The King Of Prank Calls
13 May 2015 · 58 min · 7,982 words · source
Calls (8, 18 min of 58 min)
- Caller mistaken for Tennessee live 1.9 min clip ↓
- Miniature horse trimming service live 4.2 min clip ↓
- Ford Escort seller about wrecked car live 5.0 min clip ↓
- White Castle customer service order live 46 s clip ↓
- White Castle drive-thru prank story live 2.1 min clip ↓
- Wendy's asked about cheese cost live 1.2 min clip ↓
- Taco Bell asked about trash freebies live 2.4 min clip ↓
- UCF alum asked about graduation live 1.4 min clip ↓
Transcript
Hey, what in the world kind of talk you having?
You're listening to an official show on the Prank Hall Nation network machine.
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Thanks for listening to the largest prankhall station in the nation.
I want to say very candidly to my enemies, it is written in the Holy Quran, they plan and Allah plans and Allah indeed is the best of planners.
I have it directly from the lips of the Honorable Elijah Muhammad to me. He said, brother, they have laid many traps for you.
he said you will trip them up but you will never get caught in one of them he said to me there are
two of us backing you up brother allah and myself further from his mouth that the wicked kill their
last messenger or prophet of god when they kill prophet jesus but they will not put that small
all time stuff over on us today you doubt that i'm from god and god is with me and in me then i
say to the government of america lose no stone do everything you can to destroy me and watch my god
allah destroy you and all my enemies so those of you who thought you would come out here
to see a weak fragile decrepit Farrakhan I want you to look again I'm here and I'm strong and I
will look for he promised me that sit now at my right hand while I make all your enemies your
Y'all foots, too.
Yo, this is the 1212, yo, live in effect.
You got the King, Moolah, Zig, Zack, Zigalaw.
Commonly known to y'all as the RZA.
Yo, before we go on to side two or side B of this double CD,
I'm saying I'm going to give y'all a little announcement, man.
For the last year, there's been a lot of music coming out.
This shit been weak, you know what I'm saying?
A lot of niggas trying to take hip-hop and make that shit R&B.
Rapping bullshit, you know what I'm saying?
Or make that shit funk.
Fuck that.
This is MC-ing right here.
This is hip-hop.
We'll say Wu-Tang gonna bring it to you in the purest form
I got the jizz on my side
Killer Priest, Sons of Man
Royal U-Fam, Killer Army
Grave Diggers, 12 O'Clock
Yo, we wanna let y'all niggas know something, man
To my people all across the world
Japan, Europe, you know what I'm saying
Canada, you know what I mean
Austria, Germany, Sweden
Yo, this is true hip-hop you're listening to right here
In the purest form, this ain't no R&B
With a wack nigga taking a loop
We looping that shit thinking it's gonna be
The sound of the culture, you know what I'm saying
All that player bullshit
You know what I'm sayin'?
All that player dressin' up
When this shit actin' like
This some kind of fashion show, man
You know what I'm sayin'?
This is hip-hop right here
You know what I'm sayin'?
This is lyrics
MCin'
And yo
And see, y'all niggas
Who think you gon' become
An MC overnight
You know what I'm sayin'?
Better snap out that fuckin' dream, man
It takes years for this
Cat in the hat, ass rappers
Do doctors, shoes, mother goose
Simple-minded
Stop runnin' up on niggas
With all that wax shit
What up, man?
I'm talkin' about you, MC
You ain't no MC
Niggas ain't made for this
You know what I'm sayin'?
This shit was only built for Cuban links
We told y'all niggas back then
And now everybody wanna change their motherfuckin' name
You know what I'm sayin'?
We come out with a style, everybody wanna imitate our style
And all you producers out there, you know what I'm sayin'?
It's all good to show love to a nigga
But stop fightin' my shit, you know what I'm sayin'?
Come from your own heart with this shit
Know y'all MCs, stop fightin' for my niggas
We told y'all niggas on the fuckin' Cuban link album
Don't bite our shit
Y'all niggas keep bitin', y'all tell y'all somethin', man
It's time for the groove revolution right here
So all my niggas across the world
Leave some motherfucking fists in the air.
And get ready for the triumph.
Because the God is here to take over this shit.
Word up.
Peace.
You know something?
Not only are we going to New Hampshire.
We're going to South Carolina.
And Oklahoma.
And Arizona.
And North Dakota.
And New Mexico.
We're going to California.
And Texas.
And New York.
And we're going to South Dakota.
And Oregon.
And Washington.
And Michigan.
And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House.
Hey, how you doing?
This is Bill.
Phil, you got a TV, a TV machine?
What have you got to remember?
You got a TV for sale?
No, no.
You're talking to Tennessee.
You're what?
You're calling Tennessee.
Yeah, I know.
You put an ad for, I live in Tennessee, and you put an ad for a 65-inch TV for sale.
Don't say no.
We got a 65.
No, we don't.
I'm sorry.
I don't know.
Now, why does it have your phone number here?
I don't know.
Motherfucker.
Don't fuck with me.
Yeah.
Hold it.
Hold it.
We're good.
Let me talk to my wife, okay?
Hurry up.
Yes, ma'am.
I put my husband's phone number on by accident, and I just noticed that.
I'm not a ma'am, you stupid fucking cunt.
You heard me.
I'm not a woman.
Don't you insult me calling me ma'am.
Well, what did I say?
You said, yes, ma'am, like that.
Well, I never even heard you.
I never heard your voice.
Well, it's my husband that's handing me a phone.
Well, why did you say man?
Ma'am, why did you say ma'am?
Because he handed me a phone.
Are you that sensitive?
You could have said sir or ma'am, you stupid.
So stupid.
Why, you a**hole, you jumped up my a**, you little bastard.
No, you little pussy.
You pussy.
Fuck you.
I'll kick your man's a** and then I'll have my way with your a**.
Wow.
Call has been forwarded to an automated voicemail.
Damn it.
Well, yeah, I'm Carlito. I'm doing a show.
A prank call, prank telephone call show.
Music change. Okay, whatever.
We'll play this. I don't want to play this tonight.
This is what I wanted to play.
From Venus to Mars, back to Earth.
Anyway.
Back to the XBO satellite.
All more shit for sale.
MF Doom and I am the Fantastic.
Expeditiously, I'll be on my grizzly.
Fans try to creep me, somehow I always miss me.
It's the Fantastic, put the busy in the beat.
Rocked from the bottom straight to the tizzy
Who is he?
You need to get out more
You need to get out of here
Like some gang outlaw
Standing like Lurch
No herb in the record bin
Called before a random search for curbside
Checking in
It's on, nigga
On and cracking
Like diggum
Lips be smacking
Running off
Hit them offs
They ain't talking about us
Awesome shit they overheard
But enough is enough
Yeah, it's neither here nor there
Black warfare
He did here
Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack
What's that?
You hearing things?
Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack
You wearing your thinking hat
Calls are calls
They try
They can't stop us now
Try to log in here
Get down
Some living packages outside
Nigga, where yours at?
Top down
On a Decatur out on Woodway
Got cash, thinkin' shit, I stay
Fuck what the hood say
Nigga, bitches wanna stop me now
Calls didn't come last year
Feel sorry now
Try to jump shops
Reggie, me or Robby
Ori now
The nigga that you with
Played like Atari now
Lyric
I thought the dots I flowed with
She was never on
I could be skipping through songs
You know something?
excuse me mister do she got a sister do he not to kiss her true she do got a blister
not a movie plot twist like a twister if i needed my meat burnt i'd go to sizzler
paid like a biker with the best crank sprayed like a high-ranked sniper in the west
that's a blanket don't show much pity when i'm in the city i always keep a touch with me
yeah hey how you doing what's going on god bless you i see you got some stuff for sale
You wanted to hire someone to trim a miniature horse?
How many little horsies you got?
I got two miniature horses and two donkeys.
And what do you need exactly done, honey baby?
Their feet are grown out.
They need to be trimmed back, and we're not able to do that right now.
Oh, no.
Okay.
All right.
Well, God bless you.
I could do that.
What did you have in mind for paying for that?
What do you usually pay?
What do you charge?
I'll charge you $10 a horse.
$10 a horse, yeah, that'd be all right.
All right, okay.
Where you at?
Do you need any of the semen from the horse or the donkey?
Because I also provide those services, semen collection from the horse,
if you're breeding them or selling out any of the sperm.
no we're not doing that because i yeah i just um i have a like a horse masturbation machine
and it works on miniature horse pony donkeys any size it's like a what do you do buy that or you
oh i own it yeah it's like a it's like a plastic uh horse vagina and it feels really good for the
horse they i spray it with female uh horse of urine they got that already bad i already got
at that and they get all horny you know and they get the erections their little penises get hard
and then they you know they have their way they fuck they fuck the the plastic vagina well i don't
know if you're kidding or what no no i do the breeding no i also do that breeding so that's
why i was did you need that a minute no uh i'll let you talk to my husband oh okay you're talking
yeah hey boy how you doing how you doing hoss pretty good all right i was talking to your wife
ten dollars a horse or donkey uh to get their horse their feet trimmed you know um and i was
also i also do a horse masturbation to get the semen in case you were breeding them or
selling the sperm um you know national internationally or anything like that i
Yeah, we don't do that.
I have a horse masturbation machine.
I don't know if you've ever seen one in use, but it lets your horse, it's like a plastic vagina that your horse can fuck.
And it ejaculates inside of it, and at the end it collects the semen.
No, all we want is to keep trim down his eye.
Senior citizens, we just, we got these fraying kids.
Okay, all right, so no masturbating the horse?
No, just no.
Okay, all right, okay.
Okay. Um, okay. I mean, yeah, that's okay.
All right. Did you need us to, like, punch the horse at all? Do any horse punching?
What's that?
Oh, just we, if your horse is out of line, if it's being rude or anything, we just punch it.
We punch in the head.
No, all we need is to be trimmed off, you know.
All right. So you don't need me to punch the horse or beat him up?
Um, I also have a service where I put the horse in a horse trailer,
and then I let the horse trailer go down a mountain.
And then we pick him up on the bottom, you know.
We secure the horse pretty well so he doesn't get hurt, but it scares the shit out of him, you know.
Yellow.
Oh.
I don't know if he's gone or not.
I just cut him off.
I made him go.
That's very good.
All right.
We got an escort for sale.
Ford Escort.
It's been wrecked.
the escort has been wrecked my first car was an escort uh it has an excellent motor and
transmission two good doors perfect interior okay maybe for parts and such all right let's
call it the escort i'm guessing it's a ford escort i'm gonna say some other kind of escort
hello hey you're selling an escort a wrecked escort yes uh-huh i just want to make sure
first of all it's a ford escort right god damn it yeah it's a it's a ford escort yeah because
you just put you just put escort there and i didn't know if you meant like a like a whore
you know no it's a it's a what do you call them a zx2 all right what year is that motherfucker
2002 2002 ford escort motherfucker uh how many miles did i have on it do you know before i got
in the fucking accident it had about 120 24 000 i think 124 000 2013 years i am bad i am bad i guess
and well it just had uh it just had a timing belt replaced and uh and the water pump replaced while
they're doing that too but now you're saying it's wrecked i mean how what do you mean by wreck what
What happened, exactly?
Well, he wrecked it.
My boy wrecked it, and it's the...
Your son?
That motherfucker?
Yeah.
How old is that bastard?
Well, not bastard.
Hey, what in the world kind of talk you having?
Well, what did he do?
He messed up your car.
I can't believe that, you know?
I hope you gave him a good whooping.
I hit him in the car.
Hell yeah.
Well, it's a five-speed.
it's a 2.0 engine
and the transformation
and the engine is in good shape
real good interior
it's got two real good doors
it's got a good pussy
nice tight pussy
hello
as soon as I said that
that was it
let's try calm
that was fun
oh this is fun neon's gonna be starting at the top of the hour in about four or five
big old hello hey listen come on look i'm sorry i that's how i talk to my friends and i'm trying
to make best foot forward you know i'm sorry um on a business note only all right so obviously
Obviously, the Escort is not drivable right now, right?
No way you can meet me at the Walmarts, because I got afraid of going to people's houses, you know?
No, it's not drivable.
Okay.
All right.
You got...
It had to be...
Did it get hit from behind, in the front?
It got hit in the front, and I had a little bit behind.
A little bit in the behind.
What did he do?
Did he hit someone in a red light or something?
No, he went to sleep and hit a tree.
Stupid.
how old is he jesus christ thank god he's okay my god goodness our father hello okay are you in
yeah yeah is he okay though my goodness is your son is yeah he's okay yeah he's fine he's still
a teenager well then that's why he didn't whoop his butt i guess he had a scare you know that's
good but i hope you learned his lesson you know you don't drive when you're tired you pull over
you know drink some coffee you know you leave you know what i do i'll leave it that you tell
Tell him this now that I said, tell him Uncle Carlos said, you leave a Diet Pepsi in your car always.
And if you ever start getting tired, just sip on that Diet Pepsi until you get to somewhere where you can either wait it out, you know, or get to your destination.
But no, no, not that.
You just keep taking sips of Diet Pepsi.
It'll keep you up, keep you up.
Just little sips, little sips, little sips.
That's what I do.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah, because that, man, you know, he, I know people that have died from that.
Instant death.
They hit a tree.
fell asleep hit a tree instant death this uh black boy did that once he worked uh he worked
at a uh a perkins you ever been to a perkins to eat perkins yeah yeah he was driving home from
perkins one night and was used to take these back roads sandy back roads back back the bush and he
done fell asleep hit a tree and they said it was instant he was out gone god bless him amen
God rest his soul
I forgot his name
When do you want to come look at it?
Uh well not tonight obviously
It's getting a little bit late
When are you home tomorrow?
Are you working tomorrow?
Yeah I'll be home tomorrow
You're home all day?
Pretty much so
I'll give you a call back
You give me the address
And I'll put it in my Garmin GPS
And I'll get down there
Fuck yeah
Yeah, fuck yeah, that sounds good.
You ain't even asked what I'm asking for.
Well, I got to look at it for that.
All right, what are you asking for?
$500, less?
How much?
Less than $500, I hope.
Well, I figured about $500, the motor transformation and the doors
and all different kind of parts, interior and all that ought to be well worth that or more.
Yeah, a 13-year-old car, over 100,000 miles on it,
and it's already been in one accident and stupid kid fell asleep we'll talk i'll take a look at it
we'll talk we'll talk all right all right my my bud my maximum i can't tell you sir i can't tell
you you know that you know how it works with all due respect i can't start telling you that
well y'all take a look at it can you get uh-huh i think you're i think you're full of
shit sir chris for turkey hey motherfucker you don't talk to me like that you bleeding
bleeding motherfucker bleeding gum what i'm full of shit like christmas turkey what the what did
he say what did he say we got it we got a replay on that later on i think you're full of shit like
christmas turkey something like that it wasn't that but that was a nice conversation we had
funny conversation not a prank call was it was a prank call but
Not the kind I aim for, usually.
Nice guy, though.
I really hope his son's okay.
Maybe he lost half his teeth in his mouth.
Can you imagine?
I should have told him I know a lady that happens to.
We got someone looking to buy a couple loads of firewood.
Really, get ready for the summer.
Buy that firewood.
I'll make sure the antifreeze in my car is good.
Chat room, I'm in there.
This guy, I believe, is looking to buy.
Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message.
One more time.
Tell it how we did the graphing, how you're living, it's all about me.
Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message.
Nope, no firewood for us.
That's unfortunate.
Someone's announcing a yard sale this Saturday.
We'll give the directions.
We're not going to give those out over the air,
but I will tell you what they're selling.
uh women's xl and 2x clothes watch out size 10 shoes big size for a woman men's dress pants
polo shirts ties old schwinn men's bicycle girls clothes size 6 to 14 damn i got some big girls too
damn toys books handmade baby quilt queen size bedspread tea items i have no idea what ut at
at a university of tennessee i guess volunteers right handmade walking stick gift items oh i'd
get that walking stick that'd be dope i want to get a walking stick like i i pretty much use a
cane i think i'm gonna have to use a cane my doctor said to expect probably having to use a
cane for a long time if not the rest of my life um i want to get like a dope fucking wood uh like
engraved fucking cane there was this dude the town i used to grow up he would sit at a bus stop
in the middle of nowhere in town
it was like a residential neighborhood
he sat at a bus stop all day
and all he did was whittle
and he would whittle canes and stuff like that
and he'd sell them, like if you were at the red line
you kind of looked over, he'd hold them up so you could see
and I actually
he was kind of close to the neighborhood I lived in
he was in my friend Eddie's
neighborhood and we'd hang out
and we'd walk over down there sometimes
just to see what he had, he had cool fucking stuff
we were like teenagers, we weren't going to buy canes and stuff
but he did really good
If you had this eagle fucking wood walking stick and the head was an eagle and stuff.
What I'd like to get something would be like the Jurassic Park one that Hammond walks around with.
With the mosquito and the amber.
That'd be interesting.
But that's like one of those thin style little baton.
I don't want that.
I want something...
I got this like graphite black one that's like a big hook.
But that's not what I want to be rocking.
That's sad.
I'm 35 and I'm going to have to use a cane probably forever.
hopefully not we'll see how things work so far so good with the ankle fusion but the main problem
he was telling me is with the ankle fusion since they cut pieces of bone out of me i lost length
in my left uh my left leg so my left side's gonna be kind of you know tilted so he said after a
while probably need to use the cane because i'm gonna get it you know you'll get back pain from
having to walk a little limpy it's fine with me like biggie smalls he had a cane before he died
he got in my car accident he had to rock the cane you know a lot of cool people rocked canes
you know teddy roosevelt rocked the cane rocked it well as a matter of fact i think the cane needs
to come back fashionable canes fuck it i'm bringing it back all right back to prank calls
guys let's do it you know that was our talking segment time to call the yard sale that got me
on the cane tangent i need to get a tungsten skeleton not turbo i'm gonna wait to where
where they can actually replace my leg bone and ankle bone
and fit them together and swap them out with what I have now.
That's going to be what's up.
I'm pretty sure I'll be able to do that before I die, as a matter of fact.
So I'm not really stressing.
There's just some amazing stuff coming in medical science right now.
It's already started with vision, eye surgery and stuff.
They do stuff they couldn't do five, six years ago.
Amazing stuff.
But there's some crazy shit on the horizon here in the next five years.
might change what we think about medicine.
Vox Ox is not cooperating right now.
Another thing to be concerned about, though,
is the problem with our antibacterial defenses.
Our antibiotics are starting to fail.
They're starting to fade out and not working anymore.
What the fuck are we going to do?
We're going to be back in the Middle Ages with no antibiotics.
Possibly.
Unless new ones are found.
can you tell i watch a lot of ice all right trying again to get box socks to cooperate
here we go that's my box socks that's my baby never lets me down and they hung right up
everybody let's call them back and it's hanging i might be dialing them and i can't hear it on
this end and they're probably like fox i'm calling it's stuck in limbo now trying to call
i got about 33 minutes left uh to be on the air until our lady of the network neon will be on the
for her wednesday show she hasn't done a wednesday i think she did a wednesday show last week no she
didn't she skipped wednesday very excited she's back on we all missed her we missed you neon if
you're listening she usually makes it a point not to listen to the shows that are on before her and
i do the same thing if someone's doing an intro show for me a pre-show i don't mind it i love
it because it gets the chat room going um but i don't like to listen to it so it doesn't meld
into my ideas look out there those two space monsters yeah because i'm a prank call legend
and i'm dope and i do dope awesome things guys because i'm a prank called god
and that one's guy again whatever next for sale 91 toyota truck four by four man i always wanted
a four by four when i was a kid not a toyota one i'm gonna get a four by four i gotta get a ford
that was an actual machine let's let it give a few minutes a few seconds here to reset itself
And, and, and, and then
We'll call again
Like right now
Licking a prank spot
Turbo
Hurry up with my damn massage, Turbo
it's gonna be my new intro song turbo
i'll answer it oh dude so speaking about pastries in the chat room i think i forgot
the android releases hang on do i still remember these alpha uh there was the alpha version
then the beta version then cupcake all right d donut eclair f froyo yes i remember froyo
g forget g
jelly beans h was honeycomb i was ice cream sandwich j was jelly bean k is kit kat and
that's where we're at now still missing one i forgot the g what was the g one
andrew g shit shit shit that's good remember for you i remember honey coming up oh gingerbread
that was one that was it that was a big one gingerbread gingerbread introduced a lot of
stableness to it but was still kind of ugly sure we're making a point yes we are on lollipop i'm
not on lollipop i'm still on kit kat i'm still waiting for my upgrade from t-mobile should be
be any day now i'm rocking the galaxy note edge love the fucking phone and as soon as the next
version of it comes up this summer i'm going to use my jump program at t-mobile pay my 25 bucks
and get the new one i'm all about this note man it is so fucking dope it's the perfect size
not too big not too small this looks nice in the hand i got the flip cover thanks to a special
for someone at Christmas time.
It comes with the smart stylus.
Hello?
Hey, I see you got a Taurus for sale.
Yeah, I do.
Oh, cool.
What can you tell me about it?
Was it ever in any accidents?
I mean, what happened?
Just the engine's got water in the oil.
Oh, shit, motherfucker.
What happened?
I don't know.
I think it's probably a cracked head.
Oh, no.
And it's an 03.
How many miles on that goddamn thing?
200 and something.
200 200 000 yeah wow that's almost double what this ford escort i was just talking to some guy
about um did anyone do a lot of masturbation in it or having sex in it hello hello yeah carlos
let's walk right into that ruin your call try him again probably won't answer
for some reason i don't feel like
i figured he would just hang up and that's exactly what he does
and the call ain't going through anyway so we'll kill it uh someone has two front brake calipers
calipers, brake calipers, I believe those are used for determining how much life is
left in your brake pads, right?
Malcolm M. is here to be like, yeah, that's what you got to do is you take the calipers
and you put them on the brake pad.
And you know what's going on.
See how much meat is on your brakes.
Come on, calls, go through, please.
I'm going to restart Vox Off.
Stand by, everybody.
Enjoy the song.
Render onto Ghidra what is Ghidra's
while I fix Vox Off.
Thank you.
That's restarting now
I wanted to see
Maybe the chat room can help me out
Someone on Facebook was asking me
What's the name of a certain song
That I played
During the show that I did on Sunday
I always save what I played
On shows just in case people
Ask stuff like this
I make a playlist of what I played during the show in order.
So I might be able to determine that.
He said it was, let's see, what did he say?
Hey, this is Justin.
Hey, Big Carlito.
I listened to Sunday Night again, the show.
When you call the first horse number with Baz,
what does the hot, funky-ass Price is Right sounding be?
I'll have to do that later.
I have no idea who that would be, man.
I mean, I'm sure it was an MF Doom song,
but I'll go back and listen to the show
and give a real answer on Facebook
I gave a joke answer
but I do like to try to answer these questions for fans
when I get the messages
feel free
I've always thought it would be nice to include
on the website or in the podcast
description
the songs that were played during it
I might start doing that
more regularly
I'll see what the feedback is
I'm sure there won't be any negative feedback
it doesn't hurt anything
No one's going to be like, I hate these fucking numbs.
Do pranks.
Okay.
Now, Mark.
All right.
Looking at the map instead.
See what I can find.
Okay.
Looking at city here.
And looking to see if I can find a place that might still be open.
The Taft Theater.
No hours.
Unless they have an event, they're not going to answer.
I'm not going to take that chance.
Machining?
UPS customer server.
No.
This town is dead.
This is Cincinnati.
I'm moving away.
Ooh, White Castle.
24 hours.
Never had White Castle except for the kind that's in the frozen section in the box.
So you can microwave in three minutes.
Um, I've heard they don't do them justice.
Now, I have had a lot of crystals, which are similar in Florida.
And then I moved here to Pennsylvania in an area where there are none.
There's neither.
Ah, how do you like that?
Oh, dude, crystals are great.
I used to, I had a crystal eating competition once when I was drunk.
I was 20 with my friend Eddie that I talk about.
I just talked about him earlier.
20 years old, and we were, I was drunk, he was driving.
And we were taking a break from hanging out at Andy's place where we were drinking and such.
Oh, I can't see.
It's making me happy.
yeah i'd like to make an order okay can you hold on one second please all right motherfucker
excuse me okay no problem i'm sorry i wasn't talking to you i was talking to andy he's over
here okay i hope you weren't talking to me no i wouldn't say that to you no ma'am no okay hold
on one second i'm kind of busy up here i gotta i'll come right back to get you okay honey okay
anyway yeah so me and eddie get to the drive-thru here's the story me and eddie get to the drive-thru
and we're behind these frat guys from ucf there was a line and they're ahead of us they've already
any place to order at the drive-thru microphone and we're at the drive-thru microphone and i just
start yelling i want fucking i want pizza i want tater tots and eddie's like shut up and the lady's
like i can't understand what you're saying all right you ready there yeah all right so i'd like
to make an order i need two sacks all right two sacks of what two sacks of burgers steamer
uh yeah i need them with meat uh bread onion okay but they come with either just white houses
cheeseburgers jalapeno cheeseburgers can you make them hot come on lady give me a chance you
gotta give me a chance anyway so i'm yelling i want pizza i want tater tots um the lady is
telling eddie what the fuck i can't understand you guys eddie's telling me shut up we're trying
to make an order and the frat guys in front of us start joining in thinking it's funny and they
start yelling at the window the uh manager leans out of the window says none of us can get food
she's like none of you none of you can get food get out big brouhaha started so then we ended up
driving back to annie's place switching cars coming back and getting the food but yeah in
that process i was like all right eddie let's because eddie's a big guy he's a big eater
and we were like uh i told him i'll tell you what i'll take you on so we ended up buying about i
I think we bought three sacks.
So the sack, when you say a sack, it's supposed to be 24 of these sliders.
So we bought 72 of them.
Eddie beat me almost double.
Boy can eat.
I mean, fucker can fucking eat.
Out of the, I mean, I was a fucking, I ate, I got about 12 of them down.
And I was like, oh, he ate his full sack, man.
I think I got like 13 and 14 by then.
I was ready to puke.
He went through the whole sack.
I was like, yeah, I'm kind of full.
And then, like, two hours later, I was picking out of the other one.
Yeah, seriously.
Yeah, man.
Anyway, he fucking beat me on that.
It's a fun competition to do, but oh, shit.
Fucking sliders, crystals, White Castle, whatever.
Shit is fun.
When you get there, you think you can eat a lot if you're drunk.
Things you do when you're young.
We used to have water drinking contests.
See, you could drink as many.
You could drink the most water.
So we'd have just cups, and we'd just chug, chug, chug, chug, chug.
Andy beat me the one time we did that.
I beat him two other times we did that.
We used to fight, play, like wrestle and shit.
Really weird, right?
Really Spartan, like Spartan boys, you know?
They send them out on their own and they wrestle each other naked
and do stuff to each other, you know, just to grow bonds.
Kind of like we were our first college, formative college years.
Yeah, don't gay stuff happen.
No gay stuff.
Hey, let's get back to the prank calls.
while i continue to paint myself in a corner let's call that white castle's back white castle
i hope you weren't talking about me we have about 19 minutes left if anyone wants to join me on
skype if you have my skype and you're my friend you can join me the king of pran calls tonight
render unto carlita he's in the house what's up big jag jaggy jag jag decide he was hanging out
i said he was excited to tune in before going to sleep yeah hey i'll join in for a hot minute
it okay i didn't know if you were just wanting to chill because you said you were sleeping so i
didn't bother yeah about 11 o'clock so whenever when you're getting off actually i think about
18 minutes before neon takes over maybe earlier she tells me get the fuck out you know yeah i feel
you uh italian restaurant why not they're open till midnight excellent how you been everything
good work was good today yeah um tomorrow i'm gonna hit 50 hours already so i haven't had much
time to do anything else it's good money though yes that's true paper i can spend it on hookers
i'm stupid i take all my overtime is time personal time off and i take it but i could
get more money because i it doesn't you don't get your time off a time and a half you get it
just at a regular time uh yeah financially it's better off for me to get the payout
yeah i'd rather have time off you know i just love having the time off yeah i'm a state worker
so i'm super fucking lazy man like everyone there is everyone's like nice day i'll go play
some golf i'm out of here that's awesome yeah having problems getting the calls to pop off
like to actually connect tonight and apologize oh it's a vox ox issue so we're kind of stuck here
Um, let's see if we can get this Wendy's to work and set.
Seems like some numbers work, some don't.
Summers.
See?
A little hitch with that one.
Love this song.
Wendy's, Old Fashioned Hamburger's talking out for you.
Yeah, do you have hambu?
We have hamburgers.
No, hambu.
No, I'm sorry, we do not.
Um, how much cheese kazan?
How much for the cheese exactly?
Like as an upgrade on a ham-boo that doesn't have cheese?
If I want to put cheese on the ham-boo, how much would that be?
Forty cents.
Forty cents?
Yeah, but it would just be a junior cheeseburger.
You guys have a lot of cheese there, huh?
Yeah.
I'm hungry and I don't have a lot of money.
Well, I'm sorry.
If you don't have the money to pay for your food, I can't help you.
Please.
Nope, sorry.
I'm not a free store.
I know you guys like throw out the...
No, I'm sorry.
I can't.
If you don't have money, I can't help you.
at what time is the dumpster filled or trash taken out i'm not telling you when we take our
trash out sorry you have a good day honey bye-bye i'm gonna die motherfucker
all right taco bell instead you want to ask him or you want to not do a prank
ask him i'll ask him do whatever you want or just i don't know ask him when they throw their
There's a trash house so you can get the...
Is it locked?
You just get that lock or something.
People just show up.
Uh-oh, I got it.
Justin Taco Bell.
Hola, Taco Bell.
Huh?
Hola, Taco Bell.
Hello.
Hello.
Hey, what's your name?
What's up?
My name's John.
I have a question if you don't mind answering.
What's that?
Yeah, yeah.
What's your name?
That's confidential.
Oh, shit.
eat it all right no problem confidential um i'm i have a question sometimes me and my boy
crawls we uh hang out a lot outside of our houses that we don't have you catching drift
no we're homeless and we're just trying to look for a good meal uh what time y'all throw out your
trash confidential are you there yeah confidential what's what time you guys throw out your trash
or can we get some freebies at night what time our morning openers take out our trash all right
what time is it i have no idea whenever they feel like taking it out in the morning when they get
here all right since we become such good friends you got any freebies for us no why not can you
make some extra taco meat so that you have to throw it out yeah like be like oops i made extra
also we're not actually homeless we're just urban adventurers that's a good one i'm sorry for
We're walking over there.
Confidential, are you there?
Confidential.
She's probably perioding or whatever.
That's true.
Connie, Connie.
Sorry to walk over there, but dude, I would eat the shit.
Like, if they just gave me the taco meat in a bowl, I would eat the crap.
I would eat it up.
Oh, yeah?
I'd add some rice to it.
They should do that, man.
See?
They should put me in charge of that company.
Put a little cheese on it.
Yeah, I'll fix all their problems.
Oh, yeah?
I don't know how to talk about how to problem them.
Who owns them? PepsiCo?
Yeah.
Or Yumco.
I don't know.
How much time we got?
We got 12 minutes.
Until we're forced off the air.
Speaking of menstruating.
Where are we?
I'm going to shut up.
Here's a place called Red Squirrels.
Oh.
I'm not sure if they're open.
No website.
It'll be called Confidential.
That's a good one.
Taco meat with cheese and rice.
I even sparked a riot
So the school got quiet
And dismissed
Just got tired
Of using my fist
We had some shit
Like knife pipes
Yeah, it would be
A ghetto version
Of the burrito bowl
Damn
Nasty-ass burrito bowl
They just add that
Shredded lettuce
They got that
Shit iceberg lettuce
Just tastes like water
I hate salads
With that shit
I'll eat a salad
But it has to be
The dark, you know
know leafy green nice oh yeah stuff with taste what are you saying buddy oh on a scale of one
to ten how water is it yeah yeah yeah i really like wendy's side salads i've been getting into
those the wendy's yeah it can be good yeah they still have the one with the orange in it that
had the mandarin something something i think so just to get that i had nuts and some orange
mandarin orange um we're leaving that neighborhood we're going to a completely different location
I wasn't prepared to do it.
I figured a short show, I can win it.
So far, it's worked out.
Now I'm stumbling out of lack of places to call.
Jet Sports probably closed by now.
No hours.
Fuck it, I'll call those.
Lowe's. When in doubt, call Lowe's, I say.
Yeah.
That's a great eclipse.
Alright, cool. Great eclipse Lowe's
center. Let's give them shit about Lowe's.
Joe, appreciate it.
No, it doesn't want to dial?
Okay, great.
Damn it.
Let's see if the Lowe's number works.
It's random. Some dude, some dude.
What'd some dude say?
Some do, some don't.
I'm just saying, like, with the numbers here,
for me right now, going through.
Oh, man, you can do it.
I try to kill box office.
I hate it when this happens.
Did you stop doing your vlogging stuff?
Like, you do stuff, but I don't see your actual
daily kind of
vlog thing
yeah
um
I would
but I really
all I'm doing
is waking up
going to work
and going to sleep
yeah
gotcha
maybe one day
alright
well that number
oh me
what's up
oh that number
doesn't work
I keep trying
what's up
me and Yobob
are going to
South Carolina
over the summer
so I'll be vlogging
that for a week
that'll be fun
going like to the beach
the seashore area
yeah
or something
or
People here are really into the Outer Banks
Going there and shit
Pennsylvania
Oh my god
This is gonna end the show
I can't get calls to go through
We're going between
The 21st and something
I'll be turning 21
In South Carolina
Yeah
Yeah
I heard the best place to go turn 21
Is Kentucky and do the
Like the whiskey tours and shit like that
I heard that's awesome
Or you could do like wine tours
I'd rather do whiskey tours
Probably knock you out there
Right
Oh my god
Nothing going off
Let's try somewhere else
Okay, here's a different area
A different city
When did I go to UCF?
Someone's asking in the chat room
i went to ucf between 97 and 99 did not graduate i returned for another year in 2007 2007 2008
no bullshit 2007 i went for another year um i am less than i'm less than a full term year um away
from graduating my bachelor's but after i returned the second time they decided to eliminate all the
the night classes for my major and i had to work during the day so it didn't work out i ended up
moving to pennsylvania anyway so uh ucf's a nice school it's big it's a big school
i can't do anything with this i'm just gonna go off there because
the show the calls will not work thank you mr jack for joining are you gonna be thanks for
having me you're gonna be on tomorrow uh the plan is this tuesday uh i should have gone on
yesterday but uh i had to work a 12 and a half hour day today and i had to get to sleep early
that's cool what's your youtube again uh if you just search jag tv you'll find it
jag tv on youtube all right see you yes thanks brother
it's jag jagged all right so being that voxox isn't working and
me i will be taking over in about five minutes i'm gonna go ahead and turn off the machine
thanks everyone for tuning in this has been a madhouse radio special episode on a wednesday
evening and i have been your host carlito my website is madhouse live.com we of course also
have prank call nation.com that is my main focus right now is keeping my community happy and
And enjoying the prank calls.
The best prank calls on the internet.
All of us.
Our whole team.
Assembled.
Doing it right.
Yeah.
I hope you guys enjoy what we do around here.
We work hard for you.
We hope you enjoy it.
Remember, Sloth is scheduled to be on tomorrow.
He said his plan is to be on tomorrow.
Unless anything changes tomorrow, we should have a Sloth show.
And Friday, Giant should be on at 10 p.m. Eastern.
Followed by Dwight on Saturday at the same time.
10 p.m. Eastern, 7 p.m. Pacific.
Enough ramblation, guys. Catch you on Sunday.
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