More Get Your Shit Outta Here

I'm in the streets listening to Madhouse Live.

I hope my speech can compete with that bad mouth style that we get from Carlito.

That's my big amigo.

So just kick back to listen to this cat call people.

When the show goes live, I be like, damn, this shit's bitchin'.

Stop whatever I'm doing to tune in and listen.

Where you at?

You can catch me in the back of his home at Horse Machine Ranch Road.

I'm busting mad fat flows for assholes and banchos.

My spit crazy.

Shout out to Big Amy.

That's nice, honey baby.

We kissing pussies, so ladies, touch your labia.

It's crazy.

Have the stuff that my bruh might say to ya

Face it, cause it's the number one prank cast

Stay back if you can't handle all the straight laughs

That we hand to your dome

And if you want, call the number

You can listen to this show on the go

Big up to the man in the madhouse

Show love, just stick your motherfuckin' hands up

Some come close, but they can't get it right

Let the king do his thing, it's time for Madhouse Live

Big up to the man in the madhouse

Show love, just stick your motherfuckin' hands up

I would like to get ready to introduce the star of our show, the young man you've all

been waiting for, Mr. Soul.

So what do you say, let's all get together and welcome him to the stand with a great

big hand.

Oh, good, good.

Hey, you got that golf course machine over there.

Yeah.

I love golf.

Come on out and play.

All right.

So do I have to be a member or is this just pay to play?

No, just public golf course.

Okay.

So is there like a membership thing there?

I can be black, white, Jewish, Hispanic, doesn't matter?

Yeah, whatever you want to be.

Do you have duck machines over there?

What's that?

Do you have duck machines?

No.

There's no ducks on the property?

I don't think so.

Mostly geese.

All right, geese will work.

They're just like big ducks, right?

Okay, cool, cool.

Is there a place where they congregate around this time of day?

No, not today.

Not particularly?

I mean, this time of day.

It's too cold.

Where are they?

Where are the geese machines?

What do you mean, a geese machine?

The goose machines.

I'm sorry.

We have live geese.

They're not machines.

Yeah, they're machines.

jeans they walk they go whatever what do the geese do they go well how do they go how do they go i

don't know yeah listen to them yeah but where are they where do they hide out when it's cold just

on the golf course they're just chilling are they slower than usual i don't think so okay all right

uh yeah because i just that's pretty quick actually i just want to really go there for

that you know i like to throw stuff at them i like to chase them around oh yeah you can't really be

on the golf course though unless you pay well yeah i'm gonna pay i'm gonna pay oh okay yeah

you're good then okay well holes have the best geese machines goose machines i'm sorry they move

around they do just have to kind of yeah just kind of got to be out there how big are their

sexual organs i have no idea do they have big cloacias i don't know do you know congregate

with them do you know what the cloacia is i don't it's the gland that the goose machine has

a female goose machine yeah and it's it you know a lot about geese oh yeah i fuck them

yeah oh that's all all kinds of waterfowl yeah yeah good good uh are they asian geese or what

do you have are they importer are they local canadian i think oh that's the best that's

i love canadian whiskey i love canada i don't canadian whiskey tastes like dirt

yeah you're a motherfucker you know that like american whiskey you're a motherfucker

wow you're you're aggressive yeah you know that the whiskey is shit in america

is the thing oh yeah it's shit okay that kentucky shit it's shit kentucky shit is what do you like

that jack daniels shit no just bourbon you're neanderthal yeah yeah do you shave your armpits

probably not no do you yeah yeah of course i got a swimmer's i have a swimmer's build nice

yeah i'm eight inches cut awesome yeah what about you what you packing over what else can i do what

else can i do for you uh you want to make a tea time or you just yeah let me make a tea time let

Let me make a tea time.

Yeah, motherfucker.

All right.

Wow.

Motherfucker, you.

I'm going to throw balls at you when I get down there.

I'm going to throw balls at you.

I'm going to throw balls and golf clubs at you, motherfucker.

You got a big lip on you, don't you?

What's your name?

Wow.

Who is this?

You guys have alcohol there?

Yeah.

I'm going to dunk.

Can I get a margarita?

Well, actually, not yet.

A few more days before they open up the restaurant.

Is it a new restaurant?

Brand new, yeah.

Can I bring my own bottle of wine?

I don't think so.

Oh, you have a liquor license there, right?

Yeah.

You know what I say?

Liquor.

What's that?

I hardly know her, you know?

Oh, yeah.

You wouldn't want to lick her if you don't know her.

Yeah, you know?

Because you've got to kind of know her.

It's kind of intimate, you know?

Yeah, pretty intimate.

Yeah.

Do you go downtown?

You know, not really on the phone.

No, but I mean like on a woman or a man.

Now, who's this?

My name's Kroc.

That's kind of personal.

My name is Kroc.

I like telling sex stories.

We used to, in Boy Scouts, we'd be doing the camping out part, you know?

and when we're supposed to be sleeping, we would be in the tent

and we would just tell sex stories to each other.

Yeah, it's a bro thing.

I guess.

Yeah.

What do you like?

Do you have any special techniques for that?

For, you know, special service to the woman?

No.

No?

What are you typing?

Huh?

What are you typing?

I'm at work.

I'm just doing my work.

Well, what's your work?

What do you do?

Do you know where you're called?

Yeah, you're the golf machine.

Yeah.

I'm a golf machine.

Well, what does the computer do?

That's what computers do.

Yeah, but what are you doing with the computer?

You have a function there, right?

I'm working on the computer.

Are you Facebook?

No.

Are you on Facebook?

No, I don't do Facebook at all.

What do you do?

Twitter?

I don't do no social media.

Do you go Google Circles?

Google Circle?

No, no.

You're fucking pissing me off, man.

Fuck you.

Why is that?

Asshole.

Why am I pissing you off?

Because you're not nice.

I've answered every one of your questions.

You're an asshole, man.

That's pretty nice.

No, what was your name again?

That is pretty nice.

I've answered every question.

What is your name?

Answer that question.

But I don't need to.

Here we go.

What's your name?

Here we go.

You say cross, cross, cross, cross.

Now I've been asked, well, my name's Bill.

Bill?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

William.

Will you go by Bill?

Sure.

All right.

Okay.

All right.

And whereabouts you from, Bill?

Well, just from here.

Take a listen.

I got audio.

I got video of you.

Listen.

Awesome.

Listen, listen, listen.

I got this.

See?

I'm going to blackmail you.

you thought no one i was recording the whole time you hear her remember her yeah no the big fat girl

oh i remember big fat girls for sure think about the fattest girl you were with i have that on

video yeah i was hiding in the closet that's why i know all right but that's why that's why i'm

calling you but i gotta run but listen i'm gonna i'm gonna share with everyone on facebook since

you're not there you won't care listen damn you fucking shit thank you for calling all my golf

Oh, of course, it's Patrick.

Hey, you know Bill over there?

Bill who?

The Bill that works there?

Last name?

Well, I mean, I don't know his last name.

I just know Bill.

He works there.

He answers the phone sometimes.

He works the golf machine.

I have a sex tape with him.

I'm playing it right now.

Listen, listen.

Listen.

You hear that?

I got him fucking a girl.

A big fat girl.

You want to see it?

How much did you...

You want to hang...

You guys have a VCR there?

I can play it.

He really fucks her good.

Listen to...

I'm going to put you in hold, see if I can find Bill.

Yeah, yeah, get him, get him.

Yeah.

All right, thanks.

Maybe this is perma-hold.

Probably is.

Let's move on, let's move on.

We had our fun with Bill.

They shoot, shoot, shoot, I made you look.

You were slayed to a page in my rhyme book.

I mean, I'll keep it on hold on the background, but I don't think they're going to come back.

Oh, God, Bill.

All right, let's get some more prank calls.

Thank you.

Let's try a swap shot machine.

We are not available now.

Please leave your name and phone number.

We'll return your call.

Reach.

I'm sorry, the person you are trying to reach has a phone number.

fuck swap shop all right let's be silly and stupid i'm drunk i've been drinking gray goose

and cranberry and uh i had some gummies some uh i medicine gummies and some i medicine uh vaping

and i medication uh damn it fun we're gonna have fun for at least two hours here motherfucker

making up for monday yeah hey jimmy johns yeah i love jimmy johns my name is bill i need to make

Make an order, please.

And where are we delivering today?

I'm not delivering.

I'm picking it up.

Pick up?

Okay.

Don't presume.

Pick up for a name.

Bill.

All right, Bill, for pick up.

Okay, what can we get for you?

Yes, I need one.

One Club Lulu?

No.

What?

A what?

Okay, that's not a sandwich.

Do you have a sandwich you want to order?

Yes.

Okay.

Whenever you're ready.

The whole one, though, not the half one, the whole?

We don't do halves.

Oh, you do by the inch?

No, we only have eight-inch.

That's the only one.

Okay, so I need one eight-inch.

Okay, and what meat's on that?

I'll take, let's see, cold meat.

The deli cold cuts?

No, just cold, cold meat.

I don't need any upgrades, sir.

I just need meats, cold meats.

Okay.

Vegetables.

Okay, which ones?

The vegetables, I mean, the vegetables, you know?

vegetables that have fiber is there anything else i can get for you or did you not want to

place an order one sauce fuck you

yeah kdk missing kdk missing that reminds me hey everyone we need to be real serious for a second

um if i could just ask everyone first of all i need to call a general amnesty please

We don't support prank calling, even if it's not a member of the community, whether it's a fan or staff or someone who helps out in the background.

We don't support prank calling people when they're legitimately in some trouble, whether it's health or financial or career or just some kind of personal crisis.

So I would ask that we refrain from making any type of trouble at any hospitals or anything like that.

And I would also ask that we all keep the host of the janitor's show, Dwight McCallanahan, Ken, as he actually is his name.

If we could all keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

You may not be a Christian or believe in God, but if you could just keep him in your thoughts at least

and offer a positive outcome to the situation that a lot of you know about.

We love Dwight, and he's like a brother to me, and I'm very proud of him.

And I think that he's going to pull through, and I've been in communication with him.

he's okay his family's okay don't worry about that let's just keep do what he what he asked me

this was that we we all keep doing what we do is what he said so let's keep that going all right

well that was what was relayed to me from his family so let's all keep that in mind please

okay and no trouble i mean really i mean we don't we don't go around that's not what we're about to

be here prank calling people when they're sick or in trouble all right thank you it's here for

Dwight McClanahan, yeah.

Lonnie McClanahan.

Soon he will be dead, and I will be the king of pranks.

I'm kidding.

That's terrible.

That's terrible, terrible.

This is Moshe.

I hate just stopping and showing.

Let's go back to that line.

Still on hold over there with the golf machine.

Nine minutes in.

I am drunk.

It's called Jimmy John's back, right, guys?

Freaky fast.

Jimmy John's is shit.

The only good thing at Jimmy John's is their fucking bread.

And to be honest with you, they ain't that fucking good.

So fuck them.

I went to Jimmy John's the other day and I said I just wanted to buy the bread.

The guy was offended at me.

He said this is a franchise.

Jimmy John's?

Yeah, listen, I went there the other day and I just wanted to buy bread

because to be honest, that's the only good fucking thing you guys have there.

And the guy told me, well, this is a franchise.

This is a franchise.

I can't just be selling bread, he told me.

And I told him.

What location was it?

Your location, motherfucker.

And I said to the guy, listen, you might as well just become a bakery

because everything else there sucks okay why are you calling from tower cafe and doing this i'm

gonna block this number don't you don't block shit motherfucker you don't block shit motherfucker

oh man tower cafe it's just a random number dude motherfucker block the number block the number i

don't care yeah bitch i'll change the call rd on a motherfucker i don't give a fuck i want

satisfaction fuck him i'm a sir jesus christ here comes another fucking phone call i can do that

with a caller id beautiful i didn't know i could do that i can remove the cnam off of it wow

wow that way it wouldn't say tower cafe look at that you learn something every day that's

something i bet brad carter didn't know you guys don't even know what i'm talking about it's above

your level it's above most prank call host levels even you don't know what i'm talking about

motherfuckers working with skype prank calling on skype fuck you if anyone who prank calls on

on skype is a bitch if your prank call host is using skype fuck him yes hi i just like to let

you know i have the ability to do whatever i want on the phone machine because i want satisfaction

he's gonna block this number now i meant to say i want satisfaction fucker him meanwhile in tower

city let's say what's with the bright card hey motherfucker you can't stop me that means he's

gonna call the cop soon let's change that number one more time just to give him some shit i love

love fucking with these guys tower city fuck tower city right this is probably a tower city in every

state and fuck tower city oh he's just hanging up the phone now because i changed the id i changed

the id on his ass i think i did try it again just in case you my shit in your pants in tower city

man it's good doing a show y'all man i'm so blessed to be here hello yes i'd like to make

an order please are you still taking orders for a pickup or delivery it's for a pickup please

Can I get your phone number?

Yes, the number is...

Ari, and your name?

My name is Bill.

All right, can I behold for just a moment?

Okay, sure, thank you.

He doesn't have...

His doesn't match the ID.

His number doesn't match the ID.

That's what he's saying.

Should I take it?

Thank you for holding.

What can I get for you?

Yeah, thank you.

Let's make an order, please.

Let's see here.

I need one...

Hello?

Yes?

Yes, one...

All right, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.

No more of that.

It's over.

it's over do do do do do do dollar tree i think i need more vodka motherfucker should have brought

more vodka fuck yeah hey i like to make an order for one one all right maybe that's not the best

idea anymore if the place doesn't take orders right i should do a different idea a different

thing all right yeah yeah is that really all i have for you guys holy shit look at this number

That is a sexy-ass cell phone number.

Uh, telephone number this place has.

I can't give it out.

But if you guys saw it, you'd agree with me.

This is a nice phone number.

Hey, is this Liquor?

Yeah.

I hardly know her.

You guys, uh, you have that subway next door?

No, it closed a few years ago.

Aw, shit, motherfucker.

No wonder they want to answer, you know?

Who's over there now?

Oh, oh, oh!

Thank God the Beastie Boys are here.

Save the show.

If you want to join me, go ahead and let me know on Skype, any of the regulars.

I don't know, just, like, call in people.

people cold calling like some other host dude matt hillock except firmus firmus kendrick sorry

i'm connecting a firmus whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa firmus come on man you

messed up the song how you doing firmus how you doing man i'm doing well how about yourself

terrible thanks for asking i'm calling uh hobby lobby i know you're a big fan of theirs since

you're a conservative that's right yeah take rid of all the health care before i'll do it

fuck that right i'd be paying them that bunch of sex you know yeah i need christmas

shit that process hey breasts how you doing good how are you i'm terrible thanks for asking i

wanted to see you guys have christmas stuff on sale still we have a couple of items left yes

what do you got there i'm not sure um let me go look for you what are you looking for are you

capable of looking yes okay good uh i need a tree i mean we don't have any trees left well anything

Anything that has a tree in it.

Okay, like an ornament or something?

Yeah, anything that goes on a tree, inside the tree, you know?

Okay.

Okay, all right.

Now, do you have any edibles also?

No, we do not.

All right, do you have any gingerbread house machines?

We do not.

Do you have any hangers?

We do not.

Okay, do you have any wood?

We have poinsettia bushes.

You have poinsettia bushes you have over there?

How many you got?

And how much are they?

They're 90% off.

I don't know how much they are.

Wow, what else can I get?

I want to decorate the whole house for Christmas.

That's all we have left is the poinsettia bushes.

I'm satanic, and what we want to do is burn as much Christmas stuff as we can.

Good for you.

Yeah, okay, but hey, wait a minute.

Now, you can't discriminate against me, okay?

I'm not.

Whatever your personal views are, that's what we want to do.

Do you have any Christmas candles?

We like to light them because you know how the Christian symbol of the baptism is a lit candle?

Right.

We don't have any Christmas candles left.

That's all we have left.

we light the candle and we smash it christ and the fucking music did it again

cocksucking motherfucker music fucking firm is ruined here we go let's call him back

yeah firmus is gone yeah should i call him back everybody what do you think it says it got

disconnected is what the firmus thing says all right all right motherfucker it lost the wi-fi

that's why hang on hang on hang on guys hang on mr firmus sir yes i've returned oh good good thank

god thank god you're here you ever see a tv show called thank god you're here no i haven't yeah

you should watch it it was uh it was a british show and then it was short-lived in the states

around 2009 2008 it didn't really take off uh but there you go would you like to talk to a hobby

lobby would you like to help please um no okay i i'm trying to think of a premise uh conservative

Conservative, uh, trees, Trump, money.

All right, fine, no, we'll call Office Depot.

I haven't talked to them.

I don't know if this place is even open anymore.

I thought Office Depot went bankrupt.

Or was it Office Max?

I always confuse them.

They're combined now.

Oh, really?

Thank you for calling Office Depot.

What about Staples?

For store hours.

Location.

I thought Staples bought them.

They're a separate company.

Shit, then.

This is the caviar.

This is his savior.

Get this.

I don't want to hear it.

All right, firmness, and it looks...

uh here's i'm gonna name shit you tell me if anything sticks at you if not i'll just keep

going target tj maxx dollar tree liquor store great clips a haircut place hobby lobby which

you already turn your nose up at and a place called tacoma central whatever that is a shopping

mall oh yeah the shopping mall we'll call the shopping mall great they probably won't answer

there did y'all lose you again no no you should call the shopping mall and do the whole uh shipment

thing come over here five minutes or i'm distributing it out to all my employees if

If they even answer at the number listed for the mall, it's like a management office.

But here's Little Caesars.

I was just talking about this to some friends of mine.

We're making an investment in the Little Caesars franchise.

We're super excited.

Have you heard anything about Dwight?

I mean, all I've heard is the worst.

Yeah, it just, it's, you know, guys, man, if there's no show tomorrow, you know why, you know?

It's just, it's disappointing what happened.

Yeah.

But, you know, we'll get through it all together.

other but you know we wanted to make sure that you know we indicated that on tuesday through pc

i knew that you didn't hear it from any other source or anything like that right no rumor mills

and i heard nashville has something planned if you can't make it saturday so we'll look forward

to that we're covering oh i would love to hear a nice show nashville show yeah super excited about

that okay here is a little caesars for me and make sure you guys hit up paypal.me slash dwight

pc because he needs it more than ever hello thank you for choosing little caesars on union my name

Mr. Anastas, can I put you on hold for just one second?

One second.

I didn't say anything.

Me, I just said one second.

I'm on a diet, man.

And now there's a picture of Little Caesars pizza here in front of me.

And it's like right down the street.

And I know it's $5 hot and ready.

I can just pick it up.

Thank you for holding.

What can I do for you?

Yeah, I need to make sure that you have a hot and ready pizza when I come down there.

Can you repeat that one more time?

I need to make sure that you have the hot and ready pizza when I get down there.

What kind of pizza did you want?

Well, you have a hot and ready pizza, right?

yeah we have pizzas right now how many you have we have um can you count pepperonis we have four

of those we have three pepperonis but what if they go what if they go well that's why oh um

i'll try to hold them back for you if you tell me what your order is well i need i just need one but

i don't want you guys to run out and how long will you be here i don't know i don't know because i

have to take a shower and i have to take my medication well we can throw one in for you

No, no, no, no, no, no.

i just want to make sure it's hot and ready when i get there i mean that's the deal i mean we

usually do keep them hot and ready they should be hot and ready but sometimes they get busy and

me right now well can you make sure can you talk to someone and make sure you have one there

a pepperoni i need it there until i get there yeah it needs to be there do you need to get

that other phone yeah i cannot put you on hold well who do you think it is what was that who

do you think it is who do i think it is yeah i have no idea i need a hot and ready pizza please

i want to make an order what was that i want to make an order for while hot and ready pizza

okay all right so can i put you on hold for just one second uh let me check hang on let me check

I'm checking.

Firmus?

Can I put you on hold for just a second?

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

Firmus?

Can she put me on hold?

For one second.

One minute only.

I'll be right with you.

This is fucking stupid and gay.

Garbage shows that I do.

I just don't feel it anymore, Firmus.

Come on, just don't.

Be honest with me.

All right, sorry about that.

So you wanted a hot and ready pizza?

Well, I want to make sure it's ready and hot, you know?

Okay, well, and how long will you be able to take that out?

Uh, I mean, I don't know.

Firmus, how long am I going to be?

Evan, do you have any idea?

I have to take a shower?

Like 30 minutes

30 minutes?

Yeah

Okay, well we should have

You just want a pepperoni?

What do you mean you should?

We will have it ready for you

We want a guarantee

Okay, did you

Okay, we will have a pepperoni ready for you in 30 minutes

Did you want a pepperoni?

If it's not ready, you're going to owe me your phone number

What was that?

If it's not ready, you're going to have to write down your phone number

And your Snapchat

Personal phone number and Snapchat down for me

I'm sorry, I can't do that

And I'm going to eat the paper

I'll make sure it's ready

I'm going to eat the paper because I want it inside me.

What was that?

I'm going to eat the paper because I want it inside me.

The paper you write on, I'm going to eat it.

Okay, well, we'll have...

Did you want a pepperoni pizza?

I mean, what do you think?

I mean, how are they?

We will...

Those are the ones we usually have ready, so if you want to come in and get the honey

ready, we'll have that one.

Okay, all right.

Do you have a nice toilet in there?

What was that?

Do you have a nice toilet in there?

No.

You don't have a toilet?

Not in here.

Not probably.

Well, you have a toilet because you have to be compliant.

You have to have a toilet there for you, right?

Yeah.

where do you pee when you sit down on the toilet where is it where do you when the when the urine

comes out of your private parts where where is it oh where are you gonna come in for that

yeah but i want to see the toilet i want to see the toilet where the urine comes out of

your private area pumping huh how does it sound when you pee oh man and the streak continues

hey check that gort by the way gort go.rt yeah sure oh yeah anyone anyone anyone

Hi, thanks for choosing Little Caesars.

This is Gabby speaking.

How may I help you?

Hi, Gabby.

How you doing?

I wanted to make an order.

Okay.

What can I get for you?

One foo.

What was that?

Foo.

One foo.

What would you like to order?

One foo.

What's one foo?

Foo.

I don't understand.

Write it down.

Spell it out.

Foo.

What's going on over there?

I mean, you got phones ringing.

You got a girl in the background talking smack.

What's going on here?

We're not going to be really dealing with this.

If you want to order, this is an ordering one.

And obviously, there's people obviously trying to order too.

I'm a stupid girl.

Okay, we're calling, but we're not going to deal with this.

Shut up.

Don't give us a Hispanic woman attitude.

Right.

Typical.

Hispandex.

Yeah.

You know how those people are.

You can get a haircut if you want.

Did you add XYZ?

XYZ.

Yeah, XYZ.

Yeah.

I'm in here.

I was just thinking, you know, she's smacking her lips and doing her makeup and everything

and playing on her phone instead of, you know, taking orders.

Doing her nails.

Yeah, exactly.

Filing them and everything.

thing putting hot sauce and everything she eats hello hi great hi great clips hi how are you

i'm good i'm good it's good to talk to you again okay okay and i um what do you do with the hair

when you uh when you're done me yeah go home no the hair the hair that goes on the floor where

does it go are you stupid korean this is missy how can i help you what is she korean or something

How do you need?

What happens to the hair when you're done with it?

All right, well, I need the hair back, please.

My son came in, and you guys messed up his hair.

His haircut's upside down.

It's not what we asked for.

We need the hair back so we can get it fixed.

Wanted.

Well, where do you keep the hair?

In a vacuum.

And how often do you empty the vacuum?

Where does it go?

Do you vent it in the back in a dumpster?

Yeah.

I'm just going to help myself, all right, to all the hair.

And I'm going to put it all over, all over me, you know?

Sounds good.

All right, I'm going to kick you in the car.

I'm gonna kick you in the car. Dude. I really don't know why I'm even here. Yeah, I really don't know what I'm doing

I'm way over one. Huh? Do you want me to find some?

Stores in a shopping mall and do that idea. Yeah. Okay. You want to get our shit over here? Yeah

Yeah, I I'll find like a bunch of them

It's always fun. I just worry that people get burnt out of it. I need to burn out on it

I don't know if it's even a funny premise after the third fifth time

I'll keep doing it, though, if it's funny.

It's good when you get them when you call in right at the right moment

and they're in there asking for their shit.

Yeah.

The last time I did it, it was pretty funny.

Thank you for calling Famous for Word today.

Welcome to Cal, may I help you?

Yeah, Famous, why?

Famous how?

I'm sorry, what was that?

What's so famous?

Here you go, have a great day.

Thank you.

All right, thank you.

We sell brands.

Okay, bye.

Yeah, is there anything I can help you with?

Well, you didn't even help me, but you're already shoving me out the door.

You said, have a good day.

Oh, I was ringing up a customer.

You're ignorant.

you're ignorant is there someone else i can talk to hang up yeah maybe not be so rude either okay

check the geo.rt all right someone talk to her while i get that up here thank you for calling

famous footwear how can i help you what's the issue what's the issue going on over here is

there something i can help you with well my associate just called and there's some sort of

issue i just want want to know what your attitude is you know we were calling we wanted to get like

Like, we wanted to go in there and, like, sniff the shoes and stuff that are tried on,

if you could give us a list of all the shoes that are being tried by women.

By women.

I'm going to drink wine out of them.

Yeah.

Who do you want me to send everyone to?

Which one of these?

Yeah, hi, yes, I was wondering about the, do you have a rule about having to wear socks

or booties when you try on shoes there?

I'm saying, you want to order pizza, you said?

Oh, yeah, sure, pizza.

Pizza, okay, yeah.

Do you have a rule over there about my feet?

Yeah, we have some pizza.

Okay, yeah, I'd like to make an order.

Okay, can I have your credit card number then?

No, no, I don't, I'm paying cash.

Well, then you're going to have to call back.

I'll pay cash on the phone.

I'll give you the serial number.

All right, all right.

You must be really bored.

You stupid ignorant, you.

Yeah, you're the one calling and prank calling.

No, I'm not.

I'm being serious.

You guys are rude.

Sure, okay.

I'm getting the normal Latina attitude here.

That's what I'm getting.

Yeah, I use that line that you said.

all right where do you want me to send everyone to motherfucker you game style rt yeah but i'm

saying which of these stores should we uh have everyone yeah i put it at the bottom at the bottom

okay yeah i'm thinking like the last one the last one the last one last one okay yeah i got you i

got you let's call them first and get a name ah busy all right well give it a second try it again

it's busy good afternoon and thank you for calling ann taylor at field this is how may help you who

Who is this?

Susie.

Oh, hey.

Oh, my name is Bill.

Hi, Bill.

I'm not happy.

Do you have a question about our merchandise?

Yeah.

Yeah, I do.

What can I answer for you?

What does this do?

This part, what does it do?

What does what do?

The thing in the back.

How do I make it go?

I'm not sure what you're talking about.

You know how the chain goes in the back, the back part?

We're a clothing store.

I thought you were a jewelry store.

We do sell some costume jewelry.

That's what I mean.

I need the costume jewelry.

So what are you looking for?

Well, let me talk to the costume jewelry department because I think you're...

Well, we don't have a separate department.

What do you do there?

What do you do there, honey?

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

I've got somebody I need to bring out right now.

Can I speak with Ms. Taylor?

Is Ms. Taylor there, please?

No, I'm sorry.

Thank you for calling, Bill.

You're ignorant.

All right, fine.

Hang on.

Let me set the caller ID correctly.

second second second got a name though her name's ignorant

so the caller id has been set would anyone like to do this because i always do this

would anyone like to say get your shit out of here anybody sure all right all right so we're

doing the next one in the list there big guy all right uh in the next one in the jewelry category

yes we're in the next okay yes the one that starts with the b okay they're gonna hear it anyway but

Hey, whatever.

And I'm on guard to block anything, so don't worry, okay?

All right.

Here we go.

Yeah.

What's the name again?

Susie.

Your name is Susie.

Just tell them that's for Susie.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a manager.

Good afternoon.

Thank you for calling Barney's New York.

How can I connect your call?

Hi.

Yes, if you're trying to call, the store is still totally closed.

We don't have a date when it will reopen.

We have a big, big problem.

My name is Lornell.

i'm calling from the ann taylor and we got a shipment with you guys of stuff like a big

like three or four boxes of just a bunch of clothing and dresses and some like uh oh wow

all this like all this shit and it's like all in here and i mean i don't know okay like what

where are you at are you in people or what can you come and get it in like five minutes

Oh, are you calling me from here?

Are you here at SIG EPSAL?

No, from SIG EPSAL.

We're in the question center.

We're about to do shift change, though,

so, like, you need to have someone get over here,

or we're just going to consider it like a...

Okay, what has happened is, okay,

because the store has been temporarily closed,

the calls are routing to us here in SIG EPSAL.

So I'm speaking to you from SIG EPSAL.

I can't do anything for you, like, immediately like that.

Okay, well, I guess I'm just going to give the clothes

them and stuff to our employees or something because we it's taken up space we have a very

small storage space and like basically we don't have a back like everything we have in stock has

to go out on the on the shelves so okay so let's let's back up a minute okay so can i can you give

me your information again please my name is lornell okay i work here okay lornell and you're

with did you say and taylor yes excuse me at what mall what what location i'm only asking because

Because I don't know.

I'm sitting here and I'll take it.

Don't you know if the calls are being routed, like where they're routed from?

No, I don't.

That's why I'm asking you.

Okay.

And you said you have three cases of product?

Yeah, that's right.

Three boxes?

And did it come in by UPS?

I don't know.

Someone ripped off our receiving person, ripped off all the stuff thinking it was ours.

Basically, when we receive new product, it's sorted into different boxes of ours.

and so they just took exactly what was in you guys's boxes to ours and then i had them go and

get one of the labels from the mall's uh you know deposal room with all the uh trash cans and all

that kind of stuff oh wow yeah what's the product is it is it women's clothes men's clothes it's

women's clothing dresses and stuff like that shoes skirts wow okay and then it has our it has

It has Barney's, obviously Barney's tags on it, Barney's price tags.

Right, right, exactly.

So, like, basically we're about to do shift change,

and, like, I need to get this stuff out of here because it's taking up space.

It's going to be a day or two before I can resolve for you.

I mean, like I said, I'm sitting here.

I can send an email to the management with your contact number

and have them contact you.

We need to connect with either FedEx or UPS and get this stuff picked up, but it'll be a while.

All right.

Well, just let them know it's going to be by the dumpsters, and for whatever our employees don't want, it's just going to be in the dumpsters because I can't have it out here.

You're taking up space, basically, in our spot.

I understand your point about taking up space, but then you guys accepted this into your system.

system i mean i mean whenever someone sends something through the mail it's a gift basically

if we didn't purchase it so that's kind of what i i mean i called our corporate and basically they

said that we could get rid of it if we tried to call you guys and you weren't able to come

i mean i could probably delay it for like well we will make every effort to get it picked up

you're going to have to give us some time i understand your point like 50 minutes because

of shift change i have people going no 15 minutes it's not going to happen i mean i'm telling you

I'm sitting here in the operator's room, and I'm going to have to connect with management.

That sounds like a you problem.

Can you hold on just a minute, Lornell?

Yeah, go ahead.

All right.

I'm going to put you on hold for just a minute.

Okay.

He's super concerned.

I like your approach, Jerry.

You're being calm about it.

You shouldn't be.

He's probably listening to us.

For him?

Oh, no.

No, he's playing music.

I hear music.

Oh, you can't hear.

It's really low, so it's not making it over to Skype.

Oh, I see.

You're good.

and i can actually mute that hang on all right now he can't hear us okay worry about it yeah no i i

feel like uh it's yeah it's gonna be funny how this happens because you know what we could say

is like listen if he gets something in the mail it's considered like uh you know we didn't order

it so it's a gift basically yeah you know we kept the invoice for it it wasn't fedex it was it was

addressed to us it must have been ours anyone else i can add anyone else out there you know

Fucking Arby.

Lornell?

Hello?

I'm here.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Hello?

Three, two, one.

Hello?

Yeah, I'm here.

Hello?

Yes, Lornell.

Okay.

I'm connecting you with Tyler.

He's our executive assistant.

Executive assistant.

I'm connecting now to our manager and our regional manager.

Oh, great.

Okay.

All right.

Thank you for holding.

This is Tyler.

How may I help you?

Hi, Tyler.

How are you?

Pretty good.

And yourself?

I'm doing well.

Thank you.

My name is Lornell, and I believe you were briefed on the situation?

Yes.

Yes, my cash – Phillip, let me know that I guess some Barney's boxes have been delivered to your store by accident?

Yeah, that's right.

Okay.

So that's actually – do you – is it coming from a Barney's – another Barney's location, or is it coming – does it look like possibly from clients?

No, it looks like a Barney's.

I don't have the shipping label or anything because basically what happens is when we receive stuff, it's immediately taken out of the shipping box and put into our own boxes.

and basically the way that i know that it's you guys's stuff is that there's tags on it

so all those boxes and stuff are out at disposal okay all right yeah um so i will let um this

store manager know um right away and hopefully she'll be able to pick up the items and then

um she'll be able to i guess put them where they need to be but i'll just tyler i'm just advising

you that like in 12 minutes we have shift change and so like there's going to be a lot of movement

in our back and we don't even have that big of a back area like all of our inventory is basically

on the floor we hardly have anything in the back so it's taken up a bunch of space and um you know

i i have to get rid of this by shift change basically so basically what i told the other

representative is that if we can't get this picked up in like the next 15 minutes or so

we're just gonna like you know dispose of it or basically give it to any of our employees who

or leaving as kind of like a late holiday gift okay let me try to get a hold of the um so i store

manager as quickly as possible and so we can try and get that on product picked up do you have

their like mobile number or something um i do not but i do know someone that might have it so he'll

be able to contact her directly um because all i have is um so i can send her um me personally all

All I can do is e-mail.

Oh.

But, yeah, I do know our store manager does have her number,

so I'll try to see if he can maybe get in touch with her

and let her know the situation as quickly as possible.

Okay, well, if you are able to make contact, I'm going to delegate this to Susie.

Okay, Susie.

She's one of our employees here because I'm leaving in about 10 minutes.

Okay.

I'm the junior, by the way.

But I've told Susie that basically if it's not picked up in, like, the next 15, 20, maybe 25 minutes to just give it to whatever employee wants it and then make an announcement in the store and if any, like, customers or whatever want it and then otherwise we're just going to dispose of it.

But you're going to want to talk to Susie because I'm about to leave for the day.

Okay, Susie.

And is this number the store number or?

I'm going to give you a different number to contact.

Okay.

all righty thank you yeah i'm trying to get a hold of her as quickly as possible so we can get

that um merchandise hopefully picked up as soon as possible as well and it's like three it was

basically three of your guys's boxes and it's basically like okay dresses skirts and uh denim

okay all right did they just arrive today or yeah okay all righty thank you okay thank you

alrighty bye

sorry that went along really long

that's fine

he's taking it seriously he went up the chain

I've never heard of that store is that like a

not Neiman Marcus but like an expensive

kind of famous store with that Cadillac

level service maybe

cause it went to like a call center then you went up the chain

to the corporate office it seems like

or like executive

yeah I have no idea executive assistant

that's basically like a secretary

oh my god

that's funny

um all right here's the next one xyz would you like to jump in on this on the next one

hell hell yeah hell yeah which store am i by the way you uh you are uh the top one and taylor

ah okay and you can refer to suzy and uh firmest don't worry that number did not go out over the

year the one you gave yeah i was trying to be really slow so that you could catch it yep yep

uh here is that for you firmest yeah oh do you need do you see so in case you have to reference

where you're calling do you see that kate spade that's the name of the store yeah yeah i see it

and away we go all right calling kate spade see you get us to caroline speaking hi caroline this

is gaius over here i'm calling on behalf of suzy and uh basically we have like a bunch of these

items that were shipped to us you guys put in the wrong address or something you know and it

shipped to us over here at ann taylor instead oh no or i don't know maybe you guys you know are

absent-minded or something you put in the wrong address but now i have to deal with all this

these boxes and things here and you know i honestly i don't want to deal with any of that

i want to go home yeah what did you say you're from what store um and taylor have you ever heard

of us yes i definitely have um are you in uh duh yeah oh um so there was boxes shipped to you or

shipped from you sorry i'm kind of it was shipped it was shipped to us i have the boxes right here

and I'm going to be honest with you, I don't want to deal with any of this, you know?

Yeah, I understand, as you shouldn't.

What was your name? Carolyn?

Caroline.

I'm the manager on duty right now, so I would be able to...

Is she the one responsible for writing the wrong address?

It shouldn't have... I don't know any sort of thing that would have delivered anything to you guys,

but we can definitely come up there and pick it up from you.

Okay, yeah, please come over here, speak to Susie,

and maybe Susie can also show you, you know,

how to file the correct address as well next time

so this doesn't happen again.

So you're in the business mall, right?

Yeah.

So I can just come upstairs.

Okay, let me get my associate to come up there

because it's just the two of us in the store,

and we'll get those boxes down here

so you guys don't have to deal with them.

And please bring like $5 to cover the reshipment fee as well, convenience fee.

Did you guys pay for it?

No, I just think that $5 is in order.

We can distribute among the employees here for having to put up with this.

Sorry, but are they from UPS, or are they shipped?

I'm just kind of confused as to what is happening with them.

I'm just looking at boxes here, and you should come get them.

That's what I'm looking at, okay?

Okay, well, I personally won't be able to go up there,

but I can send my associate up there and grab them.

We'll bring the trolley up and take them out of your hair.

And you said to speak to Susie?

Yeah.

Okay, all right.

Well, I'm going to send her up, and then she'll go see Susie and then get that sorted.

Okay, please, can you hurry up, okay?

Yeah, we're sending going now.

All right, take care.

Bye.

All right, I got the next one.

Good work, XYZ.

I love the convenience of the reshipping fee.

That's great.

XYZ from XYZ show.

This is Derek.

Yeah, Vita.

Yes, this is Vita.

Listen, my name is Susie.

I work at Ann Taylor here at the mall.

Yes.

All right, listen.

We received a bunch of your stuff here in a shipment.

Oh, okay.

And this is about the second time it's happened.

Look, I've got 30, it looks like 30 thickening tonics.

Okay.

30 damage remedy daily hair repair.

Is this your stuff?

Yeah, that's our stuff.

All right, there's a whole box of B-Curly Curl Enhancer.

Okay.

Smooth Infusion Style Prep Smoother.

It was an entire box.

It says 100 count.

Listen, you've got 10 minutes to get over here to get this shit out of here, or I'm keeping it.

We're going to start giving out, motherfucker.

Because this is the third time this shit happens, motherfucker, you.

All right?

And now I've got my associates here on the floor.

They're opening up, and they're already going through them.

I'll let you know.

They're threatening.

They're like work-release kind of guys.

You know what I mean?

They live at the Halfway House.

and they're already opening them and putting them in their hair and joking around.

Okay, and you're just right upstairs, right?

Yeah, you need to ask for Suzy.

You need to hurry up because, you know, you've got 10 minutes

and I'm going to start throwing this out.

I'm going to start giving it out to people in the mall.

Fuck this.

I've got a lot of shit I've got to do.

Okay, we'll be right up there.

Shampure Composition Oil.

Right, that's all of our products.

We'll be up there to get it.

P-Homo-Liant Styling Foam.

Excuse me?

P-Homo-Liant.

This is P-Homo-Liant.

No, it's called Simoleon, not P-Homo.

Oh, oh my goodness, I'm sorry.

Oh my goodness, okay.

But can you really send someone over here as soon as you can, okay?

I will absolutely do that.

All right, hurry up.

All right, thank you, Susie.

Susie, ask for Susie.

You get P-Homo.

That was good shit.

That was good.

All right, who wants the next one?

Firmus, you're up if we're going to go around robbing on these.

Okay, that sounds good.

The faster you do these, the better, man.

You're always good.

We're doing Category 2, Number 2, right?

Category 2, Number 2, yes.

That's correct, yes.

We're going to send the whole mall here.

All right.

Yeah, go to their website.

Look up their items and just start naming them out.

It makes it sound legit.

Yeah.

Thank you for calling the R.A. Shaving Pill.

My name's Josh.

Can I book you a premium shaver haircut today?

Hey, Josh.

How's it going, my dude?

Good.

How are you?

I'm not doing well.

I'm trying to get ready to go for the day,

but uh my associate suzy just told me that there is a lot of shit here from you guys

i'm at the uh ann taylor in the mall okay it's just like a lot of shit here like face moisturizer

shaving brush save shave oil uh razors shave bomb all this other type of bullshit and it's

taking up a lot of space here we don't have a lot of space in the back and so i mean i know you guys

need to get the shit out of here i'm tired um yeah i'll ask my manager about that i don't know

anything about that um i'll see what he knows all right well if it's where are you guys we're

in the mall and taylor you're at

and taylor okay i'll i'll let him know well basically what what the problem is is you know

we need to get this out of here quickly or else we're just gonna put it in the dumpster give it

out to people i don't know but it's taking up too much space back here and i'm trying to leave

okay all right i'll let him know all right you got about five minutes because i you know i can't

stay overtime for this shit all right i i don't know what you're talking about but all right

i'll let him know what it means when you can't stay overtime i mean you need to come i don't

know i did out of here i mean what are you stupid or something i'm hanging out thank you oh man i

hope you still send someone they always do it seems in my cases where i've done that phone

number six that's not a good song i think we have to skip that one now we're up to category three

this is a big story here is book time xyz you're up if you accept oh hell yeah i am accepting this

yeah i love books all right this is uh i'm surprised that these stores are still open i

thought barnes and noble right i mean shit that's gonna be going away soon remember the nook a piece

of shit oh yeah with that crazy display it would like freeze or something what was that it was

crazy it was steven hi steven this is gaius over here at ann taylor uh i'm a susie's associate here

right i'm sorry i did not understand your question i wasn't asking a question i was making a

statement uh i was yeah it was ambiguous so if you'll repeat that again to me okay well my

You told me you work at Ann Taylor's.

This is Gaius over here.

Hey, excuse me.

Hello.

Very poorly.

Hello.

Okay, so my name is Gaius, okay?

And I'm over here.

Yes, from Ann Taylor.

Ann Taylor, right?

Yes.

Okay, you're following me so far.

Okay, good.

Yes.

And I'm calling on behalf of Susie here, okay?

And you have a bunch of these books and stuff that were shipped here that we don't want, you know?

And it's taken up space, so you need to come and get it, okay?

Tyler? It looks like I'm looking over here. It looks like I opened up one of the boxes. I don't

know. Is that an issue that I open up one of the boxes? No, it's not at all. So they were sent

in error then, correct? Yeah, yeah, I'd assume so. Unless you wanted me to get a load of 15

copies of Donald Trump's new book. I appreciate the notification and I'll have someone come by

and grab it for you. Yeah, please, please get it. Get it right now. I don't want any of this

this Fire and Fury, whatever this book is about.

I don't need any of this in this store, okay?

Yeah, just go ahead and seal it up, and then we'll pick it up.

I'm going to take one copy just to bring it home.

It's all this, you know, like mainstream media.

Yeah, don't be stealing from us here, Taylor, or whatever your name is.

Don't be stealing. Just seal it up, and we'll pick it up.

I'm just going to take one. I just want to put it in my fireplace tonight

because this is just a bunch of SJW propaganda.

Yeah, why don't you come bring it to us?

No, I'm not leaving.

You can come here and pick it up by the end of the day, or I'm just locking it in.

What's your name, sir?

What's your name again?

I'm Gaius.

Gaius, I will be right over to pick it up from you.

Gotcha.

All right, Gaius.

Gaius.

Yeah, Gaius.

I was listening to that again recently.

Yesterday, I was listening to it.

Because then I go to him and say, yeah, they were calling him Gaius, and he was sad.

I said, hey, Gaius, get on the phone.

Horrible dad.

That's what my dad would do.

Game stop time.

I guess I'm up.

Let's see if they are not busy.

They were the original target of this hit.

They escaped our clutches.

Do we want to call more stores in this mall machine?

Hello?

Yeah, if we want to.

Firmus is the propositioner of the numbers for these.

I posted some more in there in that same.

I just edited the message, so there's a few more.

Excellent.

Oh, wow.

I will look at that.

All right, let me get these updated numbers.

Thank you for calling.

This is Ling.

Can you please hold?

My goodness, this is important what I got going on here.

I'm sorry can I place you on hold for just a moment

and I'll be right with you

oh you're going to be so sorry

big time

where did you put more numbers there

it's in the same message

where all the original numbers were at

from 7.33pm

yes okay alright good idea

and look at the one I just posted at the bottom

I think they'd get really upset

or like they'd like move on it

pretty expensive yeah

coach bags yeah sure

Maybe we'll just call this place back.

In the meantime, we'll call the next one.

Or we can do a quick status check at Ann Taylor, see what's going on.

We'll say we're calling from the next one.

I'll say I'm calling from the next one.

Since my voice would be different, I'll keep this going on hold.

In the meantime, while I set that up.

Just a moment, please, everyone.

It's going to take some fancy switching.

Son goes out to Brad Carter.

I'm sure he appreciates it.

Brad Carter, host of the Laugh Track Matt show, Party Time with Laugh Track Matt and Zax.

Be sure to check them out every Monday morning, 8 a.m. Eastern, 5 a.m. Pacific.

Great show.

Did I do this correctly?

Yes, I did.

Okay.

We're going to have to call GameStop back.

She still has me on hold.

I have terminated that connection, and I'm now calling back our original place.

Taylor, this is Gabby.

Gabby, I just received a very odd call here.

I'm at Destination Maternity.

Hey, was it a guy?

It was like a young man, and he said that he was saying S-H-I-T shit.

Oh, no.

Okay, it's some guy is prank calling, but saying he's from our store.

Okay, because it shows that you called here.

Like, I'm just star six nine, you know?

What?

I did star six nine.

Okay.

Did he say his name or anything?

Susie, which is odd to me, because that's like a woman's name,

and it was like a young man talking.

Okay.

Who is this Susie there cursing like that?

That's disgusting.

Yeah, someone is prank calling everyone in the mall

and saying it's us more people or because we i just sent someone over there to go pick this up

but that was very rude of you to talk to him like that well we didn't know what's going on someone

is prank calling other stores in the mall and saying where we have packages of yours but we

don't like we don't know what's going on well you should be ashamed whoever that person is should

be ashamed of themselves yeah we're trying to figure out who's doing all right and you kind

of sound like that person i'm going to be honest with you i don't know for sure because i only

heard after the fact but no it's not it's some guy is calling and prank calling everyone in the mall

okay all right we'll see all right well sorry about that well my associate is craig is on his

way over there now and i guess you're gonna have to send him yeah he just walked in okay all right

well tell craig just to turn around yeah all right thank you all right bye-bye all right sorry about

that all right so at least one person's gone down but they're either getting callbacks or people are

showing up every store in the mall every store in the mall you guys oh my gosh every single one

yeah you want to go ahead yeah i just want to say be sure to go to the discord.gg slash brains go

to the bot channel give a rep to carlito for a great show yeah rep me because i'm trying to move

up there's a bunch of people definitely ahead of me and that's not fair i had that long period

where i didn't use it use the discord for uh obvious reasons so i got behind i don't know

know if it's the same rep system from way back since his infancy anyway it's just exclamation

point rep and then space and then you tag the person you're repping carletus that's how you do

it uh clarks does anyone want to call clarks it's a shoe store i bought shoes there before um you

know it's car telling me the song about clarks really yeah i like uh i like their uh their

wallabies i like wearing wallabies i must say they're a nice shoe but actually who's next anyway

way that's you uh ferment okay yeah i skipped destination maternity we'll go back to the shoes

this is wesley i'm gonna help you hey big wesley how's it going hoss good how you doing hey i'm

doing well um my name is locus i'm calling from the ann taylor and my co-worker suzy was telling

me that there's some stuff a bunch of like cartons of box uh boxes of uh shoes and stuff that was

was mistakenly sent to us for some reason so can someone come and get this really quickly because

it's taking up a bunch of space how many boxes it's like five cases of damn just huge okay we'll

be right over and can you please also bring like i don't know some pizza or something from the mall

because i mean for reshipping just like a shipping fee for us sure what else would you like how about

a tiffany's ring a what ring from tiffany no don't be ridiculous i mean i'm just looking for

something from my employees because we have to sit here and sort things we have to store it for

you guys for a couple hours i mean just bring just bring something small like a little pizza

or something let me call mr clark and see what i can do mr clark yeah i didn't know the store

was named after someone but i mean we got someone's last name like ann it's just some of our

Our employees are trying to, like, they're trying on the shoes and stuff.

That's it?

I mean, they're going to take them.

I'm trying to tell them to stop, but, I mean.

When were they delivered, today?

Yeah.

Wow, five boxes.

Big boxes?

I mean, there's, like, a bunch of shoes in here, a bunch of shoe boxes in these boxes.

Anyway, we're kind of busy up here, so can you send someone over here?

You guys aren't busy.

We'll be over in a minute.

We're very busy up here.

Okay, I believe you.

all right don't leave the attitude at the store when you come up here by the way thank you

goodbye all right he's gone yeah i don't think you bought it all right just a second please

do you want to pick a different store do you want to continue with our current propagation

whoever's next yeah yeah oh yeah yeah i'll go you you guys want to switch uh stores to send

people to should we keep doing ann taylor she's kind of passive lady is yeah mate let's pick a

different story to some people too maybe have any of the ones you've called an extra oh the

barnes and noble guy was kind of a dick right yeah yeah yeah all right or this person we just

spoke with the clark's guy yeah you think all right well so yeah it's uh you guys you guys you

did those uh bnn or clark's germo i'm gonna vote for barnes and noble yeah let's just do

barnes and noble it is let me set that up so it looks legitimate in the id in the eyes of the id

close Jimmy John's I did that already I can close swap shop does that didn't go

off and here we are this is the correct do we remember his name I didn't write

that one no I didn't either well it was it was like something with the

sea I think okay here's destination maternity this would be XYZ's if he

accepts yes I accept the mission all right call her big girl I'm sure she'll

I'm like, oh, yeah, I love that.

I'm not.

Damn it.

The girl shop is busy.

Oh, well.

All right.

J.

Crew instead.

They got clothing and shoes, clothing and shoes.

J.

Crew.

White people clothes.

I'm sure nothing there fits me.

That's fine.

Fine with that.

Thank you for calling J.

Crew.

We are located in downtown.

Hi.

Open Monday through Saturday from 10 to 8 and Sunday, 11 to 7.

Speak with a store associate.

One moment, please.

hi this is gaius over here uh at the uh at the barnes and noble bookstore and we have received

your clothing items and stuff here i open up the box and there's a bunch of trendy like you know

yuppie clothing in here and that and these aren't books you know we're an educated uh store here

and we and we don't have any need for these clothes so if you could come in and pick these

up this would be great because it's really bringing down the whole um atmosphere of the

store as being more of an intellectual powerhouse where people come to read and you know talk about

literature okay so did you get is that what you're saying yeah come over here and just pick up your

stuff please and i and i don't mean the please someone like send it to you guys i'm i'm confused

it came in the mail and it's sitting here um behind the counter and it needs to go by the

the end of the day preferably 10 minutes too late um like so downstairs just come over here to the

store and pick it up please i can't leave i can send someone i just want to make sure i send them

to the right place yeah yeah come here pick it up barnes and nobles you guys know where we are

we're the place where all the intellectuals go to get books what was your name i'm gaius

why do you need my name so i can send someone down there to go pick it up so they know who to ask

for well ask for like kyle or something instead because i'm gonna i'm gonna clock out here after

i'm done with this phone call sounds good all right please get over here post taste calls

terminated all right we got breaking news this is the first time i played this breaking news

sound effect so i don't know how it sounds if it's not good we'll find a different one let's

try that huh pretty gay uh breaking news uh kdk we got a kdk update here uh he no longer has

cable service at his old address it's been at least a year since he uh his service there was

turned over into someone else's name apparently so uh kdk is definitely not living in his old home

the uh account's been closed so apparently he's moved i don't know what that how that bodes well

or he may have died he's okay he's been suicidal in the past maybe we should start looking at like

obituaries or something i don't know that sounds kind of morbid right i don't know man you got

got any thoughts on that xyz firmus xyz is our leading kdk correspondent oh i'm the leading

correspondent where are you reporting live from xyz i'm reporting live here from from the palace

uh where kdk was uh last seen connecticut yeah hartford in connecticut i think it's

like that man that's that's that's terrible news so we're we're we're even further away from being

able to find them we had a hope that we'd be able to send someone to his house to find out

Now we don't know where our dude lives.

Oh, man.

I mean, I could see him being homeless, even.

But he owned that house outright.

That house was owned outright.

I don't know what would precipitate him to have to leave his condo.

That's very distressing to me.

Very, very distressing.

Maybe we have to call the neighbors, like Crab Girl.

Yeah.

Shit.

We might have to call the neighbors and see if they can let us know where Dave is.

Anyway, that's the update there.

I guess I am next on bat here.

We need to get some people heading over to the Barnes & Noble.

Uh, I'm going to try the Destination Maternity again real quick, and if it doesn't pick up,

then I'll do this, uh, Genevieve.

Destination Maternity, this is Gabby.

How may I help you?

Destination Maternity, this is Gabby?

Yes.

I'm writing that down.

Okay.

Uh, hi, yes, uh, my name is Cross.

I'm calling on behalf of Susie here at the Ann Taylor here at the mall.

Okay.

Okay, we have a lot of your stuff here that got delivered.

Okay.

And, uh, I really don't appreciate this.

This is several times now, and we have several, like, there are people on work release that

that work here so i'm saying that our stuff has gotten delivered to you yes and we're not well i

hope you know we're not in control of that well i mean why are we getting your stuff delivered here

like we got bras here and they they're open they're going through the boxes already i don't

know if you can hear them in the background but they're going through the boxes they're opening

up they're trying on the the bra like these are they're grown men they're thieves they're thieves

hold on one second honey okay all right all right all right honey oh i like that call me

hun she's got nice dark nipples like silver dollars hi this is joanne hi joan how can i

help you today hi my name is cross i'm here at ann taylor suzy suzy's my supervisor she put me

here to get you on the line i guess you guys had another delivery here again we got dresses

Glasses, bras, bloomers, blouses.

I've got five pallets of stuff here, it looks like, almost.

Five nursing tops.

There's a box that says nursing tops.

And where is it located?

I'm at the Ann Taylor.

There's a fold-over maternity panty, it says.

There's a hanky-panky lace original rice thong.

Okay.

And are you at the Ann Taylor in Pacific Place?

Yes, yeah.

Maternity fold-over panties, three packs, it says.

Okay.

Natari Bliss.

list is this your stuff it sounds like it's our stuff okay you need to get this shit out of here

honey i can't have this here it's taking up space okay i um i'm in the middle of an interview and

when i finish up i'll be right over to get it shouldn't work there is what i think that person

shouldn't work at this place what person the person you're interviewing should not be working

at this place this is garbage place if this is how you are i guess delivered to the wrong address i'm

not sure what happened but i'm happy to pick up our merchandise and i will be there i got a lot

of shit i gotta do you gotta do this you gotta do that you gotta get this shit out of here i'm

gonna start giving this out we have i have two girls showing work release both of them are

pregnant both of them smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol and i'm gonna give them all this stuff

pick that up with ups and i'll be over in just you're not taking anything with ups you send

I'm sending someone over here to get this shit out of here.

Get out of here.

Okay.

I won't be there.

Motherfucker.

All right.

Get him riled up.

I said Ann Taylor.

It's supposed to be.

Ah, fuck.

Hang on.

Let me call back and tell her I got the wrong story.

Shit.

Yeah, tell her I impersonated the wrong people.

Oh, fuck.

I said her name too.

Ready dialing.

Might as well.

I screwed that up.

But it was funny.

And so she's sending someone to Ann Taylor, right?

We're good.

All right.

for mesito it's your turn oh hang on hang on someone else wanted to join here uh fred of mine

let me get him join here see if he was calling earlier didn't have him did he get at it i've

got new skype and it's a piece of shit man i can't just drag people in these things anymore

god damn it i gotta go through the whole clicking shit the plus button yeah oh man i can't just

drag him in this is garbage garbage people all right done okay as i said for mesito you've got

got jnby any idea what that is women's high fashion apparel all right very nice good luck

with that just remembered barnes and all oh i see this okay oh yeah yeah shit coach is next xyz gets

it it's awesome it's a big money ticket one hello thank you for calling jnby hi how's it going i'm

doing well this is christian from barnes and noble we have a bunch of fashion boxes merchandise and

stuff that was mistakenly delivered to our store and it's taking up a lot of space and we need

someone to come and get it addressed to us it was addressed to you guys but it was delivered to us

our address and everything is on there center at all yeah barnes and noble okay good to know

i'm sorry i'm new to this stuff well can we like this needs to happen within like the next five

minutes or we have to like get rid of it great okay uh we'll be down soon then and then um we

also would appreciate if someone could you know pick us up some food or something for the

the inconvenience um sir that cannot happen oh okay then forget it we'll just uh distribute

this stuff to our employees our customers i don't well it's a gift to us it it was sent to us it's

a gift apparently i mean we didn't order this fashion stuff the prank call sir no i'm just

saying i don't get paid enough to deal with this all right i'm like entry level employee

he's still coming down hey here's the number someone got for me that i asked for and i

I forgot it.

I got to do this.

I totally forgot about it.

Let's see if he answers.

One of my childhood heroes.

Hello, Michael Winslow.

Oh, man.

Do you ever watch Police Academy?

Well, you know, there was a black guy who would go like...

Like that?

Oh, yeah, that guy.

Yeah, this used to be his phone number.

I used to call him here all the time.

I used to sell him Coke all the time.

Yeah, wow.

Are you serious?

Yeah, are you in Christmas also?

You're in Bethel, Chuliotta or something?

Are you serious?

The guy that was in Police Academy lived Christmas?

Yeah, and he had this number.

yeah he's still alive

I just think

maybe he changed

his number

you know

yeah

Michael Winslow

he'd go like

you know

yeah I remember

that guy

and he'd be like

like this

and then he'd start

going like this

well unfortunately

you're gonna have

to go look

for a new number

probably too many

people called him

yeah

probably

it's some of his

best stuff

I'm playing right here

alright

alright see you later

bye

oh well

not anymore

I got another number

for him

I was like

for real

wow

you know the guy

that made the noise

in the police academy

this is his best stuff

right here

everyone knows

he's like

no I've never really

seen police academy

oh yeah

I know that guy

oh

crap

oh hey

reclute's here

hey what's up

reclute

reclute made it

yeah

what's going on man

it's good to talk to you

brother

doing lots of drugs

Yeah, man, you got to stay easy.

It's good to hear from you, man.

You're having some trouble, I understand.

It's good to have you back.

Everyone, Reckless is here.

Fucking Prank Hall legend.

Back in the days of the Braille Bill.

All right, this number's retarded.

All right, I got another one for him.

Come on, we got to get Michael Winslow.

Are you guys too young to know who I'm talking about?

XYZ.

Oh, Police Academy, man.

I love that movie.

I like the one where they kidnap the director guy in Miami or something.

At no additional charge, AT&T can help you find a similar business in the same area.

Since the number is disconnected.

Yeah, you know.

What's next here?

We got Coach, and that's XYZ is up for Coach.

Home of the Coach bag.

All right.

All right, yeah.

I'm a big fan of Coach products.

I used to have Coach.

Hey, how's the dude doing in California?

Milkman.

Milkman?

He's working.

parking i hit him up yesterday and today on the zello app and he did not respond zello yeah it's

nice it's a cool it's a zello oh my god hello hello this is gaius here uh calling from barns

and nobles and we have a bunch of your it looks like bags or something i don't know i mean i'm

just like kind of here i mean i have this one right here just you know just through that you

know i don't i don't know what to do with this stuff but uh come pick this up please sorry what

What is it?

We have a bunch of your bags or something.

Get this out of here.

I don't want this stuff.

You sent it to the wrong address.

Shipment?

I'm sorry.

Yeah, it is your shipment.

Yeah, and I opened it up and it's right here and I don't want it.

okay are you going to be down here in the next five minutes uh we can't there's just me

and one other person right now in this door would it be okay if we pick it up tomorrow no because

i'm going to lock the door and i'm going to leave out of here i have like these um it has like a

bunch of these it has like a shipping manifest here it says a coach 1941 19 yeah 1941 coach

swagger 27 whatever that means cooper carry all okay you have a you wouldn't keep it there

overnight for us to pick it tomorrow morning oh i'm locking the door and i'm just i i mean it's

not my job to deal with this stuff so you can come and pick it up or you can uh you can i don't know

Just leave it here.

Who knows?

This Rose 25 with T-Rose.

I don't know what this is.

It looks ugly.

We just can't leave the store with only one person in here.

I want to make this clear for you.

I'm sorry that they delivered this to the wrong store.

Well, they didn't deliver it to the wrong store.

You guys put the wrong address down, so it's your fault.

And again, I don't work at the corporate side.

I work on the store side, and I don't.

right well maybe you supplied them with the wrong address is that what happened either way i'm really

sorry that it got delivered to your store and i want to be able to work it out with you i just

can't leave my store right now if it's sorry it doesn't cut it okay um so you're down barnes and

noble yeah me a moment i'm gonna put you on hold or i'm gonna work out uh where are you in barnes

and noble i am in the uh barnes and noble store on the front desk i'm running the front desk over

here okay where the people were intellectual people come to purchase

books you know literature reading material okay you've ever been in one of

our stores there's no need to patronize me I'm not I'm not patronizing I'm just

saying that appreciate it if you came into the store and pick this up okay you

you work retail also you understand that there are just like you can be decent

I'll be down we'll collect our commitment I'm sorry that I got

delivered to the wrongs would you mind telling me your position in the store well i'm i'm the i'm

just one of the cashiers here you're not going to get me in trouble are you because i'm on my

second strike right now you can't talk to other people like this come on please i'm on my second

strike man how okay if you're a cashier would you mind talking to somebody in like your your

stock or your management so that i can work out when we can pick it up i mean do you want to

speak to my manager guy sure okay here you go i speak to this guy he's like giving me such a

a hard time over a mistake that he made all right i just want to point out he made this mistake it

wasn't me and then he's gonna bust my balls over this bullshit oh fuck that hello this is cross

how can i help you hey um i'm i'm just calling you from the or i'm not calling i i'm over in

the coach or just above you guys and it looks like um when our corporate sent out you know

the shipment it somehow ended up in your store yeah yeah we got a box of uh a whole bunch of

them some of my associates are going through them already i guess they're some of the women

like our work release girls are going through it and i really don't trust them and i mean they've

threatened me before you know like they they try to one of them tried to beat me up once on my way

to the parking lot you know if they're that kind of employee i can't say certain things you know

obviously for you just leave in the package and put it in your back room for us to pick tomorrow

i mean we can't leave our store unattended i mean these are very intimidating women i mean they

They already have one of them.

It's a Coach Swagger 27 in snakeskin.

There were four of these here that I'm looking at.

Okay.

Eddie shoulder bags.

All right.

So I'm going to give one of these out to Priscilla.

Okay.

So I'm going to go down there to pick it up for her.

Bandit Hobo 39 with T-Rose detail.

Do you know what this is?

I do.

you i'm gonna so i'm going to go down there what kind of what are what are these what is this what

is this coach is this what this is this company yeah this is just above you guys yeah i've seen

you guys with the wagon right yeah okay we'll be down you have like shoes like that does she

choose the the buy one get one i'm gonna go down there with the security and we'll pick up hurry

up they're taking them already and you gotta get this shit out of here all right thank you all right

uh-oh

now he's coming down

with security

he's got a whole force

oh yeah

there's going to be a little bit of panic

because now I'm sure Ann Taylor has let security know

and now they're like oh my god coach

they're going after the big ones

we got a couple more

Michael Kors

yeah I love some Michael Kors

got a pair of

whatchamacallit

sleeve cuffs

cufflinks

Cufflinks, cufflinks.

Yeah, totally making that up.

I don't even know if Michael Kors makes men's stuff.

Who knows?

I think that's women's stuff.

Michael Kors.

Michael Kross.

Michael Kors.

Kors.

Calling for Michael Kors.

This is Kathy.

Hey, Kathy, that's Michael Kors.

Michael Kors.

We received, I'm calling from the Barnes & Noble.

Uh-huh.

Okay, we're right, I believe you're right above us, right?

I think so.

All right, listen, you guys need to get this stuff out of here.

What is it?

We got a big shipment here.

They're unpacking it now.

Now, the girls are unpacking, and they're, like, going crazy about this stuff, I guess.

Got shipped here.

You guys got a box of our shipment?

We got several boxes of our shipment.

Well, that's not good.

Okay.

I mean, why did this happen?

I can't control these girls.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

I mean, they steal stuff all the time.

Time?

Yeah.

No, really, they're, like, work-release girls.

All right.

Let me see here.

Bristol Floral Aplique Leather Crossbody.

uh there's four of these there's you're down at barnes and noble yeah there's a stack of floral

stretch viscose pullover i got a whole bunch of these here take one of these take these hang on

let me give me a second hey you can take these and then she wants one of the mercer gallery large

box tote something so if you receive our shipment it's easy for me to claim a loss that never

never received it and you guys did fine for it so well i mean get the merchandise away this got

delivered here i'm the supervisor i signed over for it i wasn't even looking okay i'm take there's

this brooklyn large leather and canvas tote and the girl said my wife would like this i got this

one and whatever's left over if you can get how long is it gonna take you to get somewhere here

you guys are down at barnes and noble where do i go to grab the boxes well the boxes are in the

the back i'm in the front desk but i'm going to head back there now just look through some of the

stuff okay okay so you're already giving out those items so why don't you guys just stick with it

and then i can just file a claim and we'll just get newer merchandise we'll get our full package

this is a lot of stuff but if you guys had opened our boxes did it was it addressed to

barnes and noble was it addressed to michael kors this is michael kors michael horse course k

Okay, it says H-O-R-S here.

I think that's what the confusion was.

Okay, so with that being said, and you guys opened it, and you guys are distributing the unit.

The girls are going through it.

I have nothing to do with it, is what I'm saying.

They're going through it, but are they taking the items from the box?

They're trying them on and stuff.

They're putting their stuff in the purses.

The one girl put her iPhone and her wallet in there and her money or ID and stuff.

So I'm guessing they take it.

I have no control over them.

them. They're vicious. Okay. So I do have your telephone number through caller ID. So what I

would do is just go ahead and check that phone number and I will make sure. Check the phone

number how? Can you just come here and help me get these out of here? No, because we're not going to

claim an item that's, you know, if it's unpackaged already, we cannot take it. Okay. So you're just

going to claim a loss and we can just keep the stuff. That's what we're going to do. There's

like 50 dresses here. You can also check to see if we're going to get a shipment and if they were

We're actually delivered there.

Well, you might not see it because it's misspelled, I guess.

This is Michael Horse.

And who am I speaking to?

My name is Cross.

I'm the shift supervisor here.

Barnes & Noble?

Yes.

Your name is Cross?

Yes.

C-R-O-S-S.

So are you calling me from a Barnes & Noble telephone number?

Because I have a call ID for a different telephone number.

Uh, all right.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, I'm just, I'm at another store.

And we were having fun

You know, we were just joking around

You know

Okay, well, you have a nice day

We'll just deal with it on our end

Do you know what the labia is?

I'm sorry, who?

Do you know what the labia, labia

On a woman

Do you know what the vulva is?

You know what vulva is, right?

Dirty girl

She's dirty for doing that

There she be

Hey, what's going on?

What did I send my caller ID to, motherfucker?

Some 916 number

Because remember they were trying to read it back earlier?

i can look let me see what let me see what did i do here shit while you're looking that up someone

from the discord.gg slash pranks wants to know uh an update on crazy fucker there is no update

on crazy fucker we got another bounty on him too we got 1 000 madhouse dollars on that madhouse

dollars how many gold stars is that yeah that that equals about 25 dollars on the madhouse store

so us dollars so if you can find any information leading to the capture and arrest of crazy fucker

from california uh please let us know email me madhouse radio madhouse uh mouse pad yeah

yeah you'll get a medal as well yeah madhouse radio at gmail.com and put crazy fucker found

in the subject line of your email thank you what was i doing checking to see what number i put in

her an accident god damn it got a number here ending in one five soon it is the barnes and

noble i have my id set to the barnes and noble she's stupid i put in forced trunk caller id

maybe that'll fix it if there's a problem i don't know i don't know the next one would be down to

mr firmus mr firmus are you ready i'm gonna give my spot to reclude reclude you are up that's right

thank you sixth avenue they're a wine cellar they got bottles of wine sir what you're gonna do is

you're gonna say you're at the barnes and noble in the mall and that they need to come get their

shit out of there you gotta they're a wine cellar you're no no no right six avenue wine cellar is

that the name of this am i correct there yeah all right yeah all right i know reckless is a big fan

of wine there we go oh big time big time yeah uh yes ma'am i think uh this is the six avenue

wine cellar you said yes all right look i don't know like if you guys typically make it a practice

this to uh to have your shipments uh you know just giving willy-nilly to to whoever but uh it's

gotten to it's gotten to our place here at barnes and noble and we got enough we got enough shit we

gotta handle uh we don't need this you you want to just like bring somebody to come and pick this

shit up because otherwise i can't guarantee any safety of any of this shit you know it's all it's

it's all just sitting here and it's a it's a liability for the way i see it so i see so i

mean what do you want to do what's the course of action here see they're hung up or put us on hold

the line has not disconnected if she's listening she can't hear us the cat got himself stuck here

in the studio room and he's meowing at the door and i can't move right now should i did it sound

like she was hanging up i don't know she kind of went uh-huh she she kind of sounded uh like

had that sarcastic tone.

Yeah.

I think that was a little bit of getting ready to hang up,

and then she hung up.

Yeah.

I think the line just didn't clear.

I'm going to call back.

Fuck that.

I'll take care of it right away.

We'll handle this.

Yeah, man, yeah.

Yeah, hi, my name is Cross.

I'm the supervisor here at the Barnes & Noble.

My associate was just talking to you, I believe.

He's very upset.

Yeah.

Okay.

What did he say to you?

Oh, my God.

He said something about a liability that our stuff was delivered there.

I don't know what he thought.

Yeah, he's, um, he has, like, a pocket knife.

He's, like, stabbing the wall with it.

Like, the stucco wall.

I don't know what happened, what you did to set him off, but he's a work release also.

I didn't want to call your security.

Well, I might call his girlfriend, because she seems to be, they told me to call her

if there's a problem.

Um, so, I guess you guys have a bunch of, we're a bookstore, ma'am.

We're not a wine cellar.

We just have a bunch of bottles of wine here in a box.

Several boxes of wine bottles here.

I'm a recovering alcoholic.

Yeah, he's a recovering alcoholic.

and he sorry i'm sorry i i i don't know what i can do because what do you mean they're not yours

there's wine here this is your wine they're addressed to you well do whatever we get this

shit out of here get this shit out of here motherfucker there she goes whatever damn her

god damn her just a moment please god damn earning god damn thirty dollars

Contemplating taking a break here.

We're supposed to end at 9, but I started late, and I feel the show's going well.

Maybe I'll take a break.

I'll do a few calls first, then I'll take a break.

We'll get ready for a break.

Did you get more numbers there, Firmus, at this moment?

Yeah, I will repost them at the bottom of the board.

How about we check in with a Barnes & Noble?

Who spoke to Barnes & Noble?

Was that you?

you it was uh xyz xyz yeah i think the guy was very very rude with me all right remember correctly

all right uh firmness did you want to talk to them then see what's going on um see if you get

an update tell them hey i got a call it's a weird call yeah maybe we get a update on there and let

me see if i can get back to the numbers shit and you can say you're from the wine cellar

and we're ready i think it was option two when i called or was it a just hold we'll find out

thanks for calling seattle barnes lowell's bill speaking how can i hey bill how's it going

going well how are you i'm doing well this is locust i'm calling from sixth avenue wine seller

and we had gotten a call from one of you guys saying that there's some of our

shipment yeah it's a scam somebody's calling all the stores in the mall and telling them that

there's miss shipments at all these different places so it's yeah someone it's yeah someone's

bored and uh they they find this humorous but yeah because we we supposedly got some stuff that

was delivered to ann taylor and we've already gotten j crew coming over so hopefully they get

bored with it soon but yeah they're just they're just oh man okay because i just had to call in

someone to bring like uh dolly and stuff because we can't leave the store if there's less than two

people yeah no yeah i there's there's nothing here for you guys i don't have any mission of

you guys oh man okay all right i'm sorry by the way is that trump book in there uh we have we're

still we're still filling reservations oh gotcha yeah so we don't actually have yeah all right

sorry man all right there's an update i think we might be freaking out the mall though at this

point yeah maybe we'll think i don't get the scam like how is it the like i guess it's a prank but

how is it a scam i think they think that we're maybe oh maybe they're disrupting security so

someone can come in and attack them you know getting everyone all out of sorts confusing

the communication that could be it what's the word counting off on the that's what i would

think if i was a security guy i'd be like oh wait a minute this could be a dangerous anyway i'm

gonna take a break it's gonna be like 10 minutes uh all you gentlemen are welcome to stay on

We've got Big Nashby joining us.

Firmus, find a new mall or a new plaza or something.

We can do some more.

That's fun.

All right.

Anything you think that I can do, man.

Because, like, literally, I've had this, like, writer's gap in my head.

Like, writer's, what do you call it?

Writer's palsy with prank calls lately.

I don't know.

I just can't get, I don't get there anymore like I used to.

I don't know.

I'm a bitch.

All right.

Who cares?

In the meantime, throw a rep to Carlitos in the discord.gg slash pranks if you're liking

the show.

That'd make me feel better.

That would be a start.

All right, we'll be right back, folks.

It's a hologram on the awful wolf.

You're listening to Madhouse Live.

I'm the largest prank call station in the nation.

Prank call nation.

Yeah, we'll be back right after this.

Roach Control, this is Cessna 0281-019.3.

Carlito, hi.

Hi, guys.

I'm doing a show.

I'm here joined with, sounding off, Big Furman.

die every day over some shit all right we got uh uh recludes here in the house reclude

got big nashby in the house hey everyone what's up hey big guy how you doing pump pump pump

we got uh xyz from xyz show.xyz is here hey everybody how's it going brad carter was here

and he hung up right when i was gonna announce his name how rude to him call him back there's

Here's Brad. Brad Carter's here.

Hey, you made it.

Big Greenby's here.

We're at Greenby. Hosts also the Greenby Show.

Greenby, do you have a show? Do you have a name for your new show?

Or is this the Greenby Show?

I guess it's just the Greenby Show.

Wow.

That's cool, I guess. That's cool.

That's how you want to go. Good first show, though.

I got to hear the first show. Did you do a second one?

I haven't been in the loop this week.

Did you do any more shows, Greenby?

No? I was going to do it today,

but

But I got home from work, and I passed right out.

Oh, indeed.

All right, well, you have yourself a nice break.

Firmus, how are we doing on the number front?

Did you find a new location to target?

All right, Firmus, he's still not here.

All right, let's see.

He's in a BRB mode.

Excuse me, let me see if he did.

Let me see if he did.

I'm number one.

Go back.

Trying to focus on mines.

Poke their eyes out.

Brad, you here?

You here?

Is your shit working yet?

Big Brad?

All right.

We got the one mall.

Okay, new mall.

Okay.

Grimby, have you done pranks like this before?

You don't, you don't, you seem like a very calm, collected guy.

I can see you getting angry.

I am very, I am very calm.

Yeah.

I don't see you getting angry.

And that's cool.

I think that's my problem.

I'm just an angry guy lately, you know?

angry pranks angry this angry that it shouldn't be like that you know i used to not be like that

i hear my old shows i've been listening to a lot of my old shows to try to you know ground myself

center myself yeah yeah you understand i'm just uh separating these numbers here so i can have

them nice and clean in front of me and then we're gonna get to the pranks oh some jazzy jazz all

right nice dillard's that's my favorite store favorite apartment store they don't have them

around where i live now but florida had a lot of them uh i should send people to auntie ann's

that'd be interesting if they kept showing up to the front there let me think where can i send

people to brew house now chance was claire's now pro shop

we're gonna do we're gonna send people to bath body works for this one that's my plan okay whoa

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Almost spilled my drink.

Closing in less than an hour.

I got to end my show in less than an hour.

That's perfect.

I have to end my show at the top of the hour.

Hello?

Thanks for calling Bath & Body Works.

How can we help you?

Hi, this is Cross.

Who am I speaking with, please?

This is...

Big Kim.

Is that with a K?

Yes.

A big K?

Probably, right?

Mm-hmm.

It's your big girl.

Okay.

All right.

Do you have any of the eucalyptus...

I got a massage, all right?

Like a dirty massage.

And she was using some products from you guys, I guess.

They're like eucalyptus.

it just it says like and you're all set okay thank you no all right thank you thank you

all right oh my god that's all i need the fuck did she say she sounded like she had a cock in her

throat all right i think i just confused her she's like okay yeah thank you well i'll teach

her a lesson i want to hear nash be saying get your shit out of here even you know what i mean

we're gonna do it up tonight yeah american eagle who's up who's up who wants come on who wants to

get crazy and wild. I'm talking to you

prankers, prank stars. Brad, are you back

yet, Brad? No, Brad.

Oh, he's not in at all. Okay, Gramby?

Would you like to do one?

Doesn't sound good. Not right now.

Alright, alright, alright, alright.

I'm trying to wake up. XYZ,

if not, I can

do it myself.

Which store is this again?

This is American Eagle.

Oh, but which one are we?

Oh, we are...

We are...

We will be open at 8 a.m.

God, that's loud.

Okay, we are Bath Body Works.

And you know what?

I didn't set the ID.

Hello.

And the name is Kim, by the way, the person to send them to.

Ah, okay.

All right, I got you.

I got you.

I want to tell you what here.

Nashby, what are you a fan of?

What do you like more, Bath and Body Works or the Body Shop?

I've never been to either one.

Well, actually, I think I've been to Bath and Body Works.

I don't think I've been to the other one.

Oh, you like that Bath and Body Works?

I like it.

It's all right.

I don't go there very often.

They got men's stuff, you know?

i got some nice soaps i got nice soaps and a nice uh face balm i got there once they don't sell it

anymore yeah um hey i left you a message in the skype machine okay yes uh well you tried once

remember you tried well i'll give it a shot again okay well maybe he's turned up right i might we

may need to see if we can find uh kdk man because holy shit well give me his information and i'll

I'll get him for you if I can.

Yeah, we'll get you what we got.

Hopefully he's okay.

I mean, maybe he's got amnesia, doesn't know who he is, and we could save him.

Calling American Eagle Outfitters.

Located on the upper level of the...

We'll play some Zelda tonight, you know what I'm saying?

Thank you

julie this is gaius i'm calling on behalf of um of kim here at uh bed bath body works

yeah yeah and we have a bunch of these like shirts that you guys sell or something over here

like i open up one of the boxes i'm like this isn't bath stuff you know and i don't want to

deal with this so please get this you know stuff out of here please okay um so you're gonna come

down here and get this shit out of here please you said it was um shirts some shirts or something

thing you know i i'll be honest with you you know i took one of the shirts out and i was like trying

it on seeing how it looks and it just looks stupid you know on me it's like yuppie stuff

yeah and it was a big box delivered to you guys yeah big box so get this shit the out of here

the out of here right now okay um i'm sorry about that are you coming right now um give me just a

second all right i'm gonna i'm gonna set a timer a stopwatch timer and if you aren't in here in

In five minutes, I'm just going to cheese out of here.

Free band music.

Oh, it's free and loud, too.

Taylor, this is Orpita Jaron, American Eagle.

How can I help you today?

How can you help me?

You can come over here to the Bed Bath Body Works, okay,

and pick up your packages that you addressed here instead of your store.

That's how you can help me, Kira.

I'll be right down there.

All right.

I have a stopwatch, and if it's more than five minutes,

I'm just checking these out, and I don't care.

Okay, sounds good.

And you can tell them Guy has sent you.

Okay, sounds good.

friend okay so you can't you can't get me fired for talking to you like this so don't even try it

that's some bad body work let's check any id it says she confirms it's correct let's see if we

get any more before i hang up she doesn't know she didn't hang up the phone yeah you know it's

just uh women you know yeah yeah yeah it's not a smartphone like i don't get it she probably just

puts the phone down next to the receipt you know to the base and thinks that's it yeah if you set

set it down it turns out eventually they hang up you know so just like this is how you do it

yeah when i was when i was in high school we had windows machines and this dumb girl was playing

solitaire and she finished her hand she went to play a new game she rebooted the computer

i called her stupid i got in trouble for it oh my gosh yeah i said you're stupid that you why

would you just reboot the computer you just had to go file a new game well you know something

thing i bet she never did made that same mistake again no she kept doing it she was insistent that

was because it was like a few weeks later just back at it again i was shook my head i shook my

head before you could say smh that's what i did she was trying to like she was trying to show you

off you know this is the way i'm gonna do it i'm not gonna let him boss me around i'm gonna sit

sit here for however long it took

to restart a shitty-ass

PennyMI386.

Yeah. Oh my god.

She really showed you, though. Yeah.

She kept with it, didn't she? Yeah.

She got her solitaire. I just wanted, I was mad

because I wanted her to play Civilization, the first

one, and she was on there playing

her fucking stupid solitaire. I hated that

bitch. Fucking Tracy Vigiani.

Fucking cunt. But she had a big fat

pussy now. I saw her on Facebook like

10 years ago. Oh yeah, she got fat.

She had a thing. I think she did.

I don't know.

Anyway, we're going to let this go here.

I'm sorry.

I got carried away there.

That was a good conversation, though.

Thanks, man.

Yeah, it's okay.

No problem.

I learned a lot.

Maybe we'll live.

Tracy Vigiani.

Ben Bridge.

The sound of everyone looking up about Tracy Vigiani in Florida now.

Well, they have to learn how to spell it first.

Got him.

B-A-J.

Is Axe around?

I didn't add him.

I should have.

I meant to.

We just went through seeing who was green.

That's it.

Said no one get upset if you weren't added.

It was not intentional.

And now Skype is frozen, so we're going to have to wait.

Now the music's frozen.

He is here.

He's in IRC right now.

Internet relay chat.

Oh, good, good.

He sent me a message on a something, and I just thought, here we go, here we go.

Oh, look, Big Baby Baz checking in, I think.

Perhaps, mayhaps.

Yes, he is.

All right, Big Baby Baz in the house.

Special treat for us tonight.

Night of prank calls.

All right, let's call another one here.

does anyone want to call the uh we got uh ben a jeweler a jeweler a jeweler hey carlito hey baz

how you doing buddy how's it going it's good all right hey would you mind just calling this saying

you're from bath body works in the mall you know my wife's gonna run she's gonna walk in through

the door here any second now so i'm gonna not be able to make any calls until we get settled in

oh yeah i'll just be on mute yeah no you can't then all right anyone else please someone help

me i won't get any peck peck if she catches me you don't want that all right all right i guess

i'll have to do it since firmus is away and uh nashby you do prank calls but you're like milkman

doing prank calls right aren't you like right yeah i'll start doing that okay penis just kidding

garlito nashby try it try it try it i get super nervous oh come on come on don't just think about

air force amy come on we'll do it together we'll do it together all right i'm gonna help you out

we're gonna call together all right don't go all right you and me i'll be scared thank you

We're calling Ben Bridge.

Sam, how may I help you?

Hi, Sam.

This is Sam the Jeweler.

Good evening.

Thank you for calling Ben Bridge.

Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

Hey, Big Sam.

Is this the Jeweler?

Yeah, what's up?

I'm calling from Bath Body Works, and I'm the supervisor.

My associate, Nashby, has something to say to you.

We received a shipment.

It looks like it's some of your stuff here.

It was addressed to you.

Oh.

Okay, and he seems to be, he's been trying them on, apparently.

Trying them on.

Yeah, he's been trying stuff on.

Hello?

He's here.

What did you like?

Actually, did you like this one that I gave you?

Does it look good?

Yes, it does.

This isn't going to work with you, right?

Because you probably get yourself real secure, right?

Yeah.

It's like a Brinks truck that comes or something, I bet, for jewelry.

You're not just getting stuff in the mail, right?

No, definitely not.

Okay.

But what time does that come?

Through what entrance?

It varies, you know.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Through what entrance, usually?

hey cross what's the secret code this jewelry it makes me feel all sexy inside yeah so we're

just making notes we're just making notes and nashby's just making notes also about it okay

yes how did the pearls look on my necklace you see he's on my neck he's he's now he's

getting carried away he's autistic you understand all right thank you the driver goodbye you're

welcome it's not gonna work on him because they don't they don't do that uh brad you're a big

friend of pepsi and burger king aren't you oh my god yeah all right can you hey it's good to have

you on you're the host of the uh of the snowplow show and and uh perhaps you can help us saying

you're from bath body works and telling burger king to get their shit out of there you know

you know the premise okay yeah yeah i've been listening for two hours oh nice nice man thanks

i'm sorry for the long break but i'm sorry i couldn't hear you guys earlier like this new

New Skype's a piece of shit.

It is.

They're forcing it on us.

I'm calling Burger King?

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Okay.

And your Bath Body Works.

Okay.

Body shop, got it.

Yeah, yeah.

So I thought I came up on my own with cranberry juice and vodka, and then my wife said it's

gay because it's a cosmopolitan.

I had no idea.

Hi, can I help you?

Hey, this is Steve from the Bath and Body Works here in the mall.

Can you hear me okay?

Okay, I've been having Skype problems tonight.

So we got a shipment of yours.

We've got a bunch of boxes here that were shipped to us.

Okay, hurry up.

This is America, lady.

Yes?

Hi, can you hear me?

Call tomorrow because the store manager is not here right now.

God, why did you give me this stupid one?

I'm sorry?

Señora.

Hey, listen, you just need to come here and get this stuff.

It was shipped to us by mistake.

I'm calling from Bath & Body Works here in the mall.

Do you know what Bath & Body Works is?

Tell her the one box is leaking.

Damn.

It's leaking.

King yeah yeah Senora can only get on the pocket the case on para ustedes

okay okay no pocket a case on para ustedes but a Burger King it's the bath

body works let Burger King a key in the okay it

can pass a get gotta hold a pass a kiss a pretend I keep the name of a key como

see a leader a de carne el sombrero hello I don't know I told the riga 100

hundred pounds of meat there you know what it's freaking build that wall right that's what i'm

talking about this show is going to get so much better i want to deal with that anymore the show

is going to get better when what the wall gets built see i'm one of the good ones i speak the

language keep out those parents talking well you came you came from the other beaner country so

you're good you know you're like a more exotic beaner that was not just the not the scummy ones

and it's just from Mexico.

They're no good.

I was born in Florida.

Yeah.

No, I like the thing about you coming over

like in a little inner tube

curled up inside of it.

Just look at my thumb.

No, thanks.

Yeah, JT, what's going on, boy?

My name is Cross.

I'm at the Bath Body Works here in the mall.

Yeah, we received another package here from you guys.

Well, it's not a package.

There's many, many boxes here.

Okay.

Well, here's the problem.

The guys are already going through it.

we got some people on work release and they i don't know if you're are you one of the work

release guys that works here at the mall you sound like you might be one of them yeah but

are you like a one of the on the work release program with the mall you see i don't think so

i think i know you no okay i'm wrong i'm wrong i'm sorry listen so the work with these guys

they started opening the boxes they've got uh they're the con all right so i got here there's

There's, like, 20 Converse One Star X Golf LE Flu, it says.

Oh, okay.

You know what that is?

Converse that just came out.

Yeah, they took them.

They're wearing them right now.

Bath and Buddy?

Yeah, they're wearing them.

I mean, I don't have any control over them.

They're blacks, and they're really, like, aggressive, you know?

Like, pitbulls.

They're like pitbulls.

They wear silver jewelry.

Yeah, and then the other guy was like, oh, yeah, that's the Retro 13, he said.

Something like that.

Retro 13.

Yeah, he's wearing that now.

no no he took that he took it he's wearing him now yeah he took his shoes i mean really he put

his shoes in a dumpster already he went out back he had uh men uh it says jordan he said these are

the aj 22 32 the aj 32 i think he said uh well yeah i mean there's a hole there's like 50 60 70

boxes of uh shoes here all right and through the boxes yeah yeah every time i cut through it stabs

things inside yeah oops oh yeah tell them you're scratching them all up i think you almost lost

them for a minute but then you reeled them back in good job it's it's the products that get them

back in every time yeah i go to the store's website just start i hit new arrivals and i

just start naming them and they're like oh that's our oh that one right through the leather that one

one right there tyler golf weighing shoes tyler the creator i'm happy that he got the grammy you

know good i didn't know he got a grant dude he um he didn't get it oh he didn't get a grammy

did he get a grammy i don't know i don't know i don't know he's another one he's got i don't i

don't uh sober cats are kind of weird to me i'm gonna trust sober people yeah there's a weirdness

to them. Talks about sobers.

It seems like they're getting one over

on everybody. Fuck them.

Build the wall. Keep those sobers out.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, yeah.

Then you have to build a wall around Utah, too.

What's up, Baz? How you doing, buddy?

You feeling better? Yeah, yeah.

How you doing? I'm doing

all right, buddy. All right.

Doing all right. I rode an exercise

bike for ten minutes.

Very nice. Are we all caught up now?

Yeah, we are.

The guy you called

boy is still getting his boss man or something i guess i'm gonna call back

he did he the boy went right over his head he made me chuckle up

yeah maybe that was like what's up baby boy you can say that and that's fine yeah yeah yeah that's

good but you just say boy and you say it in a way like boy boy that's that florida kicking it man

man. The rednecks I grew up

around, man. Start talking some failure

to communicate type talk.

The ones are like, yeah, I was at

the candy store, the

gas station, looking at candy, and the one kid

was like, oh, they got nigger lips. I'm like, what the

fuck? And they were like, just fucking

like those wax lips. That's what he called them.

Yeah. That's what he called them.

Dude, my grandma and her friends,

they had, you know, they ate like

bridge mix and nuts, and they had these nuts

they called nigger toes. Oh, the Brazilian nuts.

The Brazil nuts. Yeah, they'd be like, give me one of

them nigger toes yeah i dated this one southern chick and she was like her family was all there

they called me i was carlos that's what they call me carlos carlos carlos yeah carlos how

you doing carlos carlos like all right the landscaper yeah you know like wash the car and

all that shit oh you've been going for three hours look at you man yeah so we kind of did

a pre-show for you huh yeah that's awesome because i was listening to you at work and

And then I heard you saying you're only going to be on for two hours.

I'm like, ah, shit.

Shit.

That bastard.

I think we did three hours.

I heard the intro songs and stuff, and then I wasn't around anymore.

I got busy at work.

I had to make phone calls.

It's hard to listen to shit on your phone.

It happens.

I get confused because I hear a ring on the one and on the other, and I start confusing them.

It can get bad.

China Walk.

Does anyone want to tell China Walk to get their shit out of here?

Anybody?

Shitty Walk.

109 listeners how do you how do you fucking deal with all that that's low we're at 121

we had like 200 something for a minute zach said it was anomaly and i think he was right

because it doubles sometimes yeah it does but you were still in the hundreds though

that's yeah no he's like 40 40 we always get 40 people um dude the the my youtube

not gonna hey china walk hello oh shit i got it on mute hang on hang on hello hello hello

Hello, China Walk.

China Walk?

Yeah.

China Walk.

Yeah.

China Walk.

My name is Kulo.

I'm from the Bath Body Works.

I'm at the mall.

I'm in the mall.

I'm at the store, Bath Body Works store.

This China Walk here.

Okay.

I am Bath Body Works.

We received a shipment of your things.

We received chicken from you, your chicken, your beef, rice, oil.

oil we have all your stuff here all your food and mr cross yeah well what happened and boxes you

need to come get your shit out of here boxes is meowing one of the boxes has a cat inside of it

it's going meow hear it hello what what you said what yeah what you said i don't understand what

the people come bringing food here you're they bring your box of your meat chicken meat raw

Raw chicken meat.

It's here at my store.

Bath Body Works.

You come here.

Come get chicken.

What happened in the foot?

Okay, listen, you stupid shit.

Okay, yeah, the city walk.

Now listen, I kicked one of the boxes, ma'am, and it's leaking.

I think it's soy sauce.

What?

Motherfucker.

Hey, you know stupid?

How can I help you?

Hey, listen, sir.

I'm calling from Bath Body Works.

My name is Cross.

I'm the supervisor here.

I'm sorry?

I am the supervisor at Bath Body Works.

Yes, sir.

I'm in the mall.

I am a store in the same mall you're in.

Do you understand?

Say yes or no.

Yes.

Okay.

Yeah, I know.

How can I help you?

We received a shipment.

Many boxes of chicken and meat here for you.

they brought it here it is here on the floor the chicken all the meat is here you receive

a box chicken yes we receive your box chicken really yes many many chicken oh many chicken

how hot who are you uh i don't know i think it's u.s foods maybe i don't know i didn't

kim signed for a woman named kim she makes sign for it not me we have your chickens

what kind of work chickens what hello hello yes hello yes you need to come get your chicken

i didn't order no listen they delivered it here on accident it's here accident where you now

in my store bath body works you know bath body works has the lotion that smells good for the

woman i know i come now you come now motherfucker hurry hurry up and come down here run run down

You better hurry up or I'm going to eat the chicken.

I'm going to give it away.

I'm going to throw it away.

Hurry up.

Are you coming yet, stupid?

Where do you live now?

Ben Dan.

I'm at Bath Body Works.

Come here.

Stay on the phone and come here, please.

Who to Dan?

Hello?

Are you Dinky Dow?

Yeah, are you Dinky Dow?

He's Chinese.

That's Vietnamese.

Hello?

Let him go.

I don't know.

Maybe he's headed there.

Ben Dan is a stupid egg.

I called him a stupid egg.

Yeah.

I was hoping he had a cell phone connection

because maybe he would take it all the way there

and I was going to ask him to put it right.

Baz, what is your Skype picture with the little Chinaman?

Oh, it's actually a picture I took at an amusement park in Tokyo.

What is he, like an electric eel got to him or something?

Yeah, it was actually next to like an electrical condom box.

So I was warning you, if you touch it, that's what's going to happen to you.

You'll get shocked all over from the electric get out of the box.

I liked it, so I took a picture.

He's the little Thunderbolts.

He'll turn into a cartoon character.

Yeah.

Little Thunderbolts will come out.

So you went to Japan?

Really?

Yeah, that was a long time ago.

Remember, I actually called into your show from Japan.

Can I be fat and go to Japan?

I want to go, but I think I'm too fat.

Of course you can.

And I will, A, not fit anywhere.

I'm a big guy.

I'm afraid I won't be able to fit in seats and stuff or in the bed.

Oh, no, you'll be fine.

Okay, now will people laugh at me?

I heard they'll throw my belly.

People in Japan are really very kind.

Well, someone told me he was there

and he was a big guy and people kept saying

they blamed him for farting

and he said like three times

that happened. He said

some lady went up to him and went, very stinky

like that to him. And he's like, I didn't

do it. I didn't do it. Yeah, he was like

in a Virgin Megastore or something.

I'd say, fuck you, Chinaman.

And a lot of them would be like,

why you don't lose weight, vegetable?

For real, like that joke.

that what's oh yeah they were like you know maybe you eat soup i think they were telling

me to eat soup and noodles now yeah it was just like yeah i was like i mean he said i'm not exactly

thin and they were nice to me i said there was a lady rubbing his belly and saying oh you're very

big like that to him like i'm like he was in the hotel just tell me for good luck he said i was in

the hotel let's talk about a japanese lady who spoke english wow she was yeah i like that fuck

I don't like people touching me

in my press shirtless and eat food all the time

in front of everyone.

I thought sumos were cool. I'd be revered.

Like, wow, he's so powerful.

One thing you don't want to do is you don't want to point

at anyone.

I would point at everybody.

Walk around with peanut butter and just dip your fingers

in it constantly.

What you do is

if you go to Japan and you're

eating your food, take your

bowl of rice and stick your

chopsticks sticking straight up out of the rice they like that is that rude yeah i wouldn't eat

with chopsticks no that's actually a huge insult is it an insult like that it's bad right yeah

like i said supposedly it represents like the incense and a funeral oh yeah yeah i heard

something about that yeah yeah yeah it was actually on that wolverine movie i think

oh yeah i think maybe that was kind of good that logan movie yeah i hadn't seen the x-men movie

oh then maybe i didn't see it i saw the beginning of it and it started buffering and i gave up

and i haven't gone that was like months ago uh the new solar movie.ru is so good man i'm just

streaming like not having a tour and shit it's fucking good i'm loving my cody stick i'm fine

i still haven't done that but like i told you this because i'm never at the tv though i got

it running on the tv i've got it running on my uh cell phone and i've got it running on my

computer i got it on my pc here and my laptop because you can run it on windows if you want

you don't need to have bro you don't yeah okay i can show you how to do that that's it's an easy

one the code is a paid in the ass because you gotta like you gotta tell that or ssh into it

on the network and all that shit to get i got it going on my fire stick back in the day like

barely and then it like they didn't update and i didn't redo it you know right right but i was

doing all that shit you're like you're getting the all the shit off the screen and running over

the computer and all the little whatever yeah yeah it works whatever works all right so we

got claire's they have those like really shitty uh jewelry shits for the girls does anyone want

to call here and say get your shit out of here before we check back in with uh bath and body

work. See if anyone's coming. Anybody. Anyone

other than me. Please. Even if

someone has gone before. Please. I'll do it.

I'll do it.

Axper will do it.

He's lower on the

next on the list. You're hiring a seniority list.

And then Brad

has downs. He can retain

that right after this call if he wants to.

The next one. I've not heard of downs.

Down syndrome? Downs.

I don't know. That's what we call it.

We play.

Whatever. Okay. Claire.

Claire's. Claire's.com.

Where am I at, though?

Claire, thanks for calling. Claire's your air-pressing specialist. How can I help you?

Yeah, hi there, honey. I got a box here with your name on it here.

You know, Claire's. You got the jewelry. It's here in my office here.

I need you to come pick it up.

Okay, and who are you exactly?

Yeah, I'm Frank. I'm over here in Bath and Body Works.

Okay, then. Well, it wouldn't be able to be picked up tonight, but we could definitely have somebody get it tomorrow.

I'm sorry. I need someone to come pick this up right now.

Well, unfortunately, that's not going to be possible

because I'm only one person right now.

You ain't got any concubines over there

to come pick this shit up?

No, I don't, unfortunately.

Ah, shit.

All right.

How are you at cell division, lady?

Could you split yourself in half?

I'm pretty sure you're the one who is being an A-word,

but thank you very much for, you know, your polite words.

Oh, okay.

We have lots of polite words.

I don't know what that meant.

I'm being an A-word.

An A-word?

Did you call her an A-word?

Yeah, you're an A-word, dude.

What did you call it?

Did you say asshole at some point?

Someone?

No, no.

I didn't think so.

I said how is she at cell division because she should split herself in half and send

half of herself to the store to pick up the thing.

And then she said an A-word.

I don't know what that was all about.

How did she get that from?

Matt, it's okay.

She's a C-word.

Don't worry about it.

I think she just wanted to call you an ass.

For an awesome guy.

Yeah, she just wanted to call you an ass.

She just said the A-word.

tape i think you're the a word why even say it you know like it's in the bible a word

audit i don't know what you said that and maybe you said and amazing he's amazing yeah

we'll have to check the tape on that after the show rectum rivers check the tape go ahead and

pull that back yeah go ahead and pull the reel to reel yeah hey pro shop listen this is cross

i'm here bath body works my associate kim just signed for a shipment here i guess that was meant

for your store yeah so you guys need to get this shit out of here man because like it's taking up

space and uh we need to do a shift change pretty soon also uh

boxes.

We've got T-shirts here.

Several T-shirts here, actually, like a lot of them.

I would say roughly 70, 80, like just the T-shirts.

It says Dallas Cowboys stencil stack tee.

uh coaches 2t zeke and dac 20 2140 is this your stuff color dallas cowboys color state t

well it has our address here so obviously you get you guys fucked up again you know

because it's it's real fucked up that we keep getting your shit over here you know

i mean it's real fucking annoying and well i mean i don't and like well dude look listen listen you

You know, Brad's over here.

He's been going through the boxes already.

He's been cutting them up.

And several of the t-shirts already got slashed up because of that.

Yeah, it's like every time I cut into this box, like, listen, I cut into this.

Yep, there.

Look, when I pull my knife out, there's like a piece of t-shirt on it.

That's like five t-shirts just got messed up here.

Another one.

Keep cutting over here or in that spot there.

There's a blue one?

Because that tab over here releases because I want one of them shirts.

Do you guys have double XL in here?

You need to hurt because they keep

the Dak Prescott shirt in there.

Yeah, I told you. What, this 214 here?

What color is Prescott? Let me try

any key, and I

sure could go for my tab.

This one here says Zeke

and Dak 214.

Here you go. Here you go, buddy.

Yeah. Sir, I'll have to tell you

though, we did spill some lotion

on aisle four, and we used the

Romo t-shirts to wipe it up.

We figured he didn't need them anymore.

Ah, he knows now. Now he knows.

oh that's that's what gave it away the word lotion no it was romo it was romo right sir

no i figured he didn't eat them anymore yeah i know but was it the romo that made you figure

out it was a joke is that what it was no like it's just the lotion so this is a good one man

like i appreciate it bro how would you write i know like i'm not i'm not trying to be sarcastic

like appreciate it bro because like can i i'd like to apologize for ruining the prank phone

phone call for you sir okay do you want to help us make a prank we're bored here i'm not even

trying to be like a smartass about it like i really that's why we're doing this yeah we're

bored too at work you want to do a call with us i mean can you want to hang on if you're not doing

it yeah you can come up we're in the back like funny videos oh okay yeah we have we have some

blunts well hey you know what fuck you yeah fuck you man all right hey we're kdk prank calls all

all right kdk prank calls.com we we invented prank calls we're the pioneers yeah like how did y'all

get the that was like what got me i have a i have a i bought this thing in the 80s at a flea market

a swap shop and it yeah it lets you put in your cid you can say just type it in and we're so

extreme dude that when we make prank calls we actually get hired at the place yeah we have the

We have the number two phone hacker in the country.

That's what Brad does.

Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep undercover.

Yeah, we have the number two phone hacker in the country.

He's right after me.

I was pretty sick, man.

I'm amazing.

I mean, I'm a freaking teenager.

Oh, wow.

You're in high school still?

That's a humble brag right there.

I like it.

You're in high school still?

No, I just moved here from Kansas, bro.

And I work here.

And I just moved here from Kansas for college.

Oh, wow.

and like yeah like this is your boy bro in town back home your shelter yeah yeah that's that's

crazy so i have i mean how what's how what do you think of town here in town well how do you like

the women with the coups what do you mean you begin any i mean guys girls so whatever you get

into all right let me kind of grow that yeah like they were like they're like you know when you

like your mom exactly what they look like yeah they they watch like a lot of um they watch a

a lot of animals have sex, so

they're very free-spirited

from the young age.

You're frisky.

Alright, hey man, you need to get back to work, alright?

I mean, you can fold clothes, right?

Do you fold clothes like a girl, really?

Do you have to fold clothes?

I have to.

Hey, alright, here's another question for you.

Is it gay to drink cranberry juice and vodka?

I mean, you're like helping out your joints

and you're getting buzzed.

Matt doesn't trust you.

Yeah, it's good for my kidneys, too.

My periods. Alright, well, thanks, man.

Hey, be safe, alright man

Hey, Mr. Cross

Yeah man, like I said man, I really appreciate you guys

You guys just sparked up my night

Made it a little bit better man

Let's mark a blunt

I get what the thing is with it being

Cosmopolitan, but

Even before knowing

It was cosmopolitan, I know dudes

That just drank vodka cranberry forever

Alright, so we're good

It was just like a divy bar thing

Like old dudes doing shit

You know

I thought it was...

Hey, man. We'll let you go. See you later, buddy.

God bless.

Y'all have a great night. Be safe, man.

Love you, bro.

Nice guy.

Let's check back in.

We've been fucking with a few people for Bath & Body Works.

Let's check back in here.

I'm supposed to end the show at 10 in about six minutes.

If I don't, the wife's going to be angry

because she wants to be in here

watching her fucking bullshit

with the fucking bullshit dog that I never fucking wanted.

Yeah, how's your dog?

Motherfucker, he bit the shit out of me today.

No, he did not today, yesterday.

Just drive him somewhere, man.

XYZ said he was going to do it after school.

Or did they put a chip in the name?

That's a lie.

Monday through Saturday, and 11 to 6.

Movie nights canceled, I heard, this weekend.

Ooh, you guys do movie nights?

How do you guys do it on that cenotaph?

Rabbit.

Oh, is that what it was?

You get to give that rabbit.

Thank you for calling Bath & Body Works.

How can I help you?

Yeah, hi, listen.

Listen, I'm here at the BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse here at the mall.

We've been receiving, like, we received two calls, I guess,

from someone saying that you received several of our boxes of meat or something.

And what's going on?

Okay, so I don't know who is calling, like, every store.

We've already had two people call saying that somebody called them,

but we have not made any phone calls.

Okay, because I was...

Do you know the name of this person?

I was expecting this delivery, you know?

I was expecting this delivery, and I need to get it inside,

but you need to give us a chance to get down there.

We're busy.

We're in the weeds right now.

We're low on meat, and I'm happy.

We're needing this meat delivered here to be able to get through the weekend.

I'm fortunate that you have it there.

Please don't throw it out or give it out or whatever.

The guy said he was going to pour bleach on it.

Who was that?

Why?

I have no idea.

We don't have any guy working here.

Here it's just me and another girl, so we have no idea who's calling.

There's just a pussy there.

What?

There's just pussy there, just fish floating around.

You can actually hear the wind whistling through the ears there.

There goes another one.

Come on, ladies.

Seriously, what's going on here?

Can you put some...

So you're saying you didn't make these calls?

I didn't make these calls.

I love that.

You can just hear them.

What?

From the mall office.

Huh?

Does the mall office have a door?

You could have just got creepy and just been like, oh, so it's just ladies there.

You're there all load in the store right now.

You're telling me there's no man to protect you.

I'll be right there.

What time do you guys get out?

It's going to be the perfect night.

What exit do you guys use?

Yeah.

What time do you walk out the door?

What time do you guys get off?

Are you going to be walking to the parking garage alone?

Do any of you have concealed weapons permanently?

how do you how do you girls feel about conceit conceit old carry purpose

they're pretty lame right girls and like reckless did when you someone done took off with my gas

can yeah from town yeah did that one call he did great it went man when you can't call 9-1-1

because i don't know the number this is gonna be the perfect night in this town yeah that's an old

call that our buddy here, Reckless,

he's reminding us that he did.

That was a great call, Reckless. Good work on that, man.

Classic call. That was called

The Perfect Night, I think is the name of that.

We'll play that when we end the show here

in like three minutes. We'll play out with that.

I'm out of ideas, guys. I'm going to

wrap it up, guys. I have to wrap it up.

I have to wrap it up.

I have responsibilities.

XYZ After Show.

XYZ After Show, everyone. Be sure to tune in.

XYZ Show. XYZ.

Check them out on Gort. XYZ Show on Gort.

He said he's going to be going for

For like eight hours.

Firmus said that he was going to do.

On the show with me.

For the whole eight hours as well.

Okay let's do it.

I want to equally thank all of you who joined and helped.

I'm not going to go through all of you.

Because this isn't the Milkman show.

Sitting here ten minutes with an outro.

Getting out of here.

So thank you everyone who helped out.

All of you guys.

You can all say something right now.

Crude, rude.

You can dox me right now.

Sexual favors.

Are we out on our asses?

You guys are out on your asses.

See you, guys.

Bye.

Discord.gg for slash pranks.

Cheers.

I'm a sexual pervert.

Discord.gg for slash pranks.

Party time show.

Run by the drum.

Thanks for having me on, Carlito.

I touched myself at night.

Party time show.com.

There you go.

I love those guys.

Those are my friends, guys.

They're nice guys.

I really am fortunate to have them and you guys as listeners and fans of mine, even the

enemies.

God bless you.

You know, whatever.

I mean, you're here for a purpose also.

Gotta put you in my life for a purpose, I'm sure.

I don't know what it is yet, but we'll figure it out together.

MadHouseLife.com, also Patreon.com slash MadHouse.

If you want to get a copy of this show as soon as it's done,

you don't have to worry about me editing it,

because I am behind with the editing.

But that way you don't have to wait.

I'm just one show behind, this will be two.

But you can get a free copy of this via Dropbox Invite

if you donate at least $1 on Patreon.com slash MadHouse.

yeah five dollar donation gives you grants you horse level status and you get access to a discord

chat server that nobody uses yeah uh also be sure to listen tomorrow for a possible show from dwight

mcclanahan live from the hospital i hope that works out i hope we can understand what he's saying

he uh was very lucky he had a stroke but apparently he's uh talking normal and

And he just lost some sensitivity

On one side of the body

I'm sure he'll bring you guys all up to it tomorrow night

Hopefully, I'll be around

I'll be sure he can connect here at the hospital

Don't worry about him, he's fine

I got a new update

He's fine, motherfucker

He didn't die

Fucking Dwight didn't die

Motherfucker

It didn't work

I've been fraught with one

When my friends come, they mopperin' the alarm

When this one come, they like a

2-0-slut

I'm the London nation

Prank call nation

Calls (36, 1 h 51 min of 2 h 43 min)

Transcript

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