Madhouse Radio – 1/9/15 Show - Madhouse Live Search

You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast.

There are more Africans here in Harlem than exist in any city on the African continent.

There are Africans.

The Charter of the United Nations, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights,

the Constitution of the United States, and the Bill of Rights

are the principles in which we believe,

and that these documents, if put into practice,

represents the essence of mankind's hope and good intentions, desirous that all Afro people and organizations should henceforth unite

so that the welfare and well-being of our people will be assured we are resolved to reinforce the common bound of preference between our people

by submerging all of our differences and establishing non-sectarian structured programs for human rights.

Number one, the establishment of Afro-American unity shall include all people of African descent.

What is it saying? Instead of you and me in our struggle, in the Irish community, it's like we do.

They're out to me to die, running away from the wolf, right into the arm of self-defense.

The first law of nature, we assert the Afro-American self-defense.

The Constitution of the United States and citizens of America

does not give up a single right guaranteed under the Constitution.

The history punished violence against our people

clearly indicates that we must be prepared to defend ourselves.

Hello?

Defenseless people.

Hi.

Can I help you?

Yeah, let's make that order.

Okay, what do you need?

Well, first of all, who am I talking to?

Kathy.

Oh, okay.

All right, I'm Mr. Black.

Hey, Mr. Black, how are you?

Good.

um did you need my first name okay can I give it anyway it's Niger like the

country black okay all right and I like to make an order god damn it I like one

egg one eggs one egg one eggs yeah with heat no no upgrades I just want heat on

On it. Heat. Make it heat. Heat. Heat eggs.

Okay, okay. What else? I have other customers. Please go ahead with your order.

Okay. One breads.

Grits, okay.

No, breads.

One bread, one piece of toast?

No, one breads.

Okay, what else?

I need the bread baked.

We don't have an oven to bake it. We can only grill it.

Well, but it comes baked already, right?

Yes.

Okay, and then I need to make an order of hash browns.

Okay, anything in the hash?

I need them smothered, covered, diced, popped, isolated, divided, fried,

oiled, salted, lubricated.

The mercy of a ruthless, insolent, racist mob.

Like me, they didn't kill him.

House Negro along behind him.

To undo what he said.

You have to read the history of slavery to understand this.

There were two kinds of Negroes.

There was that old house negro and the field negro.

And the house negro always looked out for his master.

When the field negro got too much out of line, he held him back in check.

He put him back on the plantation.

The house negro could afford to do that because he lived better than the field negro.

He ate better, he dressed better, and he lived in a better house.

He lived right up next to his master in the attic or the basement.

He ate the same food his master ate and wore his same clothes.

And he could talk just like his master.

Master, good diction.

And he loved his master more than his master loved himself.

That's why he didn't want his master hurt.

If the master got sick, he'd say, what's the matter, boss?

We sick.

When the master's house caught on fire, he'd try and put the fire out.

He didn't want his master's house burned.

He never wanted his master's property threatened.

He was more defensive of it than the master was.

That was the house Negroes.

But then you had some field Negroes who lived in huts.

Had nothing to lose.

They wore the worst kind of clothes.

They ate the worst food.

And they caught hell.

They felt the sting of the latch.

They hated their master.

Yes, they did.

The master got sick.

They prayed that the master died.

The master's house caught on fire.

They prayed for a strong wind to come along.

This was the difference between the two.

And today you still have house Negroes and field Negroes.

Field Negroes.

House Lydia, can I help you?

I can barely hear you.

Can I place an order?

Yes.

Pick up.

Okay.

Go ahead.

All right.

I need one hash brown.

Okay.

I need them smothered, covered, diced, peppered.

Diced and what?

Peppered, divided, fried, sautéed, oiled, salted, dropped, risen, resurrected, swirled.

Hello?

Yes. Combined. Okay.

Are you serious or are you just joking?

Yeah, I need the hash browns. I like that.

Okay. So you want them smothered, covered, diced, and peppered and what else?

Let's see.

Divided, fried, sauteed, salted, juiced, moved, consolidated.

Sir, I don't have time to play.

If you're going to order, then go ahead and order.

But if not, then I'm not going to sit here on the phone and play with you.

I'm not trying to play.

This isn't.

Okay.

How about.

Okay.

Eggs can order eggs.

Hello.

Yeah.

You can order.

You can order whatever you want, but I'm not going to sit here and play.

Okay.

one egg how do you want it uh cooked oh yeah hey i'm here on vacation i'm going to disney world

i'm going to disney world i'm here at disney world we're having such a good time everyone

here is so nice in this country i love it i'll be drinking a little bit tonight too

how are you great yeah did you see the fireworks tonight oh wow man hey i like to make an order

Okay.

All right, I need one hashed brown.

Well, hold on.

Give me one second.

No, hold on.

To make an order, please.

What's your name?

My name is Mr. Black.

Did you need my first name?

No.

What's your phone number?

Well, it's Niger, like the country.

My number here.

Oh, jeez.

And whatever number you're calling off of.

Oh, I'm calling from the hotel, so I just got to look on the desk here.

it's uh 959 and then dash one is all that tells me i think it's just the beginning of it because

i'm at the hotel hotel next door yeah yeah so can i make an order please stupid yeah ignorant

okay i need one hash browns all right i need them smothered covered diced peppered double

double uh-huh cooked heated browned salted buttered oiled divided shaken smashed rotated

watered dropped floured hello hello did you get all that butter's not gonna be made until you get

here fuck you hey are you on black girl what are you a black girl no because it's all like you

sound like i really want to get a taste of that brown sugar if you know what i mean too bad please

Do you have nothing else better to do than call Waffle House at 3 o'clock in the morning?

Baz told me to do it.

Baz.

Mr. Snodswell.

There.

Mr. Dwight.

Yeah, can you hear us?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is Snodswell.

Can you fucking hear us?

What the fuck?

What's going on?

Hey, she's not on the line still, but I don't know if she wants to take the order now.

Because I was being...

Yeah, we need the food.

I was being silly.

No, this is a serious order, man.

He's got the diabetes.

You know, the diabetes machine.

sheen sugar's low can you throw in a few syrup packets also yeah i need to drink them let me

tell you let me tell you i'm gonna come in there baby what i want to do is uh i pulled down your

i pulled down your panties there and i put you on the flat top grill and we see if we can't

brown that ass up y'all really have no life all right bye man that's hateful bitch

bean bitch fucking beaner man there was a pretty bad echo i could hear myself echoing badly

athlete oh yeah i can hear you echoing back badly i don't hear it anymore though maybe your shit's

got a problem shit what are you guys doing up so late anyway i thought you'd be i thought you

were asleep both of you i'm a masterpiece come on 301 this is rihanna how many yeah is this the

black waffle house is this the black waffle house waffle house the black one okay good good uh do

any of you want to make an order then we got the right one hey is this this bitch got the grits

She's got grits there.

She's got the grit tits, you know what I'm saying?

Hey, can I get some chocolate milk from you, ma'am?

She called you ma'am.

Oh my god, Beth, that was gross.

There's always black waffle houses.

You're going to say there's always chocolate?

I always do that with the black people in the answer.

I ask them if I can get some chocolate rudders.

Is that where it comes from, Dwight?

You can call Susie.

I put it in the Skype chat.

These days, look at your Skype profile.

Pics.

Hey, bitch.

Bitch, bitch, I need to make an order.

Do what now?

I need to make, do what now?

Let me make an order.

I want to make an order.

I can't hear you.

I want to make an order, you negro.

Come on, don't hear you bullshit.

Oh, Dwight, that was terrible.

Negro.

I forgot to mute after I saw someone write pancake tits in IRC.

I don't know why that was funny.

Very funny.

I put Susie, Susie in the Skype chat.

She's a bitch.

Hey, Carlita.

Hey.

Thanks for having me, man.

Yeah, that's pretty cool.

You got to keep the faith, my brothers.

Waffle House, Bobby can help you.

Hey, is this the black Waffle House?

The what?

The black one, the black Waffle House?

We shouldn't just say that.

That's just rude off the bat.

That's a stupid idea.

Ask if the lighting is dark or something.

We have a skin problem.

I don't know.

I was driving by and I saw a dark-skinned individual coming out.

Waffle House, this is Bobby.

Can I help you?

May I make an order?

What can I get for you?

I guess that's a yes.

One eggs.

Hi, this is Mike speaking. How can I help you? Hey, how you doing boy? I'm doing fine. What can I do for you?

I'm making an order and I guess the woman doesn't know how to take it. You know women, right?

Okay, what can I get for you? One eggs

What is it? One eggs. Okay. How do you want the eggs? Cooked. Okay. I don't have time for games. We're busy right now

No, I'm trying to order one eggs

Shit

We losing Dwight. We lost Dwight. Oh no

Damn it

what i mean we want uh we want eggs damn it we have been the client pass

hey hello i'd like to place an order hey i'd like to place an order damn it

yeah damn it what's your name uh my name is niger like the country what can i get for you

um you have the steak and eggs how do you want your steak cooked uh with heat

medium rare medium medium well i like it the full way you know do what full insertion

The eggs, I need those.

Don't forget them.

How do you want your eggs cooked?

With heat.

How do you want them cooked?

With heat.

You use heat.

Over medium?

What do you mean?

I don't need any upgrades.

I just want eggs with heat.

No, I'm asking you how you want your eggs.

With oil, heat, maybe a little bit of salt.

With what?

A little bit of salt.

A little bit of oil.

Okay, I can barely hear you.

A little bit of salt and oil.

Salt and oil?

No.

No, how do you want your eggs cooked?

Do you want them cooked over light, over medium, over well, or scrambled?

Uh, full.

Huh?

Full?

Scrambled.

Scrambled?

Scrambled.

Yeah, scrambled.

Okay, and then does that come with hash browns, or is that on the side?

Oh.

You can get hash browns with them.

Yes, yeah.

I need one hash browns.

I need them doubled.

A double hash brown?

Smothered, covered, chopped, peppered, diced, marinated, lubricated.

heated. Okay, seriously, is this

a real fucking to-go order? Yes.

No, I don't think this is. Yes, and

then I want to look at your... Should I order something, too?

Yeah, Baz is going to order something.

Yeah. I'm sorry, what? Did you order the

hash browns? I don't

think this is a real to-go order. I'd like

to order some hash blacks.

No, no, no, you're mistaken.

That's hash niggers.

That's what it's called, hash niggers. I was going to order

the hash stacks. Oh, I just wanted it fried

a little darker.

want to burn i don't mean anything racist by the head

i know dwight already set up his cross in the backyard so i must really hate black not yet

i need gasoline for my cross i need gasoline so i can burn my cross you want to come over

oh my god you walked right into that you recovered well you recovered well

okay all right yeah let's move on let's call dude what the hell was up with the like no sound that

was crazy yeah hell yeah yeah it was crazy for the right guys that's crazy like for like a couple

minutes and then i saw bad this thing like do we need more numbers i'm just like i'm not gonna last

much longer i'm just warning you i took my sleep i did thanks for setting that shit up man

Hey, how are you?

We'd like to make an order.

Go ahead, one of you guys.

Yeah, we would like to make the order.

I'm going to let my wife go first.

Yeah, I like to go first.

Do you guys have milkshakes?

No, we don't.

We don't have any ice cream whatsoever.

Oh, man.

Let's see.

Do you have...

Yeah, man, I really wanted that.

Do you guys have macaroni and cheese?

Shit.

No, we don't.

Oh, my God.

Do you guys have collard greens?

We have nothing fried.

You don't fry?

What do you have?

Yeah.

How do you make your eggs, motherfucker?

On the grill.

Yeah.

Fry them.

Egg pan.

With oil?

That's fried.

Do you use heat?

Yeah, you fry it on the grill, you dumb-dumb.

Excuse me?

Are you Jose's girlfriend?

You're being a little bit of a dumb-dumb, Adam.

Yeah.

Do you guys want us to go order?

Yeah.

No, no, I know this place.

This lady, she goes back to cook the eggs,

and she sprays her pussy juice all over the grill,

and then she fries the eggs.

dwight oh gross i

I hate, I can't handle the way you say pussy.

Pussy, ew, right?

Isn't that great?

It makes my dick tremble.

Ew.

It's like an uncle, you know.

I just, Dwight is not a person.

It's like catching your uncle ogling at you.

Awful House, St. Pete Beach.

I'm going to make an order, please.

Are you going to do a to-go order?

I'm going to pick up order, yes.

Okay.

All right.

So, like, one steak and egg.

What would you like?

One steak and eggs.

I like the steak medium well.

The egg scramble.

What else comes with that shit?

And what else?

What else comes with it?

You get hash browns and toast.

All right, the hash browns.

I like to have them covered, smothered, diced, potatoed, onioned, peppered, salted, julienned, diced, fabricated, refined.

Okay, are you guys going to make a go order or not?

Because I'm not going to sit here and keep doing a prank phone call, y'all.

I'm gonna make a go order in your pan over there on your grill go right on. I'm gonna go all I gotta go

All right, and I make the order. Okay, you guys can stop calling. Okay?

You get some fried pussy you have a real order, okay, I'm sorry we have a real order

Right no more pussy it's the hang-up every time

That's one thing to be like, okay. Hey, hey, do you have a pussy or a pussy?

Hey boy. Hello. Hey, I'd like to make an order. Uh, I'm not going to. Yeah. You're not going to allow it because you're a racist, huh, motherfucker? Hey, man. Come on, man. Excuse me, sir. Did you do drugs this evening? I can't understand a damn word you're saying. He did do drugs. He's he's black. He's got jungle feet.

or he's got the feet for hey dwight you never asked me yesterday he's got the feet he's got

the feet dwight do you really say footage or footage you you literally take like everything

i say like that's what i say in real life when i'm doing prank calls i'm just wondering man do

you really say it like that or is that city you're just talking dude that's the dwight character no

if i was gonna say for real in real life i said yeah i got the the video surveillance but i'm

I'm sitting there fucking with people.

So, that answers no?

Yeah, yes, no.

So, is it Dwight or Ken that uses baloney coupons?

Um, no, no, that's Baz.

Oh, okay.

Hmm, yeah.

I got a guy at a hotel.

He answered earlier.

A box or something.

You fucking...

Sorry, Dwight, I didn't mean to jump on that.

No, no, if I was being in video surveillance, I wouldn't be...

Yeah, that's a phone, Jesus.

I didn't mean...

I didn't want to, like, insult you or anything.

That's what I'm trying to say.

Can I have you?

Yeah, hey man, how you doing, man?

I'm fine.

Yeah, man, I want to make an order, man.

A pickup order?

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Let the server take it to you.

Okay, man.

Mmm.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Hello?

Hey, man, I want to make an order.

What's up, girl?

Hello?

Hey, I want to make an order, girl.

What's up?

A water?

Oh, yeah, man.

Yeah.

Is that all that you...

One pickup order.

Yeah, I want to make a pickup order, man.

Oh, okay.

What would you like?

My name's Lysol.

Lysol.

A what?

Lysol.

My name is Lysol.

A Lysol?

That's my name.

They call me Lysol, man.

They call you hot sauce?

Lysol, man.

That's my name, man.

I'm going to just put hot sauce because I don't know what you're trying to say.

Okay.

But what would you like, sir?

All right.

Well, I need one pound of his.

Hey, hey, man.

What would you like?

One egg, egg, man.

Give me that steak and shit, man.

Larry, I don't know.

Do you speak Creole?

Yeah.

yes hello hey

what do you need i need to make an order man we need to make another yeah man what do you need

oh i need one baby and one egg and cheese man bacon egg and cheese yeah man and i want you to

put some like oh okay i can't hear you don't put some more oh oh on it man i'm just saying that's

what they sound like to me those kind of people sound like that to me damn it i was just looking

up uh creole swear words well that's what i said stop i'll say to say hi i know like a little bit

but he didn't go you can say anything in french too and it'd be pretty bad yeah yeah the creole

people are really bad drivers but really cool people i've learned i know i know a lot of them

and with my florida days and i hope to be honest i hope i return to florida one day permanently oh

Oh, here's one. Kokosanti.

Kokosanti.

It's a smelly pussy.

Kokosanti, I get it.

Did you see the numbers I put in the Skype chat there, Mr. Carlito?

I see them, Dwight.

I know, I know. Fuck.

Kokosanti.

That sounds like sacrilegious, Baz.

You know, the koko they're saying, it's the pussy, and senti is probably French for, like, stinky.

It's just funnier than that. Kokosanti.

Carlito should call a little Susie.

she's the one that got pissed on facebook where are these numbers you keep talking about

oh we're in a skype chat with us with us not private not not privates with us oh yeah private

i'm gonna save your private messages private parts you see some of these private messages

the last uh four one two uh three zero she she said i'm just gonna call you

lysol because i can't figure out what you're saying okay she said she's gonna call you hot

Oh, that's not even, yeah, hot sauce, hot sauce.

I'm going to put hot sauce because I can't understand you.

Well, come on, that isn't far away from what you've heard some people

in some places of this country talk like.

And they get by, right?

They do their taxes.

They get their tax returns every year.

You know, they go to vote sometimes, I'm sure, right?

What is up, hot sauce?

Yeah, yeah.

You should call back and say, yo, this is hot sauce.

They have to pay their water bill.

Someone's paying a water bill.

someone has to have it's not like they're not showering yeah man what's up hot sauce

that was awesome dude that was a freaking classic so we were saying that in the chat room

yeah the uh ambient is starting to take hold of me i am starting to i like that character though

you know that's like lysol uh an upgraded version of lysol that's she thought it was

a cage or creole yeah that was nice up here all right so while you say shannon here has a cell

it's all jacked up in the ass i don't know when it stopped working but hasn't been for a couple

days at least here's my new number all right cool let's call let her know we're gonna fix that

motherfucker right guys yeah yeah i'm gonna fix it good fix that phone dude i'm really kind of

messed up right now let's do it hey it's jason uh sorry i'm gonna use the phone i'll call you

if i can hey uh go go just above that carlito to suzy okay she's the one that sent that message

on facebook to get all upset when we called her oh i didn't read it to it i'm sorry oh well she

was upset she's like oh these fucking assholes called my work phone and what did they do all

this shit i remember this lightly what was going on here now yeah uh well what she said was let's

Let's see here.

Santa Dashie.

I can read you off there.

Was I involved with this?

Well, no.

What she said was, this is her post after we called her.

Some dumbass called my work cell number and said some really nasty things, and they got

my number from a friend of mine.

I said it was a friend of hers.

She goes, oh, my goodness.

Long damn thing to do, and she put the Skype number.

The default number.

This is the fool's number.

they called me from now the game can begin the skype number again i don't play games that way

and disrespect me i don't damn well think so and then uh suzy says well chicken shit from callie

had to use a skype number you piece of shit oh god oh yeah the todd todd says suzy don't let

those scumbags get under your skin and then she says oh my goodness the awful things they said i

I was ready to become that pearl girl and be really ugly,

but had the call traced instead before I lost my cool.

Ha ha.

And then we all know on Sloth's show, Sloth called the kid.

And Todd says, good for you.

Since it was Skype, there was no way to find out who it was.

Nope.

Finish it out, Dwight.

What did he say?

No, that's what he said.

He said, well, that stinks.

Well, that stinks.

God damn it.

Sorry.

sorry but the person you probably got put muted on mailbox jobs trying suzy there dwight all right

please be advised she's a bitch what a show for me huh i was like i had wanted to do it and i said

fuck that and then i watched the movie and i came back i was like sorry but the person you called

has a voice mailbox come on homes we gotta do a show come on let's do a show again man i was like

all right all right let's do it but is brad around and you're like yeah you mean you and brad like

So I said, yeah, let's do it, man.

I said, yeah, you, Brad, start it up and I'll join.

And you're like, no.

I'm like, no, I'm shy.

Uh-huh.

All right.

I'm going to take GI's spot tomorrow and probably try to call JDF down in New Orleans.

I would love to be on on a Friday night.

Oh, shit.

Fridays are bomb, dude.

You got to get on.

Yeah, well, I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it.

GI's going to be out for another two weeks.

I'm gonna gather some numbers

do a lot of pranks

well no we're gonna try to call JDF

and tell him he's a fucking hero to millions

again it's a new year

new hero well it's just like

old Gary you know we called him up and

happy new year you son

of a bitch and he fucking hung up on me

I know I was on that comment

that's the fucking voice that's the voice right there

at least he was uh at least

what'd he say uh at least I was polite

this time I'm like really so calling you

a son of a bitch is being polite

white i guess some people like it rough man yeah tell you tell you about that like riding it rough

some people like yeah like rough and ready man really like it they love riding rough

yeah gotta die rough i guess a little exciting some gunplay in bed razor blood

razor blade choking auto asphyxiation

It sucks to get in close to the event horizon man you know totally that's no joke it's a

no joke maneuver away that's what I say Susie Dorsey good night Susie Dorsey good night

beautiful lady there you go so you guys had anything that you know what we got to get

good at is like when I'm doing a show I should be like making sure that I say at least once

or twice in a show to say hey Neon do you have anything you like to plug in Neon you

you would have something you'd like to plug like your Mixer channel

that you're starting to do shows on.

Yeah, I did a show on Monday.

Thanks for reminding me.

I did a show on Monday, and it was fun.

So it's Mixer.com slash NeonLikeBjork.

Couldn't find an easier one than that.

There you go.

Wait a minute.

Ask me if there's something I'd like to plug.

No, Dwight.

We're not done with me.

Okay.

Has Dashie added it to his – is there a show?

I don't think so.

i have to hit him up we gotta yeah you gotta hit him up see hey unless he doesn't want to i don't

know i don't want to start shit no no no man i think he's cool seriously he's gonna he's gonna

leave dwight and come to me and get you on to because your first show that i heard was better

than my audio quality was you know better is there there's some myths and there's some little

bumps in there i gotta figure out it's the first show but as an author you haven't done your first

show you started off really like uh and after the first call i kind of did a little good you're

like oh fuck this i got it you got that kind of feel off yeah cool yeah i was like i even like

forgot to mute myself and one of the times i'm like i'm so nervous so that's gotta get in there

man as neon she's doing test shows now on her mixer channel yeah and she is on the short list

of people

to possibly join PCN.

Oh, that would rock, dude.

For real.

What are we, PCR?

What are we?

PCN.

I got something I want to plug.

Okay, I was getting to you, Dwight.

Go ahead.

You got to wait your turn, Dwight.

I want to plug some pussy.

Pussy.

Is that all you got?

That's the ultimate goal, pussy.

Dwight Pussy Show.

okay cool yeah do you have do you have a way for people to get to your uh to your facebook page

you care about that i don't even know how to get to my facebook page no oh my god aren't you making

facebook posts no i have to do that it's hella loud or what sorry that music was hella loud i'm

sorry okay all right thank you neon sorry dwight go ahead dwight now repeat what you said last

no i don't know i think i think you just go to facebook and search for dwight mcleanahan

and that'll find it yeah that's about it what was the last time that you created one on youtube

no i'm i'm actually uh i'm in the middle of like editing about three fucking shows to put on

youtube okay but uh i i and probably almost a fourth because the last show we did um

nia knows that lady that fucking crazy lady said she was gonna do us tennessee style

Kyle. Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

She says she...

Yeah, we're like, what the fuck is

Tennessee style? She's like, I'm gonna fucking shoot you

with a shotgun. Listen, what I'm trying to say

is that I'm getting ready to start

releasing... Well, yeah, it was

the first call of the night, and, like, they started

threatening to fucking kill us. I'm like, that's how

you start a show right there.

Come on, you're milkmanning me, Dwight.

What I'm trying to say is... Wait, Carlito,

are you talking? I'm sorry. I can't hear you.

Yeah, you're all milkmanning me. All of you.

what i'm trying to say is that i'm trying to um and i forgot now thanks for ruining it no you're

cool seriously go for it i forgot it are you talking about the network no not network something

else i was thinking about it and you fucked it up all of you oh shit what were we talking about

we were talking about dwight getting his facebook on his channel and stuff yeah the last thing i did

it on youtube that's what you're saying oh yeah i'm gonna start um releasing my shows edited shows

on youtube again and i'm going to start i'm gonna i'm private all the existing videos and the live

feeds and start those up again so you can see me live on youtube live and after the show's done

yeah with there will be no music but that's the copyright thing so because it doesn't kick me out

But I'm going back on there pretty soon. Very cool, dude. That's awesome

Cool

And I started looking at the numbers we started looking at the numbers, yeah

Of downloads at the madhouse episodes get that's over like 2,000 each some of them

It's great some of them only do 1,000 because they get uploaded along with like two or three other at the time

and usually

I think only two or three at the time.

Some people only get one of them.

I didn't even notice that music

was playing that loud. Shall we do some calls

gentlemen and ladies? Sure.

Hey, can you call South Korea?

Yes, I can if you have a number for me

buddy. Yeah, I post one.

I don't know what it is, but

it's called Mr. Toilet House.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Mr. Toilet House.

but i hope they get to shit on you and piss on you yeah i would love that yeah young barely legal

korean girls pissing and shitting on you in the toilet house yeah i'd like to make some booking

like maybe they have clear walls you can see them watch them shitting from the other room

it's a clear toilet that'd be awesome hopefully they have some glory holes too clear toilets you

could see everything yeah oh yeah they had that in japan no way in those yeah yeah yeah there's

a story there was a podcast episode i heard of a person telling a story and part of it was that

she went to uh japan for a while and ended up in one of those sex hotels you know like sex

getaway hotels yeah oh yeah they call them love hotels yeah love hotels yeah uh with a boyfriend

friend and like the the toilet was see-through so you could see everything like everything

you see those hotels all over the place and right off the highways in japan yeah well in this one

she said that uh every time you walked into the uh bathroom or in and out of the bathroom

it would go like that like i had a sensor that made it like just gave this like

orgasmic-sounding

girl sound.

The Japanese girls have that high-pitched voice.

Yeah.

So what are we doing? Who are we calling?

The South Korean Toilet.

Skype chat.

At the bottom, Mr. Toilet House.

Mr. Toilet House.

With us, Dwight.

I think it's some kind of toilet

museum. That'd be something, right?

Yeah. It's like a

toilet theme park. Toilet machine.

say something carlito i said that'd be nice why what what did i say i don't know sorry i didn't

talk anything ma'am i'm sorry please don't hurt me again my turn out to you sounds like a they

dropped the phone in the toilet straight up hello is this mr toilet machine oh korean don't be

scared i'm american i am friend yes we're friendly american i support your country that part

that part of the country they're two separate countries okay that part of the country where

the place is at no they're two different countries north korea is best korea

the name of allah the beneficent the merciful to whom all praise is due whom we forever thank

for giving us the honorable elijah muhammad is our leader teacher and guide and i specifically

typically uh ladies and gentlemen and brothers and sisters uh open up like that because i am a

representative of the honorable elijah muhammad and were it not for him you and i wouldn't be

here today in order for you and me to develop methods or strategies to offset sorry a repetition

of the events that have taken angelus recently we have to go have to go to the cause dealing

Dealing with the condition itself, we have to get to the cause of it all, or the root of it all.

And it is because of our effort toward getting straight to the root that people oftentimes think we're dealing in hate.

But first, I would like to congratulate and give praise to the Negro, so-called Negro leaders, and so-called Negro organizations.

Common sense.

It's hard for me to just outright say Negro

when I know what that word Negro really means.

A person whom you have come to know as Ronald Stokes,

we know him as Brother Ron.

Everybody, everybody.

One of the most religious.

Nobody did anything for a show, is that what you said?

I didn't do anything.

He displayed the highest form of morals

of any black person anywhere on this earth.

And as one of the previous speakers pointed out who knew him,

Late night shows are cool, dude.

Had to give him credit for being a good man.

Funny calls.

Yeah, Baz made tons of funnies.

Yeah, Baz.

When he was first.

Baz.

The Negro organizations and leaders should be given great credit for their failure or refusal to let the white man divide them and use them one against the other during this crisis.

As Reverend pointed out. I think it was eight years ago today that the down the desegregation decision and despite the fact that

Implemented yet. I don't have that much faith. I don't have that much

I don't have that much patience and I don't have that much

Things go on if the supreme is making body in

I'd like to make an order, boy.

Hello?

I can't really hear.

I'd like to make an order, my boy.

You'd like to make an order?

Yes, sir.

Okay.

What's your status?

Can I give it or what?

Hello?

Can I give you my order or what?

Damn it.

That's what I said.

Shit sucks.

What did he say?

That's what I said?

Whatever.

Because I'm patient.

He sucks to shit.

51?

Yes, making an order?

Yeah, bro.

Bruh, you got to know how you talk to people.

Don't be talking to me like that while I'm not taking your shit.

All right, hang on.

My name's Lysol first.

What's up?

Yeah, what's up, man?

What do you get?

Yeah, tell me if you know what's up.

Yeah, tell me if you know what's up, homie.

Holler.

Holler if you think you know what's up.

Call out a player.

What are you talking about, bro?

I need to make an order, my dude.

Cuz up.

All right, then.

What do you want to eat, bro?

I need to order one of the eggs and shit.

One egg?

Yeah.

How do you want the egg?

Cooked.

Huh?

cooked how

do you want how you want me to cook the egg with heat huh with heat heat heat you know heat you

dumb nigga heat we have scrambled eggs sunny side up over medium over light no i don't need

none of that yo i don't need none of that how do you want the egg cooked with heat and

oil heat a little bit salt and pepper and wheels mix all that up on that grill

i think it's ignorant as i can there's some eggs and okay so my eggs some eggs and

shit.

Carlito.

J-Boy says eggs house negro

style.

Delicious. Is this the same place?

Yes. I think he's had about

enough. Seems like.

They can't get

even 8% compliance

within 8 years

because it's for black people

and my patience has run out.

Talk to them before

and see if they pick up.

They're hit or miss on the pick and they get mad.

The times I talk to them, they are mean.

They say that's emotional.

They don't deal with shit, you know what I'm saying?

How's your body?

That was like call the police.

Not only of their civil rights, but their human rights.

Become impatient, become fed up.

Don't want to wait anymore.

Then they say they're emotional.

How's your body?

Hi, sir.

Hello, yes, I'd like to come to the museum. I'm a tourist.

Yes.

Yes, are you open today?

Yeah, open today.

You are? Great.

I'm going to come with my partners, my husband and my wife.

Yeah, please come.

And the three of us, we're going to come, and we would like to make a booking, reservations for three toilets.

Sorry?

Yeah, we'd like to book booking, you know, three toilets for three hours.

Coming to see the museum toilet?

Yeah, yeah, I'm going to come to use the toilets.

yeah please come you are welcome and come and see my yeah can i take a big shit in your toilet

yeah can i rub my vagina all over your toilet hello hi yeah hello how are you bhenchod sorry

yeah you bhenchod mother to hello hello hello hi can i rub my vagina all over your toilets

talk to me like that you gone dude stupid dirt

Your wife is not clear.

So please call me after some time.

You have a dirt museum.

You have a dirty dick.

It's not a toilet museum.

It's a dirt museum.

Hello.

Why don't you guys have a sandal museum?

Sorry?

Or a computer call center museum.

I'd rather go to a sandal museum.

Your wife is not clear.

My wife is not clear.

My wife.

Your wife is not clear.

Your wife.

It's the 420.

she's got the medical card you know i'm a sick woman you know the card you can blaze it you want

me to bring some over you know the ganja we can we can duck down behind the toilet and fire up one

what do you say hello are you still there and then i'll let you duck it in my ass hello hello

kush come from india no i'm gonna hang up yeah we should probably hang up toilets everybody

about the toilet that was fun he didn't get too mad this time i talked to a lady that was really

bad hello yes i was calling about what you go ahead what you're showing there oh hi yes i'm

interested in coming in i'd like to know about a little bit more information about the type of

displays you have there hello is this the toilet museum hello toilet it is a medium toilet mr

Mr. Toilet!

Yeah, he's a medium toilet.

Mr. Toilet, man!

Do you take a shit in the toilet?

Yeah, of course. You can come. You're welcome.

You're welcome!

Do you have eastern, uh, latrine?

Oh, ho. I'm calling this number.

I'm calling this number. Okay?

He's calling the number.

Our number?

Yeah, because I'm calling this number.

I'm calling this number.

There you go.

oh hey this was all a big joke i'm sorry hello hello yeah yes don't be angry are you angry with

me sorry are you angry what are you here how can i help you are you in a hurry you're stupid

you're a stupid are you in a hurry hello hello hello yeah ma'am are you in a hurry how can i

help you no no ma'am no ma'am please tell me are you in a hurry with your curry no no no please

tell me please tell me yeah please please please please tell me now tell you what do you want us to

tell you stupid yeah yeah please hold on a minute is your last name patel

can we leave a message for patel sir are you spanking it are you an orphan

Finn, do you have a lady cock or it says his name is blah, blah, blah.

Sing.

Yeah.

Hello.

I was just, I felt sick.

I was vomiting.

Hello.

Yeah.

I'm vomiting.

Can we borrow one of your toilets?

Hello.

Can we borrow a toilet?

The vomit?

Hello, sir.

What's the problem?

Hello.

Yeah.

How are you?

I hope you're well.

He said two words.

Hello.

And yeah.

yeah hello hello hello i am talking in my phone oh my god now what time i went i went

hello hey how can i help you yeah how are you doing how are you doing

how are you doing man fine fine fine fine yeah how can i help you sir what kind of

who can it be you have there shut up yeah you can come anytime sir it is open uh all 60 and 65 day

10 to 6. how many latrines you got how many yeah hello how many many uh it is open 365 days

how many how many latrines how many toilets how many toilets you can you can come and see that

sir i cannot explain to write that in right there but you can come and see that can i urinate and

Yeah, yeah, you can come

any day, sir. It's most welcome in our campus.

Can I kick them and break

them with my hands and feet?

No, sir, you cannot do that.

And then slap you?

Then I want to slap you and I'll pull your

pants down and look at your

small penis.

And then my

girlfriend here will touch it.

Can you fuck on the toilet?

She's going to touch it.

Toilet fucks.

oops he's gonna make fuck on the toilet yep sounds so gross this is the one baz made

baz was you peeing and farting gross no i was using the toilet simulator

stupid free game somebody made when they're really fried

he's picking up and that's it what's funny when i first played that once and you were

We're talking neon.

It sounded like it was you doing it.

I lost my shit.

Yeah.

Hello.

How much is to see toilet?

We're in a hurry for a toilet.

Hello.

How much is it?

Hello.

How much?

How many real?

It is free of cost, sir.

You don't need to pay for anything.

It is free of cost.

You can come and see it, sir.

Can I bring beverage?

Yes, sir.

Can I bring beverage?

No, sir.

It is not allowed in our campus.

You cannot bring just beverage to our campus.

You can come and see it, sir.

You can come anytime without any beverages.

Can I use the toilet?

Yes, yes, you can use the toilet.

You can use the toilet anytime you want.

And you can come anytime, sir.

We are here to help you, sir.

Sir, we are here to help you.

You can come anytime.

Do I use the dipper to clean back there with my left hand?

Oh, yeah, come.

Yes, sir.

I'm not able to understand, sir, what are you trying to say?

You know, like when you use Eastern Latrine, you don't have a bowl to sit on.

You squat over the hole, and then you wash back there with your hand, with a dipper, with water.

Sir, kindly, kindly, can I have your name, sir, please?

Okay, yeah, my name is Kakuz.

Yes, sir.

Kakus, yeah.

Sir, kindly, can I have your name specifically, sir?

Because I'm not getting your name, sir.

Kakus.

Yes, sir.

From where, sir?

Hey.

From the village you came from.

Do you want my name, too?

From here.

From Ramna Province.

Hello.

I'm from Ramna Province.

Hello.

My name's Papus.

I'm Papus.

I'm from Makulu.

Nice.

That was crazy.

It sounds like a gun.

yeah hi hello yes hi how are you yeah please don't have a number hello yeah what what

transportation what transportation can i take to get down there is there a train

from here from over here from the hotel do i take a train a taxi what do i take

do i take a donkey ass hello yeah do i take a donkey ass hello

Hello.

A jackass.

A black ass.

An Australian jackass.

Hello.

Do you guys have any abo juice there?

Abo.

Oh, I got an elephant.

Can we ride an elephant there?

No elephants, guys.

Oh.

You got to make sure you provide for Baz.

That's us.

Of course.

Baz is important.

You got to take care of Baz.

He's a smart one on here.

Fuck yeah.

Speaking of which, I'm done.

Me too.

Bye.

Thank you for the show.

Bye.

Thank you.

Bye, guys.

That was fun.

I don't understand.

Negro, so-called Negro leaders and organizations should all nation.

Madhouse Radio – 1/9/15 Show

Calls (14, 47 min of 1 h 18 min)

Transcript

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