I’m Pissing Right Now

Sir, I have your address. It's 128 Horse Machine Ranch Road.

Go away.

Um, I'm gonna go ahead and hang up. Thanks.

Yes, you too, motherfucker.

I'm not playing no fucking games, dude.

I, I fuck you, son of a bitch.

Stop making us get the coins.

You're out of your crazy mind.

You ain't getting no goddamn dollars.

I'll fuck you all my life long.

You're my perfect.

Why don't you piss off?

You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast.

Especially on the West Coast where it's early.

it's carlito i'm live on march the something what is it the fifth today

i'm gonna turn the music down march 5th today of 2015 and i is a live cat yeah um i don't really

have a plan other than just making some calls you know so let's get right to it then a still

snowing outside it's been snowing since last night there's a lot of snow man it's bad it's bad it

It looks pretty coming down.

I'm going to stay inside the house.

I ain't going out for shit.

All right, we got someone who's selling a carbine 9mm.

Carbine 995.

Let me look up a carbine 995.

Let me just look up facts about it.

Let's see what Vicky has to say about it.

Vicky.

Vicky does not have a page specifically for the 995,

but does for the high point carbine, which it is a family member of.

these are a serious carbines chambered to the 9 by 19 millimeter parabolum parabolum whatever that

means nerding out on gun technology comes with a 10 round magazine that feeds and fits into the

pistol grip it's got like a pistol grip on it hey yeah look at that it's weird it's it's like a

pistol and it's got a long end for the i guess you would say the rifle itself in the front and

And then the long end for the actual butt rest of it, the butt of the rifle.

But if you look at just the middle of it, it just looks like a big, heavy pistol.

I never knew that about it, because I'm not into guns.

I'm a liberal.

I wouldn't say necessarily a Democrat anymore, but I do have liberal views.

I'm not a bleeding left-side liberal.

Complete on the left.

I'm more closer to progressive than far left-wing, for sure.

I am a progressive liberal.

a progressive democrat i guess would be the optimum description for me okay i'm sure you

guys figured that out by now especially around election time uh-huh uh-huh hey prank calls

it's a daytime show do what i want to be honest i'll probably just chop off this show i want to

what i want to try to do for this episode i'm not gonna it's not gonna be an episode per se i want

to do like brad does sometimes where he does some pranks over a few days chops up the best ones and

does intro i think that'd be kind of cool kind of like what dialer was working around but i don't

think he got that going and dialer did i'm doing a show now but dialer did say he's i think he's

going back to his old format of broadcasting on pcn which he said trades off um gains stability

and ability to stay connected on the air um much easier but the quality is worse i said don't worry

about the quality man it's just phone calls well i didn't say that to him but i will say that to

him i didn't get to reply to him about that okay blah blah blah carbone i should get my pissing

ready hello hello yeah you got a carbine for sale all right what can you tell me about it you shoot

it before yeah i've actually yesterday i shot maybe 25 rounds to it i just i got it maybe three

days ago and i'm always trading so it was very new when i got it yeah i'm pissing right now yeah

I'm pissing right now, though.

You're what?

I'm taking a piss right now.

Okay.

Yeah.

I don't know, like, do you want to come here and show it to me, the carbine?

Well, I'm at work right now, buddy, and where are you located at?

Well, I'm in Knoxville.

I ain't driving all the way to Knoxville.

I ain't no way.

Where the fuck are you, motherfucker?

Buddy, I suggest you not call me and talk like that.

Oh, this is the way I talk to my friends.

I'm sorry.

I thought you were a pal.

I don't know you, so therefore I ain't no kind of pal that you know.

So don't cuss me, and I don't give a shit if you taking a pee.

Don't cuss me, motherfucker.

You cuss me, you say shit.

Look here, you really made a mistake calling this number doing that.

No, I didn't make shit, motherfucker.

You just need to kind of pipe yourself down.

I didn't say shit.

I didn't do shit, motherfucker.

You made a mistake talking to me like...

I'm from Tennessee, and I work for the state of Tennessee.

the state of tennessee come on down that means you're a pussy anybody fucking scared of you

all it means is you're a pussy fucking scared of you you want to talk shit you want to act like a

little faggot and tell a man that you're taking a piss by all means go ahead but you fucking i

mean you just made a mistake calling this number i'm not the one to fuck with and i'm not the one

to fucking be your pal and you cut fuck you no fuck you no you first i said fuck you do you

first so you fuck first you get fucked but you don't know me well you don't know me i already

said fuck first i am the worst motherfucker to fuck with on a bad day oh boohoo i had to work

i had to work it for the state as a secretary and i had a bad day i'm not a secretary i'm

actually out working so dumb asses like you don't rent what are you doing yeah you picking up road

kill no buddy i'm on the fucking road you goddamn son of a bitch i'm gonna keep this dude i mean

Did you wake up this morning and say, I'm going to call this boy and start shit with him?

Yeah, pretty much.

Or are you trying to show off for your fucking girlfriend or somebody?

Yeah, pretty much all of that.

Pretty much all that?

Yeah, motherfucker.

Well, you got a dumbass girlfriend if she's going to fuck with you.

Where do you want to meet?

I'll meet you at Walmart, motherfucker.

Walmart?

Walmart where?

There's millions of fucking Walmarts on the ass.

Motherfucker.

Well, right now I'm on the upper end of a W, so when I go to the South Side Road, I'll be glad to.

Yeah, come here to f*** me and I'll whoop your ass.

Oh, well, buddy, that's by all means.

When are you going to be here, motherfucker?

I don't know who the fuck you think you are.

I don't understand that.

Shut up, motherfucker.

I'm going to fuck this shit up, motherfucker.

Yeah, I guarantee you will.

Yeah.

I mean, you have to be a dumbass.

Want to call and buy a gun off a boy and then cuss him.

Shut up.

Come on, motherfucker.

I'm waiting for you right now, motherfucker.

I got my fists up.

You getting mad?

I'm ready to do some punching.

You fucking dickhead ready to do some punching and kicking motherfucker. Are you getting mad?

God you're a fucking idiot. Are you retarded? Are you even eligible to hold a gun, huh?

I didn't fucking think so lose my fucking number you son of a bitch. I

Got so angry. I started vomiting guys. Awesome. Holy shit. That were some funny shit

I started losing it a little bit there

I was like, I don't know what the caller ID is set to.

Just in case.

Hang on, hang on.

We good.

I need something else.

I don't even know how long I've been using this.

Let's go to Hawaii with that shit.

The guy that posted the donkey last night.

Well, yeah, last night.

Me and Brad did a show last night.

About an hour show.

I think about an hour, hour and a half.

It was fun.

Let me get this echo off of me.

We did a show for like an hour, hour and a half.

And I know there was a donkey for sale.

looks like the guy reposted it again brad uh was telling him he wanted to eat him it's just like

the night before we had the same thing going on on i think it was dwight show i wanted to eat

no it was a horse on dwight show for a school for and i came in i'm like yeah it's a cat french

french uh canadian catholic school you know and the french eat horse that's where we got it from

you guys you can't feed you can't feed horse children do that shit anyway the donkey guy

last night hung up after i called him out on like he didn't care about it hello yes hi i was calling

interested about a donkey i see you listed on swap shop uh yes sir okay all right how you said

you're asking 125 or you'll trade for a sheep yeah any particular type of sheep you're looking

for no i just run them just eat property off pretty much so it really doesn't matter all right

well i'd rather just buy it to be honest uh 125 son it's a nice healthy donkey yes sir all right

All right. Is it male or female? Is it male?

It's male.

All right.

It's actually my dad. It's actually my dad. He does the farming.

I just told him I would put it on there for him.

Okay. How big are the donkey's sexual organs?

I have no idea. It's his donkey. I don't have any clue.

Can you ask him for me?

Yeah, I'd have to. He don't live here. He lives on the farm over there.

I'd have to call him and go out there and look.

Oh, does he live at Horse Machine Ranch?

ranch no i got a farm here in uh in kingsport oh i got a i got a new ranch i got here at horse

machine ranch got 25 acres they're giving they're making new brand new ranches at this place called

horse machine ranch 25 acres per unit in the low 800s yeah like i don't really know much about the

donkey i know he's selling it but i have no clue i said i don't feel whether my full sheet goes

and stuff but i don't but i want to i want to masturbate the donkey and suck its dick and all

that so i'm just curious you know how big the dick gets quick hang up stupid it's like nope

nope nope i'll call him back i doubt he'll pick up and we're gonna do my favorites here now

in a moment where i just start calling businesses and fucking with them in the morning yeah

Please leave your message for

Okay, some donkey business going here

I'll call a bank

There's a Broadway Academy of the Arts

Performing Arts event center

Let's see if anyone answers there now

Let's see if they have anyone answering even when there's no event

A box office

That's what it's called

A box office

And I hope you guys are having a great day today

And I hope you're all getting to listen to the show

Like Gilmore, he forgot his headphones

And he's at school, he can't hear

Sorry.

Broadway Academy.

Hey, Sexy, how you doing?

Pardon?

Hi, Sexy, how are you?

Who is this?

Oh, my name is Bill.

Okay, hi, Bill.

Hey, I was trying to get information on your beautiful dance studio.

Uh-huh.

How often is that leased out, like, for events during the week, let's say?

During the week, it has dance classes in there.

Oh, yeah.

On the weekends, it's busy.

Does it have spectator area for the dance rehearsals?

No, not really.

Really, they can sit around the large studios if they want to for the, you know,

if they're coming in to see the jazz or what, you know, the hip-hop or whatever.

But you're not allowed to come in there unless you have your parent or you're affiliated with one.

I like to come in wearing, like, sweatpants, you know, and nothing, no underwear on.

Oh, God, you're a sicko.

No, because I can just touch around a little bit, and I get the feeling.

all right back to the map i don't want to call her again dixie kitchen distributors

soap a dad soaping their website i just see cabinets for sale that's all i got all right

let's do it straight rider hey how you doing motherfucker what's going on what's going on

with you uh yeah listen i want to get some of that granite shit who the hell are you talking to

oh i'm talking i'm talking to you buddy i didn't mean to say motherfucker that's what ruined it

i know if milkman was here he'd be saying oh man you can't do that man you can't talk you can't

curse at the beginning milkman's trying to work with me on that that i was gonna say boy for some

reason i said motherfucker look you heard me i i know you could kind of hear in the beginning

when motherfucker it's because of the time i'm not early i'm usually sleeping to be honest i

I usually sleep until, like, for another two hours.

Yesterday, I slept until 2 p.m.

2.20-something p.m., yeah.

Last night, I was like, I'm in this really bad sleeping cycle.

I was like, you know what, motherfucker?

I'm going to take whatever I can.

I drank sleepy time tea with chamomile and valerian root.

And I took a melatonin pill.

I took a Lunesta pill.

And I took one of my pain meds because, actually, my ankle was killing me.

And it's killing me now.

because of the weather it's really cold anyway but that knocked me out by 10 30 i think i was

here i was listening to neon show just nodding off and at one point something played really loud

on it and it woke me up and i crawled into bed um but not without eating a sandwich i actually

and that's the scary thing with like the sleeping pills like prescription ones you can do some weird

shit i made a sandwich last night i used like four pieces of meat and five pieces of cheese

I don't know why I like I don't like sandwiches like that I made a big ass sandwich of crumbs all

over the kitchen all over the counter and shit I hardly remember and I had a big ass glass of milk

and then I just like went into sleep I was half asleep doing this and I remember Davi with my cat

one of my cats Davi was there and I was giving him little pieces of bread he was all eating them

I remember that I was sleepy I think that's the first incidence of sleep eating I've had

one of my nurses the last time i was in the hospital told me she had to get off of uh ambien

and go on lunesta because she kept eating everything she had in the house and she was

skinny she's a skinny thing but like she would have she would have bought like candy for like

for a candy dish on her on a coffee table in the living room for guests to eat and she would just

eat all the candy that was you just go out sit down on the couch eat every single leave all the

wrappers in there and go to sleep wake up and be like ah shit yeah yeah all right let's try to

to call this cabinet guy back now that we let him sizzle down a little bit sizzle chest man am i

talkative today y'all gonna have to deal with that hey yes i'd like to make an order please

straight rider the chairman could you let me know that the sound did the call sound low

is the music super loud am i super loud right now what do you say help me out please you got to give

me a chance hello this is kevin hey yes sir i'd like to make an order an order okay all right

Know an order?

Yeah, what kind of order do you want in place?

One cabinet.

Okay.

Do you know what style, what finish, everything?

One cabinet with stone, wood, hardness, fasteners, doors, handles.

Doors, handles.

Angles.

And what?

Angles.

Okay.

Several angles.

Okay.

Carvings, grains, colors.

And what?

You need to use some colors, some grains on that.

Some grains on that, some colors.

Well, I think you're going to have to come in and find something style-wise and color-wise that you're looking for.

Oh, you mean?

It means that you have probably about 10,000 different choices of combinations.

Oh, I don't want any upgrades.

I just want a standard counter machine.

Standard counter machine?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I'm not sure what you mean by that.

A counter machine.

You put things on it and inside of it, a counter machine.

Okay.

I don't have that.

And you can also make a counter.

I think you need two AND gates and an OR gate.

Okay.

Connect that.

I think you connect the outputs of the two AND gates and the OR gate to a NOT gate.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I definitely think if there's anything we have.

It's called the flip-flop counter, a flip-flop counter.

I have the notes here.

I could read them to you.

I think you're going to have to come in.

I mean, this is something we cannot do over the phone.

You think so?

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay, do you guys, do the counters there, do they plug in into the wall?

Do they plug in?

You plug them in and turn them on?

No, we don't.

Okay.

Because the counter we have here now won't turn on anymore, and I plugged it in.

It doesn't go, and I replaced the adapter.

I checked the sockets, and I used a different socket and everything, and it just doesn't power up anymore.

Okay, I'm not sure that we have what you're looking for here.

No, it's a counter like you put in the kitchen.

Yeah, but we don't do anything.

Counters don't have electrical in them.

How do you make the counter go?

You don't.

Sir, I don't think you understand what a counter is.

You actually use a counter to put things on top of, mount things on, store items inside, hang items inside.

You can organize them, not organize them, however you feel.

But it needs a source to make it count.

Yeah, I think you're definitely going to have to come in.

Okay, I understand.

I understand.

You guys want some pizza?

I'll come in with some pizzas there.

You got any ladies there we can fuck?

No.

No, we don't.

Okay.

Oh, no pizza then.

All right.

No pizza.

Should I ask for you?

No.

No, I don't think so.

Okay.

All right.

You sound like you have a nice big dong on you.

That's what I was saying, you know?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Appreciate that.

All right.

No problem, honey.

All right.

I love you.

He's definitely not interested in that counter.

I'm bringing back my old engineering classes.

electrical engineering classes I don't remember how those work dude I took I

took intro and then that's a good electrical engineering one and two and

ace them I broke my ass trying to do that because the teachers at the school

I went to for the intro that teacher he sucked it was this Indian guy was super

fucking rude and mean very condescending and the lab assistant was

his old black dude like your typical like you would expect to be like old

old black band janitor kind of guy like,

it was a mean fucking rude black dude.

He would just call you out in front of class.

He was such a dick.

Forgot his name.

Luckily after that,

for my engineering one and engineering two class,

is what this guy,

this white dude,

super fucking smart from Orlando.

He lived in Orlando ever since Disney.

He came as a Disney Imagineer

when they first started building Disney World.

And all the rides,

all those old school rides there like it's a small world shit like that he

worked on the electrical engineering designing of them and stuff how the

audio plays and shit and eventually he left he left Disney started his own he

didn't start he him and a group of engineers started a big engineering

company in Florida in Central Florida Orlando and they work with Disney

Universal SeaWorld on all their rides and stuff like that which is a lot of

fucking rides and there was a lot of fucking amusement parks in orlando so he knows his shit

he actually liked me a lot the reason i'm talking about this shit i'm studying a research i had my

ccna if you guys remember i took my ccna like four years ago i passed it and all that i don't

think i tech i i announced that i passed i didn't make a big deal about it because i was afraid

people were going to find me because i think you can find there's a public date there was a public

database that i went into once that happened for cisco whatever i think that's what it was but

But anyway, so I'm working on that now.

And I went to my old notes.

I have a box.

It just has my old stuff from when I got my degree, my computer engineering degree.

And I found all the notes from my engineering class and stuff and all my labs and stuff.

I was just mind blown.

I was like, God damn it.

I was doing this shit and I was getting it.

And one of them has the dead's phone number.

It says the dead and it has his phone number on it.

I remember I'd call him.

Me and him were in those kind of classes at the same time.

So I'd call him and he would call me.

We would kind of help each other out.

So that's before he was drinking all the time and getting married.

Blah, blah, blah.

Let's call a church.

Let's play the God bless you game.

See if they say it back.

I'm going to do a long show.

I don't have anything to do really except for clean up the kitchen a little bit.

I want to tidy it up.

But I can wait until another five hours if I wanted to.

I'll take some breaks.

Let's see how late I can go.

We're playing what, in my opinion, is the best Tupac album ever right now.

Get it right.

Thank you for calling St. John's Lutheran Church, located at 544 North Broadway in Knoxville, Tennessee.

Our Sunday worship services are at 845 a.m. and 11 a.m.

Our church offers...

Shut up.

Hitting at zero?

Hitting at zero.

I would love to put the dead on if he's not going to be a drunken mess.

If the dead's going to be nice and cool, sober, like he says he is now, I'd love to have him on.

Oh, dude, I found the dead.

I found a prank that you and Tuck did together a long time ago. I should play that

This is the general delivery mailbox at the tone. Please say the name of the person you are calling

Shut up. I'm gonna do that shit. Fuck. I look like motherfucker fucking phone monkey motherfucker. I look like Brett Carter to you

Oh, all right looking at the Ministry volunteer center

Whistle got murmurs bakery. Let's call the bakery first. It's on North Gay Street

Gay street

Hello

Thanks for calling

Memorous Bakery

We are located at

617 North

Yeah yeah yeah

We know we know

Oh

Well let me call back

See if they pick up

The second time

If not

I want to hear her

Say gay street

Hello

Thanks for calling

Memorous Bakery

We are located at

617 North Gay Street

See

I wasn't making it up

Guys

Alright

Let's call the

Ministry Volunteer Center

Let me open the website first

Hang on

I won't be too tough on them because they're trying to help the people, trying to feed the people, like CrazyFucker from California would say.

What's up, CFC?

If you're out there, man, big up to CrazyFucker from California.

You're the man.

He shows up every once in a while for a few months and he loses his way to get online again.

Or we change the chat.

I think he's actually been gone since we had to enforce those chat room rules, unfortunately.

So, CrazyFucker, if you're still listening, big guy, go back to our chat, man.

All right.

anyway so they're offering tours here let's see what they do exactly establish an 87 specialized

services to the homelessness and those within their communities who are in crises all right

hurrah

let's do it oh damn it give me some shits here i need some shit oh fuck this place

typical ngo no one's manning the phones no one's paying attention

motherfucker that's a nice message for those poor people okay

first christian church also located on gay street well right next to gay street but close enough for

my for my uh eyes a little too close if you ask me yeah eating a nice red apple you guys are

You're welcome to join me.

Fruit.

Fruit is very good for you.

Get your calories from as fibrous as you can.

Food.

You know what I'm saying?

Better than juice.

The juicing thing.

Come on.

Think about it.

Your body isn't working at all to break down that.

Eat the vegetables themselves.

Make your body break down that fiber.

Do some work.

Christian church.

Disciples of Christ.

We're lazy.

We're out helping God.

Well, God doesn't need help.

We're helping God's people.

There you go.

NOI Knoxville.

Is that Nation of Islam?

knoxville no ain't no white furniture ah well that's not what i think what up sloth sloth on

skype slacking at work what's up man probably on his lunch break 696 on gay street north k

now where we gotta go south hello fuck lady that's not reason to hang up i don't think so

bitch better pick up i'm really upset i really want to tell her off for doing that you

You fucking little bitch.

Changing the caller ID.

She ain't getting away from me.

I'm gonna give it a minute or two.

I'll shoot the shit with you guys.

I'll let it rest while I change the ID.

So what are you guys up to?

This office is waiting to get out of work.

Fuck yeah, man.

Early day, motherfucker.

Yeah.

Get some.

How many people listen at work?

Does Bernadette's at work?

How many people chat room?

If you're listening and you can type.

Say at work if you're at work.

I'm just curious.

Elky's at work.

Cool.

Randall Thor's at work.

DS is not here.

makes sense turtles at home of course you're a turtle big fat brian's unemployed man yeah clay's

does clay even have the job i mean i know clay's married and stuff clay's like a master artist i

think he makes a lot of velvet paintings of dogs playing poker and stuff all right here we go we're

calling the nation of islam in knoxville again no really it's a furniture story but we're calling

hey janice um i just called on my cell phone and you hung up why after i was saying hi already i

I don't understand that.

I was having a conversation on the side about the way to get to your place, North Gay Street,

and you heard me saying that, and you hung right up,

and I literally started saying hello as you were putting the phone down.

You didn't even give me a chance.

That's not nice.

Well, actually, I wasn't the one that answered the phone,

but I'm sure that she probably didn't hear you say anything and thought that you had hung up.

Well, she's a bitch.

That is completely uncalled for.

Well, can I talk to her then so I can curse at her, not you?

Sure, hold on.

Thank you.

This is Amy. May I help you?

Yeah, are you the one that picked up the phone when I called earlier and you hung up on me very rudely?

Actually, we get automated calls all the time, and it sounded like an automated call.

I was talking and having a conversation.

Can I help you?

First of all, I want you to put me on speakerphone. Go ahead.

Okay.

Did you do it yet? Hello?

Hello?

Yeah, am I on speakerphone?

You sure are.

i want you to apologize for hanging up the phone on me like you did um i do i apologize for hanging

up the phone and i'd like to know how big are your labia and how big are your areolas and your

vagina why put me on speakerphone dummy now everyone heard that yeah sure i'll put you on

speakerphone but i got the apology first i was headed there i saw the chat room saying i knew

where it was going you guys know me it reminds me the time me and matt did that well we were

We were pranking a dude, and he thought he was slick.

He put us on speakerphone.

So it was like, oh, yeah, everyone, check out how crazy these guys are.

And Matt goes, this guy jacks off while you're in this office while you guys are working.

And he scrambles for the phone and slaps it and hangs it up.

That was a great moment.

All right.

Who's next?

There's an Old North Abbey.

Is that a church?

I don't know.

Let's find out.

What the fuck is an abbey?

A-B-B-E-Y.

I mean, I know it's a religious place, but what is it?

Is that where monks hang out?

Now, participating with God for the life of the world.

Okay, we'll see about that.

Let's call him.

Coming up next.

The Google subscriber you have called is not available.

Oh, he's Google Voices.

Coming up next, we have General Parts Corporation.

Oh, I love this song.

You want it, motherfucker.

Does it feel when I fuck you?

God, for real.

Coming around.

Yeah, hey, how do you want it?

Huh?

How do you want it?

How does it feel?

I'm coming up like a nigga in a cash game.

I needed to check on some parts.

Okay, who is this?

Lucius.

I'm sorry?

Lucius?

Who are you looking for, Lucius?

I'm looking for parts, idiot.

Yes, hi. I'd like to check on the parts.

Who are you with?

We're a wholesaler.

We don't sell to anybody.

I'm with Valentin Associates.

Don't be rude. Candy attitude.

You're calling me an idiot, buddy.

I don't care who you are.

You're yelling at me.

Don't call me buddy.

Don't curse at me like that.

I'm not cursing at you.

Fucking shit, man.

You can't talk to me like that.

I just did.

Motherfucker.

Whatever.

I don't want to talk to no wholesaler.

Don't curse at me like that, buddy.

All right.

If anyone's following Jodi Arias, that chick that supposedly killed her husband or boyfriend or whatever it was.

They weren't married.

That weird, weird story back like seven, eight years ago.

The jury just came out and said that they couldn't come to an agreement on her during the trial.

so that automatically takes uh the death penalty off the table so that's done but there's i guess

they're still working on coming up with a verdict that's a weird weird story i'm not going to get

into it but that story is weird the the the american girl in italy is really weird um and

there's also a story i think in an american couple were honeymooning in australia and they

were scuba diving the girl died the wife died and um during the scuba dive she lost her ability to

debris and she died and drowned and they're saying that the dude probably did it they haven't really

been able to prove it i'm just like weird stuff going on the gravesite the guy keeps going to the

the ex the husband is being accused of murdering her keeps going to the gravesite and taking away

all the flowers they put for her to the point where the girl's family has put up like spy cams

and caught him in the act of doing it wicked wicked stuff oh yeah crazy murders okay back to

the map the abbey didn't pick up parts is a bust where are we at now castleton farms i wonder what

they sell there let's see no no website we'll have to just call them and wing it this is my

style of pranks guys i mean a lot of people don't like it but i literally they don't all hit because

i am literally do no pre-preparing at all for shows like some other hosts do i literally i get

the number i like when i'm doing this i'm literally looking at a map and finding the next business

and like all right like improv like all right we're gonna do this it's it doesn't always work

like you know it's got to be a i got to be on my toes it's hard not to be planning and all that

shit it always it never works out for me like if i try to do it i have way more success this way

it's my steelo man nothing wrong with that stuff like vagina doesn't always plan stuff sometimes

maybe a theme i'll have a theme picked up like today i want to call the uk a lot that's about

the extent has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system eight six no answer there

I don't want to talk to no farms anyway, so good.

All right, going up the street, here's the Friendship House.

Right next to Carmichael Motor.

Let's call the Friendship House first.

Let's look at their website and see what they're all about.

The Martha A. Withers Friendship House.

Home to peer support centers, psychiatric rehab services, and support housing offices.

Sounds like some bullshit liberal shit, huh, Sloth?

Sloth is listening.

He's a diehard Republican conservative, man.

He was a Democrat until Ronald Reagan went in office.

He was one of those that converted over.

Hasn't looked back since.

Helen Ross McNabb Center.

Hey, how you doing, honey baby?

This is the Helen Ross McNabb Center.

Yes, and I said, how you doing, honey baby?

Well, I'm not used to being called honey baby.

I transfer calls to the Helen Ross McNabb Center.

Oh, I'm just being nice.

I'm just trying to be nice.

How are you?

I'm fine, thank you.

Are you feeling sexy today?

Right this, two, five, nine, six, five, eight, five.

One, eight, six, five.

I need you to transfer the call.

To who, please?

To psychiatric rehabilitation.

One moment.

Motherfucker.

Yes, you made it out of my number.

Listen, Nunu wants me to call the Saudi Arabian embassy.

This is Jewel.

Hey, how you doing?

How are you, honey?

I'm fine.

Are you doing sexy today?

Yeah, I don't think so.

I'd like to make an appointment.

For what?

I need to have a psychiatric.

I need someone to get in there and pick my brain and really help me out.

I have this sexual thing with the sexual powers, especially with women.

Yeah.

I keep showing my penis.

Oh, goodness.

Well, you probably want to call our adult center.

Oh, this is for children?

Well, this is not a psych evaluation place over here.

What is it, then, dammit?

Well, let me give you the phone number to call.

I don't want it. I don't want it.

Okay, well, I'll transfer you. Hold on one second.

Okay.

I can pick up a picture for you, Mala.

I'm having fun eating sunflower seeds.

Have I been transferred yet?

Hello?

Hey, are you in the toilet?

I'm tired of holding.

Welcome.

Who's next?

I got some laughs in there with the Honey Baby.

I don't know.

I went to Burger King yesterday.

I used Honey Baby to the girl at the drive-thru.

She was just fine.

All right, let's see what's going on, Nunu.

All right, so I guess this is the Saudi embassy in D.C.

They've been on a tear with executions in the kingdom.

I heard that.

I read that yesterday.

You have the Royal Embassy of Saudi Arabia in Washington, D.C.

For Arabic, press 1.

For English, press 2.

You guys want to hear Arabic?

Please hold.

Someone will be with you shortly.

Now, in Arabic, you read from right to left. Do you also do your math from right to left?

I wonder. Salat do you know? In Arabic, do you do math from right to left? I would imagine so.

Hello. As-salamu alaykum.

Yes, sir.

As-salamu alaykum.

Wa alaykum as-salam.

Hey, motherfucker.

How are you? How are you, motherfucker?

What the fuck was that?

You have reached the Royal Embassy of Saudi Arabia in Washington, D.C.

For Arabic, please hold.

You have reached the Royal Embassy of Saudi Arabia in Washington, D.C.

If you know the extension of the party you're trying to reach, you may dial it at any time.

For the consulate section, press 1.

For the Saudi citizen office, press 2.

Welcome to the consulate section of the Royal Embassy of Saudi Arabia in Washington, D.C.

If you have questions about how to obtain a visa to enter Saudi Arabia or to authenticate documents,

please refer to our website at www.

Shut up. What's a girl there? That shithole.

Someone will be with you shortly.

Anyway, three executions in two days this week.

The Saudis.

At least one was beheaded.

I'm sorry.

An operator is not available.

I don't care anymore.

We'll call the next number, which is a consulate visa section and direct number for it.

There's also a health mission, a commercial office.

We'll try that.

Or information press.

We'll try that.

I want to talk to them about the new king.

I want to tell them that he's practicing apostasy and sorcery.

Let's see what they did.

There's an apostate.

You have reached the information office of the Royal Embassy of Saudi Arabia for media inquiries

Please press 1 for non-media related information about Saudi Arabia. Please press 2. Please hold

Anyway Carmichael, I'm sorry new news not working but we get the motor company. All right, let's give them a call

Let me make sure they make what they do here. Exactly. Got a feeling there. Oh, they're on a man automotive repair and customization

Customization.

Okay.

There's not a car sales place.

Hi there.

You have reached Carmichael Motor Company.

We are at 213 East 5th Avenue.

Your call is being transferred to the receptionist.

Hi there.

This is extension 10 for Carmichael Motor Company.

I'm sorry, but we are unable to take your call.

Whoa, shit.

Back to the map.

We go.

I'm going to go to a different part of this town.

All right.

Empire Gas.

That's right, the gas.

All right.

I give up on that.

Here's CAC Enterprises.

CAC Enterprises.

CAC.

Hey, how you doing?

Doing pretty good.

That's good.

What do you guys got going on there today?

Do what now?

What do you guys got going on there today?

I can't understand what you're saying.

What do you guys got going on there today?

What have I got going on?

What do I have going on?

Yeah, what does CAC Enterprises do or sell?

Can you describe it?

You do scrap metal, right?

Do I use scrap metal?

Yeah.

No, I don't use scrap metal, no.

Do you take it, right?

You recycle the motherfuckers do what now you recycle those motherfuckers. I don't understand what you're saying all this cursing

What's that about you do? I'm sorry. That's how I talk to my friends. I'm sorry. I thought you was a pal

Anyway, you guys do recycling

I know

I love just eating on the phone on their asses

Understand you please leave a message after the beat. All right. All right. I'll leave him alone

All right, let's see.

Knox Rail Salvage.

They salvage stuff from the rail?

Let's see.

Let's take a look.

It's a salvage store of some kind.

At least they're by the rail station.

That's why they say rail.

But I'm looking at it.

I just see kitchen cabinets.

Heritage-wide in-stock cabinets.

All right, let me fuck with them again with the cabinet thing.

I'm going to order one cabinet.

UK Ted, what's up, man?

UK Ted, call in on Skype.

I haven't talked to you in so long, man.

Knox Rail, could we help you?

You could if you're going to can the attitude.

Yes, sir.

And not be rude.

That's a good one. What you know good brother. You sound sexy, baby. Oh, there you go. I want to make

Yeah, what you getting into?

Cabinets Kevin is one second, bro. What Wanda upstairs? Huh? She's sexy. Yeah, all right who she's sexy who?

We don't have nobody around here like that Wanda. Let me transfer you to the other store. She has sexual

Is that Wanda is this Wanda

Who is it?

What are you looking for?

I'm looking for cabinets.

Cabinets?

Yes.

What?

Con.

The con you put on the wall?

Okay, would you like them to be finished or would you like them to be unfinished?

I want them completed.

All right, hang on.

Stupid.

So Savage can help you?

Yeah, I'd like to make an order.

Like to make an order?

Yeah.

Okay, for...

You people can't transfer me around this stupid place of yours.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What are you wanting to order?

I want to order one cabinets.

Okay, one cabinet.

Which cabinet are you wanting to order?

With wood.

okay what kind of wood with wood and stone and spaces and handles and swivels and angles

and paint and colors okay what kind it needs it needs to have the opening in front you know

for the door and the handle you put your hand on the handle and you pull and the door swings out

and you put you put the things in there and then you close it you push it the door you push it you

You push it until it sits back where the hole is.

But you don't do it hard.

You have to do it kind of medium, you know.

If you do it soft, it won't close right.

But if you do it hard and everyone complains, you might break it.

Well, you close it, leave it shut, and just leave it.

You forget about it.

And then when you need the thing, you say, where's the thing?

And you go, oh, yeah, it's in the cabinet machine.

Okay, the only cabinets we have, they don't have stone on them.

They have wood?

They're just made out of wood.

All wood.

There's no stone.

How big is the cabinet machines?

How big are they?

The cabinet machines?

We don't have cabinet machines.

Well, that's what it is.

That's what you use to put the stuff on.

The cabinet machine.

It's made out of wood and everything.

Okay.

Sorry.

We don't have anything like that.

Sorry.

Do you have the reinforced ones you can use for fucking in the kitchen?

In the kitchen?

Okay, no.

They don't have the fucking ones.

Greyhound Package Express.

I think that's actually the Greyhound Company itself, and they do packages.

Ew, man, I've never been on a Greyhound bus service or anything like that before,

and I hope I never do.

I've heard gross stories about them motherfuckers.

I'd take a train before I took a Greyhound, yo.

What's up, Cobra? Cobra in the house?

He's anxiously awaiting the release of GTA V on PC, as am I.

As is Brad.

Cobra, you should get involved with our Twitch channel when we do that.

Our plan is once GTA V comes out, we're all going to be together.

Try to do some stuff together on the Prank Call Nation Twitch channel.

cobra has plans he's got plans of uh trolling a lot you think he's been doing it but not recording

it yet but trolling cobra tell us some of that shit you've been doing in the chat room trolling

them motherfuckers all right we ain't getting an answer here all right so fuck it here's the

athletic house come

on.

God, and when they do answer in this town, it takes forever.

Hey, yes, I was interested in the...

Were you looking at the bike?

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Was it a counter bike?

Yeah.

Were you down here looking at it?

Yeah, yeah, I was.

I was.

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

See you.

Thanks.

Hey, who's there?

Come on, Eric.

He's going to be like, what?

All right, a guy called and said he was sick and about the bike.

Great.

That's Carlos does not have an idea for a prank, and he just did something stupid to get out of it.

That's what that was right there.

I came to Gay Street, Old Southern Railway, Deep Rocksville, Tennessee.

Gay Street.

Saturday of every morning to regular meetings of our museum membership.

I don't need no information line, motherfucker.

All right, custom rims and wheels.

No phone number.

Never mind.

All right, we're going across the railroad tracks,

and now we're on Southgate Street.

Remedy Coffee.

Let's call them, ask them for a coffee with heat, made with water.

It's the same ideas over and over again, right?

Thank you for calling Remedy Coffee in the Old City.

If you need to leave a message at the town, please record your message.

Okay, if I leave the message, and that's it.

how you doing i'd like to make an order to who i want to this is coffee right yes

i need coffee i need to make an order okay okay are you ready yes okay one coffee okay okay that's

it anything else um do when would you like this ready now now okay you're not gonna ask me how

i want my coffee how would you like your coffee i like it we don't typically do orders over the

phone so i like it with heat and water with what water and heat can you make it with water and heat

Alright, I don't want to mess with big brothers and big sisters

I'll pass on that

Here's O.P. Jenkins Furniture Store

Yeah, that's a great name

O.P. my name is O.P. Jenkins

come sit in my furniture and fart on it hey this is furniture yes uh okay and can i talk to someone

about making an order what i'm lori what can i do for you you sound hot um will you give me a tour

of all the furniture if i go there me and you together um what now what do you yes we've um

have four floors and doors there's a lot here so we can jump on the front can we jump on the

the furniture and test it no can we sit on it you can sit on it do you have beds yes and i can

lay on the bed to test it right can i lay on my stomach and then act like i'm humping it man now

i'm starting not want to do a show anymore all of a sudden i'm amount of creativity can i help you

hi how you doing honey baby excuse me how are you doing honey baby there's something we can help you

with furniture all right you tell me what i can find for you and i'll be happy to find somebody

who can answer your question a good sofa for fucking all right that'll be enough no

fuck you furniture maybe i gotta take a break you think guys that's what it is i think i should get

up take a break touch my pee pee a little bit let me do that let me take a quick break it's

gonna be this prank well i'll play the prank i mentioned the dead and tuck let me see if i can

find it real quick i stumbled into it last night just going through my music library

so like i think it was like a chinese thing saudi prankers big black men six minutes in length all

right i'll play this and i'll be right back we'll continue the show machine okay what about your

country in america you are in america yeah oh my god i love america huh i was living in the united

United States for five years ago.

Five years ago?

How many years?

And sometimes I am back there.

Huh?

I only care about my family.

Hey, Mike.

Yes.

Hi, my name is Nora.

Nora from Saudi Arabia.

Hi, how are you?

You said you lived in America.

What part of America did you live in?

I am a Hornet, and I'm very Hornet.

Okay, and where in America?

I'm in Tennessee, and Steve there is in Illinois. He's in Chicago.

No, we're not in the military.

Do what now?

Yeah.

Steve may be. I know I'm not.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

How are you?

Dude, you're...

Just a minute, please, because there is a fucking guy coming.

Come on, I don't know your mail, man.

No, I am here.

You're too articulate for a Saudi Arabian woman.

I'm sorry, I never...

No, no, no, I like it.

Who is it?

I like it, I like him, I like him.

Thank you.

My brother.

Okay, let me talk to your brother.

You want to call my brother?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hi, brother.

Hi, man.

Hey, what's going on?

Hi, everybody.

What's happening, man?

Is it a black man?

No, this is not the black man.

I think the other guy is the black man.

Wow.

Yeah.

I don't like black men.

Right.

So do you dig black men?

Sorry?

Do you like black men?

Do you enjoy the company of black men?

Do you like big black men?

Or do you like the little young black men?

Hi, brother.

Hello.

What's going on?

Do you call my brother?

He called me.

He called me a...

What?

He called me a black man.

Oh, you are a beautiful man, don't worry.

Oh, well, no, he called me a black man, as opposed to white man, or yellow man, or brown man.

He called me a black man.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, I like them.

Yeah.

You are so beautiful.

We are here on some today to...

You, you, I didn't hear you, what?

I didn't, uh, I'm sorry, can you say that again?

I did not understand you, everything you said.

Okay, let's talk again, please, because I have a lot of my brothers who want to talk to my room.

Uh-huh.

Can you give me just a minute?

Okay.

What about you, please, be in your room to make a discussion?

Pardon?

Huh?

I don't know, where, where I...

I don't know where the other guy is, the other, the other black guy is, uh, I don't know.

I need you to be a master.

You, you're gonna be a, a winch server, did you say?

Oh, you want to masturbate with me. Oh, I see.

Well, that's Steve's job. Steve, you over there, man. The dead. Dead.

Steve, you over there? She wants to masturbate with you.

Steve is a great... Steve is a champion masturbator.

He won all kinds of awards over the years.

Yes. He is state champion in pillow humping.

Your brother has herpes?

They take that as a, yeah.

Well, it got really quiet there, didn't it?

I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.

Warmed up some chicken.

It's cooling now.

Put it in the microwave for too long.

So now I had to turn the fan on, and it's on.

The fan's on there.

So I'll be eating that during the show here pretty soon.

Isn't that going to be great sounding?

Not gross at all.

And yeah, that was a prank with our buddy the dad,

who was just in the chat room earlier.

I don't know if he left, but it was him and Mike Tucker.

What the fuck do you want, Mike Tucker?

That guy right there.

Alright, back to the map

Back to the pranks

Most importantly, back to Tupac

Tupac Shaker

Amen

Yeah

Motherfucker

Hang on, map coming up right now

We got about 70 listeners on Shoutcast

How many do we got on Mixler?

66, so

136 or so

135, let's say

Not bad

For a middle of the day show

Middle of the week

Be sure to be tuned in tonight to JAG at 8 p.m. Eastern, followed by Science at 10 p.m. Eastern, 7 p.m. Pacific.

Only here, Prank Call Nation.

Of course, you may be listening to us on Blue Planet Prank Radio.

And we thank you for listening over there.

And thank you to Ted Webb for letting me broadcast my show on there.

I love it.

Yeah!

Speaking of dings, we're going to call another furniture place.

That made no sense, right?

Ah, but watch.

But watch.

Kind of early for that, but fuck it.

You know what?

Fuck it.

YOLO.

The kids don't say that, right, YOLO?

Fine Furniture Company.

Hey, how you doing?

Fine.

Oh, good.

I'm not doing good.

I'm having a bad day.

Okay.

I'm going to talk to someone about furniture.

Okay.

All right.

Where does your furniture come from, boy?

Everywhere.

United States or outside?

It comes from everywhere.

I don't like that at all.

What's the best quality you got going as far as couches?

I want them nice and strong so they can hold me and my wife.

We'll be fucking on them.

Yeah, that's great.

Which ones do you think?

yeah that's great i think it's this town it's just all right i'm calling knoxville tennessee

all right and they're really sensitive to the curse i mean we're in the south here we're in

the heart of the bible belt i gotta call someone like mike where i used to live orlando orlando

people like what the fuck but i've done orlando before you know what we'll do tampa let's go to

tampa florida fuck it fuck orlando i'm looking at tampa tampa bay looking right at eboard right

North from Ybor.

Alright, we got Ace

Shelving.

Cross.

Thank you for calling

Ace Industrial.

How may I help you?

Yeah, hi.

I'm looking for some

nice, sexy, good-looking

shelves to put fake

penises and vaginas on.

I'm in Poinciana,

Florida.

Sure, hold on a second.

She didn't catch it.

Poinsettia's too far away.

I was trying to say Pinellas County.

Tarpon Springs, that's where I'm at.

With my man legend, if he's listening, what's up?

Larry, can I help you?

Hey, Big Larry, how you doing, fat boy?

All right.

All right, I'm looking for some nice, big fucking racks that I can put, like, all my dildos and penises on and do some fucking on.

Who is this?

My name is Eddie.

Eddie?

Yeah, and this is going to be at your mama's house.

Huh?

This is going to be at your mama's house.

Yeah.

I'm going to fuck her.

Yeah.

And everyone's going to be watching that shit.

Yeah.

All right.

I mean, it'd be awkward if you were there, but you can be there.

What's that?

It would be awkward if you were there while I was fucking your mama, but if you want to be there, you can.

Yeah.

How do you spell that?

Yeah.

I'm just insulting people today.

I hate it when I do that.

I'm just insulting people today.

Maybe I need help.

Who's out there?

Anyone want to join me?

Don't go too crazy.

All right?

Don't derail me.

Please don't derail me my show the last thing I need right now, but you can join them all for the help

Hit me up on Skype. You know who you is you people train Rick was around on stuff

I think train Rick got a girlfriend and she doesn't like I'm doing this shit. I think that's what happened

All right Empire body shop. Let's do it. Yeah. I like to make an order an order for wet for one body

Yeah, body shop. I need one car one car fixed. You need one car fixed. Mm-hmm. What kind of car fix?

Is there a man I can talk to?

No, there's not.

But, I mean, I'm...

Oh, this is a female body shop?

I don't need women messing it up.

I don't know.

Okay.

I mean, how...

You see?

I can't get around the insults today, and everyone's just like, fuck you.

This show sucks.

Oh, hey, yeah.

I wanted to make an order.

Make an order?

For one car.

Okay.

Yeah.

How much is that?

What do you want to make?

to make to make it fix oh you know yeah you're talking about a repair on an automobile right

on the body the frame exactly okay i want you to make it nice and clean and good again

and like when it when it goes i want it to go normal you know and you're asking me how much

of that would cost to make the car look like good again yeah first of all you need a frame

Framed? Straightened?

Yeah, the framed straightening machine.

You know how that works?

Do you work with that?

Yeah, but we don't have one,

so you'd have to call a different body shop.

You think Amco?

We don't do that here.

You think Amco, asshole?

You think Amco?

Hello?

Yeah, hello.

Hello?

I just want to get my car.

I'll call back.

Only God can judge me.

Only God.

Only God can fuck me with mold.

Fuck me right in the ass.

Jesus will come inside my ass

and unload his big nut in my ass.

Hello?

Okay.

Employment calls are the best, Elkie,

but unfortunately I don't have a newspaper.

It's got to be the Sunday paper,

and the last two weeks I keep forgetting to pick it up.

Next week.

I love those employment calls, man.

Daytime show with fucking employment calls?

Get out.

The problem is for me to do that,

I end up having to call local,

which is against the rules.

I can't get too crazy,

and it's actually kind of risky for me to do that.

because it's local to me.

That means that local laws and jurisdictions can apply much easier

than if I was calling out of state from where I live.

This is because I'm picking up my local Sunday paper.

Now, what I would love is if listeners on a Sunday wouldn't mind.

You see, I should do this.

I should remind them on my show that I do on Sunday night,

hey, listeners, if you get a chance, if you haven't or you do have it,

hang on to your classified section of the Sunday paper wherever you live

and send me those numbers so I can do them.

Email them to me.

Email me a few of the ads and I'll do them.

Hell, you could even just take a picture of it.

Send me a picture off a cell phone.

Just make sure it's clear enough for me

to be able to read the shit.

Just send me that.

That'd be perfect even

because I'll just print that out

and circle it like it's the real newspaper.

I got a pretty good printer.

Yeah, well, I should say

I'm about to get a really good printer.

It's paid for.

Waiting on delivery.

Wait for that shit gunna fuck it.

With your wireless fucking manager.

all right here we go next call where we at elementary school no underground network

fuck is that they have a website let's see uh okay well off the bat i can tell it's uh

never mind i don't want to talk about it but learn more about networks around the world what

a bullshit fucking place this is let's call them it sounds like bullshit thanks for calling camp

underground this is bad how can i help you yeah listen um i'm looking for these services right

Right. Can you explain what your company is in one sentence? Because I'm so confused.

Sure. May I ask who you are?

My name is Bill. Bill Cross.

Hey, Bill.

Hi.

Can you give me just a second?

Okay, honey.

Thanks.

Square space site. That's what I was going to say. You can tell off the bat it's a square space site.

Hi, is this Bill?

Yes. Hi. Is this Sexy?

Hi. I'm going to go ahead and hang up. Thanks.

Excuse me?

oh shit oh i did i done it again oh damn it what an idiot move of mine why can i just shut up and

let her do her bullshit oh come on now i'll never know what they fucking mean like look at this

bullshit i'm looking at them undersight our story all right here let's delve into this how we are

different in the summer of 06 50 of us left our churches to form seven house-based church groups

We love the Western church, but hope for more than Sunday morning.

Oh, it's a religious thing?

They start saying they're networking.

I don't fucking get it.

It just sounds like they created their own little religious shit to be tax-free,

and they're fucking just living off of it.

It sounds like a pyramid scheme disguised like a fucking Christian offshoot cult.

Pride or surrender all lives to Jesus and his cause.

Whatever.

Jesus doesn't need you to surrender everything like that.

You guys don't get it.

all right we got auto repair or if they're i mean i know i can go on monster.com but no one ever puts

phone numbers in their monster.com ads never right so it's all about email i'm talking about

looking for the employment shit now there's a website out there if you can go to i don't know

that you can go to a newspaper's website and look at the classifieds digitally if you could

then that's something different hello yeah

um can you make my car go hello hello can you make the car go what i need

you guys to make it go the car needs to go where you at i'm on gay street well i don't know where

gay street is though shit can you guys meet me at the chicken and waffles up the street

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

And that shit is loud.

And Gay Street, that's the wrong city.

We're in Tampa now, you doofus Carlos.

Damn it.

All right, here's a law firm.

Jacob's and Adam's?

Yeah, I got arrested for masturbating in public,

and I ejaculated on the floor in Walmart.

But this is what I did.

It's a law firm.

Why can't you hear it?

Why can't you listen?

Oh, shit.

i wasn't joking she's like we do business law whatever damn it well the next lawyer's office

i see i'm gonna have to do that it's gonna be real descriptive about my problem all right here's a

cigar shop called la estampa cigar i'm hoping they're hispanic owned i'm gonna talk shit about

some cubans looks like they're a wholesaler i don't think they actually are making them

this is ebor so there's a lot of cigar trade going on in ebor in tampa

please leave a message after the tone damn it here's the breath of life fellowship this is so

much doing shows is so much more relaxed now that i realized i had this really nice mouse

been using it like a gaming mouse i never took advantage of all the buttons as this shit i'm

gonna make a show profile and i did so all the copy pasting of numbers i just hit a button on

the mouse to do it out to be ctrl c ctrl v when you do it so much it does get to be a pain

because I can actually kind of do the show just one-handed now for the most part and I can pause

I pause the music with this button here like that I don't have to be like when someone picks up the

phone I don't have to scramble to go into my music player to hit the pause button I can just do it

with a button on the mouse that's really cool and if I want to skip to the next track I got a button

to do that real easy I won't do it because I like this song I'm digging it anyway here we go with

the next one breath of life fellowship fellow fellow fellowship hello sure elkie give me jobs

with numbers why not we lost one of the shoutcast streams oh i also put volume controls on the uh

on the mouse so i can real easy without having to scramble for the volume see what i mean i

usually put it to one or two percent one to three percent is what i do as show background and if i'm

gonna play it just playing like we were just we're about 75 you'll see i should do a video of how i

i do the show and all that but i want to give that stuff out that's proprietary stuff right

coca-cola doesn't let you into the factory see what's going on all the time you know maybe

sometimes we received unprecedented access to a coca-cola factory for this episode of how it's

made in that case here's another car repair call nope hydro pure systems providing hydro pure water

Let's get in that hydro, reefer hydro.

machines we do okay yeah i need the main machine to go it needs to go okay let me take your

information and have somebody give you a call no no because you know um what happens is when i leave

information with women they usually get it wrong or they don't pass it on um i really would like

to talk to a man right now even if it's just to leave a message you know with a live person

all right i'd be happy to take your information no but you're a woman you're gonna mess it up

probably you know you're gonna fuck it up i'm sorry to curse i'm sorry but you're probably

going to really screw it up wrong okay at this point i can either take your information or

you're welcome to call back later all right go ahead and take a message all right are you ready

okay my name is cross valente from valente and associates you got that all right and the woman

answering the phone has big labia i know you're finding this funny but i don't oh because oh you

You do have big labia.

I'm sorry, honey.

I'm sorry.

Ah!

Hee hee hee.

Big labia.

She does.

You can tell.

You can tell by her mouth lips, the way she talks.

She's got big hip lips.

Hip lips.

Whatever.

All right, look.

Elkie says in supposed numbers for employment offers.

Excellent.

We got someone here looking for a machinist for 20 bucks an hour.

Hello, this is Amanda.

Oh, hey, Amanda.

Amanda, I was calling for the plant machine, senior machine guy.

Yes.

Yeah.

I have 18 years experience with machines.

I make machines go, making them go, making them clean, making them work,

touching the machines, touching the private parts on the machines inside, you know, to fix them.

Mm-hmm.

What do you...

I have experience with labia, touching the labia on the outside and the inside.

Okay, thank you.

You're welcome.

I guess she knows what that means.

Okay, thank you.

She won't answer again.

She's like, see ya.

Thank you for calling Employer's Overload.

Yes, I was just talking to someone regarding the position available.

Oh, what position?

The plant machinist.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I do that.

I have 18 years experience with machines.

machines okay i touched them the machines inside in the private parts inside i open them up

i'm just english is not my first language the hell

the private parts that's what immigrants gonna call it you know the private parts inside the

machine would you open them up instead of saying components the private parts

now we have more of those good good good good good let's get to them but first let me call

this place hello yes i'm gonna help you yes is this computer adventures in computers yeah okay

um i'm having a problem with my computers are you still in business you still do um

the things i've been here 28 years oh where'd you locate it okay and then you could take my

computers because i need inside inside the private parts of the computers it has a problem i think

Okay, just bring it in.

Would you open up?

Do you have the machine, the tools to open up and touch the private parts?

That, ladies and gentlemen, was the comic book guy from when I was a kid.

He's like 28 years.

That's Soddy.

He's ruthless in that town.

For a while, he was the only place selling magic cards and selling comic books in the town.

He was a ruthless dictator.

spectator if you pissed him off if you're a kid and you pissed him off or your parents pissed him

off you get banned from the store or like blackballed from magic tournaments and from

being able to buy shit from there like you wouldn't be able to buy comic books and shit

oh he was a dick he was an asshole he only kept like the more mainstream comics he refused to

special order stuff for you i mean i would tell look hey i want to get can you get me a preacher

i remember i told sir i really want to get preacher he's like yeah i'd have to special

order it uh but i'm not gonna do it because it's only for you if maybe more people come and say

they want a pre-shirt and i i'm like i just want the the fucking graphic novel the paperback

version the wherever where they put a whole story in one big book he's like i know i don't know i

don't think so fucking idiot 28 years so then there was this gay ice cream guy in town our

Our ice cream man was gay.

Super nice guy.

I used to call him the ice cream male as a joke.

Anyway, super nice.

And he always carried cool stuff.

He'd carry imposter colognes when I was in high school.

I used to buy those all the time.

Cheaper versions of Jordan cologne and Calvin Klein ones and all that.

Anyway, so he started selling magic cards.

Along with his candy and his ice cream and his bullshit,

he was selling packs of magic cards.

They were selling like crazy, like hotcakes.

and it was awesome for me and i have to go to saudi's anymore this guy came through twice a

week came through on saturday and whatever other day during the week he would show up

buy a few packs oh yeah fuck yeah fuck saudi saudi finds out about this goes after the guy

goes to like wizards of the coast whoever was the in charge of the cards of magic itself back then i

think it was wizards of the coast still we're talking mid 90s he complained to them that it's

be selling them like that he's not a licensed car a car dealer he doesn't have a representative

got on his ass and yeah he had to stop selling them never he told us like yeah

he's like that guy over there that foddy guy he complained to the company and they like they gave

me a faith in the fifth letter i was like what an asshole man like i said ruthless dictator of

children that guy we were just talking to anyway we're looking for jobs guys here's another one

let's see what it is what we call it career in real estate yeah yeah you gotta pass a test for

that you know you gotta get your whatever your i knew people that kept telling me oh man carlos

i dialed the wrong number used to tell me all the time oh carlos man come on come work with me

you just gotta pass your blow blow blow test cram for it you pass it you can sell you know

this is back when like the housing market in florida was still like hotcakes before the crash

those idiots did that no they ain't doing shit now they're back to working at call centers and

and I actually got a decent job.

Greetings, this is Bridget Pascatois

of John L. Scott Sunset Corridor.

Please leave your name, number, and message

after the tone.

Bullshit.

All right, we got Precision Grinding Job.

Are you someone who loves working with your hands?

Are you meticulous in your work?

If so, we want to hear from you!

In business for over 90 years,

this family-style manufacturing company

is currently seeking a grinder to join their group.

Okay, you got it.

Take it away.

You got it.

I'm feeling so good today.

I'm in such a good mood.

I hope you guys are, too.

I've been doing really good things for myself today, this last few weeks.

I'm feeling very positive.

Why shouldn't I?

Colleen Terrace, Daffy and Breed speaking.

How may I help you?

Yes, I see that you put in a post for a precision grinding job, asshole.

What was that?

Precision grinding job position.

Okay.

And have you ever been in with us before?

No, no, never before.

Is this the actual company or are you like a hiring firm?

We're a hiring, yeah, we're a hiring.

staffing agency, and we hire for that job. Nice, nice. What can I tell you about my experience,

or what can you tell me about the position requirements, please? So that would be a

question for one of our recruiters. Her name is Crystal. She is the one recruiting for that

position. She is away from her desk right now, though, conducting interviews. Would you like

to leave her your name and number on her voicemail? She'll get back with you. You can interrupt her.

You can interrupt her. I can. I'm sorry. Come on, baby. Excuse me? Come on, baby. Interrupt her

for me. Oh, I'm sorry. Let me

get you to her voicemail, okay? One moment. Do it for me.

Hello, you've reached Crystal Burnett

with Tara Staffing Group. I'm sorry

I missed your call. Please leave your name

One moment while your call is connected.

One moment, please. Thank you for calling

Tara Staffing. This is Bree. Help me help you.

Hey, Bree. Is that like the cheese? Yes.

Oh, that's sexy.

I'm sorry. How can I help you?

I got a sexy name, baby.

Oh, well, thank you. Have a nice day.

Almost choked on a bone for that

cat prank motherfucker coming up next looking for lumpers and freight handlers we're looking for

lumpers freight handlers no experience necessary we'll train okay let's do it i'm guessing this

is like lumping is like connecting the machines together your call has been not getting an answer

there moving on to the next one looking for a phone manager auto bdc slash phone manager giant

used car store looking for a bdc manager to manage 150 to 250 leads per month let me look up the term

bdc manager quickly i think it's like for leads and stuff let's see bdc manager is a business

development center director internet manager with automotive dealership inner sales management

experience okay business development center director in this case manager okay bbc phone

and slash manager all right i'll shut up thank you for calling fidelity for your finance where

the dealers buy this bobby how can i help you yeah um looking to talk to jimmy or pete they

already gave me a call once about working over there with you peoples sure one minute he's on

another line can you hold yeah baby that's fine okay are you home for pete yeah yeah it looks

like he's gonna be a little bit on the other line can i get your name and number and i'll

let him call you back here in just a minute what can you tell me about these jobs um not a lot

that would be pete i'm brand new how you like it there so far i love it is there nice sexy girls

Uh, customers.

Probably nice. They wear nice short skirts.

Very well could be.

I love it when they do that. Don't you love it when women wear those short skirts?

I like all women and everything.

Let's imagine they don't have any panties on.

I see.

I'm stroking it right now, see what I'm thinking about.

Do you want to give me your number or no?

I'm just trying to see if I can get it. What about Jimmy?

Stroking it right now.

breakfast attendant hotels looking for hiring a full-time dinner slash breakfast attendant

responsible for setup cleanup serving up of dinner up for the hotel up monday through thursday okay

good morning thank you for calling the homewood suites by hilton this is devon how may i help you

hey i was talking about that jobs i'm sorry i'm talking about them jobs the jobs what can i uh

can i put you on a brief hold please sir okay honey oh man have i not learned my lesson yet

to stop with the shit today?

The minute I say honey,

you hung up, of course.

He's a man.

He doesn't deserve that.

Good morning.

Thank you for calling

the Homewood Suites by Hilton.

This is Devin.

How may I help you?

I'm sorry, Devin,

that I said that.

Please, okay, I can hold.

Please.

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

I accidentally pressed.

Oh, one second.

Thank you, sir.

Mr. Morgan.

Ah, shit.

I hit the wrong button.

Thank you, Tom.

Oh, yeah,

I was trying to talk to Pete.

Um, sure.

One moment.

Oh, it's snowing again.

It had stopped.

Well?

Hi, are you home for Pete?

Yeah, what's going on here?

Yeah, he's over at the trade line.

It's going to take him a couple minutes to get back up here.

You want me to take your name and number?

No, I'm going to wait.

I'm waiting, goddammit.

I'm waiting.

Wow.

Unless, is Jimmy there?

Who's this?

This is James.

Jimmy or James?

This is James.

Who am I speaking with?

I need to speak with Pete.

Let's take us along and get him on the phone.

I'm not too sure.

I'll see if I can track him down for you.

Well, hey, listen.

Listen to me.

Tell him yourself.

that I say needs to get on the goddamn phone.

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Just one moment.

Thank you, thank you.

I can hit that button again.

Thank you for calling Stelty Fleet and Finance.

We're the dealers by this Robert.

How can I help you?

I need to talk to Pete.

Excuse me?

I need to talk to Pete, damn it.

Okay, Pete's down at the trade lot.

It'll take him a few minutes to get up here.

What do you mean?

Your best bet would let me to get your name and number

and have him call you back.

What do you mean a few minutes?

What's a few minutes, goddammit?

I'm calling about the...

First of all, no more swearing at me.

First of all...

I'm calling about the S-H-I-T job.

I understand you're calling about a job,

but I'm just not sure if this is the right way to go about it, sir.

I mean, Pete is DGM.

He's a little busy.

If you'd like to give me his name and number,

I will have him call you back as soon as he's available.

He's a P-O-S, slow S-O-B-M-F-er, you know?

Okay, I really don't know why you're swearing at me, bro.

I'm not swearing, G-D, and I'm not swearing.

Okay, would you like to leave your name and number?

F-U.

F-U, too, motherfucker.

All right.

Okay.

Where do we leave off here?

All right, hairdresser is next.

Hairdresser.

Thank you for calling, Pauline Steiner.

I'm currently working on a client or away from the phone.

Working on a client?

Please leave your name and number.

Yeah, baby.

I'm calling about machine operator, 10 positions open.

You open your legs really wide for me.

Excuse me?

I was calling about the machine operator jobs positions.

I'm sorry, but what was the second part that you just said?

Ten positions open?

Oh, okay.

Sorry, I misunderstood you.

Yes.

So, yes, we have ten positions available right now at a company called Kia Systems in Forest Grove.

We're manufacturing printed circuit boards.

Hi.

Can you tell me a little bit more about your machine operator experience?

Yep.

I used to work for a company called Stromberg Carson, which is bought up by Siemens.

Okay.

I used to work with PVC board, soldering, machine straightening, assembling televisions, telephones for the Siemens Corporation.

And so how long did you work there for?

I worked there for 18 years.

Oh, wow. Okay, great.

In Florida. I was laid off when they closed the plant in 2012.

Okay. I'm actually familiar with Siemens. I went to UCF.

You went to UCF? Go Knights!

Yeah, right?

Um, so great. Uh, do you have a high school diploma or GED? Yeah. Okay, great. Um, and then

can I get your name please? My name is, um, Akulo, A-C-U-L-O. Okay. First name Cross. Uh,

Cross Akulo. Okay. And Cross, uh, C-R-O-S-S. Yep. Okay. All right, great. Um, well then I'd

love to schedule some time to, uh, for us to meet in person so that you could, uh, take a tour of

our city again. Um, how is Forest Grove going to be for you? Hmm, sounds good. Yeah. Where do you

want to meet you want to meet at starbucks excuse me you want to meet at chipotle you like chipotle

no i wanted you to meet me at my office for a job and that's really inappropriate no i thought that's

that's how i've interviewed before i meet at you know over lunch or something oh no for temporary

positions we meet at the office oh okay okay oh you thought i was like inviting you out or something

them i um yes i did oh jesus good night i apologize understanding okay maybe you're like

ovulating and you're a little excited or something but no i wasn't coming on to you um trust me you're

not my type i

don't believe that talking about my

ovulation schedule is appropriate it's called your menstrual cycle and your ovulation cycle

Um, okay. Well, I think that you...

So when are we going to schedule this thing?

Um, no, I don't believe that we're going to schedule this thing, because that was inappropriate.

What kind of panties are you wearing?

I was going to find out anyway.

I should have let her set a time, and then done that.

Wow.

Alright, who's next? Who's next?

Lumber Company.

Spread your legs open, whatever the hell I said.

I was able to reel her back in pretty good for a while there.

and then again with the dating thing i was like no goodness why would i

this is evelyn yeah hey ovulation vagina i'm calling about the position you had posted for

lumber company um your name my name is akulo hold on a moment okay so that guy went to ucf

and she's where let me see what's this area code at still looking northwest oregon northwest oregon

and she went to ucf that's cool she knew exactly what i was talking about my dad worked there for

18 years yeah I got hung up on can I ask who's calling yeah my name is Akula I

was calling regarding the position you have open what position is that the is

the construction the lumber company whether I'm sorry for a lift driver they

have big vagina I'm sorry what was that the forklift driver position okay is it

into all it's in yeah sure would yeah okay big penis what would you like to

to know about it um well what are you looking for how much experience are you looking for exactly or

should i can you explain the position to me at all um yeah you'll be driving a forklift out of

the lumber company meep meep meep okay um is this full time hello hello hello hello what are you

doing to me stop it whatever there's like a cross line or something there yeah i actually this is

This is a business.

I need you to stop prank calling us.

This is a business.

This is a human being.

I am a human being.

All right, moving on.

Tree climber position.

Welcome to Evergreen Tree Care.

If you know your party's extension, please dial it now.

To obtain a no cost or obligation estimate, please press one.

To pay your bill, please press two.

Please hold while I transfer your call.

Hi, you've reached Kathy Kamek.

Like, she's not here right now, but if you would leave a message, she will get back to you as soon as possible.

Fuck her!

Fuck tree climbing.

All right, driver wanted for mulatta, whatever that means.

Oh, it's in mulatta.

Ooh, the next one is sweet tomatoes.

That's a great place to eat.

Largest, nicest salad bar you'll ever find in the world.

And they got good soups and pizza.

Well, not pizza.

It's more like breadsticks.

Their soups are the bomb.

It was good to see a UCF grad, like, on the whole opposite side of the fucking continental U.S.

All the way in Oregon, northwestern Oregon, northwest Oregon.

All the way to Orlando to go to college.

Damn.

Day at Sweet Tomatoes.

For hours and location, press 1.

For catering orders, press 2.

Go.

Thank you for calling for me.

I'm calling about the job position open.

Can you repeat that?

I'm calling about the job you have, position, the job you're hiring.

Yeah, let me let you talk to your manager, just one second.

Thanks for calling, this is Tom, how can I help you?

Yes, hi, Bisexual, I'm calling regarding the hiring ad you have.

Yes, what's up?

Okay, what kind of experience are you looking for, will you train?

Yes.

Okay, will this involve me touching the salad greens?

What's that?

Will this involve me touching the salad greens?

um maybe oh

okay uh when can i come down to do an interview or are you just taking applications first

oh yeah we take shut up yeah shut up shove it up your ass the job okay okay shove your job up your

ass okay weird huh i got a mouthful of sunflower seeds i'm about to die all right moving right

out alone let me close some of these excessive amounts of craze list ads i have open well thank

you elkie for sending in those numbers if anyone else has some let me i'll check to see if anyone

else sent some uh elkie just sent one seeking dental and medical professional in portland okay

hello hello how can i help you hey don't be scared of my music i'm sorry please don't tell

anyone i was playing music yeah i was calling about the um position you had open okay which

Which position are you applying for?

It's for the dental assistant.

Are you there?

Yeah, I'm here.

Hello.

What position are you applying for?

Are you talking to me?

Yes, I am.

Oh, you put me on speakerphone.

Speakerphone.

What position are you applying for?

Dental assistant, dental hygienist.

I've been doing that for eight years.

I don't understand why I'm on speakerphone.

I didn't give you permission.

I couldn't hear you on the general phone.

Oh.

I'm trying to hear you.

But are there other people hearing me now?

Yeah.

No.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

And what DA number were you applying for?

What, DA number?

Correct.

What's that?

That would be the dental assistant number that we would have for our job posting.

There's no number like that here.

I think you're incorrect.

I think you're mistaken again.

Is there a man I can talk to?

There is not.

It says work 300 hours or receive $25 gift card.

Does that help?

If you're already signed up with us, are you already signed up with our services?

All right, look.

Look, immediate need for dental assistants, dental hygienists, dental front office coordinator,

medical assistants, medical front office coordinators, and dentists to join on our call tent pool.

If you are looking to be on call until you find a permanent position,

or if you are just wanting to pick up some extra shits, we are the place for you.

We have staffing needs. As soon as today, please call us, and it has your number.

If you are available immediately or go to www.dentalmedicalstaffinginc.com to apply.

Absolutely, and are you looking to be on call with our services?

Work 300 hours till you will receive a $25 gift card to a place of your choice.

Participants only.

Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.

Do not contact us with unsolicited services or offers.

Post ID 4914697240.

Posted three days ago.

Updated three days ago.

Email to friend, best of, and it has a question mark.

No contact info.

If the poster didn't include a phone number, email, or other contact info,

Craigslist can notify them via email, said no.

And then it says compensation competitive, and it has a map.

Absolutely, and are you EFTA or X-Ray?

X-Ray.

Okay.

Oh, yeah, I'm ejaculating soon.

I read the whole fucking page, word for word.

Absolutely, absolutely.

This is Tina.

Hi, Tina.

I was disconnected.

I was calling about a position.

Yeah, do not call here anymore.

It's immediate need for dental assistance, dental hygienist, dental front office coordinator, medical assistant.

Hello?

Yeah, she was gone.

Gentleman Medical Staffing, this is Tina.

Hello, this is a completely different person.

I'm calling for a dental front office coordinator position.

Homer, who is Homer?

I am Guy Incognito.

That's what I should have said.

Guy Incognito.

I used to use that as a screen name in the early 2000s.

Guy Incognito.

Guy Incognito had a wispy mustache and a cape and a top hat, right?

Exact copy of Homer.

Except for that, what I just described.

And that episode's bullshit.

Moe fucking kicking Homer out and banning him from the bar, from the tavern.

That's fucked up, man.

I mean, when Homer had a heart attack, Moe and Barney went together and brought him beer to drink before his heart surgery.

Moe gave, uh, Moe, uh, got and stole the recipe for the flaming Homer from him.

Became rich, lost it all.

But Homer still let him sigh, still forgave, and still remained his best customer.

Damn it.

All right.

Blah, blah, blue.

We're looking for a hairstylist and a plan to wear a barber.

Nope.

Here's a bus aid.

School bus aid.

Bus, this is Lisa.

I'm looking at that school bus aid job and shit.

Pardon me?

I'm looking at the school bus aid job.

Uh-huh.

What can you tell me about that?

What do I got to do to get that damn thing?

Well, just, you have to come in and fill out an application.

Have to have a clean background check.

Have to have worked with children.

check check okay i'm bilingual i speak i speak spanish comanche cherokee and english nice yeah

um what's your name my name is uh cool i spell that a-c-u-l-o last name last name is nalgas

n-a-l-g-a-s okay um well if you want to come in and you can fill out an application or you can

pull one offline and bring it in yeah i'll bring it in i'll get all nice and dressed up you guys

like chipotle you want me to i'll bring you some lunch me and you will have lunch together

i'm not the boss so yeah that wouldn't work yeah but i like to you know smell your hair and touch

each other and smell each other okay i don't think you're probably not good for this job and touch

each other's genitals together i'm not i'm not i'm saying dirty things and that's for children

so i'm not gonna go any further but at least i think she's gonna be like oh my god i just got a

call while you guys are at lunch oh my god i mean look at his name akulu now guys what is that

telemarketers fuck them let's see what they got telemarketers needed ukie what's that mean i don't

know compensation doe department of education i don't know part-time what's ukie let's find out

i don't know anyone know the bitch motherfucker what do they call you bitch fucking bitch slut

What whore cunt.

Having sex too much and everyone says you're a bitch.

You put your legs up and get fucked by all men in the neighborhood.

That's my remix.

Alright, the person you are trying to reach has a...

Piece of shit.

Alright, we got housekeeping.

Housekeeping?

Currently seeking housekeepers and laundry personnel to join our team of professionals.

Please call for an interview.

Immediate openings.

Tiger, this is Dan.

Can you hold for a moment?

Sure, penis.

Penis?

Calling Brookdale Park Place Tiger Living Solution today.

Thanks for your patience.

This is Dan.

How may I help you?

Yeah, Penis.

I was calling regarding the housekeeping laundry services position you have posted.

Oh, okay, yes.

What we'd like you to do is come on down and fill out an application.

Uh-huh.

And very frequently you can be interviewed right on the spot here.

Oh, nice.

Does it smell like urine there a lot?

No, I don't think so.

Yeah, because a lot of these places with these stupid old people,

People, they urinate on themselves, and it smells like it inside.

This place doesn't have that problem, right?

I couldn't say.

Okay.

All right.

Do I get to wear gloves?

I can't.

You know, I'm not the guy to talk to.

If you want to come down and interview, I'll give you our address.

What do you do?

Are you a nurse, or what are you?

I'm front.

I've got to get this phone here.

I'll be with you in a moment.

I'm sorry.

Now, are you interested in coming down and filling out an application?

Yeah.

You guys aren't going to take pictures of my sexual organs, though, are you?

Goodbye.

thank you for calling park place and tiger this is dan how may i help you

sexual organs get go away no

leave him alone he's busy all right eczema on 50 of your body research studies with up to a

thousand dollars in compensat that's what it says no shun on that motherfucker compensation

Thank you for calling the

Acurian Health Clinical Trial Information Line.

Your call may be monitored

and recorded for quality assurance purposes.

Please hold for the next available agent.

Motherfucker.

Fucker bitch.

Mother motherfucker bitch.

Hello?

Yeah, thank you for calling

Acurian Health's Atopic Dermatitis Research Line.

Are you calling to learn more about the dermatitis study?

Yes.

And are you calling on behalf of yourself

or for somebody else?

Myself.

Okay, and if you qualify and participate in the study,

You may receive up to $1,000 in participation money.

You may receive no-cost study medication,

and you may receive no-cost study-related care from a local doctor.

Okay.

And I'm just going to start by asking, what is your date of birth?

It's, let me, oh, my date of birth?

February.

Okay.

10th.

Got it.

Yeah, 82.

February 10, 1982.

Okay.

And I'm just going to put in some contact information there.

Please have your first name.

Yes.

It's Robert.

Robert.

Got it.

And the last name?

Rohrer.

R-O-H-E-R?

R-O-H-R-E-R.

Rohrer.

Got it.

Can you read that back, please?

Yeah.

R as in Richard, O as in Oscar.

But just say it back.

Say it back.

Rohrer.

The first name, too.

Robert.

Rohrer.

What is it again?

Robert Rohrer.

No, you're not saying it right.

I don't think you have it right.

Okay.

The first name is Robert.

R-O-B-E-R-T.

Uh-huh.

And the last name is Rohrer.

It's Robert.

R as in Richard.

Robert is my first name.

Robert?

Oh, I see.

And then the last name?

Yeah, how do you pronounce it?

Rohrer.

Okay.

Can you say it all together now, please?

Robert Rohrer.

He's scuttling.

He goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, like that.

And he heard me saying him, bitch, too.

Thank you for calling the Aquarian Health Clinical Trial Information Line.

Your call may be monitored and recorded for quality assurance purposes.

Please hold for the next available agent.

We're calling a Curian's atopic dermatitis research line.

Hello.

Yes, hi.

I was calling about the research study.

Okay, and did you want to find out if you might be a match?

Did you want to find out if it's for you or someone else?

Okay.

Not.

Wow.

I think we've got a cross-connection here.

Yeah.

Okay.

If you wouldn't mind hanging up and trying again, perhaps we'll get a better connection

50% of your body.

Eczema studies are enrolling now.

Payment up to $1,000.

No cost study medication for eczema.

It's just confusing the shit out of that guy.

All of our representatives are assisting other callers.

Hi, good afternoon.

Thank you for calling a Caryon Health

and Atopic Dermatitis Research Blind.

My name is Heather Rodriguez.

Hello.

Yes, hi.

Are you calling about a research study today?

I didn't get your name.

You didn't give it to me.

I did.

It's Heather Rodriguez.

And why didn't I hear it?

It's Heather Rodriguez.

Are you calling regarding a research study today?

Yeah.

Is this out of Mexico or something?

No, I'm located in South Florida myself,

and we have study sites across the entire U.S. that are doing clinical trials.

Where are you at?

Fort Lauderdale, Boca Raton, West Palm Beach, Plantation, Miami-Dade, Liberty City?

Across the entire United States.

Once we go through the screener, if you do 3.5.

But where are you with your gum chewing on the phone?

I'm sorry, sir?

Where are you with your gum chewing on the phone and the hoop earrings I can hear?

I said I was in South Florida.

Where in South Florida?

Boca Raton?

West Palm Beach?

In South Florida.

Are you calling regarding a research study, sir?

Are you in Homestead?

Are you calling regarding a research study, sir?

Yes, yes.

I'm in South Florida, too.

I'm in South Florida, too, and this is the right office.

Thank God, thank God, you know, that I got the right one.

So do I rub this on the head?

Okay, you would not be coming to where I'm at, sir.

We just do a questionnaire here to see if you can pre-qualify to take part in the study,

which would be at a doctor's office location.

If I can't come inside there, can I come on it?

Is there something that I can help you with, sir,

because I'm not going to listen to your sexual innuendo.

No, no, no, it's not that.

I'm just curious, like, how does this work?

Is it over through the mail, the study?

I don't understand how a clinical study would be able to take part through the mail.

Well, you're telling me I don't have to go in person to where you're at.

That doesn't make any sense.

Not where I'm at, sir.

As I said, we just do a questionnaire over the telephone here.

If you pre-qualify, then yes, you would go to a study site that is local to you.

Okay.

All right.

Go ahead.

Questionnaire time.

I'm going to disconnect the line.

You have a wonderful day.

No, please.

No.

I need the cure.

She was there hanging in the balance like, what do I do?

this motherfucker. Thank you for calling

the Akirian Health Clinical Trial

Information Line. Your call may

be monitored and recorded for quality

assurance purposes. Please call

for the next available agent.

Hello. Hello, thank you for calling

the Akirian Health State Topic Research

Line. Yeah, yes.

Hello? Yes, how can I help you, ma'am?

Um, my name is Peter Ishan.

Are you calling about a research study today?

Yeah, for my eczema. Okay.

Let's just start to see which studies this

It started on my ass and balls, and it went up my body.

Okay.

Well, let's get started and see which study is best matched for you.

You may receive compensation up to $1,000,

no cost study medication,

and no cost study-related care from a local doctor.

Oh, yeah.

Is this going to be for yourself or for somebody else today?

Oh, for me.

It itches so much.

Oh, it itches.

Oh, stop it.

Stop that.

What was that?

May we need a birth, please?

Yeah.

December 7th, 1941.

December 7th, 1941?

Yes.

You were born on Pearl Harbor Day.

Yes, it's a very infamous day.

Look at the big brain on you.

What?

Wow, look at you for an ethnic.

You're not bad.

For a dirty ethnic, yeah.

Can I have your first and last name, please?

Yeah, my first name is Aquilo.

My last name is Reyes.

Aquilo Reyes?

Yep.

Can you spell your last name for me?

R-A-E-Y-A-E-Z.

R-A-Y-E-Z?

Yeah.

Okay, and your first name is Aquilo.

That's O-C-C-U-L-O?

No, A-C-U-L-O.

A-C-U-L-O?

Aquilo Reyes.

Okay, okay.

Mr. Reyes, may I please have your email address?

What's your last name and birthday?

My first name is Peter, and my last name is Eshaan.

What's your ethnicity?

I'm not at liberty to discuss that with you, sir.

Oh, is it dirty? Is that why?

No, not at all.

It sounds Jewish.

It's not. May I please have your email address?

Are you, like, Asian? African?

No.

What are you? Listen, do you want to get points?

I'm American, sir.

Do you want to get points for this or not? Play by my rules.

May I please have your email address?

yeah it's uh ghf at gloryholefoundation.com g-a-f at what foundation gloryholefoundation.com

okay and we have your daytime phone number it's 855-343-4481 i have 855-343 can you say the last

four again 4481 4481 extension thank you and this is gonna be your evening phone number two

Extension, extension, two-zero-five-one.

I cannot place an extension in here, sir.

You stupid fucking asshole. Fuck you, though.

This ain't gonna work, then, motherfucker. It's not gonna work.

Okay, sir, well, I apologize for that, but I...

Well, shit on you, then, motherfucker. You need to make the shit fucking work.

I'm sorry, sir.

Make it work, now!

I can't do that, sir. I don't have what I have in front of me to work with.

Would you like me to put a different number in for you, then, sir?

No way.

Sir, would you like me to place a different phone number in for you?

Are you his now huh?

Who are you?

I hold you.

This how I hold you.

Yes or no?

Hull.

No?

Hull.

So just leave it as it is?

Hull.

seven you know who i want to call i haven't called weeble wobble in a while that was a hot place to

prank off for like four or five days here weeble wobble what the fuck was that the dog toy wobble

ball was it wobble wag giggle ball was that it what was that i wonder i forgot your four-legged

friends are always looking to have some i found it i don't see a phone number on their site though

hello sir are you interested in are you interested in going through the questionnaire to see if you

may pre-qualify for a study yes who am i talking to my name is jennifer ledger i'm a supervisor on

on duty oh okay vagina yeah let's go ahead and do that okay well i'm going to go ahead and put my

the agent peter back on the phone he's going to ask you a series of questions he would need a yes

or no response to the medical question were you like and he's going to need some more contact

information were you brought in to like control me to control the situation oh we're just making

sure that you were interested in seeing if you if you would pre-qualify oh well yeah but i'm not

intimidated i mean you know i'm not intimidated by you you're a woman what would that bother me

Okay, would you like to go through the questionnaire?

Would you like to continue with me?

Your four-legged friends are always looking to have some fun.

I'm looking to have some fun.

I'm sorry?

I'm looking to have some fun with a nice, sexy girl like you.

Oh, sir, I apologize.

I don't appreciate that.

I would like to continue through the questionnaire, or we can disconnect.

Yeah, but have you ever heard of those balls that you put inside your cervix

and you have to walk around with them and hold them in with your pussy?

Sir, sir, I appreciate going through the questionnaire, but that's it.

I would like to continue through the questionnaire.

I'm not going to listen to the disrespect.

Okay.

All right.

I'm ready to answer.

But I want to answer with you, not with him.

I can take you to the questionnaire if you're going to stay on track.

That would be perfect.

Okay.

And I have your phone number as 855-343-4481.

Is that correct?

Yes.

And may I ask your mailing address?

Yes, you could.

Okay.

Your mailing address?

128 Horse Machine Ranch Road.

I'm sorry?

Sorry?

Horse, machine, ranch, road.

Can I ask for the spelling of that?

Horse, H-O-R-S-E, like your face.

Machine, M-A-C-H-I-N-E.

Ranch, like what black people put on everything.

R-A-N-C-H.

Sir, if you're going to be disrespectful, we can disconnect.

Road, R-D.

I don't know if you know how to use the computer.

Are you typing into the computer, honey?

I am typing into the computer, sir.

I do have a name.

I prefer not to be addressed as honey.

Honey baby?

Honeybaby?

Sir, I can disconnect the line if you're going to be disrespectful.

Okay, I'm sorry, sweetie.

I'm sorry.

Honeybaby, sweetie.

Sir, I have your address as 128 Horse Machine Ranch Road.

May I ask if there's apartment number suite or floor?

No, honey, it's a ranch.

Thank you, and may I ask for your zip code?

Uh-huh.

You could.

Your zip code, your postal code?

Yeah, 32808.

And that is in Orlando, Florida?

Yep.

And that zip code was 32808, is that correct?

That's correct.

Your privacy is important to us, so we do want to confirm.

My private parts are important, for sure.

Sir, I said your privacy, not your, we're not talking about anything like that.

My private parts are important, too, though, right?

Sir, if that's how you're going to speak, I'm going to disconnect the line.

I don't appreciate that.

All right, I will not speak on that,

but I'm going to be thrusting my hips back and forth for the rest of the call.

Okay, go ahead.

Your privacy is important, so I want to make sure that you.

Just pretend I'm working out.

Sir, I'm going to go ahead and disconnect now, okay?

You have a great day, and thank you for contacting a Curian.

All right, I do want to call him back.

Fuck it.

Thank you for calling the Curian Health Clinical Trial Information Line.

Your call may be monitored and recorded for quality assurance purposes.

Please hold for the next available agent.

Thank you for contacting Curian's Health and Topic Dermatitis Research Line.

My name is Jessica Schaefer.

Help you.

Yeah, I was calling about that study.

Okay, well, you may receive compensation up to $1,000, no study medication.

Still here.

Yeah, you're spaying?

Compensation up to $1,000, no cost study medication, and no cost study living care from the local doctor.

Are you providing information for yourself or on behalf of someone else?

Yeah, me.

And may I please have your date of birth?

Yeah, December 7, 1941.

Can you please spell your first and last name for me?

Akulo, A-C-U-L-O, Nalgaz.

Can you please spell that?

N-A-L-G-A-S.

And maybes have an email address?

Yeah, it's nalgaz at gmail.com.

And maybes have a daytime phone number?

Yeah, 503-812-2015, yeah.

And maybes have a street address?

128 Horse Machine Ranch Road.

And maybes have a zip code?

32808.

And if privacy is important to us, so I just want to confirm that you agree,

that we may share your information with personnel involved in conducting the study

and may contact you by phone using automated technology or other means of guarding your research.

Are you said okay?

Oh, yeah.

Yes, it's fine.

In this part of the questionnaire, of course, we ask you about gender.

To confirm, please tell me, is your gender male or female?

Male.

You know what another name for gender is?

Sex.

Have you been diagnosed by a medical professional with any of the following medical conditions or diseases?

Sex

Asthma or COPD?

Sex

No, never

Does the allergy or eczema?

No

Yes, eczema

Hello

I'm still here

Why are you not talking yet?

You said that you do have eczema?

Yeah, severe eczema

It started in my cock and balls

How long have you been experiencing eczema?

20 years

And may I please have your approximate weight?

Yes

Yes. It's 412.

It may have to be of approximate height.

Yeah. Yeah, you can. You could have that.

Is that how tall are you?

Yeah.

Can you tell me how tall you are?

Yeah. Yeah, I can.

When are you going to tell me how tall you are?

You want me to tell you now?

Please.

Oh, 5'11".

Have you ever been diagnosed with any of the following lung conditions?

No. No. No. None of those.

Bronchopulmonary. Nothing like that?

No. None of those. Nope.

Has a health care professional ever diagnosed you with any of the following medical conditions or diseases?

No, none of them.

None of them.

None?

Okay.

And has a health care professional diagnosed you with any heart-related conditions?

Have you undergone any of the following heart-related medical procedures?

No, no, no.

And what type of dermatitis do you have?

Shut up.

Are you still there?

Yeah.

What type of dermatitis do you have?

We wanted you to shut up.

Train wreck.

Yeah.

Tell her to shut up.

Shut up.

Do you think you have atopic dermatitis or eczema?

Please shut up.

Please shut up, okay?

Shut up.

Do shut up, please.

Any contact ever, Titus?

Be quiet.

God damn it.

Yeah, fucking shit.

Hey, can you put the manager on the phone, please?

Yeah.

Yes, I can.

Please hold for one moment.

Thank you.

Hey, train wreck.

Nice.

Hey, Cardinal.

Yeah.

One of these days, man, you need to show me how to do it with my mixer.

Yeah.

Oh, are we in the toilet right now?

Oh, yeah.

i think you you you put your level a little bit too high more sexy like that

are you drinking tea yeah yeah yes i am yes i am i drink tea now oh really i never tried coffee i

prefer uh tea myself yeah what's your favorite uh kind of tea i like the irish breakfast tea

yeah myself i prefer tea earl grey earl grey hot hot space

please make it computer t or gray hot jayad's telling me i'm the king of awkward thank you

hey what was that lady right now yeah she's taking questions hello hello sir taking too

long god damn it fucking shit oh hello can i help you yeah who's this my name is jennifer

ledger i'm a supervisor on duty how can i help you today yes can we continue my um questionnaire

from earlier i'm sorry sir if you would like to go through the questionnaire we can go through

the questionnaire but we we cannot tolerate the the inappropriate language okay all right all

right let's go ahead i'm sorry okay now the question you're on on this questionnaire is

what type of dermatitis do you have the options i have here are atopic dermatitis or eczema

i have bad which is typically red bad it's bad it's what the doctor said is that is that bad

atopic dermatitis i have eczema but they said it's bad it's bad they said it was bad that it

Is this bad?

Smoking is bad.

He said, yes, bad. It's bad.

He said like that to me. Bad.

Okay.

He wrote it down here next to it, and the paper says bad.

But not like, as in Michael Jackson, bad, you know?

Bad like bad, not bad like good.

What's the next question?

In addition to the eczema, do you have contact dermatitis?

Yes.

Do you have seborrheic dermatitis that's commonly known as cradle cap or dandruff?

No, no, no.

And do you have pneumular dermatitis, which is caused by, it causes coin-shaped sores on the skin?

No.

Do you have another type of dermatitis not listed?

Yes, I have AIDS lesions.

And is that a form of dermatitis?

Well, it's on the skin.

Would you like me to say yes, it's a form of dermatitis?

I don't know. No, I don't think so.

Also, where does vaginosis fall in line?

I am not a medical professional. I do not know.

So should I report that?

That would be up to you.

If you would think that that is a form of dermatitis, we can say it's another form not listed above.

Yeah, so put vaginosis there.

Thank you.

I have a few more that we might want to cover.

Okay.

What I do is just select an option that says another form not listed above.

It doesn't give me a place to indicate each condition.

Oh, shit.

All right, forget it then.

Thank you.

And which of the following skin symptoms are you currently experiencing?

It's bad.

Bad?

It's bad.

Are you experiencing itching?

Sometimes itch.

Itch.

This is my nurse.

He's my French-Canadian nurse.

Hello.

Okay, I can only speak to one person.

I give you HIPAA clearance.

I need to speak.

No, no, I would need to speak to the patient.

All right.

If my wife has a vaginal fistula, should I mention that?

It's kind of eczema.

Yeah.

Skin disease.

That, again, would fall under the other type of...

Very rare.

Very, very rare.

Yeah.

That would fall under the other types of dermatitis not listed above.

My skin is yellow and itchy and oily.

My belly, my big belly.

Do you have red, itchy skin?

Uh-huh, yeah.

And then I also have another skin problem.

My mother was half African-American.

It's a skin problem.

Yeah, so I have this skin problem where it's darker.

Okay, do you have flaking or scaly areas?

No, no.

Do you experience dryness?

On my penis.

Sir, if you're going to speak like that...

No, that's true. I can confirm.

Yeah, I have dryness on my penis.

Are we serious here, or are you intimidated by a medical term?

I need you to not use that language. I need you to refrain from that.

I'm using the best...

Sexual organ.

Sexual organ, is that what I need to say?

Yeah, exactly, because I'm trying to say it the best way I can.

You can simply say yes or no.

You specify it to your question.

Would you say yes or no?

No, I don't need the specifics, especially when you're going to be that perverse.

I'm not being perverse.

I have this problem with my penis.

It's dry.

I need to get it wet.

You know what I'm saying?

Okay, well, sir, you can go ahead and disconnect now.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

We can continue this at a later time.

No, no, no, no, no.

Okay, come on, the next one.

Come on, we're almost done.

We're almost done.

And then I'll be done, and then you won't have to worry about it again.

Do you experience oozing, weeping, or crusting?

Oh, my penis, yes.

Dry, ejaculate.

Sir, again, I would ask you to refrain from using that word.

I do cry, weep a little after I have an orgasm.

Okay, sir.

If you're not going to take this seriously, I'm going to have to disconnect.

Ma'am, I'm answering your question.

What's the next question?

Put yes.

Put yes, please, please.

Can I just ask you for the next few questions here to answer yes or no without any additional comments?

Okay.

It depends on the question.

Yeah, it depends on the question.

Do you experience bleeding?

I'm a man.

No, I don't.

Well, maybe you should tell her about each time of the month, you know?

No, but that's further.

Okay.

You know how you have a period, ma'am?

That's not me.

Sir, again, yes or no would be sufficient.

Oh, I said no.

I said not me, no.

Thank you.

Do you experience cracking skin?

Yes, on my penis.

Tell her about your sexual organ.

Rough, leathery patches.

Huh?

On my ass.

Yes.

My butt cheeks, you know, my butt cheeks.

Recurring rashes?

On my testicles and my penis, yes.

Sleep loss due to itching or scratching?

Oh, all the time.

I have a big scratch post and I mount it and I go back and forth on it.

Remember like I was doing it earlier?

Yeah.

How old were you when you first started to experience these skin conditions?

Four.

My first time I was 16.

In the past six months, have you had to use a topical product like a lotion, cream, or ointment directly on your skin?

Oh, yeah.

a lubricant with this guy over here yeah okay but sir i'm talking about for the dermatitis can you

please refrain from using that yes because it's on my it's on my penis so yeah what kind of

treatments do you apply to your skin over the counter or prescription filled by a pharmacist

uh lotion masturbation oil masturbation sir i'm going to disconnect now you have a wonderful day

No!

I like that when you said the order, oil masturbation, oil masturbation.

Oh god, fucking shit, Karina.

I think you almost lost it sometimes.

And I told her, come on, and then I'll be done, and you'll never have to worry about it again.

And you never have to deal with me again.

Oh god.

I have to call back.

Oh man.

Do you have a case number or something like that?

No, I got their phone number, but no case number.

Oh, yeah.

That's fine.

All right, here's a physician assistant job for a family practice.

You want to be a doctor?

Oh, yeah.

A pediatrician?

Oh, yeah.

Or you could be a surgical gynecologist.

You could say that.

I could do that, too.

Tell them both.

If you would like to speak with Dr. Kisick's medical...

Please hold while I transfer your call.

Wow.

This is Naomi, your doctor...

Fucker.

right yep all right next on the list farmers needed you want to be a farmer

oh yeah it's my next choice after medical uh

practitioner you always got that you can go back

right it's almost the same i like the angle with the skin problem that you uh

that you bring like it's darker it's a skin problem oh my god are you on

youtube cardio no just audio the pain in the ass getting

everything set up all right i imagine i'm almost done bilingual nurse oh what language does she

talk i'm guessing spanish but yeah you're bilingual yeah but you you are bilingual too

speak spanish and english too yeah i do yeah so we are both bilingual i said bisexual some guy

today i don't know if you know that no i i didn't catch i didn't listen to uh to the entire show i

just I was doing a cake and I just get back now but I was at the beginning when

you was it you that you said hey motherfucker and you said oh I I slip it

out like you didn't meant to but you said it all right this ain't going down

we got two sweeper truck driver sweeper truck we got one left after this and

And then I'm done.

No.

You did the show for four hours almost, like.

Three days.

Yeah.

I get so tired after two hours, like.

Hello?

hey the um the two sweeper driver hello hello yeah hello yeah i'm here are you there

okay yeah okay all right okay oh i'm sorry are you are you calling about the super position

position yeah definitely can you tell me a little bit more i'm i'm here in my truck right now i'm

eating i'm on my lunch break i'm sorry we uh i have a little bit time so okay can can you tell

me more no is it for day or night time sleepers we're hiring for both i can do both what do you

need well it's one or the other we have a night time position and a daytime position whatever

Whatever floats your boat.

Whatever you need.

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

Well, let's say day and night then.

You can take...

Yeah.

Well, no, you can do...

No, we have a night time driver or a day driver.

Right, right.

Okay.

Whatever you want to do, come in and apply for it.

Okay, so when do I begin?

Do I begin Friday?

Next Friday?

Do I start next Friday?

What do I need to bring?

Have you came in and sold out an application before?

Do I need to bring my own uniform?

No.

Have you filled out an application?

So, can I wear jeans?

Do you have Friday jeans?

Or is it Thursday for you guys?

Did we already hire you?

Oh, yeah.

You're going to.

You don't know it now, but you're going to.

Okay.

Well, you have to come in, and I'll give you your business hours to come.

Oh, no, no, no.

No, that's not needed.

We have a kind of a relation right now, okay?

So, let's surf the wave together, okay?

OK, maybe we can we can see where that bring us, you know, me and you in my truck or maybe me and you in behind the Xerox machine.

Who knows?

This coffee is so good.

Do you like coffee?

I can bring you coffee.

I didn't know where that was going to.

Hey, you want to want to call her back and say that you are me, but you have a different voice now.

OK, yeah.

OK.

Okay.

I can do the sipping if you need it.

Okay.

I think she likes me.

We have a date, Carlito.

Yes.

You need to be my chaperone, though.

Chaperone?

Yeah.

Hello?

Still sleeping.

Yes, hi.

I was calling about the position you have open.

I was on the line earlier and I got disconnected.

Okay.

Well, I was speaking to someone that was very inappropriate.

You're doing it still.

I'm not.

I don't think you were talking to me.

There's somebody else on the line because I heard you talking to him when I picked up the phone.

Oh, I messed up.

Listen, he really needs this job, okay?

I'm just speaking on his behalf, all right?

I'm his AA sponsor.

When somebody calls in and is inappropriate, that's not okay.

I know.

He's sorry, though.

He's sorry, right?

I'm sorry.

I won't do it again.

No, we're done.

We're all done.

Please, Sam, please give him a chance.

Please.

God bless you.

Please.

Really?

Yes, please.

I'm his pastor and his sponsor.

Okay, I'm going to hang up.

No, come on.

please in the name of the lord no please please help him please i was trying to give him the

address if he wants to come fill out an application all right uh let me see train

rig this bitch the bitch the bitch wants to give you the address okay i have a pen and paper

that bitch

bitch oh hey maybe maybe we can call her back and say is this the pizza oh fuck she's still

it's the it's still the bitch all right go ahead do that okay okay i bet she's not gonna answer

probably yeah yeah what a bitch we got a stupid bitch we got one last one here from elkie this

is for shampooing carpets okay that's for you carly though okay i take oh i meant the picture

Yeah, the picture, but yeah, the call if you want it, too.

The picture?

Yeah, yeah, on the PDA.

Oh, I thought you were saying something.

Yeah, you like that picture, man.

It's the second time I've seen it.

Yeah, I know, but you never change it, too.

No, I don't want that.

You're gay for that picture.

Mm-mm.

Gay for pay.

Hi, this is the sauna I'm enjoying.

Is this the pizza?

God damn it, motherfucking shit.

I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Thank you.

I got fooled.

You got fooled.

All right, I'm done.

I'm out of here.

See you, Mr. Trainwreck.

Thanks for being on.

Come back to the show.

carlito all right okay bye love you bye i'm dead picks me wrong anyway that's the show i guess i

mean i don't have any more numbers to do i mean i could keep looking for them but it seems like a

lot of work right now man in the meantime i'll tell you i'll remind you that i'll be on sunday

night sunday night yeah 10 p.m eastern 7 p.m pacific unless something happens to me uh tonight

night as i said before jag tv at 8 p.m eastern 5 pacific followed by sloth and his science

malarkey that's at 10 p.m eastern 7 pacific pacific and we got a show just about every

night of the week here so be sure you're tuned over at prank call nation.com okay

all right see you later thanks for letting me entertain you this afternoon

Calls (45, 2 h 15 min of 3 h 7 min)

Transcript

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