Girl Scout Cookie
7 Mar 2018 · 1 h 8 min · 9,492 words · source
Calls (12, 37 min of 1 h 8 min)
- Hampton Gardens resident about snow emergency live 2.7 min clip ↓
- Pleasant View Garden leasing specialist live 1.3 min clip ↓
- Snow removal complaint to leasing specialist live 1.1 min clip ↓
- Roof leak complaint to repair service live 1.5 min clip ↓
- Replaying voicemail of a caller playback 1.3 min clip ↓
- Apartment complex prank call live 34 s clip ↓
- Girl Scouts cookie complaint about harassment live 4.8 min clip ↓
- Girl Scouts asked for proof of purchase live 2.3 min clip ↓
- Girl Scouts of Northern California about marijuana cookies live 8.1 min clip ↓
- Girl Scouts of Western Washington about marijuana cookies live 4.5 min clip ↓
- Girl Scout cookie drug complaint live 3.8 min clip ↓
- Caller reports Girl Scout Cookies cannabis to school live 5.7 min clip ↓
Transcript
I'm in the streets listening to Madhouse Live
I hope my speech can compete with that bad mouth style
That we get from Carlito, that's my big amigo
So just kick back to listen to this cat call
People, when this show goes live
I'll be like, damn, this shit's bitchin'
Stop whatever I'm doin' to tune in and listen
You can catch me in the back of his home
At Horse Machine Ranch Road
I'm bustin' mad fat flows for assholes and banchos
I spit crazy, shout out to Big Amy
That's nice, honey, baby
We kissin' pussy, so ladies touch it, lady
It's crazy how the stuff that my bruh might say to ya
Face it cause it's the number one prank cast
Stay back if you can't handle all the straight laughs
That we hand to your dome
And if you want, call the number
You can listen to this show on the go
Big up to the man in the madhouse
You show love, you stick your motherfuckin' hands up
Some come close, but they can't get it right
Let the king do his thing, it's time for Madhouse Live
Big up to the man in the madhouse
for college apartments and townhouses thank you oh you're hearing yourself buddy i don't know man
i don't think i am now yeah because i was just fucking hacking on reefer and then i heard the
echo oh shit but i think it stopped it stopped good good good i'm glad you stopped just say no
hey hey everybody that was just that moment where it's like the song is starting and i don't even
even know who i'm calling or i don't even have a phone number yet that's what i just did pretty
stupid to me huh yep pretty stupid okay uh here here's another one how you doing there matt are
you getting any snow where you're at big guy i know it's sunny right now can't you see oh
you're not in the tiny i'm in tinychat.com slash zax intel wow sunny sunny zax
It was Blacks, Puerto Ricans, and white people, too.
Hello?
I'm sorry?
Yeah, hi.
Listen, what's the plan here with the snow?
Who am I speaking with?
My name is Cross, and I want to know what the plan is with the snow.
The plan where?
The contingency.
Yeah, the contingency plan to get the snow out of here.
What's the plan?
To get the snow out of where, sir?
Out of the apartments, around the apartments.
At which location?
Is she going to help us?
Yeah, are you going to help us?
Hampton Gardens.
gardens okay so you want to know what the plan is to get the snow out of hampton gardens yeah we
need to get the snow out of here this is stupid i understand i understand unfortunately right now
we are in a state of emergency so the plows are not going to be able to i'll say i'll say it's
an emergency there's snow everywhere in here i'm trying to i'm trying to walk to the dairy quick
i'm supposed to meet lysol to buy some weed and then i need to go to avalino's to pick up some
pizza for me and matt what why do i have to give you that because you want us to shovel your
You're a sidewalk, right?
So I want to know what apartment you're speaking of.
No, there's snow everywhere.
You see the shovel in general.
Damn you.
Again, and what apartment are you in?
12th.
Apartment 12th.
That's right, honey.
What's the plan?
Who are you talking to back there?
Who's paying in the office?
Are they getting the snow out of here or what?
Again, it is a state of emergency, so the New Jersey governor is not allowing for the plows to come out until the snow has stopped.
Once the snow has stopped, we will send somebody over.
Don't be lazy.
Nobody's being lazy.
You're being very disrespectful.
I'm sorry that you can't go out to get what you would like to get,
but if you would like to provide your own shovel and shovel your way out,
then you can go ahead.
No, it's for my medication.
I can't.
I'm sick.
We're both sick.
We're both on medication, and we need to go pick it up at the dairy quick.
Unfortunately, as I stated again, it is a state of emergency.
So if you would like to call the government, then that's fine.
Unfortunately.
You do sound like that stupid broad.
Why do you need plows?
Why don't you just come out and do it like the old-fashioned way with your hands?
Because she's lazy.
What are you doing there in your ivory tower?
Phone line dead.
Call clearing, guys.
Call clearing.
All right.
It's the start of the show.
Not a long show today because of Skype trouble.
I don't know if it's my making or Microsoft's Skype.
Slash Skype's making.
You can hear the...
Thank you for calling Communities Property.
Unfortunately, we are not able to take your call right now.
they choose not to take so there is this state of emergency in new jersey for snow i had no idea i
don't watch the news or i had no idea about it yeah well like i got the day off of work and
fucking oh okay there's no snow on the ground it's it's shifted it's stupid i knew it was
gonna do that but i'm i'm not gonna be like i need to come to work yeah right so i said sure
boss go ahead you know ignorant ignorant people are so soft they just shut everything down now
it is honestly just another reason not to work and they wonder why i like the dollars in the
toilet you wouldn't know because you don't even bother you don't you don't even work
no no it's enough the government dime my friend yeah now if they start getting alcohol tests for
government dime what are you going to do why would they okay an alcohol test what every hour of the
day randomly they just come hey random outfit you're not allowed to drink what if you had to
to blow like uh like in those cars hello hello yeah yeah good spoiler alert yeah what if what
you know those like ignition locks that you have to blow in before you yeah i'd have to do that to
use my atm card your snap card or whatever you got i don't know what you got i don't know what
they call it where you're at but yeah i don't have that shit oh actually i am going to um
I got a meeting next week to try to get that shit though.
Okay.
Well, I'm trying to get the Medicaid to help to get to pay for my co-pay.
Although I got a grant for that shit.
Wow.
I got a feeling you'd just be going out with your nephew having a bowl and seeing a card every time.
Yeah.
Man.
I never got a Dewey.
Not good.
Well, not that it's going to happen anymore.
thank you for calling meridia main station offering you the best community living in
downbrook that was a long time ago that time last year you did and i did a show the next day and i
sang that you shit yourself in the hallway and i said i had audio of it and i played it and a lot
of people heard that didn't someone on youtube say that i heard a carlito show that you shit
Get yourself in the hallway.
You're such a mess.
Right.
Right.
Dirty boy.
You're a dirty boy.
It happens.
My shit's been real good.
Knock, knock wood again.
Ever since I got you off those gummies.
Dude, that, well, that was the start of it, but I'm on, like, a whole new level of shit's
under control, which I think because just the massive smoothie in the morning.
This is really all I eat.
like yesterday all i had was please press five to have your call connected for dinner thank you for
choosing pleasant view garden your call is very good that's good i'm happy please hold one moment
while your call is transferred to our leasing specialist and went and uh started a new
connecting your call yesterday this call may be recorded for quality purposes
i recently i recently numbers in the state of emergency area yeah yeah according to the uh
to the youtube news um so i recently learned speaking of shitting this is mossy speaking
can i help you yeah hello how are you good how are you how can i help you today i'm terrible
and i'm angry listen what's going on here with the snow what's the plan what happened
i'm sorry with the snow yeah let's get the snow out of here let's go okay are you you're a
resident here i'm assuming i'm assuming uh our guys are working on no well they need to hurry
up because i need to go buy weed i need to walk and buy weed and i also need to pick up some food
somewhere okay well the guys are working on the snow all right well this is not acceptable that
it's taking so long and that there's so much snow and they are out there they've been working all
day so they're working on it what are you doing i am working in the office at a different place
well you need to get outside get over here and start helping yeah unfortunately yeah no i'm a
girl i can't i'm a girl not even that i don't live there so that's not happening my toenails
i need to paint my toenails all right is there anything else i can help you out with
uh can you make them come quicker uh they're working as hard as they can so they're out there
you're talking about how hard they're working i'm talking about how fast they're working
Because they're taking too long. They're taking time just saw them over here slapping each other with the hot mops and everything
To those two Puerto Rican guys have just been sitting in their car smoking dope this whole time
I believe you don't believe me that's their sarcastic of you
I'm gonna get here when you don't clear the fucking snow out of here. Have a good fucking snow
now
there was the hot mops
jiminy christmas
jiminy
oh god
i'll give you a call
let me get your number
that guy was the best
that was a happy kind of cheery kind of guy
that was yeah
his jiminy christmas was the best
jiminy
it was nice
because because like Rizzo wasn't that mean to him even he was like all right
I'll get back at you you know like like who with the Jiminy is that roofing is
that the name of that yeah yeah yeah the roof and I want to hear it you know how
I do oh that'd be great that'd be awesome I'd love to hear it cool you
know what's cool this white stuff they're making off like Cheetos what's
What's going on?
Throw her ass right off the fucking thing.
That guy laughed, he had so much fun with that.
Frank.
Here we go, let's enjoy this.
Hello, how you doing?
Good, how are you?
Alright, look, I got a little problem here.
I got some leaks up in the roof there.
Yeah?
I had some guys here yesterday, some Mexican, little Mexicans, they're up there
They're whacking away at my roof.
They're telling me this, that, and the other thing.
Next thing you know, it rains.
I got the rain coming right down inside.
When up there, you know, they're trying to show me this, that.
I fired the two of the fuckers off on their fucking head.
They don't know what the fuck they're doing up there.
My wife's up there poking around.
She's making like she knows what the fuck is up.
I fired her down onto the fucking car.
Now, what I need here, buddy, is I need this fucking thing done right.
Tell me what you can do for me.
I like how he kind of understands you.
No, I'm not fucking putting you on, man.
This is aggravating me now.
this shit's going on a lot my wife she's up there poking around like she knows
what the fuck she's doing I can't go right up the fucking is true down to the
fucking car show me what you can do now I mean I really need this it's all along
the side of the fucking house the water's coming in like a sieve yeah now
this problem this has been going on for years now you know you know what I'm
saying yeah the rain just comes in it's like
buckets on my fucking head it's getting out of line now i got the fucking kids up there playing
on the fucking roof this is bullshit address 503 fifth street 503 all right listen what do you do
you go up there with the kettles the pots the fucking hot shit what do you do talk to me all
right because you know what happens here i got a lot of fucking problems these little these little
mexican fuckers they were up there with the hot shit and their fucking joke they were up there
slapping each other with the hot mops i don't need this kind of shit all right yeah so i had
So that's where Tar Bash came from, the name,
because I guess he actually had a job
where he would go up there with a brother or a cousin
or something like that,
and they'd hit each other with the hot mops.
Okay.
And, like, Tar Bash each other with tar.
Yeah, they call it tar bashing, I think, or something like that.
yeah something so it was something to that effect i don't know where i heard that recently
that's red yeah it was a recent interview of his i don't know if someone played that on the show
on someone else's show i don't know i'm so fun it's nice that he uh he makes fucking
johnny break and start laughing yeah you know i have to let the fuck she knows what's up
oh i love that the wife's up there
poking around
telling me this that or the other
thing
I can just see like fucking a wife going
out there why are you doing it wrong
get the fuck out of here
she lands on the car
alright easy yo
good man you know what the other
one there's one where he talks about
his wife kind of like that something about
he's selling shit and
I think like the wood chipper
like rips the pants off of him or something
in front of everybody but something about he threw the wife into the woodchipper or something
or i for what the fuck was it i think he threw a lawnmower in it god damn what the hell was that
one uh damn i would about out of smoothies gonna have to start beer you need more green stuff
brother carlos i wish he would have picked up for us i think the only shot we would add
when he was doing that pet christian pet show for a minute because he was taking calls like i think
if i would have called the first one i would have got on because because he started only taking like
one call then and he was like you people call in like oh now you call and and then he just took
stop doing the calls yeah well i think you played his his uh voicemail recently he said he won't
take any more calls yeah it was yeah dude uh so much interest in the ministries yeah he's a big
dude by the way um dude i can't i can't remember damn that was one chipper the the wood chipper i
think he's because at some point he's selling the guy it's like some country guy and he's selling
him like uh a cow thing like whatchamacallit he's trying to he's like a horse trailer or a cow
trailer and then the he says you can have the cows or old cocksucking cows
something like that it's it's long it's long I don't know it off and then yeah
it was one of those lesser-known okay so it's the one that has a thousand what's
the problem I had a thousand chickens I'm getting a beer yeah and I could be
Let me do my own prank calls.
All right, here's another apartment complex.
I'm going to try to find a Girl Scout troop or a Girl Scout contact.
Thank you for your inquiry, and we're sorry for the brief interruption in service.
We're updating our communication systems, and we are currently unavailable to take your call.
For past response, please message us.
I wouldn't trust that guy.
yeah they think i trust my girl my daughter with that guy for girl scouts
what do you call it a girl scout yeah it was a national number and that's what answered at
the national number for girl scouts no thank you suspect i have to find a competitor group
dude so are you in a rsl or rick simpson oil at all do you ever get that at your dispensary
It didn't do nothing for me, man.
I tried it because the one guy was saying it was, like, so good.
And I don't think, I think it was way overrated, man.
You know?
I bought because, you know, I thought I should have did it because it was coming in, it comes
in little syringes, and I was filling up caps of it and shit, you know?
Right, okay.
I don't think it did it, man.
I don't know.
No, I think I think there's a little bit of snake oil in the reefer sales world.
Yeah.
I mean, did it did it get you off?
Did you get high or did you not get any medical?
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't even think it I don't think it did much of anything, really, you know.
But, yeah, I think like a lot of the medical talk is kind of fucking hogwash, you know.
All right.
Well, there you go.
I think chief marijuana correspondent meant hello.
Yeah.
I love it.
I fucking love having my Reaper card and shit.
I'm just saying
to catch all the
it's good for inflammation
and good for this.
Yeah.
It helps my neuropathy out.
It seems to.
What's exactly neuropathy?
That's nerve damage
in my legs
and fingers.
I get a lot of nerve tingling.
and stuff like that.
Nerve pain, constant dull
stabs occasionally.
But I'm able to manage
it now without medication. I stopped
my Lyrica completely. I used to take
Gamma Pentin for it. Didn't like those side effects.
And then Lyrica
was on, but it would give me terrible cramps
sometimes at night.
So yeah, I've been able to
manage it through diet and through
cannabis. So it's
pretty good.
i i i think maybe i think it's bullshit because i i expect like miracle shit from it you know
right like i like um and i'm just so fucked up man like yesterday when i was at the new therapist
place she's like just trying to bend my leg and stuff and like because that that the problem is
that i get like tight it's called like tone it's like and it's uh it's something from my brain like
and nerves telling my body to like just tighten up that's why i gotta take muscle relaxers three
times a day and shit and she talked about it too like where they install like a pump inside you of
that shit and it like pumps it right in your spine but i was like i don't think i want that
that sounds a little fucking scary but i kind of yeah i wouldn't want that right tapped into my
spot i'd be afraid to bump in and like but but then i guess it works better though because you're
not taking as much of it and it's you know just putting it like right on the spot and you know
like killing or you know mellowing out like right at the source but it's way fucking creepy you know
yeah well i thought you were getting some help from it though that you said there were
a certain strain you said it seemed yeah it seemed like it yeah i think i just get like um
that one's fucking they don't have it now god damn it i'm going shopping there tomorrow okay
they're out of the harley sue i was thinking i thinking i'm gonna ask them if they if i can get
a fucking sample of uh of like a high cbd like wax okay just fucking try it and just see like
Like, once and for all, like, smoke that and see if it, like, does make the muscles less tense, you know?
Yeah.
Have you tried, whatchamacallit, have you tried, like, the lotions or topicals and stuff like that?
No, I haven't.
And I'm thinking about it.
I might should do that because, like, my ankles are so just tight, man.
Try that.
Because they got one called, like, something freeze and they got, yeah.
i was thinking about it but then i don't want to like spend too much loot you know okay and then
it doesn't work you know yeah well if they get you a sample or at least i don't know i mean yeah
that is kind of a risk though right yeah actually i got the price i got the menu right here it's
weird they don't show their prices online for some reason okay but i'm going tomorrow man and
And I am pretty fucking out right now.
I just ate my last thing of chocolate this morning.
I had some micro doses of shrooms.
Oh, good.
I still haven't fucked with it.
I'm too afraid.
I'm just going to...
I'm a mess.
I handle my life as a mess.
My friends are going to have a really bad fucked up experience on it.
For fun, man.
Balms and lotion.
Okay.
Good morning, Girl Scouts.
How may I help you?
Hey, Girl Scouts.
it's uh cookie season right yes it is how can i help you well i got a complaint because i
bought girl scout cookies i bought those uh do-si-do do-si-do the do-si-dos yeah those yeah
so they're great and then i went to the gas station and there were these girls there and
they were like hey you want to buy and i said no i don't want to buy motherfucker like that you know
because i already got some and i don't want to get any more and they're giving me like a attitude
uh why don't you people provide like a pin or something that i can wear when i'm out in public
so that i don't get keep getting asked by these different troops and girls uh to buy more of these
cookies because i think if i buy once that's enough okay because it's a very unhealthy product
that you're selling well let me see which one in the product sales i'm at this because when i say
When I say, when I tell the stupid girl, hey, I already bought some, how do I prove that?
I need to transfer your phone call to someone in that department.
Okay, all right.
Go.
Thank you, honey.
Do-si-do.
Girl Scouts Product Sales, this is Cindy.
How may I help you?
Why is it that they don't believe me when I say I already bought do-si-dos?
I'm not sure.
Well, why can't I show some kind of proof or something?
Something like a secret handshake or, like, do you have, like, a pen or a sticker?
Like, you know when you vote and they give you a sticker that says I voted?
Is there something that you can give me?
Because they keep, these stupid little shit girls keep asking me that fucking shit all the time.
And I keep fucking saying, no, I already bought some, I said.
I said, no, I don't want to hear it anymore.
I'm sorry to hear that, but come Sunday they won't be in front of the stores anymore.
Well, can you give me a, can I get something on the Girl Scout letterhead that proves that I bought Do-Si-Do's, please?
Oh, sure.
Can I get your name and your address?
My name is Cross, Julio Cross.
Okay.
Okay.
My address is 123 Fakay Street.
Is it C-R-O-S-S?
Yes.
Okay.
And can you spell the street, please?
F-A-K-E.
Okay.
Okay.
No zip code on it.
I got it.
All right.
All right.
Perfect.
You have a lovely day.
What is it going to say?
you gonna how you're gonna word it am i gonna be allowed to laminate it sure you can laminate it
with anything you want okay what is it gonna say exactly how so that i'm prepared for my i need to
make up well mr cross by the time i get this to you probably won't need it anymore but it basically
can say that you've already bought your cookies and thank you anyway well can you uh maybe send
an email blast no i don't think so yes you can you have outlook there you have outlook no no what do
you use for email webmail you have a webmail interface no what do you guys use for your
domain for your email wait everything's done everything's done through our cookie program
so we don't have anything that has a blast like that okay can you clear the cookies on your browser
why don't you go ahead and maybe just avoid those girls from now on since you unfortunately have
have some foul language that they probably shouldn't be hearing
anyway. Well, I mean, how can
I avoid them? How? Exactly.
Don't go to the store. I have to
go to the store. I have to get my medication.
And this Circle K, as a matter
of fact, is where I buy my marijuana.
Well, then go after 8 o'clock
then. Okay. Alright.
That's when the adult
girls come out.
Oh, that was fun.
I liked it. Oh, no, that was good.
Can you
hear me laughing?
Do I need to mute?
Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
Okay.
I have you on.
I figure that's what's going to happen.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Because she, like, because I would really laugh.
And then why didn't she?
It's like she thought it was a joke for a minute,
but then it's still, like, acting like maybe it's real.
I don't know.
I think that confirmed it for her.
Yeah.
Thank you for calling Girl Scouts of Greater Los Angeles.
If you would like the Girl Scouts shop hours and location, press 2.
Otherwise, please stay on the line for the next show.
It's great that she fucking wrote it down.
Yeah.
Like, oh, and then it clicked.
Oh, my God.
But street street street street.
Any town, USA.
Man, I'm just sitting here and jamming on the song.
Thank you for your patience.
I'm just staring at the people at work over there.
You stand in line for the next bit.
I forgot we were, like, doing shit here.
Yeah, I do that, too.
I just zoned out a little bit, too, myself.
I was like, oh, look at that blonde lady.
I wonder what she's carrying over there.
Oh, you can look out the window and see people walking?
Oh, yeah.
You can, oh, I don't know.
You ever jerk it?
Like, looking at girls and stuff?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
yeah that's disgusting that's why i don't like to be out those areas like that yeah you figure
there's like a creep like me somewhere look at that yeah yeah they're just on display
keep
her calling girl scouts how may i help you yeah listen you guys
need to provide some kind of letterhead something on your corporate letterhead or something to me
that proves that i bought cookies already because i did and i keep getting harassed to buy more
more cookies um and no i'm not entirely i'm not entirely sure what no one believes me when i say
i bought the damn cookies already what am i supposed to do walk around with the empty box
of docitos all over the place i'm not sure what you're asking for you bought cookies from one of
our girl scouts some stupid girl sold them to me yeah and i bought them at the ralph's okay and is
the same girl trying to ask you to buy more cookies no more girls different stupid girls
Girls all over the place.
I go everywhere.
Okay.
Girls here, girls there.
Okay, well, you can just tell them no, thank you.
I said that.
They don't believe me.
They look at me and they don't believe me.
I know they're talking about me when I go inside the store.
Okay, well, you just tell them no, thank you, and you don't need to buy any cookies that you don't want to.
But they don't believe me.
I know they're talking about me, and I don't like it.
I don't like it.
Okay.
So I need something.
I need you to provide me with something that I can show them that says this gentleman has already bought cookies.
please do not ask them.
I'm sorry.
I'm not able to do that for you.
Well, do you have like a pin?
Is there like a pin or something?
Yeah, so our cookie sales will be over in just a bit.
They will end on Sunday, March 18th.
Why does everyone keep telling me that?
That is when the cookie sales end
and the girls will not be out selling cookies anymore.
You are welcome to just tell them no thank you
and you are not obligated to buy any more cookies than you want.
So thank you so much for calling.
but why do you keep pushing it on me why do you keep pushing it on me damn it um it's it's like
real i'm uh i heard like half of that only no yeah i don't know everybody stay home yeah you
gotta be everyone's just stay home this no bothers me stay home the cookies stay home don't go to any
stores until march 18th i'd eat this is not acceptable oh god i'm just like some guys
no i had these thoughts i'm like look seriously i already did buy the damn girl scout cookies and
i wasn't supposed to and i had a lot of guilt about it because you can't just eat one or two
you eat the whole box you know i know i know yeah not a fan dude you gotta you gotta get some girl
girl scout cookies you can buy the ice cream even they're such sellouts this is all stuff i should
be complaining about about how them just they're just putting their name on anything nowadays
how about i call say i went to the dispensary and i was very shocked that you have this
your own strain marijuana called girl scout cookies you never heard of my girl scout cookie
oh i know i was i was saying i was acting as you yeah yeah saying it to the lady because it would
be a lady did you know it's a schedule one truck oh yeah a federal schedule one truck
no matter i've had so even you believe that yeah yeah hello hello yeah listen i have a little bit
of a concern an issue i wanted to go okay okay this is regarding these girl scout cookies all
Alright, I happen to be in a not-so-savory environment, and I saw these Girl Scout cookies for sale there.
Did you want to explain something?
Why? Why, lady?
Dude, it's, um, you reconnect me or something.
Okay.
Because it's, like, unbelievable.
Hello? Hello?
Hello. Let me turn off the TC, too. Maybe that's doing something.
Thank you for calling Girl Scouts of Northern California.
If this is an emergency, an incident of serious nature occurring during a Girl Scout activity, press 9.
Why would you call them?
This is an emergency. I saw marijuana for a second.
People, will I transfer your call?
Yeah, are you calling the Girl Scout hotline with an emergency?
Yeah.
It just got weird and dark out.
I wonder if it's nose coming that you were talking about.
Do you think it's in their instructions?
Yeah, listen, I'm not very happy here with what's going on.
Okay, I do apologize.
Give me just a second.
Let me collect some information from you.
Okay.
This is regarding...
Are you a Girl Scout, Nicole?
Well, no.
I just went through my son Matt's bedroom, and he has a Girl Scout cookie here.
It's branded by you guys.
It says very clear on the package.
It says Girl Scout cookie.
It says THC 70%, THCA 8.5%, CBD 2.8%, total 61%.
It's marijuana.
Okay.
And it says Girl Scout cookies on here.
I do apologize about the trade.
Is this what it's come to now?
No.
I do apologize, but give me just a second.
I want to place you on a brief hold so I can get some further information on this, okay?
Yeah, you're whoring the girls out apparently.
Go ahead.
Give me one moment.
Yes.
labia okay uh may i have someone call you back or would you prefer to hold while i try to connect
you well how long do you think it's going to be and what's going on in the background labia labia
labia labia what's going on in the background what where are you um nothing is going on in
the background give me just a moment i'm sorry where are you what are you doing where are you
mcdonald's or something labia no i'm not may i have labia labia labia labia yes that is my last
name okay what's your first name hugh h-u-g-h h-u-g-h and may i have a phone number for you
no i want to hold i want to hold and i don't need the attitude either okay okay i do everything for
your college on your package from your girl scout cookie package i went through my son matt's room
and i found that he has a bag of marijuana and it says girl scout cookie on here
i can't believe that you would you know offer you would endorse or offer a product like this
labia labia labia labia i'm sorry labia labia i have i have your name sir okay what are you doing
you didn't give me an expectation of how long i'm gonna wait or what you're doing at all
unfortunately the conference is experiencing high call value why is yeah because everyone's
finding out everyone found out about all this marijuana that you're selling now
give me god damn it i'm gonna place you on another i'm gonna place you on another
labia labia
she has your name sir
I don't think she knows the word
I think she's a little uneducated
no I think she knows what labia is
I don't know
what do you think she calls them pussy flaps
she has something like that
thank you for calling girl scouts
of northern california
oh that's the one i already called sorry different one yes yes okay unfortunately um
unfortunately i can't see one on the line but what i can do is i can get this information
passed over to the stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid so do you think it's like a call center
like like just dummies just working for like this one month you know yeah is that what's going on
that's what i'm thinking because you know what i'm she's really i really don't think she knew
Yeah, he thinks that you're clueless about what's going on.
Do you just work in a call center?
It sounds like you're in India or something.
No.
Oh, she's definitely in the state.
Are you incarcerated at the moment?
Am I what?
Incarcerated.
Are you trying to?
No, I'm not.
Okay.
Okay.
Are you a temp worker just working for the big phone rush?
I'm answering service for the growth app.
Whenever they have calls, I'll call back to the call center.
We've just been messaging.
we're not gonna get anywhere with you are we no see what i'm saying she's just tell me
could you not just be real from the beginning and you know tell me that you're not the girl
scouts for the stupid answering service all right what do you have my name as again
all right thank you all right okay all right all right and do you have pussy lips or piss flaps
Pussy Flaps? Pussy Lips? Piss Flaps?
Yeah, she knows what those are.
Yeah, dude. I called it. Pussy Lips and Piss Flaps.
What a dummy. Jesus Christ. Yeah, Mr. Labia.
What the fuck? Thank you for calling Girl Scouts and
for watching this online at www.
These people got the same number for like several.
Yeah, because I could tell she wouldn't get in it.
She was just thick.
Yeah, she was thick.
She was thick all right.
I don't know what I just did.
Fucked it up.
Plus, I don't like that one anyway.
It's a whole different one.
Yeah, lower your voice.
Hello?
Are you there?
Yeah, I'm there.
Oh, goddammit, you're loud, lady.
Listen, I got a problem.
With the voice.
Calling Girl Scouts.
This is the same number.
If you're calling after hours and have an emergency, please call 559-
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This one's a toll-free number.
Let's see if...
I don't know.
Hello.
Oh.
Oh, hey.
Oh.
Thank you for calling the girl.
Please listen carefully.
Our menu options have changed.
To be connected to our customer care team...
Yeah, I think she'd get really upset.
...or retail store director.
Be like, sir, I'm disconnecting this call.
Welcome to customer care.
We appreciate your patience as we connect you to the next available specialist.
If a specialist is unavailable to take a call, please be sure to leave a message.
We will return your call as soon as possible.
Come on the Girl Scouts of Western Washington Customer Care.
How may I help you?
Yeah.
Are you okay there?
I got these Girl Scout cookies and they're making me cough really bad.
Oh, no.
Why do you endorse a product like this?
Pardon?
Why do you endorse a product like this?
What do you mean?
I went to a dispensary and it's Girl Scout cookie, it says on it.
I bought it because I wanted to support.
I know the cookies are being sold.
Okay.
Let me place you on a brief hold, okay?
Hurry up.
Labia.
I muted it down so she can't hear us.
I don't know if she's trying to listen.
You know what?
Every time I do this, I forget that I did it.
And they come back and I'm like,
Let's try to do it right this time.
Sir, sir, sir.
Are you there, sir?
Yep.
Shit, damn it.
But yeah, I see like, it's like a human zoo across from me.
All these worker people.
I see like all the time.
You ever do any cat calling from your window?
No, I don't want to open the window.
No, because it just looks down at an alley.
You should still, I mean, yeah.
There's not, like, pedestrians, and you don't really open these windows.
No.
You know.
See, when I visited my uncle once when he was living in Boston, he lived in the city.
All right, so I'm going to transfer you over to a manager, okay?
All right, let's go, let's go.
Remember this time.
Stand by the window, yellow people.
Let's go.
Thank you for calling Girl Scout.
Yeah, I'm appalled.
I just went through my son Matt's bedroom,
and he has a product here that I guess you people endorsed
that's a Schedule I drug, according to the federal government.
And what is that, sir?
It says Girl Scout cookie on it, and it's marijuana.
Can you describe what the packaging looks like?
Because we don't endorse that, that I'm aware of.
It says, let's see here.
It says wax, strain, Girl Scout cookie, says indica, and then it says package weight, 0.5 gram, individual doses, 10 doses, potency analysis, THC 1.8, THCA 76.5%.
Yeah, these are drugs.
This is drugs.
And do you know where your son received this?
Where he purchased it?
He said he got it from the Girl Scouts.
He said that the Girl Scouts were selling cookies this month.
And then I looked it up on the Internet, and it's true.
People are selling Girl Scout cookies.
We definitely are, but we don't sell drugs.
Do you know what location he may have picked this up from, like, so I can try to investigate?
He said it's Natural Remedies.
What city, like, where he can give me a description, like, of where this was purchased?
I guess it's like a marijuana store.
We don't have anything inside of a marijuana store.
It says Girl Scout Cookie on here, so how about you explain it?
We just have cookies.
I mean, someone could have easily, like, taken our packaging,
but we don't affiliate ourselves with anything of that sort.
Well, obviously you do because you're endorsing a product right here.
It says Girl Scout Cookie, Indica.
Who's Indica?
I have no idea.
I have no idea, sir.
but i need um a little bit more information from you so that um i can actually investigate that
because well you do you talk to what are you what do you do there anyway you just answer the phone
and look pretty or what's your job no i'm the manager actually sorry oh is there a man i can
talk to um there is no man manager here at the moment that's unfortunate that's kind of explaining
what's going on i'm going to put my son on the phone i want you to explain to him why it's okay
for him to use marijuana that you get says girl scout cookie on it matt yeah a little shit you're
You're going to talk to this lady.
She's the one who gave me the reaver?
Yeah, bitch.
Hey, are you at the natural store?
I thought it was okay because it was Girl Scouts.
No, sir.
Girl Scouts does not endorse in any type of marijuana drug or anything.
It's not okay.
We don't want any young person.
I can't follow along.
It's cutting off, buddy.
Yeah, do you, natural, you said you received this at the natural remedy store?
Yeah, he did.
He received that at the Natural Remedies store, yeah.
What city?
What city is this?
He's so much on marijuana now that he can't even understand on the phone, the computer phone.
I'm so sorry you're going through that, sir.
Yes.
You're not sorry.
You're not sorry because you're not here right now.
You're not the one here.
What city do you guys live in so that I can try to do some research?
We live in Labia.
Labia.
Research.
Can you Google Labia?
Yeah.
Yeah. So do you have a phone number where I can have someone else give you a call?
No, I really don't feel comfortable. Can I call back at a time and talk to a man?
I'm going to research someone like our HR person. He's a guy. And I will have him contact you if
you have a phone number. He doesn't have a direct line.
Okay. All right. Yeah, just have him call me back here.
Yeah. What's your number?
At the Labia. It should come up. Did you find it?
Okay. At the Labia. Thank you.
okay let's have him uh let's put his uh lips up to it you know i sure will thank you and we have
your phone number did you really not know what labia is did you really not know yeah i i know i
know what it is but thank you sir you looked it up you looked up for labia and stupid now you know
you're moron dude it's like um what's doing now i when does it cut out when you talk i didn't know
No, when you guys, like, the second I'll hear, like, a word, and then it just, like, cuts off, and then, like, the next person will talk to you.
I know what it is.
I know what it is.
So here's what's going on.
Skype is designed that it monitors the outgoing audio and will block it from coming back in as echo cancellation, right?
Yeah.
so on top so i'm stuck using the windows 10 version which for some reason right now is also
playing like a kind of an echoey thing like you it sounds like you're talking down the hallway
and it's not your fault yeah so skype is detecting that and thinking it's an echo and canceling it
that's so whenever any noise comes from your end it chops it all up that's that's that's what's
going on it's not your fault it's my fault i so should if if i'm mute except when then i talk then
would it be better no no i don't want to make you have to do that let me see because what i was
getting was a login error yeah on the old school skype yeah uh so let me let me see if that's
resolved let me see if that's resolved if that's resolved then i'll switch over to that i'm trying
going to log in now see i don't know if microsoft killed it finally so you can't use the old version
i started looking up online i didn't see any reports of that going on yet yeah but i told you
i i mean you have to start i had to start using the newer one on the windows 10 it sucks it sucks
dude you can't turn off sound effects it's well i i'm using the older one i'm not using the windows
10 one i'm using you want me to tell you what version i'm using um so where would that be in
help about right yeah i mean i know it's the windows 10 version i know it's the big no no i'm
not well it's no it's not that because that one's built in i'm this one's 7.4 it's from it's like
newer but it's not that it's not that like windows 10 appy one you know right because i have that on
here too i hate that one um yeah what what i get now is look for that but what i get here skype
can't connect if i put in my password incorrectly it says password incorrect so i know it's passing
the password part it just the this the skype running on this laptop isn't able to connect
to the skype servers fully so again i don't know if they pulled a plug on something or something i
don't know so i'm stuck on on the newer version the same one you're on which yeah i'm getting
in this double audio
and, like, oh, the other thing is
I can't do the conferences right.
It's all screwy. I've tried it before
and Evil Artie and Brad Carter
want to join the show, but I can
only have one person. I can try?
Let me try.
Yeah, you try
to try. It's gonna
be... Try, try, try. See if you can.
I added Brad.
Okay, alright.
Do you have Evil Artie? I don't have Evil Artie.
You don't have Evil Artie? Artie's part of the list
sorry already bread is yellow at the time or should i oh should i call the snowplow thing
i'm not sure which one he was messaging me on that that one's green so called it too all right
try it it'll might get us attention at least oh here okay okay he's they're all green so
i don't know call failed yeah see it's it's dumb and that okay he may be able to join later
I gotta figure out what's going on
with the Skype now
I hope it's just a temporary thing
Brad here? Oh no, no answer
I'll send him a message
see if he can get his attention
Back to prank calls
Do you really got Girl Scout wax right now?
Are you at a website?
I don't
I'm out, it's just like a little bit in there
but not much, yeah, I already went through it
It's, I don't know
I like the Girl Scout flower more than the wax
yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna get to get some wax tomorrow i'm looking at their their website
right now okay thank you uh they they only have like you don't have that much but they got
sweet island sweet skunk rubble chunky diesel butter purple thai wax peppermint kush butter
sweet relief butter outer space butter okay usually get carts yeah yeah but I
remember he gave me a little sample of crumble last time and I really dug it
okay I remember you mentioning a sample was that what it was yeah yeah and it's
it's like cheaper you know yeah because if I like a gram of that's like 40 or 50
bucks and like a gram cart is like 100 bucks or more yeah we go through our cartridge cart carts
way too fast but with the concentrates and shit we seem to get more money for yeah more bang for
our buck
fun carts are so convenient
they are though yeah
just so nice
well on the go I would go with a cart
like if we were going to go out somewhere
and I wanted to be medicated
but I wouldn't want to bring wax
because that's a pain in the ass
but I even have a pen that just handles the
concentrates you know what I mean
yeah I just have it
it goes on the same batteries
it just looks like
it has two coils in it
uh see i hate the coil shit because of my vision issues so i actually got a coil this one now it's
pretty good oh link please uh sure yeah i'll get that too it's a ceramic cup okay yeah that would
be cool you have reached a number that has been i just this is just a little junkie it was just
six bucks and since they since the dude gave me the sample and she's like well what do you smoke
your concentrates i was like i've never had any she's like here one of these oh cool it's like
six bucks you do you get a rig and all that shit but it's just so inconvenient
oh yeah fucking blow a torch like a milkman no one's crazy he does that shit like go park his
car and do it like in the park hello girl scouts this is jill hi big jill how you doing i'm good
how can i help you uh listen i'm not happy here my son matt is here in the house he came home
home from school i went through his bag and i found that he has girl scout cookies in here
can i help you with that well this is the schedule where first of all where are you
calling from i get phone calls from all over oregon it's a schedule one drug but where are
you calling from from boo cake i don't know where that is i'm down in medford um hold on just a
minute and um let me have you speak to somebody in portland what is your name cross cross yeah
Yeah, Labia is the last name.
One second, let me see if I can find somebody to take your call.
Hurry up.
Just one moment.
Hurry up, okay?
Okay.
Forgot my name is Labia today.
Shit.
I don't like it.
Dude, I got myself a dope-ass Fila track jacket on eBay the other day.
Ooh, a Fila track jacket.
Yeah, it's dope, dude.
I'll show you.
I don't have it yet.
Because I was listening to fucking Schoolie D talking about Fila's and shit.
it i'm gonna have you speak to page one moment okay thank you for calling girl scouts page
speaking how may i help you hey big page how you doing thanks how can i help you well i'm not very
happy my son matt came home from school and he has girl scout cookie in his bag in his bag and
this is not acceptable this is a schedule one drug that he has so i'm not exactly sure what
schedule one drug that means or or how your son got a cookie he has marijuana concentrates
marijuana concentrate it's a bottle of marijuana concentrate and it says girl scout cookie on it
it says strain girl scout cookie and it says indica underneath that wow okay i think i understand
what you're saying now okay warnings medical marijuana must be kept in the original container
in which it was dispensed wow unauthorized wow unlawful and shall subject the purchaser to
criminal penalties this product is for medical use only women should not consume during pregnancy
or while breastfeeding except on the advice of the practitioner who issued the certification and
in the case of breastfeeding the infant's pediatrician this product might impair the
ability to drive or operate heavy machinery keep out of the reach of children storage
absolutely the medical marijuana contained in this package should be stored in this container
do not expose to excessive heat or light uh and it has a permit number here and then it says
medical marijuana uh total thc 61.8 all right so thank you for reading all of that to me sir so i
I think that what your child has received is a container of cannabis.
Is that what you're saying?
Well, yeah, and it says Girl Scout Cookies on here.
So that's very, very concerning to us because it sounds like someone who is selling cannabis has used the name of our organization, which is illegal.
And distributing cannabis to children, I believe, is also illegal.
So I think that the OLCC needs to be contacted by you so that they can get information.
Marijuana concentrates come in many forms, each subtly different and suited to the end user's consumption preference.
Okay, I don't know what that means at all, but I can tell you that we don't...
Concentrates generally contain higher concentrations of THC, the most common forms of concentration.
Well, I appreciate your call.
I appreciate your call.
I believe that you need to contact the school that your child attends and the organ department for liquor control, which is the OLCC.
The sexual organs.
No, OLCC.
Okay.
Because OLCC regulates the distribution of those kinds of products.
Sure.
And if you contact your school, your son's school as soon as possible.
yeah right you're ignorant lady because why do you people endorse a product like this
damn it i gotta take a break milkman milkman you guess you're milkman tonight i just decided to
call you i guess yeah thanks i uh you've played him in the past yeah yeah yeah hey did you see
the the jacket uh the video's not working on my end no no i just posted in the skype chat i'll
take a look at it i gotta pee real bad man okay all right we're gonna take this break here when
When we come back, we'll play a song and a few prank calls.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Labia.
Labia.
Hey, Brad, how you doing?
Hey.
Hey, good.
I'm sorry to report I'm going to have to end the show, actually.
I just received some news.
Fucking shit.
I got some stuff I got to take care of.
I was going to try to do another hour, but it's not going to be.
Oh, I get it.
I show up.
You have to go suddenly.
Yeah.
You wouldn't like it because it's acting really funny, too.
Like, it keeps cutting out on Matt.
and it would do the same to you
so I would
alright well thanks for being on everyone's snowplow show
big Brad here is a
funny guy
alright yeah fuck it
alright Brad thanks man I'll see you
bye say bye to Matt
bye Matt
labia labia
well sorry about that guys I gotta go
I gotta go like I gotta go now
I run a transportation
I go I go see you guys I'll do another longer
better show soon goodbye
But shut up, Echo.
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