13 Year Anniversary Show

I'm in the streets listening to Madhouse Live.

I hope my speech can compete with that bad mouth style that we get from Carlito.

That's my big amigo.

So just kick back to listen to this cat call, people.

When the show goes live, I be like, damn, this shit's bitchin'.

Stop whatever I'm doing to tune in and listen.

You can catch me in the back of his home at Horse Machine Ranch Road.

I'm busting mad fat flows for assholes and banchos.

Must be crazy.

Shout out to Big Amy.

That's nice, honey, baby.

We kissing pussy, so ladies, touch your labia.

It's crazy.

Have the stuff that my bruh might say to ya

Face it, cause it's the number one prank cast

Stay back if you can't handle all the straight laughs

That we hand to your dome

And if you want, call the number

You can listen to this show on the go

Big up to the man in the madhouse

You show love, you stick your motherfuckin' hands up

Some come close, but they can't get it right

Let the king do his thing, it's the Madhouse Live

You sound okay, but I think your audio effects are hot

My audio effects are a little hot in your ear?

All right, we're on the air, everybody.

Oh, we are?

Yeah, we're on now.

Hi, everybody.

No, we're on now.

And we're live.

And we're just kind of fine-tuning some shit here that's not working right.

All right, everybody, thanks for tuning in.

This is a new studio setup for me and Milkman,

so if you apologize, we're having some trouble.

But I think I...

Yeah, we'll walk around.

I'm just worried that it's going to sound really bad for the people that we call.

Let me turn that music off.

I mentioned the audio level, but I thought we were off here.

So I apologize.

It's boring, everybody.

Yeah, buddy.

All right.

So, hey, real quick, let me give out some links here, and then we're going to do some pranks.

I know I usually like to do a cold open with a prank, but that wasn't in the cards today.

MadHouseLive.com is the website machine for myself, Carlito, and my show with Milkman here.

Milkman has a blog there also about making pineapple cakes.

pineapple turnover cake so check out his recipe i'm talking about uh while you're there uh you

can get your links to tune into the show uh shellcast links the tune in radio app is there

which also plays the tune in the shellcast feed rather and uh youtube is playing their youtube

live there's no music on the youtube feed but you can see me doing my show doing my thing here and

hear the calls just no music because facebook and youtube rather and copyright shit well you know

If Bono's going to play guitar, you know.

Really?

Bono?

Romano?

Me?

No, you.

You play guitar.

I don't play guitar.

Okay, you play the drums and I'll play the guitar.

Okay.

I'll play the trumpet.

I'll give you the Bono.

Give me Ricky Ricardo.

Right, right, right.

Okay.

We're about ten minutes away from Milkman's Bonghead section,

segment of the show, the 420 on the West Coast.

If you want to follow us on Twitter, Madhouse, that's at Madhouse on Twitter.

Facebook, Madhouse.Live.

Excuse me, guys.

I've got to figure out a top button.

Patreon.com slash Madhouse.

Support the show.

Become a $1 a month militia member and get access to the instant showreel,

which basically gives you an unedited copy of the show immediately after we sign off

via Dropbox.

Again, I just asked for a dollar

to help pay the bills around here.

It's still hot and dripping with sweat

if you catch up right there and there

with the subscription.

Yep, still stanky.

You can also go to Horse Membership,

$5 horse members, get all that,

plus access to our Discord channel,

the Madhouse Discord chatroom channel,

which really no one uses,

so you're not missing much.

But hey, I throw you something.

I try to...

Maybe in the future I'll make it

some more stuff you can get.

I just don't want to deal with mailing shit out and all that.

That's a lot of work, and I'm lazy, and I'm afraid of the mailbox.

That's a lot of work, and you need a secretary.

No, I don't need a secretary.

I don't want that.

No, you need a secretary to be mailing shit.

That's what I'm saying.

We don't have staff for mailing and shit.

Yeah, yeah.

So we'll come up with some other alternative, like an audio download or something really nice for you.

Yep.

Quick reminder, if you want to listen to us on your Amazon Alexa-enabled device,

just uh holler alexa play madhouse prank call radio alexa play madhouse prank call radio and

she or he depending on what your gender pronoun is for your echo device uh uh is uh will play us

live here right now and when we're not live you can listen to madhouse radio shows from our last

13 years because this is our 13th year anniversary show today 13 years of prank call shows are

Are available there.

If you want to chat.

I guess we're in season 14 then, huh?

We're in season 14, yeah.

Yeah, we're...

Oh, my Lord.

Not that there was much of a season the last two or three, but still, you know...

Well, it doesn't matter, dude.

We still was there.

We even produced, like, some holiday shows.

It's just there was this little growing time for the show right there.

We had to go through a phase, man.

Yeah, a butthurt phase.

I had to take a little time off, and I apologize.

You know, Armando wasn't able to do as many shows, but I'm back.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

A lot of people realized that I was dead for a while, you know.

They brought him back.

I did get a couple messages, but all your kind messages actually brought me back to life.

Milkman was dead on the operating room table.

He was dead, and they brought him back to life.

I had too many of those pineapple cakes in my hard-winned overload for a minute there from near, what is that?

What is it?

Diabetic overload.

Sugar attack.

The sugar aids, yeah.

But I'm back.

That's right.

So now you don't have to look for delays.

Look for more action.

Because season 14 is going to be better than ever.

If you want to chat with us, we're almost done with this show.

If you want to chat with us, discord.gg slash pranks is the hijinks, the high drinks discord chat.

You can generally, the majority of the community is in there.

And also, Enigma is still holding down our old school IRC chat room over at prankdose.com.

That is where that is.

It's not as used or busy, but people like Milkman, who are stuck in the 90s, love to do that kind of stuff.

So there you go.

There you go.

Yeah, one last thing, one last thing here.

We've got phone numbers to give out.

I'm just going to give out one right now if you want to listen to us on the go.

If you don't have a data service where you're at on your cell phone, but you have cell service connectivity,

or if you're in an area where you can't hear us on the Internet at work or such, but you can make a phone call,

whatever your reason might be you can dial 605-475-0097 once again that's 605-475-0097

and you can hear madhouse radio on the go machine on the slide baby on the slide man no one has to

know man you just dial it man you and madhouse yes sir correct um so i guess we're ready to

you do a call. Let's see what we got

here. I already got five more minutes

till the bong hits. Everybody get

your doobies ready because

Germanito's gonna do a call.

He's gonna come back and I'll do it again.

All you marijuana-addicted drug

people. We got

drain cleaning and plumbing. 24-7

emergency call.

Alright, that's cool. We can do that

because I got lots of sound effects. I love

sound effects now.

Plumbing, dude, my lord.

Lord, you are overloading on plumbing effects, brother.

Stack the deck when it comes to plumbing, man.

I'm really good at plumbing.

I fixed my own toilet here a few weeks ago.

It was great.

I was like, fuck the fucking apartment people.

Hello, and thank you for calling ProRotoRooter,

a drain cleaning and plumbing company.

We also offer emergency 24-hour services.

Please hold, and a customer service representative will be with you shortly.

Let's go, puta.

Wait while I try to connect you.

while i try to connect you see milkman i forgot already but i got you it beeped at me oh i didn't

do it right hey milkman i got you i got you see it beeped at me to warm you but i forgot

it told me i was singing eternal ding ding man that's like the song goes on hello hello hello

hi that's it hi hi hello hi is this toilet is this the toilet uh yeah it's pro router

Yeah, I need help with the toilet.

What happened in the toilet?

Well, we got some sheets stuck in the toilet.

There's water everywhere.

How do we flush the sheets down through the toilet?

You could.

You can.

Well, they're halfway through already.

I'm sure there's a way.

Is there a button on the toilet that we push?

Is there a button on the toilet we push?

No, you should not flush a t-shirt on the toilet.

It's just a t-shirt and a pillow.

Like a big pillow for the bed.

In the toilet?

Yeah.

You can pull it back.

Pull it back?

It won't come out.

I'm trying to pull it back.

I can't.

Milkman.

Huh?

Milkman.

I'm talking to my friend.

Milkman.

Yes.

Pull the toilet.

Yes, I can't get out.

Pull it.

He said pull it.

I'm getting covered in this shit.

There's water everywhere here, sir.

We need you to come down here and clean this up.

What do you mean clean it up?

Well, you're the plumbing service.

You can come clean the toilet and clean the water.

Yeah, you mean unclog the toilet?

Well, come clean it.

It's dirty.

okay everything's dirty there's water everywhere disgusting dirty black water everywhere

uh i'm in horse machine ranch you know where that is no this is a fucking cool you're you're

an asshole you know that sir yeah that guy was pissing me off it wasn't even funny milkman it

was shit that was a shit call horse machine ranch road my lord everybody knows you forget about

horse machine ranch road remember that back in the day back in the day two years ago yeah so like

Like, one thing I'm noticing here with the audio,

if I try to turn on my sound effects for my echo for I'm in the toilet,

it sounds like this.

It sounds really bad.

It's not working.

See?

I mean, it's working.

That's better.

It's working, but, no, there's a really bad hissiness to it.

I don't understand.

Yeah.

I don't know.

We may have to talk what you're using for patch cables or audio cables.

Are you using digital audio?

What are you doing over there?

I'm using a lot of everything.

I got a lot of analog to digital to everything right now, man.

It's a whole mess of shit.

If you're using analog to D, okay, to D,

anywhere you got digital audio,

you got to make sure that you're using a coaxial digital cable.

A coaxial digital cable.

Right.

There's old RCA cables.

They'll make a connection, but you'll get that noise that you just heard.

Yeah? Okay.

Right.

So you'll have to buy the cables.

So the cable's actually solid round.

One piece.

It looks like an old cable that comes out of the wall.

Okay.

But it has those phonograph connectors on the end.

It carries the connector right up.

It carries the signal right up the middle of that right there.

But that's super shielded because the digital makes up that,

like what I was telling you, it sounded like a razor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what you were hearing, yeah.

The digital noise, okay?

So if you're not using those higher quality cables,

you're just using like RCA cables, that might be the problem.

You just need to replace that later with a digital audio cable.

And when you look it up, you know, like whenever you would lift it up to buy a cable,

you're going to type in digital coaxial digital audio cable.

And there's actually a specific cable for that application.

Okay.

To eliminate that noise problem. Yes, sir.

Man, I just spent so much money on cables and all this time, and now you're going to tell me.

Well, it's not really because, like, those RCA cables can be used,

But if it's just a regular RCA cable, dude, you know, they're going to have to be replaced with something that's going to be noise-free.

I want to say it might be just something that I can move because I had it working just fine.

Everything sounded great.

Just like even like last night, I was testing things again, and everything sounded great.

And then all of a sudden, it just started doing this all over again.

I don't know.

All right.

I think I might have a cable laying on some kind of power thing, you know?

Let's take a break, man.

How about a bonehead, dude?

it's like 21 22 after i think it's about time good enough yeah yeah yeah yeah let's take we

will regroup and then we'll come out of this we'll make some calls and we're not gonna sweat

it dude we're gonna roll right on dude right along yeah we don't need no echo we don't need

no echo echo smacko all right here we go that works all right everybody jobs in hawaii we got

jobs in hawaii all right we got roofers in hawaii let's try that let's get a roof

Hello? Yeah, you got roofing jobs.

You got roofing jobs.

Yeah.

All right, what can you tell me about this, or what can I tell you?

Why, are you looking for work?

Yeah, I'm looking for work. I like to get up on the roof.

What kind of experience you got?

I used to put up roofs all the time.

I have a hammer, you know?

I go up there, and I hit the things.

The guy tells me where to go and put the thing, and I put it in.

I hold it with one hand, and I put the nails with the other one,

and I hit it with my hammer?

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

What do you mean?

So where are you from?

Well, I'm from the mainland, but I'm in Hawaii now.

On the big island?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm betting in some brackets right now before I've got a job.

You're doing what?

Let me call you back.

You're doing what?

I'm fabricating stuff right now.

You're masturbating?

I'm fabricating.

You're masturbating?

I have children there, sir, and you're masturbating.

Put your penis away.

Yeah, I don't have time for your nonsense.

Well, I don't have time for masturbating, man.

Milkman, I got to get it down.

I'm sorry, man. You know, I was supposed to bring you right in. It's gonna take me a while with this new system

I'm real upset that the shit fucking sounds like it does

It's true. It's translating into the calls

Yeah, that's true

I guess

I can be all

I'm looking out the window and Homer's pooping.

It's real funny.

He's taking a shit.

Good boy, Z.

That's Homer, boy.

He's leaving some landmines.

He's out there right now.

That's what he looks like.

His big old long body makes a big long turd.

He's a fucking asshole.

He keeps trying to eat all the new cables here, too.

Oh, shit.

Seriously.

I don't think you're going to need to replace him anyway.

Anyway, that could be.

You know what?

He could have chunked into one.

That could be it.

He could have got a ground short somewhere.

I guess.

Yeah, I mean, it could be.

It could be.

I don't know what he might have done here during the day when I was at home.

Here's a job for a data assistant.

Explain my prior experience in programming Sibian and virtual sex dogs.

Okay.

Job human resources.

This is Tyler.

Hey, Big Tyler.

I see you got a job for data assistants.

For data assistants?

Yeah.

What is the...

Data assistant.

The project number?

The ID number?

I mean, you're really putting me on the spot here.

Where is it at?

1-8-3-2-2?

1-8-3...

I mean, what is some kind of like...

Is this like a Kmart where the people just come and go?

What was that?

Is this like a Kmart where the people just come and go?

For this job?

Yeah.

What's going on?

Why are you like, which one?

Which one are you talking about?

Why do you say that?

Oh, no.

I was just wondering what job so I can...

oh what is your phone number i can call you back i have a meeting to go to sorry seriously oh yeah

what's the meaning about i just popped up what do you mean it just popped up on your outlook

yeah you're really irresponsible you didn't even know you had a meeting come up does it start in

15 minutes or does it start now it's going to start now okay you have a phone number that

who are the attendees all of us sorry well do me do me a favor do click on uh click on in

file and then like invite attendees and on the left hand side you'll see a list of all the people

who are invited okay all right and can you just read them off i don't even have an invite sorry

but their meeting is just happening right now go to your in outlook go to click on calendar

on the bottom left instead of the mail click on the little calendar and it'll bring up your

calendar window yeah i don't i don't see it but okay no listen listen listen listen honey

Now, I want you to go into the appointment, into the appointment in Outlook, all right?

Okay.

There's nothing showing up there.

So then you don't have a meeting?

All the staff are just meeting right now.

Okay.

What are they meeting?

I mean, what is this?

Can you put my speakerphone?

I don't know.

They're telling me.

Maybe.

Maybe you're losing your job.

Maybe.

Can I get a phone number to call you back?

I'll call back.

When is your meeting done?

Maybe an hour.

I don't know.

It's a long meeting, man.

Yeah.

Wow.

This is a weekly meeting?

All right.

Well, I'll...

This is a weekly fucking standing meeting?

Please call me back.

Thank you.

All right, honey.

Uh-oh.

Please call me back.

I don't know where I was going with Outlook.

Oh, fuck Outlook.

I missed the first part of it.

Yeah.

Milkman, you know, I'm real excited.

I'm excited for the show.

I've been excited.

Me and you both have been excited all week.

I want to apologize.

Before the show started, there was a bit of miscommunication between me and Milkman.

I thought I had told you that we were going to do 4 p.m. your time, 7 p.m. my time.

You understood that to be 7 p.m. our old starting time, 7 p.m. Pacific, 10 Eastern.

And I was kind of rude with you because you were asleep.

I just want to apologize, Milkman.

You didn't deserve that.

Well, you're going to sweat.

You ain't going to bring that shirt on there.

Don't worry.

I was knocked out.

I was grumpy because I was asleep, and he called me just like five minutes before we were going on the air.

and I thought that I had like

but listen

I've been working all morning

you gotta admit

when I'm calling you when I thought this was the time

and the phone's ringing and you're not answering

I'm like here we go again

like old times we're going right into it again

where Carlito calls Milkman

and Milkman don't answer

you know

but I should not have been like that

and we're both real excited about

coming back hopefully the weekly shows

I really hope it works

But Milkman here

Milkman here is my brother

And I'm going to make it a goal here

That within the next year

I'm going to fly out there to California

And hang out with you man

We'll have a meet up over there

You know what I'm trying to say

Yeah we got to do it

We got to do it baby

Whatever man

It's all good man

I need to see you man

I need to get an eyeball on you man

The furthest west I've ever been is Pittsburgh

So if that's any idea

As to how much

how bad i need to get the fuck out that you know i need to travel a little bit maybe like a normal

human being that tells you right there hey milkman's hey there's nothing wrong with that

i've been a lot of places dude you know like i said i went i started out in the fucking middle

of nowhere i left the mud i left the caribbean and hell i ended up out here broke in the land

of gold yeah milkman communicated to me he wants to do more prank calls so we're going to teach

We're going to teach you how to do pranks.

We're going to coach you here.

I suck, dude.

I suck, man.

I'm not very funny.

And, hey, the old Madhouse mouth line is back in operation.

We're going to be opening it up.

I think we'll do a call and open it up, see if anyone wants to call in,

because I want to hear from the people.

Madhouse is about the children.

So I'll be giving that number out in a moment.

You can call and join us here.

You can shoot the shit, maybe do a prank with us if you behave,

if you're a friend, if you're a nice person.

Please, nice people only calling in to the show.

Just ask that you be nice.

That's all.

Please.

It's for fun, man.

Don't make me feel bad.

Don't make fun of my weight, my kidney problem, and all that.

Please leave your message for Joanna.

She has a jigsaw for sale.

Joanna, we want that jigsaw.

All right.

Let's try to call her back.

I'm starting to chill out now.

I was really hyped up.

The audio trouble, I'm still kind of anxious, but I think I'm calming down, getting our

stride here.

Please leave your message for...

I just really wanted it all to go right.

We got a call.

Can you come and call?

Hello?

Hey, is that Milkman?

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah.

Oh, hey, you're back.

Yeah, I'm back.

They just dropped out, so I called back.

I just tried it.

See, that system worked.

Yeah, there you go.

See, it worked out.

I hung up on you in an accident.

You called right back in.

We're good to go.

All right, man.

Hey, hey, see how it's working.

It isn't improving.

My Lord, you know, I've never heard that.

That's great news.

I know.

Things are looking up, huh?

Yeah.

Never know, man.

It's as much yet to be had.

We're just getting started.

All right, here's a room for you.

Here's a room for rent over where KDK used to live.

KDK, rest in peace.

God damn you.

Rest in peace.

Jerk.

Old Cerebro, rest in peace.

Big baby jerky.

Whiney ass.

This number is not a working number.

Please check the number you are calling.

This is a recorded message.

Jesus Christ, man.

All circuits are busy now.

Please try to call again later.

I'm getting some weird phone problems.

Are you still there, Mugbin?

Yeah, I'm still here.

Okay.

I just got weird phone problems.

I called in and it didn't go on hold on me.

I like it.

It's weird.

I don't know.

I got weird phone problems here.

We're going to try that again.

It went to, like, Arabic.

We got international calling working again here.

I'm so excited.

We're going to have so much fun here, guys.

I'm sorry.

I have no idea how you're hearing.

I don't hear anybody else.

Do you hear ringing?

Okay.

I didn't think you would.

Something weird's happening.

Hey, you got that room for rent?

We do.

Okay.

How can I help you?

Well, I was just wondering, what kind of room?

What's the stats on the room?

Oh, I don't know.

It's an abradized room.

It's like...

Hang on, call...

I think it's 12 by 16.

Hold on.

It's upstairs, but part of it's got a roof coming down.

Yeah?

Huh?

Hey, can you hear me?

Yeah, call her.

Hang on, call her, because you can't hear the room for rent.

There's a problem in the studio.

do you hang on tight buddy all right and i'll be right back all right maybe you ought to call me

back no not you room for rent room for rent room for rent no oh you see what you did caller caller

are you there yeah i'm here it's ethan oh hey what's up man thanks i'm calling your numbers

but now right now in theory you're on the line i don't know how because i don't have any control

it's weird you you may be dropping here in a second hello ethan ethan we lost ethan shit

All right, so I guess the call-in line is working.

Give me a second.

Let me play a little bit of jazz so I can fix that.

Jesus.

Oh, I see what I did.

I got it connected on the wrong way.

Okay.

I'm still on hold.

I don't know what's...

It's crazy.

I completely killed the program.

It was popping up and...

All right, anyway.

All right.

Ethan, if you want to call back in, you can.

man, you should work now, hopefully, Big Ethan,

or anyone else who wants to call the line that has the number?

Isn't that what's going on?

Because I don't know what's going on.

No, I opened a different instance of the calling program,

and then you were still on.

I could hear you, but you were disconnected, but not.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, we'll get it, man.

We'll get it.

I'm telling you, I'm dealing with five computers

plus one virtual machine to make this all work.

So it is a fucking nightmare, son of a bitch.

What a fucking zoo, man.

You need like an octopus arm over there, man.

I need a real co-host.

Like not one that's like, oh, I'm in San Francisco.

I'm Milkman.

Like, no.

I need one that's here working on a salary.

If I could, I'd move there.

You move here.

You can't live in this house.

This is going to take some time to get used to the new setup.

Everyone, trust me, it'll be worth it.

We'll start by getting the static fixed.

Yeah.

Hello?

Yeah, hi.

I was calling before.

Talked to a man about a room for rent.

Yeah.

Okay.

Can I talk to you?

How can I help you?

Well, what can you tell me about the room?

It's a room.

It's a bedroom.

Four walls?

Yeah.

Carpet or hardwood floor?

Two windows, carpet.

Carpet?

What color carpets?

Actually, I don't know.

It's a new one.

I didn't see it yet.

Oh, good.

New carpet.

I love the smell of new carpet, you know?

Oh, I love it.

I just like to sleep on it for the first month when it's new.

Oh, I love the smell.

My dad used to work in a carpet store, you know?

Yeah.

Oh, it was great.

great it was a good time so uh was there any smoking down in this room any okay no smoking

allowed in the house okay well no tobacco or no smoking

no smoking i like this i just like to

after i read my newspaper in the morning i like to burn it you know to kind of it's kind of a good

way to it's very ecologically safe to so it doesn't litter yeah burn it you know what i mean

I don't know.

Exactly.

What the fuck?

But I still...

What?

No one's allowed to smoke.

If I don't smoke, why should anybody else?

Oh, well, excuse me.

Look at me.

Take all my rights away, right?

Yeah.

Can I smoke outside?

Of course.

Okay.

Well, I don't know if there's a rule.

How big is the room?

What are the dimensions?

It's the size of a closet.

It's the size of a closet?

I don't think...

Do you drink?

Yeah, I drink.

You sound like you do.

No, sorry, I don't.

What are you doing?

Huffing paint?

What you doing?

I'm eating dinner.

Oh, what you eating?

How does that make?

Well, because I like to know you guys got a nice stew going there sometimes.

I love the smell of carpet and stew, you know?

I love it.

Just open my door and let that waft in.

So you're saying this is like a walk-in closet you're in?

I didn't say fucking closet.

Hey, don't say fucking to me unless you're going to fuck, all right?

You just said it to me.

Unless you want to fuck, don't be saying, well, I'm a man, you're a woman, and you

shouldn't be fighting.

What kind of fucking nut job eating in the phone?

All right, is that Ethan again or someone else?

Ethan, did you make it back?

That's Ethan.

Hey, what's up, man?

What's up, man?

Hey, what's up?

Milkman, Ethan is one of the cats that showed up to New York, man,

when I had the little meet-up.

He actually was there.

Oh, okay.

I didn't hear anything about it, man.

Okay.

Hey, what's up?

Hey, Milkman, how you doing, brother?

Hey, how are you?

Hey, okay, I can't hear you.

All right, all right, man.

Good to hear you, man.

Yep, yep, yep.

Ethan, how's it been going?

What have you been up to?

How was your day?

Not bad, just the same shit, working, working.

Did you have any protein?

Every day.

What did you get, egg-based protein today, or meat?

What did you do?

I actually had both.

I had a little bit of meat in the morning, and I actually had an egg at lunch.

Oh, nice, one egg.

That's it.

Yeah, one egg.

Okay, one egg.

Any heat on that, or do you hold the heat today?

No, I didn't want any upgrades.

Yeah, you don't.

Yeah, it's a rip-off, man, fucking heat.

I can make heat right now just sitting here.

It's in my chair, you know?

I got a question for you.

What am I at?

It's going to get hot inside of you.

Yes, Milkman has a floor.

Go ahead, sir.

Hey, Ethan.

Yes, sir.

Hey, is the Armando ugly as they say he is, or is it true, or have you actually seen him?

Is who ugly?

Me, the Armando.

Am I as ugly?

I said, is it true that he's as ugly as they say he is?

Milkman, I was starstruck when I met Carlito.

Yeah, he kept rubbing my legs.

Oh, really?

You got him an autograph?

No, I didn't get an autograph.

I tried to get him to go in the bathroom with me, but his wife wouldn't let him.

Well, those bathrooms were small.

Yeah, those bathrooms were small.

But any time Athena wasn't around.

If you remember, he just had those little handlebars equipped on the side for a reason.

Yeah, Milkman, you should have seen that.

I should have brought my drill with me.

Yeah, and we pranked the next show that I did after that.

Milkman, this place had these really small bathrooms with, like, the sink was built into the bathroom.

Really?

I mean, it was maybe the size of a gallon.

You could fit a gallon of water, worth of water in this sink.

it was like really small it was like a closet it was like a class but there were boy girl boy girl

like next to each other they were all like it was yeah and it was like a men's room and then a

women's room next to it a man's a woman it was yeah it was very suspicious i think that might

have been like a sexual swingers glory hole club back in the day i think back in the before

yeah before the giuliani was in power yeah i think it was one of those you know what's funny

Johnny, that guy that, when you called, the show you did after we met up,

I think the guy that answered the phone was that big guy that we got carded at

downstairs.

He was cool because I was talking to him about medical marijuana,

and he was like, oh, yeah, that's awesome, man.

How'd you get that?

That's awesome.

I showed him the wrong card.

I showed him my medical marijuana card.

We got another caller.

Caller, you're on the air.

All right.

Shy caller.

All right.

Ethan Milkman, are you still there?

Yeah, I'm still here.

All right.

Good, good.

Hey, we should call that place.

Let me call that place.

What was that guy's name?

Joey Nails?

What the fuck?

Joey Tough Nails?

He had a funny name.

Yeah, something like that, yeah.

What the fuck was his name?

When the other person calls in, are they idling like that?

Is that how it works?

Well, I get a notification.

It goes, doot, doot, like that, which is kind of disruptive.

I'm going to get rid of that and just make it flash.

But, no, until I actually...

Do we know they're actually on there now, or is it just me?

Oh, I can tell.

I can tell.

I can tell from here.

Oh, God, yeah.

Okay, that's what I'm asking because I can't see what's going on.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I got control of it here.

I got control of it.

All right.

Cool.

Well, Ethan, you can hang out for a little bit if you want.

You want to do a call?

I don't know if you're a caller or just a vagrant listener.

Yeah, that'd be cool.

All right, here's the good old beer authority.

Beer authority.

Yeah, I don't want to interrupt, but...

Good afternoon.

Thank you.

Hello?

Yeah, hey, who's that big guy that sits in the front?

His name is Joey or something.

What's his name?

John?

John what?

Joey Gunn?

johnny guns no are you talking about the bouncer yeah the bouncer the big gal yeah his name is

joey guns yeah his name is john yeah put johnny guns on the phone put him on this is cross it's

who cross cross all right one second hurry up it's fucking loud ain't this ain't gonna last

long yeah he got all types of mad he got all types of mad because i said i was coming in with

a drill he was like no fuck i think it was like hey let me tell you what my friend you're coming

in here he was pissed yeah such a nice guy in person though he had a good conversation about

men oh he was awesome yeah yeah so this i think he's a tattoo artist on the side you think they

have a lot of tats i don't remember that's what i over yeah he had tats and he was talking one of

the waitresses about tattoos and shit and it sounded like he had a shot oh i could ask him

about that all right well we'll wait for that he's uh he'll he's still on the line they're

trying to track him down i guess he's probably busy doing tattoos and beating people up breaking

Breaking legs.

Stopping holes from being drilled in the bathroom.

Exactly, because he's a pervert.

Hey, Milkman, you have a job.

You said you're going to be in charge of reminding.

We have to call back the Hawaiian job place in about 45 minutes.

He said he was going to a meeting, remember?

45 minutes.

Yeah.

Okay.

Put that on your time sheet.

Yeah.

All right.

Put that on your time sheet.

45 minutes.

All right.

Warehouse delivery drivers.

this is another one that you sent here i think this is one of yours or one of uh no this is hey

is that joey johnny who's this hey this is cross you do tattoos on the side right i know i don't

do tattoos on the side dude oh is this johnny guns joey guns no it's not no you know who i'm

talking about yeah i know who you're talking about because he doesn't do tattoos no well

where the fuck is he he said he was gonna do a tattoo for me so you gotta call me this cell phone

gonna do well no he said to call him here you're gonna give me a cell phone number my man you

hey don't start with me don't give me that attitude that new york attitude all right

because i don't need it you don't call me who are you talking don't give me that new york african

attitude all right i'm talking to you somebody trying to die today who the fuck is this man

man they say you ain't shit i'll go there i'm gonna go there i'm gonna hit you in the head

with a beer bottle.

All right, man.

Later.

Hey, fuck you.

Okay.

Stop it, people.

Whatever that case is.

Yo, who the fuck am I talking to?

Who the fuck am I talking to?

Try him back.

So I guess Johnny, Joey,

he ain't in there today.

Now the phone line's busy.

Great.

All right.

Now, Carlito,

I was saying before,

when you get a chance,

I started laughing out loud

as soon as I saw the advertisement

for Brad's Odd Jobs.

It was in that document essential numbers.

Oh, Brad's odd jobs.

Yeah, the oddest of jobs.

What's Brad got?

He does odd jobs, landscaping trees, work dump runs, dump runs,

stump grinding, and chipping.

Chipping, okay.

All right, I'll give this guy a call.

Actually, that's good.

I'll skip that Lionel train set because fuck that.

Milkman, you ever have a Lionel train set?

I always wanted one, you know.

Yeah.

My parents never got me one.

She fucking spicks.

I would go to Toys R Us in the 80s as a little kid, and they had the Lionel train section,

and they had them all, like, on the, not on the ceiling, but they were kind of hanging,

and you could see them.

I'd just stand there, and I'd just wish I could get a train.

Yeah, I wish I, I just wish so much I could get a train.

Dude, I had one, man.

My dad gave me his old set when I was older.

Did he sell it?

I got to play with it one time.

Yeah, I got to play with it, like, one time.

Dude, but some of that train shit looks fun.

I mean, like, they got the models and all that.

It is worth money, dude.

If he were, like, left to see me, dude, I would still have it.

Yeah, Ethan, it doesn't look like Brad's odd jobs.

Oh, because I'm missing a one.

Fucking stupid idiot people, right?

Hang on.

I was going to say, I don't know how.

It's part of the advertisement.

You're right.

You're good.

You did your job as advertised.

Okay, honey baby.

Sucks about the buzzing, man.

I can't.

How am I going to do calls from the toilet?

Are you calling from a local number?

I've reached Brad's hot job.

I was supposed to leave a message on and get back to you.

I can.

See, my theory here, too, is I got it set up so they can now call back like we used to do a good ten years ago.

They get a prank call, and if they call the number back, it would come up in the studio.

And that used to be great because I get a lot of voicemails from people like,

what the fuck is your problem?

And a lot of people just call in confrontational, you know, starting shit like,

hey, you fucked me, this is that, whoop, whoop, wham.

Awesome.

Yeah, awesome.

Awesome.

But you're right.

Actually, I've learned that changing your caller ID, making it match the area you're calling, does help out a lot of times.

Not all the time, though.

I mean, we live in a different era.

I've got a non-local area code here.

But you know what?

It is a problem.

A lot of people won't pick up the phone.

Like, if I call my boss.

I don't, personally.

Yeah.

My boss is like, hey, I don't pick up the phone.

It says Orlando.

I don't know you, man.

My little boss is trying to call off sick.

It's kind of important.

I just stay at home.

Shut up!

I'm talking to the guy.

Talk to the guy.

He said, touch it on the back.

Touch it in the back.

Now, Milkman, how much is a Lionel train set?

I mean, do you have any idea how much your old man sold it for?

Milkman?

I don't know that he ever sold it.

Oh, really?

You think he just played with it?

Yeah, he was an idiot, dude.

I'd have no idea.

I think it probably disappeared.

If I'd have had it, it would have still kept its value, right?

Because I would have kept it, right?

Yeah.

Anyway, they're worth a lot.

The engines are worth anywhere from $400 to $1,000, depending on which one it is, you know, the quality of the at the box, all that shit.

Yeah, that was in the free section. That train set was free.

Yeah, I'd go for it. Do Milkman. If they'd answer, you know, I'd get you that for free. I'd actually be serious.

You know, be like, hey, my friend Milkman, he's got Down syndrome and he never got to have a train when he was a kid.

Oh, I don't want to stop my train. I took my hat, too.

I threw up.

All right, this is a weird story.

As we all know, I grew up in Orlando, went to Disney a lot,

and my parents were cheap Puerto Ricans.

So we tried to get everything free we can.

So there's a free section at Disney World.

It used to be called Disney Marketplace Village.

Now it's Disney Springs.

It was Downtown Disney, Pleasure Island for a while, blah, blah, blah.

So they had this store.

It was one of the big Disney stores,

and it had, like, a massive railroad set that went through the whole store.

and it had it was intricate really fucking intricate and i pulled a like on purpose i

pulled a uh i was maybe seven i i pulled the power on something it was like a little bridge

part that the it would go over i pulled the power to it and it derailed yeah i didn't get in trouble

for it but it derailed it like because the bridge didn't go the bridge the bridge was up it it i

I guess I noticed it would go down, so it stayed up.

Oh, you did well.

Good job.

It wasn't like, it's just like the engine, the caboose, not the caboose, but like the

engine just came off a little bit.

It wasn't like.

It went right off the cliff.

Yeah.

No, no, no.

It just, it just like, it went, it went, had to go up a ramp, and then the engine part

to kind of, to the side.

That's all that happened.

And it was, but it was still running, like the wheels going, wee, wee, like that.

and uh i remember like a kid getting upset like another kid being like i don't see the train

it's not working i want to unplug it they fixed it really quick like some it must happen a lot

but i thought i was gonna get in trouble i got scared i ran um i hid behind like clothing or

something like that i remember that i don't know why i remember shit that doesn't fucking

yeah um free home oil tank oil tank home oil stuff for heating nice some of those musicals

and i yes ethan was that ethan you got what what i said i sent you more numbers on facebook

ah yes you did yes you did i will grab those right up our milkman hung up we lost milkman

damn it milkman he'll call back your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system

fucking tom was it tom or todd tom there he is why are you hanging up milkmans why do you hang

up there you see me you hung up i heard you i saw you all i saw was you hung up that's all i saw

No, I was telling you, there was no audio.

I was saying, hello, hello, can you hear me?

Uh-uh.

No worries.

Did you hear my audio?

No.

I just saw that you hung up.

Okay, well, my audio started dropping out.

I would hear you laughing and then like nothing.

Uh-huh.

Then I would say, hello, and then like your audio would come in.

I'd say, hey, man, or something wrong with the audio, and then you went out.

And finally, it was just gone.

I just hung up.

Okay.

All right.

Well, yeah, you did the right thing, Milkman.

You see, it's working.

It's working.

Everything's working as planned.

Your audio's breaking up again.

again breaking up again is it no a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit

he's getting back to you something's going on with your computer dude oh shit too many

processes running or something because your audio is getting like packetty is it really

yeah the machine's not going oh man what about now still still packing him too he's getting

packetty not yeah everybody's getting packetty we're all packetty here all right let me shut

down a processor too let me shut down chrome's process sometimes that chrome uses up a lot of

resources you know what about now anything better did i kill chrome no you're chopping like a

motherfucker you need to kill some processes wherever whatever your main audio processors just

choppy as hell all i got running on this is this application all right let me uh restart the app

and you gentlemen call me now you wait a minute keep talking now no it's still breaking that

You're probably going to have to restart your DLLs or whatever are all fucked up.

My DLLs.

Don't run it this time.

Or if you're running a low price, maybe run one price.

You know, set the amenities and all that shit.

Oh, shit.

Well, that's long.

That's over my pay grade, man.

What are you talking about?

All right.

Hang on.

I'm going to restart.

You're chopped up.

You're chopped up bad.

Yeah.

All right.

You're crazy.

I'm going to call.

I'm going to hang out.

You guys call back.

All right.

You guys still there?

There you go.

Yeah, it is acting a little funky, isn't it?

Look at that.

Let me relaunch that.

Great.

Okay, everybody.

We'll wait on them.

Here's one.

This is Milkman.

All right, Milkman, what you got for me?

How do I sound?

You sound normal.

All right, good.

All right, connected.

Ethan again.

I hear the whole signal now, I hear.

He's good?

Is that Ethan?

Yep, he's there.

That's me.

Everybody sounds good.

Yeah, I hear him.

I hear him.

Can you hear me, Ethan?

Yep.

Yes, sir.

I sound good.

Okay, I heard him.

Okay, good.

All right, we're there, man.

We're all back.

All right, good.

Let's hear it for being back.

Yeah.

All right.

So, let's do some Parkman numbers, and we'll continue with the Ethan-less part two.

Parkman, it's right off this hill, huh?

We got jobs.

Brother.

We got jobs here.

Coffee cherry graders.

Ooh, wow, you get to grade coffee cherries, though.

That sounds fun.

Yeah, I previously graded dingleberries.

Okay, caught my ass.

Like the grand coffee, honey.

Hey, Ethan, if you want to do a prank, you holler.

It's all right.

You don't fool shop.

all right you can take this one let me do this one this is this sounds interesting the next one

is a little more you guys go ahead yeah i got it go ahead yeah we're gonna play some voicemails here

a minute that's an idea that you have hawaii employment please leave your name your number

and a brief message yeah yeah that's an idea that came from you guys at the meetup you guys

were saying hey you should get a voicemail like brad's got yeah looking like that all right let's

take a look here i got a lot of voicemail so if you want to leave a voicemail or if you want to

to call in you can 405-396-6884 that's 405 39 mouth yeah and also if you consider that five

and s it says it's four zero sex mouth if you're really yeah so and i didn't even plan that part

of it that the computer told me that i was like wow the sex mouth yeah 405 39 mouth milkman this

is a number that goes way back in 2008 i think i got this number originally uh when we went to

syndicate and first linked up with brad and pla uh originally that's where that came into yeah

that's where that came into being so this is our original machine 405-396-6884 if you're watching

on youtube over at madhouse live.com or on the madhouse radio youtube channel you're seeing that

on your screen right now i'm forgetting to do the little lower thirds and stuff i'll get it's it's a

lot of work i'll get used to it i got if you're watching the video you can see i'm like keep

I keep turning all over the place, and I keep hitting my head and biting my palms, the palms of my hands.

That's something I do when I have anxiety issues.

So, voicemail, as I was saying, they started coming in pretty much immediately after I made the announcement that we were going to open up that line.

And, and, and, and, we've got a guy.

He's been helping out.

He's been calling in every day with an obituary.

Let's play some of those real quick.

There you go.

73, Robby Nobby, who worked on the Muppet movie, apparently, in the Nutty Professor.

Wow.

Did you just play it?

Yeah, I did.

Could you not hear it?

No, I heard nothing.

Really?

Can you hear music right now?

Do you hear the jazz?

Nothing.

You don't?

Since I come back, there's been no sound effects since you recalled us.

Since I recalled you, there's been no sound effects, really.

You can hear me, though?

Nope.

You can hear me.

Yeah, hello.

Can you hear tapping right now?

Do you hear tapping?

A little bit.

Faintly.

Faint tapping, but not really loud.

Shut up.

I don't know what you're talking about there.

Someone's calling in.

Hi, thanks for calling.

Thanks for calling.

Hello.

Hey there.

Hi.

Hey, how's it going?

Good.

Are you calling to be mean?

No, Carlito.

Carlito, I love you. Is this really Carlito? Oh, my God.

Yes, Carlito Milkman, say something.

You're echoing a lot.

Hey, how's it going, man?

Milkman Carlito.

I'm going to have to disconnect because I'm hearing myself back.

You still? I turned everything off.

What?

I turned everything off.

I still hear myself.

All right, bye, buddy.

All right, bye.

No, no.

All right, cool.

We also got an obituary here.

You got to remind the callers that they need to wear headphones if they're listening to the audio if they bother to call in.

It does help out.

Or you get that same problem and your call will be disconnected by the operator.

It does help out to wear headphones.

Milkman's correct.

He is right there.

I'm going to play another obituary.

Unfortunately, you guys can't hear it, but here's one for Eric Wright, who I believe they're referring to Eazy-E.

Eric Wright, born September 7th, 1963, died in Los Angeles on the 26th of March, 1995.

Eric Wright had seven children by six different women.

The announcement that the 31-year-old was suffering from fully developed AIDS was a brave admission for a man constricted by so much cultural confusion about the origins of the disease.

A point he made in a press statement.

Eric was taken for treatment to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.

Our fans flooded the hospital with more calls than were received for the dying Lucille Ball in 1989.

He consistently said he didn't use condoms.

Was he gay?

No, there's rumors about it because it just came all of a sudden with him.

A lot of people think he got injected with it.

Would he like to download the old one?

No, I don't think, yeah.

I don't think Eazy-E was a gay.

And that's okay to be a gay.

And if he was, it's okay.

Maybe he was on the needle then.

No, no, I mean, he was all about weed.

I think he was some bitches, probably.

But the big rumor, the rumors that he got injected with blood.

He had, someone had a vendetta, whether it was Suge Knight or the Jews.

Wow.

Jewish Defamation League that they

had him injected with HIV

infected blood and that's how

he ended up going full blown so fast

and I don't know

we know that great tennis player died from

a transfusion and the person that gave him

the blood had AIDS

Arthur Ashe

Arthur Ashe yeah

he wasn't gay

Arthur Ashe

I'm pretty sure Arthur Ashe was a gay

he wasn't a gay

I read an article today

day that michael jackson was castrated no shit yeah well i mean a rumor you know how it is but

they're saying that was why his voice was like that he was actually castrated i mean that's

something they used to do back in roman times they would take the kids that sang good before

their before they hit puberty they cut their balls off so that they wouldn't hit puberty and

they would keep they kept the the soprano voice or not the soprano i guess but whatever the voice

it was. That type of voice.

They call them castrati. That's where the

tame castration came from.

So I hear.

I don't know if these things are true.

I'm not a history scientist.

I'm not a history

scientist, so don't even

go there. Alright, let's do some more

pranks. We're playing Eazy-E now

in memory of Eazy-E dying.

That sucks. Yeah, I know.

You guys can't hear music or the voicemail.

Could you hear the music before?

Was it working before?

Yeah.

It was working?

Everything was working before.

No shit.

I don't know.

Weird.

Before the reboot.

Before the restart of the program.

Okay, we'll get there.

As long as you guys can hear the calls, which you can, then we're okay.

Exactly.

I don't know if I hear a call.

This one is Tim Ho Wen, Cafe Server Positions.

Ethan, you want to do a call for a cafe server?

It's in Hawaii.

Yeah, sure.

It's in Hawaii.

Kanaka, please.

Kanaka, yes.

Hello, thank you for calling T01.

Here is Yoyo speaking.

How can I help you today?

Hey, big lady.

I'm calling about the fucking job you have in the paper.

Uh, sorry?

I'm calling about the job you have in the server position.

Uh, so now just the host and then the kitchen.

Okay, I mean, I'm calling about the job.

What can you tell me about it?

Uh, okay.

Are you going to tell me about it?

Or are you just going to say okay?

What's going on over there?

You're paying the office?

Uh, I'm just talking about maybe I find a manager, okay?

Yeah, find the manager. Good job, honey. Thank you. Thank you. Proud of you.

Good afternoon. Do you start speaking?

Yeah, hey. I'm calling about the job.

Uh, for job?

The one you have, the server position.

Unfortunately, we do not hire any front of the house so far. Only back of the house. It's opening.

Oh, yeah.

How did you hear about us?

Uh, my friend recommended it to me. He, uh, he says that he was tapped in one of the employees there and I should apply.

Who's your friend?

No, my friend doesn't work here. He knows some of the girls that work there. I don't know any of them.

You used to work here?

Is there somebody else I can talk to that understands what I'm saying?

Because we're having a blanket barrier and it's starting to really piss me off.

I'm sorry, your voice is breaking up. I cannot hear you.

No, it's not. Let me talk to you in charge.

Okay, so usually, uh, Kenny and I just come over here physically and grab the applications, and we see if we need, and we give us a call.

Who are you? Are you the manager?

I cannot hear you, sir.

Are you the manager?

Yes, I am the manager.

Yeah, I don't like your fucking attitude.

Hello? Hello?

I don't like your fucking attitude, pal.

I'm sorry, can I hear you? Hello?

Yeah, okay, you lying motherfucker.

Alright, he hung up.

Hello, thank you for calling. How can I help you?

Uh, Carlito?

Yeah, this is Carlito.

This is she.

Nice.

Hi.

Long time listener, man.

Good to see you.

Is here Jim Bob?

How may I help you?

How you doing, Jim Bob?

That's me, Jim Bob.

That's your Jim Bob.

That's right.

How may I help?

Do you have a coat?

Yeah, Monique, though.

You're busy right now.

I'm looking for a machine.

Machine?

Oh, yeah, we got plenty of those.

What kind of spaces do you need on it, though?

That's where we get you.

Yeah, well, I want the horses.

Oh, yeah, well, you know, that's a big investment, a lot of time.

You've got to breed the horse machine.

You've got to know what you're doing with the horse machine.

I'm the horse machine.

I know how to work the horse machine.

Oh, okay.

Good, good.

Do you prefer female or male horse machines?

I'm not biased, you know.

I work both of them evenly.

Okay, cool, cool.

Do you have a code name, a pranker name, or are you just calling?

No, I'm just a long-time listener and just wanted to call.

and it's actually my first live show

that I've caught

and I've been listening to it

for like seven or eight years.

Oh, cool.

Who is that?

Is that Frank Master?

Master?

No.

Who is that?

No, I mean,

you can just call me Ferguson.

Big Ferguson.

Okay.

All right.

Cool.

Turn Ferguson.

Ferguson.

Okay.

It sounds like Frank Master.

It does not sound like

Frank Master at all.

That sounds nothing like

Frank Master.

Jesus.

Anyway.

Well, thanks for calling in,

Ferguson.

Send, uh, then...

Well, it might be a quality audio, or I have to listen to his voice better, man.

I guess.

Yeah, sure.

Well, Ferguson, you're welcome to be...

Complimented.

Isn't that right, sir?

Yeah, dude.

Hey, Prankmaster's slimming up.

He got the, uh, surgery.

He had the weight loss surgery.

Really?

He's looking good.

Yeah, he's got pictures on the Facebooks.

Tell everybody to be careful that there's a high percentage of those people get that

to be alcoholics after that operation, dude.

Are you for real?

Really?

Look it up, man.

I wonder what that is.

Why does that lead to alcoholism?

that's something you start drinking your calories shit i guess because you because that's probably

people that get like a good afternoon cafe florian yeah how you doing hello yeah you got jobs you got

jobs kitchen help did you want to come by and ask for god damn it woman i tell you what you

listening to me yes we are looking for employees okay all right all right and it's best if you come

in with the resume but what kind of kitchen help are you looking for people to wash the dishes to

to clean the floor in the bathroom?

It's cooking and maintenance as well.

What about prep?

Like, cooking and cleaning.

Prep work?

Mm-hmm, that too.

Okay, what about looking at the women,

looking at them and telling them?

Like, one of my duties at my current job

are the waitresses come in,

they're brought in to me,

and I'm supposed to...

Just come in with a resume.

Well, I tell the women, you know, how they look,

how they look that day.

All right, cool.

Did you guys hear the goddamn...

What? Do what now?

Did you hear? Tell me if you hear this.

Are you horsing around or masturbating a horse? Now I hear you.

Did you hear the, did you, tell me if you hear this.

God damn it, woman.

Did you hear God damn it, woman?

God damn it.

Now I heard it.

Good, good, good.

All right, I think I figured it out.

I think I figured it out.

I heard some horse masturbation going on there because I went quiet for a second.

Did it really?

Do you hear Eazy-E now?

We were in our own room talking and you wasn't there.

Sorry, guys. I'm trying.

Now you're patched in.

Do you hear music?

I don't hear any music.

No, I don't hear any music.

Nope.

No.

You should ask the expert, Brad Carter.

Yeah, I guess. I think Brad Carter left a voicemail, actually. Let's see what that was.

It might be the fake Brad Carter.

Unfortunately, you guys can't hear him because I'm a fat piece of shit that doesn't know how to work his shit right.

He's doing bad.

Hey, Carlito, it's Brad, your BFF Brad.

Brad. Welcome back to Thursdays.

Bye. Yay. Brad said

welcome back to Thursdays and it's your friend.

He said better friend than Milkman. He said

Milkman. So what do you think about that?

Aw. Thank you. I love you.

I missed you too, Brad.

Oh, man. He didn't say that.

He didn't say that much, but he said he was a friend.

A friend. Which is something you haven't

even said tonight. You've been a Romano

this and a Romano that, but not once have you called me

a friend. Just saying. Think about it.

Brad's always been a friend. I thought.

You. You have not been a friend.

Baby, you're mad at me.

You are not the friend.

You are not being very friendly to me.

I'm upset.

To you?

Yeah, you've been really mean to me.

Oh, honey, baby, I'm sorry.

Come here.

Let me give you a hug.

Okay, honey, baby.

Oh, there you go.

All right, cool.

All right.

Let's get back to the calls, motherfuckers.

I patted you on the back, not on the fanny.

Chief Luau Escort.

Hey, real quick, Ferguson, are you still there, sir or ma'am?

Yeah, I'm here.

Ferguson, what's your favorite kind of prank that I do, or what you've been hearing this

– not to put you – if you don't have one, that's fine.

You can say that.

I'm in the Bay Area.

In the Bay.

Oh, Milkman.

Yeah.

Oh, you might have a gentleman caller somewhere.

Actually, I'm going to try to make the meetup if you make it out.

See, he's in the Bay Area, Milkman, over there where you are with the gays.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah.

Are you one of the homeless people that have taken over the Bay Area?

Yeah.

Yeah, I wish they would leave.

Yeah, it's gross.

Anyway, favorite type of prank that I've done that we do here?

I love your fireworks in the hotel room, Frank.

Really?

Yeah.

Did they work?

I think I did them on Dwight's last week.

We're trying to fine-tune the sound effects right so that they sound believable.

The first time we did it, it was awesome.

Yeah, it's fun.

Yeah.

Freaks the people.

I love those.

Any of the Orkutine Ranch stuff is awesome, too.

Ah, like, okay.

Okay.

The calls to that one town in Tennessee or wherever I call.

I gotcha Rogers fucking horse machine lawyer from Connecticut hey man I'm

getting packets right what's that call start to get back maybe I can't add too

many calls at once that might be part of the problem I don't know I'm just

wondering how many is it like is it possible because we have like two or

three callers on a queue and then adding a call with another computers that

That's starting to attack somewhat, you know what I'm saying, the process.

It might be.

How's my packet lost now?

How are we sounding now?

Is it bad?

I'm not hearing packets on you.

Okay.

It was during the call.

I started to hear hamburger during the call.

All right.

Thanks, Ferguson, for joining.

Thanks for being on.

Yeah, yeah.

It's been nice to meet you, bro.

Yeah, I've been a long time listening.

It's an honor to be on the show, man.

Rock on.

Keep up the good work.

All right, man.

Thanks for calling in, man.

Nice to meet you, man.

We'll talk to you next time.

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah.

Peace.

Yeah.

All right.

Ethan's still here.

Here's a call coming in right now.

I think we're allowed up to two calls at once.

Hello, Madhouse Machine.

Yeah, maybe.

I'm going to help you.

Hey, Kalita.

How you doing?

Hey, how you doing, sir?

Oh, man.

Good, bro.

Calling from New Zealand.

New Zealand.

Wow.

You guys have telephones there.

All right.

Nice.

Yeah, man.

I'm sitting at my desk at work listening to you guys carrying on.

Oh, wow.

What time is it over there?

Key Weeks.

uh 12 20 in the afternoon just after midday oh shit you're in the car from the future that's

awesome man what can we what can you tell me some stock advice for the future tomorrow like

that was really that was talk advice yes that hey uh do you guys have animosity with the

australians at all like are you guys cool with each other there's like sports rivalry

Rivalry.

I suppose that.

Hello?

Oh, sports rivalry.

Hello?

Yeah, hey, Milkman.

What's up?

He dropped off, I think.

Someone dropped off.

I started hearing packets on him.

That's why I said hello.

Oh, he dropped off.

Ethan, I'm going to let you go because I think it's too many people connected at once.

We'll get this better, but thanks for joining, man.

It's just in the numbers.

I'll come when we need it.

I'll figure it out.

All right, see you.

No problem.

Later, guys.

Hey, nice to meet you, bro.

Peace, man.

Hello?

Yo.

Yo?

Where'd you go?

I'm here.

All right, so you're saying there's a sports rivalry kind of thing?

Yeah, traditional sports rivalry with rugby and whatnot.

All right.

And are you the ones that have the rugby team where you're like,

Como je, oh, oh.

You're like, slap your thighs and all that?

Yeah, yeah, that's the All Blacks.

That's the traditional thing.

Well, you guys don't all do that every time.

They wear little shorts and no pads.

Most of the national teams, the male teams will do that, whatever sport it is.

Oh, really?

Even like basketball, they'll go out there and be like, boom, boom, boom.

Hey, are the female teams topless?

Yeah.

Just for you, Milkman.

Yes.

Nice.

All right.

Now, that's my thing, man.

That's cool.

I'll get CNN just so I can watch that.

There you go.

Good deal.

All right.

Hey, look, I've got to say, it's wonderful.

It's really good to have you guys back on air, especially Milkman.

Man, I mean, I thought you died or something, right?

Well, like I said, he...

Dude, I was, man.

I was in the hospital for a little while, man,

but I got resuscitation, man.

Aaron Monino revived, man.

I had an overdose on the darn pineapple.

Come back, man.

I think I'm back.

Yeah, then I was like,

he just has to take a shit and, you know,

brought a bedpan on him.

He took this massive dump.

We're calling for an accountant, Joe.

He's 35 pounds lighter.

Hello?

Oh, she hung up.

She hung up because Milkman was talking.

I'm here I'm calling someone hang on you can you can chill hello all right hello god damn

fucking Kimmy she heard a little bit of milkman talking and she instantly was like I ain't gonna

talk to those people hey milkman's such a lovely man man talk like this yeah yeah yeah New Zealand

go ahead Hermano can I take your call sure sure I've got a goat dairy herd assistant job

What's your name?

I think that's your name.

You like goats?

Lucas.

Oh, wow.

Lucas was a movie about that nerd who played local, I think.

What's the call about?

It's a job for goat dairy herd assistant.

You know what a herd is?

Okay.

Do you have goat machines over there?

Yep.

I got goat machines.

They have sheep machines, too.

They got some good sheep out there.

Hello.

You have reached Hawaii Island Goat Dairy.

I ain't going to work.

We got the next one.

Don't worry.

Don't panic.

We got security officer jobs.

I know you guys have security there.

Love it.

Yeah.

How's that New Zealand Navy doing?

You guys have an aircraft carrier?

No.

No, we got a couple of frigates, and that's about it.

Are you a Commonwealth country?

We are.

Okay.

It consists of all fine aircraft.

Nice.

Well, just call it.

We'll try and sell you some new airplanes if you want us to be quiet about it.

Hello?

Yeah.

Yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, mate, I'm calling about the security position.

Are you looking for immediate starts?

I'm sorry?

I'm calling about the security position.

Yes, we have many positions open all over the Hawaiian Islands.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, honey, can you tell me more about that?

Okay, so let me know what island you are on right now.

Big Island.

All right, so we have two main offices on Big Island.

One's in Kono, one is in Hilo.

What side are you close to?

Uh-huh. Hilo.

Okay, so we have some regular security officer positions

as well as airport officers at Hilo Airport.

Okay.

Yeah.

Do I get to operate the security cameras, or what do I do?

It depends on the site.

So some sites require you to do that.

Some require just patrols.

Some require you to stand on the street, for example, at the airport

or do patrols at the airport.

It really depends on the site you're a go-to.

Right. And I want to bring my own gun. Can I do that?

You cannot, unless you become an Air Force officer.

It is two years of law enforcement experience, or at least two years in military police.

Okay, honey. Are you a kanaka?

Sorry?

I'm a kanaka. Are you a kanaka?

What is kanaka? Can you explain that to me?

It's like a kaheka, but a kanaka heka. You know?

Can you explain it?

Yeah, yeah, let my buddy Khalid, he'll explain.

Yeah, hey, how you doing?

How's it going?

Kaheka to you.

Hey, so, yeah, are you guys, this is a Kanaka kind of outfit, or Howley?

It depends site to site.

So, you know, we do have local workers as well as non-local workers.

I mean.

Well, that's my son you're talking to, and as you can tell from his accent, he ain't from around here, all right?

Yeah.

He's from the Pacific, but he ain't from Hawaii.

And he has a fear of, like, people with darker skins because, you know,

I don't know if you know the history of where he's from in New Zealand,

but they were attacked by the Japanese and the Hawaiians during World War II.

So he's got bad blood.

Yeah.

But he will prefer to work with Haoles.

That's why I carry a gun.

Yeah.

He will prefer to work with Haoles.

I see.

Are you, I mean, what are you, what's your ethnicity?

My ethnicity?

city i work at out of the oahu office i am one filipino portuguese oh that's disgusting disgusting

yeah fuck that yeah no that's disgusting who's gonna be signing the checks what's in there what's

the what's the name i do not have the name of the person that will be signing your check

uh do you have someone who speaks english that we can talk to i actually have a uh you have

nothing you have shit you have shit motherfucker you got someone who speaks english over there

Fucking idiot.

What?

Let me speak to the manager.

Get a man on the phone.

Yeah, get a man.

Goddamn you.

Hello?

Yes, hello.

How can I help you?

Yeah, is this the manager?

Yes.

Are you Kaneka or Howley?

I'm sorry?

Are you Kaneka or Howley?

I'm not sure what you're talking about.

No, I'm just trying to see.

Are you Howley or Kaneka?

I know you know what that is.

Are you an applicant?

Or are you...

My son's an applicant.

Now I'm trying to get this out because that man over there was saying dirty things.

And where is he?

So your son would like to apply with us?

Yeah, I'll put him on.

Yes, yes, I would love to.

Now that we've got a man on the phone.

Yeah, yeah.

Go ahead, son.

Yeah, yeah, I want a job, buddy.

Okay.

I heard you've got security work.

Yes.

The guy before, he was explaining that I'll be working in the airport,

and I get to go in the bags and sniff the panties and look through the underwear.

No, that's not part of my job duties.

No, that's what he was saying, and it sounds amazing.

Okay.

Are you currently on the business now?

Are you currently on the Big Island right now?

Yes.

What part of town do you live in?

We're by Goat Machine Ranch Road.

I'm sorry?

Goat Machine Ranch.

Okay, I'm not sure if you're being serious or not.

Yes.

Okay.

Are you not a local or something?

Have you completed the application?

Have I done?

Yes.

Have you already completed the application?

Correct.

Okay, and what's your last name so I can look you up?

Kanaka.

And your first name?

Roger.

Okay, I don't see any applications by that name.

When did you fill out the application?

Five minutes ago.

Okay.

Do you know what website you applied on?

It was on the Craigslist.

Okay, that's where the job would have been listed, but what website did you actually complete the application on?

Look, buddy, you're really dicking me around here.

Do I get to sniff the panties or not?

No, he's gone.

Oh, well.

Hey, how are you doing, man?

What are you doing, Malcolm?

I kept him on for a minute.

Hey, the alarm's gone off for you to make your call.

Oh, you're boiling some tea?

All right, we'll call that shit.

We've got to call back at that number we called there first.

Let's see if they answer, sure.

Uh, good call.

At the goat machine.

No, this is the guy who's like, I got a meeting to go to.

I can't talk right now.

Yeah, we're good.

Thanks for the backup there, Carlito.

Hey, no problem.

I know how to pull him back in, you know.

This is my first rodeo.

They put your GPS in your box and a trap door at the bottom.

So when you die, you open that trap door at the bottom,

you check the GPS, and you go straight down to the hell.

Madhouse Radio is back.

You are bigger than a woman.

You are better than a woman.

We'll always be behind you.

Do not let a woman ever, ever make you who you are.

There it goes.

Hey, everybody.

I'm back.

I'm Carlito.

I'm the host of the show.

I think you guys can hear me okay.

Milkman, are you here?

Milkman?

Oh, hi.

technical problems fixed for now we'll see how they hold up hopefully the thing don't break again

but the duct tape put on there buddy yeah we were planning i was planning on taking a break

about 10 minutes after the shit just crashed so figured just roll it into the break and come

right back in so we we lost maybe 15 minutes worth of show sucks because we had over 100 people

listening and we were really starting to

you know get our thing down

well you had to take a break

so now we're back

yeah well the dog had to be walked

you know how that is

might as well take this stupid break

thanks for everyone who's made it back

if you knew someone who was listening

and got lost in a shuffle

maybe let them know hey your old pal Carlito

and your older pal Milkman

are back for another hour

we got about one more hour

one more hour

And here's a job.

I don't know if it's Chile.

What's a five-hour difference?

Four-way club?

We should be able to get some Hawaiian jobs, too.

Damn you.

Yes, you level.

Damn it.

Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.

Haven't heard that one in a while on this show, huh?

Milkman, remember that shit?

Yeah, right.

I forgot about that guy.

That was our first regular target 13 years ago, man.

That was the original.

original sam the donut man bro all right here is an aquarium looking for what press eight to report

an animal in distress oh shit animal in distress i'm the monterey bay aquarium our offices are

currently closed oh no the aquarium is open daily i guess it's at 5 p.m if you have an animal in

distress fuck up all right a sperm bank milkman you're a big fan of masturbation sperm bank right

right here milkman do you ever masturbate do you find it weird to masturbate with your c-pad mask

on because i can't do it i've tried and i'm like i can't do this and i take it off and i finish my

business and then i put the c-pad back on that well i'm not saying like it doesn't make it any

better i just think it's weird like i can't jerk off of the seat what am i like oh fucking darth

vader oh you know like well i mean i guess you could i mean i suppose it could i mean i just

figured it'd be in the way well i can't do it no thank you thank you for calling

Well, if you're going to play with it, just take the mask off for a minute.

Take the business out.

I'll call the old lady.

Oh, man.

But, you know, Parkman said this place is open until 9.

That ain't open until 9.

That's the way to do your sperm, though, man.

You got to cryo-freeze that shit, you know?

Make sure it lasts.

Cryo-freeze it.

Power-freeze it.

Cryo, cryo, cryo, cryo, cryo, man, cryo.

Dude, I think that's so much fresh, dude.

I don't really have to do it.

If I were you, dude, I'd be like, if I compared you to stuff, that's a keeper's tat.

Hell yeah.

Weekend maids.

That's a good side hustle right there, Milkman.

You should think about that.

Pick up a job as a maid.

As a maid?

Really?

Yeah, M-A-I-D.

Milkmaid.

This number is not in service.

This call will be recorded by Google for quality services.

This call's not in service

It'll be recorded

Oh wait, okay

I was gonna call somebody

I'm on a whole thing crack

Yeah, I tried

I tried when we came back

It wasn't a

They're closed

It says they're closed now

That guy was

Yeah, they closed

He was

I think he was just trying to leave work

He said it's a meeting

Bullshit

Alright

You know how they are

Those people

Yeah

Yeah, he sounded pretty creepy

uh sugarland ever heard of a band called sugarland didn't they have like a big

accident on the stage once that sugarland like a couple years ago

explain that i formed a group of about 100 people to protest sugarland's comments on

ice and the keep families together movement yeah

hi is this the concert yeah oh good nice that's good when does sugarland make concert

the sugarland concert yeah it just started about 20 minutes ago oh wow uh can are you near where

the concert is yeah i'm in the administrative office oh can you put the phone up so i can hear

you can't hear it from in here but you take the phone there please i can't please i know it's too

Too far. The phone is on a cord. I can't stretch it that far.

Oh, do you have cell phone? What's your cell phone? I'll call you.

I'm not allowed to do that.

Please? I'll give you, like, you know, whatever you want. I'll give you pineapple.

No, that's okay.

I'll give you oral. Oral. I'll let you sit on my face and fart and piss on it.

Oh, man. I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan.

What?

I'm seriously, Milkman. I'm seriously. I'm a big fan, seriously, of the Sugar Land.

Hey.

Hi.

Am I what, sir?

Thank you for calling the Ohio State University ticket office.

The call audio is kind of low coming to me, but you're a lot louder in the call.

Our offices are now closed.

Please call during our normal business hours of 9 a.m. to 5.30.

Sat on these too long there, buddy.

All right.

Let's see here.

Carlitos Cafe and Cantina.

Oh, boy.

Did the audio improve at all during that?

Do you know?

Did it?

Didn't hear anybody's voice.

If their voice was that loud, it's a lot better.

Is it?

All right, we're back to 81 listening.

This is Galito Delizio speaking.

How may I help you?

Hey.

Motherfucker.

Chinga.

Que tu puta madre.

Hijo de puta.

Hello.

Muy bien.

Can I make an order, please?

How old am I?

Yeah, that's a lot better.

That was a lot better.

Did you hear the sound effect, Elyse?

Did you hear that?

Oh, yeah.

I heard her voice a lot louder, though.

It was good, yeah.

No, but did you hear the Mexican guy cursing in Spanish?

Yeah, all right.

Good, good, good.

Good, good.

All right.

Yeah, I said,

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You said that.

And then she said,

All right.

About 40 minutes up to show.

I missed my Homer,

So, it's time to start wrapping it up.

Eventually.

Hello, can I make an order, please?

Sorry, there's, like, curse...

I'm sorry?

Hello?

Yeah, can I make an order, please?

Yeah, of course.

Okay.

I'm sorry, there's, like, curse...

We're going to have fun with Madhouse again.

As soon as they get these checklists.

Hello, this is Madhouse. How can I help you?

Motherfucker, chingas a tu puta madre, hijo de puta

He hung up

Milkman, I had you on hold

I'm sorry, man

I'm so sorry

I'm doing it

I'm a stupid fucking

I'm a stupid fucking, man

I'm hoping some of these motherfuckers are called back, too

Milkman

Do I got you still?

Good, okay

Good, I got you

If anyone wants to call in

The voice line is still open

405-396-6884

That's 405-39

Mouth

M-O-U-T-H

Are you up to any IRC chat or anything like that?

I am monitoring IRC and high drinks.

Yes, sir.

Noonoo's out there.

He's saying hi to Noonoo.

Noonoo's out there.

Noonoo's out there?

Yeah.

MSC 3 Clay is in the house.

Oh, shit.

Yo, Barton.

Noonoo.

Howdy.

Yo, Barton.

My old buddy did it.

Dwight the janitor.

You've been invited.

MSC 3 Clay, buddy.

Yeah, man.

You need to get in the Discord chat.

The guys are saying they wanted you to come in, you know?

Greenbee's in.

Oh, really?

yeah they want you to come in there and be a chat it's a really nice this is all news to me

so like you know we gotta talk about this afterwards and i just want to say how they

did okay well cool anybody else i know in there uh you know the guy the guy that called in earlier

no i'm kidding uh let me see let me see let me i gotta get the list in front of me because i

don't worry about it no no no no no no no no no no no i gotta hear hang on uh you know brad carter

he's there your boy brad uh let's see here i don't think you know any of these white people here

uh connor's here you know connor and uh dixon butts is here and ducky and elkie's here elkie's

He's a big fan of yours.

And, yeah, they're all here.

KDK's here.

Jag TV.

They're all here, man.

They're all here.

All right.

Bob Vance, Lysol.

Hey, man, welcome.

All right.

Cool, man.

Glad to be here, man.

Everyone's in.

There's a bunch of people over there.

Fat Dumb Clay, Dust Bernadette says.

Dust Bernadette is not your friend.

He's a bad person.

He's very mean to you.

And angry.

He's very mean to you all.

He says the worst stuff about you.

He's like, I hate Milkman.

Bring Matt Hill on.

Oh, be nice.

He's on Team Matt.

I'm alive now.

Yeah, he's on Team Matt.

Team Matt Hillock.

Matt loves you, man.

You know Matt is a big fan of yours.

Oh, I like Matt.

Matt's the man.

I don't care, man.

They can all be pissed at me, but I like Matt.

That's cool.

I ain't got no problem with Matt.

Hell yeah.

Well, I'm alive now, so if you ain't got any reason to be mad, now I'm alive.

Don't be my bitch.

Yeah, you son's a bitch.

Okay, and now the Lower Thurs don't want to work.

Yay!

Hey!

Hey, this is cool having the phone line working again, man.

That was fun.

When people call in, yeah, it's fun.

Yeah, what happened to John?

Well, no one's used to that.

Hell no, it's not that for like, what, eight years?

Has it ever happened to John?

Dude, John, I did a call-in show.

Brad has like an interview call-in show.

He had me on as a guest, and Jonathan called in, and he was, yeah, he was all excited.

He sounds just the same.

He's still driving buses, man.

He's still doing his thing, yeah.

I forgot to ask him about the cookies you're always telling him to make for you.

But, yeah, he's still on.

Well, you have to send him a message.

Tell him I'll ask him.

He's got to get my call back.

Yeah, you need to get them sugar-free cookies because you're watching your weight now, if you know what I mean.

Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

All right.

All right, let's order some contacts, Milkman.

You want to order some contacts?

You want to do a call?

Hell, let's do it.

Oh, shit.

Someone was calling in.

I didn't get to it in time.

If you're calling in, feel free to call in again.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, I'm getting used to the setup.

Please don't be sore.

Don't be angry.

Anyone who wants to call in.

Thank you for calling 1-800-CONTACT.

This call will be recorded and monitored for quality and training purposes.

My name is Cannon.

What can I help you with today?

Are you computers?

Oh, no, I'm a real person.

You sound like a computer.

I know.

I get that all the time.

Oh, yeah.

Why do you sound like that?

You don't have any emotions?

Yeah, I don't have any emotions.

Were you emotionally abused as a child?

Come on, man.

It wasn't that bad yet.

That was not that bad

Thank you for calling in to the emotionally abused child line

Hello

Caller

Please be nice

That might be people that we prank called calling back

So I gotta get a system

So I can actually see what's the ID

You know

I think that was

I think you touched a nerve there man

At least you know I'm driving in on that

I'm a fucking psychic are you kidding

That guy he sounds like a robot though

you heard him freaking mind reader that's what i was going to move freaking mind reader hi thank

you for calling this call will be monitored and recorded for quality and training purposes

i need to speak to a representative representative representative fucking i hate these fucking

computers um this is a computer it's a representative representative how can i help you i like to speak

to a representative yeah i am a representative oh i'm sorry i thought you were computer no you're

You're fine. How can I help you?

Okay. Do you get that a lot, that you sound like a computer?

No, not most of the time, no.

Do you get it a lot when the guy stands behind you and smells your hair a little bit?

No.

Comments on your musculature?

No.

Okay. All right. You sound like you have a very muscular kind of shoulder area.

Oh, well, thanks.

All right. Let's contacts. We're talking contacts. My friend Milkman here needs contacts.

That's what we call him, Milkman. All right, Milkman. Milkman.

Yes.

Yes, I need some.

She's gone.

Barely see.

You killed it, Milkman.

It was you.

She heard that.

Ew.

I know my voice is horrible, dude.

That's why I said we're going to have to ease me in.

We need to get you some voice training classes.

Thank you for calling 1-800-CONTACTS.

This call will be monitored and recorded for quality and...

Representative.

Fucking computers, man.

Representative.

That's the guy.

That's the emotionally abused guy.

I think they got a total of two people

may be working there let's see if someone else is a caller hello hello hi is this carlito i'm

carlito how can i help you uh it's nico calling nico oh dude this is nico milkman do you know

nico from facebook i don't think so i know him from uh nico lives in canada and hates yeah i've

been a fan for a long time and you hate milkman a lot no i just hated his crappy audio back in

the day well i don't know you said some mean things about milkman on facebook you know and

everything that way maybe you should apologize no way i didn't i didn't say anything mean did i

you said i just said that was better in my opinion because i could always hear matt

and when he laughs it's awesome yeah anyways the last track there um i was actually got a question

for the milkman there um you mentioned that you had uh died for a little bit there do you did

Did you have a near-death experience?

Like, was there anything weird that happened to you?

Well, there was a real bright light, and I saw a frog.

Is that all you remember?

I see God every day, actually.

No, yeah, we had a conversation, and he said I need to, he told me I need to lay off the pineapple.

I need to get back with Carlito and work this thing out.

Here on this planet, it's very short.

So, well, you told me everybody's life is very short, even the Armanitas.

Oh, my God, it's very short.

season is going to be the better the best yet everything about me yeah for sure anyways um

yeah i just wanted to welcome milkman back and say hey to carlito and i'll give you a call

whenever you're doing the show again that's cool it's good to hear you finally like i've talked to

you online i've seen you all over facebook you can see this is why we need that yeah you finally

got a phone line hooked up to it so that's cool yeah all right cool well don't be a stranger

all right okay talk to you later thanks for calling and asking everybody thank you so much

It's big Nico.

Nico.

Yeah.

This is working out.

I told you this was going to be a plot.

And I told you you had a lot of fans.

You didn't want to believe me.

I said, Milk, when you got a lot of fans, man, don't die again.

I promise, man.

No one knows about me.

No one knows me.

They don't even remember me.

All they know is Dwight McClendon.

Thank you for calling Bob Barker Company.

Bob Barker?

Whoa.

Our office is currently closed.

Of course it is.

Because we're calling liberal California

Where they only work half the day

Because they're all in the unions

Endless pools

Thank you for calling

Hello

Hey what's up Carlito

Hi I'm Carlito

Hey Milkman please be nice

Hello

Milkman

Hey Milkman

Hey

Who's calling in

This is

This is Dom the Bomb

What's up

Oh shit it's Dom the Bomb

Dom, I don't think Milkman's ever heard your pranks.

Milkman, Dom does, he has a prank show, and he's good people.

You said John the Bomb?

Dom, Dom, Dom, as in Dominic the Donkey?

Yeah.

Dom, okay, Dom, my guy.

Yeah, Dominic the Donkey.

Tapping in.

Yeah, man, Dom.

He's good people.

Dom, he had me.

I don't know everybody's names and voices, so I'm sorry.

I was off the planet for a little while, but I'm returning back to life.

See, and you thought people didn't know who you were, Milkman.

That's cool, dude.

Yeah, Dom actually recorded our new podcast intro for us, and he did a show on the last

Prankscaving.

He took a segment.

Yeah, him and Strangelife.

Okay.

Good group of eggs, man.

Good people.

Solid, baby.

All right.

Thank you, Carlito.

Everyone, check out Mixer.com slash Stupid Foam Brothers.

No, I'm kidding.

Super Foam Brothers.

I cracked my...

You put that in your intro.

You're like, did I hear that on your intro, or did I imagine that?

No, I said it.

Like, after you typed it, I said it.

Oh, I thought I heard it on your intro.

You were playing an intro to your last show,

and I thought I heard myself saying stupid phone brothers.

Like, you had a recording of me saying it and playing it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You do say that, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry.

You're not stupid.

Smart phone brothers.

No, I'm pretty stupid.

Yeah, it's good.

You can be stupid.

It's all right.

I'm ignorant, man.

I love being ignorant.

Walk around eating steaks in my car without a fork and knife.

The guy that makes the mashed potato sandwich, he invented the Jack Master.

I'm just looking to get choked, looking to choke.

Dom does prank calls.

Dom, I'm going to call a place for pet meds.

You're welcome to jump in or sit back and chill, whatever you want.

Let's do it.

Unless you have a question.

I actually wanted to tell a milkman.

Calling 1-800-PETMEDS, America's largest pet pharmacy.

Go ahead, Dom.

What do you want to tell milkmans?

Because, you know, I'm from Northern California, but I'm always out in San Francisco.

So I was wondering, hey, Milkman, does your fucking van on the side of it say Milkman?

Because there's this Milkman truck that I see all the time, every single time I go to

San Francisco, and it says Milkman on it.

So I'm like, dude, is that a fucking Milkman?

And I'm like, yo.

You got to get a picture of that one, dude.

You got to get a picture of that one, man.

And send it to me.

All right, next time I'm out there, I'll take a pic.

I'll send it to Carlitos.

I wonder what that is.

You think it's probably some stinky hippie selling raw milk out of his van, right?

That's my guess, being San Francisco.

He probably has like a cow.

I have seen everything, dude.

But that one I have not seen.

That's why I'm really like, really, dude.

Definitely get a picture of him.

Let me ask you.

You're our chief dairy correspondent here.

What do you know about raw milk?

Are you afraid of it?

Do you believe in it?

Do you think it has all these benefits that they say with your allergies and your autism?

Look, dude, you can drink a milk right off the titty of the cow.

No kidding.

I mean, it's always been like that.

That's all raw milk is.

You're just drinking the shit.

It's not being heated.

It's not being shook up.

Nothing, dude.

It hasn't been cut.

You're just drinking the shit straight out.

You know, it's just coming out.

That's raw milk.

Right, right.

Is anything wrong with that 99% of the time?

No.

Could something be wrong with that?

Well, it's possible, but I'd say very unlikely.

Right.

I think people have been able to drink milk from the titty long before they had eaters.

Yeah, that's true.

I've had raw milk in Puerto Rico, but again, it was like a family cow.

My granddad had like eight of them.

doing right now you're not talking about somebody out in the field slung a you know piece of shit

up on there and then yeah there's shit everywhere and the cows are in their shit yeah you know yeah

yeah they're milking and also they're not refrigerating it right that's the other problem

well when i was a kid okay when my aunt milked a cow okay first time i ever seen milk like that

she squirted milk in my mouth and then the cat the cat got there and waited for him to squirt it

in the mouth right and took that bucket in and then poured it in the bottle and i drank it right

Like, I never heard anything different when I was older.

Did it taste different?

Four years old.

Huh?

Did it taste any different from, like, regular cow milk?

No.

It tasted good.

It just tasted like milk.

I don't know, dude.

The milk in Puerto Rico, it's way creamier.

It's dense.

It's kind of like, I don't know.

Well, I mean, creamy, of course.

Creamy.

It's got a, yeah.

But, I mean, just to me, it tasted like milk.

Now, could I tell if it was creamier at that age?

No.

It just tasted like milk to me.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so.

Now, if I'm older, if I was older, you know, maybe I would have known the difference.

But back then, I didn't know.

I was all like four, maybe.

But I remember her squirting it in my mouth and squirting it in the cat's mouth.

The cat lined up.

She'd take it at an angle and squirt it, I guess, and catch the milk in her mouth.

That's just hilarious.

My Aunt Lola, yeah.

Oh, Aunt Lola.

That sounds like old times.

Back in the old times, I mean, they had owl houses on that property.

1-800-PETMEDS, America's largest pet pharmacy.

i'll tell you what there was i mean there were a few times i got to experience coffee from my

grandfather's farm like picked roasted the same day and then the milk from the cows same day oh

my god my name is annalise i managed to see today hey what's your name annalise annalise

annalise gotcha uh uh i have a dog homer and um he won't drink water i shoved his head into the

water and threw him in the pool and i shot water in his mouth with a garden hose while he was

was asleep and he still won't drink and i i like urinated on him to see maybe he just you know

maybe that might do it all right that did it can't be pissing on dogs around here i guess

jesus that was weird that was dark took a dark term dom uh this is a pet meds place uh i'm going

to call it back yeah you know 1-800-PETMEDS america's largest pet pharmacy

Milkman's working with me.

I'm not cursing too much.

Okay, I got it.

I think before we piss in the well with urination, we've got to get him going.

Thank you for choosing 1-800-FETMEDS.

This is Monica speaking.

How may I assist you?

Hi.

You see, I have a question.

So I live on a farm or a ranch, right, with my Uncle Cross and my Uncle Milkman.

And you see what happened?

So it was weird.

I was just sitting on the porch in my rocking chair, and I was watching my cat.

My cat runs over to the cow and just starts, you know, because the cow is just standing there, right?

And then its tail is swinging back and forth, and then the cat tries to claw it.

But then the cat accidentally started clawing its udder.

Do you know the little nipple that sticks out?

No, I'm sorry.

I don't.

Do you know a cow?

Have you seen a cow?

Oh, yeah, yeah, the cow.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, do you know the udders, the little thing that squirts the milk?

The little nipples, yeah, that's under the cow, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

So my cat went over there, and it was swinging at its tail first, but it missed and accidentally clawed its little udder.

and it started squirting milk in the cat's mouth and the cat is a really smart cat so

yeah so the cat is really smart and then all of a sudden it started swatting its udder some more

and then it got it to squirt the udder into its mouth and now the cat hold on hold on hold on

the cat let me just let me just picture this don't tell me that the cat is drinking the cow's milk

from the nipple yes it is it puts it to both put both its paws it puts its hands up it stands on

its hind legs and it feels like a like a like um like imagine you're like you know clapping like

like that it does it to the utter like once and then it squirts the milk in its mouth and i just

want to know what the like how is it going to affect my kitty cat you know like how is it going

to affect it is that bad is it supposed to drink the milk i don't know because i'm not a medical

Oh, my God.

So, wait a minute.

So, the cat is drinking from the cow's nipple?

Yes.

Wow.

I...

It went and got the kittens.

It went and grabbed the kitty cats, like, little kittens, and now all the little kittens, like,

line up and they all swat it.

Oh, no.

Yes.

So, they're not drinking the milk from the cat.

They're drinking the milk from the cow.

Yes.

It's really weird.

Here, let me go ahead and get...

Let me go ahead and put my Uncle Cross on.

we're right here on horse machine ranch road so here i'm gonna go i'm gonna go ahead and put him

in the phone because he has a lot of person here is that the cats i hear i mean i hear the cows in

the background yeah uh yeah hey this is uh cross hi cross how are you hey good my uh nephew just

came he gave me the phone i'm here in the in the cow building yeah i'm here i hear the cows in the

background yeah where is where we got a problem with these cats you know they uh they're getting

They're real violent.

Do you hear them?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

What do you guys have going on over there?

They're just hooked on this milk.

I don't know what to do about it.

I mean, there's just something I can do to correct this behavior.

They're becoming very violent and feral.

Oh, my God.

Listen to them.

Did you contact the vet?

The cows are frightened.

Oh, the cows are crying.

The cats are crying.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

You have a mess over there.

Yeah, and there's a gorilla over here masturbating also.

What?

Yeah, this gorilla broke in and started masturbating.

Oh, my God, Mr. Cross.

Have you guys contacted the vet in regards to this?

Because I'm not sure what to say.

Hi.

Tell her the monkey smacked my ass with its foot.

Yeah, the monkey smacked his ass with his foot.

Because you don't have to be like a nanny slapping it around just like it's a little punching bag.

Yeah, do you have anything that will calm down the cats at all?

Anything you can recommend I can give them?

Well, we have like a calming collar maybe.

Okay.

For the cats, give me one moment.

Anyway, I mean, can we, like, burn a...

Oh, my God, they're...

Yeah, they're attacking the cats, and we've tried everything.

A milkman is back there.

My milkman's back there now.

He's the guy that does the milking.

Is there a way that you can maybe try separating them,

like gathering all the cats together and...

No, they're violent.

No, they bite, they hiss.

They jump right out of the box and start slapping that little kitty

just like it's a punching bag.

Oh, no.

And the cows are red, like their udders are red, leaking milk everywhere, and pus and blood, vaginal secretions.

Oh, God, there's one right here.

Get the broom.

Ask her if they make them cat gloves like they make for the dogs, you know, little gloves that put them over the nails and such, you know, so it won't scar up the titties.

We don't have, let me see, gloves.

Give me one second.

Gloves, gloves, gloves.

Can we burn, like, some cat nips or something?

For the dogs, but I'm talking about for the size for cats, because cats' foot's small, you know?

For the cats, no. We don't have any gloves for the cats. Give me one second.

Oh, my God. There's like 20 cats.

There's 20 cats on top of that old Bessie over here.

Protect the nipples on it.

Give me one second, sir.

This one cow's like, we're going to have to put it down.

There's 20 cats on it just gnawing at its flesh right now.

We can't afford to amputate the nipple on there now.

Yeah, we're going to have to try to stitch her back on.

1-800-PETMEDS.

Customer satisfaction is our top priority.

Our sales representatives are ready to place your order quickly and easily.

I was like, wait a minute, I've got these sound effects.

Hang on.

With 1-800-PETMEDS, you'll save time and money.

Please hold.

Someone will be with you shortly.

We're starting to wind down on time here.

We'll give her a little bit while I prepare the next number.

1-800-PETMEDS.

Customer satisfaction is our top priority.

I thought I was going to lose her the masturbating gorilla, but she stayed in there.

I know, dude, as I also do now.

We'll beat any competitor's price at the time of your order.

With 1-800-PETMEDS, you'll save time and money.

Did she fucking think we were going to do?

I don't know.

Zoosk Online Dating.

I think I've seen them advertised on, you know, when I've been on my online dating.

My competitors.

Do you have any harmony?

The tickets are ready to place your order.

I've got fucking Yahoo!

We'll beat any competitor's price at the time of your order.

with 1-800-PETMEDS.

You'll see a leasehold.

Someone will be

really shortly.

Add me on

just howblackpeoplemeet.com.

Our normal business hours

are seven days a week

from 8 a.m.

to 5 p.m.

Pacific time.

Aww.

I'll tell you what,

though, man,

that Yahoo Personals

back when I was like

19, 20 years old,

I used to

chill out on that.

...editor's price

at the time of your order

with 1-800...

I was using that

fucking MoCo space.

MoCo space?

My space.

Oh, what was the...

Did you ever use

What was that called?

Mijente?

I don't know if you ever used that.

I was too white to use it.

No, I never used it.

It was old, dude.

I don't think that exists anymore, but it was like early 2000s.

There was one for Latinos only.

It was called Mijente.

It was like a MySpace for Puerto Ricans, and I don't know if Mexicans got into that.

I don't know.

That might have been an East Coast thing.

Is there a replacement for Facebook yet?

I mean, every other year, something comes out and never takes off, but you can use MySpace.

No, I'm talking about now.

everybody's like

and everybody's like

I told you guys

more than a year

it was common

have you tried

make a moco space

yeah moco space

you gotta

yeah moco space

yeah

have you tried gort

gort

there's gort

I don't know if you've tried gort yet

that's pretty popular

it's called

I'll try a gort account

and that might

I'll send you an invite to gort

three fun

and

and this is how black people meet

farmers only

those are my favorites

this is how black people meet

well

you know

How about for Amish?

Is there anything for Amish?

I'm not sure.

Shit, I don't think Amish date, man.

I'm pretty sure they...

I think they just...

Black Amish is my actual heritage.

I don't think Amish actually...

They don't have anything in the black Amish.

I don't think the Amish even fuck.

Don't they just kind of, like, not have sex and stuff?

Don't they do it through the sheet with the hole in it?

Sometimes it's the two-legged cows instead of the four-legged cows.

You know, the joke's on the Amish.

If they're making it so their men can only have sex with a woman with a hole in between the sheets.

No, I said sometimes two-legged cows instead of four-legged cows.

Well, anyway.

I'm all for, you know.

I prefer the two-legged cows, myself, my friend.

As long as I'm getting vaginal insertion, that's all the skin-on-skin I need.

Hey, as I was saying, man, I prefer the two-legged cows, man.

I keep my shirt on.

It's less work for me.

No.

So if there's a sheet in between, I don't care.

Whatever works.

Glory hole sheet.

Yeah.

A big glory hole sheet.

A cheap glory hole.

It's just a sheet with a hole in it instead of an actual door or whatever or a panel.

Zappos.

Hey, you guys remember Zappos?

We had a lot of fun with them.

Oh, man.

Back in the day.

Back in the day, three years ago.

Thanks for allowing our customer loyalty team to put a little Zappos in your day.

For quality assurance, this call may be monitored or recorded.

We'll be getting you to a team member shortly.

One of my favorite calls we ever did was a Zappos.

Yeah.

What did I do?

Thanks, and have a great day.

Lady, like you were going to buy shoes and you told her you were going to put one shoe

in her mouth and then put the other shoe on it.

This is Trevor with the Customer Loyalty Team, and this is your joke of the day.

Why are cooks so cruel?

Because they beat the eggs and whip the cream.

What the fuck?

Okay.

Beat the eggs and whip the cream.

Whip the cream.

Thank you for calling us, but my name is Lauren.

How can I help you?

What's your name, Laura?

Lauren.

Lauren?

Mm-hmm.

All right, I've got a SKU number there for you.

All right, what is that?

I don't know.

Where's the SKU number on that?

Oh, here it is, 837-5961.

Got it up here.

Okay, this is a vitamin A swimwear NutriHipster full.

Yeah, you have the picture in front of you.

It's like the swimwear, the panties.

Yeah, I think it's a bikini bottom.

Yeah, do you see how the legs come together there in the middle?

And it makes like a V shape.

uh yeah okay and what about it well i mean that's that's i like that you know okay you like her legs

well i like the part where the but do you see how her thighs are touching underneath the the

vaginal area yes that's called uh like she doesn't have a good thigh gap there she has like fat

cellulite there uh these models they work there don't they um they are i think they're like a

a third party but yeah technically oh but i thought they worked there like they were like

employees and they wore the clothes and stuff no so this is a third party yes this is a third body

all right third body third party sure same difference so but you see how the two thighs

are touching there you know what i mean and she but she still has her knees apart

yeah um that's called the lack of thigh gap uh what's your thigh gap like what how much

I don't really feel comfortable talking about that.

I'm more so here to talk about the actual clothing.

If you prefer, we don't have to talk about it.

You can just send me a picture.

No, that's okay.

I'm all right with not sharing that.

Come on, don't be like that.

Come on, we're a couple of homies.

We're a group of light-minded men.

What's your Snapchat?

I don't have a Snapchat.

chat but uh what if i talk about the clothing i'm gonna go and go ahead and no no no no no no no no

wait wait wait no don't go no no wait we have no no no no no there's how many of you are there

there's like five of you yeah we're all horny okay she's gone okay she went valley girl on us

I don't feel really comfortable

talking about this

I'm at work

I got another one here

I got a dress that's called

the Techno Knit Pussy Botox

hey

Big Matt Hillock

says that

he can hear us but we can't hear him

I guess he's on

For the joke of the day, please press 5.

Thanks, and have a great day.

Matt.

Matt's not on. He's crazy.

Yeah, he's trying to message you.

Look at your life and just rewind and know that...

Thank you for calling Zappos. This is Kathy speaking. How can I help you?

Hey, Big Kathy. Is that Kathy with a C or a K?

Kathy with a K. How about you?

I love it. I love names that start with K.

Okay, awesome. How about you? What's your name?

Akulo, A-C-U-L-O.

Oh, that's a unique name, Akulo.

That's really cool.

All right.

I got a SKU number for you here.

All right.

Are we going shopping or?

Well, no, I'm going to have a SKU number for you to look up, and I have questions.

Okay, sure.

What's that SKU number?

898-3027.

Okay, thank you.

All right.

Is that the Neil Barrett Techno Knit Pussy Boat Top?

Well, yeah.

Can you say that again?

It makes me a little uncomfortable to do that,

so it was actually a little weird to see that in the item description there.

It says pussy, pussy, you know?

Yeah, it does.

Well, I'm not sure why they named it like that,

but I'll just use kitty cat instead.

How's that?

No, no, can you use pussy or vagina or cunt?

No, we have to keep this on a professional level.

Oh, God, I just love hearing women say that.

I love women when they describe sexual organs.

can you describe yours no let's keep it on a professional level guys if you have

i'm more than happy to place an order what's your cat's name what's your kitty cat's name

what do you call her i'm i'm gonna go ahead and disconnect the call

i hope you guys have a great night give us a call back if you need it okay

Okay. Bye, Snapper.

She was going to blow me a kiss. I totally

heard her getting ready. She's like, wait a minute.

No, I can't do that. I think she was getting

ready to blow a kiss. Yeah.

She didn't feel comfortable with it. Then why put it on the

website, you know? God damn it.

Yeah.

Fucking hypocrite.

This has changed the way it's

because I'm not being put on hold anymore.

I'm because I'm getting the hang of it, you know?

I'm trying to get Matt connected here,

but it's not working.

So many things to fix here, but

But, you know, we'll get there.

Let's see.

Let's see, Matt.

Oh, that's why.

Because Matt has the difference.

You can call him on Skype and his phone on Skype and then have to select it.

And we do call Skype and we connect them.

Here, let's see if this works without crashing everything.

We only have like six minutes left, gentlemen.

So we must make our time.

Everything.

We only have like six minutes.

Hey, what's going on?

Why are you playing?

Let's make our time.

No, take me off.

I don't want to.

We only have like six minutes.

Jesus Christ.

What's up, Matt?

Headphones, headphones, headphones.

Can you hear me, Matt?

Yes.

All right, Milkman, can you hear Matt?

Yes, I think I heard him.

Headphones, I heard him echoing.

Yeah, so that's what was happening.

Because whatever I was connected to, I could hear you guys,

and I thought you were fucking with me.

You were listening to the shoutcast line, bro.

That's just the radio.

See, I got a fix.

See, I was worried about that, and I guess it took a man to show us.

What the fuck is going on?

Like, you fuckers.

Am I blacklisted?

I'm checking all my settings.

His audio is lower, though.

I'm working on it, Milkman.

Yeah, let me see if I can jack my shit off.

No, you're good.

It's me.

You don't touch.

Don't touch.

Leave your audio the way it was.

Jack your shit off.

Yeah, jack your shit off.

So, Matt, how are you doing?

You see Milkman's here.

I'm doing good.

yeah i want to say congratulations on 13 years i tried dude i've been trying to fucking bring it

when's the first time i you've been calling the wrong number you were calling the well

that's my fault i do you know there's a brand perception problem there i need to do a better

job of telling people this number does this listen to the majority of the show and that's

pretty fucking rare yeah really you know you don't like my show okay i don't know i don't

I don't listen to Lincoln Dick.

I don't listen to a lot of cat shows

unless I can get on.

I'll just message a little bit

and be like, hey, I'm calling in

or something.

Yeah, I got you.

What do you think of the new format?

Sounds positive.

It's weird when they're all your buddies.

It's kind of different and weird

to listen a bit.

When they're all...

Maybe it's because I don't do anything

when I'm listening.

I just want to listen.

of you know okay yeah yeah whatever well hey you know anyways it's terrible to hear this

fucking shitty milkman back take my job this guy is no good nick i've been telling you for years

who said that i've just been saying it oh i'm just kidding i'm sorry that whole thing's funny

like like people like like arguing about us and shit it's like hilarious yeah i like it

I appreciate you

filling in for me, Matt.

Your audio sounds

really good now.

Oh, thanks, Nick.

Hey, Matt, weren't you Milkman?

There you go. That's the Milkman

we all know and love.

This is going to be the last prank of the night.

Matt was Milkman on the Brad takeover.

Thank you for calling.

Compliance?

All the information you provide will be kept confidential.

To file a new report, please press 1.

To follow up on an existing report, please press 1.

You have called NAVAC's global, a company hired by your organization to gather information related to potential issues.

We will take 10 to 15 minutes to ask you a series of questions,

then submit the information you provide to your organization so they can begin an investigation process if warranted.

All information you provide will be kept confidential.

Please hold for the next available communication specialist.

You call me to be monitored for training, quality assurance, and other purposes.

That Japanese-y sounding one, that sounds like Saigon Jane.

Oh, yeah, I call the fucking, it's the, the name of the place is Hello Kitty School.

Hello?

Calling the Papa John's at the cut line, my name is Jack, would you like to file a report or follow up on an existing report?

I'm following a new report.

Let's go.

I would say yes.

No, this is an ethics thing.

Well, what can you take then?

Whatever you can take a report for, I want you to take that report.

It's not. It's not. I was wrong.

Shut up. I was incorrect. I'm sorry.

Sorry. I was incorrect. It's not an HR matter. It's a different type of matter.

I need to explain it so you know.

What is your concern?

Papa John's chairman, John Schnatter, has resigned after admitting he used the N-word in a role-playing call last May.

The pizza chain released a statement Wednesday night saying that he had accepted Schnatter's resignation.

Papa John's will appoint a new director soon, and Olivia Kirtley will act as the company's lead independent director in the interim period.

Shatner made the racial slur during a role-playing call between Papa John's executives and marketing agency Laundry Service.

It was designed as an exercise for Shatner to prevent a public relations crisis, but clearly backfired.

So what would you like to report?

According to Forbes, Shatner was asked how he would distance himself from racist groups online and replied Colonel Sanders called blacks...

Sure again?

God.

Are you an employee of Papa John's?

Wait, now you said it.

now i said now i said well i guess i'm a reporter myself my name is cross i'm an employee for papa

john's number 12 ad and i said the word end the n word now on the phone here on the clock so i have

to turn myself in he's gone all right whatever that was a good attempt that was all right that

was all right all right everyone i have to go to 10 on the sharp all right matt thanks for joining

sorry it was so late

I'm sorry for the confusion

good

alright

hey cheers

cheers thing

alright

it's awesome

your guys are back

yeah

13 more years

glad to hear you guys back

Carlito

dope as fuck

hell yeah

yeah

alright Matt's gone

Dom you're out of here

on your ass

everyone tune in to

Super Foam Brothers

on Mixilar

yay

thank you

alright bye

nice talking to you

for the first time

Milkman

bye Carlito

thanks for having me on

see you guys later

bye

alright Milkman

man, you want to take us out of here, you sexy

little thing, you? Yeah, I guess so,

man. It's like, wow, we're still a little bit packety,

but man, hey, look, man, I can't believe it didn't die.

It went fast, yeah. Wow. Other than that

one crash, half,

almost half, a little bit over half way.

Still packety. Is you still, am I still packety?

Still packety right now.

Shit, shit, shit.

Yeah, it's still packety.

Western Nagamo,

oh, man, believe it or not,

folks, who would ever thought,

who would ever thought, 13 years

years later we're gonna still be here that's right what we do every week and you know what

we're gonna start doing again every chance we get right here that's right bring your friends

bring your enemies better yet they're welcome here that's right anytime in the madhouse because

we do it right here for you in your ear balls every chance we get that's right are listening

that's right and could not deal without our famous hermanito hermanito thank you so much

brother for bringing us back man i'm looking forward to new season 14 brother yeah season 14

through 26 coming up thank you milkman it was great having you you know that we're back i loved

it we'll get these issues ironed out over the next few shows i think before the end before you know

it we'll be back full force i'm excited yeah uh real quick before we go just want to give our uh

our uh our shout outs here real quick madhouse live.com is the website if you want to tune

Tune into the show 24-7, 365.

You can use the Shoutcast links.

The TuneIn app links are there also.

Look for us on the TuneIn app on your smart device, smartphone,

and also YouTube, Madhouse Radio on YouTube,

where you can catch some older prank calls.

I have had a lot of questions.

Yes, I plan on starting up the Prank Calls of the Week again,

which is the best prank calls of that week's show,

edited into one video and put on YouTube for quick consumption.

That was the plan.

There you go.

You can also listen at any time on the go.

You have a horse machine membership?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

We'll get there.

You're breaking up bad.

Hang on.

Hang on, Milkman.

Just ignore it.

If you want to listen on your phone, call 605-475-0097.

Don't get confused like Matt Hillock did over there because he didn't understand it.

He thought it was us, and it wasn't us.

It was recorded us.

You can also hit up patreon.com forward slash madhouse.

Contribute to the show.

and uh madhouse on twitter you're trying not talking so loud try back a little bit from the

mic oh well it's not it's not it's just a connection i think man it's just a connection

i'm pretty sure it's just a connection it's gonna it's like levels and stuff yeah you're right i

think it's changing now is it is it better worse no i don't know no it's not it's not changing

all right well we're out of here but we'll figure it out man we'll figure it out all right brother

I'll catch you later

I'll talk to you soon

I'll talk to you

I'll give you a call

okay man

give me a hit up dude

let's straighten this out

on the side man

for next show

alrighty

have a good one

alright everybody

Milkman's on here on his ass

I'm out of here on my dick

catch you next week

next week

I said it

that's right

next week

Calls (32, 1 h 13 min of 2 h 14 min)

Transcript

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