Madhouse 10 Year Anniversary Part 1 of 4

I need to know how Skynet gets built.

Who's responsible?

The man most directly responsible is Carl Liddle.

He's the director of Carl Liddle Systems Corporation.

Why him?

In a few months, he creates a revolutionary type of microprocessor.

Then what?

In three years, Carl Liddle will become the largest supplier of military computer systems.

All stealth bombers are upgraded with Carl Liddle computers becoming fully unmanned.

Afterwards, they fly with a perfect operational record.

The funding bill is passed.

The system goes online on August 4th, 1997.

Decisions are removed from strategic defense.

Begins to learn at a geometric rate.

Becomes self-aware at 2.14 a.m. Eastern Time, August 29th.

In panic, they try to pull the plug.

Launches its missiles against their targets in Russia.

Knows that the Russian counterattack will eliminate its enemies over here.

I want to know everything, what he looks like, where he lives, everything.

I have detailed files.

Madhouse Radio is back.

Milkman had something to say.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Today is Thursday.

All journalists are entitled to a service announcement towards the future life of the gay, fat, shopper, cattle-wearing, rental, son-of-a-bitch,

rental mode, take a big hit, sit back, enjoy the ride, and handicap yourself.

My friends, this could be the best thing that ever happened.

There are those who believe life here began out there, far across the universe, with tribes of humans who may have been the forefathers of the Egyptians, Voltex, Mayans, they may have been the architects of the great pyramids, the lost civilizations of Lemuria or Atlantis.

Some believe that there may yet be brothers of man who even now fight to survive somewhere beyond the heavens.

There will be no order, only chaos.

It's an exclusive of PCU Radio, house5.com.

Flight controllers, listen up. You need a go, no, go for launch.

Booster. Go. Retro. Go. Vital. Go flight. Guidance. Guidance go. Surgeon. Go flight.

We're GoFlight from GNC.

We're GoFlight.

Tell me.

Go.

Control.

GoFlight.

Procedures.

Go.

Info.

Go.

FAO.

We are Go.

Network.

Go.

Recovery.

Go.

Capcom.

We're GoFlight.

Launch Control, this is Houston.

We are Go for Launch.

Detain!

There's no drug real from real real.

I can't read this today.

First of all, why don't you shut the hell up?

but maybe he's only a little crazy like painters or composers or or some of those men in washington

hey everybody made it wow look man we're here madhouse 10 year anniversary what

Did you hear we've been on for 10 years now, officially today?

What the hell? You're talking about 10 years?

I'm telling you what, young boy, you sound like a young man these days,

and you don't sound like an old-timer.

And you don't do that good. What are we going to do here, man?

We've got something exciting planned for all our dedicated listeners.

God help us. We're going to do this for 12 hours today, Milkman.

You think I'm going to tap out around hour 9, hour 10?

No way.

You're going to be bobbing and weaving like Ali Champion that you are, brother.

I know around 9 or 10, you whip out the rope-a-dope, and we'll pull on through, and we'll get a 13-hour round out of this thing.

I know how you do things, man.

You pull that old rope-a-dope on it.

Right, right.

Thank you.

I will rope-a-dope.

You know what I'm saying?

I will dope-a-rope even if I have to.

I'll flip it on.

I'll dope-a-rope.

You sting like a bee, man.

Yeah, that's what they call me, Muhammad Ali.

Fluttering on the breeze like a butterfly.

Mr. Ali, that's right.

That's our man right here down.

Hey, man.

That's our man right here down.

Generalissimo.

Whoever's talking to Generalissimo will be running the world 10 years from the moment.

Prank call world?

That's a very small world, Milkman, and prank called them.

But I do run it.

You think so?

I don't go around saying, hey, man, I'm Kanye West.

Prank calls.

But I guess I do act like it sometimes.

times i feel entitled i do you know what's cool about it is your actions speak clearly to the

world of your presence dude and your talent that's why i love you man you're an amazing

improvisational talent and after 10 years man the blossom has grown into this humongous like

rosebush thorns and roses and all man we love you that's very uh sexual innuendo

i don't like that you make me feel uncomfortable saying i look like a rosebush

Because roses are supposed to represent the pussy, the vagina blooming.

Oh, well, okay.

I said roses, rose bush with thorns and all.

Let's see.

What's a nice, like, tough band?

How about a sable palm?

A big-ass cactus.

A cactus pick.

A big-ass cactus.

You got it.

All right.

Hey, Milkman, give me a moment, please.

Let me elaborate on today's machine.

So this is a 12-hour show.

Not a 12-hour show.

I take that back.

I'm going to be on for 12 hours.

I'm considering this four three-hour shows back-to-back-to-back-to-back.

So 12 hours total on the air.

The first three hours, we have some guests, and we're going to be starting going over the best pranks and moments of the last 10 years.

This is our 10-year anniversary.

We've been on for 10 years, back in 2005.

five our website is madhouse live.com that's where you can check out the archives going back to our

first show completely free uh there is no paywall to enjoy our stuff we do accept uh patreon

donations and we have a that's it actually we do have a store but there's no income coming from

that store where you can buy uh spread shirts and such i think that's prank call nation dot

Spreadshirt.com.

Blah, blah, blah.

I'm sure we'll get all to that later on.

But what's important right now is what we're going to be doing here.

In a little bit, we're going to be joined by Tuck.

BigTuckTuckermike.com.

Milkman, you're one of your good friends.

Remember him, how nice you were to him all the time,

and you never got upset about him or started a trouble?

Oh, I love Tuck, man.

You guys, you know, everybody can give me a hard time or whatnot.

Everybody that knows Manley and the Tuck go back a long way.

I love Tuck.

I actually asked Tuck to join the show back in the day.

Tuck was our first artist.

He actually was the first guy to come on and do the artwork for our show.

Yeah, he was.

Tuck was a good guest.

He was our third chair.

We used to always have a third chair.

It was me, Milkman co-host, or me, Andy co-host.

Milkman will be in that third chair.

When Andy left, I moved Milkman to co-host status.

and then we had a big

big tuck filled in there for us

in that. Right, I was on the

continent if you all remember at this time

this is when I first left the island

so as I come in the island I was in

Colorado working off the side of those

big giant

coolers and tuck came on and filled

the spot for me and held on to the position

for quite a while as I transitioned

from leaving the islands into California

through that whole year I worked 4,000

hours. Yeah, yeah. Tuck was right there

man thank god for tucking man helping me out bro indeed indeed all right so this so anyway we're

going to get to we're going to cover a lot of stuff hopefully i can fit everything in

um i am going to aim to do at least some live prank calls especially with our guests as they

join in and out uh now the wayback machine this is the wayback machine brother yeah remember that

mr peabody yeah the wayback machine sure yeah man and it's also an internet service where you

Calvin and Mr. Peabody.

Yeah, if you want to see how much his show has changed,

go to the Internet Wayback Machine

and put in madhouselive.com and see what you find.

You can see how the website used to be.

I was so proud of all that shit.

Like, I knew it was shitty, but I didn't give a fuck.

You know, I was like, hell yeah.

Dude, back in the day, it wasn't shitty, dude.

It was Mac-ing in the day.

For the time it was, there was nobody doing anything like what we did.

Well, there were some other shows at the time.

So we started out, PC Radio was born.

KDK, one day, he had a network, I suppose,

pose with uh ted webb and they went through an expansion phase anyway oh before i forget we're

playing the musics uh the more popular music that we played pertaining to the particular era so you

heard our old intro that tuck made for us tuck made that intro the super long intro that andy

will complain andy all the time was like bro man that fucking takes way too long man you're not

starting your show quick enough like we come here we go to start the show at 10 and it's 10 30 and

And you're just fucking starting talking.

You're going to do a prank call for another half hour after that.

I'm like, you're out of point.

I'm just nervous.

I see you speaking a little loud.

And he's colliding with the early scheduling practices of the Madhouse.

And Andy will be joining us at least for a few minutes later on today.

So I'm excited about that.

All right.

Yeah.

All right.

So as I said, in about an hour, we're going to have Big Tucker Mike.

And Sean Ward is also going to be joining us at that point.

And they go.

What?

Yeah, they've worked together in the past.

They're really good friends, so that's going to be awesome to have them together.

Jen Stewart's going to join around 2 p.m. at Eastern today also.

What a freaking show.

Yeah, man.

Blockbuster, folks.

I'm super excited.

I really hope it all works out.

Later on, we're going to have, later on this afternoon at 3 p.m. Eastern,

it'll be kind of a syndicate radio reunion i have evil arty and jonathan are both going to be joining

us at that point at the beginning of that second part um dino has communicated interest in joining

but he says he doesn't have a facebook messenger he can only post i don't know what is up with him

so i've tried to reach out to him and tell him hey bro just call in you know what i mean

so we're trying to it's still in flux whether or not dino's going to make it because i don't know

what his problem is um uh but at the at least we'll have evil already and jonathan on right

that'll be cool all right yeah definitely we we love having them on we definitely like to have

dino on dino we're asking for to you man please get your technical issues yeah you're he's

operating very september 10th and that's very confusing to me maybe he's on on the run you know

off the grid i don't know uh big andy uh joins us later on today around that time a little bit

it after that and then the big

excitement is 7pm when there is

the official PCU

reunion sponsored by everybody

basically everyone involved

here's what we got going on

and I'm going to give you guys a full update on that

now

at 7pm we expect to have

the following people together on the phone

myself, Milkman, KDK

himself, the godfather of

prank calls, Big Zolar

from the Zolar Party Nation

is going to be on and

And Dr. Lego is scheduled to join us around 7 p.m.

And then we also have around 8 p.m.

We're all going to be chilling and talking about the good old days in the Braille Building

when we started doing prank call shows together in a network fashion.

Then Prankmaster, who was the source of a lot of fun during that era and a member basically of us.

He was like our do-boy back then.

Prankmaster Adam Erlander.

Adam the Prankmaster Erlander will join us an hour later.

And I'm sure that'll make for an interesting interview.

Look at that.

I threw my little pencil, and it hit my KVM switch right on the button,

like dead on it to make a change.

That's pretty funny.

That, dude, that would have been awesome to record.

That was a fucking slick-ass move anyway.

Was the video on?

Well, not on the KVM switch, silly.

That's a piece of your reunion on our third part of our show today.

That's later on, 7 p.m. Eastern, 4 Pacific.

And then after that, starting around 9 o'clock,

It's going to be a free-for-all for everybody in the current PCN era.

I'm hoping as many hosts out there and guests and friends of PCN join in on a great Skype conference

that I hope will lead to many, many prank calls and a lot of fun.

So it's basically going to be like one all-star PCN show.

Hopefully, I know that Neon, and I just want to mention real quick, keep Neon in your prayers.

She has surgery this morning.

She's probably undergoing surgery this morning right now.

nothing too serious it's a routine procedure but everyone keep her in her thoughts keep her in your

thoughts rather and she's hoping to be able to listen later on but she can't join us um but

everybody everyone is invited if you're down with pcn if you're a host or staff or whatever you are

hopefully we're going to have a nice fun show so and also jihad is on vacation he may be able to

get on i think he said he was going to try to be around um but he may not be able to make it

There's a few people who are out today for one reason or another.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, but...

Well, I hope that Neon pulls through, does well,

and we look forward to having her join us and listen in.

See you later, Neon.

Yeah, yeah.

So, hey, let's get to these pranks, because to be honest with you,

we have about three hours' worth of pranks and bits to play around the 12 hours.

So you can see that already cuts into our ability to make live prank calls.

calls right now this is more going to be a retrospective but i am going to get live prank

calls and especially in that last three hours uh so the beginning is going to be a lot of talking

and having fun and listening to the old shit milkman you and me are just going to sit back

right now and talk about the good old times i'm super excited about it um oh my god so we're

going to have a big retrospective of everything i'll look back at the evolution of the show

Timeline, blow by blow

Wayback machine turned on

And engaged in full

I'm looking forward to it, my brother

We're going to bring everybody up to the modern age

A humongous all-star gangbang

Dude, I am pumped

Alright, awesome

Listen, let's go ahead and start off with

Our first, this is our first

Regular target, you know

Every prank call show, every prank caller

On PCN

Gets to that point on their show

Or their career, so to say

or their repertoire in the prank call history of their own

where they get that one guy who's hilarious

and you call him a few times, maybe a few times for a few months,

a few years even, get to know the guy,

a regular prank call victim and a fan favorite.

Milkman, I believe, and everyone would have to agree,

if you're one of those that have gone back and listened to our show,

been with us for the last 10 years since 05,

or you've gone back since finding us to listening to that.

Our first guy like that was Sam at the Dunkin' Donuts.

Now, remember him.

Let's talk about him.

Lonesome Loser found this guy.

And, by the way, Lonesome Loser came back Sunday, Milkman,

and he may be around today to help us out with some numbers.

I wanted to let you know.

Oh, we got the numbers.

Man, oh, man, this is a good day.

God bless our poor man.

We need our man.

Yeah, he's the man when it comes.

Well, I'm sure we're going to talk about him later.

Absolutely.

So this guy, it's basically just, it was a Dunkin' Donuts out in Dearborn, Detroit, which has a high Iraqi and Lebanese population, high Muslim American minority there, reaching majority in some parts of that area.

So this is a Dunkin' Donuts owned by a family.

They later went on after several years to sell this to an African-American family.

But before that, this Dunkin' Donuts is owned by this Muslim family

and managed by Sam, whose real name was Osama.

And he was just real mean, you know, an asshole.

Back then, Andy was on the air and all that.

I was going to maybe save this for later, but I really want to get to it.

So here we go.

We'll talk about this when we come back.

This is Sam the Angry Donut Man.

Dunkin' Donuts.

Your mom.

Hello?

Your mom.

what's this your mom go ahead are you still making donuts tonight yeah how fresh is it

now it's fresh now first like your mom right no it's like your sister your mom oh yeah

come over here i'm gonna show you do you want to talk to your mom you motherfucker

you stupid

hello hey asshole why'd you hang up on me hello yeah hey yeah someone just said the f word to me

Yes, and you are your mom my mom. Yeah, she's right here. I'm down here. I'll show you my mind

I'll show you my sister my mom. I'll fuck you. That's fine. I'll punch you. I know I

Come down here. I'll show you. I'll be fucking over I tell you get a little cock sucking bitch

If you weren't a faggot, you wouldn't call this later. Hey, you don't talk to my boy like that

I'll choke you. I'll choke you. What'd you say? I said you don't talk to my boy like that. No, he's not right

Yeah!

You sound like a bitch that just finished getting fucked in the ass.

Your mom did.

No, that's not right, man.

I'll elbow you in the throat.

That was your mom, man.

You sound like a white trash.

I'll take your thorax and I'll wrap it around your skull.

How would you like that?

Your thorax around your skull, buddy.

Why don't you do me a favor?

I did it.

Why don't you do me a favor?

I did it!

What'd you say?

I did it!

What did you say?

You said, I did it!

Suck my dick and tell me the flavor.

No way.

it tastes like your dad's asshole because you're a faggot who fucks your dad

and i'll elbow you in the skull yeah i like that much here's what you said

that's what you said you said all right so that was angry donut man sam we call them a lot of

different things uh but what do you remember of that cat man you remember fucking this one time

we called we called the diner kind of restaurant real late at night over at uh in the uk like

like England and such.

You know what I'm talking about?

There was a Muslim speaker.

Yeah, well, there was a Muslim speaker there.

Oh, Muslim speaker.

An Arabic speaker there.

And we ended up being cool with him,

and we asked him to help us translate for some guy that we knew.

He's like, all right, whatever.

Yeah, we got Sam, and he explained the whole thing,

how he told him, yeah, he says you guys keep calling him,

and you ask him about washing his hands.

We're offended that I always asked him if he washed his hands.

And he would say it back to me all the time when we call him.

He'd be like, you wash your hands?

Your hands, huh?

This one time he said he loved me.

He's like, I love you, too.

I said, I love you.

He goes, I love you, too.

Okay, bye-bye.

Oh, man, that guy.

We had a lot of fun, but that was...

He was there, I love you, after he cussed you for about, like, 15 minutes solid.

Yeah, I don't know.

One time I sent him into a bathroom to look for a fucking wallet that I lost.

Actually, I think I had it.

Yeah.

Shit, I damn it.

me that i know we've got a lot of stuff to cover um but let me see if i can find sam

wallet i don't think it's gonna find stolen wallet i can't find it but yeah one time i

called him i was like yeah you had a stolen wallet blah blah it was really funny it was

really funny we had a lot of fun with him yeah um yeah but later on unfortunately they sold that

business to somebody else and we lost him well no we stretched him clear until after i was off

island dude so that lasted for almost two or three years we had him around maybe about two

i think yeah i think we called him for about two remember i left island 08 yeah yeah but dude yeah

the i really i'm laughing because i was noticing in the chat room while we were just playing those

old intros and bits everyone was like there's something wrong with the audio it sounds like

it's recorded on a speaker and the thing is you guys don't realize the fucking show was recorded

on a fucking speakerphone back in the day.

That's how this shit started, right, Milkman?

I mean, listen, my original setup was of an audio,

it was an Xbox, a broken Xbox mic, yeah.

You know, the ear part had broken off,

so I couldn't wear it on my head.

The headset was gone, and you just had the mic.

Yeah, so I would straight up scotch tape that

around the telephone, the receiver end of the telephone,

phone or the speaker and the ear by your ear yeah yeah i would scotch tape it to that yeah and i

would just operate it was using a phone everybody it was an actual phone there would be long there

was a lot of music back in the day and if you listen to those old five shows um the music should

be removed on all of them but some of them i just could never do it all and the reason there were

such long music breaks and all this stuff was because it took a while sometimes to dial the

numbers because we used to have to use phone cards cards yeah and i had the cards we had to

actually it was the actual scratch the phone card and dial an 800 number first and put in a pin

then dial your number and hope it goes through or doesn't busy or or isn't disconnected you know so

there was a lot of like whenever you dial the number there was a lot invested to it and that's

where lonesome loser came in because he always confirmed those numbers he would always call

dial these numbers first and make sure someone at least answered and yeah yeah yeah he had a whole

system to it um so like if you're dealing with if you're dealing with him the lowest loser you get

all this information you get an idea of who the voice is going to be their sex any information

about their address or any pertinent information about the contact their number everything i mean

I mean, it's like you get a whole dossier breakdown from this guy.

And, I mean, this is what it allows for the longest time to air Manos to be so nice in his call.

And, you know, that's why I've always held my fist held high for the Lonesome Loser.

Because he was always a very important part.

There's something to be missed about that time.

I mean, the audio quality, yeah, you heard it was off.

Anyway, what I was trying to explain is the reason.

It was recorded in 32.

Yeah, yeah, we recorded and we broadcasted in 24, right?

24.

We would broadcast in 24, yeah.

I would record at 32 sometimes, or 64.

I would record at 64 just for Spaceman.

Yeah, you probably never made it to 64.

Yeah, yeah, I got my own, like, I wanted to do a PCU FM version to simulcast PCU on a 60,

and KDK went ballistic, he got sold out.

That was a scab stream.

Yeah, the scab stream, exactly.

He lost his shit when I did that.

That pissed him off, man.

That was one of the original things that got us on the outside with KDK

because he thought we were going to try and go around him, leave him,

dump him, and not bring him along with us, you know?

And in the end, I was the last one to stick by him,

and all he did was abuse me, and I finally left.

But that's neither here nor there.

That's the past.

we're not going to be

we're having a good time

no

what happened

it's not good or bad

no judgment

it's just what happened

we're talking about the history

it doesn't mean when he comes out

we're going to confront him

we're cool

we're friends now

we're over it

we're all OG prankers

we don't care anymore

we made it

I don't give a shit man

because without KDK

by golly

we wouldn't be here

I don't give a shit

when anybody says

I love KDK

man he's always a boy with me

he's always going to be my bro

that is true

without him

Yeah, I mean, that is exactly the truth.

So, speaking of that, when we started out, when I started out, my first show was by myself.

Milkman was helping me sit on my IRC shit, using Trillian to connect on IRC.

And that's how me and him, we got together, you know, and we became friends.

And he started on from the second show on.

From the IRC of all the things you do.

Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

And all the cars, too.

You know, remember, at that time, I had spent thousands of dollars already on KDK, providing all of the phone cards for all the dialing services, would allow us to do international calling, and that would be rolled out until the Madhouse days.

But I provided all the cards, even for you, Armando, too, for the first, what, couple years, at least.

Yeah, yeah, you used to get one for that.

That's why it took so long to dial, but we would get, like, 10,000 minutes for, like, 20 bucks.

20 bucks.

Something like that.

And they were on trackable minutes, man.

They couldn't find you, you know.

So we used this for years.

It's true, man.

I was back.

But before that, I did a few pranks on my own, just, you know, on my own.

I didn't even know about PCU.

I just did some prank calls that I recorded.

And this is what I presented to KDK when he made, like, a casting call for new shows.

I said, here, check out my pranks.

If you think I'm good, let's see.

And he said, yeah, you're good.

He said, I'm good.

So here was, from that era, here's my favorite.

one of those pranks i did before madhouse so these are like pre-madhouse pranks this one

is called nigga all right this was a this is what got me excited about you and why i actually

contacted you this was a wrong dial by me i was trying to find a uh a cab company ended up with

this personal guy's personal home phone number here we go nigga cab

I don't understand you I don't appreciate your violence with me now we're over I'm the man you

And I need to get this man out of here.

He can't drive.

Now, are you going to help me out or not?

Turkey-ass motherfucker, what is your problem now?

Turkey, you bitch.

Who's in here, boy?

You don't talk to me like that now.

You didn't have a race of people over here

who ran no car taxis over you

to come pick me, man.

I'm not.

You job, turkey motherfucker.

John, what's your name?

Let's be your manager.

But you better start writing.

In about three seconds or your ass

is going to be fucking knowing

something about fucking off, buddy.

Now, I need to know

if you can come pick up the man or not.

Who are you?

We got Dickie Doo's in the barracks.

Dickie Doo?

Yeah.

Go to your place here. I'm about to come whoop some motherfucking ass

because I don't even know who the fuck you're talking about.

How much you going to charge? You got to pick someone up over here to attack the staff.

You know how I'm going to whoop your goddamn ass?

I got your best in your goddamn mother.

What?

In your mother.

What are you speaking?

I know.

Fucking nigger. You're a fucking bitch.

You nigger.

Listen, boy. Listen, boy.

Motherfucker.

You cracker.

You're not free, right?

Cracker. Listen here, cracker.

After you hit your taxi, I'm going to urinate in your gas tank.

You Michael Fraser? I'm working out the wrong number there.

Yeah, you got the fucking wrong number. It's your fucking no-call-this-number game.

Listen here. Listen here. Here we go again.

Listen here.

What seems to be a problem?

What seems to be a problem? If someone's calling up my goddamn phone, I ain't a fucking cat.

Now listen to me. I heard I've had you calling mine, disestablishing plenty of times now, and I'm going to have a trace.

Why are you calling here being violent? We've had some guy calling here making racist comments before. Is this him?

You're saying you're calling him a nigger and stuff?

We ain't calling him a nigger.

What do you have to call people nigger for? What's your problem?

We calling the taxi service and trying to get in touch with Mr. Frasier.

All right.

There you go.

That was Nigger Cat.

Now, Milkman, I made that prank.

That prank was recorded.

That's a classic, dude.

2003.

2003 was when I made that.

2003, dude.

I mean, it's funny.

The reason why I like that call, it, like, captures, like, who you would become, like, immediately.

Dude, that was, like, a seminal call.

it would like kind of describe the character you'd be dude yeah what you're being able to switch

voices you know and coming out like with more than one point of interest to the caller dude that was

like would become classic dude you sit there and shuffle that guy and i heard that like on the air

like this is your debut call dude this is like you're not doing this for five years your debut

call dude and this is like man i was like i heard that i was like man this guy's got talent yeah

Yeah, man, thank you for saying the half-town.

But, yeah, those calls were way before I even knew about listening to, you know,

prank calls online, live shows.

They existed, but I hadn't found them yet.

Then I found PCU.

I found Ted's stream, and I was like, oh, shit, prank calls 24-7 in my Winamp.

Hell yeah, you know.

Hell yeah, buddy, all the time, man.

Same thing as how I did.

I tuned in through PCU on Winamp.

On Winamp, if it wasn't for Winamp, I'd have never found PCU.

And if it wasn't for PCU, I'd have never found Hermano.

So this guy right here is a lucky gem we all are blessed to have along with us all these years.

Lucky boys.

Listen, so there's an expansion at PCU.

Carlito joins.

Yeah.

Guess who else joined?

Mr. Zolar, Party Nation Zolar, who's going to be joining us later today.

And we also had Reklu.

Reclude. Remember Reclude?

Yes.

He started doing shows around the same time.

Oh, yes.

Now, at this point in the history ball, Zolar started the week before mine.

And he had like a big, like we had over 100 people listening on the stream for the first time on PCU

because Zolar brought a lot of people from the Stern fans and all that shit.

And Dr. Lego was around.

Zolar was a big flash, man.

And he was, like, very brilliant star, too.

When he came rolling in, he had the whole crew with the Stern Fan Network.

He had a heist at it.

Yeah.

So we had, yeah, and then Dr. Lego was around.

Reckless was a fan, and he was really good at pranks.

Anyway, so we're all working as a team, and I think the first time we all got together

and had, like, a really good network effort was me and Milkman started this.

We were using that one program.

What was it called, Milkman?

Oh, shit.

Gizmo.

Satellite Link.

They have the satellite link.

Which was later on bought out by Google and became Google Voice,

became the back end for Google Voice, which is now known as Google Hangouts.

Right, that is the voice carrier, the original voice carrier.

We had the original voice carrier before Google bought it.

Yeah, there was Skype, and then there was a smaller one called Gizmo

that Google ended up buying and turning into the massive Hangouts,

which is everywhere now.

Skype, I think, came slightly after Gizmo, didn't it?

because i don't remember skype until a little bit later it was ventrilo first and then gizmo

and then skype skype started around 2000 2001 gizmo started around 2004 2000 okay well okay

it wasn't popular then okay that's that's i guess that's what i'm saying it wasn't popular because

i didn't know about it until much later the original was dialpad.com dialpad.com you call

when your browser you can make free uh uh you're not called the united states via your browser

That was the first one ever, kind of.

Then after that, Skype came around, and then after that, Gizmo came around.

All right, listen, anyway.

We watched Gizmo first, man, because in those days, Gizmo was solid, dude.

It didn't do a bunch of stuff, but it gave you a real reliable voice channel.

Where Skype, you would call up people, and it would sound great on your end,

but on the customer's end, you'd hear a real distant sound.

Yeah, yeah.

You'd hear them, you know?

But, man, so we stuck with Gizmo early on for quite a while because of that.

Yeah, but listen, so we started all, me and Milkman said, hey, Zolar, Lego, Reckless, everyone get a Gizmo account.

We'll work together on pranks.

I'll figure it out.

Yeah, so we figured out where I could do the broadcasting on my machine.

Zolar, I had already done a show that night, so Zolar said, all right, I'm going to take over.

And Nunu hooks us up.

This is where Nunu started helping us out.

Well, he's been since the beginning.

But Nunu was like, hey, there's a conference going on right now.

It's the American Telemarketer Association.

the ATA, and they got a keynote speaker.

He's Jack Valenti.

Now, for those of you who don't know,

Jack Valenti was the former head CEO chairman of the MPAA,

the movie whatever, the RIAA movies.

Yeah, the RIAA.

So, yeah, and there was a lot of controversy with him

over the rating systems in the 70s and 80s and stuff like that,

the PG-13RX fucking problems that occurred during that time.

Anyway, so we start calling this old dude.

We didn't really know.

We're like, Jack Valenti has a funny name, and no one really caught on who this guy is.

So me, at this point, we're going to join in.

We can't play the whole thing because it's a whole show, but I got the best parts right here.

So at the point we're listening here, Zolar, Reclude, me, and Milkman have ordered four different pizza orders to this guy's hotel.

We've got a male escort and a BBW black female escort sent to his room.

And Zohar has been able to order a bunch of stuff from room service, including strawberries, Dom Perignon, champagne, some wine, etc., etc., saying that it's complimentary and having him sign for it, but it's not complimentary.

But this guy is like fucking one of the biggest guys in fucking entertainment.

And he's like, he later on had a stroke and died maybe about two, three years after this.

Anyway, so this is towards the end.

And keep in mind, we've sent a bunch of stuff to this old guy already.

He has the keynote speech at 9 o'clock in the morning the next day,

and it's about 3 o'clock in the morning,

and we're still waking him up, bothering him with this shit.

He's been getting all kinds of calls and gifts and gratuities all night.

Unsolicited.

Yeah, so this is our first collaborative action here with our friends.

Notice how easy it was 10 years ago to just ask for a room number

and get straight through amazing and look how it is now uh we'll be right back i wonder what

influenced the world market 3212 uh 3212 hello yeah did you get uh your complimentary champagne

strawberries from the hotel services yet man yes we got that okay and are you enjoying that

i'm i don't drink uh i don't drink hard liquor before i go to bed can you verify what bottles

they sent you, sir?

Well, I told them to send it back

because I was getting ready to go to bed

and I'm going to get out of here

early in the morning

so I had no need for any of that.

But, sir, when I spoke to you,

you said you would like champagne.

No, no, I didn't.

I said I'd like some wine.

I mean wine.

Oh, so they didn't send the wine?

I got the wine, yes.

And you sent it back?

No, I didn't send the wine back.

Champagne back.

Who am I talking to?

This is Jack Dempsey.

Are you with ATA?

No, I'm not, sir.

I'm with the hotel.

I'm in public relations.

Sorry. At any rate, I sent the champagne back because I was not going to be using it.

There's no sense in letting it sit here and isolate it, but I do have the wine.

And what about the strawberries, sir?

I have all of that, yes.

Are you going to eat the strawberries, sir?

No, I'm probably not going to do that.

All right, that's fine. I mean, it's not necessary that you eat them, but I just wanted to make sure that you got them.

Did you notice what kind of champagne that we sent you, sir?

No, I didn't.

That was Dom Perignon, sir. That was one of our finest champagnes in the hotel.

I know that, but since I'm not going to drink it, I thought it would be foolish to open it up for one glass,

and I just sent it back so you could use it with somebody else.

I see. Well, you enjoy your day tomorrow, and good luck on your speech, my good man.

Thank you.

All right. Enjoy.

Hi, San Diego. May I direct the call?

Yeah, hi. It's Jack Valente in 3212. I'm calling from my cell phone.

Okay. One moment, sir.

Ma'am. Ma'am.

Sir?

her? Yes, I'm in pain. I'm very sorry. I need your assistance. I'm in room 3212, and I've

fallen in the bathtub. I hit my neck on the freaking toilet bowl, and I can't get up.

Can you please send somebody up here and call an ambulance? Okay, what is your room number?

I'm in 3212, Jack Valente. Oh, okay. I'll call Mr. Valente. Okay, I'll send my manager

right away. The door is locked. I don't think I put the emergency lock on it, but I'm going

I need an ambulance. I'm bleeding.

Okay, I'll call somebody right away, okay?

Hurry, please.

Oh, right away, sir.

Oh, my God.

Stop, okay?

Oh, my God.

Fuck the towel. Send me an ambulance.

I got shit right now, my ass. Hurry.

Oh, God, that's so great.

That was that.

That's where I started calling myself Jack Valente all the time.

That's where that started.

That was my...

Before Cross, it was Jack Valente.

Definitely was Jack Valente.

See, that was a trophy moment.

The problem was Jack Valente was becoming too searchable, and I said, all right, well, let me loop the cross.

It's kind of ambiguous.

Hey, do you still have the Pasquale, where's Pasquale call?

I wanted you to at least play that one for me one time, because before we go past the ancient era, man, that is another one of my favorites of yours.

I know it's a short call, but I always cracked up for that one.

Okay, Milkman, the reason I'm not playing it, I meant to mention it,

But the first prank that played earlier during the intro, that was the Where's Pasquale prank that's at the end of that intro.

Oh, okay.

I'm sorry.

I couldn't hear.

It was distorted online.

Yeah, because of the music.

Yeah, but everyone online heard that.

That was our first prank.

The very first prank I did on this show, it wasn't a hang-up or a disconnected number, no pickup.

It was that.

Some guy named Pasquale said, Where's Pasquale?

And they're like, Hey, fuck.

It was a wrong number dial, too.

Yeah, it was a wrong number dial, too.

Yeah, it was just some Dominican dudes in Miami, some Dominican folks.

And we never could call him back.

We tried to figure it out.

We wanted him back.

That's where the guy, Mang, came from, remember?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do you want, Mang?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, yeah, so then after that.

Speaking of Mang, that's how Colonel Clay, he loves that one, too.

Also, MST3 Clay Mang.

now one of my favorite pranks of this era uh was almost ruined by milkman because of his bad audio

back in the day milkman decided to keep talking through a prank call i had to edit it greatly

in order to salvage the call i remember i got so mad i got so sore dude i got some shit i think i

remember this one dude you gave me some big shit i had no idea what's going on like a year later

or I got my ass

greened in private.

You're a senile

motherfucker sometimes.

All right, so

in this one here,

I found a place

called Grits and Grocery

out in fucking Alabama.

And I'm thinking,

oh, shit, they got grits.

Grits, okay,

this is the way.

I got in trouble for this.

I got a bad spank

for this fucker.

But actually,

this prank here was,

I used to get

the most positive

feedback from this prank

for people that I sent

to my site for the first time.

Like, oh, that's your

best prank going.

So when I made

that cd called how's your fat ass doing it was named by milkman that was one of his old sayings

in his ham radio days um this was i featured this as the the first prank on that cd kind of like

the single off of it so real quick while i run and take a wee wee this is grits hey right sir

you got it all right yes sir so you're gonna make up your mind or what make up my mind about what

Is it grits or is it liquor?

It's grits.

So I can go in there and get some grits right now?

You got cheese grits or ham grits or what?

We got them in a pack.

You can buy them and take them home and cook them.

Fuck that shit, man.

I don't want you to make my grits for me.

We don't make grits.

Then why do you have grits in your first name?

Get out.

Asshole.

Why do you ask this damn many questions?

Because if I'm going to drive down there and not waste my gas,

I'll tell you what, gas is expensive there, old boy.

Sure is.

Yeah, well, it is.

Well, shit, I think it's false advertising.

You ain't got time to listen to all this bullshit.

What you want?

How do you make grits?

If I go down to get a pack of grits, you eat grits, fat boy, or what?

Yeah, I eat grits.

All right.

How am I going to make it?

What, I take this bag of grits and throw it in some water?

How do I do it?

Damn right you make them.

You can do them any way you want to.

You're a fat fucker, aren't you?

No, I ain't fat fucker.

I'm a pretty good fucker, though.

What did you just say to me?

I'm a pretty good fucker, though.

How dare you talk to me like that on the phone?

I dare you to talk to me that way.

You just did the effort.

I'm just calling for some drinks.

Who the hell is it?

It doesn't...

Who the hell is it?

This is Bo.

Who?

Bo Steen.

Bo Steen?

Write it down, you fat fucker.

Bo Steen.

How do you know that?

How do you know I'm a fat fucker?

Because I can hear it in your big, fat, wally-ass voice.

What can I hear in your wally-ass voice?

You hear...

I hear a bunch of bullshit.

That's what I hear.

I'm gonna go down there and make you eat my shit out of my ass.

I got a damn 38 that says you gotta go make me do it now.

Oh, I got you on tape threatening me.

It's over.

You better give me some free liquor.

I ain't giving you shit.

there and give you some she's gonna punch you in the mouth you fat redneck i'm gonna go down there

you're gonna make me some grits and i'm gonna have sex with you you're gonna go down there i ain't

down there i'm up here because i'm up here north i'm in new york oh who is this i told you my name

is bo steen i don't know bo steen i'm a good old boy from town and i'm gonna go down there you're

gonna you're gonna make me some grits what which town don't make don't change ring no bell with me

You're such a cunt.

You're a damn liar and son of a bitch, too.

You're a stupid cock and you're a liar.

If you don't tell me what the hell you want and what you call me.

I want some grits.

I said G-R-E-T-Z.

I told you you could go to the grocery store anywhere and get grits.

Well, I want grits from your place because your place says grits.

I ain't going to sell you none.

I don't like the attitude.

You don't even know who I am.

I'm going to go down there and force you.

Well, I said I didn't know.

I'm fixed to hang up.

You and me are going to make it for me for free.

Then I'm going to have anal sex with you.

No, you're not having no anal sex with me.

Yes, I am. You're going to whack your lips.

No, you're not.

It's going to be just like when your cousin was in town.

What cousin?

Your cousin, girlfriend, mother, sister, wife.

Who?

Your cousin, boyfriend, mother, sister, wife, cousin.

You can go to hell, too.

You can go to hell, you damn Republican.

Who is that?

This is Bo Steen, I said.

Who is that?

Bo Steen.

I don't give a damn. I don't know Bo Steen.

Now, what's your name?

We lost him.

Yes, hi.

I was wondering if you'd like to make a donation to the homosexual movement of South Carolina.

What did I just get through telling you?

That you wouldn't make me go back here anymore.

Look, boy, I'm going to have sex with you.

Don't call me no boy.

I ain't no boy.

I'm old enough to be your father, boy.

Man, Gritz, man.

I love that guy.

Yeah, man.

Gritz, man.

I told you I don't know no bullshit.

You ain't going to have no anal sex with me.

Hell no, you can't.

You better, you fucking, whatever, dude.

So, yeah, those are the early days, Milkman.

What do you remember from those days?

I'm talking, like, 2005-ish.

I just, it was a lot of shit we used to do back then.

Holy crap, man.

It's so long.

Ten years, man.

Well, back in those days, you got to remember, we had a weird time slot.

So, I got to put everything in perspective.

We started out on Thursday night, okay?

Okay, in the old days, the best nights of the week was Saturday, right, or Friday.

Friday and Saturday.

Friday, everybody come home from work, you know, maybe instead of going out,

they sat down and listened to the radio, listened to calls.

Or Saturday, if they didn't feel like partying, they'd come out and listen.

Or they were shut in.

But we got stuck with Thursday, because that was the only slot available.

Yeah.

Because, look, KDK had Wednesday and Saturday.

Zola got Friday, right?

Yep, Zola got Friday.

Because he was before us, and he was smart enough to pick that.

So we got stuck with basically one of the worst days of the week, besides Tuesdays, Thursdays, is before the end of the week.

We had a late night at, what, 10 o'clock, and we're trying to deal with people, right?

So everybody's in bed.

There's nobody to answer.

So residential calls really was off our list.

That's when it's mostly starting out with doing a lot of more business calls.

Yeah, that's why I remember so much of our calls being business calls and less about people early on because of the limitations of our slot.

lot yeah exactly exactly yeah that's but this offered a great challenge to the great one here

our our hermanito my brother because this actually made him develop his skills around businesses and

then start honing in on people which will be later they had limited exposure to people but

this would give him a challenge that he would develop a whole new characters bunch of characters

he called yeah uh the that's we started looking into doing international calls which is something

and we started here no one did that shit really it's the first place to do international calls

we had the 800 cards yeah because yeah we had the we could dial those out with the phone cards and

we realized well um you know australia it's it's the afternoon you know we started finding you

were so what islands are you know english-speaking so we find guam and uh we did a lot of the

caribbean islands back then memories to call puerto rico sometimes we did a lot of calls

to the virgin islands too man virgin islands english yeah uh saipan we used to back in the day

um yeah that was enough an english wake-up call that's how we got to the english wake-up calls

because we had some people were requested in our chat you know all the time you know

some people were requesting uk calls yeah some guy no one could do that yeah no one was like do

yeah so then that's that was the first time that international calls now were on the pilot at this

the time at this time it was only domestic calls people mostly in their neighborhoods yeah but

definitely yeah reaching out of our time zone because of our poor slot we ended up reaching

to the world keep in mind that there's a five-hour difference between here and the uk and england you

know etc etc britain so when we call it was super late at night so we you know the the uk wanker

calls the wanker wake-up calls whatever it's called now um i think we're the ones that kind

of started that because we wrote we would always we didn't start it what do you mean because i i

used to tell these other guys come on here i invited people to come on the show because i

had international cards and we could call england yeah so we started the first you know wanker calls

because no one did else had that capability that's what this was some we's corner because

at that time katie k didn't do these calls he thought they were bullshit just the way it was

Because we took that market.

Yeah, yeah.

So, yeah.

Wow.

There we go.

Man, just because of all the limitations, dude.

Look at how much we grew from those limitations.

Yeah.

Well, we're scheduled for a break in about 30 minutes, 15, 30 minutes,

so that we can get Sean and Tuck on the line.

So we've got a little more time to kill,

so let's go ahead and play some more of these best of segments.

I'm going to get my Skype up and running now, dude.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Did you have sweet kisses?

Was she going to join us to intro the...

I'm going to have to tell you that, unfortunately, there's some health issues with the family.

Oh, no.

She's not available.

Okay.

She sent the best wishes to the show.

All right.

And we'll try to listen.

That's fine.

But let's do that then.

So, a friend of yours, Sweet Kisses, sends in some really epic numbers.

Now, the first one we're going to talk about here is the dude, Charlie Patton.

Milkman, he was a hypochondriac, right?

Kept saying he had sick.

who had only a few months to live.

Charlie Patton.

Yeah, Charlie Patton was a friend of hers,

and he all the time would come up with some illness,

life-threatening illness.

You know, it was cancer of the neck, cancer of the back,

cancer of the nose, you know,

and he was going there as an attention grabber

for whatever reason so that they could converse on the phone.

So she would give us this character

because she knew how he was like a pain in the ass

and he was stupid and funny and would fall for anything,

and that's how we got the number.

or she forwarded it to the air monitor

me. Right, right. So I

call in with my new character

here, Father McQuarters. I haven't done him in

ages, but basically an Irish

Catholic

priest.

This was like the Advent Inn. There was

no Father McQuarters before this call.

Yeah, but the character ended up

becoming Father McQuarters, and I took the idea...

Right, you invented him on this call, basically.

That's what I'm getting at. Phil Henry

had the

character Father Quarters.

I think it is, Father Quarters, who sounded

just like him. It was my version of

Phil Henry's Father Quarters. I did Father McQuarters.

And it was basically an old...

You took a little cue from that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. From the legend

Phil Henry. Phil Henry's a fucking

legend, and one of my greatest

influences in my

madhouse career has been Phil Henry.

There are others, and I'm sure I'll get to them later.

But! I love Phil Henry.

So I call him as his priest, say, hey, we're

going to heal you, we're going to do a prayer. He's like, oh,

I'd love that, yeah.

Yeah, you know, so I get him to dunk his cordless phone into a tub half full of water in an effort to heal himself.

This came back in the time when cellular phones really hadn't really taken off yet.

These are like pretty expensive still and shit.

They had.

Everybody had these stupid, like, wanky, like, cordless phones that you plugged in that had little antennas and shit.

This is that kind of era.

Everyone had cell phones, but people still had cordless phones, especially old people.

at home right at home okay all right so here's uh charlie one of the our first one of the first

biggest suckers that we ever had and one of the best prank calls we had back from this era this

is charlie putting a man who puts his phone in the tub okay let's go ahead and turn the shower in and

don't make it too cold not too hot halfway in between okay all right okay can you put the phone

a little closer to it so i can get close to it please all right okay can you i need you to when

When I say so, I need you to put your right hand out towards the water.

Are you ready to pray, my son?

Okay.

Okay, I need you to say very loud, in the name of God and Lord Jesus, sir.

I can't hear you.

I need you to say, in the name of God and Lord Jesus.

In the name of God and Lord Jesus.

You're saying it wrong.

In the name of Lord God, Jesus.

In the name of God, Jesus.

I make this water holy.

Now, splash your hand in the water.

Okay.

Now, go ahead and stand in the shower.

Yes.

Okay.

Are you standing in the shower?

No.

I'm by the bathtub.

I mean, not the tub, but the sink, because my shower has got a chair and stuff in it, and I'm still dressed.

You're still dressed?

Yeah, I've got some evening clothes on.

Okay, okay, so here's what we're going to do.

I need you to take the phone and throw it into the shower, but do not go in with it, but just put it inside the water.

The phone?

Yes.

Okay.

Is the water on?

Oh, sir, come back.

I'm here.

Okay, is there any water at the top?

Yeah, I'll put more.

No, you need to fill it up.

Okay, what is the phone exactly now?

It's right in the center.

In the center?

Yeah.

In the center of what? Of the bathtub?

The water, basically.

Okay, and how much water is in there?

It's up to the top.

Up to the top?

Okay, what I'm telling you is to put the phone inside the tub with the waters.

Put the phone inside the water.

Yes, do not go inside, but just...

No, no, no, no. It is holy water. It won't do anything.

Put the phone in the water.

Okay.

Here it goes.

He just fucked his phone up.

Man, oh shit.

He did throw it in there, though. That's funny.

Are you sure that guy isn't dying, man?

I'm going to hell.

So many different hypocrite hypochondriac diseases and fears.

Yeah, that was it.

That was what was begot from calling that old man.

Later on, we called him, right?

And he said, yeah, the phone's dead.

He picked up the other phone.

I like how they captured the electronics shorting it out.

Yeah.

The audio of the phone actually shorting out in a pool of water.

Yeah.

I don't think that would have...

If you would have dropped it while he was in there, that's not...

it wouldn't kill you you wouldn't there's no way that that doesn't have that much power no more

than about nine volts so there's not enough to kill anybody you just ruin the phone basically

yeah now if it was maybe later on that dried out i'm not sure if you ever dried it out yeah you

could dry it out unless it's submerged for a long time i don't know it's just like if you get a

cell phone it gets underwater you know same thing but he was funny because like he was a nuisance

He would call and just bug the shit out of her.

And what's really funny is, like, the call, before you hear what he just played, there's a big setting up.

Going through all this stuff, getting him all jazzed up to how if Carlito, like, he follows Carlito's orders,

that Carlito's going to offer some miracle cure by this random, like, priest that called on the phone.

Yeah.

You know, to cure this guy's random, you know, his sickness, his hypochondria.

You know, he don't tell anybody.

So he's, like, all for it.

They come for many years, you know, you play that game.

And then finally, I guess, several years later, from what we know,

you ended up getting sick at some point and passing away.

I know, man.

Listen, we got to...

Immortalizing these calls, man.

Charlie Patton still lives, man.

God bless you, Charlie Patton.

Okay, listen, I got to take that first break because it is past 1 o'clock.

I'm going to get my Skype on.

Hmm?

I'm going to get your Skype on.

Before you go to break, turn me on the Skype.

I'm going to hang up.

Okay, I'll do that.

I'll do that.

But I will do that.

Yeah, sure.

When we come back, we got Big Sean Ward and Big Tuck should be joining us.

What else we got?

I don't know.

We got a bunch of stuff going on today, man.

I'm quite, like I said before, quite intimidated by this whole process.

I hope everything works out.

I'm going to hang up, man.

So you call me on Skype, okay?

All right.

I'll call you on Skype, buddy.

All right.

He's gone.

All right.

So, yeah, don't go anywhere.

i'll be back uh after this we are going to be playing um the mouth night mouth night was an

event where i made up a new station there was a lot of drama going on with pcu and i said fuck it

i'm pissed off at this so me and tuck made a like promos and we we announced a fake website called

called 98.6 the mouth which is ambiguous as to what the actual url is you know um kdk really

thought and zolar really thought that i had done this that i had broken away and made my own

fucking thing my own network to compete but in the end i said hey it's just a joke ha ha ha anyway

so we'll be playing that during the break uh so yeah i got nothing else for you be right back

Don't go anywhere.

Stay tuned, kiddies.

Yeah.

We're late.

After this.

Coming in.

At madhouselive.com.

Go on.

Why are you telling us?

This radio will be back right after this.

Tonight is going to be the most historic night in the history of prank call underground.

Not only the radio station you're listening to now, but every...

I'm telling you, this announcement here, Mr. X, this announcement tonight is so awesome.

I am so excited about it tonight.

night this is groundbreaking in the realm of all internet radio that's ever occurred in the history

of internet radio would you not agree with me see this is this is going to change the face

of prank calls on live on the internet forever if you think zolar was an amazing thing this

announcement we're giving you tonight is even more amazing than zolar's first show where he

He became a fixture.

It's more amazing than KDK's first show ever.

It is more amazing than what KDK did with a man with a mutilated penis a few weeks ago.

And we can guarantee you that Saigon will always talk shit about it.

Yes, and Saigon will always talk shit about it.

That's very true.

Luckily, this is bigger than anything that's ever happened in Internet radio history,

what we're announcing tonight.

So be tuned tonight.

Little Evelino speculates I'm going to become a woman.

No, absolutely not.

Appleseed asks if it's a gay orgy.

Yeah. Look at all these speculations. It's flying.

Ted's making an announcement also. He probably has to go take a shit.

Jill Rosenthal speculates, am I pregnant?

No, I am absolutely not pregnant, although I have been checked for that twice before.

Athena pregnant?

No. No, no, no. She is not. She is not. Athena is not with child.

But here we go. The announcement, everybody.

The announcement, everybody.

I can't do this, man.

What is it going to be?

The announcement, everybody, is that I have created the most powerful team

in the history of Internet radio, and we are splitting up PCU starting tonight.

We're taking the best and the brightest of PCU and outside.

It is absolutely insane who this is.

But we have created, between I and several others, Milkman included,

the new station, the new stream that we have.

We have bought a new server, but everybody, I present 98.6 to mouth.

That's right, everybody.

That is our new stream.

It is 98.6 to mouth.

It is going to be online starting Monday.

Everybody, our new stream that's going online on Monday.

98.6 to mouth.

That's right, because none other on Saturday night is going head-to-head with KDK himself,

himself, the man who I believe is the only one among us who can actually take on a force

as strong as KDK, none other than Cloned Homegrown, 10 p.m. Eastern, 10 p.m. Eastern

every Saturday night.

Can you believe it?

The news coming in here, 98.6 amount.

Cloned Homegrown every Saturday night at 10 p.m. Eastern on 98.6.

I'm excited about it, dude.

It's going to be awesome, man.

What do you have to say about your new show?

Anything that we should know about it?

Rock.

It'll be fun.

Great.

Great, man.

That's it.

There you go.

That's all I need to know.

You have that to look forward to, motherfuckers.

It's going to be fun.

I can't wait for Coach Joe.

Pretty nice.

98.6.

I don't know.

That's the most hilarious thing I've ever done in my life.

Joop is sitting in submission at themouthradio.com.

That'd be awesome, too.

I don't know why I love 98.6, The Mouth, but it just sounds funny,

so that's why I decided to name this drink.

98.6.

It's a good one, man.

I love it.

We know that.

Everybody, the closest you're ever going to get to a Jupe on 98.6 The Mouth.

I'm so excited about this, Jupe.

Jupe, you're going against Zolard Friday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Go ahead.

Now's your time, Jupe.

Take the floor.

I will say something, but you have to put the 98.6 The Mouth before me really quickly.

Okay, let me try to turn it up so you can hear it.

You probably won't, but I'm playing it right now.

Okay, good.

If you want a show, our contest right now is, and I'm going to make this announcement right now.

Here's the contest.

We are offering $500 worth of equipment that includes a laptop with all the software you need installed.

We include two headsets and speakers, and we also include a lot of software that you will need to make sure we're going to hook you up.

Anybody out there who wants to do a show and thinks they have it, get in touch with us at 98.6themouth.com.

Sidekick took his turn every single combination of the website.

It's so fucking easy, man.

Milkman's already posted in the chat room.

98.6themouth.com.

It is not that bad.

M-O-U-T-H, everybody.

96.

98.6themouth.com.

Earth Dog is.

I thought you said .net.

Yes, .net also, though.

We got them both, .net.com and .cc also.

I'm sorry.

What about org?

No, not .org.

You can't get a .org.

You know that.

You know better than that.

98.6, the mouth, you're on the air.

Yeah, hi.

I'm loving the website, man.

Hey, what's up, baby?

How you doing, brother?

Great.

I'm sorry you had to find out, you know, on the air.

Yeah, I've been at the website and asked how much you guys have invested in and everything,

and it's just awesome.

It's just fucking awesome, dude.

I mean, anybody can go to it.

Yeah, I'm really excited, too.

I know.

I'm going to enter the contest, and maybe, you know, I think I probably have the inside track,

but I'll win the computer and all the accessories, and then I'll have a show, too.

Could you just spell it for me once?

Because I have a pencil right here, and I want to listen, but it's really hard to spell.

Have your eye out.

Hey, why do I have 10 on the spot?

The number 9, the number 8, the number . . .

Wait, wait, hold on, hold on.

98.6, the mouth.

No, you've got to spell it.

98.6, the mouth.com.

What comes after the 8?

6 comes after 8.

Do you not know what a 98.6 is?

Mr. X, I think it's time that we go ahead and answer you.

I called the police.

I said, they've stolen my rental car, the Plymouth Horizon.

The policeman said, I guess they took it for a joyride.

I said, you know, I don't think you're listening, asshole.

The car is a Plymouth Horizon.

It is not a joy to ride.

This is a car that goes 45 miles an hour with the wind.

And if you actually turn off the air conditioning, you supercharge the little fucker to 48.

I got a nosebleed. I was having so much fun in the car.

I didn't want the piece of shit, so I was staggered to find out that somebody took it.

They sent a policeman to investigate the case.

He'd been in the United States for six minutes.

It couldn't have been much longer than that because he did not have a grip on our language.

Verbs, verbs eluded him.

He said, and I'm quoting because I haven't got the time or the energy to make shit up anymore.

He said, how you money make.

And all I could think was, there's not enough deodorant for this conversation.

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him.

This is on ACU.

Hear that whistle blowin'.

Huge intercourse comin' up in the cold world.

Daddy ain't around, probably out committing felonies.

My favorite rapper used to sing, check, check out my melody.

I wanna live to myself.

A wrap here in the Madhouse, as I used to say back in the day.

Thanks, everyone, who's joining us.

I've got Milkman here with me.

Milkman, ha!

Oh, yeah, ha!

Have money, so!

Yeah.

Good to hear your melodious tones, man.

This is a hell of a great day, my friend.

Yeah, yeah.

We're running a half hour behind schedule.

Good to be here with you again.

Running a half hour behind schedule, unfortunately, Milkman.

We've got to get back on track.

Okay.

All right, let's keep moving.

Thanks, everyone, for listening to the 10-year anniversary.

I've got two of our guests today.

the first two guests we got special here first of all is sean ward big sean ward what's up

man how you been so it's stellar man just like all over the place good good good we'll get to

that in a moment we also got tug big tucker mike tucker mike.com show your titties gentlemen

i remember back in the day when i was nothing but a 30 something year old i laughed about and

And then I discovered the great and powerful internet voice that was Carlito's Madhouse.

And I am proud to be here today on the 10th anniversary of the Great War of 2000-whatever-it-was.

2005.

It's good to have you, Tuck, man.

Show your tits.

Show your titties.

Where did that ever come from, show your titties?

I think, didn't I say that to some guy once about spring break?

I was like, spring break, I gotta go show your titties.

Is that where you got that from, I think?

I don't know.

Probably, I don't know.

But he used to say show your titties a lot.

So, Milkman, these two, we haven't had them on, especially Sean for a while.

Sean!

Yeah, it's been a minute, homie.

We're gonna do, if you want.

Welcome back.

I got some numbers we can do pranks with, but.

Oh, man, I'm ready for all of that.

What have you been up to?

Man, I'm making YouTube videos, man.

I saw that.

You've been doing pretty good on there.

I'm going to be 100,000 subscribers on YouTube in like two weeks.

Oh, wow.

Really?

Snap.

Congratulations.

That's good.

Everyone, be sure to go to Sean's.

Is it the Sean Ward show on YouTube?

Yeah, the Sean Ward show is where the videos are.

I do all the superhero comedy shit.

There you go.

Everyone, go like his videos and subscribe to his channel.

You're hereby commanded by Toledo.

Or else.

Damn you.

The Superman is hilarious.

Yeah.

Yeah, the Superman, Batman battles.

i saw batman versus what the hell did batman fight spider-man spider-man that's the one

by batman versus spider-man yeah yeah that one's been number one on my channel it's at almost 11

million views it's been number one on my channel for years but there's a new video called spider

verse prank and flash mob it's about to take it over okay all right cool everyone look out for

that it went uh i just know batman and spider-man are fighting and i just there's like a really

annoyed hispanic guy like sitting on a bench or something he won't move he's just like

he finally does though yeah he finally does but he's so fucking annoyed each other with the the

food trays that's when he gets up yeah yeah yeah wwe style yeah he uh he didn't get the joke i

guess because everyone else had a good time with it no he's just you know every so often you hit

one of those people who is just like i'm not here for fun fun sucks i'm not doing it i'm serious i'm

I'm walking to work.

Leave me alone.

I have my briefcase.

Yeah, it was a weekday night when we shot that.

He probably was on his way to work.

Working the night shift security at a grocery store somewhere.

Oh, that's the worst.

That's my guess.

Yeah.

Let me see.

Let's do some pranks real quick.

Let's do some live stuff.

What kind of themes have we been working with today?

I haven't done any live pranks yet.

I've been doing retrospective, but now it's time for some live stuff.

We're going to mix it up.

I've got some people who have announced yard sales

Starting Friday and today

Okay, we can work with that

Okay, is that something we can work with?

Good

Would you like to take the first one, Sean?

Sure

Awesome, awesome

Yard sale Friday and Saturday

From 7 a.m. till question mark

Okay

John Ward, don't call me again

My goodness, what a great day

Is there a name or is it just nobody?

They didn't put a name

They said they're on Fudge's Chapel Road.

Fudge like the chocolate.

Do we know what city this is?

This is in, should be Rogersville, Tennessee.

In Tennessee, okay.

They're next to Volunteer High School.

And what's the name of the street again?

Fudge's Chapel Road.

Fudge's Chapel Road, okay.

They're selling knickknacks, crafts, clothes, and tools at ETC.

Okay, cool.

All right, here's our first prank of the mini marathon.

start dialing one you

fuck case for like 60

years

don't worry I got

another one

okay good

your call has been

forwarded to an

automated voice

messaging system

I'm going to set the

caller ID to a local

one here so we have

that's a good call

people in the chat room miss katie k that's all they're talking about i know he's gonna be on

later i'm so excited oh shit where's he at he's been ducking for a while he hasn't really been

into the scene and he had some issues for a while but we love him and he's gonna be coming back i'm

so excited yeah katie k he would have um person forwarded this however it's just a scheduling

we're we're doing all those guys at seven i was i know you can't make it unfortunately seven i

I thought they were coming out like noon.

7 p.m.

Oh, my God.

7 p.m., 8 p.m.

Yeah, I know.

We're doing the afternoon shift.

Yeah, yeah.

The early shift we're doing here.

All right.

Here's the next yard sale.

Three legacy players.

This one's an old St. Clair market.

They're next to a diner, and they've got clothes, purses, shoes, fabric, vacuum cleaners, and housewares.

That's a lot of things.

Well, you got to.

Sometimes you put things you don't have to get them to come out.

And you say, you know, oh, no, no rain check.

Sorry.

10-4.

Hello.

Hi.

Hello.

You having the yard sale on the weekend?

Today and tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

You having the yard sale tomorrow?

We are.

Nice.

I was going by there one time.

I saw some items that I really like.

Are you guys selling some items?

We are.

All right.

Well, if I come by and I pick up the items I want and I slip on over the diner next door to get a quick bite to eat,

Hey, you think you could hold on to those items for me if I pay you in advance?

If you what?

Just while I went over to the diner, I was wondering if I pay you in full for the items,

if you could hold on to them for me while I'm in the diner.

Yeah.

All right.

Now, what if I were to come out of the diner and pay you after?

Could you still hold the items for me?

Yeah, that'd be fine.

Yeah, okay.

Well, in that case, why don't you just take the items and put them aside for me now,

and I'll come pick them up immediately as soon as I'm done at the diner tonight.

night we'll just skip the whole process of the yard sale what items are they well you had a few

blu-ray movies i was looking at looking at i saw a few things in the front yard some

decorations some gardening decorations are you even one of the trees i would love to

dig it up and take it with me if it's for sale i don't know what tree you're talking about

oh just the one that's in the front corner of the yard there i don't have a yard sir this is

in a parking lot no beside the parking lot is some grass and growing out of that grass is a tree

and i just when you hear the beep beep it's gone

oh boy uh i'm gonna try to call back see if i can get in on this

I love the old music.

Yeah, I thought you'd like this.

There ain't no easy way.

I don't do music no more.

Oh, I do, yeah, but this is like the older stuff.

We don't play it that much.

I love the old music.

I more like the stuff we play a lot.

That ain't no yard sale.

Is it?

Do I have no yard?

We're having a lot sale.

Hello.

Yes, hi, I was calling about your lot sale.

My what sale?

The lot sale you're having this weekend, Friday.

I don't have a lot sale.

You're selling things at your home, yard sale?

I'm having a yard sale, yes, I am.

Okay, all right.

I had a question about some of those items, the shoes.

What size are they?

You just have to come look.

Are they women's shoes, men's shoes, or both?

We have both.

Okay, all right.

I was wondering, you don't have any grass or trees up front, I understand.

Can I have some of, like, the stones or the bricks that you have?

Can I buy those?

I'll make you an offer.

No, you can't.

Can I buy, I want to buy the east wall that you have.

Do you not have a job?

No, I just buy things.

I retire.

I can understand why.

I retired and I buy things.

Wow.

I love the idea of a ticket or something.

She's in there, man.

I'm going to try to call that one before that I have a job.

You have a job?

Yeah, I buy things and sell them on eBay.

Buy trees.

I'm a distributor of trees.

There's another one.

Let's see if they pick up this time.

Hello?

Hello, you having a yard sale tomorrow?

Oh, wait, listen, I have gone by there and I have seen a few items that I have just had my eye on since the first time I saw them.

Do you think you could allow me to get access to those items tonight?

I could just come by tonight and pick them up instead of waiting until tomorrow for the yard sale?

Because I really got to go to the dentist to get this root canal.

Well, I'll make you a deal.

You just leave the back door open.

I'll walk on in and leave the money on your counter.

I think that my grandparents...

They will be here tonight.

I think so, yeah.

Okay, great.

So I can just come by and kind of go through the house and start helping myself.

I'm going to take up a tally on my way out and we'll just leave the cash on the dresser.

Speaking of the dresser, when you sell it, is it going to include the contents?

Ma'am?

Yeah, she was hanging.

There ain't no easy way out

Very good, very good

Stomp song

Yeah, I love this song

Stomp

That's how you dance to this song

You stomp

You stomp real slow

Like you're in a prison line

You know

It's

called The Cut You Down.

She's not going to pick up again.

LOL, people dancing to this in a club like they're in a prison fucking work place.

Studio Electric Slide, everybody.

All right.

Someone is looking to purchase four or five cross ties.

Milkman, what's a cross tie?

Is that for a car or for a railroad?

what is it what cross tie cross tie cross tie c-r-o-s-s tie yeah that's you talked about on

a railroad track dude it says cross tie i don't know i'm asking you you know what a cross tie is

i think it's like a kind of cumberbund kind of thing isn't that what jesus wore when he was

crucified i think it's a force for a car maybe a friend in the car i think when you're going to

get crucified they give you a cross i think it's for a stabilization part of a car cross tie cross

Cross member, cross ties, fuck, I don't know, dude.

That one's a good one.

Talk, do you want it, or?

What are we doing?

He's looking for cross ties.

Okay, oh, come on, son.

We are unavailable to take your call.

Please leave a message.

Yo, I wrote this cross tie rap, and I wanted to perform it for you.

Cross tie in place.

Anyone can hear the rap.

Smack across your face.

Hey, we got a free six-month-old male German Shepherd and a white metal bench with roses or a concrete birdbath or a weight bench workout station.

Hey, we got a lot.

We could have a choice between a German Shepherd, a bench, or a workout bench.

What about the workout bench? Does it come with weights?

Yeah, right? That's good.

It's a station.

This is Workout Station.

Last per hand, carrying them.

Maybe it's one of those, like, the ones with the bands.

Carpentry kind of thing.

Speaking of jeans.

You doing a tuck, right?

Uh, yeah.

They pick up.

Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging.

Man, fuck your call.

All right, who's next?

Someone has a 1965 Gibson Country Western guitar.

All right.

It has a straight neck and the bridge is stable.

Everything is original except the tuners.

Asking $2,000.

Milkman, is that a good price?

You're a guitar expert.

Oh, he's on hold.

Milkman.

Oh, is that a good deal for a Gibson guitar, 1965 Gibson Country Western guitar for $2,000?

Gibson Country Western guitar.

What about it?

$65 for $2,000.

Is that a good or a bad price?

$65,000 for $2,000?

That's a fucking steal.

What's wrong with it?

Is it a broken ass?

Yeah, it's a dirt-climbed ass.

It says it has a straight neck and the bridge is stable,

everything original except the tuners.

That's what it says.

Fuck, dude, that's...

Yeah, hell yeah, dude.

Yeah, that's worth a couple thousand.

Yo, dudes, I'll be right back.

All right, Sean, we'll be here.

All right.

Tuck, can you work with this?

Yeah.

That's Milkman.

What's the help on the side?

Oh, Milkman, you can do it.

Hey, this is Penny.

I'm not available to come to the phone right now.

Oh, come on.

Hello, Mitch.

Looking back at your

Flucker Tuckers

and Mean Means Guitars.

Get back in.

Hello?

Hey, how you doing?

I saw your ad for

65 Gits.

Hey, so

what's the story on it?

Is it restored? Is it vintage

all the way through?

or uh you know we're um uh you know we need some more pluckers um you know uh my outfit's called

uh checker pluckers and uh need some more pluckers so uh we're looking at uh is it still for sale or

what y'all think where where did you see the ad oh in in the internets my nephew showed me

media, Internet, and it said there's six of our goods.

You can look for people.

It's original.

It's not a reissue or anything like that.

The only thing that's been changed are the tuners.

Everything else is original.

It plays really nice.

It's not what I would call a collector's grade.

I mean, it's not in excellent condition because it has been played.

Yeah, I've been, you know,

you know uh sometimes aging makes it sound even better seriously yeah oh yeah yeah um it's uh the

thing about biscuits and is during that time during the 60s they had to taper the neck that

was tapered so it does have that it has a slim neck all right uh hey milk milk you there i was

gonna get him on this thing about the um he's gonna uh yeah no i know it's like uh you know

you know the two so uh do we finance the car for it or should we just get moment out of the house

to sell that because she's willing to sell the thing sounds sounds like what we're looking for

i might have to sell the house what the heck's wrong with that thing you said things falling

on a part?

The Tudor's

ain't original.

What was the

problem with it?

No, I'm just,

you know how

we are with

the financing.

I get the

guy on the

pennies,

we can get it,

but we need it

because Sucker

Plucker is

the dream.

I mean,

I got a whole

heap of bottles

here we can

turn into.

Will she accept

some bottles?

We got quite a

bunch of these

returns here.

I mean,

they're pretty,

they're shiny,

they ain't

dusty no more.

we we spent a whole truckload i could offer that would be more than the price of your guitar

anyway yeah are you looking at maybe going to about uh thousand five hundred

uh thousand uh seventy five hello ma'am can you hear me yeah

you know what i don't think this is a legitimate call or well how legitimate does uh someone

one who wants to uh you want you want to dream have to be bottle but don't worry you know what

we're talking about i'm pretty i'm pretty firm we're gonna get you know the cash is gonna be

for real we're gonna get real money so you don't worry about that that we're just talking here on

on the side well we could turn that in and make you get your cash

i don't think you have enough bottles for two thousand dollars that'd be

No, I do.

I drive a tractor-trailer, so when I drive a tractor-trailer, yes, ma'am, yes, I do.

I have quite a bit of bottle.

I said more than a guitar is the value.

If offered to you, if you turn it in, you'll probably make twice the amount as a guitar.

If you don't want to do that, then I have to go down and take it, get the money for you, but it'll be.

Okay.

If you'd like that, if you want the tractor-trailer, we can bring it by.

It's not a problem.

We'll bring a whole load of the bottles there.

And that'll be double the value if you start easy.

What kind of rich are you going to have when you're driving for you?

What kind of bottles?

The 10-cent returnables.

You got 10-cent returnables.

They got a bit of a tint color, you know.

They all just go mason kind of.

They're pretty bottles.

They're vintage, too.

Get them old screw caps, lead screw caps on them, you know, preserve jars.

Preserve jars.

you know i would i would rather have some green back you know instead of bottles so

well i mean the value is the same well actually we we do make a good deal more on the box

you can't go in there neither okay you know i don't know who i'm talking to there's two

different people i think the one with the deeper voice is milk didn't you call his name milk yeah

Yeah, with milk. Milk, milk.

Yeah, Mr. Milk, that's me.

I delivered a lot of dairy products.

A lot of guys called me Mr. Milk.

I was telling you I had a whole trailer full of stuff.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

A lot of bottles here.

Yeah.

You know, I think I'm just going to hold on to it.

Tucker Pluckers.

Do what?

Tucker Pluckers.

That's our band, Tucker Pluckers.

T-U-C-K-E-R-P-L-U-C-K-E-R-S.

Tucker Pluckers.

This sounds too much like fuckers to her, I think.

I'm back, by the way.

Hey, welcome back, Sean.

I lost my shit when she's the first person to ever say milk.

What?

His name is Milk?

She thought that.

I didn't even believe she heard it.

I've never heard that before

where someone's actually done that

awesome stuff

thanks, Doc

that was hilarious, man

I'm so good to hear your voice again, bro

alright, so

hey, let's play another one of these best ofs real quick

so I don't fall behind any further than I have already

play another kid by the tucker pluckers

tucker pluckers

I don't even buy them on CD

milkman tell us about uh debbie mansfield we call her for years called her for years

uh we she finally changed the number to one we couldn't get anymore but she was another

number for a friend of yours right yeah okay sweet kisses also knew snow and charlie patton

And she knew another good one she brought to us was Debra Mansfield.

Debra Mansfield was this big, big, big, like, pill-popping alcohol.

They used to drive a bus.

School bus.

Anyway, there was the school bus, yeah, in the Indianapolis area.

And there was a little altercation there at one point in time

when we had received information about her driving habit.

Anyway, that number became real popular, and that's how we got Debra Mansfield.

That was sweet kisses that brought her to us.

We called her over the years and bothered her,

and finally when she told me to kiss her pussy

and she changed her number

and never got her back.

Let's play that real quick.

White guys looking at her assholes.

She was talking about all kinds of crazy things.

She was really crazy funny.

Let's play that real quick.

Debbie Mansfield, enjoy this.

You can call your lawyer, you can call your pastor,

it doesn't matter, but if you don't come in tomorrow,

you better not be driving.

Down the highway, the interstate.

Interstate, Maine.

We got you on camera also.

What is my wife's number?

Ma'am, I can't get that out over the phone.

You know that.

You know what?

You may be a mass murderer or anybody else.

You just don't have to take me to court to do what you got to do.

What's the big deal?

At 10 minutes to 12 tonight, you're going to call me and you jack-mask me and you can't tell me what I've done.

You were down I-70 and I-0, ma'am.

You were tracked by the cameras at the intersections.

I had a car.

I don't have the color of your car.

I don't have time to do that.

I drive a school bus, so was it on my job or in my car?

It was a yellow bus.

No, and you know what?

You got me wrong there because I don't use interstate on my run.

Oh, really?

No, I don't.

Well, not according to this information here.

Not on the interstate.

I'm not on interstate in my bus.

My route is in the city streets.

Let me ask you a question.

Would you pass a drug test if we were to ask you to do that right now?

Oh, yes.

I don't do drugs, and I don't do alcohol.

You know, you call me a pastor, and I feel why I am treated.

Well, that's not what your pastor says.

What pastor?

Your pastor of the church and your parole officer.

I ain't got no pastor, no parole officer.

I'll tell you, you got the wrong...

God damn it, woman.

Don't you talk to me like that.

God damn it, don't you call my house number.

God damn it.

And you better...

Hey, Debbie, what's going on?

What is it?

It's Jack Valente.

How are you, sister?

Jack Valente, Jack Valente.

We did a scan on your bus.

Apparently, you took the governor out of the bus.

Who did?

You did.

Who went out of the bus?

You paid someone to take the governor out of your bus.

Oh, here we go again.

Well, you know why he throwed you a banana?

Horse.

Because you was sucking his monkey's dick, you poor-ass piece of white, trash-ass filth.

Don't you call my house no more.

I haven't found out who you are.

I'm going to blow your ass away from you.

You're going to suck your mama's cock, you nasty fucking ass.

Freaking all you white men ain't nothing but asshole fuckers and lickers and shit.

Don't call my house no more because I hate you pepper-wood-ass motherfuckers to me.

And you kiss my pussy.

There you go.

Oh, that's good old Debbie Mansfield from back in the day.

The second word, ass.

Yeah.

We called her on up just until about, like, 2012, and then we lost her.

So thank you, Debbie.

That is the defining call right there, dude.

That is, like, so Deborah right there.

That is, like, oh, my Lord.

That is pure gold.

Yeah.

Now, Sean, hey, Sean, you remember when you came up, came down to Florida and you stayed at my place?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, man.

Yes.

I'm sorry there was a really crappy turn of that convention that year.

I felt so bad.

Yeah, well, you feel bad, but you didn't organize it.

It was just weird.

Like, yeah, I remember they put it, like, in some weird spot for the first time.

Yeah, I don't even know, man.

It was just fucking, like, I remember it was on, like, a horse stable or something.

It was like a horse stable in the fairgrounds.

Yeah, a fairgrounds horse stable.

Yeah, that convention, that was the only year they did that.

And then the next year they went right back to the convention center.

It was so weird.

Oh, jeez.

Well, it was a bad time.

Well, I keep wanting to come down from MegaCon, but they keep moving MegaCon later and later in the year.

Like, it used to be that it was in, like, January.

Yeah.

And then it was, like, awesome, because you get to go to Florida in January.

But now it's in, like, April and turned into late April and May.

It's like, what the fuck?

Yeah, they keep moving it past.

Yeah, they keep moving it for some reason, because, well, they're having to move it because of the other conventions, I guess, that are starting to, you know, since then have sprouted up.

I guess they try to taper them.

Well, a buddy of mine was just at a Florida Supercon in Miami.

you ever go to that one heard about it but never went to yeah my buddy jason who uh i make a lot

of videos with he lives down there cool and he he's in uh he's in uh melbourne florida okay which

is up near orlando are you still near orlando uh no i moved to pennsylvania actually pennsylvania

like the state yeah yeah my wife athena she uh is from up here so we uh we moved up here a few

years ago yeah yeah now you're living in a you moved from a warm place to a place where you got

winter and then i slept on you don't even know this story i slept on ice a year and a half ago

and had a compound fracture of the ankle.

Fucking hell, dude.

And I'm still healing from it.

Never would have happened to me in Florida.

God damn it.

Yeah.

That sucks.

I know.

Should have taken it from you.

You're like, fuck the ice, man.

Fuck the snow.

Oh, man.

This place is fucking whack.

You were fractured in a skull, too, Sean,

but you can't tell, can you?

Can't tell what?

You fractured a skull, but you can't tell, can you?

Well, that I could tell.

I was just too nice to say anything.

I love you, brother.

these motors are not running as fast and there's a weird clicking noise

well i i didn't really get the gist of it was it was it cosplayers that are like at a table like

they're the unofficial guest or that is like walking around the aisles and somebody says

can i get a picture and they say sure give me 10 bucks yeah that's that's just like it was

well if it's that they're just walking around and trying to charge for pictures well they can't do

do that because for the same reason why i couldn't walk around and just like bring a poker table and

set up a table wherever i want and start selling comic books right if i want to sell comic books

i gotta buy a booth space and do that so i have no problem with a cosplayer charging money for

pictures but it's all about what's kind of what's fair and what's an appropriate venue like that's

just not cool to just go in and start conducting independent enterprise in in a comic-con where

all these other people have paid like thousands of dollars to to be there and to have that

that privilege of conducting business there to rent space and and sell their products and stuff

yeah it's unfair to them and you go in there and you say you make a killing compared to some guy

that had to move all this crap and bring it down from some other state a lot of times you know

what i don't mind like a lot of people throw a fit and try to get pissed i don't know how much

you guys know about this shit but like especially the females who like put on costumes and travel to

all the different comic cons a lot of them who can get away with it or even some that can't

are starting up these, like, GoFundMe pages

where it's like, they're like,

fund me to make my costumes and go to these Comic-Cons.

And so I see Facebook posts all the time

from girls, like, talking about the women that do that

and how horrible it is and why don't they just get a job.

And I don't got a problem with that

because it's like, well, if you can get away with it,

why wouldn't you?

Yeah, it's on their off time, too.

But in that thing of, like, you're a cosplayer

just walking the convention floor,

you know, that's got nothing to do with cosplayers

charging for pictures and everything to do with,

with somebody doing business unethically.

Well, I mean, if the convention would set up a system, let's say,

where you pay a fee to be able to do that, that might be something different.

Yeah, that would be interesting too, but then we could draw the line

because as soon as you've got all of these people walking around

that have come there to make money to get their pictures taken,

well, now you've gummed up the works because people are not walking as fast,

everything's taking longer because they're doing these transactions,

actions uh it gets clogged in the aisles and now that now the vendors are mad

fire hazard you know tripping hazard and all this shit so i don't know i just wouldn't even be able

to try to imagine the most likely thing is they're going to clamp down on it and say uh or maybe

they'll have like a just a zone like they'll have some like just open up a ballroom in the

convention center and it's okay that's the room for people that want to charge money for pictures

I mean, the whole scene is shifting to people

You gotta pay to get in that room

But now you're getting into like

Now there's gonna be people that are gonna call it

You know, cosplay shaming

You know

Oh yeah, we segregate the

You know, or like, you know, furry shaming

Well, I don't know

I mean, anytime that there's anything

That people get, you know, their emotions riled up over

And get excited about

There's gonna be people

Following immediately

immediately wanting to make a buck off of those people so whatever yeah totally well just like

life is what you can get away with right indeed it is i guess whatever you can get make money

and get away with making money exactly yeah for the most part what do you make money

you know what i want to do i want to make money yeah that's what i want to do

hey uh i've got a newspaper delivery job here posted okay anyone want to apply for a newspaper

paper job sean you can do i'll apply for it i'll just come right out of the money now i'm an ex-con

your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging all right instead of that we

have a central kentucky horse farm looking for barn help i could help out in the barn oh man

that's great work right there yeah central kentucky scenery's nice yeah the chicken tastes

Tastes good.

Oh, yeah.

You could be friends with a nice horsey.

I want to be friends with the Sanders family.

I'm calling about the ad I seen about the job for the barn hands.

Yes.

How would I go about securing a position as the barn hand?

At the moment, we are accepting applications Monday through Friday from 1 to 4 p.m. at the office.

Am I too late for that?

No.

Tomorrow's still Friday.

Friday, so you still have today and tomorrow from 1 to 4.

What time is it today right now?

2 o'clock.

I could still make it.

Okay, come on in, fill an application out, and we'll go from there.

All right, one quick question.

Could you tell me where it's located?

Yes, we are at 3964 Winchester Road in Lexington.

Hold on, I was writing this down.

Winchester Road, Lexington.

How do you spell Lexington?

L-E-X-T-O-N.

Hold on, I've got to erase.

All right.

Now, the other thing is, is the barn at the same address as the office that you just gave me the address for?

You just need to come to the office to fill the application out.

That's what we're doing right now is filling an application.

But what I'm asking is, is the job on the same premises?

Possibly not.

I don't really know where they're hiring for right now.

Okay.

Just because I've got a restraining order, I've just got to make sure I don't violate at the workplace.

Okay.

So I just want to make sure that the location was good.

Is the location good?

Sir, I don't know about your restraining order.

I don't know.

I can't go 50 feet.

You can't go 50 feet of what?

You can't say it.

What are you trying to say?

He's got a watch on.

I can't go 50.

Cannibal.

I can't go 50.

I can't go 50 feet of people.

50 feet of it.

Where are you?

I can go 100 feet.

I just can't go 50

I'm going to be in a cage the whole time.

I'm in a portable cage.

Alright, we've got another job here.

Experience landscape professionals, supervisors, and workers only for landscape design, build, and maintenance companies.

Design, that sounds artsy.

I can do that. I speak Spanish. Let's do it.

It's a three-oh-nine

Do you speak Spanish?

Spanish?

In my box

Yeah, speak a Spanish?

No

Oh, that's fine

I'm looking to do some landscaping work

You're looking for a position

Or are you looking for someone to do the work at your

Oh, I'm looking for a position

I round up them boys all up

And I have my assistant here, Big Tucker

He's got a big whip

He cracks it around him

It's a big, I mean, you know, whip is a, you know.

It's got a cowhide whip.

It's not a real whip.

It's a figurative whip.

Yeah, it's a cowhide whip.

He hunted the cow himself and shot it in the wild and made a cowhide whip out of his skin.

Metaphorical whip.

Yeah.

He cracks it real loud like, and he's like, get over there, boys.

I don't touch him, by the way.

It's good.

Yeah, so for the supervisor position, would I be in charge of watering the, doing the watering of the Mexican employees?

Yeah, do I have to water them, you know, like take a big trough and fill it with water so that the employees can drink out of it?

The water is filtered, by the way, just so you know, any dirty water.

Yeah, hello?

Spray-dilation.

Do what now?

Have I already applied? No, not yet.

Okay, so if you would like to apply for the position, you can come in at any time and fill out an application,

Oh, you'd be more than happy?

She said that really fast, what she said.

Yeah.

What do you mean by more than happy?

I definitely would give you that application to him.

Yeah, but you'd be more than happy.

You'd be, like, ecstatic or something?

Is there anything else I can help you with?

Would you be ecstatic, would you say?

If that's the word you want to use and that's appropriate, it would definitely fit.

Oh, nice.

Okay, would you be excited and moist, maybe, even, a little bit?

I'm sorry.

Sorry. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Would you call yourself rather more...

Hey, what was your name?

My name is Brittany.

What's the weather down in Brittany?

What's the weather like in Brittany today?

Is there anything else I can help you with?

Is it musky?

Thank you so much.

All right, you're welcome.

You have a great day.

All right, bye, hon.

Is it pushing down there or what?

Got a little out of control there.

What happened to Milkman?

I heard like a car crash.

Did he get in another car accident?

Yeah, he was in the middle of a car crash

while he was on the line.

Oh my god, seriously, I think I heard him get in a car crash.

Holy crap.

Alright, let's try to call him.

I swear to god I heard like...

Oh, no.

Oh, he's on the road again.

I really think...

Still!

He just keeps failing.

What

we lost Bookman forever.

What happened?

Did you get in a car accident?

Yeah.

What?

I ran off the road, man.

I'm back on the road now.

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I was just kidding.

You know big shit?

It sounded like you ran off the golden gate.

It's a magic star.

Just swerve him back and rail him on right now.

Damn.

Tuck, do you want to could switch?

I had to go to the nearest drive-thru.

I mean, I couldn't help it, man.

I pulled over real quick.

Yeah.

So is that really all you got going right now, Sean?

Is that, you don't have any comic writing, comic book projects?

Well, here's the thing, man.

I've had a whole bunch of ideas for comic projects.

And every time I think I'm about to get going on one, like something new happens with my YouTube channel.

So over the last year, I've just kind of learned to stop making any plans that are not for videos on my YouTube channel.

So I actually got in touch with my sister recently because she's about to graduate from animation school.

cool so when i finally do the the big comic book project i've had in mind for a long time

i'm actually going to write it and my sister's going to draw it so then we can sell it on the

whole angle of like you know the brother sister thing and then she can be the one to like you

know do all that you know basically all the work of drawing the bloody things it takes a long time

and i just don't have that kind of time anymore so yeah i'm just putting a video up every single

week on that youtube channel and i committed myself to that in january 2014 and it's now been

been over a year and a half with a video every single week uh when i made that decision a long

time ago uh that was like my my shining you know the north star that was guiding me was the dream

of a hundred thousand subscribers so now that we're going to be there in a couple weeks i've

got you know i'm in this kind of blessed and fortunate position to have to like address that

question of you know what do you do after you've achieved the dream because like yeah so so i'm

smarter about it this time because you know you knew me in a whole other previous life when i

I was like, I had a job on TV and I was doing all this kind of stuff.

And it's like, I was living a lot of dreams there too, but I wasn't like wise and smart

about it.

I wasn't, you know, treating it with the attitude of always wondering what next.

I was treating it more like the game was over and I'd won, you know what I mean?

So I wasn't really ready for it when it was time, you know, when that ended and it was

time for a new thing.

But, uh, so with this one, I mean, I always work hard to just keep staying hungry and,

and, and stay urgent and stay putting a video up every week.

And it just, you know, beautiful things happen and surprise me and everything takes care

of itself and now the channel is doing really well and we're going to have a big party for it

a hundred thousand subscribers party here in toronto during fan expo so a lot of great stuff

going on congrats man yeah i remember you you and me standing about nine and a half nine and a half

years ago on the floor of the hard rock uh the hard rock uh club in oh yeah downtown disney or

universal city walk universal city walk and you telling me i'm going to be on that stage one day

I was like, yeah, man, I really think you do, out of all of us.

Well, that still will happen.

It still is a possibility in the likelihood.

Yeah.

Just wait till my music videos start dropping.

Yeah, dropping.

My jewels.

Yeah, all right.

MC Sean Ward.

Yeah, up in the place.

MC Realistic.

What was it?

MC Stylistic.

No, MC Concept back in the day was the prank call voice.

MC Concept, that's it.

Thank you, thank you.

Colin 7-Elevens being all like, hey, how do you get me on the cover of the magazines?

zines you sell? Do you have a photo studio in the back?

Who does the Photoshop to make sure

that my grills are gleaming?

That was one of my calls.

Who was the old black lady?

Oh, Mabel.

Yeah, I don't even know how to do it anymore.

Old Mabel was the old black lady.

I forgot my cane in your store.

There's a lot of that.

There's the confused

old Chinese lady.

The old Chinese

confused crying Chinese lady.

lady there was chocolate and and then uh fuck what else was there oh there's a mr paulson from

head office where i just call like you know stores that are part of a corporate chain and

just start insisting yeah at office and telling them everything they're doing wrong and see how

much they'll let me get away with from you know leaving the store unattended to putting me on the

phone with customers all right um hey i'm gonna call a let's see what is this call again uh four

Four Seasons Hotel in Miami.

I'm just going to mess with them.

That's actually a recurring theme that occurs through many of our calls, Sean.

Is what?

The call and the corporate calls, man.

It's so easy to mess with those people.

Corporate calling.

Yeah, the corporate calling has taken off like crazy on Prank Call Nation.

It's big.

Yeah, it's big now.

I think it's on the computer.

Yeah, we've done these calls to the Planet Fitness gym.

Yeah, it's went to some new places there with the horn.

So you're going out to see Ant-Man tonight.

not understand sean are you going to a preview screening of ant-man i'm kind of excited for that

just they're doing a good job getting a spin a second franchise uh marvel is you know they got

the the avengers line and now they're moving on with uh guardians of the galaxy that was a big hit

yeah and then ant-man is the big surprise this year and we'll see how well it does i mean all

the the reviews are all saying it's awesome so how does he get his powers in wait he he worked

in pesticides or something?

No, the guy who is the Michael Douglas character

made the technology many years ago

to shrink down and be Ant-Man.

So he gets this new guy to put the suit on

and do on a mission.

So his powers, he can get real small.

Yeah, so he puts on the suit

and the suit's got technology

that can shrink him small

and make him be able to move like a bullet.

And that's why he can beat people up

while he's small.

does he have the triple the strength compared to a human like they say

like i don't know but uh we will find out and i will report back to you on that matter after

i've seen it yeah i'm excited to check that out uh what happened we were calling the four seasons

it did not happen yeah we're gonna see about a gig for our band we play in the lounge good

afternoon four seasons hotel miami hi honey how are you i'm well hi it's me how you doing

I'm doing fine.

Good, yeah.

How does the heat work, the water, to make it hot?

How do you make it go?

Who do you need to talk to?

To the hotel machine.

To the hotel machine?

Mm-hmm.

What hotel machine?

The hotel machine that I'm staying at.

I'm not understanding this.

The Four Seasons Hotel Machine.

Mm-hmm.

What kind of machine?

It has spaces in it, you know?

No, I don't.

i have no idea what you're talking about i'm in one of the spaces i'm in four seasons yeah

the operator hi hi how are you how you doing honey hi hi

nonsense unreal what do you get sean you can jump in nice we call it now same place

Oh, okay.

You and Mabel, honey baby.

Okay.

I'm not just the caller I need.

Call a different hotel because this is not going down.

Don't worry.

This is right up the street.

We're calling South Beach, by the way.

South Beach.

What's the name of the hotel?

The Conrad of Miami.

And a three, and a two, and a one.

Why are we listening to all this slow song music?

It's one of the stuff I used to play a lot back in the day.

Thank you for calling Miami.

This is Henry.

How may I assist you?

Hello there, Henry.

This is old Mabel speaking.

Listen, I was in your lounge just a little while ago.

I was in there for tea.

My boy Raymond took me out for tea.

Wasn't that thoughtful of him to take old Mabel out for tea to the lovely Conrad Hotel Lounge?

Wasn't that nice of him?

Stop.

The Conrad Miami is an unforgettable experience.

Yep.

Thank you for calling Conrad Miami.

This is Amaris speaking.

How may I assist you?

Yes, hello.

Hello, this is Old Mabel speaking.

I was just in there a little while ago with my boy Raymond.

He was taking me for tea in the lounge.

Wasn't that nice of him?

Anyways, I was in there, and I left my cane.

You left your cane?

Anybody seen my cane over there?

Over where?

Over in your lounge.

I was having tea with my boy Raymond, and I left my cane in the lounge over the back of my chair or maybe on the floor.

It might even be in the corner.

in the lounge yeah the little area with the seating is the little area with the seating

yeah where they got the seating and what me and raymond was having tea just a little while ago

just a little while ago yeah raymond was saying yeah okay one moment allow me to

connect you to security thank you please hold 10 pleasures she's messing with you she's making

Make it funny.

Man, that's not cool.

Both the securities, Andrew.

Hello, I was looking for my cane, and the lady put me on the line with you.

I'm sorry, who's this?

This is Mabel.

This is old Mabel.

I was in there having tea with my boy Raymond, and I left my cane at your location.

You left the cane?

When was this?

Oh, this was just a little while ago.

He took me for tea, for brunch.

Okay, and you left it where?

In the lounge.

The place where the seating is.

In the restaurant?

Yeah.

Okay, give me one second.

Nothing's been turned in yet, so let me contact them to see if it's still up there.

Oh!

If you could read my love, what a deal my thoughts could tell.

What's that?

Just listen.

Damn.

There's a show going on.

There's a show.

Who's that?

Talk directly.

Your mic is on if you have your headphones on.

This is a great call.

okay i'm gonna dial back okay guys you gotta go the movie selfless only has 21 on rotten tomatoes

selfless yeah okay yeah only 21 on rotten tomatoes what's selfless it's the one with uh

ben kingsley and ryan reynolds that's pretty bad 31 21 that's even worse but 50 per six 56

audience liked it so the critics didn't like it much but the audience seems to like a little

little better at least half the audience a little a little better but not much still fail still of

the bucket of popcorn on its side that's what they get no that's what they get hey i gotta

introduce uh jen stewart here in a moment i'm gonna play a quick bit here what what what happened

what you don't you can stay sean can stay no it's a sin oh okay um this one here is the uh jack

masterson character that introduced around this time the stuff that we've been talking about

Jack Masterson was an obese man

I would put a marker

like in my cheek inside my mouth

and talk and breathe into the mic

and as you know annually

Denny's has

582 pounds right

it fluctuated

but as you

may know in

the United States Denny's has an annual

free Grand Slam day where you can get

breakfast at Grand Slam for breakfast

is for free but it's only between two certain times so poor jack maxerson gets confused about

that and uh has missed it unfortunately let's play that real quick and i'll be back

he's quite focused on the menu but the timing is not what he's focused on

she's refusing to take my order i want a carafe juice and three specials it's between six and

2, Oprah said it on the TV

yesterday. From 6 to

2, it was going to be free, and everyone

was clapping. You're correct.

From 2 p.m. to 2 p.m. in the afternoon.

No, no, no. That's not what

she said. It's absolutely

true. Listen, I slept

in and made sure I got up early

at 6. I come in now, I

took a shower and everything. The nurse

left, and now I'm going to get...

I already ordered the transportation

to take me, because I'm in a wheelchair.

They have to come special from the

county that come take me because i'm on disability okay pretty right now um ended at jim listen i

don't know if you know what is mandatory that you're supposed to have the sale today because

that's what oversaid the day okay we did have the sale to ended m five and a half p.m it's already

it's 2 p.m is how long from now it's 19 hours from now it's two no no no no no no yes this morning

Why? Please, sir, just take my order. I want a carafo juice to go with three specials.

It's not... This isn't fair. Well, let me speak to the manager, please.

You are.

No, is there a man I can speak to?

Sure, because you're going to make me call... What is the manager, the store manager, big manager come in?

He will be here tomorrow morning.

Listen, that's not fair, because then it's after two, and I can't get the specials anymore.

It's alr... Okay, it's already after two.

No, it's not.

It's 7.39 by 9 o'clock, and it's tied to you.

Okay, do you understand that it is 9 p.m.?

Exactly, and it's over at 2 a.m.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

It's not.

It started at 6 a.m. this morning.

This isn't fair.

Listen, I made, I slept in because I was going to come in.

I'm sorry.

This isn't fair.

and i waited all day i took a shower and everything and my transportation is going

to be here in about five minutes okay well i'm sorry i can cancel and they're oh sorry and i'm

sorry hey we're back so that's uh broken hearted jackie this year man he can only focus on the food

time or anything else didn't matter yeah poor jack poor jack uh jen is now joining us jen

ChristianStewart.com.

What's up, Jim?

Hey, hi.

What?

I don't know if you've ever met Sean Ward, but this is Sean Ward.

Yeah, I've heard of this guy.

Hi.

How are you?

I'm good, man.

How are you?

10 out of 10.

Awesome.

That's a good rating.

Would buy again.

Wow, this is a great day, man.

10 years and two 10-star callers on here with D'Armato himself, man.

You could say so.

I have Tuck here, Big Tuck Mike.

History show.

What do you want, Mike?

Hey, hey, hey, what's going on?

Hey, Jim, how's it?

How's it?

Hey, buddy, how are you?

Yeah.

Hey, buddy, how are you?

Yeah.

Mike, Big Dick Tuck.

Big Dick Tuck.

Buttfuck Tuck.

I don't know.

I like that one better.

It rhymes better.

We got a heating and air unit for sale.

I'm sorry, Tuck.

I love you bad.

We got a heating and air unit for sale for $100.

Whoa, hey.

Everything works except the blower motor.

That's a pretty serious part.

I got an air conditioner, but the blower motor doesn't work.

You don't have shit, man.

It's because of the box.

We're getting rid of it because it's broken, but if you want to buy it, here you go.

$100 for a broken air conditioner.

I'll tell them off.

That's not a joke.

Air conditioners, people take it.

Don't try to figure it out and fix it any way they can.

Yeah, we'll just buy a blower motor and put it in.

We took one out and put it on our porch, and that day, here was a woman knocking on the door asking if we could have her broken down.

My husband will fix it.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

If you know what you're doing, you can just order the blower motor cheaper and put it in.

To the lepers in your head, did I ask to your call?

It's been forwarded.

Before we do the next one

Let's call that hotel again

The one that was messing around with Sean

With the cane or the other one?

The first one, the one with the cane

No, before the cane

The Four Seasons

The one that I said funky stuff

That's a funky nice hotel

Why would you pick on them?

They had it coming

They're too flashy

We weren't picking on them, we were treating them to some comedy

Are they the ones that give out the cookie?

I don't think it's food.

No, that's someone else.

That's the double tree that gives you a warm baked cookie when you check in and check out.

That's the only one originally.

Good afternoon, Four Seasons Hotel.

Hello.

I'm coming through with my band, and we were hoping we could play there.

Are you guys booking bands?

Booking bands.

Can we just set up in the lobby and start playing and see if you like us?

Come on.

How rude are her?

Seriously.

She just chuckled at you.

I was not prepared

I just jumped in

because no one else was

I'm calling them back

yeah

good afternoon

Four Seasons Hotel

Miami

yeah hello

I represent

the Tuck Plucks

the Tucker Pluckers

they wanted to

rent out a room

but they're not

going to be sleeping in it

they're going to be

using it to have

a small performance

okay

they're going to be

doing a

I'll transfer you

uh huh

where are you

going to transfer me

good afternoon

Four Seasons

catering. This is Bianca.

Yeah, $299 I'm going to give you.

Okay? Okay.

Yeah, for you to shut your mouth. Okay, thank you.

Yeah, shut up.

I was hoping she'd get into an argument with me.

That's my agent now.

What's the thing?

The same with the catering.

That's not how you have wrote.

Yeah.

She's trying to book me.

And it's just through my dream.

Oh, fuck's sake.

Just through my dream.

She was the caterer.

reception and she transferred you to catering what the fuck you need to call her back she

remembers my voice probably uh okay jen you want to call a hotel or not i know the moment man i'll

jump in a little bit later like i'll kind of listen oh yeah listen yeah baby oh yeah get down

with you listen um looking for bib overall size 56 waist hey now someone's looking for some big

overall nice let me uh adjust my color red and we'll do that that was you know one of those

calls wasn't it jack master 56 inches of lust oh yeah yeah that's what he had 56 inches of lust

yeah good old jack masterson man keeping it real that's nice yeah we lost the poor guy he's dead

yeah he died oh well car accident he'll come back he could have eaten everything he wanted

he'll come back

he can come back

from the dead

yeah that's true

yeah

you could just use

blood magic

like in

yeah

like in

I don't know

like a soap opera

yeah like

he's still on facebook

I mean

can he really be dead

if he's on facebook

yeah

do you think

Jon Snow's coming back

with the red magic

blood magic

I think so

has to be right

that's what I think

why else would you

bring that

sorceress lady in there

exactly

she showed up

right before

and was all

looking all melancholy

melancholy

Connie. Alright, uh,

Bib overalls. She needs a good shagging, I go.

Perhaps.

She's got nice nipples, nice pink nipples.

But do she wanna fuck?

That's the important part.

I got a song to sing.

Who you calling now?

Uh, the big overalls. They're looking for them.

What was that you were gonna call?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, hey, you looking for some big

Big overalls, boy?

Yeah.

Yeah, you're a big boy?

Good size, yeah.

How big a boy are you?

Pretty good size.

How much do you weigh?

About 3'6".

How tall is you?

7'.

I could probably whoop your ass.

Yeah.

Yeah, you want to fight?

Yeah.

We'll fight, but no weapons.

You know, we're strength and no hitting.

It's all wrestling, you know?

What?

Yeah.

Who is it?

If you beat me, I'll suck your pecker at the end.

This is Rex.

Rex Millionaire.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

I'm eating pretzels, the long kind.

You like them pretzels?

Hello?

we got a 95 blue ford mustang for sale anybody want that how many miles on it that's a good

question let's see if it says no it does not they want two thousand dollars for it though okay

hello is that you who've got the truck for sale truck i have a 95 mustang for sale oh i'm sorry

that's the one i wanted i was getting confused i've called so many places today um my my head

was not screwed on i would need it screwed on by a third party you understand what i'm saying

oh my god anyways the car you're selling how many miles are on it the miles thing doesn't

work on it and the motor is only about seven years old i got it no yeah i got it no seven

and it had what did you do to the miles counter as a mile thing on it says i think about 200

hundred thousand something like that but then you also said it doesn't work so now i'm concerned

well yeah but the motor is only seven years old okay but the isn't isn't it like if the thing if

the if the gear if the thing with the miles tampered with i think that's gonna give me

problems i don't know i could go to jail for the miles yeah that's the only thing that not

don't uh work on it is it don't it don't tell uh how many miles is on the car yeah that's illegal

to not have it say how many miles i don't know that so we're gonna need you to step outside

bring the car with you bring it around the corner i just want to have a look inside the

trunk i'm in the neighborhood now can i have a look inside the trunk i'm near you

yeah no not the truck the trunk like the the boot are you english are you from from britannia

over there they call it the boot in europe they call it the boot over here in america we call it

the trunk and it's the part that goes you put stuff in it and then go it's where you put the

woman y'all who was that who's that in the background that's my friend oh can you tell

him i said hi

where are you oh i'm very near you my buddy is just in the in the in the store he's just inside

getting a popsicle and i'm just thinking of taking a quick run around the corner to visit you and see

the inside of the trunk of this amazing car you've got for sale i got a tape measure hello ma'am yeah

i've got a tape measure so i can measure and so i can look if you can open up the trunk and i can

can look inside then i can see if the trunk at least is going to suit my my purposes have you

ever had a situation where you had like more stuff than you had room in the trunk it sucks

like it's so bad it's so annoying you know what i did one time i left like three shopping bags

full of stuff like just in the parking lot because it wouldn't fit the trunk and when i went back for

it they were gone i think i like the sound of that kid the way he's talking like what are you doing

into him i told him to stop okay i thought you're being mean to him no okay you're off the hook this

time but i've got my eye on you wink wink nudge nudge ha ha he's really scared man

oh you just got here i know we all just got here but i gotta go do some stuff down

i gotta go soon so it's all good csa talk take care of talk man we'll see you peace out

You've helped us out so much over the 10 years, man.

Also, thanks for everything you've done.

Keep swinging your big dick in the direction of big boob girls.

Well, we'll work on it.

Comics are coming out.

Facebook is TuckerMike01.

Subscribe.

God damn it.

Everyone, TuckerMike01.

Thanks for all your great artwork over the years, too, Tuck, man.

We really love you.

Thank you, man.

that's off to you brother okay all right well yeah peace and love peace and love i got rebel

flags for sale on craigslist rebel flags the fuck is a rebel flag the rebel they're the ones that go

against the empire in star wars yeah all right oh that so let's let's inquire about those flags

there's been so many fucking flags going around recently i just have no idea anymore it's flag

ISIS flags.

Rebel flags.

But this is the Rebel Alliance.

Patriot flags.

Star Wars.

I'm calling from Alderaan.

All right.

If that doesn't pick up, we got a Rebel flag belt buckle.

It seems like it's not a belt buckle.

I'm sorry, the purple?

Here's the belt buckle.

It still has the same flag on it.

Hello?

Hello.

Hi.

Can I help you?

yeah you got a rebel belt buckle for sale yeah how much uh 20 bucks 20 bucks it's got the rebel

flag on it yes sir oh that sounds like a good deal have you got the one with the empire on it as well

like have we got the two of them the set yeah you've got the rebel one do you have the empire

one too uh no sir the rebel one because i've never actually seen a flag of the rebel alliance

Like, does it have an X-Wing fighter on it, or is it just, like, Yoda's face?

Like, what's on the flag?

There's a picture on there.

A picture of what?

There's a picture of the belt buckle on there.

Oh, I see it right in front of me.

Yeah, I didn't see anything from Star Wars on it, so I wasn't sure if that was the right picture.

You sure this is the Rebel Alliance?

Like, is this a licensed item from Lucasfilm?

Or is this a bootleg?

Your bootleg, man.

Is this a Rebel flag?

Belt buckle?

Your bootleg, you said.

Your bootleg.

Well, you're a bootleg motherfucker.

They're calling the same guy.

Donnie Redwood, please.

I was giving him another chance.

Sometimes I get pick-up roll mad.

Your call has been forwarded.

Or sometimes they do that.

50-50.

All right, I think that's going to do it for me, too, gentlemen.

Just as I've got to get a video up tomorrow and a lot of work to do on it still.

All right, man, well, enjoy your movie and you have a good show.

And I will check back in.

I'll listen this afternoon, but also I'll check in again tonight and see if you guys are still live tonight when I get back.

I hope so.

All right, I'll be back.

All right.

thank you sean ward man i love you bro thanks for coming on bro missed you

oh i miss you too a big hugs and kisses to all everybody madhouse radio pcu kdk all that good

shit yeah god bless you sean ward thank you brother goodbye bye all right jim's here though

wow dude that was a classic right there man from the past dude that was a former giant man that

guy was big now because skills man man skills wasn't that great now because i'm running behind

i'm gonna catch up here jen you're not i'm gonna be taking a break in about 20 minutes but you're

gonna stay on right you don't have to go anywhere um technically i do but uh you're saying you want

me to take over the show no no i'm going to take a break but i'm going to be back i'm just going to

take a break here at the top of the hour uh-huh but i'm asking you to stay you know stay on with

us oh yeah yeah i'll stay on with you yeah yeah i'll stay on with you i'll come back after the

break okay because i i got you were i i had i'm running behind so you got added in late i'm sorry

that's right i can stay for a couple of hours yeah good good good all right so hang on a second

Are you doing this 12-hour thing?

Yes, I am.

Yeah, we're in hour three of the 12-hour thing, yep.

Oh, wow.

The end of the first part, yeah.

I had no idea.

You're in the middle of the, well, you're at the end here of the early Madhouse era

where we talked about the early pranks and the old stuff.

Yeah, so you came around the end of that, too, so I got you on.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, I did come around the end of that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And KDK, Zolar, and Lego, and Prankmaster, everybody,

that's going to be around 7 p.m., 7, 7.30 p.m. tonight.

Now, what shall we do?

Jen, you want to do some pranks?

You still chilling?

I'm still chilling for a minute.

I will join in maybe after the break.

No problem.

Right on.

Let me try to get one more of these on.

So we were talking about Jack Masterson here.

This is one of my other favorite Jack Masterson calls.

with this one here um jack needed always he always needed special shit at the hotel he needed a

special shower he needed reinforced beds he needed ramps special ramps to get in he always

he's just a pain in the ass that no one's ever heard of yeah for handicapped yeah the handicapped

style ee that's required by he's like whatever so in this one here i'm calling a hotel like we

were earlier and i'm telling him hey i'm jack masterson and i need a fucking you know special

kind of thing and he's like i have no idea what you're talking about it's really funny

he starts making fun of me uh let's listen to that this new feature thanks for holding this

jesse i may help you jesse i heard you i'm sorry this is jack rasmussen how are you sir

this is who jack asterson yes sir i live 482 pounds and i require a bathroom with uh handicapped

Type EE, which is the larger size.

Like with a roll-in shower?

Huh?

With a roll-in shower?

No, type for a person of size.

It was in the most recent addendum to the Persons with Disabilities Act.

You're supposed to have one room like that with a refrigerator for my insulin also.

Do you have a reservation with us tonight, sir?

Yes, and it's totally unacceptable that I don't get my large-sized bathroom and a refrigerator for my insulin.

Well, I'll get your...

Sir, I'm waiting for 182,000 to have type 3 diabetes.

Yes, sir. And what's your last name?

It's Vasterson, sir. Vasterson.

Are you already checked into the hotel?

I tried to check in. They can't even show me the room.

This is unobtrusive.

I'm sorry. I don't even have a reservation under your name, sir.

Sir, you don't understand. In the room right now...

Where are you, sir?

My wheelchair...

What hallway are you in, sir?

In the second floor, sir.

Second floor? I don't have any rooms on my second floor, sir.

Are you calling the right hotel?

tell? Yes, sir. I am. They showed me the room. It's a size E-E. We'll see a size E-E with a

refrigerator for my insulin. It doesn't have it. I'm a human. I understand that, sir. Where are

you located? Second floor, you twit. You slag. How do you do this to me? What are you calling

me, sir? You're a slag. Okay, well, I'm not going to let you call me these names over the telephone.

phone i will be getting i'll be getting off this phone i have more than you sir feelings not funny

hey don't call sir i'm gonna be getting off the phone right now okay we're gonna get have a good

evening okay is this is this is the end this is the end my only friend yeah good night that's jack

jack always cut out jack always fucked up in his head and his mind never able to get the

I love Jack.

He's not preoccupied with food.

Jack is food.

He lives for food.

He loves that food.

Let's do a quick prank call, and we're going to take that break I'm talking about.

Let's catch up on some time here.

We're on a time machine.

We can come back at any time we want.

Multiple yard sales this Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

Let's call some more yard sales for the weekend.

yeah who says here's two bits go and eat so what do they call them in over there where you live a

garden sale a what a garden no no just uh yeah i've never actually heard of it a car boot sale

yeah hi i see you're having multiple yard sales oh yeah that's good oh are you gonna have any

of your clothes yeah we've got clothes oh women's clothes women's clothing yes there's women's

clothing and men's clothing i like the sound of that oh he's some love i'm eating some underwears

right now have any of that i'll take the underwears i'll take the underwears and i bake

them for 450 degrees for 10 hours i'm gonna get real crunchy oh i'm gonna choke jen you're gonna

the crackers you got i mean uh pretzels dry pretzels you gotta be careful

before you pick up

oh jen you're the man bro

all right let me go ahead and take that break so while we're gone we're gonna okay unfortunately

milkman we tried hard several people tried so hard to get recluse to show up today but we've

We've lost him, unfortunately.

We can't find him.

We couldn't get a hold of him.

We did everything we can.

I want to thank the many people.

Did he die?

No, no, no.

It's just we can't find him.

Maybe he's dead.

I don't know.

He could be died.

I hope not.

Jesus, Lord in heaven.

But I've got a best of reclude coming up here while we transition over to the second part of our four-part extravaganza tonight.

So this is officially the end of part one here.

When we come back, we're celebrating Madhouse 2.0 era.

That means around the time that Jin came around and we went on our own.

We left PCU and we were doing shows with Syndicate Radio on our own.

Still trying to see if we can get Dino in.

He's asking for a phone number to dial.

I don't have an incoming number.

So maybe he can get conferenced by Evil Artie or Jonathan.

But those two will be on Evil Artie and Jonathan will be here with us.

We'll talk about the good old syndicate radio days.

And that's when the pranks really started getting good for me.

We got out of our early nervousness and we kind of hit our sophomore stride.

And we started doing, I started doing some pranks.

We started having our direction by then at that point, you know.

Like at that point, we started, our time slot started working.

We'd got an act going with the limitations we had.

And we was having a hell of a lot of fun, dude.

And then we started with this whole new stage to come on to.

and you kicked off, dude.

Your brain just went wild, dude.

This was like the early creative phase, dude,

where you just started pouring out all kinds of new shit.

Damn right.

It was a great day, man.

All right.

So, in part one, please do enjoy part two.

Please do enjoy Best of Reclude.

I'll be right back.

Jen's going to be here with us

as we move into the second part of the show.

All right, buddy?

Yeah!

Woo!

Be right back.

Madhouse 10 Year Anniversary Part 1 of 4

Calls (24, 1 h 12 min of 2 h 45 min)

Transcript

Comments 0