Are You Still A Whore?

You know something?

Not only are we going to New Hampshire,

we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona

and North Dakota and New Mexico.

We're going to California and Texas and New York.

We're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan.

I am bisexual.

I'm sexual.

Oh, I'm going out.

Oh, I'm going to put a special episode of Carlito's Prank Call Shenanigans

hosted by Carlito and by myself at this time.

If anybody would like to join me on Skype, you can do so.

Hit me up on Skype if you have me.

If you're already on my Skype list, then you're approved to be on Promo Boy.

I don't really have a plan.

I'm just going to do like an hour or so.

The issue here being that I go into surgery on Friday, and I don't know, just with my luck,

I'm going to be out for like months again.

Because I'm just, you know, I know for a fact I'm going to do a show Sunday.

And I'll have family coming in from out of town the next few days afterwards also.

To help me out with my recovery.

So even if I wanted to do a show, I might be indisposed.

So I don't know.

I don't know.

I mean, you guys know my luck.

You know, in August when I tried to do this, I thought I was going to come back in three or four days.

And it was like a month and a half.

So there you go.

Hence me doing a show now, just in case.

Friday morning is my surgery.

Wish me luck.

And I say we just get right into the prank calls, I guess.

Real quick, MadhouseLive.com is my website.

I'm broadcasting on the Madhouse Radio Network.

PrankCallNation.com is the main machine.

prank call nation.com subscribe to the podcast and all the different services and join the chat

room at that website we have shows every night we are also on blue planet prank radio that's

blue planet prank radio.net what's up to ted webb thank you for letting me be on your network

and a big hello to everyone listening to the best prank call shellcast station in the world

over a blue planet prank the best prank call one yes indeed um we're also on the cacti radio

And on the PCN, there is a PCN shoutcast.

If you're having trouble tuning in to Mixler because you have a slow connection, like on a mobile phone or at work or something like that, it's much easier to tune in using shoutcast.

At the time being, because of changes Mixler did, we are not able to host a 24-hour rotation.

So the shoutcast is up 24-7, but it plays silence unless someone is online.

So it's basically just a lower bandwidth version of what's playing on Mixler.

which kind of sucks and it sucks because we don't have a rotation on mixer anymore we got a lot of

listeners through that um mixer had reached out to us saying that they were going to put a fix and

they did it and brad said he's the one that runs the rotation he said that it still wasn't working

right whenever a host wanted to go on live um and they would connect anyone who was already

listening to the stream on mixer would not switch over to the new host they would just keep playing

rotation which is not a good thing not it was kind of surprising it worked in the first place

um i think maybe we might be able to reach out to mixer again see if they can try to fix it again

they seem to be open to the idea of fixing it because it behooves them to have us being able

to play something 24 7 and it's good for them i should say but whatever i use that word way too

much all right let's go to the swap shop someone has a 97 subaru outback for sale oh yeah hi you

You got a Subaru Outback car machine vehicle with tires?

Yeah.

Yeah?

It has nice tires on it?

Yeah, it's got good tires on it.

No, I mean, it's a good vehicle, period.

How new is the tires?

Well, I mean, they're not that new.

Probably about six, seven months old.

Oh, shit, damn it, right?

Well, I mean, they're new, but, I mean, they're not, you know,

because we didn't really put no hardware or interior on it.

But, I mean, other than that, the transmission's good.

yeah how many miles how many miles on that motherfucker i don't even know how many i

wrote down you don't know the mileage of the car and you're selling it well i mean i just

haven't wrote it down yet you know what i mean can you go go out of the car go check the mileage

real quick for my boy and i gotta find out now i gotta know this stuff now and i know you feel i

was getting ready to take a shit myself but i gotta get a car machine you know i'm bowels my

My bowers are loose.

All right, well, let me go do that, and I'll call you right back.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'll stay on the line.

Don't hang up.

Mr. Presumption, I have to call him back, because he can't call me back.

There's no calling me back.

He ain't going to pick back.

The person you called has a voice.

He's a dick box.

Hello.

Yeah, you're looking for a Winchester mod piece of shit?

I'm looking for the barrel, a slug barrel.

Yeah, I got all that shit, motherfucker.

Hey, listen, if you're going to talk like that, I'm not interested.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's just the way I talk to friends.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean nothing by it, damn it.

You know, it's just the way I...

I'm sorry.

I have respect.

I have respect for you.

How much...

I'm looking for a model 1300 slug barrel rifle.

It says 1300 in the ad, damn it.

Yeah, 1300.

You said 15.

No, they don't make a 15.

Well, you said 15 twice now to me in a row.

Well, I'm saying 13.

It sounds a lot like 1.5.

You've got a problem talking, I think.

You got a hair lip?

No.

Yeah, I'm sorry, sir.

Maybe you're epileptic or something.

I don't know.

So it's the 1300?

I got it.

Slug battle, right?

Yeah, that's what I got.

Yeah, yeah.

What'd you want it for, damn it?

I want a rifled slug battle.

Yeah, but what are you going to do with it?

I'm going to use it for hunting deer.

Okay, have you had good experience with the Winchester Mod 1300 rifle?

Yeah.

All right, I just want to make sure it goes to a good home, you know?

Yeah, where are you located?

I'm in Bulls Gap.

Okay, I'm in Rogersville.

I work in Rogersville.

Okay.

I work in Rogersville.

I live in Bulls Gap.

Where do you work?

I work at Horse Machine Ranch.

Yeah, I don't know where that is.

I have a ranch called the Horse Machine Ranch.

It's brand new.

Yeah, we do a lot of fucking there.

Wow.

And we record it on video.

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

If you want to come by, I'll give you the address.

You come by if you want, but you have to...

What are you asking for these?

What are you asking for the barrel?

Nah, that's a little more than I want to spend.

Why are you looking to spend, boss?

I'll make you a deal.

I'll make you a deal, God damn it.

Around 100 bucks.

100 bucks?

Oh, you got it.

100 bucks.

Okay, it's a blue barrel, right?

Blue?

Yeah, it's a blue slug barrel, motherfucker.

Yeah.

Okay, it's rifled, too, right?

Yep, it's rifled.

Nice and clean, rifled.

Yep, it's got a lot of lubricants on it.

All right, whereabouts?

Horse Machine Ranch.

ranch. It's a pornography ranch

here. We just film a lot of scenes

here. A lot of bestiality scenes with

girls and guys.

I'm not interested in that. I'm just

wanting to stop by and take a look at that barrel.

Yeah, I'm just letting you know what the business is.

That's what I was trying to tell you, but you kept

talking over me, fucker.

Is that you have to have an

open mind when you come here, because there might be gay

men or black women

or lesbian women.

I mean, we do...

I mean, you're welcome to come in and watch

Watch the fucking if you want to, you know.

That's all right.

I just want to see the barrel.

All right.

You got a big ass on you?

No.

You got a nice bubble butt?

Maybe we can get one of the guys to ride it.

Listen, I'm not interested in the barrel if you're going to be like that.

Okay.

No, I'm not going to be like that.

I don't need the barrel.

All right.

You're a married man?

Yeah.

Oh, but if you're a single, maybe, right?

Maybe if you're a single.

This is not going anywhere.

This ain't going to be good.

All right.

You want to just meet at Walmart then?

Walmarts?

Yeah, that'd be good.

Which Walmarts?

The one in Rogersville.

Okay, we can do that, yeah.

Are you from, like, Italian?

You sound like you're from New Jersey.

You sound like Dwight McClanahan.

No.

No?

Connecticut.

Connecticut?

Oh, you're a fucking Yankee?

I'm a Yankee, yeah.

I ain't selling you shit, motherfucker.

All right.

Okay, no problem.

Fuck you.

Get out of my land, motherfucker.

Fucking Zolar.

Yeah, you got that fiddle.

You what, brother?

You got that fiddle?

I got that fiddle.

Nice, nice.

That's good.

good uh and how much is you looking to uh sell that motherfucker for huh what how much you's

looking to sell that motherfucker for clean up your talk and i'll talk to you man oh i'm sorry

i thought we was a friend huh i was just talking like you was a friend brother you called me

brother it was like all right bro like my friend you know that's how i talk to my friends what

what clean up your mouth and i'll talk to you all right i'm sorry damn it i'm sorry so how much

250 you got that you got that fiddle right now yes sir you play a little bit just so i can hear

it you know i just want to make sure it's got a nice rich tone on it you said it you said it

huh i keep playing hold the phone brother huh well put the phone on speakerphone don't i can't

do that don't have to do that i'm old man don't have to do stuff like that now look at here you

you motherfucker, you.

You want me to just come over there

and see the fiddle, then?

You want me to see the fiddle?

Oh, that should not have occurred.

He's an old man.

That's Milkman, yeah.

Hello?

Hi.

Yeah.

Uh, 250, you said, right?

That's right.

All right, I'll be clean.

Where you located?

I'll be clean.

I'm in Rogersville.

You're in Rogersville, okay.

Yeah.

You want to meet somewhere,

or you want to just

me come over to your house

and see your private parts?

Hmm?

Hello?

Nope.

I guess he heard private parts.

Damn it.

Voice message system.

Four, two, three, four.

Okay.

So, we have goats and chickens for sale.

They also have two does and one buck.

Milk breeds.

Yeah, get some milk from that buck.

Roosters for sale.

Hello.

Yay.

You have goats and chickens for sale?

Yes, I do.

Okay.

Now, I noticed you got one buck.

I'm guessing that's a deer buck machine?

One buck goat.

Oh, a buck goat.

Okay, good, good, good.

And these are milk breeds, right?

Yes.

All right.

How much milk does the buck produce?

Because I can jerk them off and get the milk, right?

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

How much milk does the buck produce, do you think?

How big are his sexual organs?

Good.

They work.

That's all we know.

It has working sexual organs?

Yes.

Okay.

And the females do, too?

Yes.

How often do they go in heat?

They only go in heat in the fall.

They're like deer.

Oh, yeah.

I like the sounds of that.

They get all frisky.

Hello?

They get all frisky?

Do what?

They get all frisky in the fall?

Yeah.

How much urine do they produce?

I have no idea.

What about feces?

I don't know.

Do you let them roam around, or do you have a little stable for them, like where baby Jesus was born, like a manger?

God damn it.

Yeah, I was calling about them goat machines.

About what now?

The goat machines.

They've got them two female, one male goat machines.

Goat machines?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, you mean goats?

No, well, where I'm from, anything living like that, you call it a machine, you know?

Like a goat machine.

Uh, I think you got the wrong number.

You got goats.

All right, you got just goats.

Is that what you want me to say?

Click.

Oh, click.

Mistress Morgan has sent me a Twitter account.

It looks like a lot of people post off of there.

It's called American Classifieds.

Yes.

Awesome.

This is awesome.

With your permission, may I bookmark this?

Because I'll keep hitting this up.

This is like Swap Shop.

Even better.

This is updated more often, it looks like.

Wow.

All right, we'll do one of these.

Who needs Dwight anymore to get numbers?

Throw those in.

Carpet cleaning.

April specials.

Three room machines.

in hall 69 dollars uh three rooms in a hall so if you're gonna do living room dining room you can

get the hall and then like one more room like your family room 69 they don't touch their rooms so

fuck the rooms right you don't want to get those stream clean you don't really need to maybe once

every 10 years just team clean the rooms maybe the guest room blah blah blah buy three rooms get

one free machine water extraction yeah in case there's an emergency that happened my house twice

when i was growing up as a kid pipes burst two different times and we had to call the insurance

company they'd send a water extraction disaster company it's fun we get new carpet i think my dad

did it on purpose to get new carpet and paint in the house it was like a reverse arson job

bro yeah hey how you doing oh yeah man i got a problem i got water i got water in my entire house

three inches motherfucker oh what are you doing yeah what the fuck do i do like um

you do water extraction yeah what's up do you do water extraction like just what's up david

chain what are you doing what oh hey it's david hey motherfucker hey how you doing motherfucker

fucker how you been man you're good what's up dude oh i'm not good man i've been drinking

tonight i've been drinking tonight and drunk dialing everybody yeah have you ever done that

oh did i say i hope i really hope i'm not saying anything embarrassing you know

oh it works out oh man and then i'm in my underwear right now all right

in my computer chair i'm in my underwear and my penis like it pokes out of the hole

and i started i made my little dickhole talk i made it go me me me me like that was so funny

it was so funny tell everyone about this all right so that guy's gonna be real embarrassed

in the morning shit that's fucked up some guy yeah he called me he said he was playing with

his dick hole. He was drunk-dolling

everybody. I love it when that shit happens.

I remember once there was a prank

I did. Don't know where, don't know when.

But it was a restaurant, I know that, and

the girl I'm talking to, she's like,

is this so-and-so? I'm like, yeah. She's like,

oh my god, what's wrong with you?

Like, you're a stupid cunt.

She's like, oh my god.

She turns around, she's like, so-and-so said

stupid c-word.

And they hung up. Oh boy.

It sounded like he was a co-worker

of theirs on his day off.

You'd probably give him the next day, like, dude, you really called whoever a cunt?

No, I swear I didn't.

No way.

No.

Hello.

Hey, you have a Mercury Grand Marquis?

Marquis?

Yes, I do.

Yeah?

That's good.

Does this smell nice in there?

Yeah, it's, um, have you seen it at the church where I have it parked?

Yes, I have.

Did you read about it?

Okay.

I saw it at the church, and I'm asking the inside, because I tried to open the door, and it was locked.

Yeah.

And I even started kicking on it a little bit.

Yeah?

So I need...

No, really, I actually dinged it pretty bad.

Yeah.

But I was asking about the interior, though, since I couldn't get inside.

Okay.

All right.

Gotcha.

As far as I know, it's still in pretty good shape.

I've been working on it.

Does it smell good?

Does it smell good inside?

side because i tried smelling through the cracks and i couldn't really get a good whiff yeah as far

as i know it smells pretty good yeah all right um was this your car i'm sorry was this your car

yes it was uh all right i bought it new back in 08 and um and i've run it for two shut up

did you do a lot of alone driving in it or with anyone else he is mostly alone yeah

All right.

Did you do a lot of porking in it?

Any porking?

I'm sorry.

I'm not getting you here.

You know, any fucking, you know, any fornicating in it?

Did you get it?

Not that I can remember.

I'm an old guy, so I probably didn't.

It doesn't work anymore?

I probably don't.

I wouldn't have remembered it anyway.

It doesn't work anymore?

Not very much.

Oh, that's too bad.

All right.

Did you masturbate inside the car?

probably did probably did all right okay did you do a lot of farting in it

fuckins all right jerking off sorry no farting fine ignore me all you want history will absolve

me my name is okay for twitter page so there we go thank you twitter all right 60 1962 international

International Diesel Tractor.

Damn, that's big as fuck.

I'll try them again.

Oh, I got the fuck you, Bob.

A 48-inch Atlas machine?

I think that's like a working out machine.

Or whatever.

A gym machine?

Exercise machine?

Did I just say working out machine?

Yeah.

Dude.

What's going on?

Oh, it's the same number for a different item.

Never mind.

Um, we got an 88 Suburban under 130k miles.

Here's a house for sale.

Never mind.

No phone number.

Fuck it.

Here is a Terry fifth wheel, 28 inch.

What the fuck is a...

I thought fifth wheel was like a bad thing to be.

minor it go lost in the season running out of choices hard to cope yeah it's fifth wheel

oh i forgot to ask if people wanted to be on let me see i think general awesome said he does

hey how you doing boy okay you got a fifth wheel fifth wheel trailer so it's a trailer what's a

fifth wheel trailer exactly i want to make sure i got the right thing here you know on my windows

95 okay windows 95 now what this is it's um it's not a fifth wheel it's a goose neck what

What it is, it's a travel trailer.

It's not a car trailer or nothing like that.

It's a travel trailer.

It's a travel trailer?

Yes, sir.

All right.

Can you fucking it?

Can you what now?

Can you fucking it?

Hello?

I'm sorry.

I don't quite understand what you're saying.

Well, I mean, what can you do with the trailer?

How much can you put in that shit?

No, it's nothing like that.

It's a trailer that you sleep in for vacation and stuff like that you live in.

Is it the kind with the accordion top that goes vroom?

No, no.

Fucking.

No, it's the wrong one.

but you can do some you can do fucking in it right no it's not that kind of trailer thank you

you can't have fucking it's not that kind of trailer that's an interesting sounding chap

he sounded like the black guy from family guy whatever that guy's name is i don't watch that

show that much what's his name washington cleveland hey i gotta go get water i thought

i filled my jug of water but i didn't so i'm gonna go do that i'll play a song we'll listen

to this song we'll go grab some water and i'll be right back and we'll do more calls yeah

hey i'm back yay back to them prank calls briggs for sale nice tifton and coastal

planning available all right so this is for sprigs of trees that become bigger

mama trees become bigger trees

What?

Anyway.

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message.

There is no answer.

Hey, Nick.

Hey, went down the wrong point.

That was kind of weird and gross.

I thought I'd just see if you wanted to join.

That's all right.

General Hawkins here.

Hey, awesome.

Hey, how's it going?

Hey, I'm good.

Thank you.

I'm doing prank calls.

Angus Bulls.

Range raised.

No phone number.

Never mind.

Stupid.

Assorted BMWs, Mercedes

Mercedes, Volvos, and Audis?

Nah.

This guy says he'll rebuild my automatic transmission.

Yeah, yeah.

You know of anyone else, either of you, who would want to be on?

That I can add.

Has anyone mentioned that I've missed?

Probably can when he gets back.

Yeah, I can. I'll drop him in.

Hello, we are not available now.

Please leave your name and...

All right, I got it.

Oh, is this an answer machine anyway?

Okay, never mind.

Gilly Stump Grinding?

Okay.

Grinding stumps for $10.

This is pretty cheap.

What's up, Gerald?

Not much, you?

Not a lot.

Call me later.

whatever next is a riding mower by the name of murray

yeah you got that riding mower i sold it today god damn it you fucking asshole you know fuck

you for doing that yeah really fuck him right damn it fuck him for not getting mad

All that venom I threw at him

I've been broadcasting for 50 minutes already

It's like I've done nothing

Yeah 50 minutes goes by pretty quick

It falls eh

Yeah

Cause it's my day off

That's why shit goes by fast

Looking for a Lowe's

Haven't called a Lowe's in a while

That place has the worst

It's just, I think part of it might be maybe because it's so big, you think?

Yeah, probably.

Trying to find someone out.

Best Buy used to have that problem, but now they oversaturate their employees.

The number of employees sometimes.

Before, I remember when I gave a shit about shopping at a Best Buy.

Like, oh, I have to fucking wait as I'm finding somebody.

I was so happy when they introduced, like, where you could order stuff and go pick it up.

for directions to the store press one for store hours press two to reach a department directly

press five or why did i hit three why

no i don't want that no speaking english i don't speak that shit thank you for calling

department six transferring to flooring please hold i was calling to talk to someone

one yeah um do you have the tool man there okay thank you what if his name is tim albor it was

borland right alborland tools can i help you hey how you doing boy i'm doing fine i need you to

look up a tool machine you got a number yeah no i don't have a number i got the name of the

it's the machine tool machine is that what it's called tool machine yeah hold on a minute why

I wish Dialer should join me, man.

Join the show.

His wife would probably be hitting him with a rolling pin.

She's a warrior.

Hey, get on here, Dialer.

Dialer?

God damn it.

Enigma, thanks for taking over the podcasting while I'm out.

But unless you work something out with Dialer,

Dialer's podcast won't get updated.

Dialer's episodes won't get updated

because he uploads them to me on a shared Dropbox folder.

And when they update in there,

on the site. I'm not going to make you have to go through all that, too.

Sorry, Dyler.

It's whatever. If you want me to add him on or just have him send me it,

and I'll slide him on there.

Yeah, if you two work it out and you're okay with it,

that's fine. If not, I'm sorry, Dyler, but

I may be back in a few days and can

take it over again. I don't know. I can't guarantee.

The same thing goes with the Snowplow show.

Unless Brad... Unless you know to go

and download them as Brad releases them.

It's not a big deal. Because here, it's already

going out. Dyler's is the problem because

he relies on that as his podcast.

Yeah, I'll grab him off

off uh his site because then they're edited still there sir uh well i'm waiting and you're being

really long time you're being a long time motherfucker three people ahead of me oh well

i'm on the phone i'm on the express line motherfucker pardon me i'm on the express

line motherfucker no what did you say before that before that oh that um i don't know that

i was taking you were taking a long time that's what i said buddy i wouldn't say that

You said MF.

No, no, sir, no.

Tool machine, the only thing I have that comes up with tool machine is a rotary floor machine.

Is that what you're looking for?

Maybe, yeah, I'll take it.

How much is it?

Several different ones.

What's the main machine?

The main machine?

No, sir, there's no main machine.

It's like a rotary floor machine, like a big buffing machine.

Buffer?

The buffer machine?

Buffer, yeah.

Okay.

Okay, and what if you type in main machine there for fixing the main machine?

Do you find anything?

Sorry, sir.

It comes up.

Nothing comes up on your main machine.

Please, sir, I know you're trying to help me.

I know you're frustrated, but you're kind of being a little ignorant, you know?

I'm kind of being what?

A little ignorant with me, and I don't appreciate it.

I'm just, you know, can you just be nice to me and help me?

Sure.

You asked for a main machine.

I told you I don't have one in the system.

You asked for a tool machine.

I don't have one in the system.

The only thing that came up was a rotary buffing machine.

Can you just try a machine by itself and see what happens?

Nothing comes up.

So you're saying all you have is a rotary tool machine?

They asked me to type in.

I can't even remember what it was now.

Rotary buffer machine?

That's the only thing that came up when I typed in.

Yeah, but I said screwdriver.

I said analogized screwdriver.

No, sir, you didn't.

Who is this?

My name is...

Really?

You don't believe me, sir?

I said automatized screwdriver.

My name is Ryan Wormwood, by the way, if you're asking.

I'm sorry.

Ryan what?

Wormwood.

Why don't you call back and call customer service?

Why don't you not be ignorant and transfer me?

You have a way to transfer, motherfucker, you.

May I be out of my shit?

The sun, cause it's the end of the sun.

The call.

Alright.

Wow.

Thank you for calling Lowe's.

Let's see what department that is.

Tools.

I think it's five.

For information on deliveries, press one.

For scheduled installation, press two.

Commercial sales, press three.

Appliances, press four.

Lumber and building, transferring to hardware and tools.

Please hold.

Baby, baby.

Lumber and building.

Yeah, hi.

The man in tools told me to talk to you.

Okay.

He said that you would look up the machine.

Which machine?

Well, I'm calling about the machine, the main machine.

Okay, hold on one moment.

Okay.

Let's expect a long hold here, guys.

Strap in.

Get ready.

So how are you guys doing there?

Enigma, what's going on?

How's your song?

Doing good.

Yeah?

How's your numbers?

Your numbers are good?

Numbers are terrific.

Good.

Hello.

How about you?

Hey, boy, how you doing?

Hello.

Yeah, hi.

Who am I speaking with?

Is this Tools?

Yeah.

What can I help you with?

Well, you told me to speak to customer service.

So I called them, and she said that you had to answer my question.

Sir, I've tried to answer your question, and you've cussed at me twice, I think three times now,

and I really don't have to listen to that.

I'm sorry.

If you have a specific question, I will gladly try to answer it.

Okay.

I'm not standing here so you can cuss me out.

I'm sorry, sir. I'm sorry. I understand.

I know you're just trying to work and do your second job because you're poor. I'm sorry.

So how can I pick up that machine there, or does it have to be special order?

or do you have it in stock right now which machine do you want i have to start all over again well go

ahead and put in the um we already did main machine right main machine didn't come up i can remember

that one what was the first one you asked me for oh what did i ask the first time see now you threw

me off with you because you got mad at me i'm sorry i'm sorry you know i don't know who you are

but if i called your place at work and cussed you out would you be would you be very pleasant

with me i i get cussed out every day at work well i don't and i don't appreciate it i know

but honestly i get cussed out i get cussed out at least four or five times a day by customers i'm

sorry i mean it's my job i'm sorry if you don't like it but it's part of being good customer

service is to deal with asshole customers sometimes i'm sorry but i'll take that into

consideration and i won't curse again i haven't yet all right so let's try to figure this out

It was a rotary buffer machine, I think.

Can you put in rotary buffer?

It's a rotary floor machine.

They started $959.99 and go up to $1,179.

All right, what are the brand names?

You got any Japanese, Japanese brands?

And do they run on gasoline or diesel?

They're all Oreck, O-R-E-C-K.

kid all right and do they use gasoline or what propane no they use electric yeah but how do you

create an electrical reaction i have no idea you just plug it in and pull the handle and the machine

goes round and round yeah but you got to plug it into an electrical reactor right an electrical

source sure nuclear would be better all right yeah but you can't get that you can't i can't get the

physical material do you have anything like that physical material no okay well you're not helping

with me i mean you're supposed i saw in the commercial you guys were you'll take the time

and explain everything how to how to work it and everything if i had it i would all right well so

you're saying if i go and buy this auric thing that i can call in you'll give me instructions

or you'll walk me through putting it together over the phone sure if you need if you need to do that

i'll call back i'll gladly tell you all right now i bought something there already can you help me

You put it together now?

You know, I really have a, let's see, one, two, three.

I got seven people that really need some help.

Yeah, but those assholes, you know, they're asshole people, you know?

Sir.

What?

I'm going to have to say goodbye.

No, I didn't say it to you, asshole.

I said to them, asshole.

I know, but we're not getting anywhere, and I don't know what your game is, but I'm really tired of it.

My game is a big vagina, and the asshole's really close to it.

Yeah.

Wow.

Good vibes.

Wasn't having that shit.

He visualized the big pussy and was like, oh my god.

Jesus.

Hey, I think the real Artie joined IRC.

Oh good, he's been texting me.

Is that him?

Well, he's been texting me the last few days.

Probably might be.

Florida IP.

That would be, is it a Comcast ID?

Yeah.

Does he know how to register?

Probably not.

For information on delivery, press 1.

For scheduled installation, press 2.

Commercial sales, press 3.

Appliances, press 4.

Lumber and building materials, press 5.

transferring to lumber and building materials please hold hey already if you can hear this

look in the help channel help channel found help i moved them there phones be ringing today hey

how you doing honey baby hey hey can you put me through to someone in lumber um because the phones

be ringing you know okay hold on one moment yeah anyway they do be ringing i think they all go to

to her first.

Hey, how you doing, boy?

What's up, boy?

How much is the wood machine there

that you got? How much is the what?

The main wood machines. What do you mean?

You know, the main wood machines that you can

use for constructing things

out of the wood machines.

Are you playing a joke on me, Mike? No, sir.

Yeah, it's Mike.

It's Mike. I was about to say, like,

I know you joke

with other people.

Yeah, I've been

been i've been drinking and drunk dialing oh yeah yeah and i'm sitting in my underwear now

and my computer chair and i'm just i'm gonna call you know okay i decided to call yeah and

my dick is poking out of my boxers oh good for you yeah hey um are you gonna tell anybody about

this no please don't all right and will you would you kiss me i just want to kiss you

you're so weird dude i just want to kiss you i want to kiss you all over your body

I want to lick all your dark places

stop it

how big is your sexual organs

oh my god

alright I gotta go dude

alright I'll talk to you later

that's twice

creating awkward situations

all night tonight

it helps if I drink water

if I take the bottle cap off the bottle

shall we call the same one

another department

Thank you for calling Lowe's.

Para instrucciones en español, marque 3.

For direct...

For information on delivery, press 1.

For scheduled installation, press 2.

Commercial sales, press 3.

Appliances, press 4.

Lumber transferring to appliances, please hold.

I'm in the toilet right now.

What?

It's probably getting around that someone's prank calling.

I've already talked to her a few times.

Last time I said, hey, how are you doing?

She's already like, uh-huh.

It's you.

The guy said vagina.

Pull a different one.

Fuck it.

There's plenty of lows.

I wonder if, like, you could call one department, figure out some names there, call another department, get them to, like, fight with each other.

I did that in an Albertson's Grocery Store show.

Yeah, we could do that.

s1 wants the department to call their friend be like yeah so-and-so in this department was talking

some shit about me i was a brat used to do that with walmart all the time but they're so fucking

big that they never knew each other it's crazy that's true like you got to find one of those

stores it's got like just the right number of people yeah a grocery store is just right now

everyone knows each other's business at a grocery store i worked in one for three years but it's

crazy to me having worked in a grocery store for three years and you know we're all the younger

younger guys all the younger crowd party together and you know what i mean like we all just talk

shit about each other all the time i know for a fact it'll work with recreation centers too

because they usually have a really tight-knit crew uh maybe movie theaters but they seem to

be like they don't care about their job at movie theater movie theaters also employ a lot of people

these days though oh really pirates all right anyway this should be a different lois did you

guys want to do um well thank you for calling loan general if you want to do it for information

Oh, sure. I don't know what I'm going to say to these guys, but I'll say something.

You don't do pranks? You do do pranks sometimes, though. I've heard you.

What's that?

You don't have to do a call if you don't want to.

No, it's been a while. I had a bad day. I want to talk to someone.

This is Leon Payne. How may I help you?

Hey, is this Payne?

yes um do you guys have like the uh unleaded or like the unuraniumized paint i mean most of our

paint needs all california selling standards for a fact whether it has that in it i don't know i'd

have to check because like the last time i came there i bought a can of paint from you guys and

it said something about cancer causing agents in the can and like that's not cool man like i don't

know i've got some like rash on my arm now you guys giving me cancer by selling products like

like that uh it shouldn't be to my knowledge sir the only reason they list the most of those is

because if anything comes into contact with anything that has cancer they're supposed to

list that as in the potential possibility but like you're selling cancer buckets in there like how

can you do that do you have any of like the non-cancer paints to my knowledge everything

we have should meet all california and health standards but it says right here this is found

to be a cancer cancer causing agent in california says it right on it's the it's like a purplish

blue paint well as i said if it comes into contact with anything that has the possibility of causing

they have to list it by california selling law well then like are you like just like trying to

spread cancer here are you some sick fuck like what's your problem man seriously selling fucking

cancer causing paint i'm gonna go to the hospital now you guys gonna pay for my hospital bill my

My cat scans.

Would you like to speak to my manager, sir?

Sure.

Just a moment.

Yeah, I didn't know exactly what I would say about paint.

Yeah, it's a weird one.

Still there.

That's a good twist.

Hello?

Oh, he's getting a manager.

What am I saying?

Should we hold or should we kill it?

Your call.

I killed it.

We have other departments to go to.

Thank you for calling.

For information on deliveries, press 1.

For scheduled installations, press 2.

Commercial set for Millwork

Transferring to lighting and electrical

Please hold

Electrical

Hey, how are you?

You're the electrical man?

Yeah

Alright, do you have the lights that go?

The lights that go?

Mm-hmm

What do you mean?

You hit the button and it goes, you know

Um, I don't know exactly what you're talking about

You don't know how they go?

No, I'm not so sure what you mean by they go, exactly

Well, the light comes on and they go

they go yeah i don't know how else i could say it i don't know uh you mean by like they turn on you

like touch the button and turns on they go no they of course they go on i mean it's a light

it'd be silly yeah be ignorant but then they go i lost you you don't know then you're just

ignorant i guess um do you have this one right here this light that i need what kind of light

is it uh this one right here i'm showing it to you showing me uh i'm confused what do you mean

you're showing me well i'm showing it to you on the camera phone uh this is just a regular

phone it's not a it's not a camera phone it's just a regular like phone yeah but you should

i mean all the phones come with the viewer now you know they all have a viewer no this is just

a regular regular phone you know like the ones that you hang up and stuff like that i don't get

it i don't get it what do you mean turn your viewer on and then you can see it if you put

put him on speakerphone will you can you see it then uh hold on no i don't see anything you still

don't see it yeah because this isn't this doesn't even have a camera whatsoever nowhere on it

what was that nowhere on it no okay yeah this doesn't have a camera it's just a regular

like a regular phone do you have snapchat um no i can't take out my phone sorry no but do you have

personal snapchat i'll send it to you well i mean yeah i have a personal yeah what is it and then

Then I'll send it to you.

It's Oscar underscore Tolo.

T-O-L-O?

T-O.

Yeah.

Okay.

Oscar O-S-C-A-R.

All right.

I'll Snapchat a picture of it.

Do you have Grindr or anything else like that?

No.

Okay.

All right.

I'll send it to you.

Do you have Twitter?

No, I don't have Twitter also.

You don't?

All right.

So you just want me to send it.

All right.

I'll Snapchat it and I'll call you back.

All right.

How long are you there until?

We close at, I believe, 10 today.

day all right 10 so you're there until 10 so all right not bad all right so i'll i'll get that to

you then all right all

Alright, I'm gonna Snapchat it now.

Alright, honey?

Okay.

Alright, I'll call you back after and then we can figure this out, okay?

Alright.

Alright, bye.

Later.

Whatever, go ahead and Snapchat him, guys.

I like that he looked.

He actually...

He actually looked.

What?

what already wants you to add him on skype i thought he was already oh i don't i think he

never got do you have him added i don't know his name he's saying oh shit let me see let me go to

my contacts you already got to find can you ask all right here we go i have an evil rd that never

i can resend contact requests there we go can you give him a heads up of what it is

sure you want me to pm it to him yeah just let him know what it is that i've sent him okay all

all right moving along here we go guys um do you have international at all yes i do so i'm just

curious about trying something um with indians if you tell them you're charging them under the

dowry act of 1961 they might freak out um if you know the history of that it's basically like

really fucked up law if some woman like accuses anyone of um like abusing or oppressing them

like she can have the she can have that person's whole family go to prison okay wait a minute all

right anyone can do this pretty much the dowry it's uh the dowry act in india of 1961 only only

women can do this or men and women can do this um pretty much women are the are the majority of the

cases i found but i'm pretty sure men can do it too it's crazy so based on the dowry system you

You can say that someone, quote-unquote, is oppressing you.

Oppressing or harassing or something like that, yeah.

I don't remember the exact wording.

Let me find it.

And it's actually enforced.

Yeah, like people have committed suicide just for being charged under this act.

Holy shit.

Okay.

That sounds like a good anti-trolling act they could do here in the United States.

All right, give me the number.

Artie's calling in.

Hey, Artie.

Artie.

Fuckers.

Hey, what's up, fuckers?

i'm fucking comatose uh why what why do you think you're high i don't know you're high you're drunk

i don't know i'm fucking stoned all right i don't know if you do heroin now and stuff i don't know

talk to you in so long god damn get a haircut too and see your video

i just got a haircut today all right did you send the number uh awesome is that the number

you posted, or is that something else?

That's just Guru Aid. That should be toll-free.

Okay.

I call Guru Aid all the time.

Artie, what have you been up to, man?

Just been playing poker, man.

Professional poker?

I was, but I got in with a lot of leeches.

Thank you.

Went broke.

Wow.

I was winning about

two or three grand a night, though.

Artie, I think you're going to have to cut your video

because it's fucking up my bandwidth.

That's right, man.

I just hit call.

End video.

Turn off your camera.

You can do that.

You have the ability.

See?

You're screwing it up.

I guess that's it.

All right.

Let me try Guru Aid again.

General Awesome, say something.

Hello, hello.

All right, good.

Okay.

So how does one go about doing professional poker?

Did you actually tour, like, city shit?

Well, I ended up at the World Series last year.

Wow.

Where was that?

Vegas.

Damn.

I'm about to get re-bankrolled, though.

I'm pretty excited.

Hello, Guru Raid.

Probably make it back to the World Series this year.

Guru Raid.

Guru Raid won't answer.

Oh, did we press one or two?

Well, this time it didn't say anything.

First time it got you.

Thanks for calling Guru Raid.

For technical issues.

Yeah, we got through.

We're back.

Okay.

So were you ever up at all?

How does that work?

Oh, yeah.

I started to play high stakes, and I was pulling like five grand a night for like a week.

But then I just went bad.

Thank you for calling Guru Aid, the leaders in independent tech support.

My name is Sneha from customer service.

How may I assist you today?

Yes, I'm calling to serve you with a notice under the Dowry Act of the 1961 or 62.

Are you familiar with this?

We are from Guru Aid.

We are leaders in independent tech support.

In India?

Yes.

I am charging you with the Indian Dowry Act of 1962.

Do you know what this is?

No, could you just go ahead and explain me?

Do you know what the Dowry Act of 1962 is?

Dollars you're talking about.

You do? I don't know what you're saying, honey.

Do you know what it is, the Dowry Act? Do you understand?

No, so could you just go ahead and explain me that?

Um, all right. Do you know what Dowry is?

Give me a moment.

The payment in cash or gifts given to a bridegroom?

okay but we are from guru aid okay we are leaders in independent tech support if anything is wrong

with your computer we can go ahead and fix it you are in india under section 406 of the dowry

act of 1961 we are charging you for and you will be punished for criminal breach of trust

your whole family is going to go to prison you know you know what happens when people get charged

under the dowry act section two of course did you say section four you charged her with i said

406 hello yeah you're this is section 406 punishment for criminal breach of trust

whoever commits i guess it's a prank no you committed this criminal breach of trust and

you shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for return which may extend to three

years or with fine or with both with both actually motherfucker ma'am you also abused his

daughter and for that

we're charging you under

section 498A as well

and this will

be involving unlawful

demands of property and

all the property of you and your family

members will be seized and you'll go to prison unless

you're going to come to court and fight this.

You and all your colleagues. I'm so sorry, I'm

disconnecting the call from my end. I guess

it's a prank call. It's not a prank call.

Thank you for calling Guru 8.

Have a wonderful day.

Bye-bye.

Take care.

Bye.

All right, we'll call back.

Talk to you soon.

You notice how she was a little worried there?

If you get one of the men, they will flip their shit.

Tabachi and I had them looking into their phones, flipping them around, looking for cameras and shit.

Otherwise, press 2.

Artie, these guys, they're scammer tech support guys.

Thank you for calling Groove Aid Leaders and Independent Technical Support.

My name is Rohit from Customer Service.

I'm your assistant today.

Yes, Robert, I'm charging you with Section 49A of the...

Hello?

Yes, hello.

Hello, can you hear me? Hello?

Yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me? I'm speaking clearly.

Yes, I can. Now...

Okay, I'm charging you with Section 498A and Section 304 of the Dowry Act of 1961.

So, what is my punishment?

You committed dowry death and you shall be punished with imprisonment

and I'm going to fuck your mom.

Your whole family's going to jail.

My mama.

Press 1. Otherwise, press 2.

By the way, anyone can call them with Skype since it's a toll-free number.

It's on their dime.

I said 1.

one damn it oh that's it subjecting a woman to cruelty that's the one

try one more time

Thank you for calling Guru Aid.

Protect our system.

There's a final.

George, do you want to talk to Bencho?

You haven't practiced in a while.

Did you have a posse with you, like an entourage?

Yeah.

I'm supposed to be a part of that posse, man.

What happened?

You will be next time.

Whatever.

There might be a moment's notice you have to fly to Vegas for a final table.

Thank you for calling Guru Aid.

Leaders in independent tech support.

Name is Gerald from Customer Service.

How may I help you?

Yeah, are you girl or boy?

Hello?

Are you girl or boy?

Boy, sir.

How may I help you?

Oh, you sound like a girl a little bit, though, you know?

Do people say that ever?

They say yes ma'am to you?

No.

No?

No.

Oh, okay.

How big are your sexual organs?

Sir, what's your name?

Oh, my name is Valente.

Raj Valente.

Oh, is it?

Yeah.

Sir, you're going to be charged under Section 498A of the Dowry Act

for subjecting a woman to cruelty.

One of your co-workers ratted you out.

How do you plead to these charges?

What do you do?

I am a criminal lawyer currently in India,

and you are being charged under the Dowry Act

for subjecting a woman to cruelty.

My client here, Raj, is not very happy.

You subjected his daughter to cruelty,

and the police are on their way.

How do you plead to these charges?

What's your name?

My name is Richard.

I am a criminal lawyer.

Richard?

Yes.

Can you hold the line, Richard?

I'll get back to you, sir.

Hurry up.

What's up, dick?

Did you go in a limo at all, Artie?

Yeah, bro, that's why I got picked up from the airport, dude.

Cuddles and shit?

No, I was popping molly.

Sucks you should have been popping like rosé and shit.

I did my fair share of drinking.

I was drunk like half the time.

How about this music, though?

I smoked weed the entire time, too.

Of course.

Do you think that affected your poker play?

Um, it calmed me down, but I've realized that's part of what made me go broke, smoking so much weed.

I was smoking, like, for an eight-hour session, I was smoking, like, five gram joints.

Me and my roommates were smoking about five ounces a week.

Damn, five ounces a week? How many roommates?

Me and two people.

Three people smoking five ounces a week.

I was smoking about two to three of that.

God damn.

Lots of blunts.

Sounds like it was fun.

I don't know if they're going to pick up.

Call again.

Is Pizza Hut Hawaii still open?

I love those kids.

Yeah, already we got a net one, man.

Thank you for calling Guru Aid.

For technical assistance, press 1.

You forgot about us.

Otherwise, press 2.

We're not cool anymore.

We're not your drug-using poker friends.

I'm so with Tasha.

Big Tasha.

I'm so with her.

Fucker.

Thank you for calling Guru Aid.

For technical assistance, press 1.

Welcome to Guru Aid.

Leaders in Independent Technical Support.

My name is Sunil from Customer Service.

How may I help you today?

Hi, Sunil.

Hello.

Hello, your name is Sunil.

I'm sorry?

Your name is Sunil?

I'm sorry, your line is cracking.

Can you be a bit slower and help me?

Your name is Sunil.

Yes, my name is Sunil.

How may I help you today?

Make computer go.

Do you have any issues with your computer?

Whether I would be willing to help you with a technician?

Yes.

What is the issue?

Are you facing, please?

it says really big

bhenchod

it has a picture

of your sister bending over

and it's flashing

it says bhenchod

bhenchod

like that and it has your sister

picture of your sister

well as this call

is not dealing anywhere I'll require you to go ahead and

discuss this call thank you for calling

have a good day

Bye-bye.

You chicken.

Chicken.

You chicken boy.

Chicken boy.

Yeah, they're really hit and miss.

You can get some guys that get really mad.

Others don't.

That's why I keep hitting them up.

He wasn't happy about it.

Technical assistance.

Press 1.

The supervisor must have been close by.

Otherwise, press 2.

Here we go.

Another one that won't go.

Thank you for calling Guru Aid.

For technical assistance, press 1.

Are you thinking about going back to school already, or fuck it?

otherwise press q come on damn it my guru

we had our fun but you know it won't go down anymore anything else already

too seriously like you you live like a balling poker player you were up i've been broke for

about two months now but i'm about to get back in it in about a week or so is your mom pissed

at you and all that shit oh yeah she's fucking pissed damn wow man so what happened with your

entourage they just kind of fall off like mike tyson's entourage like they were like using me

the whole time and they just dropped you like after you i dropped them you dropped them because

they were using you because i went broke wow cool did you go to colorado at all yeah like three

times in the past year nice once for the cannabis cup did you go to the cannabis cup or you just

Yeah, 420.

It was also Easter last year.

Alright.

I'm calling another Lowe's.

Because, fucking hell, do we have any other numbers?

Weren't you posting a number you said to me?

Out of somewhere?

Somewhere else?

No?

Maybe he's gone.

Who?

You.

Weren't you posting some other number for me also in the chat?

I just put one in right now, but I think it's too early for this one.

It's an angry British guy.

Eh, fuck it.

I don't want to be out super late tonight.

I got ankle surgery.

Yeah, ankle surgery.

Again, yeah, third one.

Damn, son.

No, I smoked weed with Peter Dante from the Adam Sandler movies.

Do you mean any celebrities?

Tommy Chong.

That was just at the cup.

Yeah.

That's like me going to a convention stand and I met Patrick Stewart.

I got a nice one, Tommy Chong.

Enigma, that is one fucked up number if that description is accurate.

That's accurate.

Oh, shit.

An Aryan Nation dog rapist?

Why not?

Yeah, Sloth called him a while ago.

A couple years ago.

All right, we'll try that then.

Once again, that's an Aryan Nation dog rapist.

Is this confirmed?

...to an automated voice messaging system.

Well, is he guilty?

Or would it...

Is he found guilty?

Yeah.

...is not available.

At the tone, please record your message.

If he was and the number was going to go up, I would have let him.

Wow, dog rapist.

Okay.

10.30, so it's not too late.

How much longer are we going to be on for?

I'm going to ask Dashie for a certain set of numbers.

Maybe another 45 minutes or so.

All right.

i have a number i saved that you called uh some restaurant this guy flipped out on you

all right all right i don't know the restaurant but i can look it up but here's the number

i have it it's labeled as indian guy yells out bastard

dude.

Ah, yeah. Hey, that

reminds me. Let me call that Andrew

24-hour one in Vegas.

Wow.

Are you getting it mailed to you now,

Artie, or what's going on?

Nah, fuck that shit. I thought you should've

just moved, dude. I'm going to

once I have enough money

to get a place out there.

I'll just straight up move to

one of the friendly states.

Right to Denver. Mountain views.

It's fucking beautiful out there.

All right.

Oh, where's this Indian restaurant?

I can't remember it now.

Indigo Lounge?

No.

Maybe.

Where'd you stay at in Vegas?

The Rio and the Palms.

That's bullshit.

Those are shitty ones.

Yeah, I know.

Well, the World Series was at the Rio, so.

Okay.

I guess that works.

All right.

Well, these are all different ones, but we'll call them.

Indian restaurants in Vegas.

Yay.

Dude, you haven't gone to a strip club until you've gone to one in Vegas, by the way.

Okay.

Hey, how are you?

Well, I want to make an order, but I don't want any bullshit, you know?

What do you mean you don't need bullshit?

Well, I just want a nice experience with you.

I don't want you to be mean and nasty and dirty.

Okay.

What the hell do you mean by bullshit?

Well, because I get a lot of bullshit sometimes from you people.

Okay.

But you seem like an okay boy, you know?

You're an okay boy.

So, come to the point.

What can I get you today?

One chicken tikka masala, medium spicy.

Okay.

One papadum.

Okay.

Okay, do you have any biryani?

Which one would you like?

Chicken?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

One bhenchod?

Okay.

One mar chod?

Okay.

Okay, and then I want your sister with her big fat ass in front of me.

When I come there to pick it up, I'm going to pork her and fuck her from behind while you watch.

Okay.

And you jack off while you watch.

Okay.

Okay, can you do that for me?

Sure.

Okay, all right, how much is that?

It's going to be video dollars for you.

How many?

Because I said fuck your mother and you're my son.

Ooh, he says he's your daddy.

Yeah, zero.

Who's trying to pick back up?

Shit.

Here's a different one.

I don't want any bullshit.

Enigma, that sounds awesome.

Yeah.

Also, he has the last three digits of 666.

That would be the number.

Thank you for calling Orange.

Good idea.

Yeah, hi.

I wanted to make an order, but I don't want any bullshit.

What are you looking for?

I don't want to deal with any fucking bullshit.

Shit, is there a man I can talk to?

That's a place in Orlando.

That's a place in Sanford.

I remember that.

I think we just posted.

That last one?

Yeah.

I don't know if it's open now.

It's probably too late.

What place?

It's a Chinese restaurant in Sanford.

I don't remember those areas now.

1792 in Lake Mary Boulevard,

where there used to be an Albertsons.

Wait a minute.

Is it like in Ichabod?

No, it's like a straight-up China walk kind of place.

You know what's really funny about that?

that's right around the corner from where the dude who was like part of my entourage lived

oh wow i was hanging out over there how's orlando doing what's up did you go on the train did you

ride the train i haven't really i've been to orlando like two three times in the past two

three years wow really you haven't done the sun rail you're right there you're near it

I got a car.

You're at the very top of it, though.

I'd ride that shit.

Yeah, there's actually the very, um...

Train station, I know.

Yeah.

Yeah, the Sunrail.

That's what it is.

The Sunrail.

Wow, I was free and shit.

I would have gotten high and gone on it when I was free.

I got some, uh...

Sorry for interrupting.

I got some fresh numbers from Dashie that are looking pretty ripe.

All right.

Good, I'll get to those.

But I want to try calling this Indian guy.

I think he yelled a hat at us.

Well, it wasn't us.

Mr. Sloth

excuse me

Mr. Sloth

and

Ice Goose

I think

or maybe it was

Meow

nope

I give

and we'll go to

these numbers

from Dashie

we have

5 Washington

sorry

S Washington

and Detroit

Detroit, yeah.

Did you get to go to Detroit already?

Nah.

You should have.

I spent about two months in Jersey slash New York City.

Wow, you never came to see me or nothing?

Did you go to, did you go, I was trying to get a hold of you to go to Lonesome Loser's wedding, man.

Yeah, I was going through a lot of shit around that time.

Yeah, I kept trying to get a hold of you, you kept ignoring me, I was very mad at you.

But then I ended up in the hospital anyway.

I had to miss it, it sucked.

Fucking leeches, man.

man. They control your life.

Seriously.

Say,

you would have let me be your entourage.

I would have been the head pasta guy.

No, the head entourage guy would probably be my brother.

Well, yeah.

Actually, that would have been best.

And then me as his enforcer.

You'd be Turtle.

No matter where we live.

I'd get Zola.

We must be ready all the time for the atomic bomb.

Zolar was the first time I spoke to him.

Zolar was the first...

Oh, yeah, when he was at my place.

That's right.

All right, Juaneta, Washington.

Ghetto numbers.

I gotta change the caller ID.

Is that a good answer to an 800 number?

No 805 number like I got.

There's some great names on this list.

Sharonda.

I'll talk to Sharonda.

Alright.

Alright, I've reset the call RD to something more purposeful.

I mean, no sense what I just said, right?

The fuck am I talking about?

Here's M. Washington.

I hope it's Moses.

Moses?

This just in

Take one on the chin

Hip-hop mischief