The Horse Rises (Pranksgiving 2015)

All right.

Do we have one that just says, happy birthday on the front?

And the girl with it has a bunch of titties.

I'll turn her over and I'll fuck the dog style back, back, back.

Fuck my mother.

That's why you're going to have your mother fuck my mother.

But I'm going to stand here and fuck your mother with my own dick.

I'm not playing no fucking games, dude.

I, I fuck you, son of a bitch.

Stop making us do the cutting.

You're out of your crazy mind.

You ain't getting no goddamn dollars.

I'll fuck you all night long.

It's not perfect.

Why don't you piss off?

You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast.

Yeah, I hate it when people fall off their horses and then they blame the horse.

It wasn't, yeah.

Their horses.

I fell off a horse, too.

I was so mad because I didn't know my horse was pregnant.

And the horse feet barely missed me when I fell.

Yeah.

Like this.

I was so mad on the horse because I fell, I hit him right in the jaw.

That's awful.

I hate people that do that.

Yeah, I got it.

He punched a horse.

Oh, yeah, I punch.

Oh, well, if I was so dumb.

But you're a human.

But what I'm saying.

You're a human.

Yeah, I know.

I was embarrassed by it.

I think that's disgusting.

But I'm telling you, I was embarrassed by it.

I was embarrassed by what the horse did because of the fact that I'm not a good horse rider anyway.

If you punched my horse, I would stab you.

I want to punch your horse.

Why would I punch your horse for?

I would punch your horse.

No, I would.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the main event of the evening.

And attendants and fans watching around the clock.

Milkman is not answering like a bitch.

Hey, I'm Carlito. I'm the host of Madhouse Radio.

We're kicking off Prankskiving 2015.

That means 24 hours of live prank call shows.

More information on that later.

In the meantime, Milkman is not here.

Jen Stewart is here. Hello, Jen Stewart.

We got the Society of Mayflower Descendants.

That's the Mayflower Machine.

I don't know if they teach you about that over there in the United Kingdom.

But the Mayflower Machine was this big boat, this steamboat that left in 1776.

And it floated all the way.

It was headed towards Greenland.

And they got off course.

They ran into a big storm.

And they got off course in Atlanta, Plymouth, Rock, Virginia.

Virginia and they got off there and then they founded Roanoke, which is a large, the oldest

city in the new world. Yeah. The number you have dialed is not in service. Please text. Oh shit,

man. I think I forgot the one. Yeah. But if you didn't know, so we celebrate prank,

prankskiving, Thanksgiving for that. So that's basically, uh, we got several shows today. I

forget the exact number of how many shows we've got. Uh, but we got 24 hours worth of shows going

so say 24 fucking hours of prank calls i go i'm doing four hours i go on until 2 a.m eastern

very nice it's actually 3 a.m where i am so i might stay with you as long as i can

oh wow i had some coffee you know i feel good i'm like oh that's weird for you because you're

usually a tea drinker i'm still a green tea yeah i don't you know if i need to drink coffee

then i'll do it like i have some uh jamaican blue mountain which is like one of the really

nice, expensive coffees.

It's not like Kopi Luwak.

Kopi Luwak is the most expensive coffee

in the world. And the reason is...

Do you know how they get it?

Kopi Luwak. Is that the one that the

donkey eats and shits it out? No, no, no.

It's not a donkey. It's like a

raccoon. It's a type of raccoon. It shits it out.

It eats these coffee berries.

It shits it out. And then they

extract the coffee beans from the shit

and they sell that. And that's

Kopi Luwak.

Playing a video right now for National Geographic

that shows how that happens.

It's very interesting.

The sound is great.

Cool.

I was just kidding.

I thought it was a monkey in Asia,

but you're saying it's a raccoon in Jamaica

that eats the berry and shits it out?

It's called...

I don't know what the fuck it's called.

Is it a snake?

It's a civet.

A civet?

It's a type...

no no yeah it's a okay it's a civet it looks like a fucking raccoon i don't know piece it's

probably a piece of shit's what it is literally it means you know so uh anyway i'm on right now

uh speaking of shitting beans gilmore comes on at two o'clock in the morning oh is he gonna

shit beans yeah well he's gonna eat them and then speaking of beans 976 neon will be on at

at four o'clock a.m yep nine seven six she's coming on she does show four o'clock in the

morning oh it's nine o'clock in the morning your time too bad you got to work too bad

you people don't believe in in thanksgiving right yeah because you're atheists giving over here you

know i i commented earlier on facebook someone to someone i know and uh basically they said

that all the happy thanksgiving and uh you know because we don't have thanksgiving over here so

So I was like, yeah, we have 250 nukes that are surrounding the countries, and we're grateful for that.

And we're going to start bombing innocent people with these nukes one day, and then they're going to be grateful that we did that.

And so I'm grateful for that.

We don't celebrate otherwise.

Yeah, the situation over there in Turkey.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, turkeys, I guess, in retaliation for this year's Thanksgiving and all the slaughter of their Turkish people for tonight's meals.

decided to shoot down a russian jet i don't know if you heard about this story if they told you

about it i know a lot of this information gets blocked by your government and doesn't filter

down but it goes it the situation there is kind of hairy right now because now you're gonna

vladimir putin and he's like putin's a fucking cunt you know he's actually very very rich he's

like one of the richest people in the world he's in like the top 20 or something oh yeah very rich

yeah and he doesn't have he doesn't look good when he has his shirt off he likes taking it off

he's like yeah he's such a fucking narcissist he's a cunt but listen he's a cunt but the turks

are cunts all the time he's worth 70 billion dollars yeah the syrians are cunts asad is a

cunt everyone there is a cunt everyone involved in that part of the world is a cunt all the sides

are all fucking cunts and they're gonna cunt it up basically because what's gonna happen

anyway

fuck each other to death

I don't give a fuck

as long as they don't

touch me

my friends

my family

my fans

then I'm happy

well okay

whatever

that's very anti-France

of you

no I like France

I have a problem

with France

I have a problem

with fucking terrorists

oh yeah fuck

I'm saying

fuck those motherfuckers

Mike the Donny

I know you're a big fan

of Mike the Donny

I know you've probably

heard of him

of who?

he's exactly

he's on at 6 o'clock

in the morning

he'll be doing a show

after 976 Neon

does the beans uh mike the donnie he's uh he's about seven foot tall he used to play

uh professional basketball in turkey as a matter of fact what oh yeah he's got a wicked jump shot

he's got these youtube videos he's like yeah i was on a turkish basketball team in the olympics

and he's like yeah in your face jim stewart and he like like that you didn't see that no

fucking cunt i wasn't there was i yeah he was like in your face jim stewart i'm real yeah yeah

Yeah, yeah, fucking Olympics.

I bet he was with the fucking archery team.

He goes, I know how to hit the right target, unlike Jen Stewart.

Fucking cunt.

Yeah, exactly.

I can't wait to meet him.

Jag TV.

He's on at 9 o'clock in the morning.

He's going to purge.

He's actually going to be doing a coffee enema live on the air.

We're all real excited about that.

He's going to be broadcasting that on Periscope, and it's Periscope.

He's Jag TV.

TV spelled out T-E-E-V-E-E.

periscope look that up and he's going to be doing a live coffee enema is he dyslexic no dyslexic what

no it's good for you coffee enema um then sloth is going to do a fucking ages away sloth has not

done a show in months his science show will be on for a special very special science show where

he's going to explain to everyone why he doesn't you know do a show anymore uh it's an interesting

story that's at 2 p.m eastern standard time followed by that big dwight we have a huge

huge development do you ever you ever heard these charlie calls that really angry honolulu guy

the chinese guy you ever heard these calls in the show or anyone else's probably not you don't want

to talk about no no all right so there's this guy we've been calling for years and everyone's called

them people don't even do shows jim like everyone else they call him this guy gets a lot of prank

calls for the last several years the first one was on this show i'm pretty sure uh we got someone on

the ground dirty aaron is in honolulu and he's gonna get us the street beat um where the fuck

is milkman uh yeah that's right let me try to call him again thank you for reminding me yeah i

doubt you were saying all these people and we're missing like one of the fundamental elements of

the show yeah i know but he's not answering the phone i don't understand he's high as fuck probably

yeah probably like having a spliff like oh yeah like this i like it's good he's a feeder i don't

know if you ever heard of feeders no it's what is that isn't that guitar no that's a fender sorry

it's a fetish where you feed the woman what the oh right so they eat so they get really big or

what yeah and it's thanksgiving so fucking hell okay he's busy i get it well we're trying to get

a hold of him uh anyway dwight will be on the air when uh we're expecting aaron aaron to go in

in there while we try to record your message fucking asshole this guy you know i don't

recognize number i don't know who will be calling me at this time that's milkman for you i want to

just say because i didn't say happy birthday to him you know i feel bad because i wasn't on the

show and i'm so sorry that i can't always be here you know i've made a very special effort to try

and be here today and i'm so sorry that i can't be here more often i really would like to be

but you know

it's not always possible

you have a real job

and stuff

yeah I have priorities

I have to

you know

I have people

I have responsibilities

I can't just

yeah practice

and all that

fucking no

that was a long time ago man

it's like a different life

what are you reading

I'm trying to call

Milkman on the cell phone

I don't know the number

why would Carlito

not call me

from his cell phone

on the computer

he knows that

we're doing a show though right

yeah of course

I told him

he knows

I talked to him today

it's fucking Thanksgiving

and i didn't even say happy thanksgiving to everybody that's listening because you know

i don't celebrate so i don't know what that means but you know happy thanksgiving i'm grateful to

be alive thank you very much good good we're all thankful that i'm alive that we're all alive you

know you're i'm thankful that you're alive i'm a real person yeah i'm a real person right now

last year last year i was on the nigger on the nigger last year i was in the fucking hospital

so i'm really yeah i know i remember what the fuck yeah this year i'm not in the hospital

for Thanksgiving. Pranksgiving.

And that's a good thing.

I don't know what to do about Milkman

seriously. He doesn't want to answer the phone.

I can't help him. I'll try him

again later.

Maybe he's in the middle of something.

Yeah, and listen, Jaiad ends

at 7pm. Jaiad, Big Jaiad

will be ending at 7pm.

He's doing the final show.

Yes, he is.

He'll be closing things out and he's actually, I believe,

standing by to report on scene

some kind of major

major operation for the cause of mass confusion hello jayad hello hey i'm sorry i got you in here

we're just doing our normal parlaying no no i've been listening all right what's your status what

do you got going on no everyone know what's happening with you tonight sir or today okay

this well where do i start right first of all hey nice to talk to you jen stewart i don't think i've

oh hey no i've never heard your voice you sound really nice what's your name yeah you're really

yeah yeah and and you know what i hats off to you you are a very brave person with that strange

speech impediment or whatever you got going on i'm just kidding you're one of my favorite brits

you're one of my favorite brits man thank you very much um okay so to um well hell where do i

start so pranksgiving um about three years ago we started doing a uh well at the time we called it

madhouse saves christmas but now we call it pcn saves christmas and to start out um uh we we

We basically, the background is we adopt a family that is in need for Christmas, and we do a fundraiser.

And we're doing it again this year.

Carlito, I don't know if you want to throw the link into the chat and all that, but you can go to prankcallnation.com slash pranksgiving.

And it actually has the donate button, and there's the story.

And I don't want to tell the whole story, but basically there's this grandmother who does a shitload for her kids and her grandkids.

She's taking care of people.

It's somebody that I don't know personally, but I know somebody who knows him personally.

I don't want to get into too much detail because I don't want it to feel like I'm trying to exploit them.

So I'm not going to get into too much detail about how we know him.

But basically, when my wife actually approached her and said, hey, my husband does this thing.

Here's an opportunity.

She broke down in tears right there and just started saying thank you.

So I think we, out of nowhere, eased her mind.

And you can read all about her story and what our gift is, actually, on that page.

It'll take you about a minute or two to actually read what I wrote up.

And basically, there's four grandkids.

One has a cyst on his brain and just a situation where money's real tight.

Otherwise, it's not like this is some junkie family where we're just going to give them stuff so they can trade it for crack.

This is the real deal.

They're having a really tough year, and we're going to do our best to help them out.

So dig deep.

You guys did amazing last year.

I'm going to set the goal for $500 this year.

And the year before.

Yeah, and the year before was amazing because it was really short time.

This is kicking off right now, and then it's going to go all the way to December 17th, I think is the date that I picked.

yeah um and and so you know we got a few weeks to raise what we can i'm gonna make the goal

five hundred dollars but if it's anything like last year it's we're just gonna blow it away so

anyways this this woman is amazing she used to run a foster home to help take care of kids that

were in trouble but now you know she's just in a really bad situation with her family so she's had

to end that so anyways just all in all just one of those people where she's a great person i

I wouldn't help out a junkie.

Well, I have helped out junkies.

I don't do that anymore.

So this is a real person who's just got themselves or life got them into a bad spot.

So anyways, go ahead and read about it.

It's a pretty cool little story.

Like I said, the goal is $500.

You can start donating now.

If you don't get paid for a week, you can donate then.

If you can donate a dollar, that's great.

I've seen people donate $40.

So it's your call.

But the goal is $500, and I believe in the community we can do this.

Yeah, definitely, guys.

guys help thanks and thanks you know for helping out uh every year that we do this is now i guess

an annual tradition yeah it's become a tradition yeah we uh we find a family in need for the

holidays and we help them out we've always come through it's always been really really cool it's

as soft was saying it's the one thing that we can do to kind of legitimize ourselves during the year

you know we can always yeah well i jokingly said that uh this is the time of the year where we find

a family who's in need so we can pay for our year of sins with cold hard cash yeah yeah but

But everybody, prankcallnation.com slash pranksgiving.

There's more details there on the situation.

And you can just click the donate button and pick any amount you can.

Any amount helps.

And I'm going to start things off by December's Patreon, which usually hits the first week of December.

December's PC and Patreon, we'll go ahead and I'm going to donate it.

So we'll kick that.

I mean, that stands at $219.01.

one cent and usually usually we never get that amount that's on the page i mean i never talk

about it we i get i'll definitely they'll definitely be at least a hundred dollars and

yeah and a few yeah because they have to approve it yeah yeah thank you man yeah because i know

that money you used to pay the bills so i that's greatly appreciated thank you very much so that's

that's i'm gonna help out right there and maybe that'll help speed us yeah i'll have a look as

well um into this i'll have a little read after the show and oh perfect so just see what i can do

yeah thanks jim i appreciate that i can give you some money that's that that shouldn't be

excellent thank you and here's what's cool this is where i'm gonna this is where i'm trying to

pay you guys back for your generosity okay so as you guys know calls mask of fusion was pretty

much a success i'm over 5 000 hits now um which is pretty good for my shit that's the video stuff

i was telling you about before jim yeah it's the live video prank stuff yeah um yeah i really

wanted to do that but you know i haven't had the chance you you have the chance tonight my friend

because i can't i can't do a video because i can't be on the video that's fine that's fine

i'm not asking that usually i like to get the you know whoever's doing a prank phone call on video

tonight not necessary if you're a host and i rate i'll just go into some detail i'm going out here

in a couple of minutes you guys are going to be talking to me in a few minutes when i'm in a

walmart or wherever in hell i land and we're going to sit and do some live ones tonight on

And what I'm going to try to do is make a Calls to Mask of Fusion, which is the Pranksgiving special, where I'm going to tell the story of what Pranksgiving is, the fundraising, the pranks, all that in there, all in the next 24 hours.

I'm not going to sleep much.

But I also found six other volunteers that are out there.

And I've given the hosts and everybody the contact.

tech so and and that means during all the shows you guys have opportunities to come to work with

these people and myself to do um live video pranks that'll all be part of this and then in turn you

know you'll see how much money we raised and if i get a message from the family back then i'll share

that in the video it'll be an awesome video and you get to be on youtube yeah and if this works

out i will bust my ass to release it by christmas so or i'll say new year's because christmas isn't

very far away so by new year's um and so i will bust my ass to release it by then and it'll be

freaking sweet man that's all it's gonna be really awesome if it's my vision i'm so happy

that i got six camera guys outside of myself so um so anyways so are you gonna get me numbers in

and what what's your timing yeah yeah what i'm gonna what i'm gonna do dude um this is kind of

and i'm sure some of the camera guys are listening and some of the other hosts are listening this is

how it's gonna work um they're gonna contact you they're gonna end up on your show um i'll

probably just uh you know message you on skype what my location is because that's the good way

to keep it kind of secret right and um and then and then i'll you i'll still be on the phone with

you and i'll say okay i'm in here right now um now you know i'm in electronics and then boop you

try to jump back to electronics and do whatever you want make somebody go on a shopping spree

make them empty their pockets like i did to a guy last year um make them can you i think um to be

be honest just so i don't miss it can you call my cell just i have it right laying right in front

of me just just you know and i'll i'm like all right cool i'll throw it back to you on skype

or wherever to get it okay yeah yeah and and and yeah and there's gonna i know there's at least one

or two of my other camera guys that are probably messaging you um you know because they want in

on it too so you don't gotta do all the stuff in a row just understand we're out there we want to

record stuff if i can get my goal is to get eight decent video pranks if i can do that this is

is going to be an amazing show if i can get four i can still make a show and we got 24 hours to

make it happen and a lot of really funny hosts so i think we can do this so totally you sound

very dedicated sounds like i love this shit man yeah but again i put a lot of work into

calls of mass confusion i wish i had the time to do more i honestly me too hang on now jesus

in a jump truck uh what what's your timing though when when can we do the first video call i'm

I'm actually, as soon as I'm done with you, I'm actually going to go pick up Justin.

You remember Justin from when we did one before?

Yes.

And I'm going to head on out.

I'm going to head on out.

So I'll go ahead and call your phone or even text you.

What would you prefer, text?

Call.

And then I've got you set up so if you call my cell phone, you're going to be on the air.

It's going to pop me in.

All right.

Also be watching out for the other guys that I know are going to be out there.

They're out there.

They're hitting malls and shit.

I educated them all on the best way to make it look like you're not recording when you're recording and shit like that.

So this could be brilliant, man.

This could be really big.

Or they could get in trouble for looking like they're casing soft targets.

There you go.

So, hey, whatever.

It'll be great.

We'll have it on video.

I did make sure none of them wear turbans.

Okay, good idea.

All right.

All right, man.

Well, hey, have a good show.

I'll be in and out with you on this show.

So good luck to this.

And, hey, another Pranksgiving, man.

I'm excited.

All right, so give me a call, and we'll get going.

No problem.

in the meantime see well i'm gonna send you some money now awesome jim thank you nice all right

jim with the first donation everyone again that's well you're gonna hear the next 24 hours but again

we're just trying to help out a family prank call nation.com slash pranksgiving there's also

if you just go to prank call nation there's a a donate button right on the sidebar on any page

you're at so you can listen to the show on that page while you do your donation um and thank you

Yeah, thank you for all this.

Again, we need to atone for our sins.

It's true.

Jinza, you're a Buddhist or something like that, right?

Something like that.

Yeah, so you're like, yeah, you have to have the Kama.

You have to contribute to the Kama.

Yeah, so shall we get started here?

Let's see if we can get someone to pick up.

Parkman, thank you very much.

Worked diligently in an attempt to confirm numbers for tonight.

He did report back that there was a little bit of trouble getting confirmations.

confirmations a lot of places are closed but he did get some numbers we'll get to those and i'm

sure we'll be able to fill out things as the night goes on um i gotta fill in up until two o'clock so

well we've burned already a half hour with just with our talking and stuff what the fuck is that

in the background is that a christmas music yeah that's charlie brown uh chris yeah you like charlie

brown probably not what the fuck yeah you're a bitch uh kidding um all right so we got bonnie

who is a society of Mayflower descendants.

So basically a descendant of the first Americans

that landed, like I said, at Plymouth Rock.

Oh, yeah.

I didn't know they had a society of them.

What the fuck is with this PayPal?

What's wrong with it?

Is it the page?

No, I sent...

I created a new account for Jim Stewart,

sent money from my personal account to Jim Stewart,

and it hasn't arrived.

It said in the email,

yeah, you've received it,

but it's not there.

Because I didn't want to send it from my personal account.

I didn't want to reveal my identity.

I'm like the fucking arrow.

Yeah, because Jaya might do something.

Yeah, exactly.

Let me check.

Must I have my caller ID?

Maybe.

So that number there just did nothing.

So we'll call the next one.

This is Janice, who answered earlier tonight.

And she's a descendant of the Mayflower people.

Calling on behalf of the natives.

The party you are calling is not available.

Whatever.

Jeffrey Jackson.

Once again.

Turbo reporting that Sonic Drive-Ins are open on Thanksgiving.

Given.

He just had a dessert at work.

Okay, good to know.

Hey, good evening. This is Jeff.

Hey, Jeff. How are you doing?

Yeah.

How are you?

Not well. My name is Joseph Redcorn.

I'm a descendant of Mohawk Indian Machines.

I represent the Mohawk Indian Machines of the United States,

and I understand that you're a descendant of a Mayflower immigrant.

Okay.

Well, we've decided, as the Mohawk Indians,

we've decided to reject your application for permanent residency status,

into the United States, being that we're the current lien holders of the property here.

So we're going to have to ask you to get back on your boat machine

and go back to your own country.

Yeah, you need to get back on your damn horse or whatever you brought over here

and take your diseases with you and get on the boat machine

and go back to your own damn country.

Where are you from, Holland or something like that, you people?

Cesar.

Okay, yeah, you need to get the hell back over there, back to your country then.

I think I'll pay you that.

Well, you're not a citizen of the land that you're occupying, so...

Of the United States.

They occupied this area, a particular area where your land is.

It was given to us in one of the treaties.

Treaty dated to 18...

Yeah, it was a treaty dated to 1826.

It was land, just a few parcels of land.

It was called Horse Machine Ranch at the time.

and was given to a local Mohawk Indian tribe

that was relocated here for a brief amount of time

and then they ended up turning it over to a colony of freed slaves

and then after the Civil War they ended up just being gentrified.

Yeah, the entire area, yeah, it was actually deeded back to the Mohawk Indians.

We've proved that in the Supreme Court.

You're not a citizen, you're not recognized being that you're from Holland.

Are you trying to claim that you're a citizen because you were born on this land?

born in the United States?

Is that what you're trying to say?

What are you trying to say?

You're trying to say go to...

Yeah, go back to where your people are from

because the Mohawk tribe of the United States

has rescinded any birthrights.

Basically, the rights that used to be on this land

that said if you were born on the land,

you were a citizen of the country.

We've reversed all of that.

So, yeah, basically,

you're not a citizen of the United States

in this particular area.

so we're uh one of our immigration agents will be coming by um and i can put him on the line

right now if you need to speak to him uh he's one of our immigration agents and he'll be coordinating

getting you back on your boat machine you can go back to goddamn holland yeah hello well i don't

i think i'll be going anywhere oh hello hello i'm the coordination expert hello hello what do

you mean good night to you no good day it's it's night good night what why wait a minute what

what hello fucking sorry man you got me right into it i just made the donation anyway that's cool

uh fuck i've always ruined your calls man you call me and i'm like i'm in the middle of something

what's going on yeah i was getting ready to go oh man i'm sorry about that i'm sorry about that

i'm a mohawk indie hey

goddammit, you finally pick up.

Calling and calling.

I've been calling you and calling you.

You're playing on your rig, bro.

Oh, whatever.

Come on.

Really?

Hey, what did you...

Jen, I called, right?

Ah, yeah, yeah.

We tried to go.

Hey, Milkman.

Jen's here.

Hold on.

God damn.

Hold on, man.

Shit.

I can barely hear you, horse.

Thought you weren't going to do a show or something, man.

I am on the air.

We're on the air.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, we're on.

Can you hear me?

Yes.

I've called you several times.

You finally picked up.

All right.

Now I hear you.

Yay.

Hey.

Yeah, there you are.

Hi, Milkman.

Hey.

Is that my brother, Jim?

It is your brother.

How are you, my brother?

Listen, I'm really sorry.

oh man happy thanksgiving and since it's not a english holiday then just happy good evening to

you my friend so it's happy thanksgiving brother because i'm online with you guys and it feels like

i'm there anyway and listen i'm so sorry and happy belated birthday that i couldn't be on your show

your birthday show so just happy belated birthday bless your heart wow thank you so much to remember

no man you're totally cool bro i really honestly i feel bad that i couldn't be there i'm so sorry

and i hope it went well anyway here's your two this is a great makeup for always fantastic bro

you would have had a great time but man don't don't worry about it because we're gonna have

another good time tonight let's do it man i'm looking forward to it yeah more audio this

conversation oh that sounds like fun what the is that that's you two over there oh

jen oh oh yeah that sounds good oh oh yeah i want to do it it sounds good there was a woman

There's a woman in there somewhere, too.

One of you.

Probably you.

Oh, yeah?

Who would be the bitch between you two?

Milkman, maybe.

Milkman's very passive, you know?

Yeah, I'm not very good at being passive.

I can see him being like, just put it in me.

I'm a very dominant guy, you know?

I'm going to stop talking about that.

Just put it in me.

Put it in my ass.

Oh, my goodness.

You guys are quite randy tonight.

Fantastic.

We'll stop that.

We'll stop that right now.

All right.

Hey, tonight is Girl Scout cookies.

What?

Show me.

Oh, yeah.

Private reserve.

Reserve quality.

Yeah?

Wow.

Dude, this is, you can see the crystal just like on it.

Wow.

You all are...

Are you talking about weed?

Yeah, he's talking about drugs, oils and stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah, sir.

No, no, no.

Fucking, he was talking about Girl Scouts.

I was like, yeah, I was getting all excited.

Now he's talking about fucking weed.

I'm like, yeah, all right.

Disgusting, right?

No, no, it's good.

It's just not as good as pussy, huh?

Yeah, baby, you're right.

It is weird.

Oh, very nice.

Thanks, Kevin.

You got to put your head down and walk real slow

and look at your feet while you walk

when you listen to the song.

Oh, this is a mellow ice pong.

Fucking redhead girl never respects me.

She doesn't want to suck my dick.

She says she doesn't want to have sex,

and then she's fucking the other guy.

These Sonics are open 24 hours.

Who are you calling?

24 hours.

We got a street beat that the Sonics were open,

you know, Sonic.

It's like a restaurant kind of thing.

i have no idea what that is i know i know you wouldn't know it's a rest i don't know i don't

know shit you guys tell me things i'm like yeah okay it's a hand on my head they have hamburger

machines okay yeah like it's a big machine how was your dinner tonight did you have a nice dinner

yeah man what did you have i had uh turkey some turkey ready here my ham it should be done within

like a half hour less than a half hour oh that's good that's good i had i had dinner i got stuff

Stuffing and gravy and a big-ass garden salad.

Whoa.

Wow.

Corn, like fresh corn, and bourbon-based baked beans.

Oh, that sounds good.

That's some good shit.

Yes, sir.

Bourbon-based baked beans.

Bee-bee-bee-bee.

Yes, sir.

Smoky bourbon.

Thank you for calling Sonic Driving in Vancouver, Washington, located at...

Oops.

...192nd Avenue on the corner of Mill Plain and 192nd Avenue.

Our hours of operation are...

I know that they're all open on Thanksgiving.

I know that Denny's are definitely open.

I've been at a Denny's on Thanksgiving night just because I'm a glutton.

I was like, I don't want to have eggs for breakfast.

It was disgusting.

Oh, yeah.

What about...

I went to one, and I think it took 30 minutes for us to get our drink order taken.

Cracker Barrel or Bob Evans.

And another 15 minutes later, we still hadn't gotten our drinks, and we just got up and left.

They were super in the weeds.

It was weird.

Weird. I don't think they were expecting to get so many people there on Thanksgiving, and for some reason it was packed.

Good evening, Kelso Denny's. This is Ashley. Is this a to-go order?

Oh, yeah, you bet. You bet. You got it.

I got it. It's a to-go order. All righty.

You bet. You bet.

Can I get off for you?

No, please.

Okay. What can I get? Let's start off with your name.

First of all, done deal. You got it?

I got it. What's your name?

Cross.

Cross?

Yeah, Cross. Cross. Like Jesus Cross.

Oh, Cross?

You know how Jesus, yeah, like that.

And what can I get for you?

Um, what, do you have, what do you have any specials on the slams?

Well, there's not, no, there's no specials.

You don't have any specials on the slam?

We have just the same prices, yeah.

Okay, alright, what's the, the Grand Slam, is that the one that's cheaper?

Does it have one that's like $3.99 or something?

Am I right or no?

Yeah, let me, it's only my second week, so we're kind of new here together.

Oh, shit, really?

Let's see here, yeah, you got a new girl.

Where'd you come, are you new to the industry?

We have an All-American Slam where you get to pick four items.

Oh, yeah.

Breakfast items.

Oh, yeah.

And let's see what the price is.

Oh, yeah.

For an all-American, oh, wait, no, that's not the one.

So a build-your-own slam would be $7.79.

That's not bad.

Add-a-way, add-a-way.

So I get two meats.

So you can pick four items between bacon, sausage, eggs, pancakes, hash browns, English muffin.

Toast?

Toast.

That's about it.

Turkey bacon strips.

Toast?

Toast, yeah.

Cereal?

No.

Let's see.

All right, whatever.

All right, I love what this is going.

I'll take one of those to start with here.

So you want to do a build your own?

Yeah.

And so what four items are you wanting?

All right, I need one, let's see, one meat.

Okay, do you want sausage or do you want steak?

The pork, pork.

Pork, we don't have pork.

We have turkey, turkey steak.

You don't have any pork?

Not for the build your own slam, no.

Uh-huh, no pork at all.

What animal does the bacon come from?

The sausage, I mean.

Do you want bacon or sausage?

Well, is that pork bacon?

That's what I'm asking.

Yeah.

Is that bacon pork?

Yeah.

Is that bacon pork?

Stupid.

Yes.

Oh, yeah, right.

So you're saying the bacon.

And what about the sausage?

We have turkey bacon or we have pork bacon.

What about the sausage?

Is it turkey or is it sausage?

Is it pork sausage?

The sausage?

Yes.

Our sausage is pork.

Pork.

So you're telling me there's some magical animal that makes sausage and pork chops and bacon?

I don't know.

I think you're kind of confusing me.

Yeah, whatever.

All right.

Well, okay, bacon.

I'll take one bacon.

Okay, so you want bacon for one of your, so you get three more items.

All right, one eggs.

One eggs, and how do you want your eggs?

Cooked.

Do you want them over medium?

Do you want them sunny side up?

Do you want them scrambled?

Hot with heat.

Cook it with heat.

Okay, do you want them scrambled?

Do you want them sunny side up?

Do you want them over medium, over hard?

How would you like them made?

Overheat.

Well, they're going to be heated.

Yeah, well, you're saying over this, overheat.

Yeah, just definitely put it over some heat.

Do you want scrambled eggs, sir?

Do you want over medium eggs?

Do you want over hard eggs, over easy eggs?

Yeah, I don't want to upgrade.

I just want the basic one, you know.

Okay, so you want scrambled eggs then?

No, hot eggs.

You get a choice, sir.

With a little bit of oil, hot eggs.

eggs okay so you want bacon eggs and what else for you uh one bread okay do you want sourdough

white wheat rye flour do you want sourdough white wheat or rye with flour do you have the flour bread

the bread is made of flour like the regular bread do you want white toast wheat toast sourdough

what's the norm what's those are your options the the one that's cheapest they're all the same price

when it comes to your toast i'll take all three then no you only get one choice sir

Wait, so just one choice, but there's...

Hang on.

Let me write this down.

So what do we got so far?

We got one meat.

So far, you have bacon, you have eggs scrambled, and then whatever kind of...

No, not scrambled, though.

See, that's what I'm saying.

I need them overheat.

Are you ready?

Are you purposely...

No, I'm trying to make an order for food.

You don't know how to...

Your eggs either come scrambled, over easy, over medium, over hard.

How would you like your eggs, sir?

They're going to be heated, because you have to cook the eggs.

Yeah, of course.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, exactly.

So how would you like the eggs?

You put some, like, a lubrication, like an oil or a spray on the flat surface, the hot one.

Okay, what kind of toast would you like, sir?

Like toast, yeah, toast with heat.

Okay, and I need one more option.

One silverware, like the plastic?

Do you want hash browns?

Red potatoes?

Well, can you make little, little, little pieces of potato?

If you want red potatoes, they come diced.

No, no, no, like really, really little, little, little, little.

No, sir, do you want hash browns?

Are those the ones that are really little?

The hash browns are little, yes.

How little?

They're shredded hash browns.

Yeah, but shredded long, like filet?

Yeah, they're shredded.

They're shredded long.

Like the size of, like, a filet?

Yeah.

Like how long on the pinky finger?

Yeah, about that length, maybe a little bit longer.

Oh, let's see.

Can you make them small, small, small?

Very, very smaller, smaller, smaller?

And what else for you, sir?

I need one container, like a white foam container.

It comes in a to-go container.

Are you ordering anything else?

Is it the black bottom with the clear top or the foam container?

No, they're just black styrofoam containers.

Black styrofoam, okay.

Yes.

Is it PET-2 or 3?

I don't know, sir.

Well, can you look at one?

I have other people in line.

Yeah, shut up, please.

Shut up, please.

Can you look at the bottom of it?

There should be, like, the code for the recycling, like what kind.

I need to make sure it's compatible with my local jurisdiction's recycling program.

It doesn't say anything.

It says PS6 on the bottom of it.

That's it.

That's the one.

Okay.

Stupid.

All righty, so that's the one that comes in.

Yeah.

All right, so here's Jen.

He's going to make an order also.

Thank you.

Yeah, good to be here.

Hello.

Hey.

Hi, how are you?

I'm good.

How are you?

I'm okay.

Listen, I'm on holiday, so I don't really know what kind of things you've got there,

But I think my friend, he ordered, like, can you tell me what he ordered?

He's got, like, a breakfast time.

What?

He got a build your own slam.

A build my own slam.

Okay, I'll have a build my own slam as well, please.

Can I do that?

Sir, you've got to turn down the radio if you want to speak to me.

I can't hear you over the radio.

I apologize.

So can you please, can I have the same?

But can you tell me as we go, can you tell me that as we go, yes?

Tell you what?

Yeah, as we go, I'm going to make the order.

So you tell me then what's inside, what I can choose.

and then I'll make the choices, yeah?

So I'll have the same as what he had,

but different types of ingredients, yes?

Okay, so you want bacon?

No, what kind of, what you got there?

Do you want bacon?

Yeah, maybe bacon.

What kind of bacon you got there?

Do you want sausage?

We have bacon, we have turkey bacon.

Do you want sausage?

Yeah, what kind of sausage is the meat?

Because I'm a Muslim,

so I can't eat any pork or anything like that,

and the cow has to be especially, you know, prepared.

You want to do turkey bacon then?

Yeah, turkey bacon.

Yeah, let's try it.

But isn't bacon is meant to be also always pig, isn't it?

Yeah, I'm not sure.

I just know we have turkey bacon or regular bacon.

Okay, I'll have the turkey bacon.

That sounds really interesting.

I'll try that.

Okay, and would you like eggs?

Okay.

And what is next?

Do you want eggs?

Eggs, yes, of course.

I love eggs, you know.

You know, there's a Dean Martin.

You know, Dean Martin, he's like, how do you like your eggs in the morning?

That's such a great song, isn't it?

Yes.

Yes, how would you like your eggs, sir?

Well, I like mine with a kiss, you know.

I know I'm saying I want to have the eggs.

How can you make the eggs?

We can make your eggs scrambled.

We can make your eggs over easy.

We can make them over medium, sunny side up, over hard.

What do you mean sunny side up?

They're just the yellow yolk that's on the top.

Oh.

What, you make it on the top?

Yeah, I'm not the cook.

I'm actually just the person that takes care of it.

Oh, you don't in the kitchen.

Okay.

All right.

Right, then, yeah, I'll have it, you know, with the sunny, with the sun.

So you want sunny side up?

Yeah, how many can I have?

You get two eggs.

Two eggs.

I want, okay, I want one eggs.

You just want one egg?

Yes, please, one eggs.

Okay.

And what else?

What else you got?

You can get half-browns, you can get red potatoes.

Red potatoes.

What, how does that, red potatoes, I've never heard it in my life, I've never seen it.

What's it look like?

Is it red?

They're red potatoes and they're diced.

What?

What? How did you make it red?

Oh, I don't know. They just have certain kind of potatoes.

They have red potatoes. They have golden Yukon potatoes.

What? Ask the chef, please. How did he make that red?

Do you want red potatoes, sir?

No, I don't want to know how he made the red.

If it's got dye in it, I don't want any, like, dyed potato.

No, I don't know. It's whoever makes potatoes, I guess.

Huh?

It's whoever makes potatoes.

Yeah, yeah, you grow them in the ground, you know, in the earth.

But I don't know how to make it red, you know?

Me either.

Okay, all right.

And what else you got there?

Okay, so you got turkey bacon, and you have egg, and so we need two more items.

How do I like my eggs?

Here, go.

How else?

What else would you like, sir?

Yeah, you got to tell me what else you got there.

Do you want toast?

Yeah, toast.

What kind of toasts you got?

Okay, do you want white wheat sourdough rye?

White wheat sourdough rye.

Yeah, I'll have a white wheat sourdough rye, please.

No, you get either one of those choices.

What is either one?

I want the white wheat sourdough rye, please.

can't hear us are you all right i'm sorry what's are you do you want rye bread no no i want a white

wheat sourdough rye hello hello hello hello hello oh shit i made a mistake that was my fault that

was my fault shit i'm sorry i'm sorry ah fuck all right it doesn't matter i'm sorry i'm so sorry

i ruined i ruined most of your calls no it was funny come on the giant are you there at the

jayad uh connected in i was trying to talk to him on the sly and i forgot didn't realize it

would mute you also from the call jayad hello hi am jayad jayad you there you hear me there

i hear that was my fault what's up man what's i'm sorry you had to wait everything okay no no no

no no that's how it rolls it's different than what we normally do could you hear

All right, so you got me?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, good, good, good.

All right.

Now, you have the address, right?

Ah, no.

Or the number I sent it to you.

Did you?

I sent it to you on your Skype.

I sent it to you on Skype.

All right, I'm getting it now.

Yep.

Jaya, did you get my donation?

He can't.

He's on the move.

I may have.

I'm sure I did.

I just, right now, I'm not, I can't look right at the moment, but thank you.

No, don't worry, don't worry.

I assume it's $1,000.

Pretty close.

It's pretty close.

um so um all right you got if you got that um yep right now i am looking uh just and i are

looking for a place that there's somebody by a phone it is pretty crowded here yeah give me a

department to ask for or you know yeah what department because there's nobody at this one

it's usually a little it's usually a little it's a little as hectic back in automotive but they may

not be staffed right now i gotta say can we see what he's doing we can't see this until later

not live no until later yeah yeah see now that would have been the shit he can tell us he can

at least relate us he's you know we got the street beat yeah yeah yeah it would be cool if i could uh

periscope this but i actually have uh i actually am doing it with my cameras looks like almost

below yeah that's what i figured it's too late for that now um maybe electron is it is packed

excuse me i am at electronics but i don't see anybody okay okay they're like no there's people

but nobody had a you I guess you could try to call there I'm gonna call it

sure it'll take a while I mean is there anyone nearby who'll jump are they all

busy with customers you thinking what yeah I'm assuming so because in the

past so we've called them this night we usually just get the front how about the

front how's the front what's the street beat on the front oh it says it's you

know what yeah that's a good idea right now with the way it is if well we had a

fight to the front because this registers even closed yeah yeah yeah so

going to do we're going to head up front okay um and wait her up there somewhere so give me a

minute no problem we're here i'll hold off i'll hold off on a call milkman are you there second

are you there buddy no way hey milkman is that you oh no no milkman uh he's all right

we're muted milkman if you can't hear me if you can hear me rather i mean you're muted sorry i'm

i'm shuffling through milkman you there it's uh every day i'm shuffling

didn't jump for me yeah that's what i was thinking dude i like every year of my life i've totally

avoided this and now i'm in the fucking throes of it yeah that's fine you're good okay jen by the

way you're uh that was funny with the red potatoes you're like what how do you make it what do you

think customer service uh yeah you tell me one and i'll engage um give me give me just a second

and we're going to head back there.

They've got six cameras on one little spot.

This is all suspicious.

I'm real close now.

Oh, what am I doing?

Whatever you want.

Keep creative.

We might get customer service.

Oh, you tell me who's around

and I can maybe try to start some shit.

Is there anyone returning something?

Is anyone looking kind of funny

that we can get them to stop or mess with?

Yeah, well, there's...

Oh, here, I'm going to stand over here.

So, if you call the customer service,

there's tons of workers over here so perfect oh you know what you could do you know what you could

do like one of the workers if you tell us what they look like and you can just pick one yes and

then we'll ask for the manager and complain about that specific person yeah i'll be security um yeah

yes the only the only thing is is right now it's 90 i think it's all workers hold on let me look

at the wireless store right here yeah wireless what i would i would uh go ahead and do the

wireless it's a little less crowded i don't know exactly what you'll do but the wireless store's

open there's a guy there there's a wireless store there um yeah it's walmart wireless okay is it

sometimes it's their own independent deal so walmart wireless all right so i'll ask for that

is there a name tag or something that i can um there is well let's see what do you think justin

we're looking around for any kind of mark well johnny just kind of mark what jen said though

So how about the front desk just give me a description of one of the workers

because I'm going to call and say that they're trying to unionize.

I'm going to try my unionization thing again,

and I'm going to say that I'm on security now,

and that person was just trying to do a collective bargaining.

We need to get them off the floor.

Yeah.

Someone that doesn't look like a manager, you know what I mean?

Someone that doesn't look like they're high up.

Well, okay.

Like a sassy lady.

A big booty lady.

um yeah let me so i'm thinking um i've got a name right now it's not easy to get the name

jim you got to realize it's like dude it's you gotta realize it's hard to yeah you gotta realize

they gotta be kind of sneaky he can't sometimes he ends up having a little bit you know and we

we're pretty ball we're pretty ballsy but there's an element so why don't you just fucking mess with

him i'll just call the wireless yeah get the wireless guy and that'll get us going so what

what can they do even if they see you and you know they know you're fucking with them what can

they they can't do anything to you you're not gonna get your ass all right tell you what tell

me about the wireless guy what's he look like does he have a name something i can go with

uh older older guy uh yeah he's an older guy he's wearing a yellow vest they're all wearing like

and he got like a elf hat on uh yellow vest elf hat okay okay okay all right all right there we

So I'm going to call the front desk.

So where are you?

We need to get a camera on him, and we need something on the front desk,

because I'm going to report him to the front desk right now,

and we'll see if he goes to the front desk.

You got that?

Try to get a camera on that guy, and I'm going to record over here, okay?

Okay.

Cool.

We good?

All right, roll with it.

I'll talk to you guys a little bit.

All right, here we go.

All right, we'll be right here.

Just call back in, buddy.

All right.

So what's the plan?

You're going to call them?

And you're going to complain about the guy?

Yeah, the wireless guy.

Let's see, Walmart's...

Shit, I've got to hurry up.

They're waiting.

I have to edit this damn number.

They're very against the unions, you know?

And it's a big, constant brouhaha and shit about the unionizations.

You'll see in a moment.

Hopefully this works.

The party is not answering.

Oh, damn.

Please try your call later.

Yeah, I'm not sure what's going on in there, guys.

It wasn't ringing anywhere.

where um do you feel comfortable saying the name out real quick of the place or the city yeah

yeah well just hear me out real quick uh hang on give me a second give me a second

okay we looked it up all right go ahead quickly what's up uh walmart that's where i'm at got it

all right all right i'm 90 sure that yes it did not go out okay all right cool

all right yeah uh yeah i'm just gonna double check that number but here's a little difference

so let's roll with it.

Chad, any ringing action over there?

They do get really busy this time of year.

All right.

I think I've got a different idea.

I think I'm going to cut out of a big store like this

because they may be in too much chaos right now.

Yeah, but the question is what's open, then?

What are your options?

A lot of things open.

I think dollar stores are opening shit, so give me a go ahead.

Hang on.

Give me one more try.

One more shot here.

Come on.

Okay.

I just did a blatant caller ID change just in case.

All right.

I don't want to burn up too much money.

Yeah, produce, yeah, yeah.

I've been running that, yeah, because if I'm lucky, I get two hours, right?

Yeah, you've got to get some power options, some recharge on the phone.

Nobody's going to answer, so.

All right, we're going to cut out, and go ahead and do some other pranks, and we'll get a hold of you.

Okay, call me back.

I'll be here.

All right, cool.

All right, so.

You're kidding me.

Hi, yes, hi, this is Alex.

I'm calling from security here at Walmart.

I was calling to see if you could do me a favor.

I'm having an issue here on the camera.

I'm watching in the wireless location.

There's an older gentleman wearing a yellow vest and an elf hat.

Okay.

Do you know who that is?

Yeah, that's Daniel.

Okay, well, Daniel is attempting to unionize.

He just said he was going to hold a collective bargaining vote right before he started.

Really?

Yeah, we have one of our sensors in it.

It listens to all the conversations in employee areas.

is and it like if you say like union unionize and collective bargaining stuff like that it

sends up a red flag uh-huh yeah and he yeah and i ran back the video he said yeah we're going to

vote tomorrow because he was like f this f u c k this and everything um we need to get him off the

floor i need to talk to him okay um i can go get him but where should i bring him uh to this phone

here are you in the front no i'm well yeah i'm at jewelry counter jewelry goodness sake me yeah

Yeah, can you, yeah, I mean, is the front not answering?

No, you mean the service desk?

Yeah, the service desk.

No.

Why not?

I don't know.

Okay, yeah, go, go, I need to.

I usually answer the phone on third shift at the meeting room all the time.

Yeah, totally, if you don't mind, please, I need to hold, we need to get this taken care of.

I need to talk to him, or we're going to have to, like, have security escort him out.

So can you please.

Okay, where do you want me to bring him?

Right here, back to this phone, please.

So what phone are you at?

No, I'll hold the line.

Just put him on the phone with me.

Yeah, put this on hold and get him.

Can you do that for me, you think?

Yep, it'll be a minute.

Okay, I'll be right here.

I'll be right here.

Okay, so hang on a minute.

Okay, honey.

Okay.

And I don't think Jaiad knows.

I was trying to find him.

I don't have him on Skype, so I can't tell him to get his camera on.

Shit, shit, shit.

Calling him real quick.

You're calling him through Skype?

No, through the cell phone.

I have the cell phone synced up to my PC now.

That singing thing, the music, that's a default

Samsung ringtone. I can't change it on this side sync application.

There's no way to change the ringtone. Hey, they picked up

right as you hung up. The woman in jewelry...

The cop would decide to go stand right where I was standing as I walked away.

I'm not going back in there.

That's good to know. I have other Walmarts in town.

Yeah, she's in jewelry. She's the friend that's in it. She picked up in jewelry

and she's getting him now so i'm gonna roll with it uh damn all right yeah well anyway give me a

call all right all right i'll call you back yep all right cool never mind cops showed up

someone

was saying i've got low audio so i just turned it up a little bit um i don't know if

If that sounds any better, let me know, guys, on the stream.

You look all right on the levels here.

It might have been me, too.

Did you end up getting an echo at some point?

No, no.

No, okay.

Okay, all right.

Well, guys, we're going to hold here, and we've got to space it.

Jin, too, I've got to go up here real bad.

If he comes back, can you run with him until I come back, please?

Yeah, what is his name?

Daniel, right?

Daniel, and he's an old man, yellow vest, wireless, and he's trying to start a union.

I don't know what the fuck that means, but I'll go for it.

I know, go look.

And there'll be music playing, so.

Yeah.

Hi, are you still there?

Hi, yeah, this is Jim Stewart. I'm head of security. My colleague's just gone for a pee. Can I speak to Daniel, please?

He can't leave the service or leave the wireless, so he's just saying...

Well, it's obviously imperative that we speak to him. I mean, you know, this is a serious offense. He can be fired for this.

And if I suspect that there's other staff members involved, I will get everybody fired. Do you understand?

Okay, let me get my boss and then he can take care of it.

Get your boss, but most importantly, I need to speak to Daniel.

I mean, that's obviously imperative at this point.

Okay, but I mean, my boss can tell Daniel that he has to take this car.

I can't tell him to leave it.

Okay, that's fine, yeah.

Okay, hold, please.

Uh-huh.

Anything?

No, I'm back.

No, what's the name of the Walmart?

Yeah, I just spoke to the lady.

She's getting the boss.

What's the name of the Walmart?

Where is it?

Walmart in, uh, I'm not supposed to give it out.

I'm meeting everyone else.

Well, they're going to ask me.

Yeah, that's it.

Got it?

That's true.

Yeah, let me speak to the manager.

I just want to ask him some questions.

all right i know what i do this is going to be interesting because the manager's going to come

and i'm going to be talking about daniel's she lady said basically that daniel couldn't come

to the phone because he's working in uh uh wireless he can't leave the wireless ah well

he's trying to well that's fine because i'm going to fuck i'm going to tell the manager to go and

get him and to make sure that he comes otherwise everybody's fired miss i forgot the fucking name

sorry everybody i left the volume download when i muted it for uh jayad secret message password

word so yeah i noticed that the new mixer version it lets you set your quality that's kind of cool

stuff like dialer he was having problems before because the high quality overhead um the bandwidth

overhead you can bring it down to low low quality now that should help out especially for mobile

listeners i put it in high for now but um it's kind of cool so i guess you can set your quality

to make it a little easier to stream so you can still record it in in high definition put that

on on whatever and then people can still listen in like lower quality yeah that seems to be the

the case i haven't tested it fully but that's my theory very clever very clever they're starting

to get it they're starting to get the picture i think i just fixed their chat shit they'll be

good to go do we ever get milkman back i don't know she dropped over here i don't want to do

any ringing right now oh i think they were listening the whole time no i doubt that they

just hung up did they yeah no fucking way yeah shit oh well my bad that's my fault i should have

it's not your fault at all we should call them back and make it you know we'll see if they answer

but yeah we'll call them back here we go let me get milkman first though uh-huh we got more numbers

we can try from parkman we got some uk wankers here we got some people to put ads for stuff for

sale we can always call a lot of people asking why brad isn't doing a show i'm sure he would

have done it if he wasn't out of town he's out of state visiting family so he cannot cannot do

a show tonight i'm pretty sure he's going to be around tomorrow to help out a little hey milkman

man there you are so could you hear me at all or i wasn't hearing back from you like you got

really low man i could not hear you hold on let me get my uh connect your stuff again i think what

your headset or whatever keeps disconnecting and you can't hear what's we can't hear you or vice

versa no i had it on mute dude i didn't make any noise i've been cooking and shit but like i

couldn't hear you real loud okay well you gotta tell me normally the volume level kind of comes

is sort of high but not this time it's really low oh but if you hear me saying you know if i'm asking

hey man because i don't know if you're disconnected i feel bad to just cut it off used to be it was

like cranking so loud i could barely stand it tonight it's kind of low it seems a little bit

but that's all i know wow thanks for having me back no problem man all right i'm just trying

to fix this computer here so i can try to oh yeah he's been i'm still here yeah he's helping out

we're good oh there's my brother good good jayad was at a walmart we were trying to get them to

uh uh i was trying to get them get a call there while jay was in there in person recording it

video video wise but unfortunately find out how that ever went if they were going down yet yeah

it didn't go it didn't work out they didn't answer until jay had to leave and then um yeah

police a cop showed up so it wasn't like in response he was just a cop that was there i guess

okay security came or walmart walmart damn you um yeah all right so what can we we can call some

more uh denny's also we should definitely try the walmart again um because i can you know we can say

that we're calling from um i've got the headquarters in bentonville arkansas it is so um we can sort of

ask that or we can say we're from the headquarters on there for a grid locator tells you where

restaurants have it oh that's cool okay thanks for calling hello yeah yeah hi who am i speaking

to speak to the senior manager. This is Jim Stewart. I'm the senior supervisor. I'm in

Bentonville, Arkansas. Okay, which manager do you want to speak to? The most senior manager

that you've got there. Okie dokie, would you please hold? Thanks. How may I help you? Hi,

who am I speaking with? System Manager Roger. What's your name, sorry? System Manager Roger.

Mr. Rogers? Yeah. Okay, Mr. Rogers, this is Jim Stewart. I'm head of security. We're based in

Bentonville, Arkansas, so we're at the headquarters. I've got a series of videos here

from members of staff in your staff team there um i think uh we've got we've been watching a video

of a guy who's sort of in an elf hat you got a shirt elderly person we did call before and we

were told this is daniel is that his name okay yeah well we need to find out what's going on

here because you know he's obviously not he's up to something that isn't very good and we need to

speak to him if that's possible um yep hold on one second thank you and here we are yeah they can't

hear what we're seeing right now okay good right well i'm i've got a really good idea i'm gonna

fuck with this guy i don't know it you did ask for daniel right yeah yeah and i'm pretty sure

they're at the front because they picked up fast yeah good right there they're gonna be like he

can't leave well fuck i'm gonna say mr rogers accused him of this shit i gotta say he's gonna

fire him i had a chuckle at mr rogers all right what the fuck was that i didn't even hear what

he said did he say manager roger uh assistant manager rogers i think oh something like that

That's a stupid cut.

Stupid cut.

Fucking cut.

Was it Jeffrey Jackson that answered that we were deporting?

Yeah.

All right, good.

Just checking where I'm at at that list.

Marion Manheim.

They sure got some funny names.

Jeffrey Jackson.

Marion Manheim.

Lee Balls.

God damn, I got the vapors.

Why does it take so long to fetch a member of staff?

They're very, very busy.

I don't give a fuck.

It needs to be fucking faster.

I thought it was someone else, but then they hear the other call and it's like,

I've missed it a lot of times.

Where did everybody go?

We're here, Milkman. We're here. We're waiting. We're waiting.

I thought I was losing my mind for a second.

It's all right. It's all right. It's all right.

Milkman, what are you thankful for?

I'm thankful to have you around as a friend after all these years.

What does Daniel do wrong?

Sorry. Mr. Rogers, I've been on hold for quite a while there.

Obviously, it's quite important that I speak to him.

This is a security issue. It doesn't necessarily concern you.

I understand you're the assistant manager. You're not actually the permanent manager there. Is that right?

I understand that, but what is it concerning?

Well, the concern is that he's trying to start a union.

He's getting other members of staff a little bit round up.

And obviously, I don't know what the plot is, but, you know, we've been watching quite carefully.

And he's flocking with other members of staff, you know, flocking into corners and having little chats.

They're exchanging notes. Something is certainly going on.

And we need to find out from him what the problem is.

I can't do this through you. I need to speak directly to him.

I understand that he's working. I understand that, you know, the wireless department needs to be busy, etc.

etc but you know this is imperative and at the end of the day if there really is something going on

you know somebody's going to lose the job okay so i do need to speak to him you know pretty much

prompt because i've got other work to do as well and i need to be monitoring the security so i need

to continue to see what's going on and while he's in there walking around doing his union stuff

trying to get other people to join him or whatever uh you know this is not really good for us or for

you um i mean i can i can probably try to get hold of one of my senior supervisors but um if i do

that somebody is going to get into a lot of trouble and i don't really necessarily need to

do that now i'd rather find out what's going on from daniel first if that's possible mr rogers

he went to get him i think that's what i say at some point he did i think i kind of heard

something i hear him i hear commotion back there there he is he's got the phone on his hand he's

Is that covering the mouthpiece so we can hear it?

Okay.

You can give him a hello if you want.

Hello?

Hey, sir.

Yes, hello.

You will need to call back tomorrow and talk to either Storm...

That's not going to be possible.

Mr. Rogers, I'm going to make this very clear to you, okay?

I'm actually...

I'm at the headquarters, okay?

We're in Bensonville.

I can talk to the senior supervisors.

I can have you lose your job.

Something is going on.

It's my responsibility to ensure the safety of members of staff and of the people that

are going shopping.

So, you know, at the end of the day, customer priority and then the staff.

And I am security supervisor, so it's my responsibility.

If I tell my boss that you're not cooperating, you will lose your job.

Do you understand?

Mr. Rogers.

He left again.

For fuck's sake.

I wonder if he's going to get the cop because he's a safety on.

We've got to stop these unions, man.

I've been on this anti-union thing.

It's funny.

More like a fucking cult going on.

Yeah, well, yeah.

I don't know what the fuck you're doing about unions and shit.

And I'm just like, yeah, okay.

I don't know.

Do they call them guilds over there, maybe?

No, I don't know.

They're probably calling unions over here, too.

I understand what they do.

There's just no purpose of it.

Oh, it's just collective bargaining.

That's all.

It's a bunch of people getting together, fucking plotting shit.

So basically, the majority of the workers here, let's say, or the crucial amount of them,

basically say, hey, if we don't like what's going on, we don't get a fair deal in our eyes,

we won't work.

That's what they say.

That's what they do.

kind of that's what their their their tool is they're gonna you know not we're not gonna work

you know the unions over here what they did is they stopped the hello yep you're gonna have

yeah mr rogers can i speak to daniel or not yep no well that's fine mr rogers okay what do you

mean okay i need to speak to daniel right now oh what the fuck what is he doing he's like oh yep

nope oh all right that's fine i demand that he be fired right this instant i demand it i will fire

I'm fucking coming

Fuck that

Uh we're still waiting

On a call from Jaya

To see if we can get

Some video action going on

Oh I've been here

We lost him

Yeah

We got Marion here

Marion

For fuck's sake

It's alright Jaya

Uh Jaya

Jen

Wrong J

Oh my god

I had such a great idea

I was really gonna fuck with it

Alright now

We get more

Don't worry

We get more

More numbers

I came from honey

Hello

Hi is that Marion Manheim

Speaking

You're a descendant

Of the Mayflower people

people um you're no longer allowed to be here you have to get out the property off the land

hello you're allowed to be here no you need to go back to holland back to holland okay yeah who is

my friend on the other line at this oh you know i guess and i'll tell you if it's me you're probably

you know come on happy thanksgiving tell guests already so i can tell you happy thanksgiving

Well, thank you for saying that.

I'm glad my guy came and sat there and was my pen.

You know who I am?

No, I'm having trouble.

Oh, come on.

Guess.

You know who it is.

Come on.

I don't know.

One guess.

What?

If you get it wrong, I'll tell you who I am.

Well, you're probably one of the gentlemen that sat at the table with us at the Mayflower

Gathering.

Yes.

Yes, it's me.

How are you?

What?

How are you?

God bless you.

How are you?

you okay um it's been fun talking yeah listen i was wondering i i had a feeling that you guys

are swingers you know so i was wondering if maybe i could come by tomorrow black friday and i could

do some porking over there i can pork your husband pork you you guys can watch each other you know i

can watch you guys well look we really hit it off we really hit it off that night you know let me

talk let me talk to him i caught him staring at my crotch a few times i know you guys are into it

come on she had some trouble hanging up the phone they're just trying to find the

one of those old elderly pensioner phone hang-ups that we get

you're calling her back yeah do you want me to try it and do the same thing yeah

what's her name breaking news we got jayad calling hello please leave a message after the tone jayad

hey what's up oh hey what's up what do you got what's going on um could you get my message

uh i say yes so you know what my location is what mall on that i see it yes i do lots of open stores

so bring up yep yeah bring up their bring up their directory and i'll give you the names of

places the the whole hey i'm corporate and customer this customer i don't know if that's

gonna work too well because things are just moving too fast around here okay so i'm thinking just be

a pissed off customer or deranged to fucking you bought something and this and that you know just

still random as hell even if it isn't the greatest call trust me it'll work it'll use it'll work

idea you know the security thing can actually work because we can say that we saw one of the

customers trying to steal something yeah we just need to that color we've done that yeah we've

done that i just think it's i just think it's i think it's moving too quick okay um give me a

score i got it i got the directory tell me i'm gonna go into the shoe depot shoe depot all right

All right, the shoe department?

Yep.

Is that what you're saying?

No.

Yeah, the shoe, yeah, D-E-T-T.

Thank you.

All right, so that's what we got.

All right, shoe department, you're up.

I love you, man.

I really do.

All right.

And are you looking for, like, a description or somebody then, or what?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, give us the descriptions on.

Yeah, give us someone who looks fun, like a good target, and we're going to get them.

We're going to get them.

All right.

I would say, hold on a second.

God, I can't tell if they guys are working.

or I'm standing outside looking in there, I would say,

not trying to get the baby with an eye on something with him,

I would say an older guy, green jacket, carrying some bags.

Green jacket, tan hat, green jacket, tan hat, trying on some shoes,

and he's in all the way over to the left.

All the way over to the left.

Green jacket, tan pants.

Tan hat.

Yeah, he's trying on shoes right now.

Oh, trying on shoes.

is okay 10-4 you got a camera on him camera on the front you're good to go uh yeah yeah we're

walking in and out well shit motherfucker let's do this all right all right what carlita rather

than saying that you're actually like security or something you'd be better off saying that

you're a customer and you were in the store and you saw it and then you left okay yeah we can do

that because that sounds more realistic then because it's security who's going to call them

to get we don't have to get all crazy like that let's try that yeah yeah yeah the shoe department

Mrs. Rachel speaking.

How may I help you?

Listen, my name is Alex.

I was just there shopping, and there's a man, like an older man.

He's got a green jacket on, tan hat.

He was trying on shoes back there.

I don't know if you know who that is.

He pulled his pants down way in the back, and he put the shoe up to his backside, and he defecated in it.

I saw it, and then he took a piece of toilet paper from his pants pocket, and he wiped it and everything.

and he put it he smeared it all over it smelled really bad my my daughter was like oh my god daddy

he you know he did uh kaka kaki like hockey who did that i looked and he was just zipping up his

pants and um you could smell the feces in the shoe department yes yeah i'm an older guy green

jacket and i said hey sir what was that what was that about he said you didn't see nothing you

didn't see nothing he said like that he's sick okay um do you know what he was all the way in

the left side the left side all the way on the left side in that aisle old guy thank you green

jacket tan hat okay thank you very much oh my god i'm sorry he did cocky witnessing that oh my god

it was horrible is it safe to come in now i'm well i'll come back and i'm a witness i'll come

back and i'm a witness so all right can you go go get him you're gonna bring him to the front

because i'll come right back but i'm i'm my daughter i'm gonna leave her i don't want her

her to see him yeah fine all right go get him i'll be right there okay hurry hurry okay

did i add anything this is fucking you're genius man that was really good there's shit in his shoe

i've never heard it's brilliant he's fucking shit in his shoe you didn't see nothing you didn't see

nothing oh fuck i'm dying nothing yeah yeah shit yeah i can't wait i hope i hope she really goes

and finds it i hope something's going on i hope they're not just like shit in a fucking shoe

Jesus, brilliant.

Fuck it, Al.

Imagine him right now.

This guy's saying...

I thought you were going somewhere else.

I thought he was, like, stealing it

or shoving it up his ass,

but there's fucking shit in his shoe.

That's so good.

At least he wiped his ass.

Ew, he smeared it all over the thing, right?

That's nasty.

So we'll hold here.

It is nasty, but it's fucking funny as hell.

We'll wait for a giant contact, hopefully.

Oh, my God.

He should be hearing us.

He's got us on mute probably

because the shit's going down, you know.

Right.

Yeah, he can't.

but i wish he'd just take it off mute even if he didn't talk to so we could hear it at least you

know yeah yeah we hear some commotion back there if there is hey what's up what happened anything

no no no no yeah she's gonna look at him and she's probably calling security now so this is

why i'm saying these kind of calls aren't gonna work these high school girls are not gonna go

after you know maybe we can just get the customers to be a you know your best bet is to be a pissed

off-customer, man. I'm telling you.

That's your best bet for tonight.

What about actually calling up to say

you know one of the customers, get the customer

on the phone, and then fuck with the customer?

Let's do a survey.

Can you stay in position?

Can you stay in position and Jen can try to be an angry

customer? Because he's got different voice.

Yeah. Alright, Jen, are you okay with that?

Yeah, angry customer, angry about what?

About your shoes. Tell them the shoes.

You know,

you know,

here's the thing. I don't know if I want to stick around

I'm great here because I am truly sure she wouldn't contact the security.

Oh, don't worry.

What are they going to do?

You're not doing anything wrong.

They can't prove you're doing jack shit.

No, no, no, no.

I'd just rather not.

What I'm saying is I'd rather not waste time.

What did you say?

Hang on a minute.

I'm calling and I'm pissed off about what, though?

I don't know.

The shoe.

Someone with a shoe.

Thank you for calling the shoe department.

This is April.

How can I help you?

This is Jen Stewart.

Hi.

Listen, I was in the store probably about an hour ago.

And I was trying on different shoes.

and you know one of the shoes just absolutely fucking stunk obviously it was disgusting i don't

know who's put their feet in there but i tell you what if i'm never gonna buy shoes from you guys

again what the hell is going on over there i mean that's not even sanitary i mean how can you how

can you have shoes on the shelf with a stink like that you know people are putting their feet in

there and i had to but i was put my foot in there was a nice shoe right but if it stinks what the

hell is going on i mean don't you guys would you like change the shoes or spray them with some

staff what the hell um we know how to answer well you can answer by saying yeah okay yes we either

clean them or no we don't clean them and this all the shoes absolutely stink of shit and you know

what the hell i mean how can you treat customers this way you know we're trying to obviously you

how are you going to stay in business you know with shoes like that absolutely stunk i i tell

tell you what go and see the shoe that i was trying on there's a black kind of boot lace shoe

uh with some broguing on the side i tell you what it absolutely stunk okay and i'm really pissed off

with that because you know i i don't i don't go shopping in places to to you know end up with

stuff like that i tried to tell one of your members of staff everybody's fucking busy you

know what the hell is this hello hold on one second i'm gonna switch you to my manager yeah

I don't appreciate your language, so you can speak to her, okay?

Yeah, yeah, I'll speak to her.

This is the manager. How can I help?

Yeah, hi. Listen, I was in the store a couple of hours ago trying on shoes.

I just spoke to a colleague.

Tried to explain that one of the shoes I was trying on absolutely stunk.

And I'm absolutely furious with this because at the end of the day, it's not really sanitary.

And it's not actually fair that you guys have got shoes like that and you're not changing them.

You're not washing them.

You know, other people are trying them on.

They're putting their dirty feet in those shoes.

It absolutely stunk.

I cannot believe that you would have shoes on a shelf like those.

Why would you do that?

Sir, I'm not aware of mouth.

Well, listen, I don't care what you're aware of or not.

At the end of the day, that's absolutely disgusting.

And I tell you what, I'm in the mood to call a lawyer and just to say, you know, this is completely unsanitary.

If I get something now, like a verruca or some kind of infection on my foot, you are going to be at the absolute end of my bollocks because I'm going to make sure that I see you to the fucking ground.

Do you understand?

sand that's absolutely disgusting language talking to me sir well i tell you what put yourself put

yourself in my shoes lady put yourself in my shoes they stunk okay well you know we have footies that

you can try on well i'd say why don't you change them then change what sir change the shoes what

are you stupid or something you're supposed to be the manager there right i'm making a complaint

i'm making a serious complaint i'm telling you i was there i tried the shoe absolutely stuck and

And all you're telling me is, oh, yeah, we've got shoes.

What's wrong with you?

There's nothing wrong with me, sir.

Well, there probably is, you know, because you're not really treating me as a good customer.

You're not really taking the complaint seriously.

And at the end of the day, that's not fair at all.

Because, you know, I moved to America from the UK.

Things are very different over there.

If I talk to a manager over there, I expect some respect and some seriousness.

You're just like, yeah, you know, you don't really care.

I'm taking your request.

I'm just curious as to what I'm supposed to do.

you at the end of the day why you've got stinky shoes on the shelves do you know what i mean sir

i wasn't aware that the shoes stunk or had a smell until you're what don't you smell them or change

them what am i supposed to change about them we don't return worn merchandise suck their foot in

it and previously well i'll tell you what you should do you should go and smell all the shoes

and change the ones with a new wooden shoe every time that one shoe stinks okay sure well sir no

you're obviously not taking it seriously are you you know what i mean how are you going to get

customers like that if it stinks like that i'm i apologize for this yeah i'm sure it was you who

made that fucking sting right you shat in the shoe is that right that is i don't give a fuck at the

end of the day you guys have got stinky fucking shoes all over the shelves and you got managers

who shit in the shoes you know that at the end of the day that's fucking stupid you know

i'm not cursing at you i'm just generally cursing you know freedom of speech etc etc

i don't want you to shit in the shoes anymore you're gonna make a promise to me that you're

You're going to stop shitting in the fucking shoes, okay?

Yeah, you.

You were shitting in the shoes, bitch.

You were doing that.

I personally tried on a man's shoe and did this.

Yeah, yeah.

I bet you shit in all the men's shoes.

You're like one of these fucking feminists.

You hate men.

And you're shitting in the shoes.

You're like, fuck all men.

They're going to smell the shit.

That's what you do, right?

I don't even know if that didn't get videoed.

That was funny.

Oh, my God.

I should have done it with a voice.

I'm sorry.

With both of them, you weren't cursing at them.

You were cursing about the shoe.

Yeah, exactly.

And they're like, stop cursing at me.

Oh, fuck off.

The first girl cried.

She cried?

It sounded like they were saying in the chat room.

No fucking way.

She sounded like, I don't know.

You can't curse at me.

Oh, shit.

Jad.

Starling.

Hang on a minute.

Starling in the chat room said he's impressed I knew what broguing was.

At the end of the day, listen to me, Mr. Starling.

I'm a gentleman, okay?

Yeah, I know a lot about shoes, and I know a lot about watches and class.

So, yeah, be impressed.

Jack, this is brilliant.

What? You got it?

Yes.

Good, good, good.

He said brilliant.

You filmed it.

Yeah, he's got it.

Good.

You're on the YouTube with the reaction.

It's fun.

All right.

That's awesome.

That's great.

That's good stuff.

This song goes out to all the Syrians out there.

And we'll hold it here for Jai to get in a position where he can report.

poor giant yeah oh yeah that was brilliant uh very good jim that you fucking flipped that lady

right out um see what i mean that's what that tonight with that with just the atmosphere

that's what's gonna work okay if you don't have to make them all like that you know what i mean

just a unique weird stuff this is this very much reminded me of your gorilla glue call

that that you did earlier that nobody's seen yet yeah yeah very much like that so let's let's let's

same for that dude that lady we sat and talked to her for a minute justin did justin is a major

great cameraman i'm so scared with my camera in my hand i'm such a pussy good thing i know how to

edit that's awesome great great yeah well yeah and the thing is did they do anything

um she was tailing him around for a while but then she was the same lady who got the

uh the phone given to her after that and i will be able to chop that down to three four minutes

it easily there's a ton of shit so um the security show up you were worried about security and i had

to tell you basically hey come on i was i was and then it's like i just was and i don't i prefer to

avoid that i threw you into it i was like come on hey hey i had to throw you in the point want to

do the next one yeah this one's you okay yeah give me a campus store i'm gonna go into campus

then campus den is all michigan or michigan state stuff and and that's you know you know how that's

It's a big rivalry, right?

University of Peru.

It is.

Yeah, it's the white with them.

They're a Michigan State thing?

They probably have Ohio State, believe it or not.

Yeah, you could just think of something weird and roll with it

and tell me when you're ready and we'll walk in.

Give me a second.

I'm pulling up their website now.

So which school would they be supporting?

Spartans?

They have both.

I know they have a little bit of tight.

It's mostly Michigan on one side and Michigan State on the other.

And there's probably some Ohio State stuff.

the middle do they have hats there do they have hats uh they have hats sweatshirts um

basically you know gloves all right anything like that i got it you know what i mean we're

gonna do a the hat got shit in i'm gonna complain about it it's the highest hate you can hate each

other man yeah yeah oh yeah well you know you can ask dwight about it he's really into this

robbery he curses bomb every year we play each other he's like fuck you bro good job tell me

ready um i'm ready when you're ready are you ready yeah hold on i'm trying to get something

working here oh you're right um roll roll cool yeah i'll talk to you later then all right see

you later all right see you bye yeah hey big ronda i was there i was looking at them hats

the hats there's a michigan state hat there i put it on and i swear to god motherfucking my head

head smells like shit like feces my head smells like feces and then my daughter told me that while

we're in there she saw a guy with a hat um and he went to the back he unzipped his pants he pulled

on his pants and he shit in the hat and that he he must have put it back and it must be the hat

that i put on my head it's a michigan state hat okay is it a ball cap or is it yeah it's a big m

Well, it wouldn't be Michigan.

It's a big Michigan.

What's it called?

Michigan?

I don't know.

See, this is what I get.

I don't like sports.

I don't like hats.

And my daughter dragged me in there.

She goes to the university, and she's like, oh, dad, you need to come see my school stuff.

I hate her fucking ass.

I hate her so fucking much.

I'm not even from up here.

I'm just here visiting her for the holidays.

She drug me down here, and I put a hat on.

It's got shit in the hat.

I got feces in my hair.

Yeah, I was in Michigan.

Go get the hat.

Was it yellow or green?

Yeah, yellow.

Go get it.

i will show you what i'm talking about you have it go get it go get it well i'm waiting on a

go get it oh hang on i'm calling back jen jen you can try me try what am i gonna say i don't know

i got it i got it you got it you take it just ronda how may i help you i'm sorry ronda i'll

hold all right i'm sorry okay okay so what i don't even know what hat yep it was an adidas hat

adidas hat it says a big m on it adidas hat uh-huh yeah should be i guess was it a size one or what

was it yeah it was like one of those fitted ones do you have it a fitted hat it was one of the

snap that i don't know i think it made a snap back i think my daughter was saying i don't know

what they're called i'm just a hat i don't wear this stuff see you have no hats a lot of hats

like that but not like what you're speaking of pick one up and i'll tell you exactly what to

to look for you have one i have a lot of hat pick one up i'm telling you to pick it up i don't know

what part of that you don't understand what do you mean pick it up something or what i know what

hat it is if you tell me to pick it up and i can tell you what to look at to see if it's the one

i marked it what am i looking for what am i looking at do you have the hat in your hand

there's quite a few hats here so i wouldn't really know turn the hat upside down and i'll

I'll tell you.

There's a lot of M's.

Pick up one of the hats.

Turn it upside down.

Okay, what?

Smell it.

I don't see any hands.

Smell the one that you're looking at right in front of you.

Smell it, and I'll tell you what the problem is.

Smell it.

What is the problem?

Did you smell it yet?

No.

Well, I'm not going to tell you until you smell it.

Okay.

At least you got something silly, I hope, Jaya.

You can do something with that.

All right.

All right, we'll hold for Jaya to come back, and then he's in a safe position.

So was he actually filming, he was filming that?

Yeah, he was filming that, I'm presuming.

As far as I can tell.

What's that noise?

It's a car.

Jaya, what do you got for me?

What do you got?

What's the status?

Yeah, you seem to have upset her.

I'm not sure something about a hat.

I don't know anything else, but we got it.

I want her to smell the hat.

She wouldn't smell it, I guess.

Oh, okay, okay.

It's fine.

I can definitely use some of that material.

There you go.

It's a little something.

Yep, yep, yep.

No, no, no.

For what we're building, for what we're building,

even little jokes can pay off isn't that funny all right so um what we got next so next there's a

there's a place called yeah it's the same place yeah yeah hold on we're we're looking around give

us just a minute okay no problem take it we're good i got the pager you guys having fun hey

yeah i was gonna say uh jim have you ever done anything like this where you got people out

recording live yeah yeah we we did it a long long time ago when i first joined the network we had

we had a different um pcn and pcr and uh we had some guy we called i was with k i think i was with

katie k i'm not sure if carlito was there actually i had a guy who was in a shop i was at the

walgreens by my house and i recorded it i got no no no this is a different one we had we had a guy

we had a guy i remember that one i did my own show and you did uh you were live and you were

were there watching when i flipped on the phone but there was another one we did where we had a

guy writing i heart pcr on the on a sign and holding it up to the webcam that was quite funny

so we did that but nothing like this that you're doing is it's quite interesting

pcu maybe hey i wonder i wonder if the whole mall is about to close soon guys

because i see people packing up so we're gonna try to get one more store um sensors well that's

It's weird because it's not even midnight yet.

Midnight, they'd be open.

Spencer's.

All right, Spencer.

Did you hear me?

Yeah, Spencer.

Spencer Gifts.

I got you.

Yeah.

All right, go ahead, Jess.

Can you go first?

I do.

I'm going to call it.

I know they have these vibrators there.

I'm going to talk about their dirty cards.

This is Elena.

How can I help you?

Oh, hi.

You have the cards, the greeting cards.

Greeting cards?

You have greeting cards?

cards what kind of cards are you asking for i'm sorry the dirty greeting cards yeah we have some

greeting cards that are dirty yeah i need there's one in particular i need to talk about can you go

by them i'll tell you which one it is i'm helping out a customer right now could i any possible

like put you on hold for a little bit how long you think honey baby a little bit not too long

right okay not too long how about customer i'll be right here hello thanks for calling

calling Spencer. This is Damien speaking.

Yeah, hey, Amy. I was calling about the

greeting cards. What kind of greeting card are you

looking for? Are you with the dirty ones?

We have a ton of dirty ones. We have

ones for Christmas. We just have some plain

dirty ones for birthdays. Birthdays?

It's a birthday one. Can you go to the birthday ones?

I'll see if I can explain to you which one it was.

Okay. Alright, which ones do you see right there?

The top left birthday one. Can you tell

me what's in the front? Yep, give me one

second. Alright, alright. Fez, Jim?

Fez? No, what the fuck is it? Pretty good.

It was a really cool platformer.

um it was a two-dimensional character who was able to go into the 3d world it was really really cool

really well made it sounds like that then um what did that little guy on playstation it was like a

sack little big planet or something like that i don't know if that was yeah but the fest was

really cool because you can rotate and stuff it's really cool and then um the sequel the guy like it

everything went to his head this was this whole independent developer made this really awesome

game that a lot of people loved and then he like got really sensitive online

about criticism and said I'm not ever gonna release a sequel you guys

already yeah okay really have like a little bit like so many people and

prank call community do all the time oh man it's taking a long time to get a

green card John if you get a chance try to get green card cuz I don't think he's

anywhere near that damn machine flabby birds number two pincers well no two

Two Pants, I think, wasn't the Flappy Bird guy, wasn't he like a Vietnamese guy, like a straight up Vietnamese guy, and it just, he got stressed out about it?

It was more about him, like, I think he was like a, grew up in a communist society and was thrust into this.

Alright, I am back.

Hi, honey.

Hello?

Hey, you there? Oh, hey, I wasn't talking to you, I'm sorry, I was talking to my dog.

Alright, so I got quite a few of them.

Alright, well, the one that was like, I think was up in the top left, there's a few up there, the birthday section, can you just tell me what it was?

Alright, could you describe it to me?

Well, if you could tell me what was on the front, I'd know for sure which one it was.

We do have multiples that do spin, so we do have multiple sides that could be on the top left.

You said it was a birthday one.

We have old people birthdays.

We have young people birthdays.

We have cars directed towards the mills, and we have cars directed towards the...

There was a woman on the front.

All right.

Which one is the one you're looking at, please?

Just grab that one.

We do have quite a few of them.

Grab one.

Got it.

Tell me what's on the front, what it says, please, what it has.

All right.

Do we have one that just says happy birthday on the front?

My mother, that's what...

And a girl that has a bunch of titties.

A bunch of titties.

All right.

And then the inside, open it.

And if you could tell me what it says, please.

It says from both of us.

And it's like her big titties.

It got a bunch of titties.

That's very matter-of-fact about it.

That's right.

Good one.

I don't know if that's doable.

I don't know if you got anything from that giant.

Let me know.

Hold it here.

That fucking Spencer store, man.

I'm too old for that store now.

I'm almost 40.

I'm getting there.

Show up in there like, oh, look at this boat.

He's not cool.

This guy's in here looking for cassette tapes.

Yeah.

The first time I ever heard Dr. Lego was on a cassette tape I bought from the guy.

Good job.

Good job, gentlemen.

Did it work?

How did he look?

How did he take it?

Well, he went around getting cards, and I watched him while you called back and talked

to the lady, and I seen her say, I'm not going to say PLA, go away.

And then I also got the video of the guy putting the cards back in there.

Oh, that one wasn't me.

That one wasn't me.

That's some guy probably trolling the places you're at then.

if you said

the guy didn't say

PLA go away

that was someone else

oh that wasn't you guys

that was somebody else

oh we got a

Ben fan

did you get video of him

stupid fan

yeah I got

we got videos

of everything

that's cool

so I know

who's out there

listen

yeah fan

who's out there

if you happen

to have that

on tape

please send it to me

there's a good chance

that you'll make

an episode of

Call of Cthulhu

so thank you

at least they didn't

bust us

or was it Oliver

someone did it

it was George

I don't know

someone did it

yeah somebody

was playing

Diggs

so you guys

already off

anyways that was

pretty

that was

interesting

I don't know

what the call

was I just

seen the dude

go gather

up a bunch

of cards

and then the

manager later

on told him

if you

want to go

get cards

he's going to

have to just

come in and

look at them

can you go to

Auntie Anne's

but just to eat

which one

can you go to

Auntie Anne's

but just to eat

yeah that's

down here

yeah we could

I could definitely do that one.

No, yeah, give me a minute.

I think, what did you say, Justin?

Oh, the bong shop's closed?

Damn it, we were going to go to the bong shop.

Hey, can you go to the bong shop here?

Are you close to Onyann's?

Because I have something really silly I just thought of.

Just really freaking silly.

Yeah, we are about two minutes away.

All right, well, what's next then?

What do you want me to do?

Well, no, no, that's fine.

We can hit any of these places.

If they're open, did you see if they're open?

Yeah, what time? Hey, what is the time?

What is the time, brother?

11.57 Eastern.

okay okay so why don't we uh why don't we do like one more here then we'll take a peek around

um when we leave here um and then and then you guys go back to regular shit according to my

info they are closing at midnight at the mall and they're reopening at 6 a.m so you guys are

uh reopening at 6 a.m okay all right yeah it's better it's i got that feel too so yeah everybody

seems to be gathering shit yeah i'm surprised that most places are doing until two and stuff

But, hey, the good news is...

Oh, my light's been shut off.

Ah, shit.

Yeah, it's...

Yeah, let's go back the other way, then.

Yeah, they're shutting the lights off.

So, hey, we'll give you guys a call back in a little bit.

Go ahead and have some fun.

Yeah, there should be other stores, though.

And then I'll message you.

There should be other stores, yeah.

And I'm all warmed up now, man.

Old Navy usually stays open pretty late towards the roughs, you know, the UFO offenders.

Dude, hey, you know, when that guy was getting carts, I literally stood next to him because he couldn't see me.

He was too focused on carts.

i stood next to him and lifted my camera and put it in his face oh that is awesome

that is great did you get him saying a bunch of titties did you get him saying that because

i don't know i i don't know it's hard for us to tell um i mean the thing is is when

it's all synced up it'll be fine yeah yeah um my audio that i captured here i don't know until

after so all right i'll get i'll give you guys a call back in just a little bit okay all right

right no problem give me a call i'm here see all right it's giant everybody giant reporting live

uh black friday damn because the onions you know they got these these like pretzels that

wrap around these little hot dogs and i just was gonna say they look like little peepees

just to see if they look like it that's gonna be real creepy um oh well no onions uh so now

Now we're on our own again.

I'm scared.

Hey, that number I sent you in Facebook from last week.

All right.

So this is a pedophile.

Did you get a chance to deal with that?

What the fuck?

He sent me a number for a pedophile, as you would say.

Why the fuck would he do that?

What the hell?

How did you find this cunt?

You should send it to the fucking police.

Yeah, we can do it.

I'm doing it now.

So this guy is...

Thank you, sir.

Recall the motherfucker.

But wait a minute, Milkman.

Can you elaborate?

This isn't the pedophile.

His wife is a pedophile?

pedophile his husband his his her husband is a pedophile i'm sorry i think the man is

the man name the man's name is jeff and he's a pedophile my name is jeff here's a fun to be

had with it well here it goes thank you curious to see what you're gonna be oh this isn't pa i

shouldn't be calling i'll do it your call has been forwarded to an automatic voicemail

i'll call back i'll call back we'll give it a shot thank you very much for trying

You got it, man.

You got it.

Ethan's giving me a number.

He said, call the security place again.

Is that Cobra Security?

I'll give it a shot.

I don't know if it's Cobra or not.

Man, the dinner come out so good, man.

You're welcome to have some.

Oh, yeah?

You can puree it for me.

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

No answer, milkman.

I tried.

All circuits are busy now.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm missing a digit.

All right, so this may be Cobra Security.

This is a listener named Ethan who's saying that.

He said, oh, the 55 overplay.

Overplay. So this is the place I called

a recent show where I said there was an

old guy jerking off. I can do it. That was in

Disco? Alfred E. Newman?

I know. I recognize this tune. What the fuck?

This is a great song. This is

The Four Tops. Previous song was The Supremes.

There's nothing Disco about that. Hello?

Yeah, hi. We got an issue in

Zone 2. Uh, who is this?

Uh, this is Cross. We need to get

someone in Zone 2. There's an elderly man

masturbating inside the bushes.

Oh, is that right? Yeah. You got a problem?

I hear you got balls.

remembers he remembers oh my god should we call him back yeah i will i think he ran outside real

quick to go double check that's how to get his camera let me call it back i'm gonna say i'm the

one that's peeing all right uh let me just uh adjust the color id he remembers i should have

gone with something different put on an old man voice you know ah i'm just having a piss

The Queen.

I think that sounds good.

The Queen.

Just a second.

All right, I'm ready to go.

Here we go.

Okay, good.

I love it.

I'm very excited.

I'm taking a piss.

Not a joke.

Good morning, Edgewood Security.

Yes, hello.

I would just like to let you know that I'm in Zone 2,

and I'm having a whiz in the bushes.

Would you like to come over here so I can pee all over your face?

Hello?

Come on over to Zone 2.

get covered in pee and poo because that's how i do hello i let him go he's not saying anything

yeah i was too i was too quick into it that's fine you got your message out you got we got

a little piss in there i like that voice oh yeah thank you

yeah all right interesting let's call uk wanker i got here uh this is m james m james in manchester

hello yeah hi is that mr james miss james pardon miss james yeah what is it yeah hi we need you to

step outside of the house pardon you you need to step you need to get outside of the house

why so because you're making too much noise no are you shitting me did you use the toilet

yeah did you take a shit in the toilet hole pardon did you take a shit in the toilet hole

Pardon?

Did you take a shit in the toilet hole?

I don't know what you mean.

You have to speak clearly.

Jen, speak her language, please.

Talk to your people.

Hello?

What language are you speaking?

She's gone.

Ah, good callback.

She a British citizen?

I don't know what language you are.

I'm going to find out.

Ah, bitch.

Ah, bitch, cunt hole.

Last try.

We got a Phillips James instead.

Phillips James.

Hello?

Hello, sir?

Hello?

Yes, I'd like to place an order, please.

Hello, Phillips James.

He's fucking himself, man.

I guess.

I don't know what he did.

He put the phone up his ass and fell asleep again.

The area there was the Sharston Industrial Area.

That's odd.

That's random.

More wankers?

More UK people?

Jenner?

Sure, I'm up for that.

Let's wake some people up.

So, real quick, just to recap, we are about two hours into 24 hours of live prank call shows.

It's Prankskiving 2015.

If you're just tuning in right now, I'm Carlito, starting off, kicking things off.

I'll be out for about another two hours, then Gilmore will be taking over at 2 a.m. Eastern.

Jaiad is out on the street taking video of people that we've been prank calling.

That's been a lot of fun.

Man in the street.

It really has been.

We've had some fun with Denny's and things of this nature.

That was my old original position, dude.

That's fantastic, man.

I'm so glad.

Thank you, Chad.

What was your position?

Original?

What was it?

Denny's?

I originally was the man in the streets

back when I did the college radio show.

Oh, yeah?

Told you I did all the RF radios

and hooked them up to the studio and shit

and went there and I did all the concerts

and all the parties at college.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got you, I got you.

Yes, sir.

All right.

We got last people named James here.

I don't have a first name, Jim,

but you're welcome to jump in if you want.

Yeah, yeah.

All I got is a James.

This is in Atherstone.

I'll get you full address in the Skype, okay?

Mm-hmm, yeah.

That'll be the top one on this list.

sure mr james huh all right we can't take your call right now if you'd like to leave your name

as soon as possible thank you bye-bye no panics and we got another one we got ar james

okay ar james yeah address is there if you need it you got it yeah that's almost jamed out

just calling some wankers now i do have more numbers from parkman oh yeah it's wicked right

yeah yeah yeah yeah we're calling no no fucking jamesy no no i can't i have to feel like a

method actor do you know what i mean new news unable to get out of his wheelchair he answered

the phone what the f**k yeah hello your call cannot be taken at the moment f**king next one

this is another james d james d james he's got the d he wants the d do you know what i mean

i'll give him the d your call cannot be taken at the moment please leave your message after the

tone hello hello hello mrs james yeah how you doing yes yeah yeah morning morning how's it

it going i'm sorry what what's this call about it's mr stewart mr stewart i'm just uh i wanted

to give uh is your husband around i'm sorry what where are you calling from this is five o'clock

in the morning i don't give a flying toss what time it is darling i'm just there to wake you up

for what reason just so i wanted to say good morning to you let's have a little sing song

do you know how to get songs i'm sorry i don't know what this call is about goodbye well hang

Hang on, I just wanted to sing.

I'll call her.

Would you happen to have the time, love?

Fucking fuck.

You should call her back.

The problem is, that whole thing was recorded on her end.

Yeah.

That was difficult.

We've got to be careful with that, because that can be passed on.

We don't want trouble.

Wow.

Breaking news, we've got Jaiad calling.

Jaiad, what's your status?

Oh, I hung up on nothing.

Jaiad.

Hello?

Hey, bud.

I got you, I got you.

i'm gonna call doc i i hung up on milkman on accident just calling him back here

okay okay all right you're not you're not not yet you said uh give me let me just try to get

milkman on here real quick you're calling uh you're a best buy is it yeah i need a second

to find a number whoever whoever's whoever's trying to participate with us yeah please record

it if you're going to yeah please don't be a troll machine yeah don't don't troll the troll

prove you're good and all.

Hey, Mookman, I got you back.

I had the wrong hang-up machine.

Sky piss, sky piss, sky piss.

Okay, all right.

Well, what do you guys think that he wants?

We're just kind of just talking.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, I got you.

He's acting like we're doing something else here.

Say yes or no.

Yes or no.

Is that the best buy closest to the mall?

Yeah.

Okay, I got it.

It's the only one I think that's allowed, really.

I think.

So where would you go?

Where would you shop at then?

I don't know.

Computer machines?

No, I'm not going to use it.

Yeah, you tell me because there's different departments,

but you're probably going to go to customer service first, right?

Yeah, yeah.

You want to do customer service?

They're probably the easiest either that or give me a second, okay?

Can you give me a street beat on maybe a very hot item that they have on display in the middle of the aisles like that?

Maybe something that's run out that I can complain about?

You see an empty pallet there or something?

Dude, I don't know.

I just don't know.

Find out what their stock is on Horsey Cat.

There you go.

We can always do Horsey Cat.

Okay.

All right, yeah, I would go.

You guys want me to go for it?

Yeah, all right, let's do Horsey Cat.

Let's see if we can tell them it's a game.

you maybe can get your boy at the game section

and someone at the front desk, maybe?

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah, that's what I would do.

All right.

You going?

Yeah, are you ready?

You ready?

You tell me when.

Just about.

I'm shooting for video games, so I guess a Wii game.

A horse and cat would be a Wii game, if you ask me.

A Wii U game.

All right.

Oh, without a Wii game with a lot of colorful video.

Yeah, the big dick.

Yeah, I think you guys are right.

All right.

All right, you ready?

Are you ready?

Yeah, I'm ready.

Here we go.

All right.

Here we go.

That's a real cute sound.

We will be open at 5 p.m. on Thursday, November 26th, and invite you to visit our store.

We will be available to answer our phones after 8 a.m. on Friday, November 27th.

Oh, they're doing that shit, Diane.

We apologize for the inconvenience.

This happened last year.

Be sure to check out our cyber-

They're not answering the phone.

They're not answering the phone, motherfuckers.

I remember this from last year.

Not all of them did this last year, but on Black Friday night, Thursday night, they were doing this.

Did you copy?

Yeah, they're not answering the phone.

Their message said they won't answer the phone tonight because of hiding.

I got you.

It's Walmart.

It's like Walmart.

Yeah.

It's like Walmart.

Walmart answered.

They were just busy.

Yeah, I got you.

I'm looking in the area.

Do you think there's a shoe carnival maybe not open?

Lane Bryant.

Yeah, we did that one.

We did that one.

I'm not going into Lane Bryant.

you gotta remember we gotta look like we're doing something you know what i mean two random guys

with drink cups hey guys i'll call you back okay all right cool no problem we're here

i got evil artists calling see you man evil artists here evil artist

evil already evil already a few hours later evil art is going to be joining us

oh excuse me wow hey hermano this big dabs for you this is gdp lemon hayes yeah motherfucker

heck yeah horses hey evil arty what's up man how you doing buddy what's up man i'm out in my car

my mom's house oh yeah sit there you can do dabs in the car

dude i wish happy thanksgiving happy thanksgiving man

Artie's been dabbing too

Artie's on that dab game

Just like Milkman's on

Oh Artie you do dab

I got a quartz

Big banger

You don't dab Artie

I thought you do

I thought you said you do

I haven't like

Two or three months

Oh whatever

Okay fine

That's true

Alright well you stay away

From that artificial shit anyway

Yeah don't

Yeah

Someone brought that up

Right now

Someone said

I know someone who

Blah blah blah

Walmart K2

This is that

Yeah, because we were calling Walmart.

That is a guy named Smarty.

Was it Smarty?

He wasn't already with Smarty.

That's his name, Smarty.

It's already with the glasses on.

Smarty.

I get it.

Jesus Christ.

So, dude, I just gained all my weight back on Thanksgiving dinner.

Oh, fuck, dude.

I ate more than I did in a few months.

That's the same for me.

I probably gained like 10 pounds.

But I skipped my pizza day this month for it, you know?

so i think i'm all right i get myself i haven't had i have not had a burger or a pizza in over

three months wow you're fine dude it's just one day all right congratulations already buddy that's

a good move it's thanksgiving you're fine don't worry about it how many dicks have you had that's

like seven yeah i was about to say we got dwight big cool dwight ken mcclanahan well hermano he's

been working out he lost like 75 pounds already yeah yeah dwight hey roger did you get a hold of

of Aaron. I gave you his cell phone

number. He wants you to call him. Yeah, I have the

number. I figure I'll be waiting until

tomorrow to call him. No, I mean, he's up.

It's a five-hour difference. It's like 7pm

over there. I might have to give him a call

real quick and see

about a time that he wants to slide over there.

Yeah, it's...

There are hours... If he does open tomorrow,

because tomorrow's a notoriously

bad day for restaurants,

but it would be

4pm, which is the time you start.

That's when he opens for lunch.

11 a.m. over there just saying I might put this on hold and go give him a call

real quick oh yeah well I'm gonna take a break actually was gonna say I got to

take that break cuz I'm two hours in cuz put things up nicely here nice and even

taper down the middle so if you guys don't man I'll go ahead and do a break

I'll be right back I know you guys just joined we'll get to it we'll get to

things when we come back we have more prank calls to get to Jada will be back

with us it's gonna be going to a store I believe such Jen you're gonna hang out

out with us you gotta go i'm with you buddy i'm sticking around all right this won't this won't

be this won't be a long break at all this is not supposed to be i'm just gonna go make a mashed

potato sandwich red milk red potatoes while you're out there too mashed potato sandwich red red red

potato oh red yeah i gotta get the diet i gotta die on yeah all right so yeah we got more numbers

the masterpiece yeah more numbers more pranks we're just over two hours into 24 so we got we

We've got 22 more hours of practice, and we'll probably go over anyway.

We always do.

All right, guys, don't go anywhere.

Give me a moment.

I'll be right back.

Thanks.

You're listening to Madhouse Live on the largest prank call station in the nation.

prank call nation

madhouse radio is back

you are bigger than a woman

you're better than a woman

we'll always be behind you

do not let a woman

ever

make you who you are

Emma

Jen

All right, we're back.

We're back, goddammit.

I'm Carlito.

I'm here.

Jai, I had breaking news.

Just calling back in.

Hey.

What do you got for us, man?

All that's what's going on.

You're on break.

Yeah, we got you.

You see where I'm at, man.

Yeah, yeah, you're at Toys R Us, isn't it?

Yeah, I think this will work.

You did what?

You think it'll work?

I think this might work.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right, all right, all right.

I'm just looking around for the Toys R Us on the map.

Is it real nearby there?

Okay.

Found it.

Got it.

Cool.

So are you at the front?

Where are we at?

Yeah, you're on the phone.

Who?

Yeah, that's, yeah, you do, it's right there, right at the, yeah, you doing it?

Yeah, front desk?

Yep.

Well, whatever, that's where I'm at, yeah.

All right, cool.

Thank you for calling Toys R Us.

We'll be closing at 11 p.m.

For exciting employment opportunities at Toys R Us,

visit our website at www.ruscareers.com.

For store locations, press 1.

To speak with a guest service associate, please press 2.

Or stay on the line.

We'll be with you shortly.

Okay, okay.

Please hold while your call is transferred.

This is Jennifer. How can I help you?

Yeah, I need to find out if you have a game, though.

Okay.

A horsey cat?

I do not believe so.

We haven't looked.

No, no, we're out.

What do you mean, no? Wait a minute.

What kind of game is it, then?

Is it the board game?

No.

See, you were wrong. It's a video game.

Go ahead and check. I'll be right here.

What, for what system?

Wii U.

Wii U?

Yeah.

Okay, just a moment.

Liar.

We're out. Bitch can't even do her own job.

I don't see where it's at.

Video games.

I don't know what the video games are for.

Go to V for video.

I don't know.

Or maybe it's G for games.

What the hell am I talking about?

Jin's here.

Dwight's here.

We lost...

Hello, hello.

Jin's here.

He's there.

Milkman is here, of course.

Sexy time.

Milkman, who were you talking about?

You were talking over giant.

Who were you talking about to get on?

Who?

A woman?

Oh, I was saying that if you get one of the girls on there,

or you always say, like, Big Marge and all that stuff.

I've seen, like, if you got one.

Even if you're not, every woman thinks she is, so you have to...

It works. It always works. You're right.

I wonder if GameStop is open across the street, Giad.

Like, the female in...

She probably just put me on hold.

Sorry, I was talking over to you. I didn't mean to talk over you.

I'm on a delay. Sorry.

It's okay.

You want me to read out?

I have no... No, I have no clue where they're answering or anything.

Really?

Gentlemen, I need to make a short pause to go to the men's room.

I shall return shortly.

All right, see you then.

Let me find Justin's.

I'll call you back, okay?

Okay, over here.

All right, bye.

People were suggesting the Butterball turkey hotline.

Are they open at this time?

I have no idea.

Let me get the number.

I think it's 1-800-Butterball.

Butterball.

Butterballs.

Butterball.

I kind of think they let them go early on Thanksgiving.

They're all year.

year um not all year but they're there like for the whole holiday time so we can find their number

yeah everybody make sure to go to uh prankallnation.com forward slash uh pranksgiving yes

please we're accepting donations to help out a needy family to save christmas once again this

year they closed at 11 p.m oh thanksgiving day they close at seven darn it they open again

get it tomorrow. See, yeah, we've done the call

to them the day after, it seems.

Yeah, they open tomorrow, 9am

to 7pm Eastern Standard Time.

Oh, it just cracked me up. Especially, even

when you called hotels, told them you were

cooking your turkey in the hotel room and shit.

Yeah, the frying

the turkey inside, the gasoline ones,

real funny. Yeah, that's something

we've got to do tomorrow during the day.

Call Dirty Aaron.

We're going to try to collaborate for

having him

on the ground during

During the show, he said it may not work, so we might have to do it off air the next day or something.

But still, we're going to get it done.

Yeah, that's fine.

That works.

How about taxis?

I got taxes.

Mrs. Morgan passed on taxis who are looking for work in Berlin and such.

Taxis, yeah.

Taxi, taxi.

I love taxis.

They don't have their names, but they have their numbers and a little description of themselves.

What the hell?

Where have you been, dude?

I've been, like, talking to myself and no man's land.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't know you were on hold.

Did you have a good conversation with yourself?

That's the importance.

Oh, there he went.

That's fine.

Are you there, Milkman?

There's one call.

There's a hung call here.

Milkman, can you hear?

Someone disconnected.

I heard the beep-boop.

Yeah, that was the number I was trying to call that I missed out.

Oh, shit.

Milkman, he's on hold.

He's stuck on hold.

He's talking to himself.

Are you there, Milkman?

Okay, now I hear you.

Milkman, let me redial you, because there's a hung call on the program, and it makes things get a little funky.

I'm going to call you right back in three seconds.

One, two, three.

I was exaggerating.

I've got to quit.

Breaking news, here's Jaiad calling in.

Jaiad reporting in from the machine.

What's up?

Hey, dude.

All right, so we're either being tailed by a listener, or you guys called up and told them how awesome their store was,

and asked them if they knew where there was any underwear stores nearby.

No, that wasn't me.

You're being...

Yeah, we're going to disappear from this area,

so go ahead and do some other calls,

and then we'll give you a call back as early.

Okay.

Goddamn, it's hurting the hell.

That's fine.

I'm going to shake the table.

See you.

That made my day when I was walking out.

Somebody asked, told us,

they just wanted to call and tell us how great our store is,

and then asked us if we knew where any underwear store were around here.

What the fuck?

That would be one of our listeners, yeah.

Thanks.

Enjoy.

I'll call back.

All right.

See you.

Bye.

Bye here.

Yeah, bye.

That was a quick, funny update from Gia about the...

Oh, oh, oh.

I know this song.

Hello.

It's Linkin Park.

Milkman.

All right.

We got you.

I hear you.

Yeah, this is Linkin Park and Jay-Z.

In the end.

It doesn't even matter.

Thank you.

Yeah, we got you back.

This whole shithole is stable.

Here's our taxi call.

May I take it?

You're doing this.

Yes, you may. This is in Brooklyn.

Who's doing this? Dwight?

He needs a driver or he's looking for one?

He is a driver.

Hello?

How you doing there? You looking for some work driving a cab?

Looking for a driver.

Yeah, yeah, I'm a driver.

You have a TLC?

Yeah, had one for about 10 years now.

Yeah, I want to rent one of them things there.

Which one? Green or Uber?

The Uber one's alright. I would do that.

Actually, no, no, no.

That's the Toyota, isn't it?

No, I'm looking for the green one, the hybrid.

Okay.

When do you want to start?

Let's see.

What about Monday?

Does Monday sound good for you?

What's your schedule looking like?

Eight to six?

Start on Monday?

Tomorrow you can come.

Okay, I come tomorrow.

What time tomorrow?

Okay, I come down tomorrow.

Is your sister going to be there?

Your sister.

Well, she's supposed to be there tomorrow

so I can fuck her in the back of the cab

before I go to work.

He sounded perfect.

Can I try it?

I'm just going to change that caller ID real quick.

Make it something local,

throw him off a little bit, get him off our set.

If you want details,

they're there.

I'm going to keep his number because he sounds really good.

Sorry, just suggesting.

It sounds like somebody I would call a lot.

Yeah, it really does.

guessing indian just my guess yeah i think he's probably like hindi or something i'm gonna find

out hindi punjabi something english they're all the same to me they all look the same and smell

the same hello yes hello hello yeah hi uh i'm looking for somebody who's put the ad out

you put out the ad you know for the drivers yeah what who am i speaking with barbie barbie where

Where are you from, man?

Pakistan.

Oh, you're from Pakistan.

Speaking Hindi, Punjabi?

Yes.

Oh, Gandu Sutmaranir.

You know, um...

You know...

Oh, I just heard you say Gandu, and that was...

Oh, my God.

You should call him back with the same number.

That's fucking hilarious.

If we keep calling him, he's going to flip out.

He's brilliant.

Ah!

i'll call the next one and flip back to him he's so fucking funny i guess he sounds brilliant i'd

love to hear him flip i are you motherfucker i fuck out every family fuck every you're everything

i fuck everything your mother your sister yeah uh here's the next one though this is a day shift

uh look in here what's gonna look in a he's looking to drive yellow day shifts six i am

i'm looking to drive yellow day okay this is a driver i guess looking for work um license is

clean four years old i live in queens he's four years old uh all right you can take it jim uh

hang on you want me to take it yeah it's another bunch of so he yeah well hang on this is he wants

a job yeah well that's what he's saying all right oh i got a good one all right i just posted

the details on the next one this is looking for somebody i'm looking for yellow three four five

nine three four five oh yeah yeah okay okay you can work with that good there it goes

just no names that makes it yeah that's the only shit that's all right i can say patel

it's a good opener huh i was going to voicemail we'll try the first guy back again

I mean slightly just to call already

Once again

Hello

Yes hello Mr. Gando how are you

He'll get there

If you call him he'll get there

He'll be like why the fuck are you calling me back

You picked up once again already

It kind of does that like where you're lying

When you do your shows

Yeah I tend to just harass people

I keep calling them because it really pisses them off

yeah the restaurants are like you're not gonna order shit now like

i love actually giving them the number and then they call me back and then i fuck with them

further because they think then that they've got my number permanently so they keep trying

to call me back so i keep pranking them just it's brilliant please leave your message for

uh here's a guy named sing if i get to sing yeah can you want it this is a sing s-i-n-g-h

Sure.

Sounds like an Indian guy.

He has a brand new 2014 Camry Hybrid working day shift.

The car is brand new, very low miles.

Stick it in my ass.

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

Dirty son of a bitch.

All right, all right.

We got someone who needs a hybrid cab, seven days night shift, not paying more than $675 weekly.

You don't tell me what you're going to pay, motherfucker.

Yeah.

let me know 26 year old

clean record 7 year old hack

7 year old hack

I need a hack license I think they're going to have them

drive the fucking cabs

out there in New York

they call it a hack

you're from the industry do you know anything about a hack

hack license does that happen out there

in Frisco

sounds like hackney cabs

I don't know what does happen out in Frisco

I hear they hate calling it Frisco

They say the way to know if you're not from San Francisco

Is if you call it Frisco

No wait Ken this is you

Did I post this

I'm putting it on Skype

Hello

How you doing

Are you looking for a hybrid to drive around

Yeah I am right now

But I actually

As of right now I just found a car

I'll get back to you if things don't work out with him

Then why the fuck can I add up you son of a bitch

Why are you giving me attitude

Because you left a fucking ad up there.

You already found some shit.

You're wasting my fucking time.

So don't fucking curse me.

I'll beat the shit out of you.

I'm not one of these Indian motherfuckers you can push around.

I ain't no fucking Indian motherfucker, so you better come see me where you at right now.

Where do you want to meet at, motherfucker?

I'll tug on your dick and we'll make this happen.

You little fucking piece of shit.

Come through any time, any place.

Beat the shit out of you.

What's your address?

Redneck.

I'm fucking Italian, motherfucker.

I'm a made man.

Yeah, you think I give a fuck?

You think I give a fuck?

What's a medallion number?

I'll see you anytime, anyplace.

Where do you want to meet?

Where do you want to meet, huh?

Give me your medallion number, you little bitch.

Yeah, you come on over here and I'll brand my medallion right on your ass.

I said give me your medallion number.

I will come and beat the shit out of you personally.

Yeah, you want to meet over at the fucking Walmart?

You can suck dick for a living for all I care, all right?

Yeah, I'll suck your dick.

I'll suck your dick and make it pleasurable and shit and turn you gay.

I've been actually dying to get my dick sucked by an Italian dude.

So where do you want to meet?

Yeah, I'll suck your dick from the back, turn you into a homo.

Tell me where you want to meet, you little piece of shit.

I already said the fucking Walmart, but you got some cum in the ears, and you're sitting there going,

I will handle you.

You want my medallion number before you're going to steal it?

You're a little bitch, nigga, all right?

You're a little bitch, nigga.

Here, listen, I'll give you my medallion number.

Don't use that word.

That's my medallion number.

Write it down.

That's my medallion number.

Personally, please, anytime.

All right, I'm going to look this up, and then I'm going to come over, and I'm going to fuck your wife right in front of you.

Anytime, bro.

Bro, I want to see who you are.

You think you fucking...

What do you think you are?

Just because you're white, you can talk shit?

I'll beat the shit out of you anytime.

There's a reason...

I'm Italian.

I'm not white, motherfucker.

My name is Dwight McClanahan.

Listen, listen.

Suck dick.

All right?

And if you still haven't realized that, I don't got no accent.

I don't know what to tell you.

I'll tie your dick in a bow.

That's what I got to tell you.

You must be fucking stupid.

Your boyfriend must be proud of you.

He want to talk mad shit for no reason.

These kind of fucking dumb fucks, I beat the shit out of them.

Hey, tell that bitch in the background to shut the fuck up.

Holy shit.

That was good.

I'll call him right back.

Dude, that guy sounds a bit like Mark Wahlberg.

He kind of did.

Yeah, he sounds just like him.

There was, like, times when he was talking.

I'm going to try to hook this dude up.

I got...

What?

Huh?

What happened?

Yeah, where's your fucking girl at there?

She's yelling in the background.

Why don't you...

I told you my medallion number.

That ain't no lie.

Anytime, anyplace, I drive it at night, you can let me know.

That posting's not for me.

It's actually for a friend, and my number's on it for a reason.

So, if you want to talk, you can be in the lot.

I'm always at ****.

That's where I work.

So, ****, anytime, anyplace, you come up to me.

And I figured you'd be at ****.

That's where all the fucking little homos hang out at and suck each other's dick.

You tell me your medallion number, and I will personally, I swear to my mom,

I will come up to you, and I will speak to you about it,

and I will bust your head and your fucking car, and I'll walk away.

You don't touch my car, you son of a bitch.

I'll fucking piss on your car, too.

You know what?

I'll piss on your mom, your dad, and your whole entire family.

I got a fucking Prius, motherfucker, and it's special.

It's better than an Audi.

You know what?

I'll fuck your wife.

I'll turn her over, and I'll fuck your dog's dog back, back, back, back, back.

And then I'm going to fuck your mom, too, in front of you so you can fucking watch me,

fucker.

You got balls, nigga.

Come through any time, any place.

I'm tired of hearing your shit, you little Italian piece of shit.

Yeah.

Damn.

That was fucking awesome.

I was just going to let him fucking go.

I didn't even see shit.

Very bad, bad, bad, bad.

You're bending your way over.

There's actually a current medallion for New York City.

I'm going to look him up.

You can just make up a fucking number and give it to him.

Give him his medallion number plus one number.

Well, you know, that's a joke, mate.

Give him Milkman's medallion number.

Milkman has a hat.

He's in San Francisco.

No, he's not in San Francisco.

Give him Zola's medallion number.

The medallion numbers here are like four-digit numbers, usually.

Yeah, same as what we just got.

car has been wrecked before like you could say it'd be like a three-digit number i would try

like like like a four-digit number a three-digit number maybe like not a eight thousand or nine

thousand like anything like a thousand something like 1976 or some shit like it's gonna be

something similar to that and it'll only be one number so once you figure out what pattern i

would say go with the four-digit number like something like a thousand something that's

funny though he's like he just said so much great shit right there i'm calling him back

yo what do you want unless you want to come see me right now and you want to talk to me face to

face like come on man i don't got time for your bullshit so where you at listen listen do you want

me to shave my nuts or do you want me to leave them nice and hairy for you look why don't you

come and see me right now i'm on 53rd street i'm standing right here i ain't bullshitting you

that's where the drug addicts hang out what the fuck you doing over there you know what i'll even

send you my location on whatsapp because you got such big balls you little white redneck

Why don't you come see me, and then I can beat the shit out of you, fuck your mom, fuck your sister, and fuck your wife in front of you, beat the shit out of you, and piss on your car.

God, you're fucking turning me on.

53rd Street, 53rd Street, and I will WhatsApp you my location, because you probably won't believe me.

Unlike you, you don't even have the balls to tell me your medallion number, because you know that I will fuck your ass up, because I ain't like these other Indian niggas that you know.

I grew up in fucking Brooklyn

I'll beat the shit out of you

I'll beat the shit out of your entire family

And on top of that

I'll shoot you in your fucking head

You little bitch

You're gonna fucking punch my

Four year old daughter

And I'm a fucking wife

And I'm a fucking sister

Alright

I'm a fuck everybody that you know

You know what

My sister has AIDS

On that board right now

Alright

She fucked Charlie Sheen

Because you probably want it

You probably want it

You want the Indian dick

You know you want my dick

Don't even lie

You want me right

You want me

I do

You do you want me right

I do

I know you gotta Snapchat this nigga

I got his number.

Hey, tell that bitch in the background to shut the fuck up.

I have your number.

You forgot that.

Let me talk to the bitch.

I'm going to make every single person in the world call you and curse you out.

I'm going to make every single person in the world that I know call you and curse you out.

What's your Snapchat?

I'm going to text bomb you.

I'm going to text bomb you a thousand text messages because you're so boring, bro.

All right, what's your Snapchat?

Because the only comeback you got is the one off your mom's list.

Fucking Yankees suck dick.

You got something to say?

Because you don't got nothing to say.

You're a little white redneck who claims to be Italian talking shit.

Where do you live?

fucking 21st street that's what's your snapchat motherfucker live anyway what up talk

shit i didn't

say medallion i said snapchat you know what you're probably gonna do you know what you're probably

gonna do you're probably gonna tell me one of your homies and the poor guy's gonna uh you want

to talk to my boyfriend he'll suck your dick here talk to him real quick sorry come fuck your ass

up hello you tell me you're a medallion you know you don't even got any hello shut the fuck up for

a second you said you want me to suck your cock or something stop being a little dick and tell

Tell me your medallion number.

Yeah, I'll tell you.

I'll tell you.

You ready?

You got a pen?

All right.

I got a paper pen.

Go ahead.

All right.

You got a pen.

Write this down.

My medallion number is ****** 1.

Oh, man.

This pussy ass nigga son.

Now he got his boy getting up.

Why do you keep fucking saying nigga for you, you fucking idiot?

You cunt.

Eh?

Shut the fuck up, you little ****.

You shut the fuck up, you fucking donkey cunt.

You bored.

You got nothing to do.

What's your WhatsApp?

You got nothing to do.

I'm bored as ****, too, so I'm ready.

He's waiting for me, man.

You ready?

Yeah, yeah, you're spread eagle, aren't you?

You little dicks.

You're trying to pass the fucking phone around.

Actually, I've got quite a big cock to be honest with you, mate.

Why don't you come see me, and I'll tell you what type of Indian nigga I am

when I fucking punch both your faces, fuck your wife, fuck your boy's wife,

fuck both your moms, fuck both your sisters,

and I fucking piss on your medallion.

How about that?

Well, how about I piss on your medallion and just, you know, punch you in the tooth?

I told you, you got no comeback.

Shut the fuck up and go sleep in your bed.

You shut the fuck up, you fucking wanker.

I swear to God, I ain't going to shut the fuck up.

I own this shit. You little piece of shit. You want one medallion? I own three.

So you better shut the fuck up. I smack your ass, all right?

Who the fuck do you think you are? I'll fuck you in the ass.

You sound like a scary man. I'm actually shit myself.

My legs are shaking. You should see it. It's fucking madness.

You want K-Y? I got K-Y jelly. Come on, man. I got mad K-Y jelly.

All right, stick it up your ass and I'll come and put my fist up there.

You think you run this shit, nigga? No, the Indians run this shit.

95% of the medallions, we own them. Not you, niggas.

What the fuck are you talking about, you fucking twat?

Nobody knows what you're talking about

You want fucking shit in your pizzerias

Alright

When I'm bored and shit

I gotta take a shit

I go to your pizzeria

And there's shit in it

Alright

That's exactly what you were to me

You were shit

You ain't got no comeback

Shut the fuck up

Hang up the phone

Don't act like you're the shit

If you're the shit

Give me your name number

Give me your medallion number

You ain't shit

You little piece of shit

I'll give it to you

You got a pen

He is wound up

He is angry

I love it

Fucking brilliant

Jesus Christ man

What the fuck was he talking about

Fucking pizzerias and shit

Sitting in the pizzeria

This motherfucker is some idiot man

Man, he's like trying to play tough.

What the hell is he talking about?

He's like, I'm not the kind of Indian nigga you used to be.

I love it.

He's like, I've got the KY.

It was a KY.

Hang on.

Let me try asking for his WhatsApp.

All right.

Hey, what's your WhatsApp?

Hello.

What's your WhatsApp, please?

Bro, it's the same number for WhatsApp, you dumb fuck.

Hey, shut the fuck up.

It's the same fucking number, you dumb fuck.

You dumb Indian banchot.

Banchot.

Indian.

You want some Indian dick today?

Yeah.

Jen curse Adam in Hindi or whatever

Where are you from you bloody shit

I'm not going to hang up.

Shut up.

I've been shitting on you the whole time.

Hey, he's driving a 2011 Ford right now.

Who is?

If you're not going to come to me, just hang up.

With this...

I got a phone number over here.

Yeah.

What happened?

Yeah, fucking Kane Incorporated.

I'm telling you where I am.

You want me to send you my location right now?

Yeah.

You want me to send it to you right now?

Send it to me.

Give it to me.

I'm going to hang up and I'm going to send it to you right now.

All right?

Okay.

Yeah?

When are you sending it?

If I don't see you in 10 minutes, you're a pussy.

No, if I don't see you in 10 minutes, you're a gay.

Anybody want the VIN number of the car he's driving?

We all know you're a pussy.

We all know you're Indian.

So why do you say with the accent but you don't speak it?

Huh?

Where are you from, you idiot?

What, my friend?

Where are you from, you cunt?

You want to hear the Indian accent, my friend?

Yeah, where are you from in India? Where?

You want Indian dick with the Indian accent?

Yeah, I want to hear the Indian voice.

Like Punjabi, Hindi, Gujarati.

Do you want to get fucked in the ass?

You know, I want to fuck your mother in the ass.

You want to fuck my mother?

Yeah.

Why don't you bring your mother, and we'll see who's going to fuck your mother.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do it.

I'll bring my mother, and then I will put her, then she will fuck your mother with a fist,

and then after she leaves, I will fuck your mother as well.

Yeah, because you don't have a dick to fuck my mother, that's why you're going to have your mother fuck my mother,

but I'm going to stand here and fuck your mother with my own dick.

What about if I get my mother to fuck your mother, and then her mother just fucks her mother,

and then the other mother comes and fucks you and punches you in the mouth.

I'm going to sit here and fuck your mother with my own dick.

I don't need my mom, bro, for this.

You do.

You need mommy because otherwise you can't do it.

You are incapable of doing anything without your mother.

Yeah, right?

That's why.

Because none of you Italian motherfuckers have a dick to fucking satisfy your woman.

But I'm not Italian, you stupid cunt.

Indian niggas got it, bro.

I'm a Norman.

I come from the north.

I'm a blonde, Aryan, pure race.

Everyone else must leave.

I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. I'm from the north. Why did you say I was italian you idiot? What happened shut those people up in the background?

I they don't need to shut down

What the hell are you saying man? Can you speak proper english, please right now? I will see you in 10 minutes

No, no fuck 10 minutes. I want you to speak proper english

You can't see because you refuse to give up your medallion number. I just gave you my fuck. I give it to you

What do you got you ready? What is it? My name? Okay, it's one. Yeah, you're a pussy. There's no

that's mine you bloody idiot gandu i own that corporation

you want the real one it's uh you don't have balls it's three you pussy my fucking time

and go to sleep and i know you know your dick doesn't get hard to fuck your wife hey you

motherfucker it's fine it's three so she can sleep nicely all right have a good night and if you still

need me to come fuck your wife i'm gonna send any time i'm gonna send you my location right now

Alright? Yeah, yeah, send it. I'll come and fuck your

mother, you idiot. Alright.

Three is my VIN. You know my number?

Has he killed it? Hang on, I'm here.

Alright, Jad, the prank's done. I'm gonna call

you back, alright? I got the info.

I got the deets. Alright, cool. I'm sorry.

I was half hearing you guys, but

I was talking to Jad on the cell phone.

I pulled up the current medallions. I had

all of his fucking information, the VIN numbers

and everything. I heard that.

I heard that. The VIN number and everything.

So I guess he does have a medallion. At least we got one guy pissed off.

Yeah. He never got into the Hindi

though i don't think he i don't think he was i don't know where he's from you know some people

are like gujarati yeah i think he's second generation and probably doesn't speak the

language really the weird thing is in india when you listen to them a lot of the time they speak

in english and then they just mix in like hindi words so they're gonna be talking with an accent

every now and then they'll say something like oh they put in a word and then that you don't

understand you know i'm from india and all that that's why well they do that yeah and like on

their tv and stuff yeah they do that you know where else does it the philippines seems to do

that like if you see filipino tv they mix english yeah they'll mix english with uh spanish with

whatever they tag along yeah yeah man all right let's call jayad real quick here milkman are you

there sloth also says that there's a man trying to contact you on skype uh okay named john john

on skype jayad yeah gotcha okay so we're gonna call kmart is it yeah uh crap and i forgot that

we're not we're not lined up yet yeah i know i got to find the number still i'm

more triple tasking here oh so you said this is gonna they used to have a glory hole there

what the fuck really they used to have a glory hole they don't anymore used to in the 90s it

was actually it was a hard part i watched this awesome porn there was like uh there's some kind

of underground dungeon in the czech republic in prague and there's like a mass orgy and there's

There's, like, girls who just go there, and there's guys that queue up to go in and fuck with all these girls.

It was brilliant.

I was like, oh, fuck it, yeah.

I got to go, man.

We also have the Facebook of that crazy cab driver we just called.

This place isn't incredibly busy, so we can't take a ton of time.

Okay, are you ready?

Kmart's not even, that's sad.

We can do about 30 seconds, I think.

All right, I'm ready to go when you are.

All right, all right.

We're away here.

You tell me when.

Give me the high sign.

That's funny.

and Kmart, one of the busiest

shopping moments of the year.

This has to be Kmart's last.

Every year they keep saying, is this the last one?

The big deal in a previous year

is it going to be Kmart, Sears, or

I'm sorry, Kmart, JCPenney,

or RadioShack.

And RadioShack finally hit the dust

last year. Aeropostale is the other

one they keep saying is going to die one year.

Ready yet? Ready yet? Ready yet?

I don't know if he said it was ready or not. Did you hear it ready?

I didn't hear it. I didn't hear it.

He said 30 seconds. I would assume he set up.

So it's just in 30 seconds then.

Okay.

All right.

We're going to go.

We're going to do it.

I'm going to presume that's what...

Go.

Yo, good?

Go, go, go, go.

Jen, you want it or...

Thank you for calling Kmart.

This is Sarah.

How may I direct your call?

Yeah.

Hi, Sarah.

I was wondering, the restroom, how's the action right there right now?

The restroom?

Yeah.

How's the action?

The action?

In the restroom, yeah.

Are you saying somebody needs to check out our restroom?

Yeah, probably.

Yeah.

Could you check out the restroom for me?

May I ask who's calling?

My name's Eddie.

Eddie, are you with the company?

in any way? Yeah, I'm with the corporate

office, yeah. Can you give me a last name

and contact phone number? Cross.

Alright, let me get a manager for you. Alright.

Okay. She's not in this, like, corporate

thing for real. Well,

yeah, they hung up. Picked up and hung up.

Shit. Hang on, Jad, I'm calling back.

I think she might have

missed, transferred it. Here's the

corporate number if you need it. Thank you for calling K-Mar.

How may I direct your call? Yeah, I was just talking to you. I need to

know about the bathroom. I need to know

more information about why you're asking. Well, because

Because I'm a regular there.

I'm a regular in the bathroom there.

I'm with the regular crowd that goes into the...

I see.

I'm afraid that you're prank calling us, and if you call again, I'll have to...

Hey, relax.

Relax.

Listen.

That's brilliant.

I'm afraid, yeah, because I got so much going on there at Kmart.

Jesus.

Yeah, right.

Should I try?

Yeah.

Kmart security may help you.

Yeah, hi.

How are you?

Good.

How are you?

I'm all right.

Yeah.

Just wanted to check.

You know, there was some action going on over there, and I wanted to get in on you.

did the same woman pick up a claim to be security yeah yeah yeah i heard her yelling so giant might

have gotten something let me do another let me try this again i was saying call back let me rip her

one yeah yeah you do right she's gonna be like 100 people calling her asking her the same shit

giant hung up oh he's probably on the run right now

like the best i can just put him on speaker right now camera how many direct you call hi how you

you doing i'm calling to see if you got a item in stock what is it uh it's it's a toy department

item uh it's called black lives matter it's a doll they put out now you know you lie no it's

like a barbie it comes with a sign uh they put it out the naacp put it out you got nothing else to

do tonight do you ma'am i'm trying to buy this for my kids to teach them life lessons uh yeah

Yeah, okay. Hold on. I'll get you to the tour department.

Okay.

Brilliant.

No, you're lying.

I know you're lying.

No, you're lying.

Captain Corporate says he has the extension for the Kmart Intercom.

Yeah, hello. You going to check on a doll for me? The front desk just sent that over.

The doll, it's like one of them Barbies. It's the Black Lives Matter edition.

The NAACP put it out as a promotion for the holidays.

It was in the ad. What are you guys out? Can I get a rain check?

Get a rain check on it.

Hang on.

I can't hear you.

You have to speak up.

Jad's being arrested right now.

No, he's not.

That's no surprise.

It's like every other month he's arrested.

Did they answer your call?

Yeah, he said I'd have to talk to you for a rain check.

He said they're out.

Yeah, you got to go online at www.kkk.com.

Oh, my God.

That's racist, ma'am.

Yeah, I think so, too.

You're a race traitor.

Yeah.

Let me, let me, can I talk to her?

Yeah, probably.

She's going to bring up KTK.

I can't believe you.

Oh, that, that, that, that.

That was when bosses were mom and dad.

They've had enough.

Something else disconnected because it's still ringing.

Never mind.

Gary, may I help you?

Hello, it's me again.

How's it going?

Oh, you have nothing better to do with your time.

That must be nice.

Well, excuse me, but I'm trying to get in on the action,

and you're just being extremely rude and disconnecting me.

Oh, he's gone.

She's gone.

Bitch, come fucking whore.

Someone in the IRC claims to have the paging extension for all the K-Marts.

Really?

Yes.

So we would just have to say, can you transfer the extension, blah?

Yeah.

You know, that's never worked for me in all these ten years.

Right there, I just put it in the Skype.

Okay.

All right, no problem.

I got the phone system set up.

I think I should be able to get Jayad back on if we need him.

Where's the milkman?

The milkman's here.

He should be.

He might have us all muted up or something, but he's here.

uh more cabs while we wait for jay to call for the next place i guess um there's a guy named

the cabs was hilarious man yeah well that what you can do now to really fuck with them now is

you gotta start talking about yeah like these little motherfuckers that are running between

uber and the cabs and for uber what's up the one i use uber quite a lot uber exec actually

the one guy's hiring uber drivers he's like you want to do a green cab or uber he asked uh

yeah well yeah like fuck with him over that tell him tell him you're going to do lift and

And that's the other one that's the other competitor.

So what is he doing?

Why would anyone want to go through a broker to use Uber?

The whole point of it is to do it on your own.

Because they make money off of renting you the vehicle.

Oh, so you see.

Okay.

You get a cut.

They're probably getting like 10, 20%.

So he's offering a Toyota something.

It's either a flat fee per month.

It's probably, it's either a flat fee per month, like maybe 600 bucks or something like that.

Or they're going to take a big percent, maybe like 10, 20%.

He's renting out, yeah, he did say in his ad, we rent Uber cars.

He's got a Toyota Camry, a brand new Toyota Camry, so he bought it, and they'll rent it out to you.

He's trying to make money off the rentals with you, so you take and beat the fuck out of that rental.

So it's the same thing.

It's the same fucking thing that he would do with the green cab, right?

Basically, yeah, but it's cheaper because, you know, you can do it with the Uber and shit, right?

Cabs are a lot more expensive than the other way to fuck them up.

Yeah, so I guess if you don't own a car, or, I mean, he's saying you can have a nice 2015.

You don't want to, like, you don't want to get into a cab and own a medallion,

and you don't want to fucking actually own a vehicle,

and it's going to delete whatever, just make money off of it.

Yeah, I hear you.

Let's call the guy that was really upset at Dwight.

Whatever his cut is, it's how he makes out.

Yeah, I dig.

Oh, man, why are you calling me from a fake number?

I just tried to WhatsApp you my location,

and it didn't fucking go through because you got a fake-ass number.

So come on, man.

Can we do this like real men?

Do you want to come see me?

I don't know.

I just fucking told you my real location.

I told you, on the 53rd or whatever, nothing has changed.

So if you want to stop calling me from a fake number and grow some fucking Italian balls,

then you come to me right now.

I'm not Italian.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, there's a new guy?

What's up, man?

Oh, hey, yeah.

You came to talk more shit like your homie?

So this is the same number.

We all know that.

So we don't got to play games.

Okay.

Can we just get to the part where we start cursing each other out for fun?

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Well, I want to just listen.

Hey, hey, hey.

Let me talk.

Come on now.

Be a man and let me talk.

You have to have honor in the argument, okay?

so i want to i want to i can't wait for this shut up shut up what's up what's up what's up

all right are you done i'm gonna hear you out are you done okay so we need to sit i gotta put you

on i'm gonna hear you are you done yet now can i talk asshole i want to set some go ahead go

ahead motherfucker so i'd like to set some ground rules for the fight okay yeah what are the ground

rules okay rule number one no biting yes i agree yeah tell your mommy to stop biting no belts

All right, anyways, rule number two.

No belts, no belts, no jewelry.

No belts, no jewelry, yeah.

Okay.

Wait, no brass knuckles?

No.

Asshole, that's a weapon.

All right.

No weapons.

No brass knuckles, all right.

No weapons of any kind.

No closed fists.

So much fun, though.

No closed fists.

So what are we doing, slapping each other?

We're slap boxing?

I'm just getting to it, to the rules.

No kicks.

You want to fight like a bitch?

He does.

I think he wants to fight like a bitch.

All right, rule number three.

No kicks.

Come on, what is that, man?

man. What are we doing? Are we praying or something?

No ground pounds. Come on, man.

You said no clothes, Fizz. You said no

fucking kicking. No. And now all this

other shit, and you said no weapons.

Yeah, no weapons. Come on. What kind of fight is this?

No ground pounding. Do you want to talk

to me? No, no. Be honest. Do you really

want to talk to me? Yes. Yes, I do.

Okay. So, alright. What are we going to

talk about? Is it interesting? Yes. I want

us to start off by

touching each other and smelling each other.

Okay, okay. So we're dogs now.

We're dogs now. Yeah, well, we'll start off.

We'll assess the situation

We'll look at each other

We'll smell each other

We'll have a staring contest

Wait, can you tell me one thing though

Before we start

Are you a cab driver?

I'm an Uber driver

Oh, you're an Uber driver

Yeah

Oh, no

What are they getting at us, man?

They're fucking hating

Alright, alright

I love you guys though

Don't worry about it

Yeah, you guys suck

I support the Uber thing

You guys must be upset

Because there was no business

Oh, yeah

I don't think

Yeah, that's an asshole

Okay, yeah

Here's Dwight

so now that you've

are you agreeing to the rules

cause Dwight may have some more

he's gonna fight you

I'm gonna fight his ass

fucking naked

I didn't say no slapping

did I say no slapping

yeah sure I said no close fists

no kicking no ground hitting on the ground

no pulling hair either

This is not my type of fight, though.

You know that, right?

No, well, you're a pussy.

You're a pussy.

You're looking for ways to get out.

I got to really ask you something, though.

I really got to ask you something, though.

Why don't you call me from a real number?

Because I feel like I'm speaking to a clown.

I want a number that I can call back.

Right now, the number when I try to call you back, because I was so bored just like you guys.

You want a number you can call back, you son of a bitch?

Oh, you're just acting hard, like, for no reason.

You ready?

No, you write this down.

You write my number down.

It's my cell phone.

Now I know you're a little Uber driver.

Yeah, no, you ready?

You got the pen?

You probably didn't make any money today.

I know it's Thanksgiving.

You probably don't got no money.

You asked for a number.

You want the number or what?

I got family, though.

You know what I mean?

Shut up.

Shut the fuck up.

You're an orphan?

Are you an orphan?

Are you ready for the number?

Hey, what's up, man?

You're the nice guy.

What's up, nice guy?

Are you ready for my number, you asshole?

I'm the nice guy.

Please, please, please write this down.

Please, please.

Yeah, 206.

This better be a real number.

It's a real fucking number.

You call me right back.

Please, I don't want to dial 9-1-1.

Write the number down.

It's not 9-1-1, you motherfucker.

It's 2-4.

So you're from Jersey.

Oh, my God.

Write the number down.

I am.

I am 2-4.

All right, I'm calling you right now.

You fucking call me right back.

You need a fucking GPS?

You call me.

You need a fucking GPS, you idiot?

I really, I really.

Oh, no.

It went to voicemail.

You fucking shitted me.

It ain't gonna go to no fucking voicemail.

Can you give me a real name?

He's on the bloody phone, you stupid cunt.

If he's fucking calling you, he's not going to get through you fucking idiots.

I thought we were real men.

Of course it went to voicemail.

Men had fucking balls.

I thought you Italian men had balls.

You don't get it.

I'm so free we could do this all night because I'm just having a blast.

You got to write number two, four.

Then I'll fuck your wife, then I'll fuck your mom, then I'll fuck your sister in front of you with the Jameson.

But I got a bottle with me right now.

I don't think it's possible, man.

Fifty-three, medallion number.

It's too good for my worst again.

You see how none of my facts change?

yours keep changing every time you call you got three different people calling me you really think

and you know what it's more like five still told you my number i told you where i'm at because i

know you guys don't have balls you guys have little italian balls you know it's okay though

i understand where you're coming from you're a little butthurt uber driver who don't make money

so let's come back down to the point what do you guys want to do you guys actually excuse me sir

excuse me i am actually an uber exec driver not an uber driver okay just for your information

They're telling me that they got real balls.

You're giving me fake-ass medallion numbers.

You're telling me my own medallion numbers.

I told you I own the corporation.

Go look up the corporation names.

It's under my name.

Yeah, but you're a liar.

That's my medallion.

I don't lie.

You fucking lie.

You stole it from me, you fucking liar.

My medallion is not yours, too.

You stole it.

You little shit.

You don't even probably have a medallion.

You probably got an Uber Camry.

Come on.

I did.

I rubbed my willy on it, and you smelled it afterwards.

Do you remember?

Yeah, you rubbed your willy on your Uber Camry.

Oh, my God.

That's so cute.

Do you even fuck it in the gas tank?

It's a fucking Prius.

When you get bored, do you open the gas tank and fuck the gas tank?

Yes, of course.

And then I stick your mother in it.

Here we go, here we go, here we go.

Wait, you can't satisfy your woman, so she doesn't fuck you.

So you fuck your car?

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

Because I have a nice car.

I have a 458 Italia.

You're sad.

You can't satisfy your woman.

They want to come talk to you.

If you saw my car, you would fuck it too.

I swear to you.

Most people just gawk at it, you know?

Your wife doesn't want to fuck you, right?

That's why you re-fucked me in your car, right?

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

I don't fuck Camry.

I only fuck your wife.

Want to bring it?

No, no, no.

You fuck my car, you idiot.

No, you just said you fuck your car.

Yeah, but it's a 458 Italia.

Everybody would fuck a 458 Italia.

Don't be stupid.

You guys have very fucking super fantasies.

Yeah, man.

You fuck your car.

Who fucks a car, man?

Yeah, you keep saying car, car.

It's like you're fucking parrots or something.

Car, car, like a bird, you know?

Car, car, car, car.

I have an Uber Medallion.

You stupid idiot.

I got my own Uber medallion.

I need you to get a shotgun and shoot the motherfucker down.

Come on, come on.

Don't have a medallion, dumb fuck.

I wish you had one.

Now I know you wish I knew where it's raised.

You don't even know what I'm talking about.

Hold up, hold up, hold up.

Yo, guys, you know what it is?

You guys so butthurt.

You don't own no property.

You just fucking tied this shit.

So you know what you did?

You went on the TLC site and you're calling a real number.

You're calling a real person.

I'm like, you're just calling fake guys over and over.

You guys don't have balls.

Uber guys don't have balls.

We know you don't have balls.

You idiot.

about that what's up what's up no no no you motherfucker no we all no no you motherfucker

you call me idiot no you you idiot motherfucker shit fuck you fuck you fuck your mom fuck your

daddy and fuck your sister and fuck your mommy because we're gonna fuck you you're too stupid

to drive uber you're too stupid to drive uber that's where you're stuck man why do we keep

switching people i like that nice respect uh respectful guy that that's me i'm the respectful

for gentlemen. Would you like to talk to me?

I like the guy

who set the ground rules. I really like the guy

who set the ground rules. Yeah, that guy who set the ground rules

but he died, unfortunately. I'm here.

No, okay, he's back to life.

I hate that about Italian people. Why do you kill

your own people? Talk to that guy.

No, I'm here. I'm here. I'm good.

See, that's the thing about us Indian people.

That's the thing about us Indian people. We don't

fuck with this shit. We never kill our own.

You guys are killing your own Italian motherfucker with little balls.

This guy's a fucking prick.

What is his name?

oh uber drive yellow cab he's actually running over people more more we can't do this we gotta

we gotta set another ground rule one person at a time so i see like three i hear three people

in the background if we are doing this we gotta go one at a time so you're speaking so you go ahead

yeah i'm here yeah you need to talk to me what's i set the rules you came back uber guy you came

back uber guy where you where were you man i miss you i'm with a customer because i'm banking

because i'm fucking a baller with this girl i'd love to fuck the dot off of her head i'm

I'm driving customers because I'm a baller.

What?

How many fares did you get tonight?

I'm not going to lie to you.

I did four fares.

I got $280, $70.

Well, I got seven.

I got seven.

Damn, man, you lucky.

I wish I could make money like you.

You suck.

I really wish I could.

Yeah, you got to see this big fat check I'm getting today, motherfucker.

Damn, man, you fucking motherfucker.

Yo, I wish I had the check you had, man.

You said you were going to give it to your wife and your wife was going to give it to me.

Oh, you hear what they say?

He said he was going to give it to your wife, and your wife is going to give it to my boy because he's been waiting for it, you know?

Yeah, yeah, sure, man.

That's fine, honey.

All right, look, we're going to let you go because you're really –

Can you guys really call us back from a real number?

Yeah, we'll do that.

Yeah, you're getting on my case, and I got other guys that want to do, you know, some stuff.

No, I really, really just want your real number because I really –

Yeah, we'll call you tomorrow.

Don't worry.

My friend wants to curse you out.

Don't worry.

Look, this is not a court where – this is not a court, an Indian court, where you tell us what to do, and you take the floor and all that stuff, okay?

Yeah.

So all your questions will be answered in due time.

Is it because the white man always talks?

Wait, wait, are we racist fucks over here?

The white man always talks?

Yeah, okay, all right, Mr. Dark Skin.

I really want to know why you won't let your colored man speak.

Why?

Because I come from a brown color and I can't speak?

And you're white, you own this shit?

I really want to know.

And you're fresh off the fucking boat.

Is your last name Clevenger?

I ain't no fresh off the boat.

Me and you both know my English is probably better than your...

My English is better than, actually, your whole entire family.

You stutter a lot, though.

We both know this.

You stutter a lot, though.

Yeah, and he sounds like a bird, you know.

Caw, caw, caw.

Let's leave it at that.

You done?

Yo, I hear an echo.

I'm going to hang up.

Why don't you call me back again?

Because I'm hearing an echo.

Yeah, yeah.

I swear to God, I wouldn't lie.

Yeah, it's because you're a fucking parrot.

You keep repeating what you're saying.

That's why you hear the echo.

It's in your fucking mind.

That's exactly.

Good point.

Nah, it's not in my fucking mind.

The voices are in your head.

It's in your fucking mind, you schizo fucking psycho bloody weirdo.

Voices are in your head.

Sydney?

Tap the hooker.

What's up? So you guys from Sydney? Where are you from, though? Where are you from?

No, I'm from, I'm from, uh, I'm from Crypto.

South Africa.

Nah, nah, you, you from Sydney. You from Sydney.

No, no, I'm from Crypto, I'm telling you. I'm from, I'm from the bellies in Crypto.

I know where you're from. You're Australian.

No, no, no. You have to, if you like, do you know Kryptonian? Do you speak Kryptonian?

You're the motherfucker that don't tip me. I know you guys, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You drove me, you drove me to Zambal in Kryptonian, you know, Kryptonian.

Hold up, hold up. Before we even get started, before we even get started, why don't you guys tip?

I really want to know why you guys don't tip.

I don't tip because you're a smelly cunt. That's why you smell.

If you don't smell, I'll tip. But if you smell, I can't tip, isn't it?

This isn't fair. You've got to tell me why you don't tip.

I just told you, you bloody idiot, because you stink like shit.

You don't have a bath. You don't wash yourself.

Then I don't fucking tip you, do I, idiot?

Idiot, fucking stupid.

I'll take you for real when you call me back with a real number.

Right now you're just a pussy and on the other line you're talking mad shit.

No, no, no. You lie. You're a liar. You're an idiot.

You're the Australian that don't tip.

You're the Australian that don't tip and you got two friends that don't have balls.

When you have a bath, I'll tip you and I'll give you the right number. Do you understand?

Oh, I'm waiting for it. You have my number.

No, you have to have a bath. You smelly bastard. You stink. You fucking stink.

I smell it over here, you know? I smell it through the phone.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Just please call me. You can't get on my nerves like this. You're not even barking me.

Did somebody ever tell you, listen, did someone ever tell you you sound like Mark Wahlberg?

Oh, man, that guy's a legend.

And you know what?

He's a millionaire, unlike you.

Yeah, but you sound like him.

You don't even got any money.

You don't even got any money, bro.

You got no money.

And you're trying to compare yourself to Mike.

Are you comparing me to him?

That's my homie.

I got money.

I got $200,000, I got a corporation, and I got an individual.

Sometimes you sound like him.

I want to know what you're sitting on.

You're probably sitting in an Uber car.

No, I'm sitting in a very nice chair.

You're so butthurt right now, aren't you?

Because you called the wrong guy tonight, and he just fucking cursed all three of your buddies out,

and you guys were at a bar getting drunk, or you guys had no life,

that you actually went onto a TLC site, got the right number,

you fucked with the wrong Indian, the Indian shut you guys up, and now you're butthurt.

But it's okay, because the Indian keeps picking up.

I'm recording all this, and I'm going to put it on Facebook, because this is fucking hilarious.

I don't know, I just called the incorporated one on the other line,

And spoke to a very

A very upset Indian woman

Was that his mother?

His mother or his wife

He doesn't even have a wife

You're probably right

They probably fucking don't

These guys are having a threesome together

Yeah, yeah

Once you join in

We'll make it an orgy

Oh, nah, man

I'm not part of that lifestyle

However, if you want to send your wife to my house

and girls and your sisters and your mom,

I'll take care of them.

I'll make sure they're real satisfied.

Good, good, good, good.

I like that.

That would be nice.

I'll send them to you.

You guys can do your threesome.

You guys can have your little trio shit

that you guys are doing.

But, all right,

let's get back to the real fact,

what I'm on.

You guys are the realest homies in the world.

Yeah, you guys are breaking the rules.

I like the homies in the world.

Hey, Cross, call this number real quick.

I want to talk to the homies

with the rules.

Patrick.

Connect it in with him on the phone.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, please, please.

Oh, what's up, homie?

Yeah, yeah, but yeah, we're all here together, you know, I told you, we're having a threesome, so we're here

I can't wait, they're calling us, they're calling us

They're calling us, these are guys

Oh, I can't wait for them

I miss them, I miss them so much

Yeah, you're gonna get to talk to them, trust me

This guy has such great, I love his rules

He said no slapping with your fist closed

It's connected

Hello, ma'am?

Hello?

You guys are not fun, you called some random ass lady, didn't you?

No, we called her. You won't shut up and she doesn't know what's going on, stupid.

Ah, yes, I know.

Let her know, let her know. Yeah, I think he called his wife.

Hey, I'm breaking up.

Hello, ma'am.

Oh, there's an Uber guy. There's an Uber guy. What the...

We're all Uber guys, you bloody idiots.

I bet you are, you fucking little fucking Australians.

We can't even know where we're going in the world.

Uber Remington. Uber Remington.

Australian, mate? That isn't even fucking close to where I was.

I sounded completely different. I'm a fucking Australian.

Well, then, Aussies, you've never even heard of him.

I bet I could rap this shit and make more money than that, probably.

Yo, yo, yo, I'm a rap, I'm a rap Uber suck dick,

and I bet you I could become a millionaire.

All right, hurry up, because we got a guy who wants to go to a mall,

so can you hurry up, please?

What mall is he going to?

None of your business, asshole.

You guys are true New Yorkers, man.

Come on, you got to tell me the mall.

Oh, they're calling in prizes?

They don't even know.

They don't even know that we got,

but we say T-Mobile, find out, we'll find out the number.

Oh, he's back, he's back.

Your buddy just called my mom.

They got us.

They got him.

Got him.

Oh, no.

You see how we gave you your real...

You see how we're not fucking around with you guys?

Yeah, you got us.

We gave you the real numbers.

We gave you guys the real numbers.

We're giving you guys real numbers, and you guys are giving us fake-ass numbers.

Okay.

Yo, are you talking shit?

Are you talking shit on the other line?

Let's just continue.

Oh, man.

He's on this side.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

He said your wife be making the moaning noises when we be calling her, man.

Okay.

He called us...

Yo, I really feel bad for him, because I hope that wasn't a real number,

because I actually pay T-Mobile extra money to find out what it is.

Do you wear sunglasses all the time?

Oh, no, that's not me.

Okay.

I'm not a big fan.

My eyes are not sensitive like the Italian people.

Okay.

You're right.

We've got sensitive eyes.

You guys have sensitive eyes, and you guys have sensitive skin.

You guys get skin burnt real quick.

You should wear something from the Indians.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

Yeah, we've got big dicks, too.

All right.

Nah, that's just a myth.

That's just a myth.

We already know the truth.

Jaiad, what do you got going on?

your wife your wife came to my house the other day and she was like yo we already know this man

all right listen we don't gotta play games we both know that talk to the bastard jesus christ

i can't deal with that yeah the guy never shuts up he's crazy yeah seriously john what you got

going on okay so i'm back home now i'm gonna call it a uh i'm gonna call it a night and try to get

some rest okay um and you know recharge up my cameras and dump material and all that crap

um can you explain a really good job can you explain real quick i got el hombre and d i don't

know who these guys are but d's on his way to a mall to do more of these calls you know these guys

these are your friends uh i i could uh out of those six i spoke to about four of them for like

20 minutes half an hour they all seem really cool to me all right so i i um so anyways uh yeah so

So some of my other camera guys are going to start working in for me.

Gilmore's going to be on in a little bit, so help share this with him.

I'd love to get a Gilmore, Gilmumble prank or something, right?

Yeah, that's right.

So please, you know, and all the hosts and all the cameramen have each other's information,

so they should all be able to communicate.

But just keep passing along.

I'm going to try to get up, maybe get out and get one from, like, the Donnie or something, if I can.

So anyways, we did really good

We had some really funny ones

Somebody started tailing me around

Yeah, I see, that's true

Yeah, well, I mean, we were getting them other calls

And then during that fucking glory

One of the lines said, hey, I guess

Some kind of PLA radio

And I'm like, first of all, PLA radio

Yeah, yeah

So somebody's trolling us

Whatever trolls get trolled to

I get it

So anyways, my advice to the host

are when you state where you're at.

So if you're on with the cameraman,

get the mute to the chat room.

This guy's there.

Okay, yeah, yeah, I got it.

Yeah, no problem.

Yeah, but we got one guy on the way to the mall now.

That's true, but I'm only going to have 30 minutes.

Yeah, all six of those guys,

I put their times, they'd be available.

So just, I mean, them guys are excited, man.

I've talked to them.

They're fucking excited to be part of this.

So use them, use them.

I'll be out there as much as I can.

But I have a concern now.

All right, I got to talk.

All right, Jaya, thanks, man.

Good work.

We'll loop up with you tomorrow.

Great job, Jaya.

Yeah, man.

Okay.

Take it easy.

See you, man.

Bye.

All right, Jaya's going to take a sleep now.

All right, so, El Umbre, so Jaya conscripted you and, I guess, Dee, same thing.

You guys are working with Jaya to go out and record some pranks, as we call them.

That's right, man.

Okay.

Hey, shut up, bancho.

Huh?

What's your problem?

Who the fuck is that?

That's the guy you guys had me call some other guy.

I don't know.

Hey, hey, hey.

Kandu, you there?

Hey, which language do you speak?

Hello?

Idiot.

Mother Chud.

He's just there.

Sister Chud.

Kandu.

Yeah, well, here's my concern real quick.

D, I don't know, you're on standby.

D said he was going to head over to a mall.

It would be 20 minutes from the get-there, and I didn't realize I'm already...

That guy hung up.

I didn't realize how deep we were in the show.

I'm going to be off the air in about 30 minutes.

so gilmore is actually gonna have to take that over uh a b gilmore if you're out there and you're

listening uh hit me up make because i need to communicate with you for the turnover for the

next show hang on a minute who's doing the next show i thought neon was going on not neon um

uh carlito uh dashie was on the spot found the number for the asshole in the background that

was yelling too okay really so like i started calling him i'm like uber driver and that's all

All I kept saying to him, he's like, you motherfuckers don't want to call the real number.

That's why he was saying that he was calling me.

Okay, I get you.

So while you were talking to him, I was on the other line in the background talking to his buddy,

just yelling Uber driver at him.

All right, El Hombre, so you're –

Yo, what up?

I'm going to pass – no, no, I'm not passing.

Because I only have 30 minutes left, and I got one guy already headed out of the place.

So I don't think – I don't want you to go somewhere, and I can't guarantee that Gilmore

or whoever's on next is going to be able to utilize it.

I'm actually right in front of a shop right now.

I could ping you the number in the chat there.

Well, that works.

Why does this guy sound really cool, man?

I don't know.

His name's El Armbar.

I'm the man.

Yeah, you are the fucking man, man.

You sound good.

You should be on Radiate.

Oh, yeah.

Great job, man.

I've got that before.

Yeah, ping me the number.

Yeah, send the number now.

Don't say it out over the air because we've got some up to shenanigans.

put it in there

and the number and the name of the place

and the city, just so I can pull it up

alright, copy machine, paste machine

here we go

yeah, he's on it

metalhead

Carlito, this one's going right to you, bud

got it, straight to me

hang on real quick, let's see what Gilmore

Gilmore's ready to receive communications

and he gave me his frequency number, good, we're good to go

I also have

communications from Turbo, who might be

making an appearance on gilmore show he is gonna be getting some earthquake to drink and shit might

be wiling out on that show earthquake is that a caffeinated beer or something uh no it's a

like percentage beer it's like 12 i've told you about this comes in a big 24 ounce can it

fucks you up real quick do you chew it yeah pretty much the same company makes four local

makes it gotcha all right so we got a grocery store here they're open 24 7 um are you thinking

in front desk i guess right yeah i guess so i'm just uh kind of parked outside right now looking

in and it looks pretty fucking dead because it's 2 a.m here okay you feel safe going in you think

that's all right you're not gonna have yeah well that actually makes it easier to spot the hijinks

right all right yeah we'll head inside we're listening and let's uh give us a close give us

the go sign all right well let's walk in and see what's what's shaking guys any ideas for a

grocery store prank that we can do before that gilmore it's easier for me just to say

Hey, Gilmore, I want to make sure Gilmore has that list that Jaya is speaking of,

and you have the contact for the gentleman named D.

He's on his way to a mall right now.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That sounds exciting.

All right, so grocery store, I got to think.

What can we do, guys?

Any idea?

Ken?

Jaya?

Jin?

Jaya, Jin.

Jin, add.

Milkman, any ideas?

Jenny?

Grocery store.

I saw rats or something.

I don't know.

Yeah, Jin, Jin.

stuff you can put in your bum so yeah let's try it let's try it yeah that or like uh oh no the

cake oh i've got a fucking good idea i'm gonna get him to go and look at several items in the

shop get me the measurements of several items i'll say there was like uh some some stuff some

liquid on the milk uh can you actually go in the store and see if there's all right okay is there

some shelf like that you can tell me where there's like uh he can he has to take something

out like milk or something like that yeah absolutely all right all right you've got to

tell me where it is in the shop then i can tell him to go behind there and look probably on the

back or a side yeah it's in the back near the singing cows near the in the back near the singing

cows yes sir all right all right let me let me get ready here and it's milk is it uh yeah yeah

Yeah, they call it cow juice here, Jeff.

Yeah, moo juice.

Okay.

Boo!

Are you recording a video?

I don't know what you set up with.

Yeah, I will be.

Just give me a second, let me get fired up.

It's called moo juice.

We're kidding.

We don't call it that.

Are you serious?

No, I'm fucking with you.

What the fuck is it then?

It's milk.

All right, then.

Moo juice.

Fucking moo juice.

What the hell?

Why, you fucking Americans.

You're like hot fucking sneakers and shit like that. What the fuck is wrong with you? What's wrong this they sneak?

Why not move boy? Yeah, dude. What do you call tennis shoes and a place for one?

It's fucking around once we're running train. What do you train as trainers trainers? Yeah fucking sneak?

Yeah, you need to do more training with your arteries. You don't sneak around fucking I'm sneaking up to someone

I'm fucking running with trainers. That's what I'm doing. I'm training the Jews wear them here, and you know

how they are yeah uh are we uh good yet hombre yeah all right yeah i'm good over here man let's

do this let's do it there it goes well you need to give the details of the store for doing it's

a grocery store i think i hear it yep yes hello how are you okay how are you not so good uh this

mr stewart i was in the store just a minute ago actually i just left uh because you know at the

the back uh you know where the singing cows are at the back where the milk is yeah i took one of

the milking containers out and actually there was like some some you know whitish gooey liquid uh

all over the the back behind there with the milk is it wasn't milk it was very it is quite

disgusting i wonder if you could go and have a look and investigate okay i was actually just

made to check the tags in there so i can check there now okay thank you thank you yeah because

Because I don't know what it is, and I'm worried that maybe I got it on my hand and everything, yeah?

Okay, the seal test milk?

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

You know, where the moo milk is, you know, where there's next to the singing cows,

where there was the butter and everything like that.

And at the bottom, there's like a bigger jug, you know?

Yeah, the bags.

Yeah, exactly.

Now, and you move that, and behind there, I saw this white liquid.

It's not like a liquid, it's like a goo, you know, like a sticky gooey stuff.

and i got it all over my hands man and i'm just worried you know that maybe there's something

wrong so would you mind just please having a look okay yeah you're going to have a look

yeah i'll wait for you to tell me what is it so i'll wait on the phone

here we go i'm coordinated with gilmore uh actually let me add him in here now

well i can say prankstiven is taking off pretty well here so far he's actually checking the mail

What do I tell him when he comes back?

You fucking idiot.

Were you saying there's cum on milk?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I couldn't think of anything else.

Tell him to taste it.

Tell him to run his finger on it and smell it.

No, no, I'll tell him I came.

Well, get him to touch it first and then say it's sperm.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Do something with it.

Let's see if we can get a video of him sniffing it.

He's already licking it.

He's looking at each one of the fridges.

That's brilliant.

You heard of Moo Juice?

Well, that's man juice.

Gilmore's here.

Hey, Gilmore.

Hey.

So, yeah, we got El Hombre here, for example.

Jaya conscripted him.

He's out doing video of places that, you know, we're prank calling.

There's a guy, another guy named D.

Jaya's vouched for him.

He's on his way to a mall now.

It'll be open for another hour after you go on.

So do you think, are you okay with maybe doing some calls to that mall?

I got a webpage that has a list of all the stores and the numbers.

You can tell him where to go, or he'll tell you where he's at.

Okay.

I can try to make a few.

It'll only be open for, you know, a little bit once you end up going.

Yeah, I think I can do it in the beginning.

He said he was 20 minutes out, so he should be getting there like in another 10, 15, I think.

Hello, hombres.

He's still looking.

Oh, yeah.

He's fucking crazy, so he's looking at every bottle.

Yeah, give or take.

He's talking with a colleague now.

Yeah, some guys on the phone.

And I apologize in advance for the Nickelback.

Oh, don't worry.

I love Nickelback. They're a really good band.

He's there. Oh, he was there.

You guys didn't hear him? He picked up.

Hang on, I'll call him back.

Yeah, call him back.

Holy crap, this is a huge mall.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, hello, sir. I just called a moment ago, and I think I got disconnected.

We were talking about there was something on the milk at the back.

When I picked up the phone, you were talking in a different voice about Nickelback.

No, no, no. My friend is on the phone with me. I'm sorry about that.

Okay.

So what happened? What happened with the milk?

The only stuff I saw was some milk that might have leaked from another bag.

Yeah, but it wasn't. I can absolutely assure you it was not milk.

I don't know what it was, but actually my hand is stinging a little bit.

And, you know, if it's a problem, if it's actually something, I'm going to call a lawyer,

and then there's going to be a problem

because the store will be responsible

because obviously, I don't know what kind of liquid is that.

You know, it could be anything.

I have no idea since I didn't see it.

The only stuff I saw on Melving

was some milk that had leaked from another van.

Ah, well, you know what happened actually

because I took one of the milk

and I put the goo into the milk.

That you'll have to commit.

No, no, no, I'm saying to you now

that you know the goo the goo that was I I took it and I put it into one of the

milk so now somebody is gonna buy the milk with the goo and I think you know

that goo I saw a man you know he was standing there you know with his penis

and he was putting it into the you know between the milk bottles and he was

making the goo there you know well that sections on camera so they can look at

that and find out what happened can you send that footage to me as well because

Because I think that's quite exciting when a man is making the goo.

I'd like to also do that whilst watching that man.

Can you send it to me?

He ditched.

Yeah, he ditched.

Oh, fuck.

That was quite funny.

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

At least we got him to check.

That's funny, though.

Oh, man.

If I make for a good video, Jai might be able to use that, hopefully.

It's a shame about hearing the other boys say, fuck's sake.

Yeah, still, it doesn't mean nothing, like you said.

Yeah, what's up?

hey i i i got a message for you i just talked to mom she said to tell you hello and happy

thanksgiving from from you who said this oh man i believe you said his mother oh your mother okay

your mom yeah my my mom my mom your mom okay oh yes our mom yes yes tell her happy thanksgiving

god bless her uh el hombre el hombre is acting like he's looking for something i think he might

might be in the shit

right now.

Let's all pray for him.

Yeah, I was kind of

looking for...

Uh-oh.

Everyone give a

prayer for Lumber.

Hopefully he can...

Like, ribeye.

Open for extraction

from the war zone.

Benjamin Nader

on Facebook says,

let me get a

shout-out player.

There's your shout-out.

What?

90s Radio, where we

give out shout-outs.

Benjamin on Facebook.

Shout-out to Benjamin.

Who were they

talking about tonight?

He's talking about

the prank.

Oh, hang on.

This is a...

Have a good night, man.

I missed it.

what the fuck

oh Bray

is he on to you

oh no

what did he say

what did you ask him

I didn't catch it

steak

ribeye

that should be up

oh he's still

somewhere

yeah ribeye

okay

talking about steak

it's like 17 bucks

oh man

I only have like

no I don't

tell him there's some

fucking goo in the milk

alright

tell him the milk

has goo in it

there's goo in the milk

tell him

I was

just over there

and there was some goo

in the milk or something

it's what it was a prank though you're kidding me get some of those no way

i guess so i know someone was going there was goo on bag got it over his name

what do you mean like like it was a prank that he did something to the milk or should we be

concerned here tell him you really seriously think that you saw some goo over there though

yeah yeah because if you make him believe there's goo he's gonna fucking walk over there i'm pretty

pretty sure. Like, I don't know. I just

saw, like, a, like, sticky stuff on the

under the milk bags.

Yeah. It's not a big deal, but...

Oh, my God! Yeah.

But it looked gooier

than milk, you know what I mean? Like, it was kind

of, like, a slimy... Like, not, like,

dried milk that gets sticky.

I don't know. It's flaky. Weird.

Anyway. I can double-check,

but he didn't see anything. Alright, cool.

Well, have a good night, man. Carlito, call him back, and

I'll speak to him. Alright. Oh, no, I

want to call... I wanted to send him the...

I would tell him that I already got some milk earlier

and there was fucking sticky shit all over it.

Fucking pretty.

You sick fuckers.

Brilliant, man. Thank you.

Hello.

Ah, shit.

Sorry, I fucking ruined it.

Oh, no.

Oh, you cunt.

Sorry, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, get out of there, Lombre.

They might...

No, he's like, wait a minute.

The security's on to you.

Lombre, I sent you a Skype contact request,

West, so accept it so I can

talk to you during my show.

Gil Mambo? Yeah.

Gil Mambo. Yeah.

I just added this guy, D.

He's the one that's on the way to that mall, by the way.

You might want to send him a... He's going to give us the D, right?

Yeah, I don't know. He said he's

able to talk.

So the guy was...

That was classic, man.

That was so good, man. Thank you.

You did good, yeah. You got him back in there. You're almost losing him.

Good work, El.

I thought El Hombre was D. I was confused.

no you're good big d you're there hello d shit that was fucking hilarious man

if you're driving you can let go we don't want you to get an accident buddy

you're there yeah my bad i'm driving and uh be back as soon as i'm there hey gilmore is

going to be taking over he's going to link up with you make sure he's going to send you a

contact request all right fabulous all right cool thanks man see you brother i'm gonna go

good for my shit all right cool all right yeah um about 15 just send me a message and i'll uh

we'll do trenches and see you man okay see you all right gilmore's gonna be checking in el hombre

thank you very much do you have another story you can hit up real quick you think or i don't

well i'll drive around uh fuck it's like we got minutes left quarter to two let's see what i can

find here yeah it's got to be a gas station that i can walk into yeah find the phone number for

yeah well just let me know what it is and i'll before you go when we get it yeah it's one of

of those classic like uh you got gas for my ass yes we want to get an oil change and we'll do it

at the station i remember actually in this oh it's far too late for an oil change but yeah i know

we'll just tell him we're gonna do it anyway and he's gonna get really fussy about no you can't do

it etc etc we could also do a hang up the phone i always wanted to see the other side of a hang

up the phone call oh they helped tell him to hang up the fucking phone yeah that's a dwight thing

dwight you should do that then just tell him to hang up the phone that's more up his alley

no but but we're in canada guys so i have to do it like politely right like you have to say

excuse me sir would you please hang up the phone excuse me sir would you please

hang up the telephone have them go into a fucking store i'll do it right now

i imagine like okay all right give me a minute i'll find something

good uh let me see if i can conjure up uh another i would call the cab guys but they're just gonna

That guy is just going to talk her ass off.

Oh, an update on that.

Dashie has a dialer calling both of those numbers to him about every five minutes with a random caller ID so they can't even block the number.

So it's just dialing them back and forth between the two guys.

Nice.

So they got their hands full right now.

Yeah.

Well, hey.

We got a McDonald's.

Home Depot is closed.

Best Buy is closed.

All the banks are closed.

I really like McDonald's chips, man.

They're fucking nice.

Chips?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

French fries.

They're really good, man.

I'm not really, like, a fan of junk food, but McDonald's fries are fucking nice.

I think they're the best, and I have people tell me, no, Burger King.

I'm like, man, fuck Burger King fries.

McDonald's is the best.

I've never actually been to any of the others, because I don't think they're going to compare.

They don't.

To me, they don't.

People keep saying, oh, yeah, Wendy's fries are a great burger.

I'm like, man, McDonald's makes the best fries.

They're always the perfect color.

I like golden brown.

or Rally's

or Checkers.

If you want the Cajun

spice, yeah, that's fun.

That's fun, but if I was

going to be stuck on an island, I would want a McDonald's

fry machine. Just saying.

Perfect amount of salt.

The trick is, Dwight, if you want them

fresh, you tell me you want them without salt, they'll make them

fresh for you, and then you ask for salt, and

they give you a look like a motherfucker.

To ask for the salt after they give it to you,

Probably.

We'll do a Denny's.

Do you think we've got enough time for a Denny's call real quick,

or do you think you're in any second you're going to hit that?

Yeah, I've got a gas station here that I'm sitting right in front of.

All right, let's do that.

Can you type the, I don't know if you know an address?

I don't know how that's going to work.

Dwight is doing this, yeah.

You can give me a road, cross street, something where I can vector it on Google Maps and get a number.

Yeah, sure.

Actually, I have the number right here.

Oh, never mind.

I'm looking it up.

See?

Cross Dresser Street.

Moin.

Carlito, do you want it?

Yeah, send it just like the last one.

Send it straight to me.

Cool.

There's the number.

All righty.

Oh, my God, yeah.

Okay, here it goes.

Dwight, you're on.

Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on.

Oh, hello.

Sorry.

Got to get the camera ready.

Not bad, not bad.

And go in.

What type of place is this?

Petro Canada

gas station machine

gas station

gas for the ass

do they sell liquor?

like what?

beer, they sell beer?

oh not in Canada

you deprived motherfuckers

it's a dry country

who the fuck wants to buy alcohol

at a gas station

it's the stupidest place in the world

to be buying alcohol

you're not meant to be drinking and driving

and that's just encouraging people to drink and drive

It's fucking stupid.

They'd say, where I live now, you can't do it where I used to live in Florida.

That was the norm.

So there used to be places where you could drive through.

There was, like, grocery stores set up.

They were drive-throughs.

Drive-through liquor stores.

And you could just drive right in.

Like, hey, I need a fucking 12-pack, and they'd get it for you.

Yeah, you just point it away.

They got them all over West Virginia and different places, Ohio, all over that place, Virginia.

Some places, it's to get around certain laws.

They say if you stay in your car.

I don't know.

There's some weird blue laws out there.

They call them weird, antiquated laws.

awesome uh where are we at uh we got a lumber are you good yeah all right ready uh dwight here it

goes yep you want you want to tell me when they're gone yeah all right all right we'll hold on that

too bad we sent him some dick pic faxes from dashie do i i don't know i don't know if you

updated your mixler but it actually it's popping up when the next event's supposed to come on it's

actually it just came up and said 10 minutes until gilmore starts because you set up the

schedules in there uh yeah ahead of time yeah pretty cool so it's kind of like a heads up yeah

uh i've seen it one other time when i set up my own thing and i started my mix all right go ahead

all right and but yeah it pops it up and then like when it's time so starting now

busy hang on the fax machine's got a hold of the call busy again come on fax machine like

there we go we're good hang up before the fax picks up so it doesn't hang next time all right

give me the heads up it should probably be the last call for this show tonight i'm gonna go over

some instructions for everyone real quick

about the rest of the night. I'm going to go over that schedule real quick

again, and I'm going to listen

until I fall asleep.

prankcallnation.com

to donate

to save Christmas.

We're up at 200-something,

I believe.

Motherf-

I just hung up.

Bastards!

Did he slam the phone on us, or is he just...

No.

Just a connection issue.

Hello?

These fuckers are just ignoring it.

Yeah, they're just ignoring it.

All right, try something in the, uh, changing your, uh, dialer machine to something.

I can hear the caller ID repeat.

Call from...

Uh, yeah, there we go.

Skittles, motherfucker.

Busy.

Dr. Pepper.

Skittles.

I think I'm gonna ask him about Doritos.

You guys got Doritos up there, right?

No.

No?

Doritos?

No.

What's that?

Are you communists?

Are you serious?

Of course I am.

No, what's that?

They're chips.

They're potato chips.

Crisps.

Get out of here.

We know what you call it.

Yeah.

Potato.

Potato chips.

Potato.

Go ahead, you're on.

Good morning, Jock.

How are you doing?

I need to know how much a bag of Skittles are.

Sorry?

How much are your bag of Skittles?

I don't know.

I don't know what Skittles I'm talking about.

Can you check for me?

No, no.

I'm busy right now.

All right.

Why don't you hang up the phone then, motherfucker?

Fucker.

Short, sweet.

Let me try him real quick again.

I'm busy, I'm busy.

No speak English.

It would be really hilarious.

He sounded really good.

Trick him into putting some Mentos into some fucking...

Yes, the Diet Coke.

Great to get on video.

That would be so awesome to get.

If we could get that, holy shit.

Did you hear those that we did earlier in the year?

Yeah.

Dwight and shit.

Oh, man.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, shit.

I'm surprised that shit doesn't go viral

you know

other fucking stupid prank calls

go fucking 12 million hits

he pays for the hits

it's like awesome pranks or something

I don't know how the fuck he gets it

like 12 million hits

and his pranks are shit

you know compared to the kind of stuff we do

it's just bollocks

yeah I think that's it

no I don't believe in those

nope we're all good man

you okay?

you look a little bit off

usually you're a little smiley or you know

you having a rough night cool thanks bro all right take it easy i love you

this is just fun to get these reports back i love it guy didn't fucking look at me the whole time

he's probably gonna go hang himself now dwight you motherfucker i didn't get the video of him

because you were talking about skills and i had a bag of skittles in my head i didn't want to get

made well you fucking told me there was no doritos so i fucking abandoned that idea

i was like all right no no fucking no doritos all right fuck it skittles time

well you guys gotta get to all right i gotta get to bed yeah man thanks for that was fun

we got yeah like yeah that was awesome thanks yeah i'd like to you know chat more and see what

we can make out of this i'll send it all to jad and we'll have fun sounds good all right bro

Thanks, bro. Thanks for being here. Have a good one.

Yeah, thanks. It was fun.

See you later, everybody.

Take it easy, buddy.

See you.

Bye.

That's a humbler.

Yeah.

All right, so Gilly Mumbo is going to be taking over here, so I'm going to start signing off.

Thanks, Jin, Ken, Dwight.

Hey, no problem, buddy.

Yeah, Jin, I kept you all night. Sorry to keep you up.

Yeah, kept me all night. Don't worry, man.

I've got a couple of things I need to do today, but I've got enough drugs to stay awake, so don't worry.

Cool. All right. See you later, man.

Great job, Jimmy.

Thank you, brother.

other ken you're on a 4 p.m eastern right so yes you got anything planned any btr so anything whack

you're just gonna i have fucking nothing planned oh good uh not yet uh but i'll be on with sloth

also at uh two okay all right so you'll be on for a while cool yep i'll get a plan then you know btr

is pretty goddamn dead lately so i wouldn't really rely on that all right sorry sounds good all right

well i'll i'll be around too oh probably more than likely so carlito this is all going out on your

stream yeah yes it is yep okay cool all right see you dwight all right milkman you want to

before milkman takes us out of here real quick again gilmore's taking over here

in uh just a moment he's he's uh slotted i believe for two or three i can't remember

two two then neon takes over for a couple hours um shit i don't have the schedule in front of me

so now i can't tell everybody what's going on i can tell you where i'm going to go to look at it

which is over at prankcallnation.com

slash pranksgiving

as Jaiad was explaining

at the beginning of the show

we're helping out a family in need

I think we're up to 200 something right now

I'm sure we'll get more updates

and again I'm going to be donating

whatever Patreon hits for December

here the first week of December

so that'll go up a little bit

but please help us out

make that family very happy

a very happy one

help that grandmother out

there's the whole stories up there

again that's prankcallnation.com

slash pranksgiving

we got still have 20 more hours of live prank calls if you miss anything if you gotta go to

sleep understandable this will all be available for quick upload to bachi's ready to go he said

he'll be able to turn every prank's giving he turns around the edits really fast um expect

those to be up usually he's doing them throughout the day i remember last year he had him up before

the like the first shows were already all edited and uploaded and ready to go before um the whole

thing was over so exciting yay so tell your friends out there anyone you know anyone who's

you know not working tomorrow friday whatever it may be uh tell them hey tune in this is the

crazy shit we do milkman take us out of here we need a quick exit here so gilmore can take over

excellent show everybody thank everybody

yeah stay safe

That's right. We do it every week. Internet, that's right.

We drop the diamonds fast.

It gives us the time, brings us benefits.

And it meets the way. It's welcome right here in the mouth.

The General Lee came out and I smacked their lips.

The General Lee came out,

one call at a time, bro.

Yeah. All right. Cool. Thanks.

As quick as I can go, bro.

That's fine. I know, Milkman. You did a good job.

Thanks, man, for being on.

I kept a good connection with you.

I'm glad you got real with me.

You did really good, man.

I only got lost in time once or twice,

Excellent job, man.

Excellent show, bro.

Excellent production.

All right, cool.

I'll let you go.

Jin, again, thanks for being on.

We'll hear from you later.

Yeah, thanks very much.

And once again, everybody, happy Pranksgiving.

Yay!

All right, guys.

That's it.

Out of here.

Bye.

Bye, Bhenchod.

All right.

Stay tuned for Gilmore.

What else can I say?

Let's just take it away.

Pranksgiving!

Around the epic rocket, he learned a few new styles since the two-year-old pickpocket.

The Horse Rises (Pranksgiving 2015)

Calls (38, 1 h 56 min of 3 h 42 min)

Transcript

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