A Group of Like Minded Men
3 Feb 2018 · 54 min · 7,469 words · source
Calls (11, 40 min of 54 min)
- Kmart employee asked about permanent job live 2.4 min clip ↓
- Kmart group wants to move bathroom meetings live 5.8 min clip ↓
- Dick's Sporting Goods asked about restroom facilities live 3.2 min clip ↓
- Starbucks at Target contacted for group move live 2.6 min clip ↓
- Costco restroom inquiry prank live 3.6 min clip ↓
- Home Depot asked about drilling holes in restroom ivr 3.6 min clip ↓
- Bed Bath and Beyond wedding registry live 1.1 min clip ↓
- Kmart restroom inquiry about cruising live 5.6 min clip ↓
- Clarion Inn airport reservation line ivr 5.2 min clip ↓
- Red Roof Inn Grand Rapids toilet sheets live 4.5 min clip ↓
- Staples bathroom mouse in toilet live 2.7 min clip ↓
Transcript
I'm in the streets listening to Madhouse Live.
I hope my speech can compete with that bad mouth style that we get from Carlito.
That's my big amigo.
So just kick back to listen to this cat call people when this show goes live.
I be like, damn, this shit's bitchin'.
Stop whatever I'm doing to tune in and listen.
Where you at?
You can catch me in the back of his home at Horse Machine Ranch Road.
I'm busting mad fat flows for assholes and banchos.
Must be crazy.
Shout out to Big Amy.
That's nice, honey baby.
We kissing pussy, so ladies such a labor.
Yeah, it's crazy.
You have the stuff that my bruh might say to ya
Face it, cause it's the number one prank cast
Stay back if you can't handle all the straight laughs
That we hand to your dome
And if you want, call the number
You can listen to this show on the go
Big up to the man in the madhouse
Show love, just stick your motherfuckin' hands up
Some come close, but they can't get it right
Let the king do his thing, it's time for Madhouse Live
Big up to the man in the madhouse
Show love, just stick your motherfuckin' hands up
hey hello hi yeah i was just i was there and i saw you got a sign that says that um
uh okay you're hiring for the store closing the kmr closing yeah you have to go on yeah okay
so um when when how long is the term for um the store is closed in april 8th okay all right but
But if I do really good, if I do really good, maybe I can become permanent.
The store is closing for good April 8th.
Yeah, but I'm just saying, I know.
So I'll only get to work until April 8th at the latest, you're saying, for this position.
But if I do really good, like I come in early every day and I work overtime if you need it
and I'm really clean and I'm real meticulous in everything and I get some new clients to come in,
I can maybe get permanent?
You can't get permanent.
Oh, come on.
But can I talk to someone about it?
Yeah, but when are you open again?
I'll call then.
This is Alex speaking.
Hey, so I understand you guys have a position there.
And what I'm trying to explain is, so this is only for how many weeks?
Like four weeks, it looks like?
You're looking at about eight weeks.
Eight weeks?
All right, but if I'm really good, I'll come in early every day, you know,
and I'll work overtime.
If I do a really good job, I'm clean.
I do all my paperwork, and I'm really good, so customers keep coming in after that.
Can I maybe get permanent?
Like, there's always a chance, right?
I mean, if they were keeping the store open, certainly.
Yeah, but what time do you open?
We open at 9 a.m.
Oh, I can do that.
That's fine.
I'll do really good, and then I can come in when you guys open.
After the eight weeks, I become permanent, you know?
Like, I'll become a Sears holding employee, and I come in.
Well, the problem is they're shutting the store down.
Yeah, but then you always open up again.
No, not after April 8th.
Why?
They're getting rid of this location.
No.
Unfortunately.
Why?
Just weren't doing that great sales-wise.
No.
Oh, no.
You can always try at our sister's store over at Heater Hunter.
That's pretty far away.
What's the glory hole action like there?
Because this place is hot, you know?
Because there's barely anyone here.
Are any of the regulars from the bathroom,
room are they going to be down or could be going down there have a good day yeah right drive all
the way to kmart yeah i'll pass the five targets on the way make sure i go to that kmart rest in
peace local kmart machine you motherfucker you ugly motherfucker you piece of shit smelling like
piss fucking store i get so fucking mad at the kmart's they get what they get is what i say
And I could go off on the whole situation, but we need to do motherfucking calls.
Attention all units. Attention all units. This is Sergeant Stadenko.
Attention all units. This is Sergeant Stadenko.
They're changing from a code 3 direct pursuit to a code 347.
They lost.
Hi. Thanks for calling.
I was supposed to mute that. I never do it right.
Our normal store business hours are Monday through Saturday.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Sorry, that response is invalid.
Store main menu.
For the pharmacy or to refill a prescription, press 1.
No.
Electronics, press 2.
No.
The photo lab, press 3.
To speak to the store operator, press 0.
Yeah.
Or please wait.
Hi, who am I talking to?
You are speaking with Kaylee.
Oh, hey, big K.
I love, is that with a K?
Yep.
I love, I love names that start with K. Yay.
Um, speaking of K, um, I had the local, uh, in crowd at the Kmart bathroom, the Kmart, uh, that's closing down in April.
Okay.
So we were thinking about transferring our, our group over to your, uh, facilities over there.
Um, we're a group of like-minded men that meet regularly at the Kmart here in town.
that's going to be closing in april because they're closing the stores they're closing that's
one of the one that's closing and we have a a group of like-minded men and we have a kind of
little community and we meet together you know we discuss and trade uh things uh and we wanted to
start doing this at your store instead you know but before we just come barging in using the
bathrooms we wanted to get some information um do you can we go down there and take some measurements
Wanted tickets here?
Yeah, yeah, because the Kmart restrooms are going to be shut down,
and we wanted to find a new place,
and I guess your location came up on our short list of contenders.
I mean, we'll patronize you guys.
You have a Starbucks there.
We'll buy a coffee.
We'll have a rule.
You have to buy at least one coffee before you hang out in the bathroom for every 30 minutes.
Yeah, so I'm just the operator.
So I really wouldn't be able to go there because I'm just the operator,
But I can definitely transfer you over to someone who can, if that would be good.
Sure.
Who am I?
Is this a manager, supervisor, manager on duty, MOD?
Yeah, it'd be a manager on duty.
Let's go.
Let's go.
All right.
All right, honey.
One second.
Bye, honey, baby.
Bye.
Don't think she's transferring us.
Oh, maybe she is.
Hey, for all this, this is Eric.
Can I help you find something?
Hey, Big Eric.
My name is Cross, and I head the local group at the Kmart that's going to be closing down.
Okay.
The Guys Club.
and we were your location comes up on the short list of contenders for us to move our gatherings
to so we just wanted to see if we could uh just talk maybe just sit the ground rules of stuff and
maybe we can have uh we'd like to do a site survey of your facilities there to see if it would meet
our needs it was was it regarding a kmart closing yeah kmart's closing the kmart that we use for our
club is closing and we're a group of like-minded men who meet and trade on a regular basis at the
kmarts and we were going through possible contender sites for us to move our club to
for our gatherings and your club congratulations is on the short list and we are we are good
customers also we know we always we have a rule you have to buy at least you know one thing there
before you leave for every 30 minutes that you're in the facilities in the restroom and that's to
stay on the good side of management okay uh is this a prank call no not no sir not at all see
you don't understand that the kmart has been dead for like 10 years okay so we worked out an
arrangement with the store manager there and we said our look we're coming here anyway we're
meeting in the bathroom for consensual you know so we this is totally plausible why would kmart
not look at this as a revenue stream they should have just turned into fucking bathhouses i don't
know if it's true or not i just know every camera that i've gone to there's a ton of graffiti and
holes in the fucking walls and i don't want to take a shit in one because there's fucking holes
in the fucking walls you know what i mean i don't have a fucking store have some guys sitting there
watching me take a shit, so I just piss.
8 a.m. to 11 p.m.
and Sunday, 8 a.m. to
10 p.m. It's located at
the southwest corner of
the Dallas Freeway.
For the pharmacy or to refill a prescription,
press 1. Electronics,
press 2. The phone
holds while your call is transferred.
And they smell like old spunk.
Calling Dick's Sporting Goods.
For store hours, press 1.
For directions to the stores,
press 2. To speak with an
associate press zero for inquiries about in-store merchandise availability please visit hi thank
you for calling dick sporting goods how can i help you yes hi my name is cross and i'm the leader of
the local group here at the kmart that's going to be closing in april uh we're a group of like-minded
gentlemen who meet on a regular basis and we patronize the store and we were looking to move
our group uh to a new location since this location is closing the corporate office is
closing this location um and uh congratulations you came up on the short list from the members
on the forum poll uh for where to for us to move our our group to use your facilities for our group
probably something to do with the name of the store to be honest with you okay um so what
exactly are you doing well can i get some information about your restrooms are they
stalls or is it a single um a single unit single commode in a room uh do you just want to talk
to your manager real quick well i mean you know you've used the restrooms there right you can
just tell me i'm just taking this down for some notes we're going to get ready i need to know
this oh yeah but i'm also i'm also uh kind of running around right now i just grabbed the phone
because it was ringing um and there's a manager available to answer questions right at the moment
so i can just get them real quick because i was helping somebody out well they're available of
course of course yep no problem one minute thank you action for sports to guide inform and inspire
fire all of our customers if you'd like to join the most passionate and driven team in sports
visit dicksportinggoods.jobs dicksportinggoods this is jim hey big jim how you doing i'm doing
well and yourself okay i guess i'll have to explain this whole thing again or did he bring
you up to speed uh please explain to me what's going on all right my name is cross i'm the leader
uh the head of the local group that meets at the kmart that's going to be closing down
here in town okay they're closing 123 stores or something anyway this is one of them and we're a
group of like-minded men who meet to socialize and trade things um and uh here at the kmr and
the facilities here at the kmr and since they're going out of business we are uh you're kind of
scoping out the local area for contender locations to move to and congratulations your group came up
up on the short list and i think it has something to do with the name of the store possibly that
being said have a good day sir sir no this is a serious inquiry please sir i'm a big fan please
hang on oh how's music i don't want to hear that song again i don't want to hear this
i think it has something to do with the name of the store i said that's what i said
hey how you doing good how are you hey good the starbucks at the target gave me uh
give me a shout out to give you guys a call okay you know the target's like
like within walking distance across the way yeah yeah okay they told me to give you guys a call
all that you can help me out uh my name is cross and i'm the head of the uh group the fan group
that meets here at the kmart when this kmart is going to be closing down it's going out of
business they're having a go ahead hold on where the starbucks like you're on 28 28 28 yeah that's
what i'm saying okay what kmart are you talking about uh the one here in town there's one kmart
left open in town it's closing down oh i don't even know that okay well you know yeah that's
That's the whole thing.
That's why they're closing down.
You see?
Get it?
All right.
So anyway, that kind of leads into this.
We need to move our group, our meetings, to a new location.
And congratulations, your site came up on the shortlist of contender retailers for us to move to.
So we just wanted to get some information about your restrooms there, the facilities of the bathrooms, to see if they meet our requirements.
What group is this?
We're just a group.
We're a group of like-minded gentlemen that meet here on a regular basis to discuss topics and trade things and network.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I understand you have unisex bathrooms there?
Yes.
We have two bathrooms.
All right.
Excellent.
Two bathrooms.
All right.
And what is the time limit in the bathroom?
I don't know what that means.
Like what's the longest that two men can be in there together?
Is this a prank call?
No, absolutely not.
No, we're the Glory Hole Foundation.
We're the Glory Health Foundation.
Okay.
Well, what else do you need?
Well, is there a power outlet inside the bathroom?
I have no idea.
Okay.
All right.
Can you find out?
Do you know anyone, any of the staff that might know or can go check?
Chad, really bad line.
Serve power out.
I'd like to drill a hole through the wall of the one bathroom and the other.
I smoke the weed of the scum
Trade top of the truck
Moosh I drunk and muck
Try calling them again
No answer
They know Reiki
The Indian
The soul
Manhattan
To the white man
My grandfather
Knock right the fuck out
Come to the cookout
Dirty bitch
At the mouth
The warehouse is open for all members
Monday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 8.30 p.m.
It's Costco. We're assholes.
Costco Wholesale?
Hey, how you doing?
I'm good, thanks. How are you?
Oh, not too good.
I had the group of gentlemen
that meets on a regular basis here at the Kmart,
which is actually going to be closing its doors
here in April.
roll we'd like to your uh location came up on a short list of contender sites for us to move our
groups to to use your facilities visit them so just wanted to get some information on your wrap
your bathroom accessibility sir just a moment please okay that is a lot of shit i'm throwing
at a group of like-minded men i sound i sound like the representative of the local green party
or something the town i lived in when i went to college uh the ihop had the local green party
used to meet at the IHOP every week, once a week.
They're fucking stupid.
I'm sorry about that.
Sir, we are a members-only warehouse.
Well, exactly, yeah, and that's why you guys came up on our shortlist,
because we're thinking we might be able to...
Are you all right there?
You got sniffles or something?
You're breathing into the phone?
What's going on?
I was zipping up a zipper on a case.
I'm sorry.
Zip it back down.
I like to play with zippers.
Like, I like to unzip and zip them really fast.
I like to do that.
I apologize, but we are closed for the day.
Is there something that I could really help you with?
Yeah, bull crap, first of all.
Second of all, yes.
We'd like to see if we can get some information about the restrooms there.
We have restrooms here, yes, sir.
Are they stalls, or are they just like one commode in a room?
That, sir, I've never been in our men's restroom.
I apologize, but I believe there are stalls.
Okay, well, I mean, you're in the women's restroom.
I'm sure it's the same, right?
Yes, there are stalls in the women's restroom.
Okay, good.
Good. No urinals, I'm presuming, in the women's restroom.
No, sir.
We'll have to pass on that part of the form for now.
Okay. Is there an electric outlet that we can use for drilling purposes?
No.
In the bathroom?
No.
Okay. What kind of material separates the dividers?
Are the dividers in the stalls made out of, is it plastic or is it a metal, aluminum frame?
It is metal.
Okay. All right.
So we should be able to get through that with a little skill saw.
saw i don't i think we can get away without having to get the power all right um if well then how do
the toilets flush is there a way to tap into the power that the toilets use to flush no sir okay
i mean we could use steam power maybe i don't know are you the person i should talk to i mean
we'll all get memberships we'll be paying member members and we have a rule that for every 30
minutes you're in the bathroom you need to buy something at least one thing whether it be a soda
I guess in your case
like a whole fucking
box of soda right
have a nice day sir
yeah
whatever
fucking Costco
big ass bitches
she was just
she was just
annoying
now Home Depot
you know they got
some power
they gotta have
some power
in their bathrooms
I was going to start out asking, do you have power outlets in your bathrooms?
Big Fat Costco.
Maybe that'll be the title of the show.
Probably forget it.
For store hours and directions, press 1.
Nope.
If you know the three-digit extension of the person you are trying to reach, press 2.
If you speak to an associate in one of our store departments, press 3.
Thank you for calling the Home Depot.
Your call is...
Thank you for calling.
At Home Depot, this is Chris at the service desk.
How can I direct your call?
Yes, I was calling about bathroom.
Bathroom?
The toilet machines.
What are you looking for?
Yeah, do they have power outlets there?
Is there a power outlet that can be used?
Power outlets here?
Yes, at the bathroom.
I'm not sure.
Give me just one second.
Do you do work for Home Depot?
Yes.
All right, give me just one second.
I need to drill a hole into the dividers.
Okay, one sec.
Thanks.
It doesn't sound like we do.
Okay.
Can I bring in a power source to use then?
or do you have a really long extension cable i just need to drill a hole through a few of the
the dividers and the stalls yeah let me send you the mod real quick okay let's go thank you for
calling home depot this is terry how can i help you oh yeah hi terry i'm calling because i need
to find out if you have any power source that i can plug into or maybe i can plug a long extension
to get power into the men's restroom are you working in the men's restroom uh i will be okay
Okay, what company are you with?
I'm with Cross and Associates.
Okay, and is there a work order or something for the bathroom?
We're a subcontractor from Glory Hole Foundation.
Okay, but I'm just saying what's going on in the bathrooms?
Is there something broken?
We have an order to drill three holes in between,
it looks like three dividers in the men's room, three of the stall dividers.
I'm sure if you guys have an extension cord,
I mean right around the corner is an office where you could plug a cord in.
Okay. All right. Good.
Yeah. I don't know if there's a power supply right in the men's bathroom, but right next to the men's bathroom is an office.
Okay. All right. Are the men's and women's adjacent to each other? Are they separated by a single wall?
Yes, they are.
All right.
No, they're next to each other.
Okay. We're going to drill a hole in between the men's room and the ladies' room also in the one end where the handicapped stall is.
Okay.
Okay. And we're going to be inserting a monitoring device in between.
A monitoring device?
Yes.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Just check in.
Are you guys here right now?
We're in the parking lot.
We're getting ready.
Okay, just check in when you get here.
Okay, all right.
When you get here, just stop at the service desk and have them call the manager.
All right, and we also have a Wi-Fi wireless router that we're going to be installing,
a Cisco 2900 wireless router that we're going to be installing in there
so that we can get wireless connectivity to the monitoring device,
the camera device that's going in there, and the wall, okay?
All right.
All right, okay.
Okay, and I should ask for you?
Yep, I'm Terry.
All right, Big Terry.
We'll see you soon, honey.
Thank you.
Bye.
29 partitions.
Thank you, Nashby.
You would know.
Thank you, Nashby.
Nashby checking in from the actual Glory Hole Foundation.
Thank you, sir.
We're going to be putting in a Link Ski router, everybody.
Yeah.
La, la, la.
Bo, bo, bo, bo.
All right, I'm back.
I'm back.
I'm back.
I'm back.
My bad.
My bad.
My bad.
Anyway, hey, she's like, yeah, sure, come on, do what you want.
Install anything you want, do anything you want.
I've got to find a fucking store.
Shit, I mean, I guess at Home Depot, they just get contracts coming in all the time.
Cheating the store.
This is all the time it's going to be.
Oh, yeah, yeah, you've got to drill a hole in here.
If you would like to hear our store hours, press 1.
If you would like to hear our store location, press 2.
Two, if you are calling about the status of a shipment, press three.
If you would like to speak with a store associate, press zero.
Four additional instances.
We're calling the best and beyond where we specialize in wedding and gift registries.
This is Katniss speaking.
What?
Hello?
What did you say?
We're calling the best and beyond where we specialize in wedding and gift registries.
This is Katniss speaking.
How may I direct your call?
Your name is Katniss?
Yes, sir.
Have a good day.
Okay, sure.
All right, yeah, I'm calling from the Glory Hall Foundation.
Foundation, we're going to be moving our group sessions to the Bed, Bath, and Beyond
because the Kmart that we use right now, their facilities are going to be closing permanently.
They're closing the store.
It's going out of business.
I'll take with our LOD because I don't have any information on our property right now, okay?
All right.
Bye, Katniss.
Bye.
I'm going to pass you right on, okay?
Thank you.
She never gets tired of that.
Katniss.
Really?
Okay, so when did the Hunger Games books come out?
is it possible that they have she has some really nerdy ass fucking parents or mom at least when do
the books come out let's do the math here i know the movies were like in last 10 years or so eight
to ten uh the novels the first one was in 08 so she would be 10 years old no it can't be i never
heard of that outside of i never heard of that name outside of the hunk games i don't know what
else to do other than the whistle i saw the first two and then at the end of the second one i stood
it up and i looked around and i noticed i was the oldest person in the whole theater and this is a
big theater one of the big stadium ones and the music that was playing at the credits i had no
idea who it was i hated it because it sounded like crap and i realized i was in over my head
way too old to be there and i got the fuck out hello hello this is bob how can i help you hey
baba i'm calling because we're going to be moving our our meetings to this location here to your
your facility since the kmart's going to be closing um so we wanted to get some information
about the restrooms there okay first can i ask who's calling and what this is inquiring about
my name is cross i'm with gh foundation and we're a group of like-minded men that meets on a regular
basis currently in the kmart uh but as we all know the kmart unfortunately is going out of business
it's closing on april 8th so we're your location congratulations is currently on the short list of
sites for us to move our meetings to.
We're a group, like I said, of like-minded men
who meet. We network and
trade things and
talk about certain
subjects, ask questions.
I'm afraid there's not any meeting space
to meet in. We just see the
restroom. Oh, okay.
Well, that's
something I haven't heard of.
How many stalls
do you have in the men's room?
Two stalls and one urinal.
One stall is a
handicap accessible yes it is uh with another one and with another one standard size next to it and
then i'm presuming the urinal there and then it goes to sinks correct after that correct there
are two sinks okay uh two doors to enter the men's room or just one a single door single door okay
all right good good all right is there a sink inside the handicap stall there is not there is
There's none, okay?
That's one against you guys.
It's good to use that to make a little bit of background noise,
a little bit of white noise, you know?
Okay, do you have a power outlet inside the men's room that we can use to drill with?
I do not believe so.
Okay.
Is there a nearby outlet we can use a long industrial extension cord to connect the drill?
We just need to make one hole in between the two stalls.
I don't believe that would be something we'd have you do.
No.
All right, because, I mean, I can bring in another kind of power source.
Is it a plastic polymer kind of divider, partitioning, or metal?
I don't think we're going to have you guys do anything to the dividers.
They're going to stay the way they are.
I mean, we're really quick.
You guys honestly probably won't even know.
I'm sorry.
This is something you want to speak with the store manager about.
He's in tomorrow if you'd like to give him a call.
Well, we kind of don't want to get management entanglements with this.
I mean, we'll patronize the store.
I mean, we have a rule.
Every 30 minutes you spend inside the restroom, you do have to buy at least one item, at least a soda or a pack of gum.
Again, this is something you want to speak with the store manager about.
This is something that I would not be okay with at all, especially not having his okay.
Well, hey, look, man.
Hey, look, if there's already another group here that meets, we don't want to encroach on anyone.
We don't want any beef.
All right, so just let me know now ahead of time, and I'll just roll.
I don't think we have any meetings in the bathroom other than just regular restroom breaks.
I don't believe we have any meetings.
Is there a rival group here that meets?
If there's a rival group that meets here that hooks up in the bathroom,
then we won't come in here to hook up.
No, I don't believe there's anybody that meets in the bathroom.
I think that that is something that is a little bit unusual,
and I haven't heard of such a thing, and we don't have anybody that does that here.
Well, it's called cruising, sir, gay cruising.
Okay.
I'm sorry, I'm not familiar.
Okay.
All right, well, now you are.
It's a thing.
I am.
It's a thing.
Okay.
Okay, and it's been a thing at the Kmart for 20 years, but guess what?
Going out of business, so it's gone now.
What about Walmart?
Kmart, they've got plenty of space.
No, they don't like us there.
We tried.
They've got too much security.
They don't have an actual door there.
You just kind of walk in.
And it's too much high traffic.
That's why Kmart works so well.
There was like the whole store was dead, so there never was anyone there.
No one ever cared.
The staff knew.
Some of them are regular.
Some of them are members.
Gotcha.
Well, I don't think that's something that you'll be doing here.
I'm sorry to hear about that.
I'm going to have to let you go now.
But I'll defer to the manager, the supervisor or whatever, the store manager.
Give him a call tomorrow
Okay it's a hem
Would he be friendly
Is he
Where does
What side of the spectrum
He will let you know
Exactly what he thinks
Alright
Okay
I'll let you know that
Alright honey baby
What was your name Bob
My name was Bob
And please do not refer to me
As honey baby
Honey baby sweetie
I'm gonna suck your dick
I'm gonna suck it right off of you
I'm gonna suck the pants off of you
I'm gonna get my hands
All over your macadamia nuts
If you know what I mean
Observe the magnetic attraction
As we breathe
Seeds of MC's
It beats faith
Suck your dick off.
Wow.
Wow.
Don't call me honey baby, sir.
Shot in a major tinnitus.
I hope he's okay.
Or is she?
sheet hang in there big guy or girl what to do next close that don't need that anymore don't
need that all right uh here is a hotel so i'm gonna do it right here i'm gonna look first of
all to see how many floors this motherfucking hotel's got using the googles oh shit people
took pictures of the insides yeah maybe maybe get a room number yeah suckers i don't know that it
works like that. Sorry, folks. Just trying something
here. I got an idea. I'm going to try to do this
right this time. They're all
interior pictures. Damn it, man.
Killing
me.
It's a little hard.
That's what she said.
I think it's a one-floor
one.
Yeah, it's definitely a single-floor.
Okay, all right. Single-floor, single-floor.
Yeah, they got
Steakhouse in the lobby
That's what I'm saying
Oh Osaka
Fuck yeah
You know what's up with that
Fucking hibachi stuff right
That's good shit
Enough jerking around
Let's do it
We're gonna flush shit down the toilet
Let's get the echo going here
Echo
Nope
Run one
Run one
Oh
I think it's
Echo
Echo
Yeah
Yeah, this is probably too loud.
So we're going to bring it down here like that.
We're going to bring the volume down like that.
All right, here we go.
This mixture is like on the fritz.
Got a bad mixture.
I don't imagine the hotel's bathroom in a room.
It's like, well, fuck it.
Thank you for calling the Clarion Inn and Suites for reservation.
service please press one for the front desk or all other inquiries please press two okay
dwight big dwight you're showing that we're going the clarion this is kelly how can i help you
hi kelly uh we got a problem here i'm uh trying to flush down the sheets down the toilet and
they're halfway in halfway out now there's water everywhere i'm sorry you're trying to flush the
sheets down the toilet hang on hey keep flushing just what room are you in keep keep flushing it
And she said to keep flushing.
All right.
Yeah, because, I don't know, I guess.
There's water going everywhere.
It's everywhere.
Yeah, it's everywhere.
What room are you in?
Where are you?
I mean, we're in the hotel.
We're on the first floor.
Yeah, I need to know the room number so I can send my maintenance right now.
I'd have to go outside of it.
I'm going to get water up to my, you know.
I got to have the room number so I can send my maintenance guy down right now.
Give me a second.
we're going to try to finish
keep flushing
what's your last name
what is your last name
whose name is it in
look we don't know the name of the guy
we just hooked up
we hooked up and he went out to get some
Chinese and
we got like a lot of stuff
on the bed
you're going to have to peek outside the room
and give me the number please
I got to get my maintenance man down there
you can probably see the water coming out the door
Or maybe you can just send the guy.
I don't know.
I gotta have the room number, sir.
I can't help you if I don't have the room number.
We're just gonna keep flushing the sheets.
I mean, you don't know the name of the person you were with?
We're gonna keep flushing the sheets, and forget it.
We got it.
We'll figure it out.
Don't worry about it.
We'll figure it out.
I think it's...
I think it's...
Now you snitching on the squad.
Snitches what?
What do you think it is, lady?
You don't know what you're talking about, Christy Lady.
So I see no need to mention the vocancy of a sting from a killer bee.
kicking the battery out the love flushing the toilet everybody
unfortunately this one the units are facing the inside so i can see it's a two-story one
this is what we got to do as a community we get to find hotels that face outside and see if we
get the numbers this one was good this is a motel six and the loop actually google went into the
the loop with the car so you can actually see right up but there's no room numbers because
and i gotta take a pp thank you for calling the clarion inn and suites airport in
for reservations please press one i think it's two
it's not my bad if not we're going to play something like piss
thank you for calling clarion marcia speaking how can i help you hi hi how can i help you
i'm in the bathroom right now i just walked out of the bathroom hello are you there are you there
i'm here okay uh we're having a problem with the toilet there's a okay i need your room number
there's a pair of bed sheets there's a pair of bed sheets inside the toilet right now and we
keep flushing okay and there's water everywhere well i just need your room number it starts with
a one did i just talk to you no i need your room number if we're gonna help you otherwise i'm gonna
hang up do you understand the situation though what's going on well i need a room number it's
or i'm not gonna help you okay but i mean if you don't help me then we can't stop flushing the
toilet and we can't stop the water from getting all over here and we're not responsible what is
is your room number one zero and there's another number after that but i first want to make sure
that we have exoneration i'm hanging up now why why i don't know i don't think i called
motel six everybody but anyway i gotta take that piss i'll be right back
hong kong everybody i'm back sorry about the wait oh damn anyway i can't go on that much
much longer because i was going to do a little bit longer but here's the deal i wanted to make
an appearance on dwight mcclanahan the show today and also i've got calls of mass confusion we're
going to be wrapping up soon production uh filming rather and print we're going to go into a post
production on the season uh regardless that's going to start at 8 6 30 now and uh in between
there i need to walk the dog and feed the dog and masturbate the dog and feed the cats and feed
eating myself because i'm on a diet again i've lost 16 pounds according to my fitness pal
according to my scale i weigh myself at the same time every day wearing the same exact thing nothing
i just have one cup of coffee and i sit in the toilet and i push all the shit out that i can
and i weigh myself i'm doing good that being said
i get hungry and i'm past my time and i do a i do intermittent fasting i only eat in an
eight-hour window and that will expire i go into you later so let's just do a few more calls and
call it a late afternoon early evening okay let's call the motel eight that i wanted to call
We'll do another, you know, shit-in-the-toilet call.
This motherfucker not have a phone?
Bitch motherfucker.
We'll call somewhere else then.
Fine.
Give me another hotel there, computer.
All right, here we go.
Now we have the phone number.
Good.
Thank you for calling the Red Roof Inn of Grand Rapids, Michigan.
To reach a guest, please press 1.
For a new reservation, press 2.
To change an existing reservation, please press 3.
Yeah, I can't stay on too much longer because Homer's been locked up.
He needs to come out of his crate.
He has to pee-pee.
Poor guy.
I came out to go pee, and he saw me.
He started going,
Thank you for calling Red Roof Day.
How may I help you?
Yeah, hi.
I was here to have a problem here.
We're in the bathroom, and we have a set.
We have sheets, a pair of sheets, in the toilet.
they're like half in and half out we've been trying to flush them and there's
water all over the place and you can't get them to go down and at this point
we've been trying to pull on it also they won't come out either well I mean
they got they got messed up they got messed up and we wanted to just kind of
clean them and then it became from cleaning to disposing of them and this
is kind of like the fats in the fire situation now so we're kind of just here
Keep flushing. He said keep flushing the toilet. Keep flushing it.
I did not say that. Do not keep flushing the toilet.
He said keep flushing. I told him.
So I think eventually if we keep flushing, I mean there's going to be a lot of water on the ground, but they'll go through.
Do not keep flushing. What room are you in? Hang on.
He said try flushing it the other way. Like that, yeah.
Alright, they moved a little bit.
Oh, what room are you in?
So why did he hang up?
To go run and find out what's going on?
Thank you for calling.
The red roof in.
It's f***ing cold.
Yeah, hi.
We got disconnected.
What room are you in?
Uh, 201.
Hello?
I don't have any maintenance here.
So unfortunately, I mean, there's not much I can do other than move into a different room.
I don't know why you would try to flush sheets down the toilet to begin with.
Well, like I said, we have to get them through.
The problem is the water.
I don't care about the sheets.
You just need to get the water out of here.
But every time we flush...
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You're the one who chose to flush the seats.
No, no.
Where's your maintenance?
We don't have maintenance 24-7.
Well, we went around looking for, like, maintenance, maintenance.
No one came, so that's not our problem.
That is your problem.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
Thank you for calling the Red Roof Inn of Grand Rapids, Michigan.
To reach a guest, one, for a new resume.
Please hold.
See, when I hit one, that's what it does.
Whoa.
I think he is the guy in the automated message.
Okay, I'm back.
I'm paying attention.
I get distracted really easy, guys.
Thank you for calling Staples.
We're here to help you make more happen for less today and every day.
Hello, and thanks for calling Staples for 28th Street.
My name is Megan.
How may I help you?
Hi.
I'm in the bathroom, and there's a...
There's a...
Oh, boy.
How do I explain this?
There's a mouse, like a computer mouse, you know, that you have on the shelves.
Mm-hmm.
It's in the toilet, and I've been trying to flush it down, but it's, like, halfway in,
halfway out, and there's water all over the place.
We will get someone back there if there's any of these situations.
Okay, but I need you to stay on the line with me, please.
Sir, what was that?
I need you to stay on the line with me.
Okay.
Okay, and send someone now.
Get on the radio and send them.
I'm going to put you on hold for a few seconds.
How should I flush this?
Okay.
Hold on for one second.
Okay, sir, the phone's not going to be hung up.
It's going to be on hold, okay?
Okay.
Well, this is a fucking house ad?
Hello?
Yeah, someone will be back there as soon as they can be.
We're all a little tied up right now, unfortunately,
due to being short-staffed and having lots of customers that need help.
well god damn it we'll be back there soon god damn it shit you know i i left i'm gone all right
motherfucker you but you took too fucking long you took fucking long you know and now there's
water all in the toilet now all over the toilet floor in the bathrooms we will handle it and
there's shit everywhere like the shit came out of the toilet from the pipes the bread came out
black water and shit and condoms came up and toilet papers and gummy we will handle the
there were gummy bears and fish coming up and tadpoles and frogs came up and lizards and snakes
and water moccasins and there was an indian guy there was an indian guy in there fishing
okay anything else you'd like to add sir your face anything else no that's it hey hey do you
you know what labia is labia bye bye bye bye bye i didn't i didn't i didn't join i didn't have
anyone join me make it yo well there's no answer here and the dog is crying and the skype doesn't
work and i'm in a bad mood now so i'm gonna just call it quits i want to thank everyone who tuned
in i want to thank everyone who tried to join and help out i want to thank all the people that i
pranked for being such great sports i want to remind everyone to tune in tonight at 10 p.m
eastern 7 p.m pacific for dwight mclanahan from the dwight mclanahan show he will be on at 10
p.m eastern he has great things planned for you guys and a special announcement be sure not to
miss it in the meantime i am carlitos signing out from prank call studios
the gospel was told some souls just follow home mentally
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