skype chat if you want to copy them, all right?

Thank you for calling Ayogi Technical Services.

My name is Vishal.

How can I help you?

Hello.

Vishal, I got a problem with my computer.

I turned the computer on.

Come on.

and a blue screen so i turn off the computer and then i open and i take uh something and now

nothing help you out so don't worry we have your name please okay my name is mr stewart

stewart and we have your phone number in case we get disconnected sure it is a one eight five five

four four five five eight eight eight can i get your email address as well yes mr stewart at

no donkey.com i'm sorry mr stewart at no donkey.com no how do you spell it n o donkey like

animal.com and what your name is again what your name you huh my name is vishal it goes like we

he isn't victor i is vision vehicle vehicle okay we can look in probably i put the computer on

and the computer blue screen and then at outside i turned off okay i turn off i pull something this

thing inside out and now nothing sorry sir i could not understand that uh could you repeat that for

me and why you got the problem with my way you have understand problem hmm yes sir i need to

understand it okay i tell you again what traveling computer blue screen blue okay and i turn off

computer i out computer out off and inside i take out i one of the thing i take it i like it like

like and i take it out like that okay and now yeah oh is it nothing oh is it nothing why is

Is it not working?

Vishnu?

Hello?

Yes, sir.

I'm trying to understand it.

Okay, basically, sir, what I can do is I can go ahead and I can arrange a technician who can go to your place and who can try to help out.

But why you, why can't you, you are not help me?

Why?

So the thing is...

My friend, he told me you could help me.

You are not helping.

You are a son of an owl.

Ulu.

Oi.

Ulu.

Ulu ka fata.

Vishnu.

Why you can't help me, man?

I want to get the help

Love is new

Is new

Okay, I'll fuck you

I hung up

That was fine, I giggled through that whole thing

I mean

It's so weird, like a blue screen

Thanks for calling Ayugi, my name is Kunal

How can I help you?

Yeah, I have blue screens

You got a blue screen?

I have blue screens

Does it give me any error message

along with it or it's just a blue screen without any message it does have message

and can you please tell me what is the message it says xp en 15 and then it says real big

bhenchod bhenchod bhenchod and it's flashing and it shows a picture of the map of india and it says

bhenchod on top of it give me just one minute it shows uh eastern toilet like indian style with

With the dipper and the hole in the ground.

I'm sorry?

What does it say out there?

It shows an eastern latrine.

It shows the eastern latrine.

And it has the, where you make the cuckoos.

And it shows the dipper or the water and the hole in the ground

where the Indian animal monkey makes a shit.

So all these things are getting on your computer?

Yeah.

So this is not blue screen.

I mean, it seems that someone...

The screen is blue, stupid.

What?

I'm sorry.

What did you say?

Stupid monkey.

The screen is blue, stupid monkey that fell out of the tree.

Is this your name?

Are you from Monkey Falls?

I believe you're telling me your name, right?

No.

Nope.

Yeah.

No, I'm describing you.

I'm describing you.

Does that help out with your condescending question, monkey?

Huh?

Okay.

You know, your mother got fucked in the street like a dog and gave birth to you in the street

like a dog.

um jen that thing tell them you got stuck snap i like that sorry i i like how you finally have

that you know notification that the call has actually ended because like sometimes

previously we never actually had that or we just carried on talking um you know the call was

already finished so it does help it does a bit yeah and then we'll do one more

you want to share it my name is garv let me help you garv what's your name garv

Yeah, it's Gaurav.

Gaurav? G-O-R-U-F-F?

No, G-A-U-R-A-V, as in Victor.

Gaurav. Gaurav.

Correct.

Gaurav. Gaurav. Gaurav.

Okay.

There's a website we cannot get to.

Do you have internet there to see if it's working?

Sir, I can go ahead and check your computer, what exactly is the problem going on.

Oh, sure. How?

I'll go ahead and take the remote session off your computer.

That will help me to understand the issue better.

why exactly that website is not working and then we can move forward to get it fixed i'll put you

mr stewart here we'll help you out with that mr stewart make it so i don't know the computer

all right yeah hi there this is mr stewart speaking here i am i'm a computer expert and i

you know i'm in front of the computer right now and i'm looking at this um so the problem is we

can't access the website there seems to be a resolving issue on the dns what would be ideal

The deal in this situation is if we could get you to check for us.

What do you want me to check for you, sir?

I just need to see if you can get access to this.

This is our private server.

The website address is private, and, you know, nobody else can access that.

So, you know, we want to get access to that.

So if somebody else can get on, that means, you know, that it's not a problem here, just in America.

it's it's probably a problem you know internationally or something you know so my friend's going to give

you the address okay and and we want to see if it resolves from india so you can check that i'm so

sorry sir we do not have the access for the internet wherein uh because we are in so hold on

a second if you don't have internet access how are you able to do a remote access computer

computer connection huh i'll let you know what are you a fucking wizard or something you're a

fucking owl you're just fucking my magic shit out motherfucker mind your language sir mind your

language okay but i'm just trying to understand you told me that you can't do the internet thing

clearly have internet access because you're you know you're using a voip phone you're not

listening to me you're not allowing me to speak let me go ahead and let you know what

Well, then go ahead and talk. I can't, you know, hear you. You're just so quiet. You're like a little owl whispering away in the night.

Go ahead, please, and tell me what the problem is.

There is no problem, sir. We are in an office, and there are things which are blocked on the computer.

We have a very limited access. Yes, we can go ahead and only browse certain websites which are related to the problems that we can resolve.

First of all, this is a website you could try because I don't think it's going to be blocked by your servers.

You could give it a go.

Come on.

Just give it a shot.

And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and we try somebody else.

If it works, great.

That would be awesome, man.

You would have helped us, and you would have resolved the issue.

So now come on.

Give it a shot.

I'm pretty much sure the website are not going to work.

Even the Google doesn't work here.

How can you possibly know that if you haven't tried it?

Just a manager. A manager has.

Manager has.

Manager has. Manager has.

Give us manager.

I'm so sorry, sir.

Manager is on the other call.

Motherfucker.

Motherfucker, you.

That is.

What? It's what?

Bhenchod?

That's what it means, right?

Maruchod?

Motherfucker, you?

Maruchod?

Eh? Eh?

This is not going to make any difference, sir.

You are saying something that goes back to you, sir.

Hoss.

So that is not going to make any difference to me, because I know what I am, right?

So you're an ass, you're an owl.

You're an owl.

If you're saying something, sir, that goes back to you.

Yeah, but I like owls, and you don't like owls.

So you are an owl.

You're like one of the evil owls that can turn the head all the way around.

I'm not going to take anything from you, sir.

With the big beady eyes and the big beak.

Everything you say, it goes back to you, sir.

If you put your beak on the table, does it make a sound like this?

If you're saying something bad, it goes back to you, sir.

So I'm not going to go into that particular conversation.

But it's a good conversation.

Why would you not want to go into that conversation?

Because, sir, I'm not interested in what you're trying to speak and what you're trying to say.

I'm trying to find out if you've got a beak, you know, one of these owl beaks,

a peculiar bend in the beak and, you know, like to eat maggots and things.

Think something good, sir.

think something good there are a lot of good things happening all around the world

yeah like like people getting their heads cut off like yeah it's all good polar virus killing

people it's awesome man there's so many great things happening in this world but you motherfucker

are an owl and you refuse to help us so you are a cunt too you know are

you used to use these words sir are you normal

with these words like your mother your mother taught me these words when she was a she you

know when i was a little boy almost when i was a little girl i'm going to take all these words

from you and you can take all these words from me and you can stick them right up your ass

difference to me up your peak please do not get into that conversation sir this is what what is

is what has been taught to you.

That is what is coming out.

So what happens if I turn my head, you know, like 180 degrees, you know, to the east?

So when you saw a seed, it comes with the same type of product, sir.

What the hell are you talking about?

And that is what is coming out.

What the fuck are you talking about?

These types of things, you can go ahead and continue with the same.

That is not going to create any hell lot of a difference with me and my product.

Give me your name, asshole. What is your name?

Sir, I'm not going to go ahead and give you my name, sir.

I'm going to give you a name. Your name is Bishnu, okay?

Whatever. Whatever you want to say, sir.

Okay, Bishnu the Owl. Bishnu the Owl.

I'm going to make a song for you, Bishnu, okay? You ready?

I don't have any instrument right now, but let's make a song.

No problem.

Bishnu the Owl. Bishnu the Owl.

Motherfucker Owl Bishnu.

That was so awesome, right?

Everything that you say goes back to you, sir.

How can it go back to me?

My name is not Vishnu.

Your name is Vishnu.

You're the owl.

My name is Mr. Stewart.

It's all perception, sir.

You're saying whatever you want to say.

I think you're a stupid owl.

It is far from reality.

You need to fall out of the tree and hit your beak.

We're in a different world altogether.

Go and fuck yourself.

Please, please, please.

Go to the church, sir.

Go to the church.

Go to the Father.

take some knowledge from them

talk to them how to behave

talk to them how to go ahead and get the things

okay thank you

you will have a good time there

go to church

sir go

go to church

do you go to church every Sunday sir

sure I go to church

what's the guy with the nine arms

and you talk to people

in a similar fashion in the church

of course

you do it

it oh yeah i say father johnny you motherfucker bitch asshole uh-huh these are the words that

you speak in the church with the father yeah sure why not your mother by talking to your parents

by talking to your brothers and sisters my my parents are your parents this is how uh the things

my mother is your mother my mother is your mother this is showing see this is showing what kind of

things that have been taught to you

and see what I am talking about

and what things are taught to me.

So this is showing the difference, sir.

You can understand that.

There is a

vast difference. What has been

taught to you, it has been coming

out of you. And what has been taught to me,

that is coming out of me.

See, I'm talking about church,

I'm talking about father,

I'm talking about priest, and what you are

talking about, sir. Look at you.

Understand the things, sir.

Okay, I gotta say, I'm really sorry. You sound like you're really insulted, so I do want to apologize.

Right, so let's talk about some beautiful things in the world, sir.

Okay, I like cunts. I like cunts. That's a beautiful thing. Come on.

Talk about some good things. Don't do it with me. At least start talking to somebody else and talk about some good things, sir.

You're a nice guy. Why can't we talk about nice things together?

You have started with a conversation with a very bad note, sir.

Okay, so now we make a good note and a bad conversation. What's the problem?

You're going to get very good things from other people, sir.

I want to get good things from you right up the ass.

No, see, we have already gone with a conversation which is not a good conversation.

I would suggest go ahead and start a good conversation with somebody else.

Okay, so can I talk to somebody else? Put me through to your manager.

Let them know that you have

some good knowledge

and you have got some good parts.

Okay, so put me through to somebody else.

Go ahead and do that, sir.

No, no, no. You. You put me through to somebody else.

Vishnu.

I think he's getting someone else.

It's not my voice.

Your American voice

is hilarious, man.

Oh my god. I lost my shit

through that whole thing.

It's so condescending.

you just sound like a network admin who's got a stink so far up his ass like

well no you're wrong i have a cca i know what i'm talking about

i'm a network admin all right i'm a network administrator and i know what i'm doing here

you know i work with all sorts of programs i know how to use html oh he dropped oh fuck it all right

fuck it beat that that was fun i'm not in the chat room is anybody like what's how do i get to

the chat the chat uh are you at the site you still have a chat or is it just like people listening

are you at the the prank call nation chat is that what it is yeah oh yeah i mean are you at the

prank call nation site i should say or can you get there uh seven and then there's a chat button

there there's a chat button there and see tell me how what tell me you should be able to you

You have to register to be able to send messages,

but you can at least view messages.

Yeah, but you just got to register

because we had a trolling problem.

So do I use the Kiwi IRC chat applet

or the MiBit chat applet?

I would say Kiwi.

You probably can just get rid of MiBit.

You can use Kiwi.

That's nicer.

The nicer one of the two.

Or do you have,

I don't know if you have an IRC client.

I used to have,

but I don't have anymore.

Well, if you get one later or something,

it's right underneath that.

It's your info for that.

Okay.

All right.

So that was fun.

Thanks, Jen.

We had fun with that.

Milkman, how are you doing, man?

We're going to do a birthday show.

I can't go to Lonesome Losers Wedding.

Something came up.

Is he in the chat room?

No.

I've been looking out for him again.

He's so hard to get a hold of, man.

But he's getting married here on Saturday.

And I was going to go to the wedding, but we had something come up and we can't make it.

I apologize.

This is the only way I know of letting him know.

know if someone can seize him direct in my way tell him to call me or text me or uh hit me up

somewhere but anyway um since i'm not going out of town milkman it's your birthday on halloween

on the 31st so we're gonna do a special show uh for that i'm excited about that well fuck how old

is he gonna be uh milkman you want to tell us i have no idea he never gives a straight answer

all right i'll make it official this year i'll be 88 years old son of a boy come on you're gonna

to be around is it is it a round number or what no i'll be one up now so but i'll tell you directly

in the chat my brother 77 i already guessed i think i know you told me before so i have a rough

you know you know you remember man my good friend well he was in high school in the 80s i know that

much that's all i can i think 88 years old sonny boy oh the 80s make good music in the 80s very

Very good music.

Yeah, a fucking...

70s, too.

Billy Idol, right?

Fucking Billy Idol.

Oh, oh, oh.

Dirkami, SARS in town.

Whoa, oh.

All right.

Well, Jen, so you're up to...

You did some pranks.

We're going to get some copies of those.

I'll play those once I do.

Oh, I've got to give you an email address, sir.

Oh, I'm not voiced, either, in the chat.

I'm sure we can take care of that chat room.

Can someone...

Enigma, if you're listening, can you...

Hermano.

Yes?

I posted enough for earlier, please.

Easy, easy, easy.

was it 777 oh no no no before that i actually posted during the conversation because we was

on the air what i was thinking is there's somebody online and like we have one of the best

greatest like vocal impersonators on the air right now you know jen stewart there's another

one it's really funny does vocal impersonation as well as very humans calls and i've always

tried to get these two together on the air at once okay so i don't have i don't see it can

Can you post it again in this room, in this Skype chat?

Yeah.

Or look directly on yours.

I don't know which one.

No, I posted here.

Okay.

It's right above the numbers that just crossed post.

Oh, him?

Let me see.

Oh, DJ Glowworm wants us to call him?

Yes.

Yeah?

Yeah.

He's supposed to start coming on and be available.

But, like, he don't have an internet connection tonight, so we'd have to phone him.

Oh, the thing is, I can only do one phone line at a time right now, man.

I'm sorry.

He's got to get on Skype.

We'll do that next time.

I'm going to interrupt you.

Does he have Skype?

Does Glowworm have Skype?

Does he have what?

Skype.

Make sure he has Skype for the next time.

I told him about the procedure for next time.

He's just not ready on his phone tonight.

So anyway.

Okay.

All right.

Listen, coming up in a moment,

We have numbers from customers at a Target portrait studio who we will be calling regarding their antiquated method of taking pictures, which is where you take them on film and you take it to a place where they actually take out the film physically, chemicals through it to develop it, and then put that on an actual piece of paper that's glossy.

I don't know if you ever heard this before, Jim.

It's called photo printing.

so i'm actually paying absolutely no attention at all because i'm trying to do this thing in

the chat room where they're like yeah all i'm hearing is like voice in the background so you're

gonna have to start no don't start again don't say i'm sorry yeah of course you're fucking

everybody was listening except me yeah on the show so i'm fine you're fine sorry but in the

meantime jen i'm doing a number here to a indian restaurant here in the states that has very bad

bad reviews uh has gotten people sick um especially especially their lamb vidiani gets people sick i

even have reviews what i like to do i want to see what you think about this i get the negative

yelp review and i and i complain as a customer and just read the review back to them and they

usually get really mad it usually hits right at home whenever it gets said it's right at home

every time nice yeah i blind radio i just see one star and i just read it i don't even read it

ahead of time it's so awesome yeah hey my name is my name is portia h i'm from arlington texas

okay i was a customer there tonight okay listen your place is just nasty exclamation point all

caps i'm sorry you feel that way yeah your restaurant looks deplorable the nasty carpet

the arrangement of down the stairs that you had and then back up only to guess where the money's

being collected no waitstaff ever smiled ever true yes it is always smiling no

where the hell are you your order fucking shit huh listen the lamb biryani i i ordered i got

sick i took two shits and it looked like cheap frozen chinese food and the samosas that we got

were cheap ready-made phyllo wrapping crap that you got there that's not true that's not our

our restaurant i think you must have a no no your taj mahal cuisine in albuquerque on carlisle

motherfucker because we don't use phyllo pastry for our well it tasted like it definitely that's

how that's how bad it is that it tasted like phyllo dough that's not true yeah right i i don't

know how you can even compare it and your your sauces are your hey your sauces are wrapped in

foil paper what was that about why were your sauces wrapped in foil paper what's that about

what sauces the sauces we got were wrapped in foil paper that's disgusting you're not supposed

to put sauces you don't put yes all this from yeah and you gave us this when you were in here

yeah and then you gave us this cheap styrofoam piece of crap container to take home and it busted

it and then i went into the nasty bathroom there and i'm gonna uh you know i'm gonna go run with a

bag of uneaten food to the trash can is what i'm gonna do this place should call gordon ramsay

that's what you should do you should call gordon ramsay you ever hear him i have him on the line

he's from england and and he might he can put you on kitchen nightmare you with him yeah i'm gonna

go to run i'm gonna run to india grill next time on wyoming it's way better there go ahead yeah

Yeah, motherfucker.

Go ahead.

Thank you.

Hey, don't go yet.

I have...

Gordon Ramsay was going to be you.

I would have had difficulty doing Gordon Ramsay.

You see what I mean?

The only thing he ever says is fucking shit and piss, so I don't know.

Yeah.

So, dude.

I've actually met him a couple of times.

Oh, yeah?

He seems like a cool guy.

I've been in several of the restaurants, but the Savoy is actually shit now.

I don't know.

I don't really like it.

i went i saw a different one a different um dude who the really cool one the guy that does no

reservations what was that cat's name i always forget no reservation i don't know there's some

really great chefs um the american one that used to be a american american there's a great american

chef anthony bourdain that's what i'm talking about there's a nice guy over here called gino

de campo he has a pasta bar restaurant in on strand it's fucking amazing and there's another

Another guy, Locatelli, he's pretty good.

Yeah?

Yeah, that's about it.

Okay.

Who's the guy that made Gordon Ramsay cry?

Some dude.

Jean-Christophe Nivelli?

Is it Jean-Christophe Nivelli?

Something like that.

No, it's a different one.

What the fuck was that guy's name?

He had one show in America, and it was actually good, but nobody watched it.

It got canceled, and I loved it.

Anyway, so you see that...

Who's the guy that eats all the bugs?

He, like, eats bugs and everything.

He's kind of bald.

Oh, that's Andrew Zimmer or something.

that's the fat bald jewish guy that's his old boss isn't it his old boss yeah this is someone

totally different yeah yeah no the one that gordon ramsay uh was an apprentice with yeah

marco marco pierre marco pierre there you go yeah yeah he had a good show he was his boss

yeah and he made him cry yeah he used to be gordon ramsay's boss yeah he says herbs instead

of herbs says herbs that's why gordon's such a fucking psycho because he was marco pierre

It was abused.

It was fucking abused.

Anyway, I highly recommend, if you guys can find Marco Pierre White, right?

That's what it is, Marco Pierre White.

He had a show on NBC, very short-lived.

It was one season.

Halfway through, it got canceled, and they showed the rest of them in a whole four-hour marathon block one weekend at random.

And I only caught it because I had a news alert on Google News for the title of the show.

I can't remember the name of the show now, but I'm sure

if you look up Marco Pierre White NBC show,

you'll find it. I highly recommend downloading

that or streaming it if it's up

somewhere. Maybe Hulu

because it's NBC. I don't know.

Anyway, enough of that. Anyway, so yeah,

all I do is I use

the negative Yelp reviews, the script, and

it hits home, man. I mean, they're like,

yes, sure, go.

Yeah, fucking go there next time.

Yeah. How are you feeling there,

Jin? You good? Yeah, I'm good. I'm just

literally sending those

those two yo-yos. I've literally sent

the email just now, so you should have that in a second.

Excellent. I'll play one of those when we

take a little breaky-break in a little bit.

Alright, I've got an India kitchen.

If you want to do one, you just holler, alright?

I'm hollering. Let me try one.

Alright, let me get you the info on Skype

so you know what's going on. I don't even know

what I'm doing. There you go.

I like that. Is that an

Indian voice you were doing with the

echo thing going on or whatever that was?

Well, you know, India is a big place, you know.

Sometimes people are talking Indian, but other times they're not talking Indian.

They're talking funny words.

Yeah, the guy, Mr. Sturt guy.

Where was he from?

That was great.

I loved that.

I didn't get the comment.

Which Sturt guy?

The guy that was on the phone there that was talking to the computer man.

Oh.

I don't know.

I don't know where he's from.

I don't think he had a place.

I love the accent, dude.

It was somewhere between India and I don't know where.

Well, you know, when I first started, I was doing really weird accents.

And then it evolved into something I'd heard from somebody else.

Then it was all about, yes, I'm a posh British, revered British person.

And I like speaking, you know, like a British man.

And then it just evolved into, you know, some sort of Indian mix of that.

So I don't know where the fuck I am at this point, but it's like a unique accent.

I can tell you that.

I love where it's like he's describing the mental characteristics that led him to this.

and this is fucking

hilarious evolution

brilliant

alright gents

so it's a very

poorly rated

Indian restaurant

I put that

under the negative

reviews if you want

you don't have to

but you can

you know I'm

definitely up for it

pick and snipe from it

as you want to go

here you go

good luck sir

keep your head up

thank you for calling

it in Dekichan

we are located

half block west

close

I got more

I'll tell you

there's this great

holiday stream

that's come out

it's called

Purple Methuselah

Oh, I can't call this one.

This is local.

No, it's not.

I got a weird.

These Indian restaurants are so

fucking, they recycle

the same names, you know, like

I found a resort. It came up in Google

as a local resort.

Of course, man. This is Tupac,

man. Some of the best of the 90s.

You have some like

Notorious B.I.G. or something.

i do i did a whole notorious big show that guy's fucking cool oh biggie yeah i did a whole show i

played all three of his albums i did a long ass shit that must have been a long show oh it was

awesome though we had so much fun everyone the chat room was digging the music and i kept making

references from the songs and the pranks saying fucking up shit yeah um but tonight's tupac's

night i was gonna do another biggie night but not yet is there any update on the on the tupac

Puff Diddley situation there about him being accused of the murder.

No, never mind.

That's the weirdest thing.

A strip, one strip of road in the middle of the desert,

and no one knows who did it or who went where.

Whoever it was probably got killed already.

You know, did you hear it, right?

You heard it called him in for an investigation, right?

He's been, you know, made one of the main suspects for the murder 18 years later, right?

You heard about that?

Yeah, there's theories all over, no offense, you know?

No, no, the police.

Yeah, I know who you're talking about.

It was the dude

from the Rampart scandal

in LA. I know who you're talking about.

I forget his name now.

The character Alonzo from Training Day

was based on him.

It's the suspect in the murder.

They called him in after 18 years.

Like two months ago.

He was probably the shooter in Biggie's murder.

I've been wanting to bring that up.

Alright, Jen, this is the next one.

I got it.

It takes too long to set these up, though.

I've got to do these early ahead of time.

We've got to call some of these photos.

Who am I speaking with?

Your name is Steve?

Yeah, I know what it is.

I said, what's your name, you?

Actually, my friend, why are you being so rude to me?

I want to get a job.

I was told that your restaurant is very bad and the food is terrible.

And, you know, there's lots of very terrible reviews.

And I want to come in and teach you how to cook.

Okay. Right now, boss is not here.

But, you know, listen, I moved to Albuquerque from, you know, from India.

Okay.

So, and I'm professional Indian chef.

I know that, but...

You know that.

No, you have to talk to my boss. I'm an employee.

But what would you think of that if you were working with me? You would be working under me.

I'll have you walking around, doing the dishes, you know.

I'm very happy where I'm working.

cooking but would you like to you know come into the kitchen and you know sometimes you know give

me a kiss while i'm doing the cooking what do you want sir why are you kidding me with me

why are you i'm not kidding i'm not kidding you i'm telling you i want to what if you want to

place the order just place the order that's it okay i want to place an order but listen to me

if you cook it badly i'm gonna come in there i'm gonna rub it in your face do you understand

Why?

Because it's bad.

Oh, good.

I'll call back.

I love it.

I love the slow buildup of some of these, man.

You're an expert at it.

I can sometimes, but it's fickle.

Is it the same?

Yeah.

You want me to carry on?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, sir.

Hello, sir.

Why did you disconnect it?

No, that's why I use the saying, like, if you want to place the order, just place the

Why are you kidding?

I'm not kidding.

I'm telling you, my friend.

I'm a professional chef.

And some reviews of the restaurant are very bad.

Like people are saying it's a terrible food.

It's the worst food in the world.

So, you know, I want to come in.

Suck paneer, you know, chicken tikka.

If you want to place the order, just place the order.

Food look, kapata, you know, I want to make everything.

Okay, you make it and then why you place the order here?

here you just make it the food at your home yeah no i want to make it there because i want to work

there with you and i want to work with you know some people in the kitchen and i want you know i

want when i'm working i like to have a kiss i'm not a boss so you have to talk to my boss yeah

but you're a you're a staff man so you would be working with me in the kitchen while i'm working

so i want you thank you so don't disturb me and don't call again please what do you mean

I want to place an order

You should definitely keep calling him back

He's the kind of guy

That's going to go fucking nuts

Yeah he's getting there

Hello

Yes sir

Can I place an order

Sir you want to place an order or not

Yeah sure I want to place an order

Why are you calling me again and again

And why are you saying that

Yeah I'm a chef

If you're a chef

Go and make the food right here at home

What the hell are you talking about

You're talking about

You start the rule

No, I don't know what the hell you're, what are you talking about?

I just want to place an order.

You're talking about a chef?

What the fuck is going on?

So, if you're a chef, then why are you talking about a chef?

You fucking stupid or something?

What the fuck is your problem, asshole?

I just want to place an order.

Why are you fucking, you know, talking about a chef?

You, you start that, right?

No, you start, what the fuck are you, I just called you up out of nowhere.

I'm just, I want to place an order for delivery.

And you, you're like, well, I'm a fucking chef and all this shit about a chef.

What the fuck?

Sir, please, don't use the abuse language, please.

It's your fault.

If you want to place an order, just place an order.

That's it.

Okay, I'll place an order.

Okay, you ready?

Yes, go ahead.

Okay, I want two chicken tikka masala.

Okay.

A pilau rice.

We have a white rice.

We don't have a yellow rice.

That's okay.

I'll take a white rice.

And then I want you to pee in it.

Go ahead.

What else?

Yeah, that's it.

I want you to pee in the rice, you know?

Yes, you get that piece in the rice.

What's your telephone number?

I'm not talking about peas.

I'm talking about piss.

I want you to piss in the rice so that I can eat the rice with your piss.

Sir, if I'm saying something, you again, you come and please order.

So don't disturb me on the phone, please.

Why, why?

Otherwise, I'll call 911 right now.

What are you going to tell them?

That you pissed in my food, you son of a bitch?

Should I call 911?

I think you should tell them you peed in my food, you motherfucker.

You're out.

Just shut up, okay?

If you want to play his order, just play his order.

You stupid ass.

Oh, shit.

He's flipping, dude.

Fuck, yeah, she gave it again.

I'm changing the caller ID to number one.

Dude, he gave me up to a pretty good prop.

She gets to see the caller ID, so he knew it was me.

Fuck.

You want me to do it this time, and then you jump in.

I'll start doing a regular order, and it's important you jump in, all right?

Brilliant.

Yeah, yeah, do that.

Hi, can I make a pickup order, please?

Pardon?

Can I make a pickup order, please?

Sure, go ahead.

One chicken biryani.

Okay.

Two, well, just one order of naan bread, garlic naan.

Okay.

And do you have any soup?

No, we have, sir, madras soup, dal soup, and mulgadani soup.

Oh, the mulgadani.

I'll have, like, a small one of that, please.

Sir, which one, mulgadani or dal soup, sir?

Mulgadani.

Malagadani. Malagadani.

Okay.

Yeah, and then I'm going to put my brother on the line.

He had one more thing to add, okay?

Okay.

Yeah, I'd like to get a white rice with a chicken tikka masala.

So chicken tikka masala you want, right?

Yeah, and a white rice.

Okay.

Okay, and can I ask you to pee inside the rice?

Can you put your cock in the rice and piss in the rice?

Pardon? You want green peas?

No, I want you to pee in the rice.

I want you to put your urine, piss in there, like a toilet.

Sir,

you call again, right?

No.

Sir, can you come here to place the order, please?

No, I want to place it over the phone,

and then I want to hear you while you're making the food

and peeing in my food.

Can you give that phone to other guy, please?

Okay, I'll give it back to my brother.

Okay, brother.

I'm sorry.

I'm sick.

That's why I need the soup.

Yes.

Hi.

Hello.

I'm sick.

That's why I'm ordering the soup.

Sir, you want to place the order?

Yeah.

Did you get that?

So, sir, why this guy?

What he's saying?

I don't know.

I can't understand what he said.

What guy?

Why he's...

What guy?

So, you want chicken biryani, mulgadani soup, chicken tikka, and a garlic naan, right?

And a garlic naan, yeah.

And then my brother's going to add something.

I'll put him on.

Oh, hi there.

I'd like to get a chicken tikka, and I'd like to get some white rice with peas.

That comes with the green peas, peas.

Yeah, peas, peas, piss.

Okay, so what's your telephone number?

No, we're coming there to pick it up, but before we come there, I need to make absolutely certain that you will urinate inside the rice.

Sir, can you just give me one second?

What do you want, sir, exactly?

Why are you wasting my time?

Because I'm a clown, and I have a big nose,

and when I squeeze it, it makes a sound.

Oh, I'm laughing so hard over here, man.

I cannot quit crying.

I can't quit crying.

You got that little horn you do in your little calls there.

I was going to do it, but he didn't give me the chance.

Oh, shit.

What a beautiful setup.

I'm in tears.

I love how I shoehorned you back in there

for a second.

For a second time.

My brother's going to add one thing.

That second handoff was brilliantly executed.

That quick handoff, man.

He was so confused for there.

For a second, he was massively confused.

But the more you call him,

the more wind up he's going to get.

And if he is a bad restaurant, then they do deserve it.

I just don't want to ruin his night.

He's going to go home crying. I don't want that.

Do you want me to let off on him?

No, no. Let's give him a couple more.

I want to get him pissed off, but I want to actually finish it nicely so that he doesn't, you know.

So he doesn't feel bad.

So he has a good night at least, right?

Something like that.

With wife.

That's a good idea.

I'm going to ask him about that.

His sister.

After the talk.

Come on.

Oh, too bad.

One more time.

Maybe we ought to call him back in about 10, 15 minutes.

I'll leave him alone.

All right.

Well, we had fun.

That was funny.

10, 15 minutes.

It's three after right now.

Yeah, just remind me, Milkman, and I'll go back to it.

Yes, sir.

I've got an ear martyr, so I won't...

I've got a blocked nostril.

Like, one nostril is...

It's not nostril, but, like, in the nose,

the nose cavity is blocked,

and it's actually blocked the eustachian tubes

that lead up to my ear.

So my left ear is very bad hearing.

It's fucking annoying.

I have to take this spray.

It just pisses me off.

Don't you hate it when it just does one side?

It's just so...

It's so torturous.

It's fucking annoying, and it's been going on for weeks.

yeah i would rather just be completely blocked in just one side i hate it when that happens maybe

too much fucking cocaine i'm raving the shit yeah you gotta do you just use one nostril for that

don't do that it's bad i think that's bad i don't know i'm kidding i would think that's bad no okay

i'm sorry we're just joking you gotta switch off yeah you gotta switch off noses use your right

nose and your left nose one day okay hey you're fucking pro on this one man so here are people

People who are developing film, who have dropped off photos to be developed, and a very ancient art.

These people obviously don't have smartphones, or don't care for having a smartphone or a computer.

Working procedure, be nostril.

Man, I do like getting sick.

I was around kids this weekend, and oh man, it's just fun.

You're not well, Kalita?

Oh, just a little.

There's, my wife had it, I probably caught it from her.

She had something, sinus thing.

she got that from uh our our nephews and niece they go to school they go to school and it's just

you know how kids get you don't you don't care for children and all that that's a fucking lie

i know oh are you close to like a nephew or a niece or anything like that uh not really no i

mean actually no no no there are not many kids in my family at all and most of them are all over 20

so no

I got you

I have a couple of close friends

who have babies

baby machines

your brother doesn't have children

my brother

not yet anyway he should have

he's seven years older than me

alright here's

Chris

see if this works

Well, why do you just not carry on the Stewart name?

You know that.

Damn it.

Canceled physical therapy tomorrow.

Fuck it.

Call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

These are fickle answers.

Here's a funny name.

Rachel.

Her last name is funny, but I can't say what it is.

Maybe I'll slip and say it during the call.

You guys ought to do one of the white devil synthesizer calls later.

Sure, we can do that.

for about an hour and eight minutes for a commercial break you have reached first

country feeding our office i bet she's feeding right now all right everybody listen again i

am carlito i am here with big milkman say hi milkman oh thank you no problem and big jim

stewart who's returning hello yeah so you wanted to know what was going on with uh yeah we um

so yeah i we spun off a network because madhouse is getting confused between my show

and the network and i said you know and i was like the name madhouse anyway it doesn't really

lead you to fake prank calls um and i said why not it's a bunch of crazy people using the phone

true but when the name is prank call nation you know what you're getting right ahead

yeah it's right in the domain is what you're getting and i like nation at the end it's on

of like something funny like dr lego would make up or something i was like yeah but what about um

ted's uh blue prank uh thing we're on there right now i know we're on there um he's how big is it

in comparison which one i mean all these fucking networks should be merged together well he gets

a lot of um all ted is doing is i'm the only live show on there i think and oh yeah i'm the

the only live show only consistent one for sure well yeah sorry you know so anyway we're the only

live show on there um but he has the best shellcast um rotation it's just a rotation but

he has really good pranks so and he always has like between anywhere between 50 and 80 people

at one time 24 7 from all over the world he gets a lot of people on there when i get on there i'm

usually between 50 and 60 some of them drop because they're like i don't want to hear a lot

A lot of them are...

People don't really like the live shows.

How many have you got at the moment?

At the moment, on Shoutcast combined, I have 91 listeners.

That's Ted's, Ted's stream, Brad's stream, and my stream.

Well, I should say the Prank Call Nation Shoutcast stream.

I'm getting used to these things.

Okay.

And then our main platform is Mixler.

Mixler is kind of like the newest, the replacement for Shoutcast at this point.

It's taking over, okay?

that uh on there right now hang on does anyone i can i can tell you it's got like 113

so what is that 113 plus 91 is 204 right yeah 204 people listening live and my shows the downloads

i want to say for each podcast episode is maybe in the 500s maybe a little more than that that's

pretty good yeah that's right it's cool i have way more you know what i don't get there there's

fucking youtube videos out there that have like 10 million hits 20 million hits and the prank

calls aren't even that funny yeah i don't really get it well that's what we decided all together

recently we started kind of putting we started having like a weekly meeting and we're like you

know what let's let's figure out what the fuck is going on that you know you know people like us

like you that was your biggest complaint remember it was like fuck this like this you know the shit

you're doing is way better than what's getting all these hits out there it was a bit narcissistic

for me to say that but it's true it's true to a degree i i'm not wrong because you know these

guys are doing pranks that really are childish and stupid and there's no creativity in there

and it's just really dull and then all they do is they put the fucking subtitles of what they're

saying over stupid pictures yes and the reason they get so many hits is because they use big

fucking capital letters in the keywords and in the title so everybody's oh prank cool prank cool

and all the little fucking kids go there and then they share it with all their friends on facebook

book and before you know it it's got fucking 10 million hits and it just pisses me off because

it's shit pranks you know and everybody thinks they're fucking great and they've never really

heard of any of us so it's just yeah it's annoying yeah we pretty much have two main

competitors right now is the friday night crank show by jared and it's onish pranks

that's our only real competition right now and i um i i believe that prank call nation is

you know exponentially better than as a whole than what's being offered by either of those

two combined it's just that people don't really it's starting to spread a lot which is great

but we're starting to focus our efforts into that a little better right now um i think the point the

point you've got to make is everybody who listens to us or more specifically to you because i don't

really do this that much anymore but the people who listen to you should be sending it to their

friends so don't be afraid to share it with your friends on facebook and on youtube and then just

The more people that share it, the more people we're going to get, the better the shows are going to get because the more enthusiastic we're going to get about making prank calls.

That's how it will work.

All right.

It's funny you say that.

That's perfect because here's my little advertisement.

I'm sure everyone has noticed, but there are a lot of changes to the website.

We kind of went through it and said, fuck it.

We need to make this actually functional.

So when you get to the homepage, we do have a YouTube collection now.

it's updated daily and it's all of the hosts all of our prank calls and shows that we're putting

on youtube that includes brad uh train wreck ken uh jayad from the friday night show here

myself um all our videos that are going to put on up there a jag um they're all in a on a youtube

playlist which is public which you can subscribe to yourself on a pc and youtube page it does exist

this right now it's youtube.com slash uh pc and pranks regardless just go to the website click

on the youtube link and you you'll know exactly where you need to go you can just watch it all

right there youtube.com forward slash pc and pranks yes i believe that's right yes yeah indeed

i'm on let's there you go that's that's that's our that's our prank that's the efforts between

all our different we all have different channels but we all pull together and as a team you know

what i mean i'm happy for you to add the ones that i have on my channel as well if you want

i have you yes i was going to ask you that i have you as a subscribe so you are um in the mix i just

i'm not seeing anything updated on your channel but if you do update something i will gladly add

it uh yeah i think the only things that are on my channel are older shows i probably wouldn't

add those to your rotation but um the uh the individual prank calls that is not so many i

think i archived so many of them maybe i'll take some time at some point and do some new ones and

then load them on the ones i sent you were unreleased and i did them about a year ago

okay and they're pretty good i think i would probably put those on youtube all right cool

awesome that's awesome i will i will we're gonna play some of those tonight i'll get to it when we

take a break i'll play one in a second i am going to take a break to grab myself a bottle of water

so we'll play it back awesome anyway um so the the website itself has been kind of cleaned up

we also me jayad and i having brad's gonna join us also are we're contributing to a uh like

basically a news blog that we focus on pranks and phone related stuff stuff that any listener of

this network would be into um we're just keeping a blog uh a blog there that just helps us helps

us out add new content which looks good for to be honest google rankings and it's good it's kind of

cool so and that's also tied into a subreddit that we have which is prank call nation if you want to

follow us on there and submit your own articles that you come across your own prank videos

whatever it may be uh articles news articles etc that's related to what you think we would be in

you know prank call nation would be into submit it on our subreddit and if we approve it we'll

you know share it and give you a credit in the uh on the site it's kind of cool we do have a

podcast feed you can subscribe on itunes it's prank call nation on and that's uh uh it's a

prank prank call nation uh showreel podcast basically so all the shows that are happening

here basically almost almost on a daily basis right now um are getting uploaded there by the

next day we're trying to keep it uploaded you know within 24 hours so for example right now

you can see the shows that i was on with uh that uh dwight i'll probably be sure he'll join us a

little later after midnight here he hosted a show last night it was really funny vlog talk he's in

the chat yeah he's in the chat yeah he'll yeah he'll join us uh first hours is usually me and

you and milkman i'm saying you know the three of us or just me and milkman for the first two

keeps us on track anyway so yeah look there's a lot i'm not going to get into everything but

there's a lot of stuff on a new website go on there and it's easier for you to share stuff

now because we do have a lot of social media links and share links and stuff like that

what are you doing about facebook i mean are you using facebook at all yes we have a facebook page

and a facebook group which we kind of used to some people go into facebook group and we have

have a lot of fun in there too there's a lot of discussion and they're back and forth about pranks

i think facebook is really important i think people are moving sort of to twitter they're

getting the wrong idea facebook seems to be i don't know i don't know why but people suddenly

have some aversion to facebook i don't know this is all this fucking conspiracy theories about

privacy and all this shit but i think facebook is really really good and it is what it is i mean

you can use it as an alias if you have to just make a page with an alias and then just use it

like that and you know yeah we have a show that way we have a network page there and we all post

swimmer going on live and stuff like that so we get yeah i think it's awesome i think it's much

better than forums and shit like that i think it's so much so much yeah the facebook the facebook

group itself and and and a subreddit uh page is way better than i guess i'm ready i see it now

either of those all right so anyway people go there if you think you see anything you think

you find out is broken by all means let me or one of the admins know in the chat room or however you

get a hold of us and we'd appreciate that just kind of help us beta test this a little bit

and we're going to be putting some more graphics in here this week and should be finishing this up

for our our redo of the website should be complete i think by the end of this week it should be good

we're about 90 there right now who's doing the site uh between me brad jayad he's another host

on here don't know if you know who he is he's a big fan here she loved jayad love he does our

friday night show here and it's a really good show you would probably really dig it and he's

He's a huge fan of you.

I know he is a person.

A lot of the people here,

I don't know if you're seeing the comments in the chat room.

Everyone's excited that you're on.

I announced it.

Maybe I glanced over.

Yeah.

I mentioned it in passing two days ago on someone else's show.

And I got barraged by people.

Really?

Jen,

really?

Really?

Like,

yeah,

seriously.

That doesn't help my ego at all,

man.

I just don't.

Yeah.

Just being honest.

All right.

I'll stop sucking your dick.

Let's get to more prank calls.

I like the Facebook page,

though.

I was just going to say,

They're just really patriotic with this fucking eagle and the American flag.

Yeah, we need to change that.

That's funny.

Yeah, we need to get some.

None of us are really good at graphics, unfortunately.

Yes, hello.

I'm calling from the photo lab.

You dropped off some pictures.

This is Whitney, Portrait Studio.

Yeah, you are going to order these.

When were you expecting to get these?

Is it urgent?

My receipt said November 7th.

We're actually going to need you to come in and retake them.

Apparently there were, I guess, we have a, our computer filters out nudity and child pornography or like gang signs, tattoos, stuff like that.

It'll spit out the files that says, no, there's something not approved on the picture.

And almost all of yours came back like that.

They're not decent.

So we, you're going to have to come back in and retake, unfortunately.

unfortunately why would they have come back like that it was all of my six months old and then our

family pictures wow let me see if i can find out hang on my six months old there's no tattoos

okay apparently yeah they came back marked uh for hard nipples um yeah hard nipples i guess

where it's maybe someone had erect nipples during this sometimes it does it for men also depending

Depending on if they're wearing a shirt, like a golf shirt or something, you can see the

heart.

But if men are, it gets cold in here sometimes.

Sweatshirt on and I had two layers on.

Yeah, but I think you're, I mean, you're maybe like, do you have large breasts?

I do, but 90% of the pictures were of my baby.

Yeah, well, I know.

But I guess what you were in, your head, like your cleavage was showing too much.

You had very large breasts and your nipples were erect.

Are you serious?

Yeah, maybe it's the material.

It also came through that I guess there was a large male groin,

maybe tight pants or tight jeans sometimes.

Is he a larger man, well-endowed?

There was not even a shot of him where he would have been in front.

He was behind me the entire time or laying on his stomach.

Someone may have also been flicking out the middle finger.

it says here a few times like trying to do it from the side so you could see it they were given

the middle finger and a gang sign it came up my baby maybe had her hand waving maybe it's the

computer sees it and i maybe she was also says that it says mob pyru blood gang sign it says

here are you members of the like the mob pyru blood gang i guess serious that's what it came

yeah it comes up as match mud pipe what does it say here hang on mob piru or p-i-r-u blood gang

blood gang i know it's come up because sometimes we have um african-american people that used to

be in gangs and they have tattoos and sometimes they come back for blood like bloods i guess the

the gang the bloods they're called um they're the red gang i think or the blue gang i'm not sure

are either red or blue and yeah it'll i guess maybe the baby was the way she had her hand maybe

it looked like a blood sign mob pi peru blood are you familiar with this organization i have no idea

what you're talking about i don't know maybe your baby just is given i guess it looked like she was

giving gang signs and there was like large tits like big tits you know i don't know if you

understand like tits is this actually somebody from target because this is ridiculous they're

talking to me like this right now yeah well i'm gary i don't work for target we're we own the

portrait studio inside but we just leased the space but yeah you this is ridiculous you filled

our decency filter so did you want to reschedule or what should i do um no i would like to talk

to somebody in a position of authority and complain i can transfer to my manager uh yes

please okay just a moment stewart yeah hello this is mr sears speaking is this for real what he's

saying about my pictures because 90 of them were of my six month old baby all right hang on i've

only just briefly understood what was going on because i've been working uh on another desk can

you just briefly go over what was said to you and then i can tell you what the problem is he was

saying that we were flashing gang signs in these pictures and that might he specifically said that

my tits are big well first of all you need to calm down okay because i'm you know i've had a

stressful day so what we don't need is you know all the screaming and shouting secondly the

The computer is not, you know, perfect.

Nothing's perfect in this world.

And I'm looking at the photos, and to me, they look inappropriate.

So if the computer throws them out and they're inappropriate,

I'm looking at the photos, they definitely, definitely look inappropriate.

What are they a picture of?

My baby?

Presumably, it's you with your boobs out and a guy with an enormous cock.

And, you know, that's just about it.

Those aren't my pictures.

They certainly are because you brought them in.

I didn't bring in any pictures.

I had my pictures taken at the portrait studio.

Right.

Well, this is definitely you because, I mean, we've got your name, your number, your address, and your details on here.

So, you know, it's got to be you.

See, it can't be anybody else.

And the computer doesn't, you know, the computer doesn't just make fun.

It just, you know, doesn't pick random entries out.

You know, this is definitely the correct information.

What I want to know immediately is what you want to do.

Do you want to reschedule?

Do you want to come back in?

Or do you want me to just chuck the pictures away?

way or do you want me to call the police because you know you have you have a couple of pictures

here with a child so you know that to me that you know that's criminal offense you know as far as

i'm concerned i could pass that on to uh you know the social services and uh you know i hope you do

because i never turned in any pictures to target and this is ridiculous well here's what i think

we should do i think you should come in right and me and you we should make another baby together

in front of the camera

just to make up for it.

Go fuck yourself.

I'd like to fuck you,

actually.

Awesome.

Wow.

Seriously,

I have to piss, man.

I'm sorry.

Oh, that was awesome.

I'll be back in a second.

That was legendary.

She asked for it, too.

I can transfer you to my manager

and you sound very hesitant.

I knew what was coming.

Like, yeah, you may not want to talk to Mr. Stewart, but okay.

That's all shit that death peddled it.

Oh, shit.

I'm sorry.

I'm here.

I'm looking for the next number machine that we will call.

Let me go over here to the map where I will throw darts for a little bit.

We're going to hit up some random places.

Who is that dude playing?

By the way.

Who's this playing?

Who's playing in the background?

I don't know.

No, it's a Tupac song, but I can find out who's in the background.

I'm sure it's probably...

It's a direct rip off of his, like, 70s, like, Funkadelic style.

Yeah, I was thinking it might be...

I think it's Parliament Funkadelic in the background.

Hang on, let's find out.

Let me look.

It's a direct rip from that, and then he's doing his thing.

I like it from what I can hear.

Yeah, I mean, that's what hip-hop is, buddy.

All right, the song is called...

You know me, I style the old shit, too, man.

I was there for it.

That's right, Sheddy Boy.

the song is called shit don't stop thank you sir that's what it's called and i don't know what i

would look for a sample hey what's up man what's going on looking up a sample from this song here

that's playing i don't know who they sampled on this i don't know if anyone knows let us know

and i could i'm sure i could find it eventually just i used to listen to funkadelic parliament

on eight tracks dude and i had very first ghetto blast had like the 80th speaker 12 batteries in

it and this motherfucker'd run all day and i mean he was talking like probably at least 10 watts

anywhere yeah this is like amazing nobody could do that the old days

that was like unheard of now it wasn't a jam box yet this is

hang on hang on hang on milkman neon says there's a site called who sampled.com who sampled.com are

you for real that would be awesome if that's for real that better not be fake neon it'll be real

let down if you just made up sound hound if you got sound hound you can find no oh shit it's for

For real, let me bookmark this here in my miscellaneous folder, my bookmarks, if you allow me a second, please.

This is exactly what I've been looking for.

My God, where have you been all my life?

Who sampled?

And then what will we put in this?

Shit, don't stop.

Thanks for letting me do this, guys.

I appreciate it.

Aqua Boogie, that's what the name is.

by parliament on eight track i recognize that beat and i could barely hear it you were right

yeah it's it's parliament funkadelic that would have been my guess too let me see

can't beat the rhythm of the stroke psycho alpha disco beta fire

that was bad that was that was all right well guess what milkman you're getting an early

birthday present this is what our show friday is going to be like whatever songs you want you

You need to come up with a list of what you want to hear.

All right.

All Milkman music.

You have to sing along to it.

Yeah.

A modest sampling, and I'll coordinate and make sure it gets downloaded or pinpointed.

Okay, cool.

Thank you, sir.

There you go.

Thanks for the gift.

No problem.

All right.

Moving right along.

Let's do some more prank calls.

As I said, here's a gas station.

Let's see if I can get them to shut their breakers off.

They're not midgets, man.

They're fucking hilarious.

Milkman.

Yeah.

That was the person's problem.

What kind of animals are there that don't like water, Milkman?

Cat?

A certain cat.

Cat.

Like a lion.

Come on, man.

Pick up the phone, man.

Fuck them.

They dodged a bullet, yo.

So, Jin, how was you?

You've recorded a congratulations to us for our nine-year anniversary show here this past summer.

Thank you.

We played that.

Oh, you did?

Yeah.

What were you doing in Scotland?

The world knows that you were in Scotland.

were you training over there for the uh olympics uh something like that no no i'm not even actually

i haven't since my diagnosis about three years ago when my coach moved away so everything sort

of happened in one go and just things sort of just literally changed from one day to the next

i haven't actually picked up a badminton racket and uh well that's a lie i haven't picked one i

haven't trained and played properly in three years but you know i played a little bit in between but

but not properly.

Not properly.

But the archery's still coming along good, right?

Yeah, archery, so.

I knew you was doing it, brother.

I don't care, people.

No, I really don't.

I'm not a fucking archer, you cunt.

We fucking missed you, too, you slut.

I have Jen Stewart, famous archer from the United Kingdom team.

Fuck your mother, you prick.

England, England team.

Listen, lady, I'm not a fucking archer.

Tell him that.

Make sure he understands.

i do not do archery i've never picked up a fucking arrow in my life i'm not this fucking green hooded

prick who goes around with fucking arrows just this shit drinking tea you have do you have

tazo tea oh but i do have a way to track your number and send the cop to your house

i don't give a fuck i just want him to know i don't do archery can you please explain that to

him put two fingers do i care is the better question you should care because it's fucking

important i don't do archery and and explain to me again why i should care why some random person

who's doing a terrible british accent it's terrible terrible british accent uh fuck off

i fucking live in britain how can how can i be a fucking terrible british accent you live in

britain he's a fucking he lives in london he's an olympic athlete for england britain

you know you guys should really work on your prank calling because you're really not impressing me

If you're going to make it worth my time, then maybe I will consider it an okay job.

But until then, pick up a couple of breaks.

Thanks.

Have a wonderful evening.

What a bitch.

I am not an archer.

She said that your voice is fake, that none of you people say Britain.

That was brilliant.

That was one of the best rebuttals I've heard in a century.

We're going to get mad.

She sounds like the kind of person who would get angry.

and would just drive herself

into insanity.

Holy shit, dude.

What was that?

Fake British accent.

Brilliant.

God damn.

That was low down, man.

She hates archers, dude.

She didn't have to go that far.

Yeah, you should call her back.

What's your fucking problem

with archers?

No, no.

She says that we need to...

She says that you have

the worst fake British accent

she ever heard.

Yeah, we should work

on our prank calls.

Yeah, obviously.

Yeah, okay.

All right.

I said Britain.

Britain.

Let me ask her a couple questions.

Hang on, hang on, let me take this.

I have to apologize first.

No, no, no, this isn't...

Can I help you?

Yeah, hey, hey, this is Cross.

I'm here at the Starbucks next door.

Yeah.

They just delivered here a bunch of your shit.

We got a bunch of your shit over here that they delivered.

And it's going to go bad because I'm not putting this in our cooler

to be taking it back out again.

I don't have time for this.

I got a lot of shit I got to do.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yeah, you need to send some motherfucker over here.

Get this shit out of my store.

The delivery?

What time?

Just now.

They dropped it.

The truck is outside right now?

He's gone.

Okay, let me see.

Everybody, we're sending someone from over there to the Starbucks where she said we suck at pranking.

Thank you.

Yes.

Yeah, but do you say, do you have delivery for Starbucks right now?

Big delivery inside my store, and I'm not putting this in anything to refrigerate this meat and all this stuff.

you need to get this shit out of here god damn it yeah but this is wendy's yeah and i'm in starbucks

next door yeah but if you want yeah go ahead how long do you want to stay over there what are you

talking about come get your shit out of my store motherfucker don't you understand you speak

english yeah but what happened what's the problem they delivered your shit to my store i don't want

to hear i'm gonna throw it away in 30 minutes if you don't get over here i'm gonna put bleach on it

i'm angry that they delivered it and it's taking up space and i have customers complaining that

there's meat in here yeah but what kind of delivery do you have it's a bunch of buns big

buns cups over here bags i see over here uh meat chili stuff it says here there's oil here i'm

going outside right now okay get in here motherfucker get inside and take care of it

right now inside starbucks okay good we'll call her back in a second and you'll get to talk to her

um i'm calling someone else here hopefully these folks are still

she sounds like she has just the right personality to get oh yeah she's gonna love

it's been taken it's kind of good i like she challenged me she said thanks for calling outback

I'm here at the Starbucks on the other end of the corner.

They just delivered a bunch of crap over here, and you need to get it out of here.

I'm not going to put this in my refrigerator, and I'm going to pour bleach all over and throw it outside in 30 minutes.

Excuse me?

They delivered a bunch of meat over here and a bunch of condiments and sauces over here for you guys.

a bunch of uh containers takeout containers it all says it was supposed to go to your place

and i'm not going to deal with i don't have i don't have time to deal with this shit you need

to get this stuff out of my store hey you did not need to take that phone with me but okay i will

let a manager know you need to get your stuff out now you have 30 minutes tell him i said to put him

on the phone the concern she's running real quick to go get him i'm such an asshole but there's a

a wendy's there's a walmart here but they're gonna do the that's the answer i'm gonna get

from them uh there's a costco they're probably closed there's a subway they're open all right

subway i called subway once on one of my shows and uh there was somebody in the background

coincidentally came in while i was doing the prank and said can i use the toilet

and the lady i was pranking the you know she was behind the counter she said

uh no no sorry you have to go we don't we can't give you a toilet you must go to mcdonald's and

And then I had to go with her for that.

And then she was like, excuse me, but it's none of your business.

It's none of your concern.

She's crazy.

Mind your own fucking business.

Some subways do that shit.

They had those on the island like that.

When I was living on the island back when I first met all you guys, man, they had them down there.

Like, they wouldn't let you use the bathroom.

We don't have no bathroom.

We're going to go shit or piss all day.

Yeah, in St. Thomas, I ran into that problem at Wendy's, but then they let me use it in the subway.

I got to use the bathroom, and that's where I transferred.

Our subways, they wouldn't let you do that on St. Croix.

I can't fucking believe that.

I transferred.

If I was desperate for a piss, and I went into a place, and they said to me, you know, into a public place, you know,

and they said to me, no, sorry, you can't use the toilet, even though I know they have one in the back somewhere,

I would piss all over the fucking counter.

I would be so angry.

Yeah.

Seriously, I would.

if i needed a place right and i genuinely went in there kindly said excuse me would it be okay

to use the toilet and they said to me sorry no you can't it's only staff only i would piss all

over the fucking place hey jim you know what i did they pull that shit all over san francisco

too dude all over san francisco they tell you that no man listen uh what i did i got a massage

once at the asian place and i asked when it was over i said can i use the bathroom and she said

a no like real rude and when i she laughed for me to put clothes on i went into the corner of the

room and i pissed a lot like a lot i looked like a big ass puddle i was like cute and then i gave

her a really shady tip and i never went back this was like five six years ago i think you are a

i was like fuck you motherfucker i was in a bad mood i think my sugar was really high that day

And I was kind of

You know how you get when your sugar's high

You get mad

Or it might have been low

Considering that

The alternate would have been

You taking a shit in the corner

I took a shit on the floor of a Catholic church

Actually I went to school with somebody

Because I went to a private boarding school

And one of the boys

Was expelled

he did something, I can't remember exactly what he did

but after he was expelled

he had all his stuff and

one of the teachers I think he'd had an argument with

he went to his car, he shit

on the bonnet of his car, he actually shit on the

bonnet of his car

in front of people, he shit

on the bonnet of his car, he was

expelled but he shit on the bonnet of his car

this is a really good

school

and the bonnet is the hood basically for the

be american people yeah that's what they call it not the top not the roof that'd be funny but can

you imagine that you know on the fucking car you should have done it on top of the car like i was

like people were crying with laughter oh god that's fucking crazy dude one time like i was

skipping school and um uh right next to the bus loop so where the school buses would drop you off

uh and you had like a little bit of walk to get to the campus um right adjacent to that was the

staff teacher parking

and the principals was like

one of the first ones there reserved parking

like one of the first ones but anyway when I would

skip school I didn't have a car at this point

yet so my friend

Mike or Andy they would

come and come inside

the parking and park right next usually to the

principal the vice principal and I would

get off the bus to get right on their car and we'd

split well this time like for some

reason Mike starts backing up

this big Chrysler at Cordoba

of fucking big ass fucking wings on it he starts backing it up and the car door is still fucking

open i'm like mike hold up he's not listening and it scrapes all down the principal's driver's side

door like and like a big wing strip yes and mike's door fucking like buckled up and shit

and it never closed right after that yeah you had to like try to close it three times with the stick

after it was so weird but yeah like so mike had to pull up and we looked at it and it was like

bad it looked like someone took a chisel down the side it was like a dark black car it was like

all on the side of this nice fucking car i don't know it wasn't a beamer but

it was maybe like a lexus i think or something like that yeah but yeah um we never heard shit

about it though like now there probably would be cameras there and they would have known who the

the student was and they we'd go to jail and get sued but you still in high school i was yeah it

was high school this is my sophomore year this is my junior year i think yeah that was mine too

right after i got my license man it was early junior year remember because it was cold yeah

that's why i usually would i would do another way for me to skip but i had to be outside for a while

but i was like fuck it it's too cold i'm gonna ride the bus into school and just literally get

off the bus and take about you know just walk right next to you know where the bus dropped me

off and it's like right into my friend's car like see ya peace perfectly clear no one ever said

shit about it but after that we didn't do it again i remember we didn't do it again but we

were scared we were gonna get caught but nothing ever came of it yeah that was crazy anyway another

Another story, yeah.

Another Carlito youth story.

I know you guys all love it.

True story.

All right.

Next prank call.

Did we send Subway there?

Did we get the Subway?

What happened?

No, I started getting on a tangent.

People call their back, and we're past the 10 minutes to call back the first guy.

Yeah, yeah.

All right, well, let me.

Guy, you mean the girl.

Yeah, the girl was the last call, and we said to them to go pick up.

Yeah, we got to call that now.

yeah we're gonna call the starbucks back well let me get subway over there too in the meantime so

hopefully by the time we're done hey listen mira mira hello this is subway how can i help you i'm

a starbucks down i'm a starbucks over here next uh down the uh corner you know yeah mira we got

a whole bunch of your stuff over here got delivered you need to get this shit out of here man

you are delivery they delivered a bunch of stuff i have a stupid asshole over here who signed over

over for it and it's a bunch of subway meat it has here salts peppers bread what was this huh

just now the fucker left because our our delivery we received it until the morning tomorrow so no

he came some guy came down delivered a bunch of shit man you need to get the shit out of here i'm

not gonna put it in the cooler it's gonna go bad um you know matter of fact you got 30 minutes i'm

i'm gonna pour bleach on it and throw it outside motherfucker well i'm sorry it's um it's not my

fault it's in the way it's in the way god damn it i have customers over here complaining that

there's that there's uh stuff here in the middle where the seats go but i mean it's obvious why

there's a guy do that you should have um tell him to stop i don't know why listen listen i said i

wasn't here i was in the office okay i wasn't here asshole did it and i fired him for it okay

Okay, what else do you want me to do?

I sent them home.

Motherfucker.

Well, let me call my manager because I can't go.

I haven't even closed my restaurant.

Stupid motherfucker, you.

Hurry up.

All right.

I feel bad now.

All right.

Listen, we're going to call the name Starbucks.

Let's see if anyone will show up over there.

Let's see.

Gene, this is yours.

This is the lady who said I had a bad accent.

That you had a bad accent.

That's the one we want.

Exactly.

You read my mind.

I was going to say that.

Get her on.

Let me start.

that twat get that twat on now remember i sent someone from the wendy's next door and from the

outback steakhouse two doors down and someone from the subway but i don't think she's gonna go yet

keep her calling sir i'm gonna help you yeah hi it's uh it's jim stewart that's uh i called earlier

no listen i wanted to apologize what a bitch did she hang up yeah she said yeah i try again

because i want it i want to apologize and then i'm gonna get more wound up by actually reversing

see what i'm saying all right i wonder if she said i wonder if anyone showed up yet

it's a psychological tactic yeah i think someone showed up though because she sounded kind of

pissy still you know what i mean like she still remembers that's a good thing yeah yeah all right

let me uh change the caller id to a local area code and something different so hang on and there

we go okay though miss i wanted to apologize can you can you give me two minutes no frankly i have

to work. It's something that

adults do rather than being

housed like you guys are.

Did anyone else show up?

Let me and the other people in this shopping center do our jobs

and leave us alone.

You challenged me, you bitch-cunt whore.

That's lovely. Oh, what happened

to your British accent?

It's not me. It's another guy.

Good bye. Have a wonderful night, children.

You're a genius.

The Starbucks manager is a genius, everybody.

Fuck yeah. She's brilliant.

him she knows that we won we won that dude come on i like her i think she's really fit

let her settle down and we'll call her back right yeah a little bit later because she's

okay now we gotta call the first guy back at the indian shop remember okay who was this now

let me get that number again second indian shop we called right yeah it was at four after

we made that last final call at four after was it the it was the taj palace indian right yeah

I don't know the name of it.

I just know that there was an Indian called that ended at that point in time.

It was a certain one that Jim did.

The guy that says, stop calling.

Yeah, okay.

Oh, he's a live and I argue, too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's pretty good.

He might be closing.

If you want to bring me in, let me know.

I'll try to be as fast as he can.

The piss and the rice.

Thank you, Hockey Man.

The brother.

That's right.

I'd like to make an order.

Okay, can you come within 10 minutes?

We are ready to...

Yeah, yeah.

I'm in the car now.

I'm coming.

me okay one garlic naan okay okay uh do you have one butter chicken yes okay and then my brother's

gonna make an order one add one thing go ahead hello uh why what to make please uh what to have

some rice and a bit of chicken and a bit of egg and uh that's about it but if you can do me a

Could you put your thing in the wife

and then put that into the wife?

Hello?

Monkey?

Mother should.

There he goes.

Can you hurry up?

I think that was a bit too extreme.

We're getting too close.

I don't know why.

I think that was a different guy.

It should be more subtle.

Yeah.

But I think that was a different guy.

We were starting from the beginning.

Yes.

Do you understand my meaning?

Did you email me that?

It doesn't look gay, you know what I'm saying?

I'm like, yeah, I look a little bit gay

Oh, yeah, sorry

Jin, did you say you emailed me those pranks?

I don't see you

Yeah, boy, I emailed you those pranks

I'm looking at your inbox

Oh, you can run you to San Francisco, Jin

You'd crack up, man

You can pull some money

I might have given you the wrong

uh what do you give me no no i saw i put the at in there instead of the two oh no shit no instead

of the two yeah because i understand the american keyboard layout too yeah sorry yeah just try that

again shall we i said the two again let's just try it again yeah yeah unreleased yeah yeah that's

my fault my fault yeah i was gonna ask you what the hell that other one was i didn't want to

comment until after the show yeah it's it's a long story it is a screen sharing application

to have it has a bug currently that doesn't let you use the left shift key when you're

on another screen and i actually know you're an email off by heart why the fuck do i need

i don't know why i need it i do it to everybody i don't know yeah all right here we go forwarding

you the family now anyway everybody we are respecting the people of the shopping plaza

and letting them do their work and we're moving on this is what that lady asked for

and we're providing her with that service so yeah i gotta download those i forgot to download them

what was the name of that song the shit is it the shit is it oh what was it um

the tupac version uh shit shit don't stop i know is that california thing california

alert yeah yeah california something like that california love nope that's nope man calls it

hubba bubba that's the song

you guys are so much older than me all this fuck i never really i wasn't i was the

The late Dre and the early Eminem sort of era.

You were post-murder days.

Yeah, you were after the Kings got shot and killed.

Yeah, this is it.

I know this.

Milkman's favorite rap song.

He's like, yeah.

I love it.

Watch, this is a hammer rap.

It's fun.

He calls it California.

The song is called California.

All right.

Anyway, next number.

Here's an AMTN.

Put this on our hit list, okay?

This will definitely be played on the show.

Okay.

We can fucking make fun of it all we want, but we definitely got to play it.

Okay.

oh what happened to the turkish horse guy oh yeah he he went a little crazy in the head

he's real yeah he got really mad oh no he started getting calls from me but also from everyone else

in the fucking out there yeah the club got up to him and the number got out to the club yeah

yeah we got into some little bit yeah he goes he was mad uh let me see if i can play he figured

out my name and shit hang on let me see if i can find you hang on i'll find you i'll find you the

uh can we bring him i mean is he still available no no no no don't bother him no no we i came i

i had a heart-to-heart with him there's a lot of danger surrounding that call we uh agreed to

Until, yeah, just...

Not one of his wives.

Faison, yeah.

Yeah, Faison.

I plan to go there one day, though.

It's Faison, not Faison.

We're going to do a real live on the scene deal,

the next one,

because the other methods have been exhausted

at this point.

Yeah.

She's really funny.

I thought she was nice.

Here, listen, Jin.

You'll enjoy this.

This is one of his...

There's been a lot of fun that you catch up on.

Quiet, Malcolm.

Mute up.

Hey, Carlos.

I don't know if you have fun.

That was in July, three months ago.

July 3rd, he sent that to me.

So, stuff like that.

Let me see if this is him or someone else.

That's it.

That's all he left.

That's all he did.

Let me see.

Here's a really long one.

He used to have these long babbling ones.

Then he'd break into Turkish on your ass.

This one came to me.

This was someone spoofing my number as theirs and trying to get me in trouble.

And I think this guy, listen.

What's up, fuckhead?

Call

me again i'm gonna i'm gonna

fucking put it down here right now and you know who i fucking am you jackass okay already went

to fucking police because your little fucking buddy that fucking called me the other day

telling me my daughter was sexy nothing bag fucking bitches i'm waiting for that one but

But I'm warning you, because I'm not a fucking jerk like you, and I'm not a fuckhead.

But, you know, what the jerky boys do, stupid dumb assholes.

Because I just got your messages.

Can't even fucking do a script.

Man, you're such a moron.

Now laughing your ass off, but you ain't even funny.

Fucking actually, first I've ever met.

You have no goddamn fucking common sense.

So you want to give me a call back, and record me again?

Because hopefully you need to go to fucking prison, man.

You go to fucking jail, at least.

You will get a fucking goddamn visit from the police.

You might get them anyway.

You might get it anyway, because I already turned your ass in.

They already heard your messages, you stupid idiots.

You know, if there's one thing you don't cross in this world, and that's somebody's child,

you don't fucking talk to a girl who's sexy.

Or you become a fruit nut, and the cops don't like you.

Go your day, you fucking idiots.

Why don't you call me and give me your address, and I'll come handle you myself.

Put me?

Get some balls, man.

Don't make it your job.

That's how it's going to align you and fucking prosecute you.

That's why.

You shouldn't have fucking went there.

You should have just left me alone.

You grow up.

You put an ad on fucking Craigslist, you fucking recording studio.

Fuck them people.

You need to be locked up, dude.

You need to be, because you're doing this to everybody.

I'm not dumb.

I know what you're fucking doing.

I know.

Come on, dude.

I line with children, dude.

Don't ever fucking cross somebody's line, because you do, dude, child molestation is

not, it is running rampant, and you're, you're one of the reasons.

You know what I mean?

Dude, you can keep this message, you can play it for somebody, but you've been bugging me

since March 27th with your fucking games, you cucker.

I fucking like it.

You get me?

Give this to anybody you want, but you're already turned in.

It's going on since, and I can't call you, because you got all these pussy-ass, backwards-ass

fucking phone numbers.

When you can fuck with my voicemail, you can change my voicemail.

You can change my voicemail password, you motherfucking produce and show yourself, man, like a man.

No, you can't.

Yeah, so that's that.

That's long.

That's brilliant, man.

You know what?

That's the first time I played that, actually.

Well, that guy is so full of shit, man.

I can't believe he made all that polished shit out of me.

What is his major malfunction?

He's thick, don't you think?

Because if he actually really did turn you into the police,

in a court that is the the worst possible thing that that's going to completely throw the whole

case out you know he has absolutely nothing because as soon as you play that message in

your defense the whole case will get dropped but that's why with the turkish horse when he said

this shit carlos why don't you answer your phone if he's a shit i need you to lick my bowl and suck

my dick so when he said shit like that i was like perfect thank you no problems man that's all

Yeah, but there's a logic

to prank calls. I mean, people like this guy,

he got well upset. I understand he got upset

because of his daughter or whatever,

but there's a way to deal with prank calls.

Somebody said it was trying to set us up is what it was.

Well, that's what it was.

But you don't have to deal with it.

And use his number and play

the trick on him against this guy's daughter.

It wasn't Carlito.

It's one person who went out

and figured out what my number was

and put fake Craigslist ads.

Oh, I understand.

Yeah, and then would call people also using my number and start shit with them.

Right.

We got blamed.

Someone pays you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But the thing is, you know, people don't really have to take prank calls.

You can just not take them.

You can deal with them differently.

I don't know why people get so upset on the phone.

You don't actually have to do it.

There are better ways to deal with it.

I just don't get it.

Not unless it's to call the guy's daughter and play the voicemail to her.

Okay, yeah.

That sounds brilliant.

Brilliant idea, sir.

Nice.

oh shit our listeners hey i gotta take a break but let me download these real quick here

oh uh let me get dwight on here hang on dwight wants to join us mr dwight mr dwight mr brotsky

mr dwight hello welcome to midnight we're gonna be taking a break in a moment for some of us

download current calls so any of the you sent me two i guess do you recommend one over the other

yeah yeah definitely get the one with the loud music that was quite funny loud music gotcha

yeah all right that'll be our first call on the break of music and then later on i'll play that

other one excellent anyway so look guys i'm gonna be back in a little bit we have more

portrait studio numbers that we can call i'm excited about that um we can do plenty more

numbers that dwight you've sent in a few numbers quite a few tonight already also correct sir

it's a bunch of indian restaurants in new mexico i like indian people when they are talking body

how can you not we can even call those scammers back again why not scammers the the indian tech

support scammer oh yeah yeah that's always fine oh i had one raging against me last night he was

trying to fuck dashie's virtual machine up really bad so dashie set up a virtual machine that that

can be used for them to get to to hack into and shit and he was trying he was trying to

reinstall windows and shit he was going fucking crazy on it wow you should set up a virtual some

you could do that you could set up a virtual computer right and then get like uh and just

do all sorts of weird shit with it and then get one of these idiots to like do remote access

because you can fuck with a virtual machine it doesn't really matter yeah dwight uh dashie has

that already right that's what you were using or you guys were yeah you know yeah dashie had

had the virtual machine set up and then uh we use team viewers so we can watch and uh so then you

know we we go through the steps with him and then you know he accesses the uh virtual machine

remotely and like i start giving him a bunch of shit well dashi also has a website where you can

make custom errors you can just write whatever you want and it pops up on the virtual machine like

error go fuck yourself punch hold and shit like that on the virtual

but i've got a much better idea next time you do something like that just put like a background of

porn like hardcore porn like really good porn like in the background and then when you like

do something make it play a video or something make it play a porn video with loud like really

full loud volume he sets up a bunch of traps and like he locked out notepad and the guy was

getting epically pissed he's like open notepad and i'm like i don't know how it's broken he's

He's like, open fucking notepad.

And I was like, he was so pissed.

Did you record this or did you wait?

I don't know if Dashie recorded it, but I was the one talking.

And, you know, Dashie was running the virtual machine.

He's like, open notepad and I'll show you.

I'm like, I don't know how to open it.

Shit like that's got to be recorded.

I got to hear his shit like that, man.

Fucking with him on the virtual machine.

If you record that and just do a screen capture of the whole thing, too, man,

and put that together on YouTube, that's hilarious, dude.

Yeah, that's definitely something to do.

All right, listen, we've got to take a break.

I'll be back in about five, six-ish minutes.

I'm just going to stretch my legs.

Jen Stewart, Dwight Milkman, and maybe others.

We've got plenty of prank calls to come.

Thank you.

Be right back.

One call station in the nation

In the prank call nation

Now's radio will be back right after this

Hello

How are you?

Yeah, fine, fine, not bad

Yeah, very good, very good, very good

I got

Hello, sir, how can I help you?

Why, why are you laughing?

Yes, sir, please, please

Why are you laughing?

Listen, listen, listen

Please, sir, but how can I help you?

I just farted you

Yeah, listen, I got

How stupid are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Huh?

How stupid you are on a scale of 1 to 10?

1 to?

1 to 10.

1 to 10?

Yeah, what would you say about 8 or 9, 10 being the stupidest and 1 being very clever?

What would you say?

Very clever, I think.

You say 10?

Yeah.

You think 10, yeah?

No, I don't think so 10.

I usually think 1.

1? You are stupid.

Oh my God.

Yes, sir.

Tell me, how can I help you?

All right, look, I need to make more curry.

I got an experiment that I'm doing on some mice in my laboratory,

and I need to get much, much curry so that I can make the mice turn into Indians, yeah?

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So I need to order lots and lots of chicken tikka masala,

pilau rice,

full tandoori chicken.

Just one sec.

Yeah.

How many chicken tikka masala?

Sixteen.

Sixteen?

Sixteen chicken tikka masala.

Small, yeah?

No, we don't do small.

Oh, how big is it?

It's enough for one person.

One person? No, we're talking about mice.

Let's see.

Okay, one chicken tikka masala.

Yes.

Forty lampa sandal.

Four lampa sandal, yes.

Forty.

Forty?

Yes.

Okay, hold the line, please.

Okay.

Hello?

Hello, sir.

Hello, how are you?

Fine.

Yes, I was just talking to your colleague there.

What was his name?

Who?

The man who just...

Shah Ahmed, yes.

Yes, who are you?

Shah.

You are Shah and he is Shah Ahmed?

Ahmed.

How can I help you, sir?

Oh, he is Shahmed and you are Ahmed.

His name is Ahmed.

My name is Shah.

How can I help you?

Ah, Shah and Ahmed.

Yeah.

This is Mr. Stewart.

I wanted to make an order.

Yeah.

I'm doing a medical experiment on mice.

Yeah.

Where I want to feed them lots of Indian curry to turn them into Indians.

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I want Indian mice, you know?

I think you should be looking.

You should be phoning pet shop.

I think I should be calling the hospital, man.

Yeah.

To get mental admission, you know?

You want to go there?

Yeah, I'm Pagol, man.

Pagolay.

Pagol.

Bored Pagol, man.

Bored Pagol.

You know Bored?

Yeah?

Why don't you come around here?

Then we'll give you the Indian curry.

You know, you can feed it to the mice.

But why are you being like that?

Why are you being like that for?

Because I farted on your colleague.

That's why.

Why don't you come in front and do that?

Sorry?

Why don't you come in my restaurant?

Because I've been to your restaurant.

What happened was

I took a shit on you

And then I left

That's what I'm saying

You know

Come to the restaurant

I took

I took a Polaroid picture of you

And I took it to the toilet

And took a big shit on it

Come to the restaurant

And I'll sort you out

You'll sort me out

Will you

Yeah

You're not money

No no

You come to me

No you're not money

Yeah I am

I am

Actually I am

I've got the balls

To come to your restaurant

And shit on you again

Come you know

I'll put like you know

A talk over behind the phone

Yeah

You dirty sood

You know

You know, it feels like you're talking behind the phone, mate.

Shah.

Hello.

Yeah, who's Shah?

Who's like you?

Who's Shah?

Who's like you, you know, talking behind the phone?

Why don't you come down here?

Who's Shah?

You know?

Shah.

Shah Lagandu.

Or your mum.

Shah Lagandu.

Ulu Kapata.

Hello.

Hello, sir.

How can I help you, sir?

How are you today, man?

Fine, sir.

You sound very tired.

Okay.

I'll speak to you later, yeah?

No, speak to me now.

Let's go.

Guy tried to break in my truck.

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Yes, it's a long way to test out Puerto Rican.

Madhouse Radio will be back right after this.

Hello, Roldan Gold.

Hello.

Yeah, I'm Mr. Stewart calling here.

Yes.

I hear the music in the background.

Can you make it quieter, please?

Sorry, but it's not our music.

It is your music.

I can hear it in the background.

and why is it playing so loudly?

Can you hold the line, please?

Yes, sir.

Hello?

Hello, yeah.

This is Mr. Stewart speaking.

Are you the manager there?

I'm not, yeah.

Who are you?

Could you just bear with me?

I'll talk to the manager.

Yes, please.

Yeah, OK.

Hi, can I help, sir?

Hello, yes, sir.

Are you the manager there?

That's right, yeah.

Yeah, excellent.

What is that loud music I can hear in your premises there?

Can you turn and make it quiet, please?

There is no music on at the moment.

The music system's actually switched off.

But I can hear the music from where I am sitting.

Are you sure it's from this?

I believe it is your premises, yeah.

Can you not hear it in your premises?

It's not even on. There is no music on.

You're more than welcome to come down and listen.

I'm quite aware.

Can you go to the outside and see if you can hear it?

Right. Hold the line one second.

Yes, yes.

I've just been outside to the back.

I can't hear any music at all.

Outside into the back.

Yes, I've just been out there.

Like an idiot, you went into the back.

Right, well, I can't hear anything at the front either.

Yeah, I'm saying, I'm saying it's my music.

I put it on.

And I got you to walk outside.

Like the idiot you are, you went into the outside, into the back.

You bloody idiot.

Right, who is this?

This is Mr. Stewart.

From?

From here.

Where's here?

In Bangladesh.

Right, okay, do you want to come down and say that to my face, you fucking motherfucker?

Eh, do-la-la-la-la, suit-ma-ra-di-voix, you bloody idiot, I'll come there right now.

By the way, yeah, you know your mum?

Yeah?

Get out of my house, because I'm fed up with sucking her every night.

You're an idiot, man, shut up about my mother, you son of an owl, you.

Your mother? I'm such a dirty bastard.

My mother is your mother.

What?

I'm fucking your grandmother.

Yeah?

And your daddy and nanny and everybody, yeah, they're sucking my dick every night.

Is it?

It's not disgusting.

Listen, do you have any, do you have any sister?

And then after that, if you want, I'll bend you over and fuck you up the ass as well, bitch.

You dirty boy, I'll come right now and you can do that.

Come on then, come down and I'll do you.

Yeah, I'm coming, I'm coming now.

I'm sicker than you, mate. I'm a sick bastard, yeah?

Yeah.

I'll make your whole fucking generation cry.

You think so?

Sick motherfucker.

I'll be there, I'll be there and we'll talk about it.

Okay, come down, yeah?

Yeah, I'm coming.

I'm coming, I'm coming, yeah?

Go outside and listen to the music for a while, okay?

Listen, yeah?

I'll come and wank in your face as well, you bitch.

Are you gay?

Why would you say that to me?

You know that.

You're making me so fucking horny.

Come down.

I think you are a gay.

Why are you gay?

Well, because, you know, when you sound like that on the phone,

you make me want to fuck you.

So come down.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

And then we'll listen to some music together, okay?

Yeah, okay then.

Bye.

Some reggae music.

Yes, thank you.

Bye-bye.

Yeah, bye.

Seven, eight, five.

Put your GPS in your box.

Door at the bottom.

So when you die, you open up trap door at the bottom.

You check the GPS and you go to the house.

House Radio is back.

You are bigger than a woman, better than a woman, to be behind you, to not let a woman

make you who you are.

But against the party.

Light that up.

Oh, shit.

You done fucked up, man.

You done put two of America's most wanted in the same motherfucking place at the same

motherfucking time.

And we're back.

Hello.

Carlito back here from the house radio machine.

I am the host.

With me here tonight is Milkman.

Milkman.

Manito, man.

You got her cooking tonight, you boys.

Yeah, nice shit in the toilet.

Jim Stewart with us here.

Welcome back, sir.

Hello, hello, yes.

Thank you.

How are you today?

I'm good, thank you.

Thanks for sticking around.

And Big Dwight's here.

Thanks for playing, though.

That was really good.

No problem.

That was great, man.

Welcome.

Those calls are brilliant, Jim Stewart.

I laughed my ass off.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

The first one was, I had already put it in there.

Oh, you already had that?

That was something I did ages ago.

Yeah, I had already set it up for the break,

and I forgot to take it out to put that one in.

and I made a mistake.

So it was the second call,

wasn't it?

The loud music one.

Yeah, yeah.

The one right before

we came in.

That was funny.

Fakie guy actually

went outside.

I don't live that far

from him.

That's the funny thing.

I could actually

pretty much walk there

within three minutes.

Nice.

Shitty place then,

Jin?

Is that what's

going on over there?

Should we what?

Is it a shitty place?

Is it a shitty place

to go eat?

No, I'm in Notting Hill.

It's a pretty good area

to live in, actually.

No, I mean like, well, to eat, though, that place is a crappy place.

I haven't actually, I don't really like Indian food, but that place has a good reputation,

and it's quite fancy, but the people that work there are quite stuck up, so, yeah.

Fuck them, right?

Worth calling.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Seth, do you think any of these are still open, these Indian restaurants, Dwight?

Who knows, right?

Yeah, it'll be a crapshoot.

Yeah.

We get a local port-a-potty rental place.

I don't know if it's 24-hour or not.

My girl kicked me out.

I need to live in one.

I want a portable shower.

Hello, and thank you for calling LDR Site Services.

Please listen as our menu options have changed.

For sales, please press 1.

For customer service, including questions regarding existing orders, press 2.

For accounting, please press 3.

I said 2.

Typical woman doesn't even listen to you.

Right.

Thank you for calling LDR

If you need immediate assistance

Please email us at

Info at local

Dumpster rental

If you need immediate

News service please call

800-783-1741

All other requests

Please leave a message

Leave your message at the tone

Did you get that number? I think I got it

Hey you motherfuckers you got a really stupid

Idea over there of how to run a phone

A phone tree

right guys

no you say yeah right

I don't understand he said nude

nude

if you need immediate nude decision

who says that

there we go

I'll try option one

immediate service

get easy

thank you for calling LDR

if you need immediate

I can't

i can't do it i can't i can't i'm sorry i got that other number hang on let's try it my bad

what the hot room uh no no the long distance reach art agent yeah this company gave a different

number just now for emergency service or new service some toll free number they gave that

okay fuck them sexy music like those voicemails i played the old uh the ones from three months

months ago your call has been forwarded to an audience the truth that guy that call i think i

changed his voicemail i think that's what he was pissed about oh but he came back i didn't use your

number but i think i changed his shit but he was all pissed off about it this was five weeks ago

it says so i have no idea yeah it was five weeks ago as long as yeah and then like he also he said

hey i remember those deals where you change a couple of the not the voicemails twice there was

was a show probably about about a month and a half ago uh we did three calls and i think i

changed two voicemails out of three oh my god that's like oh man we're on a fucking roll down

just be careful man i'm just saying i don't know oh i quit doing it no you can't i mean you can

but just be careful man it's on you you're a big boy now you're one of the bosses the hogs

around here all right so you back down to the turkish horse what the fuck i back down no i

I can't talk about that.

He backed onto it.

I backed onto it.

Yeah, he forced me to take it.

Hey, look at that text.

That's the latest text that came from my guy that had that long rambling.

He cut his fucking spell.

Yeah, faggot with a G-I-T.

I love it when they say that.

Who is this guy now?

The guy that you said the long voicemail got changed and all that shit.

This is from five weeks ago.

The same day he left that voicemail, he sent this.

So I don't know if it's the same.

I think it's the same guy.

to someone's maybe kept fucking with him you should call him fucking change your color id

i'll talk to him can you do like a big black guy's voice yo this motherfucker i'm a motherfucker

i'll do the fucking dwight voice to him i'll fucking run it up down the tree

bitch i kicked your i remember yeah you were doing a show and they're like you get the free

studio equipment and like you just started running with it and you were sending people

but that's just like fuck you and yeah i kept saying i kept testing back fuck you motherfucker

yeah like because badson said yeah uh brad did this thing where he texted a bunch of people

once fuck you motherfucker it's hilarious i'm like all right i'll do it yeah he's like

just recall they're like what the fuck why'd you say fuck you motherfucker i don't appreciate that

do you guys know about these um i think there's this one guy uh who's doing texts uh to random

random ads on craigslist and it's it's fucking hilarious i'm gonna try and get you the link and

share it but the guy's got like a web page and he shows up there so funny oh my god oh yeah if you

like reading it's but it's hilarious i'd be into that yeah i think you would love it it's just so

funny yeah no doubt let me know what that is hang on just changing the color id dwight yeah i mean

if jen would have asked a couple days ago if i could do a black voice yeah fuck yeah we would

had that whole you know weird headache dwight had the new computer and his voice is all black

that was so weird it was so weird i don't know i'm still kind of creeped out i had a nightmare

about it hey look dwight all right speaking of which there you go here's that motherfucker

oh that's just motherfucking motherfucker you want some free uh studio equipment there you

cocksucker yeah it's fucking dwight you son of a bitch hey bagley hey bagley the fuck you talking

about bagley you cocksucker you got a dick in your mouth you got something in your ears you

can't understand nobody says you're a fucking neighbor you piece of shit i'm from fucking

trenton new jersey you're a dumbass dude this is my neighbor that way on my phone dude and i got

your number you know what you don't come over there and finger your fucking asshole just so

you get some sense in your head hey remember i know where you live rob where do i live where

do i live do i i'm over here on birch street he thinks you're rob what the fuck is that

he's been having this war with somebody and they think it's us oh shit yeah the net the number

that's on the caller id is coming up as his his neighbors i shared that link by the way

okay good good i'll take it nice yeah he gave us a fuck you button all right let's continue

for sure once again the dirty neighbors i ate bad today i had a i've been doing good but i had

today i had a splurge a little i had a spicy penne pasta with chicken and uh and a vodka

Vodka sauce.

Oh, it was so good.

Vodka sauce.

Yeah, vodka sauce was good as well.

Remember when we did those calls back when the island went to hell?

We did the Orange Glow calls with that guy down in Florida before he died.

What the hell was that guy's name?

Oh, Billy Mays.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Those are on YouTube now.

Yeah, there's Ryan.

There's a cat named Ryan.

I'm not sure what name he goes by, but he's been putting up.

he created a new youtube channel for us which is the madhouse classic youtube channel

and if you go there you can see our older pranks like i think it's mostly stuff before 2008 2009

maybe the ladies he's starting with the very old ones and putting them on youtube it's really cool

stuff so thank you to him and i request for everyone to check that out social movement he

he was talking about earlier yeah it's our new there's a new youtube channel that someone's

managing for us that he's doing a good job putting we're doing a really good job with

our old prank calls putting them on youtube so if you guys want to help us out you can you can

help me out by going there and at least subscribing and liking some of those videos and at least

viewing them and trying to spread those because there's some really good pranks in there some of

our old shit yeah he does a good job with the pictures and this and that all right jen i'm

I'm definitely going to check this site out.

Thank you for that.

Yeah, yeah, have fun.

I wouldn't do it on the show, but...

That's Textastrophe.

Astrophy.

Text Astrophy, yeah.

Very, very funny.

There's one about bulldozers.

The gym equipment is really funny.

but there's loads of them in there i went through the entire lot because after you've read one or

two you'll see that they're just brilliant yeah that's that's just i love it when the shit like

that i come across shit like that excellent okay moving right along back to prank calls

well i'll try to see if he picks up again do it hang on we let him cool laundry there

popcorn that's what i'm gonna buy tomorrow microwave popcorn he's he's hanging right up

now fuck is that noise i don't know i think milkman's making popcorn milkman you're making

making a lot of noise what are you doing popcorn i i thought it was me that yeah i'm making popcorn

on bus thanks great good job buddy this is a good show it's worthy of popcorn sit back

all right so next here let's see if we can get an answer from this place

what about that lady that fucking do you think she's calmed down though oh starbucks drood yeah

Yeah, right.

That twat.

How dare she talk about our Brits?

How dare she think that Jin isn't British?

I want to make you feel calm.

Oh, man, I'm insulted.

You know, the funny thing is, a guy from the Subway restaurant also came after we just last called.

So she's really...

At least she was for a second.

But again, she challenged me to call back after I really pranked her.

Are they close?

No, I don't think she's having it.

9.20 p.m. in California.

foreign and neon your opinion would it be open neon starbucks no no depending on which somewhere

openly this is selena's i think i'll probably close poor area that's a woman's voice yeah

it's missing the neon like hello hi neon hello i'm jim you have a terrible english accent yo

yeah you have a terrible american accent but you have a nice voice

i fucking started dying when i was you got a terrible british accent i was like what the fuck

she didn't know anything she's never been to britain before that's the problem well she says

that you guys don't say britain you say something else whatever that is i don't know you should say

britain i should put t's in everything yeah hey this is el palo laco yeah yeah that means the

stupid chicken right okay it means the stupid chicken in spanish the stupid motherfucking

chicken i want to make an order one chicken with stupid a whole chicken with with stupid

you want a whole chicken right with stupid yeah anything else one stupid one what stupid you want

with uh juicy chicken yeah but i want stupid with it i want some i want some stupid some stupid do

you know what i mean by some stupid okay okay i need one side one side i need one side uh what

What size would you like?

One carbohydrate.

We don't have any, though.

You don't have any carbohydrate?

What do you have for sides?

We have rice and beans.

Carbohydrates.

What else?

Black beans.

Carb, no.

Okay, what else?

Carb, no.

Carbohydrates.

What else?

WL.

What else?

WL.

We don't have any.

You don't have any peteros?

Just rice.

Carbohydrates.

What else do you have?

Do you have any plantains?

Yeah.

Carbohydrates.

Do you have any yuca?

Oh, shit.

Do you have any malanga?

Do you have any bonito, boniato?

No.

Do you have any adobo?

No.

Do you have any aceite?

Uh, do you have any food?

Do you have any crica?

No.

Do you have any pussy?

No.

You've been so rude, you know, sir.

Yeah, I have a big penis.

Everyone else, say something.

I have an enormous coat.

Hey, listen, bitch.

Let me order some of the, uh, the fucking, uh, cunt flaps.

Let me get an order of that.

Easy, buddy.

That's very sexist.

Easy, buddy.

Sir, good jerk.

Easy, buddy.

She's gone.

uh i think we're calling an ihop no we're calling her back never mind ihop is next i forgot to ask

for one a cool shit el culo yes el taco de la madre puta madre did you hear i edited that call

for you i put it up there you did a call though he did a call though puerto rican guy in san juan

in a hotel you called him puta madre he got real mad yeah he's like la suya la suya

la suya you're saying your mom your mom who you talking about your mom all right i hop everybody

anybody want yo you were going to have a suya i do it i do it okay okay yeah hi hi how are you

honey thank you no no hold on okay one order what is that i hope international hounds of pancakes

oh oh let me have a guy okay it's a diner okay like a greasy spoon like a serious high calorie

like marshmallow and like goop on your pancakes and stuff caramel sauce i mean it's serious high

calorie american garbage yeah it's good stuff shut up without clicking over there sorry i don't even

know who love me i'm so mean i'm sorry i'm just kidding he muted himself in sadness oh my god

this is taking a lot of time shall i bounce her and call her back yes i think so i think that's

one way to deal with prank callers is to keep them on hold that's normally what i would do

is to just say hold on a second and then keep the phone down this is a good

hi there i was um like i've just got a couple of questions about pancakes i was wondering if

you could help me okay i was looking for like the recipe because um basically i live in the

united kingdom and i'm just on holiday with a couple of my friends and what i was looking for

it's just like just you know how do you make it so good i don't understand like it's so nice i've

just i could eat it all day you know it's just perfect i love it i just i love it it's just so

good the first thing we do is we mix the batter and then we put like some poo in there oh that's

so good all right go on uh-huh uh-huh and then sometimes a little bit of hot sauce and a little

little bit and a little bit of the dumpster track oh my god that's so i don't know how but how do

you make it just so good i don't understand because like if you just put it in your mouth

just a little bit and just a tiny little bit in your mouth you'll just be like oh

it's just like it's so amazing you just want to jump all over the place do you know i mean

i can understand why the american obesity rate is so high because everybody's coming to the

a bloody IHOP. Do you know what I mean?

Do you know what I mean?

Oh my god. Yeah.

So what's the actual,

what's the secret? I don't understand

what the secret is. Joey, stop it.

What? Is this Joey?

Yeah, yeah, Joey, I do know

how did you know

who he was, eh?

Okay, Joey, I gotta go. I'm gonna hang up

on you. Bye. Wait a second. Wait.

Wait. What are you up to tonight?

Do you want to go out? Joey, stop.

But I want to touch you

Oh, man

Oh, my God

Joey, stop

Come on, stop, Joey

Oh, my God

Oh, shit

Oh, yeah

See, isn't that fun, Jim?

It's fun, yeah

I wonder what Joey's

What's Joey's going to go through next time

He sees her, that's going to be awesome

here i want to touch you all right i'll stop um she thought i was somebody else i thought i might

as well be that guy wow that's what i always do like yeah hey i think you're really hot all right

here's super pollo taqueria taco place taco man fucking tacos yeah does anybody want a taco place

I'll talk to the taco motherfuckers

Okay Dwightish

Congratulations on your win

In football today

Thank you

It was close

It was in Wembley Stadium

Can you walk there

Take the tube machine

Do people eat on the tube

Hello

I bet you like Indian fuckers do right

It stinks like a bubble

It depends what time of day it is

doing like business hours is fine but like sometimes you get some wanker who comes in

with like a really stinky dish and he'll sit down and eat in front of everybody

like what chinese people really eat like chinese people eat it's it usually tastes like rotten

fish man i can't there's some really good chinese restaurants in london i would disagree with that

but there are some shit ones as well i mean i've had great chinese but what they're eating

themselves you know it's usually pretty rank oh well they cook at home yeah well they cook at home

i wouldn't know yeah it's pretty rank because i know i work with a chinese person and we had to

clear out the break room whenever she warmed up her lunch it was that bad it just tasted like

microwave garbage man and you're saying this to me and i'm trying to go out with this uh this girl

she's uh like she's chinese she's part chinese we'll just part that's fine she's got you know

whiten her you're like obama yeah but you know you never know like president cook i'll be like

like unpopular american president no you just want to go for a separate microwave

yeah fuck that oh carl's junior for you there uh dwight

fuck you i'm eating i've never been to a carl's junior

fuck you i'm eating hello hello yeah i i was just in your restroom and

And can you explain to me the attitude of the guy that hands out the towels and stuff, the bathroom attendant?

When they hand out the towels?

Yeah, there's some guy.

He says he's a bathroom attendant.

He's dressed up.

I don't know.

I guess it would be semi-nice.

And he's handing towels and asking for tips.

In our restaurant?

Yeah.

I'll double check, but we're not supposed to have that.

Yeah, well, he's in there.

And he's like, you want a towel, sir?

And I said, well, yeah, well, let me wash my hands first.

And I washed my hands.

and he said here's a towel and i said thanks buddy and i'm getting ready to walk out and he

looked me in the eyes he said what's your problem motherfucker and i said what are you talking about

he's like you're supposed to leave a tip and you know i spent all my money at the restaurant i

don't have money to leave a tip and he said he was gonna take me into the stall and he was gonna

fuck me up i'll double check but we don't have nothing like that but i was like do you know

anything about this you heard about this before no i haven't okay you got a manager i can make

complaint to yes you may he actually works tomorrow no he'll be off tomorrow but he'll be

well who's the highest ranking motherfucker in there right now jose huh you want to talk to the

manager manager it's jose oh i know i want the highest ranking motherfucker in the restaurant

right now that's jose i should not have said anything i was trying to let you know

we'll ask for jose i'm sorry don't hang up on me bitch your children will be placed in the custody

of carl's jr she ain't gonna answer carl's jr is just shit is it now it's hard right is that what

it is just oh fuck i i just thought of something really great i wanted to say to her but she's not

picking up i'll find a different one hang on sir i just pasted a number into the skype from

i don't know if it's gonna work but it seems quite funny okay all right do the old wanker

all right i'll grab that from jen but let me guess i don't know no no it's not

who knows how you doing there i was um trying to call in i called in a little bit ago but nobody

called me back i was trying to lodge a complaint uh against the carlos jr franchise yes yeah i

wanted to let you know i watched the commercials with the ladies in the the uh the burgers are you

do you know what i speak of um i believe so yeah well i wanted to let you know that i hired a

a lawyer and we're gonna sue your company uh i believe that your company has engaged in malicious

activity that gets women raped all over the country by showing these commercials i'm sorry

um i'm just a worker here but let me pass you to my manager so that you can talk to her about it

okay okay but i completely understand where you're coming from yeah i know brought to you by carl's

jr alex just give me a minute i'm gonna try finding her okay can i help you yeah is this

assistant manager yeah i just called in uh i was just making a complaint about uh an order i just

got i went through the drive-thru and uh that lady that just passed you the phone uh she called

she called me some rather vulgar names i told her i said you know the the fries were a little cold

i said you know i'm not i'm not too concerned but you know when i order a burger a certain way i

expect to have the toppings you know and she told me she goes hey you know what they don't pay us

enough to listen to this bullshit and you know i was rather offended by it so i i don't i don't

know what her problem is i mean all i'm trying to do is express my uh my my uh discontent for

the burger i got yeah i mean she didn't have to do that i mean i know it's i don't know who made

the burger because i went through the job i don't know if it's her fault or somebody else's fault

but she told me she said hey you know what i don't give a fuck and i was i was i was i was

dumbfounded i was like are you are you serious is this how you talk the person who is in drive

through is the same person who answers the phone what's that now what do you say that the same

person who's answered the phone is the same person who take your order on right through yeah you know

you know i i it dumbfounded i went through the drive-thru and i ordered and they said is that

all for you motherfucker and i was like what what'd you say now let me let me let me talk with her

Yeah, talk with her.

I'll leave it.

I can't believe it.

Hurry up.

Oh, you're waiting for the phone?

Yeah, I'm going to wait on the phone.

You talk to her.

Okay.

You said that you were going to sue our company.

She was fucking slapping?

Shit, I think she did.

I was just like, no.

I was like, I'm just a worker, but let me pass you the mic.

Let me pass you the mic so you can talk to her better.

Are you sure you're calling the wrong number?

no yeah i'm calling the right place this lady because i called her and i explained the story

i just told you and you know she said she told me i was a motherfucking liar and that i asked

for you i asked for the manager because i i can't take that kind of abuse okay let me give you a

writer for here and all right i will hear but let me my manager let me to know okay yeah because i

you know i told her i said you know the exact same story verbatim and you know she you know i was

I was like, you're the one that took the order.

You were the one on the speaker.

And she said, you're a motherfucking liar.

And I said, what?

I said, don't go talk to me like that.

Let me have your manager.

And she said, oh, yeah, you fucking wait.

I'll get my manager.

So let me, can you give me your name and number?

And I left a message for my manager.

Yeah, well, my name is Dwight.

What's going to happen to her?

I need to talk with my manager.

Uh-huh.

She needs to know about this.

Is your manager a man or a female?

Female.

It's a male.

Do you fuck him?

is that what you do do you fuck him is that how you got the job i'm not sure i need to tell her

oh okay what information do you need i also want to report she called me a candle cooing cunt okay

yeah you you're right you if you want to report that's okay yeah i want to i want to lodge a

complaint okay and i'm going to ask you what is your policy about masturbating in the uh restroom

yeah i saw i saw her she was in the and she was in the men's restroom which was weird

and she was masturbating she was she was in the men's bathroom i tried to go into the men's stall

and she was fingering her pussy and then i said what are you doing and she asked me to suck on

her fingers i said no i'm not gonna do it okay you're talking too much for me too much you never

seen her you never seen her do this yeah no we don't have to do it okay listen go talk to your

worker tell her say say i won't lodge complaint if she has sex with me she has sex with me in

in the bathroom i won't i won't complain talk with her yeah go ask her real quick i'm really

busy right now so no go ask her tell her if she has sex with me in the bathroom that i won't i

won't make a complaint she can have her job okay i talked to her but she's no go ask right now i'm

the customer i'm right go ask her i'll hold on the phone it's sunday we're busy go ask her i'll

wait on the phone i'm the customer yes sir okay go ask her i'll wait right here give me your phone

number and your name no go ask her now i'll wait right here she's with a customer right now she can

give me an over the pants fucking hand job and we'll be straight go ask her listen i'm getting

a hand job either way either it's you or it's her so you two discuss it right now i'll wait

what do you want me to do do you want to talk with her or do you want to call later

no i'll talk to her go ahead and put her on the phone just give me one second yeah put her on the

phone she's listening right now give me one second okay we'll take her place and give her

the phone okay well i'm trying

good evening this is john carl from the corporate office how are you tonight

good and yourself i'm doing just fine i got a uh customer complaint uh about some rather vulgar

language you were using with one of our customers well i'm like cutting well we had a we had a

a point that your manager they just called us about uh apparently you were swearing at a customer

at the drive-thru um yeah i know some some man called right now and was like and the only thing

he said he told me something about suing and when i heard that i was like oh like i'm just i'm just

a worker here let me pass you to my manager and she was um she was checking something in the

restroom and i i just i yelled for i was like ale like i couldn't find her but i've never cussed

at a customer like like ever okay so when the gentleman came through the drive-thru you didn't

tell him uh you know uh something around the lines of uh okay motherfucker i've got your order that

was never said no honestly when he called i didn't even recognize his um i didn't recognize his voice

like i would have recognized if i was giving him attitude or anything but i didn't recognize the

man's um voice at all so like if like because no i've never cussed through drive-thru like ever

ever ever not even like to a customer well i understand i mean this is just protocol uh but

i do have to tell you uh in order to um to please this customer he's requested that uh that you meet

him in the uh the gentleman's restroom and you are to give him an over the pants hand job do i

what uh you were to meet this uh customer in the men's bathroom in approximately 20 minutes

and you would perform a over-the-pants hand job for him?

No.

Well, do you want to keep your job, ma'am?

Because this is what me and the customer have agreed on.

And I told him that you would do this.

I'm sorry, then.

I guess I don't want to keep my job because that's something I would never do.

Well, I understand, but you're going to need to go ahead

and turn in your visor and your apron, and you're going to have to leave early.

Okay.

I'm going to put you on review, and let me go ahead and speak to the manager again,

and I'll let them know.

Okay.

All right.

Come on, really?

oh well i wasn't expecting her to hang up i was gonna fucking make it right

yeah no i'm just saying i'm not mad at you fucking they hung up asshole all right we're

gonna move on uh because nunu keeps blasting he's blasted to you the gin the me everyone

yeah nunu fucking good he wants nunu gin you're right calling a gypsy in london

i'll try all right we got a few of those numbers here here we go nunu's a wanker

and an idiot. Cornelia.

Nunu's a

wanking idiot.

The answer there, we'll call the gym.

I mean, the other gypsy who works at a gym.

Yeah, it's a little bit early.

I don't think anybody's going to pick it up.

I don't know why Nunu doesn't confirm any of these numbers.

Nunu, please send in good numbers.

Yeah, send in confirmed numbers.

Mickey Boy Maya. Not once from KDK's

show either. RBCP joining

us now. Thank you, sir. Hey, guys.

Hi. Hey, Mr.

Mr. Fake, fake, fake Britain, man.

It's your new nickname.

PCB.

No answers.

Fake numbers here.

Hello.

Hello, Mickey.

Mickey.

Oi.

Mickey.

No, doesn't sound like it.

I think he passed out.

Motherfucker.

Hey, motherfucker.

Woo.

Chicken.

Do it.

Okay, never mind.

Thank you, Nunu.

Fuck you, Nunu.

You can't send some proper numbers in.

Right, right.

Nunu, you didn't disappoint me.

You are an idiot.

it all right so what's this uh rachel patrick going on here do i what can you explain uh twitter

complainer all right twitter complainer all right so you

you want to pose as a Comcast support tech?

What's O-U-A-T?

Any idea?

No fucking idea.

Okay.

All right.

So Comcast the company.

All right.

Here we go.

You know about Stuxnet, the virus, right?

Yeah.

Yes, sir.

Okay.

Okay, is that it?

What their skills are, yes.

If there's any skills on dealing with that,

you're going to have to want to come out with all those zero-day exploits and shit.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

What are you talking about?

You really don't know what Stuxnet is?

I know what Stuxnet is, but who are you saying?

The Indian guys?

I think Milkman's having a seizure.

I think so.

What are you talking about?

All right, never mind.

Are you okay?

A stroke, I mean.

I'm going to give Milkman a colonoscopy.

I'm about to take another hit off of this.

Yeah, please.

What happened to the lady?

Get some medicine.

What lady?

Neon.

The one we had on the other side.

Where did she go?

Yeah.

Lady.

We'll call her back.

Neon's great, Jen.

I use her on a lot of my shows because nobody expects a female to fucking prank call anybody.

It's just a point.

I was going to say we need more women.

Hi, you've reached Rachel Patrick.

If we could name a number, I'll get back to you.

God, that was loud.

As I've been saying for the last nine fucking years, I've been saying that.

Oh, Milkman, fucking Gary Brodsky.

Her and Mistress Morgan were priceless against Gary.

That fucking guy.

Keep going, keep going.

I think Neon left because I was abusing her fellow woman.

I was being ignored, so I just decided to leave.

That's not very nice.

No, that's bullshit.

You got tits.

You're never ignored.

That's bullshit.

Rage quit.

My email quit.

oh nice let's leave a message number i'm calling you right now oh you oh my god i got your number

i told it on the internet and i wanted to call you i wanted to talk to you about so many things

man oh please call me back i'm going to try you later it's going to be very funny i like you i

I love you.

Bye.

Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

All right.

That's awesome.

Classic.

I want to put that on my voicemail.

Yeah, right?

Yeah, nice.

Yep, everyone should do that.

Okay.

All right, so we got a guy, Devin, who said somebody text me.

All right.

In Devin?

What, in Devin?

Devin shit.

His name is Devin.

Oh, his name.

I believe he's in America.

but he posted on facebook somebody text me

no answer in theory yeah hey what's going on devon yeah hang the phone up you effeminate

motherfucker high voice motherfucker he did all right you win yeah can't they say that somebody

sent to me for a guy called mr paul which i rang on my show some years ago okay i don't know if

If it still works, I cannot guarantee it,

but it would be very funny if he picked up.

Sure. All right. Let's see.

I sent him taxes and shit.

Mr. Pool.

Is somebody doing a bong?

Somebody. Milkman's getting his medicine.

Because he had a seizure or a stroke.

We haven't confirmed yet which.

Now I'm better.

Are you actually doing weed?

Doing weed.

No, of course not.

Yeah, I don't believe that shit.

Everyone in America does weed.

go ahead good for you i went to amsterdam and i did it and i got so fucked up i'm never doing

it again really but mushrooms i will do mushrooms i will do lse i'll do coke you know i don't give

a fuck about all that shit i'd hell i'd try i'd try opium if somebody gave it to me like in china

you get in like one of those tents and do the opium thing yeah yeah in a pipe yeah you know

what i want to do weed fuck that that really fucked me up that was a pretty stupid experience

i was so stoned i just i was looking at one place yeah and i just i couldn't move and i just kept

looking at the same spot and i was just making fucking words up in my head and making vowels

like extend it was fucking stupid it was really weird i'm never doing that shit wow that is cool

i want to do the sweat tent thing milkman you want to do that with me when we hang out we

should go drive out to vegas oh yeah let's fucking do it do a sweat get all sweaty and

i'm ashamed it's a you'll be all right all right cool what's uh all right anyone have any

suggestions for alternative medicine things no yeah yeah yeah magic mushrooms yeah there you go

i i think they it tastes like shit though i hear brad no you can put them in no i'll make something

you'll never notice it dude the best thing a couple ounces the best thing to do is grind them

into a powder and then put them encapsulate them and then eat them that way that's that you won't

You won't taste it

And

You get

Fresh tea

You can brush your teeth

Yeah tea is good too

And then you can

You can put other shit in it

Like honey

But you're supposed to have it

With lemon as well

Yeah

Mr. Poole

Mr. Poole's coming up

The great Kool-Aid

Yeah

The best way after you

Like get used to it

Is just

Hold on

Hold on a minute

Milman

We got

Hello

Your call cannot be

Translated at the moment

Unfortunate

That's a shame

Sorry what were you saying

Milman

Oh I'm sorry

I

It's great

Great flavor, great blade and all that stuff.

That piece of donut, you're like, you ain't one to fool with that shit.

Just take it and just drink it right down, swallow it, and it's over with.

And you're seeing the stars.

Yeah, touche.

The stars, wow.

Very nice, guys.

Very nice.

Okay.

Magic mushrooms, that's the real shit, man.

Yeah.

Acid is good, too, though.

Acid is good, too.

Yeah.

The collar chip is the best.

And you see the collars, man.

It's just amazing.

Yeah, drugs.

You're talking about the psilocybin, right?

Yes, I am, yeah.

Okay, because I got manita muscaria,

so we really can't get that very well over here.

I've never had it.

Oh, you should come over here.

I've got plenty.

Is the one with the orange,

you got the orange and then they got the yellow dots on it?

There's different types.

You can get all kinds.

Cubensis looks very simple.

Brown.

Yeah, Cubensis is my favorite, too, dude.

That's the one we get over here.

here that pretty much has the highest set aside if they grow wild in florida they grow wild yeah

yeah we used to get them in in cow pastures all the time yeah we dress in all black and go out

there and get them out of cow pastures you know those plastic bags that you get at the grocery

store yeah we'd fill them up yeah we filled them up four in the morning we filled them up when we

sell them at parties and shit that like not myself but i did go out once and got some and i tried

some and it was a weird experience it was okay but uh up home straight up in water man and take

that i had a kool-aid and reduce a little no it was kool-aid that was cool it was kool-aid that

was passed around in a party and i i had a serving of it and that's what's called purple jesus it's

because they add it to the great play that's purple jesus it actually was the great version

yeah you're right it was great kool-aid if i remember correctly so maybe you're right

all right all right listen hey hey this one's for neon it's a lady named crystal uh who said

she has a new cell and she wanted to be texted so yeah why don't you just tell her call her a

you know be like a woman be like hey bitch like that i'll try to be like a woman yeah like

because you're a woman

I want to request a Neon and Jim Doit call here soon.

This is Leah. How are you?

I'm fine.

This is Leah. Did you just get a new phone, madam?

Yes, I did.

Oh, you said you needed to practice your texting?

No.

You said, I got a new phone, and there's a new number, and text me.

Yeah, that was for my friend to text me.

Oh, okay. So, do you have a problem with texting?

No, I don't.

Okay, well, why aren't you texting me now?

Because I don't know you.

Well, I know you.

That's my old number, and I want it back.

I'm sorry.

It's the number they gave me.

Well, I don't deal with sorrys.

I deal with actions.

So when are we going to do this?

You've got to take your phone back so I can have my phone number back.

Oh, bullshit.

I'll try back again.

Low confidence that she'll pick back up, but we'll try again.

Don't be a phone loser.

You have reached the voicemail box of 9-8.

9-8.

Okay.

well moving right along next number thank you neon good work

oh neon you have a nice voice i think we should do a call together you think we should do a call

together i do i'll fucking you can do a british accent do that again of course i can dear better

than that's brilliant better than good it is it's bloody all right that's what i requested

right that's what we're gonna do someone lost their phone downtown and has a new number the

The name is Brie Brie.

Yeah, fuck it.

Bring him in.

I've got a brilliant idea.

All right, get ready for this, Dion.

All right.

Okay.

So this guy's lost his phone.

Yeah, I'm going to post the deets.

Post the ad or whatever so I can see what's going on.

There you go.

And I'll call it.

Yeah, nice.

Oh, shit.

Oh, man.

If I had their new...

That's their...

Is that Facebook?

Hold on a second.

Wait a second.

Oh, my God.

Wait, wait, wait.

Let me look at the...

see if it's her yeah okay can we find is her is her old number anywhere we can find ken do you

think so we can call as a caller id as her old number and say we got it uh call us who now uh

like can we try to figure out real quick what her old number is that she lost the phone that she

lost and call her back from that and be like um if you give me a second while you call a couple

other numbers i'll pass it to dashie and see what he can come up with yeah you want to try i think

that'd be actually funnier unless you we can just go with it fuck it right i guess you could just

use that number yeah well i don't know she might be stupid she might not get it uh yeah okay all

right anyway well here it is i'm gonna call her okay well that's a good idea for in the future

that'd be something cool to do brainstorming ideas yeah your call has been forwarded to

oh for fuck's sake

damn it man

I'm sure we can find

more like that then

it's a shame

it's always so unpredictable

yep

wake up

hello Brie

yeah hi

how are you

sound busy

I'll tell you what

we should

Brie

tell your kid

to shut the fuck up

that's a bit cruel

I don't think

we woke up

I'll call her back

I'll fucking

I'm gonna tell her

she's got

a kid screaming

yeah no

it's not right

she's got enough

to deal with

fuck that

that's right

it's the kid's fault it's the kid's fault we'll put the kid on we'll yell at the kid no because

i was gonna do something quite appropriate with the kid around us god darn kid you woke up your

mother jim needs to talk to you i feel bad now because now she's gonna get that kid back to bed

yeah oh yeah you didn't wake the kid up oh no as soon as i heard that oh my oh damn we know so

so much potential yeah oh well okay look uh here is uh dwight you sent in a michael who is staying

in a marriott hotel let's do my yeah all right let's try i can do the same thing i was gonna

do with him let's try it and this is in germany i will neon i want to pull you in if you're up for

it uh this is in germany i don't know if you know this in munich yeah that's fine i can start in

German.

München.

What?

Guten Morgen,

ich bin Schmert.

Tobi, darf ich...

Hallo, hallo,

guten Morgen.

Kann ich hier

Michael Haber

sprechen, bitte?

Michael Haber.

Einen Moment.

Ja, danke.

Bauer?

Richtig.

Ah, okay.

Ich verbinde Sie.

Einen Moment, bitte.

Danke.

Obviously,

do it in English.

All right.

German accent.

Now, they should

have noticed that

right away.

But they came

with this fake

English accent.

I don't get it,

Jen.

I mean, there's

something wrong

with these people.

I love you, man.

Michael.

Hello.

Hello, Michael.

Michael, how are you?

I'm good, how are you?

I'm very good. Excellent.

Actually, I'm with my wife in the same hotel and we're playing a little game.

Actually, I've got a few other guests with me.

And I was wondering if you'd like to join us for a little bit of a rampy-pumpy.

What did you say, Michael?

Michael, wouldn't you want to spank my bottom?

Hello, Michael.

Hello.

Hello, yes, Michael.

So what do you say? Do you think we should have a go at it?

Who's speaking?

This is Mr. Stewart and my lovely wife, Miss Neo.

Why do you call me?

Well, you see, we'd like to join you in your room,

and what we'd like to do is have you, in fact, tie you up,

and my wife will straddle your face,

and I will tie and tickle your feet with a feather.

Doesn't that sound exciting, sir?

Oh, that could have worked.

If someone's game, that would have been fucking brilliant.

Oh, my God.

oh man all right straddle his face and tickle his feet with a feather

that's exciting love good stuff thank you

i gotta get the accents together because i'm all over the place so

no it's really good nunu says that i sound like a british woman from the 1850s

do we want to see if stupid good gourmet popcorn is open still i don't know in long beach i doubt

it that's a waste of a call stupid idiotic you know why you know why no one would comment like

that neon oh because he's from the 1850s yeah knows what they sound like because that's when

he was going around you know fucking old as dirt man

maybe this is like a computer program out there running part of the end yeah

but it would explain a lot yo who's he a fan of isn't it no he makes fun of arsenal what do you

like jen do you have a favorite team fuck the boy yeah see there you go good do you like big

brother still you still watch big brother show i only ever watched it once and that was when that

That girl, Sam, was on there because she was fucking hot.

Oh, my God.

All right.

I think that was Big Brother 6 or something in the UK.

Fucking hell, she was hot.

Oh, my God.

The fuck is her name?

I got to check.

I'm kind of out of numbers.

I'm sorry.

I'm kind of out of numbers here.

I want to keep it.

I think you might have some target numbers.

Oh, we do.

Yeah, we do still have some of those.

Brad, would you like to do one of those?

Sure, whatever.

All right, cool.

Because you did really good.

Sam Houston.

Fuck.

Oh, my God, mate.

Mate, fucking hell, I would shag her so badly.

Didn't she have pictures leaked?

Didn't she get pictures leaked?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But she also, she's a real fucking slut.

But she actually masturbated in a box in one of the challenges on live television.

It was fucking brilliant.

That got me so hard.

I swear, she is fucking, oh.

They did that on TV there?

Yeah, they did that.

And the TV was showing the box moving rapidly.

It was fucking brilliant.

Wow.

I thought it was amazing.

that girl is yeah rare much better than ours all right all right look you want to see what she

looks like i'll post the pictures in the chat all right brad i'm doing the first one on this

list here which is amanda on that i haven't done yet rather okay the list is in the skype chat

that's not the one you did before is it no no these are not the ones i've done before yet

that one was pretty awesome yeah that was a good one uh hang on let me set the card either

though my bad almost forgot it's so easy to get these is it really oh yeah yeah that's like one

store she just sat there and read them all to me wow is it the target employee doing it or the

the portrait employee it's it's the portrait okay and um they're with i probably shouldn't say the

company they're with a different company yeah it's a different company yeah that works and i don't i

don't know if they're hooked up to target or they just like you said if they just lease space there

I don't know.

I know with Kmart they leave space there.

Because I know someone who had a really bad experience with one of them.

And Kmart was like, we can't do shit about it.

Walmart doesn't seem to have portrait studios anymore.

No, they took them out.

I remember we used to call in and hack their answering machines all the time.

They all had the exact same answering machine with the exact same code.

Awesome.

That's great.

Great work on their part.

Okay.

Now I'm ready to do the number.

Hang on.

We would listen to their messages.

and people would be calling in asking about their photos

and we could call them back.

I always wondered how the hell you did that.

Yeah, we could change their outgoing message

for customers to call.

Oh, Roy, I never knew that's how you did that.

I always wondered.

This is Amanda.

Yes.

Amanda will do Melinda instead.

Your call has been forwarded

to an automatic voice message system.

Stupid Amanda.

Yep.

Sick of her bullshit.

Horrible customer.

Bam forever.

All right, here's someone named Kayla instead.

What a stupid name that is.

Makes me want to punch her in the stomach.

Makes me want to write long poetry to her.

I'm going to harass all of her.

It makes me want to harass all her Facebook friends.

My numbers suck.

Hello, Kayla?

Hello?

Kayla?

Hello?

Can you hear me?

Put the phone up the right way to your face.

Can you hear me okay, Kayla?

Yes.

Oh, okay.

Wow, you sound awful.

Hey, this is Tim from the portrait studio.

You had some portraits done yesterday?

Oh, yeah.

There was no toilet paper.

I had to use your photos to wipe with.

Wow.

That didn't work out too well.

Oh, my God.

They got sprayed.

She doesn't believe you eat burritos.

They got the spray zone.

It sounded like you just woke her up.

She was like on her knees.

You're like, huh?

Huh?

Is this her again?

Maybe she'll...

She won't hold the phone upside down this time.

Hello, Kayla?

We got disconnected somehow.

Yeah, I heard that.

Oh, why'd you do that?

I'm trying to work out this problem.

problem we're gonna need you to pay for another set of photos because these are ruined i mean i

can salvage a couple but they're gonna have marks on wow oh well oh well i'm not a fan of that no

not at all mandy's next uh neon you want to do one of those for a woman's perspective i keep i

don't want to all right i'm sorry i'm good i'm good you guys do it i don't want to type you see

i don't mean to typecast you keep safe for a woman's perspective i'm gonna get

we should say the photos aren't ethnic enough for the diversity quota

maybe carlito should do that one like do you have any black friends maybe you could have come

i'll do that from the ethnic perspective

call has been forwarded to an automatic voice

all right nope i'll try her again i'll bounce her hang on

you're calling all right next one oh someone's doing marijuanas uh-oh i hear them

come on pick up we got time for hello you have picked kyleen's alarm switch now

okay next can't help melanie i should have picked something on the west coast so they'd be less

asleep yeah did someone drop do i drop we're again are they uh east coast then they're

i see where okay yeah still just an hour difference here

yeah it's like 12 30 they shouldn't be this asleep

should have done hawaii not like the chick we woke up with the baby

oh no you said no we didn't i was just trying to make you feel better you probably did

you stage that totally i mean you could tell i was recording she's using her baby to

just feel bad it's probably a soundboard probably wanting a real baby

A plank shield, you know, like a human shield.

One of those crying dolls.

Uses her kids to get what she wants.

The Republic Wireless member you have called is not available.

The Republic Wireless.

What is she, like a Star Wars fan?

That was cool.

The Republic Wireless.

That's got to be the next fucking...

Excuse me, JLDR.

Long distance retarded Republic Wireless.

Sorry my numbers

Are horrible

at this time that's why you had to save them all and do a morning show tomorrow yeah let me not

burn them all you know what i mean maybe i don't think i'll care save them i just like all these

ones that aren't answering just try them back in the daytime yeah better idea well you never know

we already got we got one or two to pick up so far i'm almost to the list i'm going through

but the first one you guys did together though that makes it all worth it because it was that

was a good one yeah they're wrecked nipples yep she was so pissed yeah hi is that lindsey with

With, first of all, why don't you have a D here in your name?

What's that about?

I do have a D in my name.

Well, you didn't put it on the papers.

What papers?

For the portrait studio.

With the portrait studio, we're printing all the batches out for tonight.

You know you're calling me at like one in the morning?

Yeah, I know, but we need to get this resolved

because you created a big mess over here with your pictures.

What do you mean a big mess?

Well, there's a computer system here that kicks out everything that has anything profane

profane or that's not

moral, morally hygienic.

It's a moral hygiene

filter. And you've

got erect nipples in here.

You've got people flipping

the bird. You've got people flipping

gang signs and these things.

Yeah, this is disgusting. You're disgusting

people. What are you even thinking about?

You're disgusting people for taking

coming to a public place

here like Target and taking pictures like this.

I haven't done any of what you're talking about.

You, there's a woman here, I don't know if it's you or not, but with erect nipples.

Nope, definitely not me.

Well, this is disgusting.

I have not had any pictures developed at Target.

You had portraits done.

Yeah, we had portraits done, but they were done at Target.

There were no, it was of my two kids.

Yeah, there's erect nipples on these children, apparently.

No, there are not.

Well, there's something here kicked off the computer detected, you know, like an erect

wrecked nipple and a middle finger and a middle finger no there are definitely no erect nipples

and no middle fingers was there any profanity on a t-shirt like it's something like no no it's two

little kids it says i got wearing hawaiian print outfits there is no there's nothing profane not

a t-shirt this is something like i've got a big dong no there's nothing like that i beg to differ

i have a supervisor here who's going to discuss this with you supervisor are you kidding me yeah

Yeah, Roy. Roy Gerbel. I think he's available.

Hello, ma'am.

Yes?

This is Roy Gerbel. I'm the supervisor here.

Okay.

I understand you're getting kind of loud and rude.

Because you're telling me I have profane pictures with erect nipples

and that there are pictures of my kids that have profane things on their T-shirts?

Well, that's what the computer says.

We're not going to look at the pictures if they've got that kind of thing in them

because we're a Christian company.

company okay i had my kids pictures taken at target there is no there are no or no my kids

are four and eight there are no erect nipple there are no nipples at all they're four and eight well

it's showing through the shirt you know um no there's nothing going there's showing through

the shirt okay well if you want to come in for retakes or something we could probably work

something out but we're not we're not printing these okay don't talk to my husband just a sec

Well, you can't handle it yourself?

Hello?

Hello, sir?

Hello?

Yes, that woman, she can't handle things on her own?

She has to put her husband on?

I'm sorry.

Do not disrespect like that.

Please explain to me what is going on.

Oh, I'm sorry.

My name is Roy Gerbel.

I'm the manager here at the Portrait Studio.

Yes.

And we've had several codes come up on our computer when we were trying to print these photos,

saying that there are erect nipples and other profanities and gang signs

coming up with, like, every code in the book.

And we can't print stuff like this.

Okay, let me ask you something.

Is it possible that someone in your system made a mistake and put the wrong people there?

Because my wife is trying to explain to you is the only photos she had were professionally done by your studio.

Right, we didn't make a mistake.

It's your kids that are disgusting and the erect nipples and then whatever else was in here.

Because I'm not even looking at the photos.

I'm just going by what the computer says.

Do you want to talk to my supervisor?

Yes, I would like to talk to your supervisor.

Okay, all right.

All right, let me escalate this again, just a minute.

Stuart?

Ah, yes.

Yes, hello?

Hello?

What's the problem?

Hi.

Yes, you guys are playing a really disturbing prank.

I'm going to notify the cops, and it's not going to be easy.

Okay.

I don't think anybody's playing a prank, and I don't understand what the problem is.

I've literally just walked through the door, and I have no idea what's going on.

Would you like to tell me?

Would somebody like to explain?

Okay.

Who am I speaking to?

You're talking to Jim Stewart, I'm the managing supervisor.

For who?

For the company.

What company?

For this company.

What is the name of that company?

Target Photoshop. You know who you're talking to?

Okay, because this sounds to me like a sick, elaborate prank.

Okay, well, I don't know what it is, but why don't you start by explaining to me what's happening?

Your individual called us to tell us that there were inappropriate photos of our children,

and we're very irritated because there was no such thing.

Yeah, can you pass me those photos?

Let's have a look at those.

Let me see these photos.

Here you go, Lisa.

You can look at them.

Okay.

And can you tell me what your children, what do they look like?

My son, Zachary, he's four years...

Yeah, sorry, my son is four years old.

He has blonde hair.

Okay, and your...

My daughter is eight years old, and she has brown hair.

This is dark blonde.

I'm sorry?

I see.

Dark blonde.

That doesn't look like brown.

That looks like dark blonde.

But nevertheless, yes, I don't see any inappropriate photos here,

but I do see a few mixed in.

I'm not sure, maybe you had a few others there

that you decided to do on the side.

Is that something you know anything about?

No, that's what I'm trying to explain to you.

We didn't have any photos done.

We had them professionally done at the photo studio.

Well, then, you know, it could be a mistake of the computer,

but it appears to be.

Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?

What do you look like?

There is a gentleman in these pictures.

If you can explain what you look like, then perhaps I can exclude that perhaps this is not you.

But if it is you, of course, we do have to notify the police and social services, you know, because it's quite a serious incident.

I'm a child wearing a T-shirt.

Where are you right now?

I'm at the office.

Okay.

So let's go over what you look like, first of all.

and then we can go over the rest of the

photos. Are you at Target right now?

I am indeed, yes, but I'm in the office

and, you know, it's late

and this isn't... Then I will come down to Target

right now. I don't know why you asked to speak

to me. Okay, so I have to deal

with this. So now I'm trying to help

you. So we can help each other

by making this a lot faster if you answer

my questions. Here's the issue. I am talking to

someone on the phone I do not know

whose phone number I do not recognize

talking to me about photos that were not

not take it. This sounds to me like a

elaborate scam, so I'm going to go down

there face-to-face so I can meet you as

a person and confirm that you are, in fact,

a representative of Target.

You can do that, but I can have the police waiting here

if you're making threats to me over the telephone.

I'm not making a threat.

What I'm doing is I'm making sure

that someone's not scamming my family

because this is unacceptable.

This is unacceptable, and we're trying

to get to the bottom of it, so why don't you calm down

and answer my question.

Okay, because you're asking me to calm down.

What were you wearing on the day when you came in?

What were you wearing on the day you came in?

I was not here.

So why is that a gentleman in this picture along with the other pictures of your children?

My wife was here.

She brought my kids in to have photos taken by your studio.

So who is the man?

So I'm going to come down there.

Can I ask her who is the gentleman in these pictures?

And if you are not there, I'm going to call the police.

I'm going to give them this number.

And we're going to find out what you're playing. Yes, there is no possible way that you're coming here without the police already being here. Do you understand? Okay, well, then you do you tell you that I'll tell you what I'm going to why don't you right now start by being professional instead of being a cunt. Okay, and let's talk about it rather than being an idiot. Yes, let's not jump to conclusions. Who is the gentleman in the picture?

wow you are not the father oh i wanted to try and i wanted to try and get it to the point where

you know there was a man you know who isn't involved who is the man and then he starts

asking his wife but my wife was going to be interviewed for maury povich so she needed to

take all those pictures of her and her kids and baby dad oh my god that was awesome that was great

that was funny yeah those weren't kids those were actually monkeys i'm sorry i wasn't paying

attention for most of this because i've been looking at these uh videos of sam houston so

i've been uh that's fine it worked out perfectly because she's just like the oblivious manager like

oh what what's going on or what just walked in just walked in it worked out perfectly actually

all right uh getting kind of late getting kind of late you know

to freak somebody in the uk to give him a wake-up call early monday morning hello

we get some uk wankers all right let me do that hang on if we get some uk i really want to try

that thing with uh with uh with neon we lost dwight at some point unfortunately i'm not happy

about that he raged quit like neon i don't understand what happened he beat me this time

so i'm kind of disappointed he left irc too doesn't he always have internet problems

um what's that booty call brad jen random random area in england we can call

uh random area and then listen somewhere far from here try hull h-u-h-a-h-u-l-l

nunu said that um you guys switched your clocks back yeah so to make sure that people change

their clocks and where they need to be then maybe we should go with that premise yeah that's a that's

to start but i do want to get some some sexual thing going after that i want to first you know

i want to try and arrange something because there are people who would actually go for it and

surprisingly there is a large number of people chemistry is all going exactly

yeah that's what i mean nunu wrote it in caps so you have to do it yeah when it's on all caps man

forget about it if not he'll stroke out and flood the chat all right nunu with his goo goo

do it now do it now all right here we go wake up blankers they're all adamses here

they better be awake nunu you know they'll probably wake up now now they're gonna if

they're if they're not awake kick you from the chat there you go exactly all right let's do it

video footage nunu you know his career is online here

all right let it go i don't know why i let it go for so long sorry i wasn't paying attention

here's the next one yeah that's like 10 minutes yeah i lost focus there so

spell sleep during all that hello mr adams hello hello good morning it's mr stewart how are you

mr stewart mr stewart from just down the road number 200 and then yeah yeah how are you this

ringing me at this time i wanted to just see a couple of things actually first of all did you

set your clocks back yesterday yes you did an hour later isn't it yeah or is this an hour earlier

earlier yeah that's an hour earlier yeah yeah so i just wanted to double check about that

the other thing is actually we're organizing a little bit of a festival my my myself and my wife

uh we were wondering you know uh trying to invite some of the neighbors around for a bit of uh you

you know, early morning, humpy-pumpy.

Well, hang on a second. Let me

put you to my wife. Hello?

Hello, sir. Good morning to

you. Wouldn't you like to join us in our

fanny fest? Oh, no.

We'll go right to the fanny fest.

That sounds naughty.

That old wanker had a heart attack.

My goodness. Somebody call the

squad immediately. That sounds

so naughty. All right.

C. Adams, also known

as Cadams, who lives in a

flat in Hall.

fanny fest

nia just talk about your fanny

see what happens if they pick

your fanny

that's such a like old british term

love that we're calling uk

wankers the other day and all we did was when they answered

the phone just shout fanny

really yes oh you did this already

okay yeah yeah

how'd that go they were just like what

like fanny

just hug up

it's awesome

alright we gotta get at least a few

more of these before we shut down uh g adams here one of them's bad this is gadams

yeah jadams also known as jadams we got a few of these hey did you ever let did you ever bring

the voice devil synthesizer on i wanted to hear like you and and maybe jim especially what jim's

voice sounds like with that thing yeah yeah i want to hear jim work that man can you do that

would you do that oh wow oh i can hear myself hello i don't know who gave me those numbers

yeah did i do the numbers yeah i don't know who gave them to you oh um i got them off of

dashie he has a little control panel we can use to pull numbers like that oh yeah i'm interested

interested to hear this devil voice with

English accent. Yeah, this is

a fake English accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

While we connect, while we use it, yeah, yeah.

Alright, we'll try it.

I don't think it's happening. Nope.

Sorry, another instance of me

just focusing out.

That was

306. Now

we're doing the 058

Jay Adams. Wow, there's fucking loads

of them. I didn't even see that.

My thing, my scroll was stuck at the top.

I'm just going to start sniping

of the...

Sniping.

L. Adams.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe that's like

a Lucius Adams?

Butchwood Avenue.

Let's try it.

Hello?

Hello, Mrs. Adams.

Yes, good morning.

How are you?

It's five o'clock

in the morning.

I know.

It's Dr. Stewart.

I live just down the road.

I'm at number five.

Yeah?

Yes.

Good morning to you,

first of all.

How are you?

I'm fine, thank you.

That's excellent.

Did you set your clocks

back yesterday?

Yes, I did.

That's excellent.

Well, you see,

the reason I'm calling

Good morning. We're organizing a little bit of a festival this morning, a little bit of an orgy.

My wife and I would like to get you over and tie you to the bed.

I love her sigh.

I'll try to call again because I think I heard a husband.

Yeah, get back because this is fucking brilliant.

I think I heard a husband in the background.

She's ready to take a run for it.

I think I heard a husband in the background.

Yeah, a bit of a husband, isn't it?

Hello, Mr. Adams?

Yes.

Yes, good morning. How are you?

Not very well, unfortunately, because somebody's ringing up at 12 o'clock in the morning.

Well, we have a very important telephone call, sir.

I'm Dr. Stewart. I live at number 5, just down the road.

Number 5 where?

This is number 5, just down the road from you, sir.

What's the address? Number 5 where?

Birchwood Avenue.

This is a pack of bloody lies, isn't it?

No, no, it's not a pack of bloody lies.

Yes, it is. You don't even know where you live, do you?

I do. I live at number 5, Birchwood Avenue.

Who's the number?

I'm Dr. Stewart

and my wife and I

we're organizing an early morning orgy

and we want to get you in there

would you be interested in that?

why don't you

hello

here comes milkman's train

alright now

oh fuck I was about to bring her in

oh that was unmuted

oh shit I had it muted

where did it go milkman

I'm sorry

now we have coopers

i thought it was muted fucking all right i'm sorry i'm meeting it now it's okay it's quite

common name yeah we got a cooper here we go just bring the wife on don't ask him just bring her

about it honey like that i love it when you put it like that hello your call cannot be taken at

the moment so please leave a message after the tone hello all right am cooper also known as am

Cooper I am Cooper yeah yeah yeah you're right it should be is Cooper like

will I am very special this morning oh yeah yeah yeah it's Monday fucking

morning why is nobody wait it's six o'clock man everybody should be up it's

time they're trying to sleep in because of the time change that's why I'm a

fucking time bollocks that six o'clock people should be getting ready for

fuck yeah this is b cooper hello mr cooper good morning how are you good morning who's this good

morning is mr stewart i live at number 69 just uh just down the road from you all right yes i just

said wondering how you were doing did you uh i hope i didn't wake you what time do you think it

is i it's about six o'clock okay six o'clock in the morning okay what have you rang me for

well you see i i'm i'm organizing a little orgy my wife and i would like to see if you would like

like to come and where do you live number 69 just down the road from you okay and you ring at six

o'clock in the morning to ask if i'll come into what to an orgy sexual activity involving bondage

my wife can tell you a little bit more about it if you like uh hello sir mr cooper how are you this

morning wouldn't you like to come to our fanny fuck fest at six o'clock in the morning it's not

good why not there's a bit of the old in and out if you'd say but nice to give you a tying up to

the bed you know give you a little bit of a tickle with a feather and then you can do a bit

of Rumpy Pumpy on me.

Oh, that sounds exciting.

I'd like to watch that.

Eight millimeter all the way.

What do you say, Mr. Cooper?

Your silence is rather...

The silence is agreement, dear.

Don't you say?

I would say so.

He sounds like he's in agreement.

Hmm.

What do you say, Cooper,

you old bastard?

You want to fill my holes?

No.

I guess not.

Hi, Mr. Cooper.

I'd fill your holes, Neon.

Hell yeah.

I think he freaking had a heart attack.

He was speechless

and had a heart attack

right on the phone.

he's probably running over to their house right now

he probably just dropped the photo right over

in his pajamas

what the fuck

I think I would do that shit somebody rang me

I'll be like yeah

I will be right there

20 years

you want to come to the fanny fuck fest

I'll be there in one minute

and with that being said

I don't need a minute man okay

with that being said we'll end on a high note

I want to thank everyone who contributed

tonight brad thanks for being on my man yay all right see you later buddy oh fine bye

what happened what else what'd you say i thought you were hanging out buddy oh yeah i was bye

see you then uh neon thanks for being on dude yep thanks me nice to meet you yeah

bye send me a picture your naked picture oh lord no too bad all right all right

that's rejection on live radio

milkman you want to take us out of here

add him on your definitely add him on your skype

yeah I've never run this fucking skype

add us

take us out of here milkman come on

alright there you go another

fun filled installment man

look at this

Ed Heiner's here

the amazing Jim Stewart back in town

my good days of day

too long my brother and I'm so glad

to hear from you and know that you're

doing well and your archery career is back on

track, Trev missed you.

I want to thank all our friends at 98.6

to Mal. Everybody for tuning in.

We do this every week. We appreciate you

finding us on the internet.

We drop the time. We ask you

to give us a visit.

You're always welcome right here

in the Madhouse. We could not do it

without our fearless leader, Generalissimo.

My brother,

saving lives one call at a time.

You and Jen Stewart, man, you kicked her out.

Love you both. Thank you, Milkman.

i appreciate that very nice words jen thanks for coming back you're don't don't forget you're most

welcome i'll be honored to come back again at some time in the near future yeah thank you hey

we're gonna be doing thanksgiving stuff really soon a 24-hour prank marathon jesus christ in

november we did it last year we're gonna do it again in november yeah so yeah definitely come

around for that that'd be fun man and milkman's birthday is friday my birthday show when is your

your birthday show um we should do it in the africa okay let's decide afternoon on friday

milkman this coming friday yeah what time is good for you milkman milkman and i think you just had

a heart attack about it i'm so excited um it's a fucking cannabis i'm gonna i'm gonna say maybe

like around uh eight oh you can whatsapp me right yeah we'll figure it out we'll schedule it all

Alright, alright. Yeah, he dropped out.

Alright, see you guys. Bye, guys.

Thanks a lot, Carlito. Cool show.

Bye, everybody.

That's Jen, everybody. Milkman's gone.

And we're out of here. Have a good weekend.

Have a good week.

We don't do this show on Thursdays anymore.

Anyway, see ya. Bye.

Thanks to Dwight, too. Dwight was on the show.

Thank you, Dwight, buddy.

Dwight sent the numbers to you.

And newly sent the numbers.

I gotta go pee.

Calls (37, 2 h 9 min of 3 h 59 min)

Transcript

Comments 0