The Search For Foo

Puta Madre?

Could I get one of the foods, please?

My God, put me nothing else better to do!

Tu chinga puta verga bomba, peto madre?

I'm not playing no fucking games, man.

I, I fuck you, son of a bitch!

Stop making a stupid comment!

You're out of your crazy mind!

You ain't getting no goddamn dollars!

I'll fuck you, all my life long!

You're not perfect!

Why don't you piss off?

You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the event of the evening.

And now, the attendants and fans watching around the world.

Thank you for joining me, Carlito, on my return to the air after my last, again, another ankle surgery.

Yay! Surgery, yay!

Thank you, God, for making me get another surgery, making me get more anesthesia,

more antibiotics

that I probably don't need

but they just prescribe them

because they can get money

from the insurance company

let's hear it for the insurance company

whether or not I can have certain bandages

even though I need them

they dictate how many I can have

let's thank the orthopedic doctor

who's very eager to

write prescriptions for medicine

for painkillers

whenever you need them just call them and pick up the script system yeah a lot more to be thankful

for thankful i'm here for you guys to do some prank calls hopefully i'm a little rusty but i'll

try them nonetheless let's get right to it we're getting into the fucking four family yard sale

damn that's a big ass yard sale motherfucker right probably a lot of motherfucking shit there

excuse me this occurred friday and saturday i'm gonna call make an offer what they got left yeah

I bought it all, motherfucker.

Get rid of none of my contacts.

Make the call, motherfucker.

That's it.

Give me any shit, box office.

Check the color red, huh?

Hey, how you doing?

You got that, you had that yard sale.

Hello?

Hey, this is Billy.

I heard you got, you had that yard sale this weekend.

You had that yard sale.

You got anything left there?

I'll give you an offer on everything you got left.

You got any shit left?

You sell all?

No, I took it to the flea market and sold it today.

What else you got?

you got little bits of shit you want to get rid of still i'll buy them i'll scrap them uh what

kind of panties you got on i'll buy those if you got them on now they're nice and funky hey the

best thing you can do is shut the fuck up leave her the fuck alone motherfucker motherfucker you

no video tonight by the way no video yeah do you have any copper in your house i ain't got

shit that i'm gonna give you motherfucker go home uh well you know what else

Oh, he's a good old boy.

Come on, boy.

Out of here.

Next thing I want to hear is ch-ch-ch.

Mailbox belonging to.

Waiter.

Full and cannot accept new messages at this time.

Full of shit.

Hi.

It's full of shit, motherfucker.

One more try.

Last try.

Mailbox belonging to.

I got the fuck you button.

Waiter.

I'm out of here.

Ah.

Either that or they're calling the sheriff, as they say in this area.

I'm going to call the sheriff.

Wake up the sheriff.

Sheriff.

Sheriff Bob, we have a call from a civilian.

Yeah, what's going on?

He got a funny phone call about some shit they were selling.

Oh my God.

Wake up the rest of Alpha Squad and let's meet in the computer center and trace the call immediately.

All right.

That's how it goes.

Here's Milkman.

Let me get him on the fucking phone first.

We just started playing this song.

Hey, boy.

Oh, I'm on now.

Can you Skype in or can you only do this?

I thought you were going to call me, bitch.

What's the problem?

I'm waiting for you.

I never saw you pop up.

Are you in?

Are you up?

Oh, I thought you were going to call me on the phone and tell me when you're ready to...

Oh, well, yes.

I told you our time, silly boy.

We started about...

Get on Skype.

Hurry up.

We're playing your song.

I'm playing your song, motherfucker.

I'm playing your song.

No, I can't do it on the phone.

I don't have that kind of cell.

I'm sorry.

Get on Skype.

Hurry up.

Why are you still here?

Skype.

Get on Skype.

Hurry up.

telling you now we have to replay this song let me play the next song so we can come back and

play this we'll play a little bit of jazzy jazz all right so do y'all having a good night i hope

i hope you're all feeling fine another week is behind us another weekend we're all getting ready

packing our lunch for tomorrow right make sure uh finish your laundry for a week folded everything

hung everything maybe set aside your outfit for tomorrow yeah taco yeah man all right let's call

Call that place again.

Them people.

Hello?

Yes, hi.

I saw that you had a 10-family yard sale.

That's already over.

Yeah, well, I know that.

Let's not be ignorant.

But do you have anything, any crap left over?

I'll make you an offer on everything.

No, I don't have anything left over.

Wow.

Out of a whole 10, you sold every single thing?

You don't have any shit left?

No, they took them all home with them.

God damn.

All right.

Well, shit.

do you have any dirty underwear dirty panties maybe that i could buy i'll make you an offer on

that still waiting on milkman online let's give him a call ready or not here we come milkman

no don't call me milkman no milkman i call you you see hey milkman milkman milkman

milkman milkman yeah what's up man you can hear me yeah i can hear you oh cool okay ah oh hey we're

playing your song here we go starting it again i stopped playing it because you hadn't joined

so we're doing prank calls what's going on here i don't hear anything what do you mean you don't

hear anything you have an internet connection problem with us i'm in the lag then guys all

All right, come on out.

Yes, I'm in the lag zone.

It's okay, Milkman.

I'm going to exit the city here pretty soon.

All right, hang on, hang on.

Hang on.

You'll be okay in a second.

Don't go anywhere.

Hello?

Yeah.

Yeah, hey, boy.

I see I was talking to your old lady there.

I guess you had a yard sale, but you guys didn't have anything left over?

No shoes or nothing?

No, we're good.

Thank you, brother.

But listen, if your wife, I could all buy her dirty panties that she's wearing or has worn.

Why are you being tough on her?

I don't know.

Huh?

You'll get me started.

What's that?

Don't be silly.

Don't be silly, hi.

No, I do buy those.

I wouldn't be silly.

Well, does she make breast milk at all?

Don't be silly.

Oakman, are you muted or are you connecting?

I'm here.

Can you hear me?

Yeah, yeah.

You're good now.

Yeah.

Oh.

I think you can hear me.

Yeah, no, it's the internet connection problem for a little bit because you're driving, but

it clears up.

You know, if you lose me, if you can't...

It's going to be open in a minute.

All right.

You do that, buddy.

Yeah.

I'm coming out.

Yeah, I'm in the city, dude.

I'm going to be in the city in a minute, so I'll be able to get a little bit better signal.

Yeah, fuck it.

Fuck it.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

I'm going to keep calling people for you.

All right.

This person has seven acres of good pasture land to lease in a valley.

Yeah.

I don't know why I'm so excited about that.

but it's mostly cleared with an exception of some new growth on parts

that haven't been bailed in the past year.

Property is three-quarters fenced in barbed wire.

Would be great land for cattle or horses.

Land has water and a building that can be used for supplies, etc.

This is called Williams.

That's what it says, Williams.

Yo, so Bill.

Yo, Bill.

So Williams.

Williams, it says.

Williams.

That's just ignorant, man.

It's like when I tell people my name is Cross, like, the first or last name we need.

Like, I've changed my name legally to Cross.

That's it.

And it's actually the symbol, but you can call it Cross.

But if you write it out, it's supposed to be a cross.

I don't come along.

System 4-2-3-3-2.

I luck bar.

All right, listen.

We're not having any luck with the seven acres of pasture land.

Here's a 4.9.

All right, easy movement.

We got a 4.9 V8, 115,000 miles, all power ops.

The fuck is this?

Let's call and get this straightened out.

I don't know why they're yelling at me about numbers.

Dude, that's like a race car, man.

4.9, 4.9 V8.

5 liter

I don't know if it's a fucking

engine or the whole car

he doesn't give a make or model

it's a 4.9 V8

you don't need to know

all you need to know is a 4.9 V8

with 115,000 miles on it

it says leather and vinyl top

cold air, good firestone rubber

it's a brand

you got Chevy V8

I think it's like a Dodge Ram

probably, I bet you some shit

like a big Dodge

fucking vehicles man well no he says may consider trade for trucks so there you go

motherfucker it gets 20 plus miles per gallon i don't know i don't know we're not getting an

answer yeah sitting still we're not getting an answer so fuck them right fuck them in the ass

i already told sketch that's why i ain't answering people done called his fucking car man and they

I called him and said, what's this there, 20 a gallon?

20-plus.

He's being honest there.

He could be like, oh, you're about 25, 25.

Yeah, dude, it's the park, man.

You get 100 bottles a gallon, man.

Well, you know what?

He's probably saying 20-plus, and he's embellishing.

It might be like 15-plus.

All right, look.

Next to the Country Corner restaurant, someone has a minibike,

rototiller, tools, computer monitors, printers, cookbooks, pottery, toys,

and games and lots of miscellaneous things for sale this was a three uh three family yards held

on the second which was yesterday saturday here we are calling the next day and i'm trying to make

an offer because um the last yard sale that i was privy to was for an ex-girlfriend of mine and i

helped out with it um because we had we were pretty serious at the time and she was selling

some of her stuff so i was helping her out with that i remember she put me to work but i remember

I remember it was a Friday, Saturday, I think, and on Sunday, some guy called and said,

Hey, do you have anything left over?

And their girlfriend's dad said, Yeah.

And the guy came over, looked at it, and made an offer, and he took it all away.

Guys that actually went around and bought up the end of yard sales.

Yeah.

And they would make a huge yard sale or put them in their junk shop.

Yeah.

They'd go out and buy out the clothes out.

Like, next day, exactly what you're saying, man.

That's what they did.

Made their money.

Hello?

Yeah, hey, how you doing?

You had a yard sale there yesterday, three-family yard sale, motherfucker.

Hello?

Yeah.

You guys have anything left there maybe I can pick up?

I'll make you an offer on everything.

You got any crap left?

Nothing left.

I'll make you an offer.

I'll take it out on everything, you know, even if it's dirty.

Do you have any dirty underwear of yours that I can make a bottle for you?

Come on, man.

Let me hold it up.

We're going to make it into a turban, man.

You know, those A-Rab hats.

Pop that baby up on there.

Wrap around a couple.

Find a little brown spot there and blend right in.

I give him about a 20% chance of picking up the phones.

A 1 in 5 chance of picking up the phone here.

They're buying out of that fucking pair of dirty underwear.

It's a shit and skid marks in it.

Hell.

All right.

Stop yelling because he might pick up now.

Hello?

See, he picked up.

Hello?

Oh, that was a machine or not.

Coming up next, we've got a baby boy clothes size.

Are you working, by the way, Milkman?

What's up?

Are you working or are you going bowling?

no no no dude i'm i'm taking a break fuck around yeah nice nice what'd you eat today

you're covering your microphone somehow oh sorry i'm driving no i'm gonna be heading to carl's

junior i'm gonna get like a western uh bacon cheese hell of a deal bro hey will you will you

um ask for a papa people and see how they you know i've done this with you milkman calls me

me sometimes and i'll be in a drive-thru and he'll tell me like order a mcmaster said mash

and i'll be at mcdonald's like yeah can i get a mcmaster said they're like what's that

you remember that time when i ordered a mcmaster said they're like we don't know what it was a big

deal like they're they made a big deal like they called the manager like have you heard of this

item no we haven't they're like asked me at the window twice so like so what is it called like

it's a mcmaster said they're like no we don't got that in the menu yeah what is it like i said

I said, it's a chicken, fish, and burger on one.

He's like, no, we don't do that.

I mean, we could do that, but we don't got a name for that.

We just got a special order.

It's very funny black people.

Anyway, yeah, that was.

So, yeah, will you ask for something silly and funny?

Surf and turf.

What is it we're looking for, dude?

I don't give a fuck.

After I place my order, you'll probably spit in it.

Will you order what you want and say foo?

Like, just say you want a foo?

Oh, Jesus.

Come on.

Don't spit in my ear.

All right, I'll fucking ask for a food.

Yeah, well, we got to hear it.

Let me hear it.

I want to hear them say that.

Is it going to be a food burger?

Can I try a food burger?

Just ask for food.

Come on, don't be a man.

All right, yeah, I'm out on a commercial, and it's this special, man.

I kept seeing this advertisement about food.

They said come to Carl's Jr. to try it out, so that's what I'm going to use for my line here.

All right.

all right well please because listen you need to pull your weight around here um we all this is a

prank show i can piece of fucking bitch all right yeah you know you just how's that you can't just

be coasting all right stop all right calm down you you need to stop coasting on the show not

doing pranks and stuff so either gonna do prank calls or you're gonna order food and let us hear

Hopefully we can hear her reaction

on the machine, you know?

I mean, I didn't recon.

I even brought in the Turkish kitchen, man.

Yeah, you did, actually.

I know.

But it's been a while

and it's time for you to run to Caesar.

That's all I'm saying.

I see Carl's

jigger in sight right now.

Good. Alright, so I'll hold off on the prank call.

Is there a line in the drive-thru?

Yeah, I don't know yet.

I'm just about to pull up.

I'm like half a block to Signs right there in front of me.

Listen, first thing I need you to do is tell me if there's a line at the drive-thru,

how many cars, and we'll decide if we'll do a call or not.

Go ahead and do a call, let you know.

But if it looks like it's going to break, I'll have to have you cut the call or something.

All right.

It's not very good.

All right, well, you just let me know in a few minutes, seconds, minutes, whatever it is.

In the meantime, I'll direct everybody to go to PrankCallNation.com and MadHouseLive.com.

and you can also sponsor

Prank Call Nation. We have shows about every night

every week over at

Patreon. Patreon.com

slash Prank Call Nation.

As low as a dollar a month can help

us out. What's that, buddy?

You know how we love our madhouse, man.

Yeah. Always, always

glad to have people that want to show their

respect. Hey, okay, the line's only too

long. Okay, we'll chill. We'll talk.

We'll talk. We'll take a break.

We'll take a break and we'll talk.

What are you really planning to eat, Milkman?

man. What do you eat at Carl's? Well, I don't have Carl's Jr.

where I am, so peep me to this

Carl's Jr. menu. What's it like?

Oh, it's Hardee's.

It's Hardee's, right? Yeah, it's Hardee's

West, basically. Okay, so what do

you get? They've got all tons of great

shit on here, but what I'm going to get is a bacon

double

bacon western cheese. What the fuck?

It's basically a bacon cheeseburger

with a

charcoal patty, and

it's fucking great. And two for five,

dude, and they're like full size, man. They're bigger than

McDonald's, and they're bigger

than the

Burger King. But that's a lot of...

I don't know. What condiments are you going to get

on it? I'm just going to get two

of them with onion. Just onion?

And cheese. It comes with cheese, right?

Or add onion.

Or add onion. Alright, no lettuce or tomato?

Or add onion. No lettuce, tomato,

or ketchup? No.

Or add onion. That's all I go for, man.

I just want the onion. The burger itself should be

enough. Cheese and onion. That's what I do

on my McDonald's stuff, I'm always like,

I just want cheese and onion on it. Don't put nothing else

on that motherfucker. Give me cheese and onion

and whatever else. The bread and

the meat. I don't want that shit.

I don't need that lettuce, crispy

water shit. That doesn't do anything for

me except for give texture. It's alright.

It's alright to have a little salad on there, but

it doesn't come with it

and it alters your original taste of the formula.

That's why I don't do it. Yeah, but I

like a leaf. A nice salad

leaf in a burger. I don't want

the shredded shit. Forget it. It's just

this crunchy water i don't need that shit i hate it i don't ever get it at subway it's this filler

it fills up it makes it makes a mess you try to eat and the shit you want to eat keeps falling

out with the damn lettuce i think it's all over your clothes or all over the fucking table that

you're gonna fall fuck that lettuce in a sandwich no offense i eat salads i'm gonna eat a salad

tonight for dinner it's already prepared but to be putting it in a sandwich and all that no no no

No, thank you.

Nice.

So here's what's on the menu here, guys.

I can give you a little brief here.

El Diablo is the latest thing, dude.

And it looks bomb.

It's got jalapeno hot, like poppers in it.

Bacon.

And then it's got like jalapeno, sliced jalapenos on the bottom.

It's got pepper jack cheese on it.

And then a charbroil burr.

And this thing looks just maximum.

Then you got the superstar.

And this is a double with cheese, basically.

exactly it uh all the normal toppings you got lettuce uh tomato onion cheese the double western

bacon cheeseburger um i think that's what i'm getting right there all right so i'm looking

it up here it's the double western baker a double western burger man damn if i don't see this yeah

that's what i want i'm on their site they got one in five that's probably yes el diablo you're not

You're passing on the Diablo.

Yeah, dude, because you get a deal for two for five.

El Diablo is $7, man, just for the burger.

You can pick for a third of a pound or a half a pound for $8.43, just for the burger.

So is it the Mile High Bacon Cheeseburger?

Is that what it is?

It looks like it's a thick burger.

I think it is a thick burger.

I got one of them thick burgers, motherfuckers.

They're huge, dude.

Well, they're $6.

They got the original $6 thick burger.

Yeah, the $6 thick burger.

walk them out walk them on bacon okay here's my chair now oh fuck oh god all right i'm gonna have

to all right do it do it how to be a man hi yes uh can i get uh two of the uh uh bacon westerns

to order for a bacon western yeah that's a two for five one oh all right is that the two for

five one sir okay may i get that uh actually give me four of those please and to order for

Yes, four sandwiches, and add onion, please.

It comes with onion ring.

It comes with onion ring milk, man.

Aw, the call dropped.

He did that on purpose.

Ugh, I'm going to make the call drop on purpose.

I don't know how to give out.

Save the food.

He didn't want to do it.

I looked this sandwich up, and it is fucking...

It has two strips of bacon, melted American cheese,

cheese, two crispy onion rings, and tangy barbecue sauce on a seeded bun.

And yes, it is a charbroiled all-beef patty machine.

But it's a Western...

Yeah, I'd like to get an order of food, please.

You can't get the...

There's no way I can get a breast assist, a double...

The biscuit and gravy breast assist?

Oh, the breast assist is only for breast assist.

Oh, no breast assist.

Okay, just the order of food, then, and that should be it.

with the four burgers, please.

Just two for five,

just two order for two for five

red onion, right? Yeah, and

one order of food, please.

One order of food.

Wow, your screen is going crazy here.

There's something wrong with the screen. It's like

showing a computer screen up here.

Oh, there it is. Okay. What is your last order?

It's food.

You mean food? Huh? Food?

Food. It's a special you got.

I saw it on TV. They had an

advertisement on there. I don't know. That's why I thought I'd

tried they said when the fish got finished food i know it's like it wasn't it wasn't a fish it's

some kind of food i'd like like collars and sparkles on the commercial it's really cool

looking i didn't know i thought i'd try it but i'll order food this is awesome i think it like

had salsa or something with it i wasn't sure i'm sorry i i didn't catch the commercial it just kept

coming on i had the munchies it looked great man it's just food food food okay so okay okay one

One order of food and then four burgers, please.

Thank you.

All right.

So I appreciate it.

He's so dejected.

Did you hear me try to order the breast assist menu instead of breakfast?

Yeah, I got you back on the line for the breast assist.

He's like, well, that's so cool.

Okay.

I know you missed like five minutes of breast assist.

No, not that long.

And I ordered five minutes of breast assist, but I didn't realize.

No, I didn't miss that much.

No, I was trying to tell you.

They're going to be freaking out.

You ordered onion and he went away for a while.

It comes with onion rings on it already.

I thought maybe he was like,

I don't think it comes with onions.

Like he got a little confused, I think.

Yeah.

If you want, Milkman, just tell him.

It's nice.

He has to be better at life.

If you're getting embarrassed or getting anxiety over it,

just tell him to not worry about it and just give you the burgers, okay?

Just tell him that you don't need it and be nice.

You know what I mean?

I'll try it one more time.

It's really cool because these guys are really cool here.

They're like, like Mexicans, like, so if I'll be real nice, they'll actually try to help me.

So I'll, like, fool with them long enough until it looks frustrating.

It just came up, like, tell them I had a horsey cat, like a horse cat named horsey cat.

No, they'll probably think you're crazy.

I wish you were, you should video, we should do this with video.

I should, I should do this and have a video camera on me.

Well, that's the plan.

Okay, okay.

Okay, I'm getting ready to come to the window now.

All right.

You're ready to come to the window.

Milk band, 730 calories in your sandwich alone.

You're not getting fries or a drink?

No, no, I'm just getting that.

No soda.

Hi.

Yeah.

Okay, and could I get one of the foods, please?

Food?

Yeah, I saw it on commercial.

I don't know, it was like some kind of like, they had like these collards and shit.

It looked really good.

good i don't know it was like some kind of cheese dessert or uh i don't know what it was

they said special for come to call that's why i was trying to order

no it wasn't a burger man a lot of collars and shit you got something colorful okay okay never

mind i appreciate it man i don't know man i i was throwing as hell i don't know minus all

the wrong commercial sorry yes sir yes sir yes sir it looked good man is he angry it sounds like

he wants to beat you up yeah i have to laugh i have to laugh dude he's like laugh so hard man

he almost gave me back my money oh he's gonna fucking tell everyone these guys these white

guys saying fool i don't like what the fuck yo thank you appreciate it so you're having two of

these you're having 1460 calories 620 of those are from fat 68 grams of fat 150 milligrams of

I wish we had the Madhouse Mercedes, man, again.

150 milligrams of cholesterol, 3,000 milligrams of sodium.

Do you remember the time when we were doing it from L.A.?

Listen, Milkman, for a pre-diabetic, this has 148 grams of carbohydrates.

Thank you, sir.

Yeah.

Can I get a few extra napkins, please?

You need to be careful with this.

32 grams of sugar

of those carbohydrates are from sugar

have a good night

66 grams of protein that's good

but Jesus

I think he might be a little bit on to us dude

he's kind of laughing and looking at me dude

I think he might have got on a little bit

he can't hear me can he

yeah I hear you dude

I'm trying to talk to that right in front of him

no could he hear me was that on the speaker

that he could hear

no it was in my ear phone

but I kept going with the breast

and he kept saying breakfast

Breakfast, I don't know.

Do you see me?

Got it.

That's us for breakfast time.

Sorry.

It's the breakfasts, right?

Because, like, it's in Spanish.

They had a little accent so I could play the game, right?

Breakfasts, breakfasts, breakfasts.

All right, I'm going to do that.

I'm going to do one of those on video.

And I want to redo.

do i i was at a diner once and i was sitting there taking audio of uh of bat while baz was

prank calling and confusing them and asking them about glory holes like i got the audio of her and

she goes what's a glory hole i almost lost my shit if i should start i need to start taking

video of that you know with like a pen pen camera or something i wish i had some way to do video

dude if i figure it out man i'll do one of these man but you won't see me but you'll get to hear

all the stupidity and all the reactions yeah all right well good thanks milkman for doing that we

had fun see i told you yeah you could do it oh man anything for the madhouse man brother i love

you hermanito man all of our friends and treasured friends beloved friends from pcn

And Frank on Nation, Madhouse, Blythe, man, I love you all, man.

Thank you.

Listen, boy, what I'm concerned about is this is not the thing to be eating.

All right?

I mean, 3,000 milligrams of sodium, that's really hard on the kidneys.

You know better.

It's got like A1 sauce on it, man.

It's really good.

148, yeah.

That A1 sauce, huh?

It's their barbecue sauce.

You like that?

It's good, man.

man. Yeah, you like it.

Wow, man.

It's got a little bit of punch to it, man. That's just

what you need, man. A little of the red onion

just adds a little punch to it, and that's just what you need.

It adds ten more carbohydrates.

I know that.

To what you're eating today.

This cow

meat is good.

Yeah, well, you're getting six grams

of protein. Not bad, but not the way to be

getting your protein. It's really good, too, man.

The bacon's crunchy. Oh, Jesus Christ.

I would take off the bacon and try to eat it primal style,

as soon as I put it in between two pieces of lettuce.

I think they do that at Carl's Jr.

Or is it Sonic?

Yeah, do that.

You do way better.

You can pay them five bucks for a bacon cheeseburger

and tell them with no bread, no cheese.

Listen, when I go to Red Robin, the burger place,

my nephews, they love Red Robin.

They're six and eight, and my niece is two.

They love Red Robin.

They love burgers, they love the atmosphere, they love to run around and yell and shit.

They're a little bit of a fucker.

Well, listen, when I go, the burger I get, the way my wife gets it, the way I'm supposed to get it,

is you get it that primal style.

So instead of bun, they use two big lettuce leaf wraps and build a burger like that.

You also have the option to substitute for a turkey patty instead of beef.

And they also do veggie patty.

But the veggie patty actually is, the one they use really sucks.

And it's actually way saltier than the turkey patty.

So I would stick to, the turkey patty at least has some good flavor.

It doesn't, yeah, at least in my experience, the last time I tried the veggie burger patty that they have at Red Robin,

I wouldn't recommend it.

I would stick to turkey if you could, unless you're a really going vegan vegetarian.

but yeah dude that's that's a great that is expensive man that robin is high dollar man

like ten dollars a bird man but listen listen that's a high uh an ultra low a lowered carb

hamburger right there and it's still big and massive and juicy and delicious and then if you

want to cheat a little bit guess what they're going to bring out all the fries you can eat

you know what just fill up on some fries all right so you'll be bad with the fries

you know i think that's okay there you go at least it's get your grease content up man how

much percent grease is that for your daily carbohydrate requirement the french fries

remember you remember that prank call that i had for i'm like french fries french fries i don't

know if you remember that i kept calling red robin but i already like the effect man i kept

calling red robin about that one french fries you're keeping me from my french fries um hey

Hey, real quick, I failed to mention this.

There was breaking news about 30 minutes before the show started.

Two gunmen opened fire outside an anti-Islamic event in Garland, Texas.

There weren't many details.

I haven't refreshed this page yet.

But there were two gunmen who opened fires this evening outside.

It was like an anti-Islamic event.

It was called The Art of Muhammad and Cartoon Something.

Like, so basically, they were having an art show depicting Muhammad in cartoons and stuff like that.

And it was anti-Islam, you know what I mean?

Oh, so you mean the Arabs come shooting up?

Yeah.

Well, that's, no one knows who came shooting up.

I'm just saying, it was that there were two shooters.

Let me reload the page and see if there's been an update here.

The last I need, let me check CNN.

This happened in Garland, Texas again.

Yeah, this is right.

Yeah, it's actually CNN.

When I first saw this, it was still, yeah, it was still breaking.

Two people were shot by police outside an event billed as the Muhammad Art Exhibit and Cartoon Contest in Garland, Texas.

So there you go.

That's what happened.

Have you been hearing that shit's been going on in Baltimore?

Yeah, I've seen it, yeah.

What a bunch of fucking shit, dude.

They tore that kid's head off, man.

Garland, Texas, featuring cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad.

Details are sketchy right now, but apparently two people have been shot.

Joining me now on the phone, CNN producer Christopher Lett in Garland, Texas.

So, Christopher, what do you know at this time?

Well, yes, so far what's been told to me by police is that at least two suspects have been shot outside

of the Caldwell Center here in Garland.

Exactly what were they doing at the time?

We understand the SWAT team was called in?

Yes, so the SWAT team apparently were the ones who stopped these two suspects.

There are possible explosives at the scene.

There are bomb squads scouring the premise.

There are any possible ordnance in the area.

And very quickly, Christopher, what was this event?

It was an art expo and art contest seeing the Prophet Muhammad.

So various artists from around the country were represented today,

one of which I was able to talk to.

Okay, Christopher, we shall leave it there.

But the breaking news, two people shot at an exhibition of Muhammad cartoons.

Christopher, on the line there.

More details when we get them.

I'm Sean Bullers.

All right, there you go.

All right, that's what happened.

Wow.

That was as of an hour ago.

Yeah, man, so they found explosives and took you guys out?

Well, I'd say, if there's a reason, probably a good chance the A-Rabbs got a little bit hostile about that activity.

They didn't like the cartoon.

Yeah, that, yeah.

Yeah.

It's not down with stick man.

It ain't down with stick man, Muhammad, man.

Put a turbine on stick man.

Not acceptable.

Yeah.

You can't do a stick figure of Muhammad.

That can't be that big of a deal.

No turbine on a stick man.

If you do a stick man, all right, but no turbine.

I can tell you, look, here, back on February 17th, the...

Back on February 17th, there was a report out of this local area

that an anti-Islam group was booking the Garland ISD Arena

and the district cited non-discriminatory facilities policy.

So they were having trouble being able to book this event, apparently.

They were billed $10,000 to pay for 40 officers for security at the site,

as a matter of fact.

So they were paying for 40 off-duty police officers to be security at this site,

and this shit still happened that's insane but that's probably why the shit didn't get blown

up apparently i'm seeing you right well you know it could be the a-rabs but here's the worst part

of these fuckers hate them so bad they could have had their own fake shooting dude yeah i'm telling

you man those crazy motherfuckers down in texas don't put it past him man let's wait and see what

the fucking call is dude seriously man yeah it could be the a-rabs and it could be their own

boys man setting them up to make them look like a-rabs you see what i mean yeah

That's true.

Who knows?

That's what happened.

That's the latest.

And, well, Milkman, if you can monitor that there in the satellite room, I'd appreciate it.

That's what it takes to kill a man.

Go ahead and monitor.

Milkman will be monitoring that developing story in the satellite center.

Thank you.

Yeah, why did you yell?

You yelled like a madman.

I had to meet you.

You sent all the levels up until the red doing that.

Are you crazy?

Why'd you do that?

You're silly.

All right.

All right, so were we talking about tacos earlier?

No.

We were talking about hamburgers.

Let's call Pink Taco Mexican.

I have calories in this, and it was actually too low a level of salt that I should add salt to.

Dude, if you put salt on that fucking burger, I think you would die right there.

Fucking kidney failure.

Jesus.

I want to put extra salt on my burger.

Shit.

Hi, the Pink Taco.

This is Sierra speaking.

How may I help you?

you yeah how much salt you got in them tacos how much salt do we have how much salt goes in them

tacos i can ask the chef if you give me just one moment milkman getting salt sodium salt in them

burgers 3 000 milligrams of salt um we don't have any burgers yeah but i'm talking my my boy over

here is eating a hamburger from somewhere and he got 3 000 milligram of salt motherfucker so i'm

I'm like, I'm going to make sure I'm getting a lot of sodium in that shit.

If you give me one moment, I can ask the chef.

All right, honey baby.

Ask him how much sodium carbide they contain because we need to know for our dietary restrictions.

All right, give me just one moment.

I'm going to place you on hold.

Hurry up, I said.

Just how much sodium carbide they put in there.

Jesus Christ.

Sodium carbide.

What the fuck is that?

Listen, you need to be hydrating with water.

All right, you understand me?

You need to drink a lot of water tonight before you go to sleep.

I'm going to pee in the cup right now, dude.

I'm peeing in the cup right now.

I'm getting ready.

What did you get to drink with this?

I've got ice water and a thermos, man.

Okay.

All right.

Well, you need to drink that and have another thermos full tonight.

Because you're having 3,000 milligrams of sodium.

You know better than that.

Hi, guys.

Are you still there?

What do you mean, guys?

I was told there was somebody on the phone.

All right, honey baby.

I'm here.

Yes.

We actually don't add any salt to our tacos.

It's just whatever is already on the shelf.

Well, what's the sodium in it?

The sodium, it's not on the package.

You're supposed to have listed the sodium.

How much sodium carbide is in the food for your dietary restriction?

It needs to have down how much sodium carbide.

You need to find out.

Yeah, you got it somewhere there in the information in the office.

It's on the label of the food or on the menu, man.

Sodium?

How much sodium's on them?

Sodium carbide.

Sodium chloride.

Baby, I don't know.

I don't know how much sodium carbide's on our turkey.

Sodium chloride is salt.

We don't salt them.

We don't salt ours.

But it has natural salt in that motherfucker.

Restrictions.

My doctor told me not very much sodium carbide could cause a heart attack.

I have a million people in front of me.

You know, come on.

What the fuck?

You got to give me a chance, milkman.

Come on, man.

It's funny.

She's like, I don't know.

We don't know how much sodium carbide, honey.

What was after I called her honey, baby?

I'm playing stupid nice guy, but I'm still pressing the point.

What do you mean guys?

What?

What? Who says that to somebody?

What do you mean by guys, huh?

Jesus, what an asshole that guy is.

Kind of like Bob Horne Leghorn, but now in red.

What do you mean, guys?

All right, honey baby.

If she can call us guys, we can call her honey baby, right?

That's right.

Cho-cha. Cho-cha-chita.

Cho-cha-chita.

I have to fill up my thermos now, dude.

Man, my empty.

This is good, man.

That turkey is salty.

You need to fill that shit up, milkman.

We're calling World Famous Azusa Hookah Lounge.

You shouldn't have that much ice.

You should have a little colder than room temperature.

We are open every day from 5 to 10.

Fuck this place on answering.

We're calling sexy ladies of hookah instead.

I think you have an idea.

I'm joking.

I'm sure, though.

What do you say there?

You're calling Azusa.

How can I help you?

This is Azusa.

All right.

So I was, like, I tried to call a number for Azusa, and it came up.

It said that it had some rude, effeminate guy talking, like, don't call here.

So now I'm calling Sexy Ladies of Hookah.

Is that affiliated?

Sexy Ladies of Hookah.

I don't know anything by that name.

Do you have female weights?

Sexy Ladies of Hookah?

Yeah.

It says Sexy Ladies of Hookah, and it has your phone number.

Sexy Ladies of Hookah.

I've never heard of it.

Well, is there anything that I can help you with?

I'm a 60-man of hookah.

All right, honey baby.

I like the sounds of that.

I'm from out of state.

I'm from somewhere.

I'm actually, I live on Horse Machine Ranch Road.

It's a development out in Tennessee.

It's new.

Out there, this developer named Mike Tucker got a whole thing going on.

Brand new big city of the future they got.

All right.

All right, so I'm over here, and I need to understand the hookah, how it works.

um i come in right i come in i come in and then what do i i sit down yeah 20 bucks for the hookah

and i drink a minimum per person and i sit down yes sir you sit down you have a smoke and you

have a drink and take back and relax now is the hooker is that the like the pipes right and do i

you guys have like a charcoal uh charcoal yeah we use charcoal yeah and it has a flavors like

Like, what flavors do you got?

We have a large variety of flavors.

Do you have fu?

Fu?

Do you have fu?

No, I don't have that.

Fafafu?

Uh, what about fafafu?

Fafu?

Uh, no, don't know anything about that.

Uh, do you have the papepipo style?

Huca?

Papepipo?

No.

Do you have a computer there?

Do you have like an inventory computer machine?

Who keeps it?

Who keeps the inventory of what is there and what is not?

I'm not sure.

Is there anything that I can help you?

Do you have any questions about prices or anything?

Yeah, so what's the menu for the papepipo?

I'm not sure what that is.

Well, you put the stuff in the papepipo to burn it,

and you have the hoses in the mouth.

Yeah, I have a feeling that you're kind of bored

and you're kind of like playing a joke on us.

No, no, no.

So call back when you have some real questions.

No, listen, I work at the cigar shop.

Yeah, it was going.

He kind of sounded like Andy for a second there.

It was boring.

That's right.

Right there when he said, I have a feeling, he started sounding like Andy for a second.

I don't know what Andy sounds like anymore.

What are you like?

How is that old bastard Andy anyways?

Is he still out on the road?

He's all right.

He's fucking.

He's got a wife pregnant.

We were watching boxing last night.

That's pretty strong, dog.

We were watching boxing last night.

Hi, Redwood Smoke Shop.

Hey, bitch.

How you doing?

Yes.

Oh, Eddie, listen, do you have Davidoff there?

Yes.

Okay, can you tell me what kinds at all?

The cigarillos.

Yeah.

Okay, are you having a problem?

Hello?

I just told you.

You just have the cigarillo Davidoffs?

Yeah.

Listen, why would you tell me you have Davidoffs and all you have is the little packs of cigarillos?

I'm looking for, like, the actual cigars, you know, like the Millenniums and the No. 2s and stuff like that.

Why would you do that?

Nope.

We don't have them.

Okay, whatever.

Thank you for the misdirecting answer to get me the clickbait, so to say.

Do you have any Rocky Patels?

No, we are out.

Oh, you're disgusting.

You're disgusting.

You're breaking my balls.

You're killing me.

Do you have any Avos?

No, we are out.

You're out of Avos.

Do you just not want to look?

No, I'm telling you I know what we're out of when we're out.

So what do you have?

Just some bullshit H-Uppens?

What do you got?

Some Monte Cristo shit?

We do.

What else?

What is your preference?

I like a nice Robusto.

Okay, you can come to the shop and check out what we have.

I have customers in line right now.

Who, who, how many, how many?

Get out of here.

I'm sorry?

Get out of here, really?

You have customers in line right now and you can't help me?

Do you have La Ranja Reserva?

It's one of the Espinosa cigars.

Hold on.

Fuck.

Yeah, do you have La Flor Dominicanas?

Any La Flores?

No, we don't.

Jesus Christ.

You got La Buen Poetas?

La Buena Puerta.

Goodness me.

You don't have any La Buena?

Do you have any Cubana can?

Cubana can.

Let me check first.

Let's see.

Shit, man.

Fuck, man.

You have H. Utmans.

Do you have Puta Madres?

Puta Madres?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah?

How much did that cost?

Wouldn't it be easier if you come down and see what cigars you want?

Did you get it?

I'm not being rude or nothing.

Hey, honey, baby.

Did you pay for that at the same time that you paid for a social security card, passport, driver's license?

Is it like all in one big package?

Yeah.

Is that how you got here?

That's awesome.

Hey, man, could you hook me up with someone to get some papers?

Yeah, absolutely.

Come on by.

All right, Milkman.

I had Milkman on me.

Swisher Sweets.

He just has really bad cards.

I bet you got plenty of Swisher Sweets.

You don't have any real cigars in there.

I'm like really impressed with your selection of nothing.

Swisher Sweets?

Sure.

How about a whiteout?

Oh, we're sold out.

Do you have black and mild?

Yeah, I do.

And you're a cigar shop.

Thank you.

Guys, you guys really should stock up, man.

You could probably do a little more business.

Oh, black and mild.

We didn't want to do it.

You still have a good fuck.

You're a fucker.

Oh, go roll your blunt with your paper.

Jesus Christ.

Listen, the name of the place is like Cigar Shop and blah, blah, blah.

They got bullshit there.

Hey, they can roll a blunt, but they can't even fucking give you a cigar.

Listen, it's...

What's the one you get for your kitty?

Was it Robert Mondavi's, or what the hell is that for the cat, man?

That's a wine, dude.

I don't get that.

That's a wine.

What is it?

It's your cat, man.

What's the one you name your cat?

Robert Mondavi.

Milkman, calm down.

It's Dobby.

Hello, Milkman.

Milkman.

All right.

What?

Can you hear me?

Now I can.

You named the kitty a cigar, right?

No.

I named the cat the cat that was named by my wife after Robert Mondavi, which is a wine label.

Okay.

Oh, I thought it was a cigar.

Okay.

No, I thought it was a cigar.

I never knew that.

Okay.

Sorry.

I thought it was a cigar.

No.

So that place is called Milkman.

Get this High Roller Cigar Shop.

High Roller Cigar Smoke Shop.

They got a website.

Dude, they don't have shit.

This is what I'm talking about from saying an FBI guy, man.

This was really impressive, dude.

That's why I was like, these guys are really weak.

You know what I'm looking at?

And all they have are, they have a lot of bongs and water pipes.

Why are they calling themselves a cigar shop?

They can sell bongs and water pipes, dude.

Because if they sell Swisher Sweets and Blunt Wrappers, dude, what are they for?

Cigars.

Well, they have nice, they're showing nice cigar cutters and lighters.

But then they have water bongs, water pipes and bongs.

And then they have the shisha for the hookahs.

And they show hookahs also that they got with the pipes and everything.

So they're just a smoke shop.

They're like a more high-end smoke shop because they actually have some really good cigar cutters and shit.

And they've got, like, some cigars, but they're, like, black and mild.

They're paraphernalia, but they don't carry any product, dude.

So if it, like, dries out, they're not going to eat it.

So there's nothing there that's actually real.

It's all junk.

It's a junk shop.

She doesn't know anything about fucking cigars.

She's panicking, like, I don't know about cigars.

I got a lot of customers.

They all want blunts.

What do I do?

All right.

Well, let's continue on with the show, shall we?

It's like the mock FBI badge.

That was cute.

That was a cute touch there, man.

I was very impressed.

He's got an FBI badge.

About, like, three seconds.

Yeah, he got it.

He paid for it.

He got the upgrade to the normal fucking papers package for your fake identity in the United States.

Hey, shit, man, that's some pretty funny shit, man.

Let's go back to Tijuana, man.

Yeah, the base package is a driver's license, a social security card, and a passport.

And then from there, you can upgrade.

You can get FBI ID, police ID.

You know, you can get a different kind of ID if you want for an upgrade for a charge.

And you might as well get it at that time because you get a bonus.

That's right, that's the southern U.S. easy entry plan

Call up, call up

Who was it?

What was those guys?

The guards, what was those guys down there by the border?

We called them guys, the motherfuckers

Your mom?

Republican guards, Republican guards

Your mom? Republican guards?

Those guys, the white dudes who were down there

Trying to run off the Mexicans

Remember, we called up

It was John America, Johnny America

You called up for one of those calls

Yeah, but they were just like those border patrol guys.

I forget what they're called.

I thought they were like...

They have a name.

I forget what it is.

They

got a name for something I don't know

something something something Milkman

I hope everyone's chat room if you can let me know are you enjoying the show

please because I'll end it right here

if you're not enjoying it if you're not having a good time

I'll end it Milkman will go

eat the rest of his

deadly food

I might go back through the line and get dessert dude

I'm gonna eat salad

I'll go get my salad and I'll go watch Game of Thrones

You know, fuck you.

All right.

Let's continue on with the show, Milkman.

Let me go back to the map and see what I can find.

Is Lonesome around?

Lonesome might not be around.

No, Lonesome was coming around, and he was gone for surgery, and he hasn't been around, man.

Shit.

We need to get word to Lonesome that I'm back.

Maybe he'll come back next week.

In the meantime, let me see if I have any luck with the map.

I think Dwight has numbers he sent me.

I just haven't opened up the window yet.

I'll get to that in a second.

uh there's a 24 7 24 7 place called get naked get no get nailed 24 7 probably 24 7 nails place

let's see opening up the website get nailed 247.com uh yeah it looks like it's uh 24 hour

and on the strip in vegas a 24 hour uh nail salon i mean that's something man that city

never sleeps fucking new york city shit are you ready milkman you excited about that

Oh, yeah, baby.

Let's get my nails, man.

Can I get my toenails polished, too?

Oh, you've got horrendous toenails, man.

I've seen you.

You've got that yellow crust problem.

It's gross.

No, I don't.

That was my dad.

My dad, too, had that.

But you know those chicks that got the long, pointy, like sharp.

Yep.

Hello?

Yeah, hi.

Is this the nail place?

Yes, it is.

All right.

My buddy, Eli, he's on the phone.

He's in his 40s.

and he's he's got really bad like he's never had a padded petty and like he's got yellow nails and

stuff like that and lots of like uh corns you know stuff will you work with them and fix his feet

you know massage um as long as he doesn't have any like funguses or anything like you know that

we're gonna have to if they're really bad like you know he's gonna have to come in and we're

gonna have to look at them and then like you know if they'll work on it they will but if they see

something you know that needs to be seen by a podiatrist and they won't would they skip a toe

and just do the others no no the whole the whole foot is quarantined it's infected would you be

able to still do the masturbate the legs and heal and all that stuff well we don't really do that

if you're not getting a pedicure you know all right but there's a chance there's a chance

we'll have him come in we'll take a look at his nails and his balls and everything his legs

and everything okay oh shit what did i do i hung up on the wrong fucking person

hang on milkman hang on hang on i hit the wrong hang up button i hit the wrong hang up button

i like that it's like masturbating yeah she glossed over that i think she realized it

halfway to what she was saying after and then when the last thing i said just fucked it when

When you said the balls, man, that sealed the deal, man.

The balls.

Masturbate the legs and ankles.

That one got by.

That was really smooth.

I like that one.

I never thought of that.

That was beautiful, man.

That's another good one.

Masturbate the feet.

All right.

You said masturbate.

All right.

This is a place called The Joint.

Yeah.

Masturbate the feet.

Like massage the legs and feet.

That's what it sounds like.

Yeah.

That's the way it's said.

Because I'm not American.

I don't know.

It's my second language, you know.

Who masturbate the feet and legs?

You're right.

Is this the joint?

Yes.

I mean, this is the heart of the time.

Yes, I need...

Staying here, I need someone to masturbate the feet and legs and ankles.

Sorry?

I need somebody to masturbate the feet, legs, and ankles, please.

Like the spa has to masturbate the feet and ankles.

they did the master

that went too long

for you

try to

re-insert

the question

re-insert

the question

thank you for calling

the Hard Rock Hotel

and Casino

Las Vegas

all operators

are currently

assisting other guests

good afternoon

this is Hard Rock

hello

yes

Riaz here

I am calling

because I need

the spot

to get

masturbated

back in legs

and

And Ankle and Foot, hello.

Yeah.

Yeah, do you have the spa massage, the masturbate, where they masturbate the back, do the masturbate for the back?

It just confuses them every fucking time.

They're like, what?

Masturbate the back.

And then you went from massage to masturbate.

Skip the massage.

Mix it in with masturbate.

The spa, masturbate.

I'll say massage at first to get in, right?

And then I'll start saying, you know, and do you masturbate the legs and the ankle?

And if they say something, they're like, no, no, because I'm sorry.

I'm not from here.

Wait, I'm from here, my name's Riyaz.

I'm Persian.

I was going to say I'm Persian.

Not Iranian or anything.

I was going to say I'm Persian.

Isn't you like Cheech and Chong, man?

The Corsican brothers, you know, you look like one of those brothers.

I can just imagine you like talking, man, looking like that dude.

I'm from Prussia.

I'm Prussian.

What?

No.

No, I like Persian.

Persian is better.

Right now when Cheech is kind of like losing his hair and he kind of looks old, man.

But he talks real funny and kind of wants like Arabic kind of like that.

Dude, Cheech, yeah, he balded, but he's actually really funny.

His shit's so funny still, man.

Pick his shit online.

I'm happy that he kind of made up with Tommy Chong, too, and all of his stuff on record, man.

I'm happy that he made up with Chong, with Tommy Chong, you know, and they do shit together now.

It's awesome.

It's really cool.

It's like they're passing on to the next generation.

Your generation, Milkman, passing the torch to mine and the ones below me.

Over 20, baby.

Yeah.

You can hit from the bongs.

Pick it, pat it, come along.

All right, let's still make it marijuana show, all right?

It's not necessary.

All right, let's try to get to the spa and then ask about masturbating the bath.

Let's see if the Hard Rock, I'm presuming they're, shit's 24 hours.

The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, that's where Howard Stern would do it.

I would like to speak to the spa machine.

My plush.

Come to your room and do them in your room.

You don't have to go down to them.

She said, my plush, my plush, my plush, my plush.

You're calling a LaCroix spa?

Yes, hello.

How many is it to you?

It's Riaz.

What was that?

Riaz.

The name is Riaz.

My name is Rachel.

Hello.

I'm calling to make an appointment here in a hotel.

And I need to have my massage.

I have a 24-hour flight here to Las Vegas, okay?

Oh, okay.

And then my back, it hurts from the airplane, my gluteal muscle, my sciatic nerve, you know, my back, my rotator cuff, it hurts really bad.

Oh, my God.

My ankle, my left ankle hurts so much.

It's the ankle is fused.

they got bitten half by a bear when i was hiking hello yes here we go um oh where we go what you

mean here we go were you wanting to book for something tomorrow well what service is there

for massage uh we have light to medium pressure which is our classic swedish massage and then we

have a deep tissue okay and do they um massage because i need specific i need them to masturbate

the legs the ankle the foot the back shoulder area so for this one we can do the all about me

this one's more customizable for you but it's still full about so that they they will masturbate

the correct places on the body in order to release the toxins and the pressure no sir we do professional

massages here no no i don't mean like masturbate like touching but it's because my line you know

No, I'm not from here.

So the back, you know.

For this one, it would be definitely professional massages,

but they would be a full body massage,

and they work on specific muscle groups you're looking for.

Yeah, no, I don't need to have touch my hum, you know,

nothing to touch my private parts, you know.

Nothing like that.

I'm not like that.

It's like, it's just professional.

I couldn't take it anymore.

You're going to tell me some Arabic prince ain't going to go in there

and offer $20,000

and get a fucking blowjob.

They wouldn't do it, the whore.

Bullshit.

I don't care how professional I are.

The bitch is doing it.

Check this with the skid mark turbine.

I do the master pay the legs, please, ma'am.

Speaking about skid marks,

thanks, Neon, for a great show,

for my show,

great pre-show to the Madhouse show.

Bitch

Let's do the next call

Hard Rock Casino

Let's talk to the pit boss

See if we can get through to him

I'm just going to make up a game

You know when you take the ball

Yeah I need to talk to the pit boss

Pit boss

I'll give my pleasure one more.

Oh, fucker.

This is the Hedrock Hotel.

This we name it.

Hello.

This is the Hedrock.

Yeah, baby bump.

Hello.

What?

Whispering gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

You have a chance.

Dude, I think I have a suspicion something's up tonight.

The phone's ringing a lot.

Yes, this is a totally different person.

I need to speak with the pit boss, please.

One moment, please.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Yeah, we should do an in the elevator prank.

I'd love that.

We'll do that later.

She was listening to Cunt the Whore.

We'll have to let that casino sit for a while.

Here, look, man, look.

I found a place you're going to love.

I'm not going to tell you what it is.

let's see if they answer and you'll understand why it's going to be the place where you would

love to eat every day we're calling foo this is morgan how may i assist you yes what is the name

of this establishment foo foo restaurant foo yes okay uh milkman you understand why now i'm sorry

what anyway um i'd like to make an order okay for pickup yeah okay what can i get for you yes one

I'm sorry, what?

One what?

That's the name of our restaurant.

Yeah, but I'm trying to order one phu.

One phu.

You have phu?

No, the pho.

Phu.

P-H-O.

Phu.

You're going to have to describe it to me.

Phu.

It has heat.

It's made with heat.

It has the part that comes down like...

Like that.

It goes...

like that yeah that's that's what it is it goes

so i thought you liked that since you were just going through that that place is called food

and you order food and they don't know what they they ask you to repeat it that's the irony of the

The whole call.

Who?

You say, you go, what?

You say food, you go, huh?

And then you say food, and they go, huh?

Home was once an empty vacuum that's filled now with my side.

What's the name?

Is there any determination how they came up with the name or what it means or what it's referring to or what?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Webster.

Looked it up, like, what's the name of the straw, the history of the straw?

No.

The history of it?

I don't know, look, here's another spot, Milkman

We're going to call about masturbating in the back

Let's see how far we can go with this one, yeah?

Yeah

Bitch, motherfucker

Oh, man

Fuck hours

They are closed

Yes, the man complains

there's a nightclub no i don't feel like that let's see let's see let's see this is a big

fucking complex this fucking her and what is it no tattoo no 35 steaks and martinis let's see if

that place is open yeah 35 steaks excited about that keep it going 35 steaks and martinis this

is alyssa how may i assist you yeah hey how you doing i'm sorry what was that yeah good how are

are you doing yeah i was calling as they like to make reservations but um i'm actually going to be

my wife is here with me we're from out of town uh we're from upstate new york and i'm going to be

letting her know that i filed for divorce and i've been cheating on her with her sister for the last

two years um so she's probably gonna get really upset during this dinner now and the reason i'm

doing it i'm asking to do it here is because i wanted to be done in a public setting so that if

she goes violent like she does sometimes that there's people there you know who are watching

i like to make it make it in a nice public place with lots of people you know um okay would you be

able to accommodate just a meal but um you know i'm going to be telling her some really bad news

and she has a history of getting violent with me when something happens like that you know

I mean, we could accommodate two.

First of all, do you have nice, strong men?

Maybe it could be my server that night.

It'd be like a bodyguard almost, like a secret undercover bodyguard.

No, we don't actually.

You don't have any?

We don't have bodyguards.

No, no, but do you have like a server who's like a man, like a bigger, stronger, more imposing man, you know, just in case?

I mean, I guess all of our servers are somewhat strong.

wrong okay because uh she's like uh just make sure you put down mail server there for me if

you could accommodate that for me okay um and while we're on accommodations now i would like

to make sure uh because this has been a problem in the past if we could make sure that with my

steak and anything she gets that we not have any steak knives actually uh served on the table

because i mean she already once put a steak knife through my shoulder blade and it messed up

it tore my rotator cuff you know and i had surgery and everything after we made up and all that um

i just want to make sure maybe you guys can refrain on bringing out the steak knives and if

she asked maybe she might ask for one because she's an asshole like that we can maybe say that

That, no, we're out of steak knives right now.

Yeah, I'm sure we can figure out something.

Oh, no steak knives.

Now, also, do you have a coffee service there that you do?

Coffee, hot tea?

Hot coffee, hot tea?

No, we don't.

Do you offer it at all after a meal?

Yes, we do.

Now, here's the problem now.

Listen, honey, I am planning on telling her at the end of the meal about the shocker news.

um so what i'd be most concerned with at that point is her actually uh throwing hot coffee or

hot tea in my face you know or using mine uh to throw into my face or body and could cause you

know second degree burns and such she's been known to do that you know i was in bed once she

got mad at me and threw a hot coffee water on me and it scalded my neck pretty i got a first degree

great burns i was a miracle that most of the water done landed on the you know landed on the bed you

know on the pillow instead of my neck and face and balls so can we not offer at the end you know

just please don't say you know anyone like coffee or tea and if she happens to ask for it maybe just

say that we're sorry we're out of coffee and tea just make sure that it's not offered there okay

Okay. Would you like to make a reservation?

Yeah, yeah. We could do that for tomorrow.

Let's say I think a good time I'd be around for 7 p.m. maybe, you know.

For two?

Yeah. Now, do you have hot soup on your menu?

Yeah, we'll be sure to not serve anything hot.

No, no hot soup. No, no knives, no hot soup.

Because last time I told them...

Okay, can I have a last name for your reservation?

Yeah, it's Cross, C-R-O-S-S.

First thing?

Aculo, A-C-U-L-O.

Okay, you're all set for tomorrow at 7.

And I got the special deal, right?

Mail server, no nod, and nothing to hop.

Yes.

And she's probably going to tip over a table.

Are your tables bolted to the ground, or will they move?

They will move.

Yeah, just, I mean, I'll do everything I can.

But she's been known to tip over the whole table, you know.

So I would recommend maybe if just for us you could do plastic instead of any.

Just say, I'm sorry, we're out of, you know, dinner, formal dinner chinaware.

Okay, yes, sir.

We'll be sure to accommodate all of this stuff.

Can I please put you on a brief hold?

Yeah, because if you can use plastic paper plates, you know, because she will go.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine.

We don't want nothing to break, and just say, we're so very sorry, we'll give you a free meal.

Okay.

All right.

All right, so you're all set.

And I'll take care of all the damage, I mean, because if she, do you have stuff, probably stuff on your wall,

she'll rip it off and throw it at me.

She'll choke me, she took me captive once.

All right, you're all set, sir.

All right, honey baby, all right.

Oh, yeah.

All right, well, all right, motherfucker.

All right, fine, I guess let her go, let her die.

What the fuck?

Dude, my Android locked up on this thing, man.

I know.

But I got you back soon as I saw you calling my account.

Thank you.

Don't worry, cool.

Topian, Topian.

Let's see.

Moving around here in this motherfucker.

Hey, destination DXL, man.

It's where I get all my clothes.

What's up?

Formerly known as the big man shop.

Later on known as casual mail, right?

Big and tall.

Back in the day.

That's DXL.

That's a good place, man.

The shop, dude.

D-X-L, motherfucker.

From what 70s show?

This is from a movie called Harlem Clevenant.

No, that's the name of the song.

I'm not sure what movie it's from, but it's from probably like a black exploitation movie.

It's by Bobby Womack.

It's a Bobby Womack song.

Original.

I ain't got that shit.

Oh, it's from the movie Across.

Listen, it's from the crime drama film known as Across 110th Street, which came out in 1972.

Did I call it right, baby?

Did I call it right?

Yep.

This, of course, is...

All my dreams...

No rhyme.

War.

Hey, man, I should still start with that one.

Yeah, motherfucker?

It's a little higher.

All right.

The film is set in Harlem, of which 110th Street is an informal boundary line.

By the book, African-American Lieutenant William Pope has to work with crude racist but streetwise Italian-American Captain Frank Mattelli in the NYPD's 27th Precinct.

They are looking for three black men who slaughtered seven men, three black gangsters, and two Italian gangsters, as well as two patrol officers in the robbery of $300,000 from a mafia-owned Harlem policy bank.

Damn.

a lot mafia lieutenant nick de salvio and his two henchmen are also after the hoods

in one of many violent scenes de salvio finds getaway driver henry j jackson and brutalizes

him in a harlem whorehouse that's the whorehouse to go to man get some dark sugar dark chocolate

right milkman yeah brown sugar chocolate so good it's brown sugar on that stick boy

All right, so we determined that the Fat Man store is closed.

Let's keep looking and see what else we can call.

Get back on the strip machine.

See, this is the airport area.

I don't think they're...

Is there anything going on near the airport?

Probably not.

It's too loud.

All right, here's the Knight's Hotel.

Let's see if we can get into a room, motherfucker.

Sloth style.

Please leave your message after the tone.

How inaccurate, Google Maps.

How inaccurate of you.

Disgusting.

Disgusting machine.

Let's see.

Auto sales.

There's a Best Western.

We'll try that.

I already got an idea.

Title of the show, The Search for Foo.

Oh, shit.

The Search for Foo.

I can't believe.

That was random, dude.

I did not even look for foo.

That was like on the map.

I said, I got to call it.

That is a big...

After you had done that.

That's not fun, really.

Yeah.

This place hung up on me.

Motherfucker.

Best Western, my ass.

here's an am pm station let me ask if they have food food yeah i could use some food and uh

cigarettes and spam i'm gonna be right hey motherfucker how you doing uh good how are you

i'm all right motherfucker you got cigarettes right you sell cigarettes here you sell cigarettes

in this state in the gas station motherfucker oh okay all right you got food food food you have

food you don't have a food oh you have ban bhenchod do you have ban do you have bhenchod

But no, we don't have it.

Oh, no?

Deja puta madre?

La, la, la.

Ah, no.

Tu puta madre gorda puta cabrón.

La culo de tu padre.

Tu chingada puta.

La concha de tu madre.

Se lo meto.

Oh, shit, man.

My people, my people hate me, curse me.

Tell me that's not.

That definitely is Mexican there, man, Varga.

Varga.

Yes, my name is Varga.

I mean, I mean, Vega.

Virga.

I wear a blue hat.

It's round.

No,

two mother.

Dang.

He was waiting on you,

man.

Holy shit.

You can do five at home.

Click.

Five at home.

Click.

We got to save that one for one of our new,

our new promo.

That's a good one.

I gotta give him a high five

on the spirit man

he definitely cheered me up

I like him

here's a 7

he can't ride it in full swing

you let it run for a while

he just basically said

fuck your mom already

Yeah, I knew, but it's fantastic to see.

So fuck your mom already, Holmes.

Quick, quick call-ins.

Fuck your mom, Lewis.

Great song.

Feeling it.

The answer here, obviously, duh, no offense.

Why do I keep it ringing?

I don't know.

7-Eleven, piece of shit, motherfucking bitch.

In about 10 minutes, we'll be taking a break.

The break will be approximately, let's see how long the break is.

Maybe like 6-7 minutes.

um but after that then we'll uh have some guests on i guess i know dwight's out there he just got

me a bunch of numbers we'll use that when he gets gets here i know neon was talking about joining

milkman do you have to go back to work are you off or what are you gonna do yeah i gotta have

to work a little bit more man while you guys take kick the bank gangbang to the next level man

and then i'll go out knock out a little bit man and then maybe i can join at the end or something

bro you want to wait for a few more minutes or you want to go now you need to go now no i

I mean, I can hang up for a couple more minutes, man, but once you guys, you know, once you

guys go on the break, I'll just jump out, man, and go finish work.

Finish your, uh...

Give me a holler, and a little bit, yeah, towards the end there, man, and then, like,

you know, and I'll wrap it up, man.

All right, let's try to do one or two more calls, and we'll take a break.

Nope, nope.

No hamper, no hamper.

Here's an Indian restaurant.

Supposedly, they're open still.

I don't know.

It says they're open until 1030 Nevada time, which would mean they should still be open

for at least another hour.

Very vague and sounding music, isn't it?

Yeah.

I'd like to make an order, please.

Yes, I'd like to make an order, please, for pickup.

Sure.

All right.

One chicken tandoori, medium spicy.

That comes with rice?

It does not come with rice.

Oh, then one order of pilau rice.

One phoo.

Phoo?

Phoo.

Do you have phoo?

Phoo?

Phoo.

um do you have

bancho

no

that new accent

was working man

yes

um I was trying

to see if you had

that on the menu

bancho

I guess she knows

what it means too

cool

wow

oh shit damn

I guess you gotta

go check real quick

okay

here's the CVS

it's called the CVS

see what's going on

the CVS

I'm sure they have

an automated system

at the beginning

that's gonna be

a big pain in the ass

let's try to get

through that real quick

yes

calling CVS pharmacy

Yeah, I miss you.

The pharmacy is currently closed.

To refill a prescription, press 1.

Prescribers, press 2.

Pharmacy, press 3.

What the fuck was the first message?

I can't hear her.

See, I don't know what it said.

To refill a prescription, press 1.

Prescribers, press 2.

Pharmacy, press 3.

Non-pharmacy calls, press 4.

For assistance, press star.

Star.

Bar.

Damn it.

To check if your refill is ready for pickup...

Oh, shut up.

No, shut up.

This is not a valid command.

I don't care.

To check if your refill is...

Give me a order.

This is not a valid command.

Three.

To check if your refill is...

All right, I'll hang up and dial four.

And when I looked at you, you...

Thank you for calling CBS Pharmacy, located at...

Photo, press one.

General store questions, press two.

For our...

Please hold while we transfer your call.

Hey, Boa, how you doing?

All right.

I need to know if you guys have a fool.

We have what?

Fool, fool, fool, fool.

I don't know what this is.

Do you have an ethnic hair care section there?

Yes, we do.

Yeah, it gets rid of the nubs.

It's called fool, fool.

I'll check.

Hold on a second.

Okay.

Look, man, it's a fool night all because you were good enough to go and order it.

did they give you looks when you got your food oh you said yeah the guy was trying not to laugh

right yeah they were laughing they were laughing they actually walked in the back and i think he

laughed real hard but he's trying to ask a question one of the girls they said we do not

carry that brand you don't have products but we don't care for for for for for for for you don't

fuck don't have it hang on that's fucking

whatever okay um let me look at this mini golf they're open until midnight let's call them

fucker

hey my name is full full full full full what was your name

again fool okay okay i'm looking to see about making reservations for some fool for some what

fool fool golf yeah okay and are you trying to do a party or just golf a big party for everyone

play fool we play fool fool to play to play pool no fool fool i'm sorry i'm just having a difficult

time to hear i was uh shut up please i was there a few uh like a few weeks ago that you had that

kiss thing going on yeah oh yeah it was great so i wanted to come with my friends we're gonna go

we're gonna eat um we're gonna have marijuana brownies and then come in and play we're gonna

do full you know play full play some full you're saying golf correct yeah full full okay because

Because that's all I was trying to make sure.

The phone kept cutting out.

We're going to go full.

Full.

So what's the rate for the full?

18 holes for all of a full, one round of full.

Okay.

If you give me one moment, I'll put you on hold to get that set up so you can have a party reservation because that's what you wanted, correct?

Yeah, go touch it.

Yeah, go ahead.

Okay.

Touch it.

Full, full.

This is a bunch of full right here.

Definitely time for breakfast.

I want to tear into that salad, motherfucker, during the break.

Got a salad in the fridge waiting for me.

Got it from Applebee's machine.

Yeah.

I got some steamed rice I'm going to put in it, too.

Sticky rice.

I made some sticky rice.

Chia seeds.

Yeah, you know what?

I'll add some chia seeds.

I love the texture chia seeds add to a salad.

It makes it crunchy, the whole thing.

You put cheese-its on your salad?

Chia seeds.

What's that?

Source of iron.

It's like these little seeds that you can sprinkle on your salad or your food and it adds iron and fiber to it.

Hi, thank you for holding. This is Teresa. How can I help you?

I was talking to the woman and she was going to find out for me.

I'm sorry?

I don't know why you're on the phone putting on airs with me.

I was talking to another young lady who had the information of what was going on and was going to help me.

I understand. She actually said that she couldn't understand what you were asking about.

She knew. I asked her, and she agreed that she knew what I was talking about.

I was in there a few weeks ago for this KISS event, I guess.

KISS, the rock and roll, you know, the Satanists.

Hello.

I had a great time with a friend of mine there,

and now I want to come with my friends for a party that we're going to have,

a party day, party weekend.

I'm trying to make reservations there.

We're going to play some Foo for the four of us for one round of Foo.

Around a pool.

Fool. Fool.

You're talking about the 18 holes for four people?

Fool. 18. Fool. Of. Fool.

Yes. Fool.

Fool. Fool. Fool.

18 holes for four people.

No. Fool. Fool. You know? You understand? Fool.

No, I'm not understanding you.

Is there a man there I could explain it to?

No, there isn't.

Shh. That's a problem. That's a problem.

Well, if you like, you can always call back in the afternoon when our party coordinator is actually here.

Well, can I try one more time with you?

Sure.

Full?

No, I'm not understanding.

You stupid.

Yes, I do apologize.

You stupid asshole, you.

Yep, well, unfortunately, a party coordinator's not here,

so she's not going to be able to help you until the morning.

If you would like to call back, you can.

I bet you if the party was about sucking dicks, you'd be all about it, you know?

Oh, yeah, right here.

Sure.

Best place to suck a dick, a mean dick.

And you're like, uh, uh.

You do the sign with your hand and your mouth.

So you have a great day, sir.

Wow.

Got you back, Milkman.

I catch your number.

Hi.

Yeah.

How about that break, Milkman?

How about it?

What do you say there, buddy?

Big guy?

Big hawk?

All right.

All right, man.

All right.

I'm going to take that break.

When we come back, I got a ton of numbers from Dwight.

Yeah.

You're going to have to get back to work, I guess.

Anyway.

What?

What'd you say?

What?

I said give me a holler then later.

Okay.

Towards the end.

and I'll jump you towards the end

I'm going to go work

go make that money baby

go make that money for daddy

see you later

if you crash

call me on the phone

and I'll jump you on the side

alright alright boy

alright

we got it we got it

see you later

bye

that's milk boy

alright

so when we come back

we're going to have some people

practicing with us

we might hit up Las Vegas

a little bit more

who knows

why not

it's a great place

great place to be

everything's forgiven

Las Vegas

because that's their motto.

Unless you're O.J. Simpson.

We got him.

We got the boy.

All right, I'll be right back.

Thank you.

We're trying to find out.

Okay.

You're listening to Madhouse Live

on the largest prank call station in the nation.

Prank call nation.

Madhouse Radio will be back right after this.

All right, I hope that when you're done,

They put your GPS in your box and a trap door at the bottom.

So when you die, you open that trap door at the bottom,

you check the GPS, and you go straight down to the hell.

Madhouse Radio is back.

You are bigger than a woman.

You are better than a woman.

We'll always be behind you.

Do not let a woman ever, ever make you who you are.

Everybody out, Carlito.

I'm back on the hill.

We'll do that prank call here.

Yeah.

Sorry it took so long to break.

I got to say.

The shit out of that salad.

I love the fuck.

Hey, Dwight.

Woo.

Hey, oh.

Hey, Dwight.

You're off of mute.

Hey, Dwight.

Hey.

No, it wouldn't let me in here.

Oh, I don't know.

You're in now.

Yay.

Hey.

Where's everyone else?

Where's the milky man?

He had to go back to work.

Oh.

What else was around?

Neon was around.

Neon said he wanted to be on.

I saw she was in the chat.

The cheddars.

There you go.

There's a neon.

To that for now.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Look at that picture.

What?

Okay.

for that sir thank you let me get to that list sorry okay now i can do this oh we got a free cat

that's what i'm talking about all right to start we got uh the guest name is cuddy sark isn't that

the name of some type of whiskey or something or gin or scotch i don't know i'm not much of a

drinking man myself i'll try it i don't think that's a real name a little transfers to the

the fucking, uh, bar. That would be something. Yeah, you don't need to exaggerate. How you

doing? I'm looking for a guest who's staying there. I won't be able to give you any personal

information. I'm not looking for personal information. I need to talk to them and I

have the fucking name. Can I have name please? Sark, S-A-R-K. I don't have anybody's name

by that last name. It's probably at the bar. Transfer into the bar at once. I don't have

a bar here, sir. Engage. Excuse me? Engage, I said. Engage in what, sir? Engage in

and transferring the phone to the correct department.

I don't have a bar here, sir.

I command you to engage.

I don't have a bar in our facility, sir.

Can you engage in anything?

I don't have the gentleman.

Do you have...

Stay here with that last name.

Do you have female...

I think you might be...

Hey, wait a minute.

Do you have female sexual organs?

That would help.

That would help me a lot, you know?

You need some money?

I'll pay the bills.

I'll help you out.

Have a good night, sir.

Oh, okay.

Who's he?

I just committed a crime.

I just solicited.

That would make the wife very happy when she hears about that, I'm sure.

You'd get arrested.

All right, buddy.

Okay.

We've been trying to talk.

You're using Dash's tool machine, right?

Is that how you get the numbers done?

I got some of the Craigslist.

The Facebooker tool, it's broke now.

We can't use it anymore.

Oh, that sucks.

Fucking APIs and shit.

Yeah.

That's where the majority of the numbers were coming from.

um here is jamie who is spending a few days in raleigh north carolina north caculac we'll have

to get the local number because that's the only one i could find okay oh here it doesn't like it

i was having some fun on gta 5 earlier good stole a couple semis parked them across the intersection

and closed it it's like fuck you cats yeah but did you get the shit to work with uh what's

McCullough yet? I haven't tried it. I was

reformatting my computer earlier and I had no way

of telling if someone was broadcasting and I

didn't want to kill somebody's broadcast.

Yeah, I understand.

The easiest place I'm telling

you to fuck with the cops and start

a real big war with them is

an off-ramp. You just fucking close off

that off-ramp. Really?

You start to kill a few of the drivers

in their cars so they're just sitting there.

People are crashing and shit. It gets wild.

What is he trying to do? I'm having a mouse

problem here hang on i'm trying to open that synergy apps to get that uh mrs probably my

means yeah where all my mrs at i hate when this happens i usually just open it when i start the

show so i'm ready to go when i have to restart the app open another app on accident i gotta

close that i'm afraid it's gonna mess with the audio settings because it's the twitch broadcaster

hopefully nothing just got fucked up don't know why skype is saying it's got a it's got an

exclamation point the call quality next to my microphone but then it says my microphone seems

Seems to be working fine.

Well, I copied your number, and it's inserting, for some reason,

my computer's inserting a question mark in the middle of the number,

and I can't backspace on my computer.

But that's because I use this shared mouse application.

It gets a little funky when you start using it, like, heavy.

So I've just got to stop and start it.

Start it on one end, and we've got to use the mouse pad here.

It just doesn't want to move because I have other stuff on top of it already.

I don't know what to use it for.

Yeah, I get bored in that game and I'll rob the convenience store and then I'll hold up in there and see how many I can take out.

I like to rob the rural convenience stores, nice and far away.

When I know I'm going to go rob them, I'll take a vehicle and I'll park it like right parallel with the door.

And then go in and it makes it really difficult for the cops to get in.

Okay.

And so the doors, we'll just shoot the glass out and I'll just start fucking popping them through the doors while I'm hiding in the storage room.

Okay.

Dude, I don't know where this thing's getting fucking...

I just start killing the clerks, though,

because there's been four or five times where I turn my back to go out the door and leave them,

and they fucking start shooting at me.

Okay.

Thank you for calling.

Yeah, fuck them, all right?

For English, press 1.

Para Español, oprima 2.

We got a fix, guys.

Hey!

To check prices and hotel availability, or to make a new reservation, select 1.

Request a change, 2.

Cancellation, 3.

Confirm the status of your trip, or for questions about your hotel,

4. Or for welcome reward, best price guarantee, gift cards, refunds, or credit card charges.

5. To repeat these options, select 8.

I'm going to skip that, man, because it's not even giving me an option to speak to the front desk.

Here's Oku, who is what? At Market Central? At the Hilton.

I want to spend my life with you.

I collect Dairy Hills and Anatole in Dallas, Texas.

For the host or operator or guest room, please select Vera.

Good evening, Denise. Can I make a right for you?

Yes, I need to speak to a guest who's staying there.

Last name?

uh r-e-i-u-j-i rodrigue r-e yes i'm giving you the last name okay r-e-i-u-j i don't have anyone

by that last name what about o-k-u-u what about a-n-a-t-o-l-e well shit fucking shit god damn it

bitch this is bullshit that you don't have it whatever let's give her some shit sorry

sorry to offend anybody sorry for taking it cheaply out of that call but it was over

that's how you do it farhan is asking who else is at the hard rock hotel in chicago illinois oh i'm

here motherfucker hey how you doing i need to speak to a good staying there okay last name is

What's the room number?

Sattar is the last name.

S-A-T-T-A-R.

The guest you are trying to reach is not available right now.

Please wait for the tone to leave your message.

For personal...

Yeah, could you...

I got disconnected when I was talking to him.

Could you put me back through to Sattar?

Yeah, please hold.

Hello?

Yes, hello, Mr. Sattar.

I am calling from the front desk here at the Hard Rock Hotel.

Were you sleeping?

I'm glad that you're sleeping now.

Now, sir, we have complaints about your behavior here in the hotel and in the room.

Did you have anything you'd like to come forward and say first before we pass judgment?

You've been very loud, and you were spotted by Dwight, the janitor.

You had your door half open, and you were showing your penis and asking people to come in.

Sir, you have several complaints.

You had the door cracked open a little bit.

You're like, show me my penis.

You showed it to a woman.

I have her here on the line.

Her name is Lisa Thompson.

That's him.

What happened?

Ms. Thompson, what did he do?

I met him in the bar, and he was just this really nice guy,

and he told me to come back up to his room.

No funny business.

But as soon as we stepped over the threshold, he tackled me.

You tackled?

I don't know what else.

I can't believe it.

You were tackled by this man, Farhan Sattar?

Yeah.

Mr. Sattar, why did you tackle her?

A man touched my wife.

You touched this married woman?

Did you go to the bar?

The snack bar.

Did you go to the bar, sir?

Do you drink?

Maybe you had a little too much to drink and you forgot now, sir?

Is that what's going on?

Yeah, right.

Well, we're going to come by.

we're going to take photographs of your private parts your male sexual genitals um because she

can then identify them well yeah but we have our own this is las vegas i mean this is chicago

a hard rock hotel we're an extension of las vegas so we have our own uh rules here you know we have

our own security they'll handle the matter they're going to be down there they're going to be dusting

for prints and they're going to be checking her underwear for semen okay you slimed my panties

We're going to check her underwear and her vagina and her vulva,

her labia and her clitoris and everything for semen, her anus, her perineum.

My mouth.

Her stomach contents.

We're going to pump her stomach and see if there's semen inside her stomach.

The back of my neck.

Okay.

And then we're going to need you to masturbate to compare the semen.

So do you masturbate at all?

Are you, but will you be able to masturbate for us into a cup so that we can analyze it?

i suggest you start masturbating you suggest i what you speak up i still can't hear you honey baby

talking to the phone be a man come on be a man do you not have father huh where's your honor speak

like a man speak loud into the phone don't you have a father you don't you have honor huh what

would your father say the way you're talking now scared stop it look at you like a girl

why don't you call mama first huh you're gonna call olmec first and tell her olmec olmec is

your mother you're gonna call olmec your mother olmec and your dad's asshole yeah she lives on

the street with a dog that fucks her every night in the street like a dog i am cross my name is

horus i have the ancient eye of horus h-o-r-u-s the all-seeing eye from north africa well i'm from

From the area known as the Upper Nile region originally.

I'm like a big eye.

I'm a big eye in the sky, you know?

I'm a big triangle with an eye inside of it.

And I can see everything.

All-seeing, all-knowing eye machine.

It's on your dollar, even.

Do you have dollar, Bill?

Hello?

In an effort to salvage this call, I now turn you over to Lisa Tompkins, Senegal.

Hi, Mr. Packy.

How are you?

Are you there?

Is anyone there?

I don't know.

He's just bullshit.

Hey, you touched my wife there, you cocksucker.

Huh?

Why don't you speak up there, chief?

Talking.

Is he one of those type of Indians, the ones that go,

or is he the other one with the dot and shit?

Yeah.

Talking.

Mister.

Mister talking.

Hey, asshole.

Oh.

Sarah drops.

Sarah went, fell.

Fell out of the sky like a helicopter you can't fly.

Hi, Carlito.

Hey, what's up, y'all?

How you doing?

All right, how are you?

You feeling better yet?

No.

Is it your asshole?

i wish it was but no my ears oh no man that shit hurts probably yeah i've got like tinnitus in the

right ear it's crazy since friday yeah you need to do uh pine tree bark uh pills yeah it helps out

hang on there's a pine what did i used to take for tinnitus i think it was pine tree extract

i think it's because i'm just like it's like internal congestion there's like nothing coming

and out it's just there i don't know i got so sick so fast i'm gonna look at my notes there

was something i used to take for something else but it was also well regarded for uh for tinnitus

um yeah let me know man it was either cherry seed extract or pine tree bark extra pine tree

bark i think it might have been pine tree bark yeah yeah i'm gonna i'll do anything i'm gonna

feel weak because i have music shit going on this week if i can't hear out of my best ear

Oh, man, that sucks.

Sucks.

Anyhow.

Yeah, it is.

It's pine bark extract, and I buy it at GNC.

They have it there.

It's in a pill form.

Okay.

And you just take, yeah, it actually helps out with it.

And also pycnogenol.

That's one that Milkman told me to start getting for my eye problem.

I started taking the pycnogenol.

It helps out with the eyes and the ears.

With microvascular bleeding, it helps out with that.

Wow, cool.

And they attribute that as part of the problem with tinnitus is microvascular changes in bleeding causing that pain and kind of noise.

Yeah, it's so loud, dude.

I thought I just busted my ears.

We went to a show a couple weeks ago, and the levels were so off.

The treble was like, oh, it was crushing, like ear crushing.

You're going to have to do white noise also, too.

Just go to the YouTube.

There's YouTube pages that play white noise for eight hours straight.

That would definitely help you sleep.

because isn't it supposed to like equalize it or something yeah it at least makes it so you've got

something else that you can concentrate on i think you know what i mean yeah so definitely a white

noise machine i just i've had problems with it and it's gone away but i've had problems with it in

the past the pine pine bark extracts seem to have kept it at bay i haven't had any problems with it

since i started taking it once a week i would say once a day like when i used to take it once a day

for a while, but I weaned off of my

supplements. I wasn't trying to blast

my body anymore. Once a week, I

have like a little set of things

that I take.

Pine bar extract.

Alright, good luck with it.

I sent you a bottle of it, but I gave it to

my friend who had some of his

problems. That's okay.

And it actually helped him out too.

He had a really bad case of it, and he said

it was helping him out. He actually kept buying it after that.

Wow. Okay, look, I'll

some bullshit, and we're going to keep going with the prank calls here.

Thanks, man. Seriously.

Yeah, yeah.

Free Phantom Limo

TN. Is this a sale

thing here, do you think? No, it's for free.

It's not running. Oh, okay. It's a free

limo because it's not running.

I'm going to make a nice house with a limo.

Miss it out.

Let's try it.

Pain and yard crush.

Your call has been

forwarded to an automatic voice.

Oh, wow.

We'll try again

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message

You need to watch the movie

The Wedding Ringer there Carlito

The Wedding Ringer

Is that a newer one

It just came out on DVD Tuesday

I think Tuesday

I might have heard about it during the Justin Bieber roast

Like it got mentioned

I think so

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic

This is Rick with a free dog

First call first ring

you see that dick rick

one of these i think it's the one that says small dog they're like oh i will be doing a

home visit before you uh get the dog and all this shit oh yeah they do that like bonding thing where

like you have to bond with the animal and it's not just a hey come get it type thing

Come see my nice little meth lab.

Yeah, hi.

Hello?

Is that Clara?

Clara?

Um, Sierra?

Yeah, Sierra?

Yes.

Okay, you have free cat?

Um, actually, no, they're all taken already.

I gotta take them off of Craigslist.

Oh, because I wanna eat a cat, you know?

Well, that's not good because if you leave over here, bye.

No, it's not.

That was good.

Is there any speculation that's why she's getting rid of the cat?

she found out she can't eat it yeah that's what it was raising them for food and they were like

oh shit thought it was the same laws as chickens yeah hi is it is it really illegal here because

as far as i'm like if the if you know if it's just a certain age they let you yeah i know they

look so they look so pretty and cute when they're little kittens but when they get older you one of

Fuck you, motherfucker.

I want to eat a kitty kitty, yeah.

For real, yeah?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Dumb bitch.

Damn.

He was dying on that first call, Carly.

He was like, are you wearing new panties or something?

He's like, what?

You got any dirty panties you've been in all funky all day?

Oh, man.

I actually was able to talk one person into selling me their dirty panties.

And she was all about it.

She's like, yeah, you can come see.

Like, I'll wear them.

Like, I'll take them off right there.

I started pressing the line when I asked her what to watch.

Oh, wasn't it an older lady?

No, you could be in the other room.

Wasn't it an older lady?

I think I remember that.

I think it was.

I remember that now.

She got really upset when I started asking if I could have some of her old man's underwear too.

I remember that.

Well, because I originally called about a dresser, and it progressed, and I wanted to

also purchase some of her dirty underwear and shit.

Oh my god.

I remember that.

I remember I was in the hospital last year.

The last time I was in the hospital last year.

Not this year, last year.

I agree with Dark Stranger.

This seems like an easy enough way to make some money.

Why not?

Some people love that stuff.

Do it online?

No one will question you.

Yeah.

That's a fucking...

You're sitting on a cash machine, ladies.

Shit.

You guys should think about doing that.

Good.

We've got a $500 roommate wanted.

$500, don't pay for the roommate.

We're buying a roommate.

It's too deep.

Forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

Trying again.

Here's a $550 room available, a share home.

So I guess there's been this app called Airbnb that I didn't know about

where, like, if you have a second house or your own house

and you're going out of town for a weekend,

you can lease out your house.

You can rent out your house for a weekend as a bed and breakfast while you're out of town.

They're trying to get rid of that in, like, L.A. here.

Yeah?

Yeah, because they're saying, like, people are just doing that and it's taken away from, like, all the hotels.

Yeah, well, I guess what happened was, like, a couple returned home and there had been a fucking sex orgy,

a 40, 50-person sex orgy over the weekend.

Oh, my God.

The police had come three times to break it up.

There were people having sex in every room.

Oh, I thought you meant they joined in and they came three times.

Yeah, the toilets were clogged up with condoms.

There was semen and vomit and alcohol spilled in every room, everywhere.

It was just like a big fucking orgy, apparently.

I mean, they trashed the house.

They broke everything.

They trashed everything.

That's terrible.

Yeah, and there's YouTube video.

It was probably like 500 bucks for the weekend or something.

Yeah, and there's YouTube video of it.

But, like, the guys, like, just, and the cops are there already.

When they arrive from the airport, the couple gets there, and the cops are there, like, what the fuck?

And they see this.

And the cop's like, is this your house here?

Like, yeah.

Like, did you know about this?

Like, no.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

And the cop's like, yeah, we've seen some shit.

Like, the one cop was like, I've seen some stuff in all my years, but nothing like this before.

He was at the party and then went to work after.

Yeah, you're right.

He got all dressed up.

Or he probably was there and dressed up like a cop right there.

Mm-hmm.

That's his plan.

Ooh, a stripper cop.

Hot cop.

I'm here about a noise complaint, and he fucking hits the boombox.

He's fucking hip-thrusting.

Oh, shit.

Oh, man.

Okay.

I still can't believe I told somebody, asked someone the other day if they wanted a Tijuana handjob,

not knowing there was an actual fucking thing.

Is it like a Dutch rudder?

No, they said it's the opposite of a fucking Blumpkin.

It's a handjob while you're taking a shit.

Oh.

I don't have any sex at all when I'm shitting.

Those two things, but we're not going to.

I've thought about jerking off while I'm shitting.

It's like seeing your mom and dad have sex or something.

No, I mean, I've just thought about jerking off while shitting, but never tried it.

Yeah, hey, buddy, how you doing?

I thought about jerking off while shitting.

I see you have a $450 room available.

Excuse me?

You have a room available for share?

Yeah, but not to you. Thank you.

Why not? What happened?

That was funny.

not to you

I'll be a totally

different person

I was just having a conversation with someone

need one of them rooms

do I sound black and shit

a little bit

we done toasted it

we get to neon status

do I

I just reinstalled everything

all sick over here

did you get a neti pot no fucker you got to man that'll help out yeah you gotta do this

so yeah you have to do that what you do is you put the pot you put the water in

is that like milkman salt levels

you put the salt in the water and you put it in the murder pot

put it in the basket

and then you put the pot out of your nose and the water comes up

and then you put water and salt in the pot

and then you go no more

and then you blow your nose

Captain Ron that was a shitty movie

uh no name here but a 45 dollar temporary room for rent 45 dollars that was like a closet

45 a day oh yeah until may 6th only

hi this is too young sorry i missed your call but you know what to do

i got the idea that he's got a 45 a day fucking drug habit

yeah so he rents this shit out for 45 a day oh yeah go stay with me

well yeah but he's saying no drug users he wants to be the only one yeah he could be the one he

just doesn't want anyone that's why he doesn't want any voices andy had his roommate once it

sucked man like we would smoke together he always was like oh yeah he came around when we were

smoking and never put it weed ever fucking asshole according to half baked he's known as a scavenger

yeah that was that fucking dude man or andy hated that shit we need to tell him straight like dude

Yeah, you got a cheap $345 rent machine.

Oh, yeah.

Actually, the position's still there now.

Sorry.

Motherfucker.

What position is that?

Fucker.

Bitch.

Is it doggy style?

Why?

Yeah, you're a whore.

She didn't even let me say, oh, my God, or I'm sorry.

She was like, it's bye.

She said, the position's been filled already by.

That's what she said.

That's because she's bye.

Like, bye who?

Who?

It's not sexual.

Yeah, you said the room's already taken by.

The position's already filled by, you said.

Like, by who?

Listen, but what do you mean by?

Like, by who?

Stupid.

I mean by as in, like, goodbye.

No, you said that, no, you said the position's been filled by,

and, like, you went, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, like, stupid in your head.

Why are you calling me?

Well, because I need a place to stay.

and you like left me hanging you said it's been i don't know if you were going to say that it was

it was the business had been filled by someone who canceled you know you didn't finish i don't

know what the fuck's going on i just need a place to fucking stay i'll do anything man i'll suck

your dick or something well you need to stop calling please please help you know anyone else

is there any more room any more can i just can i just park my car that was good

Did Parker call you along or something?

That was fun.

That was the last number I had there.

We missed the free small dog.

Oh, yeah, we did Sierra.

We did No Name.

I thought I did that one.

Nope.

No Name free small dog?

Is this the one where they want to come check the house out?

Yeah, this is the one they're going to want to check the house.

I think I called this one, but we'll try it again.

You're scammers.

I'll ask for your driver's license

and visit your home before you're being released.

I could swear this guy...

Oh, this is the guy that was ringing busy.

Aloha, you have reached Sunriders LLC.

Yeah, that's what happens.

Hey Carlito, if you go to the link for that ad,

well, it's really fun to do this music.

Just move your mouse back and forth on the pictures.

Makes the dog fucking dance to the music.

if you move it oh really like it goes back and forth yeah you just move it back and forth it's

like the dog oh shit yeah look at that ha that's cool you can make a gif out of that like

mexican dog imagine that you know this little rat dog motherfucker you ever have a chihuahua

there in your family you ever have a dog at all we had um my dad had like sushi pretty dogs

dogs um just like australian shepherds um and my mom had a did you ever try like

ever try what peanut butter stuff no never you sure no nothing no potted meat spam stuff

no spam stuff no you get into spam stuff dog i gotta say that nicole oh my god does your dog

I'll get in a peanut butter stuff.

Here's three people we've fucked with pretty bad before.

But it's been a while, so it might be ripe again.

All right, that's fine.

I'm down to do more calls.

I don't give a shit, motherfucker.

Let's get some more numbers somehow.

The Lindsay Lucky one, it's the daughter's cell phone.

Or the dad's.

Or someone's.

But I tell him each time I need this TV repaired, and he's like, it's you again.

He fucking yells at me.

Hey, real quick, I want to give a shout-out to the estimated 257 people

and or connections that are listening to the show right now.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah, man.

That's combined all three shout-cast stations, which equals 110.

And then our Mixler, which is at 146 right now.

Yeah.

All right, let's continue.

It is at 146.

Is that accurate?

When I see the Mixler in the Mixer app, what's in the bottom right,

is that the current number of people listening,

or is that just the peak for the show?

I think it's the current number of people.

It's current, okay.

You got it, homie.

Oh, shit.

All right, you put the number where?

I put it in the main chat here.

Copy-pasting it.

Because I freaked him out one time

and I called from his shop number to his cell phone.

He's like, somebody's at the shop.

He was like, get the cop down there.

Shit.

Oops.

Someone bro'ed like,

she's like,

she said,

yeah,

I'm here in the shop office.

Not like your pencil.

All right,

so,

Lindsay,

need your TV,

radio,

microwave,

et cetera,

fixed.

Call Lucky's TV Repair.

All right.

Are you taking that?

No,

you can take it.

He knows my voice.

Tell me in the microwave.

Yeah.

Lucky's TV.

How's it going?

All right,

so that's his shop.

Let's try to sell that.

Mississippi.

Jackson, Mississippi.

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voicemail.

Next.

Jane Stone Jones.

You got to say that whole name.

Jane Stone Jones.

Found two dogs on the street.

Has them in a kennel.

I can't bring them in.

These are all letter N's, not I am.

I have a dog inside that doesn't get along well with others.

And I have three in the bag.

I'm not sure how they will act if they are URS.

Please text me.

Thank the letter U.

Fuck spelling.

I'm ignorant.

yeah you found

found these two dogs no what do you mean no no i didn't you put down that you found two dogs

no i didn't who you fucking with young lady is this jane no i don't know what you're talking

about did you eat my dog no did you put peanut butter on your pussy and let him

what was that about what was that about if i remember right i accused her of

snatching my dogs out of my

fenced-in yard.

She got really pissed off

and her

husband started being a real dickhead

on the phone. I couldn't remember if that was

the case with her or if that's the one that I

had bring the dog in and check for the scar

by his dick.

And then I asked

her if she kissed the tip

and she was like, what the

a fucking hug up and I talked to the husband

and he was like, you can't be telling her

to do things like that, so why would she

do it?

Wow.

Wow. What else can you say to that?

Coughing here. Look, I'm looking ahead.

We haven't gotten to you, but there's a confederate flag

engraved knife for sale. I can't wait to get

to that. Those are older, but

I don't know, try them out. Yeah, why not?

Before we

get to those neon numbers, we got Michelle, Shelley,

Brown, Bob. We hacked her voicemail.

Do you want a number to call from as one of her friends?

Yeah, what is it?

Let's see.

Here's Sean.

Sean's number.

Yeah, we started cataloging her numbers of people calling.

Nice.

We kept calling this Deb, and I was using the female voice.

Deb.

I want to see, Dwight, if you still have those voicemails,

like that lady with the washing machine.

Oh, yeah.

If they're still there or not.

I've tried them.

If they still work, I still have them.

Call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system.

Three, one.

Did you want to check her voicemail?

Whose voicemail?

So you guys had access to her voicemail?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You want to call in here?

I've got the number right here.

Oh, no, I'm calling Michelle.

Oh, you mean...

Excuse me.

Oh, I got it.

Hello?

Yeah, hey, is this...

I've got a Michelle listed on here on this phone.

I have this number.

i'm here at the bowling alley i found a well we got a woman here who's in some kind of distress

she's uh thrashing about and everything and they don't talk already they're take their tire up

take her away and uh she had we're just looking at the contacts here on the phone she don't have

any id and she got one of her last calls us to this number here and says michelle yeah yeah do

Do you know whose number this is?

It's calling right now so I can let these people know.

No, don't know.

Who is this?

Huh?

Who is this?

My name is Cross.

I'm here at the bowling alley.

We have a woman here.

She was here bowling, and they say they think she took some kind of drugs or something,

or she was on a date, and they spiked her food or her drink, you know,

like with a roofie or something, they're thinking, and she just got really crazy.

Why don't you just call the police?

Well, that's the thing.

They're wanting me to find out.

That was good.

Do you know the name of the person you had me change the ID to?

Who?

What?

Dwight, you there?

Dwight's the one that gave me the number to change the caller ID to.

You know what I'm saying?

Oh, yeah.

You don't understand what I'm talking about?

Dwight, where are you?

Dwight must have died.

What the hell's wrong with this?

No, I'm here.

I'm checking these numbers before I send them to Carlito, you know, the boys' male ones.

Yeah, yeah.

Who was the one that wanted him to spoof the number?

Who was the friend?

Do you know who that person is?

No.

Okay, just the number they're called.

Damn.

Sean was the number you spoofed to call her ideas.

Okay, so it's Sean.

All right.

Yeah.

All right, so it was saying a woman.

Damn.

Yeah, Sean was the friend, and you had Michelle's number already.

Ah, okay.

Okay, all right, all right.

Anyway, we're at Headphones for Sale.

Let's get some Beats headphones, yo.

How's it going, man?

I love it.

Hey, how you doing there?

You got some headphones for sale?

Headphones?

Headphones for sale?

Yeah, I got some headphones for sale.

What color is them headphones?

Those headphones are white.

All right, good, good.

I like that.

I prefer white, you know.

I got white shoelaces all the time, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, that white, white, they work hard.

It's a good fucking color, motherfucker.

Uh, yeah?

What brand is that headphones is?

White is a good color, but you ain't white.

White?

Hey.

You ain't white, you three-penged Viking bastard.

Motherfucker, you?

I am white.

You ain't white.

I'm just trying to talk down, like, one of you monkey white trash people, stupid.

You ain't white, you little dick, three-penged.

I am white, and I'm not European.

What are you talking about?

If you're white, then why are you not the color of white?

You're stupid.

Are you seeing me through the phone?

Do you have a camera phone?

Is that what's happening?

What is white?

Here, I'm going to...

Shut up.

I'm going to turn on my camera so you can see me.

Do you have a camera phone?

But he's not white.

Are you the color white?

I can't do this anymore.

You guys want me to...

No, you bastard.

Are you the color white?

Have you ever sucked the dick of a black man before?

Are you the color white, you stupid vital?

I'm blacker than black, and I can show you the tip of my dick.

I want to see the color.

If you're white, show me that you're white.

Why are you all about color?

Yeah.

Why can't you be about love, son?

I ain't about love.

It ain't about color.

Man, that's what you people trying to work hard against.

I mean, for, or whatever.

Burning shit and rioting.

That's the color.

No, man, you don't need colors.

The only color you see is love.

Yeah, I'm a fucking white girl in front of you.

What you got to say, man?

You darker than a cave or what?

They say the black is sweeter than the juice.

Ooh, baby, get over here and spank my ass.

No, I ain't going to do no spanking.

I might hang you from a noose, from a tree.

Oh, shit.

You going to let me put my legs around your head?

Your legs?

Who the fuck is this?

What's up?

Who the fuck is this?

I was talking to a black man.

How could you get this number?

What do you care?

I'm talking to the black man.

Honey, are you old enough to answer the phone?

Don't talk to my sister like that, bitch.

Are you delayed?

Can you put a colored person on the phone?

No, you fucking piece of white trash.

I can't.

Oh, hey, what's up, Baltimore?

What's up?

What's up, Ferguson?

You got a problem?

What?

Right here.

I said you have a problem.

What up, Crenshaw?

Call this number again and I'll fucking shoot you in your face, bitch.

Fuck you and fuck you.

Yeah, there you go.

The fuck?

Wow.

God damn!

That was some L.A. shit.

May the 4th be with you tomorrow.

Yeah, man.

Live long and prosper.

All right.

Let's call that number back.

Those numbers are crazy.

Those are desperate-to-debt numbers, by the way.

I didn't even get through the whole list because they were all good.

It's fucking crazy.

May I converse with this woman?

Yep.

Do it, man.

This is the last time I'm going to scream on the air.

Hello?

How can I help you this evening?

You sound like you got a dick in your mouth there.

pal hey why don't you put that cunt back on the phone no ain't no bitch nobody no no listen here

you don't know who the fuck you're dealing with my name is dwight mcclanahan i'm a made fucking man

you a made fucking man that's goddamn right i work with the mafia you understand me a fucking

enforcer why are you playing on my phone and nobody playing on the phone there you limp dick

no and no looking over here i got me a bitch put the bitch on i know she's the one tugging on

your nuts and pulling the drawstring and you're

saying these phrases. Put her on the phone.

Yeah, she's Irish.

Hey, no, no, no. None of this. Shut the

fuck up and put her on the phone. I love me

a good pink white pussy. Hey,

shut the fuck up. I'm a

real black man. I'm a longer white man.

Yeah, you don't know a real black man. You go to

jail, you're going to get some of that jail-loving

motherfucker. You keep this up. Oh, I

love me some pink white pussy.

Yeah, you've been jail-sexed, haven't you?

I want me a blonde,

blue-eyed, stylish white

But you can't have one because you're fucking black.

Now, this big Italian dick's going to teach you a lesson if you don't go put that fucking

bitch on.

You got a fucking disability or something?

Because I'm not going to slap the fuck out of a man with a disability.

Listen, listen.

I'm going to teach you a lesson.

I'm going to come over there and make fucking love to you.

I'm going to spit on your asshole and shit, and then I'm going to fuck you.

Hey, that's how I torture people, right?

I fuck them in the ass.

Me, rather you torture me not.

You sound like a woman's step.

Yeah, you sound like a fucking little faggot there doing that cowboy accent and shit.

What do you like to do?

You like to get on bareback and shit?

You ride around with men?

You pitch the tents?

You go fucking Brokeback Mountain?

No, this ain't no cowboy accent.

This is how I be around a lot of people.

Listen, your Obama phone keeps breaking up.

You think get off that welfare and get you one of them nice fucking landline phones?

Well, no, I like being in welfare and living in the trailer park.

There's a whole bunch of nasty white women running around here with no shoes on.

And they'll suck your dick for five hours.

And you think you can wrap your dick around with a noose?

Oh, my dick is long enough where it might be tied in the noose.

And I can hang it around your old lady neck.

Nah, nah.

My girls have respect.

They don't go around spooks.

What's the matter there?

You a little breathless there?

You got nothing to say?

Put that bitch on the phone.

Then you can call your mother over and burn her over.

Oh, Jesus.

Here we go with the mother jokes.

Put the bitch on.

Hey, I want to see your bitch.

Can I come down and give her a kiss?

Hey, you want to see my bitch?

Hey, bitch, tell him.

Tell him.

Hey, man.

Old man, get over here and spank my ass.

Oh, that sounds like a pretty white ass.

I don't know why this guy's playing around on Massa's phone.

Give me some white ass.

I want you to piss in my mouth.

Oh.

On the rag.

Oh.

You like that war paint?

He's one that be drinking piss.

He's not eating it.

I got a big dick now.

I do both, y'all.

Y'all got rough enough.

Oh, come over here and spank me with it.

You want me to hit you with this big black pole?

Yeah, right in the ear.

Good.

I can't puss it.

You know he's got all kinds of money.

He's got fucking 15 kids.

Why is it all about color, sir?

Why is it all about color?

How come it just can't be a pussy?

I love me a European, Irish, Scottish, blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman.

I tell you, it's something about y'all's skin.

Y'all got some of the softest skin in the world, but I hate your men.

I wish I could kill all y'all Europeans.

And I'm all into your men because of Yeezy, you know.

Oh, you like us black men?

Oh, yeah.

It's natural, you know.

I think she likes them because she doesn't have to stay with one too long

because they go to prison about every other day.

Hey, hey, you don't have to worry about me going to prison.

I work every day right at McDonald's,

and I can bring home some burgers and fries every day for me and all the kids where I am.

Oh, okay, let's stop kidding around now.

You don't work and don't fucking make them work, and you fucking liar.

Yeah, you ain't feeding the rats in the ghetto.

Come on now.

I work hard every day.

Well, I'm colorblind, so who cares?

That's why I said, why is it about color?

It's about color because I like it to be about color.

Oh, that's nasty.

I like it.

No.

You have to accept what you cannot have, and that is a white woman.

I could have me a white woman.

I could go right outside my front door and get me a white woman.

Oh, I don't think so.

Nah, she likes me.

I'm a sweaty fucking guido.

I got hair everywhere.

I fucking sweat olive oil.

Oh, you a nasty Italian.

One of them Jewish bastards.

That makes no sense, sir.

He's a New York Jew.

I'm a New York Jew.

You one of them nasty stinking Italians.

I'm a New York Jew.

I figure that.

Your dad killed Jesus.

Damn all y'all bastards.

No, now you're talking about the Armenians.

That's messed up, man.

Don't be all UZ on that.

Come on now.

Yeah, me and Vic Mackey and Shane Vandrell, we robbed the Armenian money train.

We did it.

Y'all killed the Jews.

Y'all killed Jesus.

Your damn Jews killed Jesus.

And to hell with all of them.

You guys killed Lincoln, so don't even go there, okay?

If it weren't for him, you wouldn't even be answering this phone.

You know what I'm saying?

You forgot Curtis Lemanski.

Lincoln won't go back.

Yeah, Gerdaki.

You forgot about Gerdaki.

If he hadn't freed you, he wouldn't be dead.

Think about it like that.

You guys killed the president.

Don't be talking smack now.

Number one, I wasn't born a slave.

My ancestors wasn't born slaves.

Yes, you were.

He went to bed, woke up the next morning, said, I freed who?

Yeah.

You're just as forgetful as the light.

Y'all don't know y'all history.

You're still a fucking slave right now.

You're a slave to the system.

And you're a slave to me.

You're a slave on my phone.

Fuck you.

You're a slave to my phone.

Negative.

I initiated the call.

I'm a slave to the rave, okay?

The old lady going to be a slave to this 12-inch snake that I got in my pants.

Honey, that ain't no snake.

Best shit luck.

Every inch of it.

How big is your old man dick?

About three inches?

And it probably barely works.

Your daddy.

We're going to worry.

You might dig maybe three inches, but I can honestly say I've never molested a family member, you black bastard.

Hey, the only family master, the only family master I molested was your damn daughter.

You a slave, that's why.

My daughter isn't in your family.

I don't know what the fuck this guy's on.

I ain't no slave.

My ancestors were free folks.

You a slave to the summertime blues.

Get the hell off the phone.

Y'all slaves, I bet you gotta go to work in the morning, you stupid bastard

Make sure you go to work in the morning

Officer Winslow, be quiet, okay?

Family does not matter

Make sure you go to work in the morning and apply that field

How about I go there and spank your ass?

You sound like you need a real good fucking spanking

Make sure you pay your tax

Listen, I want to bring this to your attention

See if this doesn't blow your mind

What do you think?

Do you think Danny Tanner could have fucked up Carl Winslow or what?

You know what I think?

Y'all killed Kennedy, and to hell with all y'all stinking Jews.

Man, don't even go in there with Martin Luther King days, man.

Bobby Kennedy would have been a lot, too.

Maybe he'd been a president.

He'd have been trying to free you people.

People couldn't get together by the 60s.

There's no reason to believe that.

Reina's Acres fucking says in the IRC this guy will never hang up.

He fucking hangs up.

Bobby Kennedy was just barely hanging on.

He just finally had an upswing.

Yeah, maybe.

In the primaries.

Let's not get carried away.

Oh, no, I'm talking about, like, assassinations.

People get carried away that he was going to take the presidency in Atlanta.

Oh, God, no, of course not.

It's a miracle his brother got elected to one term.

Person cannot be reached at the moment.

To be honest, JFK probably would not have won a second term.

Let's all be honest.

It was just...

That was the temperature of the country.

No, man, I could be wrong.

It would have been an interesting election had it really happened.

Who ended up running against Barry Goldwater?

It would have been J.

Well, JFK would have destroyed Barry Goldwater.

So, never mind.

Yeah, no.

Yeah, Barry Goldwater.

Kennedy definitely would have destroyed Barry Goldwater.

Just like he destroyed Nixon.

All right, black TV for sale.

Black TV for sale.

I never got through, I think, two of these numbers.

No, watch.

All of that shit just for some white headphones.

That guy's crazy.

Jesus.

Yeah, you got a black TV?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that right there.

Oh, hey, does it only get black people on it?

Yeah.

Like Denzel Washington movies and Rap City.

You can only watch BET on it.

Rap City. Is Rap City even on anymore?

Rap City, bitch, rap.

Yeah, that 808, whatever, 808 and Park.

Has that been off?

Yeah, 106 and Park.

106 and Park. It's been off for years now.

That was the last show like that, like those end-of-day...

TLC and shit.

Like Carson Dale.

Oh, TRL, that's what it was.

Total Request Live.

Total Request Live, yeah.

I used to watch when it was most wanted.

The Chappelle show cracked me up when he had the camcorder,

and he looked in the mirror and he showed, like, 30 years in the future,

and Carson Daly was still doing that fucking show, and he was all fat and baldy.

Fat and baldy.

He's like, ah, you fucking bastards.

He's like, I hated his life.

And he's yelling at the, why do you vote for the same fucking video 30 times in a row?

Here's a different TV, black TV for snow.

another black pretty sure all tvs are black now let's say you'd like covered color tvs and oh

shit my tv's black i just looked over there it is sometimes silver maybe the the frame is black

and the screen's black this is blowing my mind nobody does anything about black tvs anymore

there must be some really cheap silver looking flat panel something oh my god dark stranger

totally reminded me that when i was at the hospital they had the bet channel on fucking

loud hello please leave a message after the tone and it was like embarrassing because i don't know

know who was more embarrassed for there were some black people sitting there and they were just like

going on like nothing like nobody's business and like the channel it had like some comedian on

there whatever and freaking cussing up a storm like oh i'm gonna go pussy bro so gross and i'm

like there's like freaking black people here like aren't you guys embarrassed or is this what you

do all the time one of my hospital series when last year when i was sitting in the hospital

there was like this african family african girl who i guess had tried to commit suicide

side and was like she was in the room next to me not funny but like the family came in for an

intervention and it was crazy they were all like in african accents like half hawking like ugandan

or whatever like gilbert and then he was like i swear to god you do not change you might as well

kill yourself now here take all the medicine that's here take it oh my god yeah like you know

if you're so if i was your mother if i was your father i would beat you to death like all this

just, like, screaming at her.

I'm listening to, like, oh my god.

And then at the end, they all left laughing

and happy and okay.

It was so crazy.

Like, they're like, alright, see you later, get well.

Probably because they took fucking turns, like,

suffocating her with a pillow.

It's just different kind of cultures, man.

Do you think, wait, Carly, do you think that maybe they came in

and did that to scare you, to be like,

dude, you better leave our girl alone?

We're going to come in here like an angry mob?

I don't know, they just brought in some holy man

to, like, fucking scare the shit out of her.

they brought in a holy man from africa to fucking scare the jesus out of her he spoke english but

he was also he kept going into whatever african language it is that we're talking

i was uh just a few minutes ago looking for xbox controllers them motherfuckers are not cheap

no they're not that's why they're like 45 50 dollars i've never got one for my computer

I'm sticking to keyboard and mouse for GTA 5

fuck what everyone else does

we were all looking up like GTA

for like the computer like what the hell

50 gigs on the computer

yeah it's a lot

it's worth it though

it is fun

you get to act out all the shit that you really want to do

in life but you're scared to because of going to prison

yeah

that reminds me Dwight

if I get it then I'm wondering if GTA will help me

and figure out what it would be like to have a dick.

Yeah, sure, yeah, you can get your dick sucked

and everything. Oh, shit.

You can fuck a whore, too. I used to do that.

It was Condition Zero, that fucking

army game, and I'd come home shooting people

after a frustrating day. I'm like,

motherfucker, fuck you, fuck you.

And you can go get in your car and get your dick sucked.

Fuck yeah. Just in the car, though?

I mean... I think you can get some whore.

You can get women, but... You can get some whore?

You can't see it.

You know, there was once, there was

There was a certain GTA game that had a certain coffee mode,

and everything went to shit, so they had to take it out.

You've reached Streaker Smalls.

You know what I'm talking about, Dwight?

The coffee mode for San Andreas?

It was like an incomplete actual sex fucking scene.

They had the instructions for going in and out and whatever,

and uh and like rox was like no we didn't put that that someone made a mod that was a mod

and they got proof that it was in the fucking code like it was unfinished and not meant to be

in the final game i guess they finally said we can't put this in the fucking game but they

fucking kept it in the code they forgot to take it out of the code in the final version

oh the hot coffee mod the hot coffee mod yeah so someone just learned you know found a way

Way to activate it, yeah.

Because it was kind of glitchy still.

They never finished it, you know, because they...

But you get to fuck people in the game.

I mean, what's the big deal about the coffee mug?

They might as well just let you see.

I mean, they got...

Well, she got coffee because it was a black guy.

Well, this one, the tits are out all over the place.

Carlito was getting a lap dance with titties out everywhere.

Yes, she's touching her.

Carlito?

I was saying baby, baby, baby.

You shouldn't kiss a towel.

She gave me her phone numbers

I might call her and come over and fuck

Whatever

Yeah, I will

San Andreas and all that

You just pulled your car up

And the car would just start rocketing

And then afterwards she would get out

And you'd go beat her up and take your money back

Well in this case it shows the view

From like

The dashboard up

So you can see the head bobbing up and down

And him with his head back

and putting the hand on the head and all that.

You can see all that stuff when you get a blowjob.

I didn't do the fucking.

I was like, that's too much.

I'm a married man.

Yeah.

I'm thinking maybe next time I might do the fucking.

Oh.

But I haven't seen a whore walk around.

Next time I see a whore, I'm going to hopefully have a cash on me.

I'll fuck her and let you know what happens.

Yeah, call me during it.

Hot coffee.

The reason it was called hot coffee, because the girl would say to CJ,

jay invite him and do you want some hot coffee and if you said yes he's like oh yeah

george says kill her afterwards yeah you can kill the prostitutes

i think i used i used to do that in san andrea it's like i do whatever then i'd shoot him and

take the money back yeah okay good night everyone i'm leaving yeah i remember doing it like i feel

really bad i'm gonna get killed then carl carlito's like oh shit wait a minute i need

that for gas money. He fucking jumps out and starts

beating her to death. Give me that back.

Okay, wait a second.

So hypothetically, Carlito,

if you could, if you

were kind of freeing to do whatever

and you had sex with a hooker,

would you actually kill her?

No. Come on, just be legit.

No, no. I wouldn't want to kill

a real human life. I wouldn't want to take

a real life like that, no.

It's different, dude.

But if the one

like beat her

beat her pussy up

pretty well

and then you're just like

I'm fucking done with you

and she slapped her

maybe you inadvertently

killed her

and I could get her

no I would not do it

I don't want to

I don't want to take

human life away man

that's not my bag

there are some of those

crazy bastards

that can't differentiate

the uh

the fucking game

and then the life

yeah

see people like you

Neon

give gamers a pat

you know actually

I'm intrigued

and you know what

I meant to show a friend

and been like

hey man

man, look at, these guys are playing GTA,

you know, this is what they're into.

My friend's like, I'm not really a gamer, but man, this game

looks fucking cool, I'm all, damn it.

Alright, because you're just giving me

the Bill O'Reilly

treatment there for a second.

I know, well, gosh, you guys

were, I was feeling a little ignored.

I don't like to be ignored.

Alright, here's

Big Dick Rick looking for a trucking job.

Yeah.

I thought you guys were having fun with that, it's cool, seriously.

Yeah, you should get on.

I'll see what I can do.

Are you playing?

Now is not the time.

Can you have sex with other players?

was a mod on like the ps4 version

that let you i haven't seen that on pc or was it one of the consoles had a mod that let you like

You could reach the voicemail box of...

Like if you, say for example, you're playing Green V Techman,

and you're playing Dashie,

and you just get this inadvertent feeling to be like,

dude, I want to fuck Dashie or something, you know?

Can you go and fuck another player or no?

No, you can't.

There's no sex.

No sex with each other.

No sex with the dudes, right?

No sex with the dudes.

I mean...

I'm just wondering.

I've never played the game before, seriously.

Not a joke.

I just wanted to ask.

No.

Yeah, but there is a rape mod for the consoles, I guess.

I'm sure there'll be a PC version of it at some point.

But yeah, I think you just go around and rape somebody.

Like, your guy would just, like, go behind him and fuck him in the ass.

And then you would lose some health.

I think that's what it did.

Like, you'd lose some of your health after you got raped, and the other guy would gain health.

Oh, my God.

But they had, like, sealed it, but then it came back.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Yeah, but, yeah, at some point, I don't think it'll be too far away where there already are mods for the game.

Oh, really?

Not for the online portion, but for your first-person story mode, you can have mods and just go around and, like, in the sandbox, just fuck around all you want.

There's already, like, a god mode where, like, you can kick someone and they'll go flying, like, really far.

Nice.

Yeah, but, like, GTA 4 has a lot of crazy mods on PC.

They'll bring that rape mod.

That's insane.

I mean, going around raping people.

If you could do that online, that's insane.

He's like, oh, here you go, I'll rape you.

I'm like, what the fuck, man?

That's fucked up.

You start using it as a threat.

Hey, man, go on a special with me or I'll fucking rape you.

Yeah.

It'd be funny if it, like, if that gets some rating that you have

where people, like, think you're, like, a pussy now or something, you know what I mean?

Your bitchness rating goes up because you got raped by a guy.

And you could be, could you be a female character and rape a man?

that'd be cool yeah that'd be cool because it comes back with a strap on it just fucks you in

the ass it's cool because like you're kind of like well like not not like you guys are thinking

about doing rape or anything like that but for some people it could be like kind of therapeutic

like like well because i have a friend he went to jail for online raping oh no you didn't what

are you talking about online raping what's the hell online yeah online raping what do you say

say i'm raping you yeah i'm raping you bitch i'm raping you bitch show it to me

let me show you something sorry you feel guilty of all that rude so that's what i was thinking

i could do dta and then be dtf so down to the friends you can be dnf dnf yes down and no friends

do not fuck do not fuck okay did not fuck you'd have to play the game to understand that like a

a WNF? I said you have to play the

game to understand that joke.

Get the fucking game.

So,

right now we are calling the N-word

bar. We're not picking up. I don't understand

who would make a number like that.

Now we have the N-word titty bar in

Baltimore. Oh my god.

Someone in the IRC

turtle just sent a video of

a girl who called the

cops because she was virtually

raped in GTA 5.

Told you.

Wow.

I had a friend go to jail for that.

It's virtual rape.

That's what it was.

Not internet rape.

Sorry.

I've never done it.

Was it your brother?

No.

Was it your dad?

No.

No, no.

She virtual raped him?

No, I said it was a friend.

It was not a family.

A 16-year-old boy?

I was heartening.

His name was Mimi.

I was heartening.

Mimi did it.

I have to have sex.

Thank you for calling the gentleman.

Go, Kugler.

He will not have.

A new person.

We know if you find a new person.

All right.

Dwight, there's another number here I got for you that's just a number.

Any idea what that was about?

Damn, that's dope.

That is about as high as my ear cut.

Ooh, that hurts.

Sorry.

Oh, God.

Is the music loud?

Is the music buzzing in the background?

The music is loud for you?

No, it's fine, but...

Oh, my God.

This is hilarious.

Like, this red-headed blogger is explaining the situation, and she's like, and they'll

talk to you on your microphone, and you can hear them be like, hey, man, man, man, man.

Oh, no.

Are you kidding?

Can you let these in a video?

Can you?

Yeah, I'll send it to you.

Please, I want to play the audio.

Unless I got to hear.

Right there, it's fucking hilarious.

It's an actual news story.

It's a frightening and disgusting trend in the world of online gaming.

Hackers rewriting code to simulate sexual assault.

Shauna Hunt is live with the disturbing reality of virtual rape.

Shauna.

Well, Roger, in the world of gaming, modifying characters is actually a common thing.

But these cases are extreme.

These hackers are taking control of games being played online, and they're staging these violent attacks.

And the scenes are so disturbing, we had to blur the images.

Online, they can take your character, lock them in place, have made their character pantsless,

and then can simulate sexual assault with your character, and you are helpless to stop it.

The graphics are so good, this attack is eerily realistic.

But this is virtual rape. Hackers rewriting codes and hijacking online video games like Zombie Apocalypse and Grand Theft Auto.

The vile scenes are then posted to YouTube.

That's deplorable and should not be allowed anywhere. Like they should be banned off the servers immediately.

And Sam Maggs, an avid gamer and blogger, tells me in some cases these hackers, also known as modders for modifying the game,

will talk to victims on their headsets during the attacks.

When you can hear the person on the other end who's saying these things directly to you

and they're saying them directly to you, that's a whole other level of harassment, really.

We all know many video games are known for their violence.

In Grand Theft Auto, for instance, players carry knives and guns

in the getaway with looting and murder.

But the sexual brutality now popping up online has the attention of Toronto police.

It is certainly something that we would be interested in hearing about if people have experienced it.

In this scene, a dog has been modified to do disturbing things.

And Detective Sean Marshall, who investigates cybercrimes, tells me this new trend is hard to label.

Are there charges that could come along with this?

We do investigate cases where people are being bullied online or being extorted online.

So those things the police will absolutely investigate.

When it comes to something like this, we could investigate it.

It gets very difficult.

Police say in these virtual rapes, harassment would be hard to prove

and tracking down the invisible hacker could be next to impossible.

It depends on where the person is that's actually doing it

because they could be anywhere in the world.

Sam Megg stopped playing online over a year ago

because of what she calls a misogynistic mentality

that already exists in the world of gaming.

And she says these new rape scenes only illuminate that.

It's violating, it's triggering for people who have survived assault in the past.

It's a visual representation of all that terrible verbal stuff that you get as a woman online.

Pretty much any game that you can play online can also be hacked and modified,

so we're taking a look at some of the ways that parents can keep their kids from being targeted in their virtual world.

If you know what you're doing, you can kind of get into the back files of any video game.

These realistic virtual rapes have mainly been happening in Grand Theft Auto,

but hackers modifying characters and creating these disturbing scenes

can hijack any game if it's played online,

putting all gamers at risk, including kids.

I'm a little chubby kid, but I'm still like this.

Yeah, I guess I'll have to keep a closer eye on it.

24-year-old Ahmed keeps tabs on his younger brother's gaming life.

Abraham is just 12 years old.

That's why I don't give him a headset when he's playing online.

I usually always mute

the outside world. It's mostly just him playing

his game himself.

Computers in a family room.

This is really big. Keeping safe for virtual rape.

Come on. I told you, man.

It was a real thing. You guys thought I was

a noob. I'm a mod.

That fucking lady.

She's such a tighty. I quit playing because

I got ass raped in

a video game.

So what are you saying?

Your friend virtual raped somebody

in the game and got arrested.

And that's all you can tell us

about it? Yeah, and I wanted to play GTA

to cleanse myself

of that

knowledge. Immerse myself with it.

Get that ass, everybody. Get that

ass. Okay, crazy. Yeah, that makes

sense.

It made me laugh.

A little there.

I'm going Carlito style. Old

Carlito style. Old school.

When I first met you.

I don't know.

The dog seat fucking cracked me up.

And the dog has been programmed to do something deplorable.

All right, so did we already try Stephanie,

who has had her message machine changed by Dwight?

Have we already done that tonight?

Stephanie.

I don't know.

I don't know if I did.

Let's try it.

I'm still using that caller ID you told me to set things.

Where's the number?

My number's gone.

Hot point refrigerator, model number blah, new in the box for sale.

$450.

That's a good fucking deal, huh?

I got a whole bunch of appliances here.

Whoa.

Scratch and dent sale.

Everything was ruined.

What?

Thanks for having me on.

No problem.

We're sorry.

Your call could...

My number's not working.

There's two numbers to that Stephanie one.

Who knows where Stephanie is?

Let's go down to the message there.

There's a one that ends with 1763.

Oh, okay.

Oh, sorry.

Not formatted.

I don't see it.

1743?

1763?

Hold on.

Yeah, put it in here.

Both did.

I'm running out of stamps.

Good, we're fine.

No, don't do it.

She must have changed it.

Here's another number for the appliance number.

Thank you.

And after this, we have a crazy Indian, and that's it.

Aw.

Aw, nothing.

I got to go to work tomorrow.

We're going to work tomorrow.

Crap, I feel bad, Carlito.

Bad for giving you crap when you're on painkillers.

All right, guys.

man i'm on some too and i don't even know how you were able to do what you do well it's either that

or a lot of pain and i don't i really it's yeah mine's just yeah i forgot i took it too so i was

like did i take that and i was starting to do remember how i used to do like they take it i

don't know yeah nothing i got nothing here no crazy india and i'm going to be hanging up on

you too thank you for joining me tonight thank you

Tooties.

Can I tongue punch your fart box?

Oh, my God.

The bite of them was perfect.

Well, I think I've already settled on the title of the show.

As I said earlier, what did I say that was going to be?

The Search for Foo.

Let me type that in before I forget.

It was quite an interesting show, right?

We had some fun.

Not bad.

I didn't really miss a step here.

I didn't do video tonight.

Just so they feel like it.

I feel like a zombie, man.

I sleep weird hours and I do this GTA Online thing all night.

It can't be right for the soul, you know?

All right, so this will be The Search for Foo.

Thank you, everyone, who tuned in and sent in numbers, including Neon, Dwight, who both joined the show.

Thanks to Milkman, who joined the show earlier also.

so I'm glad he was able to hang out with me

it's not a show without the Milk Bro

thank you to everyone who tuned in

on all our networks

that's the PCN

shoutcast stream

the PLA

aka the Cacti radio stream

and the Blue Planet Prank Radio

stream, thanks to everyone there listening

thank you to Ted Black for letting us

use that as well as Brad Carter

and then of course Mixler

be sure to follow us on Mixler

as well as on our Facebook and Twitter

pages. Head over to

printcallnation.com for all the necessary

links for that, as well as

the links to subscribe

to the podcasts

that we all have available

to subscribe to

and get regular updates

from us. Yes, thank you.

I will catch you guys

maybe during

the week. Maybe I'll do a show during the week.

Maybe, maybe, maybe. Alright, see you later. Bye.

Oh, man, sister, man, sister, she a one in a three million.

Sister, man, sister, she a one in a three million.

Calls (32, 1 h 46 min of 3 h 15 min)

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