Hot Jazz In Your Mouth

You're pretty ignorant.

No, I'm not ignorant, sir.

You're ignorant, and you're wasting my time.

You're stupid ignorant.

I mean, we are normal people.

There's nothing unusual.

I think we're finished with this call.

You've been a big inning.

I'm going to terminate this call.

You can speak with someone else.

You've been incredibly rude, and I don't know what to say.

Hope you have a great day.

Bitch.

Just kick back to listen to this cat call.

People, when this show goes live, I be like, damn, this shit's bitchin'.

Stop whatever I'm doin' to tune in and listen.

You can catch me in the back of his home at Horse Machine Ranch Road.

I'm bustin' mad fat flows for assholes and banchos.

I spit crazy.

Shout out to Big Amy.

That's nice, honey, baby.

We kissin' pussy, so ladies, such a labia.

It's crazy how the stuff that my bruh might say to ya.

Face it, cuz, it's the number one prank cast.

Stay back if you can't handle all the straight laughs that we hand to your dome.

And if you want, call the number. You can listen to this show on the go.

Big up to the man in the madhouse. He showed up, just to get motherfucking hands up.

Some come close, but they can't get it right. Let the king do his thing. It's time for Madhouse Live.

Big up to the man in the madhouse. He showed up, just to get motherfucking hands up.

Madhouse Live.

All station in the nation.

Frank called nation.

I'm Carlito, I'm the host of Madhouse Radio, and I'm here with the big-ass Cracker Milkman.

Hey, Milkman!

Oh, hey!

Brother, how you doing?

Oh, man.

I can hear your melodious tones, my brother.

It's good to hear your tones. Are you scared today, or are you not afraid?

I am relatively unafraid at the moment.

You should be scared.

We've got a conviction, we've got a conviction, and things are sounding much more up to speed today.

Conviction.

I'll give you a conviction, motherfucker.

I got a conviction, too, man.

It's going to be a hell of a fun trip.

Uh-huh.

Your call will be recorded for quality assurance, and a customer service representative will be with you shortly.

Thank you.

That's the quality that you're assured.

This is true, man.

This motherfucker's just fucked.

We're calling Pizza Hut.

that's right pizza party fucking wait here

i gotta hear the options milkman shut up that's a medium two topping pizza what's going on what

do i do all right hit one maybe one will work you get numbers from park man uh i think they

just came in thank you thank you for calling hello hi hi how are you hello hi pizza hut

Yes, hi.

Yeah, I'm really, I've just kind of been stressed out with this whole hurricane coming.

I'm not from here.

I'm from Arizona.

I don't really know much about that.

So, I mean, are you guys delivering right now still with everything going on?

What island are you on, sir?

You know where Papepe Road is?

You're on Oahu and Neva Beach.

Yeah, that's all I know.

I'm literally here on vacation, and I don't know what to do.

The airport is all booked up and closed, and I can't get out.

And I don't, you know what I mean?

We don't even have, like, a refrigerator here.

I can't.

And then the store shelves are all empty.

Did you want to place an order?

Yeah.

Well, I've got to ask, though.

Like, so they're saying how long we're supposed to save food for, like, two weeks?

Wait, wait.

This is Pizza Hut.

Are you pranking me?

No, no, no.

No, no.

I'm on vacation.

I'm staying on.

Oh, my God.

Sir, I cannot advise you on hurricane relief, but I can take your pizza order.

If you let me finish.

And not be rude.

How long do the pizzas keep at room temperature?

Because what I figure is I can buy a few pizzas, and we can eat off of that for a few days, you know?

I wouldn't be able to answer that, sir.

Well, you're pretty ignorant.

Is there a man there that can tell me?

Excuse me?

You're pretty ignorant.

No, I'm not ignorant, sir.

You're ignorant, and you're wasting my time.

You're stupid ignorant.

Yeah, milkman.

It's in Malacca.

I mean, it's not Malacca.

It's caca.

What is it?

Calaca?

Malacca.

No, not Malacca.

That's Greek.

Fuck.

fuck uh what's the fuck is the the n-word for hawaiians what the fuck is it i forgot

howley howley's white people and then what's the other one so i can't believe i forgot

chat room back me up here for a while yeah check me out check me out check me out don't listen to

what i'm saying guys what i'm asking whatever gg whistler whatever we're using kahoki what the

the fuck what is it oh gosh oh what's it howie and what's the other one no that's greek that's

greek for masturbator um or jerk off like wanker um pizza hut brings back kanaka kanaka kanaka

thank you for calling pizza this is jockey could i please start with your phone number

Yeah, what's up, Mike Kanaka?

How you doing?

Was I just talking to you?

No.

Okay, I had a question.

There's a hurricane coming.

I'm on vacation here on Oahu.

Okay.

All right, and we're trying to find, like, we don't even have a refrigerator here,

and then we tried to get some stuff to, like, eat in the grocery stores.

They're all, like, cleaned out, I guess, because there's a hurricane.

I've never been in one before.

How long do the pizzas hold for?

Because I thought maybe my wife was thinking maybe we could order, like, a few pizzas,

and they might keep for, like, a day or two at least.

I wouldn't keep them for two days.

What would you put on them?

If you maybe got vegetables, they'd last longer.

Well, you don't think they'll get soggy with the vegetables?

Maybe if I just got cheese, plain cheese.

I don't know.

I don't think we could say that they could last two days.

With no refrigeration.

Shit.

I mean, you can't say that.

I know, I know.

Well, at least it'll get me through one day.

Because I eat cold pizza all the time.

It's okay to eat pizza the next day, right?

Yeah, but if it's been refrigerated.

Yeah.

When's the hurricane supposed to hit?

I believe tonight.

Oh, shit.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

All right.

Are you guys still delivering?

Yes.

All right.

What time tonight is the storm?

Okay.

All right.

If I can get an order, I need one pizza with heat.

I'm sorry?

One pizza with heat.

One pizza with heat?

Yeah.

What do you mean?

Like heat.

Put hot on it.

You mean spicy, like jalapenos?

No, temperature.

I want a hot pizza.

I want it hot.

Okay.

All right.

Did you want to go ahead and place the order now?

yeah all right and your delivery address please uh i'm gonna pick it up i can pick it up you know

where papipi road papipi road eva beach is that i guess we're here staying at eva beach yeah okay

yeah now is is that fucking place open because they put boards up all over the place here

they're open until four but is the door open or how do i how do i get in yeah you walk through

the door okay and but i mean is there wood on the door right now or is it open i don't think

there's any wood on the door okay all right and then like how do how do i uh walk like what do i

do i put one foot down on the ground you know we have enough going on without this kind of nonsense

thank you very much it's just a category four it's a glancing blow get out of here lady i live

through three hurricanes in a row in the space of two months motherfucker it's just a category four

that's fucked that category four is pretty strong i mean that's near katrina was a four when it hit

or actually hit jefferson's parish not new orleans direct you know what what maybe i asked these

people that didn't they just have like a volcano and lava like what would be the possibility of

our hurricane having flying lava going through the air holy shit that would be a good question

to pose to one of our our callers yeah what if the devil comes out you know like the devil's like

you know it's gonna come out because the hurricane touched down on top of the volcano

tube, right? And then this fucking

explosion happening, and it's just like

swirling like pieces of lava

everywhere. And the hurricane, right?

Yeah, that's what it's going to sound like.

That's what happens when you mix a hurricane

and lava. Yeah, we got one minute, brother.

We got one minute. Is it that late?

What do you got in your head, or man?

I'm using Cinderella 99, but I'm going to

switch to the OG Kush soon as I cash this.

I think. I think. I think that's

what I'm going to do. Cinderella 99

in what form? What method are you using?

And a, you know, just a regular marijuana pipe.

Bolio bowl?

Yeah, I got my, dude, I fucking, I had this pipe, this bowl, glass pipe that I had for.

This pipe one, yeah.

I had it, the motherfucker, for like five years and it dropped at barely that, it wasn't

barely that high off the ground and it broke.

All right, do this.

So I bought a silicone one.

It's made out of silicone.

It's rubbery.

It's like a dildo almost.

I mean, I'm sure, where's the camera pointing?

It's this right here.

Look at this.

Look.

Ooh.

Get a stone one, dude.

Dude, they make these stone ones.

They're made out of fucking rock, dude.

They fucking drill a hole in it, and then they just put a big-ass bowl hole in it.

And you can drop it.

Bowl hole?

You can hit the man's head with it, and you can still put a screen in it and fucking hit it, dude.

They put a bowl hole?

If you break the glass one, at least you got the stone one, and it won't, you know, burn up.

Are you trying to say a carb?

Yeah.

A carb hole?

You said a bowl hole.

Bowl hole.

Milkman, let's get a weather update about it.

Let's see how bad Hurricane Lane is going to be.

Here we go.

Grape soda, man.

They have the grape soda.

Yeah, I'm a milkman.

Is that what you're smoking?

Grape soda?

Yeah, it's grape soda.

What is grape soda?

Diamond terp sauce.

So you're vaping, then.

Or what are you doing?

Are you dabbing?

Yeah, I'm dabbing the vape.

Dabbing the vape.

You're dabbing the vape.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

All right, cool.

I can't get video to play about the hurricane.

It doesn't seem like this wants to play like I wanted it to.

It's supposed to be a video machine.

Well, apparently lava is flown out of the squirrel and hit the camera.

That's the problem.

Got a lava problem.

A lava problem?

That's going to happen.

That's going to cool off almost immediately, buddy.

That's not going to happen.

It's a joke.

It's a joke for the call.

Hey, wait a minute.

Why are you disrespecting me and calling me dumbass?

What's that about, dumbass?

That's not right.

I'm your friend.

I'm using you as a theoretical caller, right?

I'm demonstrating here.

I think you're being a disrespectful little prick is what you're doing.

This is a premise.

You're getting high.

That's that Reefer Madness shit.

You're getting all crazy.

I said a premise and said this is a premise, hermano.

I'm sorry, baby.

No, it's okay.

I'm just fucking with you, buddy.

You know I don't care about that shit.

I'm laughing my ass off.

This is a fucking good hit.

It's all right.

right i'm kidding uh listen we're going to call more hawaii here for now um i'm going to call

lowes i don't think it's going to go through the i'm going to see if our friend uh larry's there

um you know the the viewer guy hurricane removing

well the problem is home depot if there are open i mean lowes rather and home depot for that matter

if they are open right now they're going to be super fucking busy with people buying plywood

right now, yeah, so

people, there's probably a line searching half through the store

for plywood, and I can use that as a

at least if I get to the front desk, we can use that

motherfucker, right, right

there you go, that's right, ask him

ask him if he can buy the demo, you wanna buy a desk

you wanna buy a demo of plywood

what? yeah, like a desk or a countertop

with a screen and a door

just to break it

I won't break that

see if we get Larry, he's probably

holding it down

We have a very bad buzz tonight, I apologize

Dude, I'm telling you, it's a great set of rocks

Alright, yeah, that reminds me

Back to Cinderella 99 here

I'm there, baby, on the planet

Planet, uh, grape soda

Planet Knee High

Dude, I saw Grape Knee High for sale yesterday

I was, uh, a few days ago

We're probably gonna get it transferred to the mainline machine

Have you heard anything from Jen, Bob?

That fucking buzz is killing me, man.

I'm sorry, guys.

You're going to hear buzzing.

Whenever the music's not playing, it's a buzz.

I'm sorry.

I try.

Yeah, well, listen.

I'm trying to go in there, and there's, like, so many people.

And I'm trying to buy a plywood.

Hello?

Well, I mean, I was there, and there's a ton of people in there.

What's that about?

Yeah, well, I mean, that's not convenient to me.

the customers in the store sir well can you i mean how much is how much plywood you guys have left

do you know the item number plywood you know what plywood is i know what plywood is sir but we have

different type of plywood why are you angry are you upset are you scared about the hurricane it's

okay it's gonna be okay don't worry about it no i'm not sir okay all right well what do you mean

there's different i don't know the barcode for plywood that's pretty ignorant i mean what do

you think do you know the item number that's what i'm asking because there's different type of

plywood that we have. Oh, God. Is there a man

there who might know what you're talking about?

Let me go and direct you. What I'm talking about?

We're going to be on hold for a while.

I should have asked for Larry.

I think she's a little

frazzled milkman.

Yeah, hey. Listen,

there's too many people here. This is too many

people. I need to get

plywood and I don't have time to be waiting on all these people

here in the way.

I don't know who you are or where you are. Where are you at?

Well, I was in the store. I came out to the

the parking lot to cool down there's too many people uh the only plywood i have is under the

canopy you can drive right up to it all right um all right well how do i put plywood in a honda

civic what do i do uh you go rent a pickup i guess i mean i tried that too i tried that too

and they said no they're out they're out of pickups yeah well there's much i can do well

come on man i'm not from here i don't know what to do i'm from arizona you think i've ever seen

seen a fucking hurricane uh thanks for using the f word goodbye all right shit cunt pussy

fucking pussy bitch

oh man i'm gonna call the other lows if the fucking shit will open here

Good old Ted Webb, man.

You ever hear from Manningham anymore?

Yeah, I emailed him when we found out that KDK passed.

Oh, how long has that been?

A couple months.

Yeah, he said he was down to do a show,

but he needed to wait until after the summer.

He was too busy with hockey and a bunch of shit.

I don't know.

Oh, okay.

He's just making up some excuse.

He didn't want to be on it.

Yeah, he's a hockey masturbator.

That's a good thing.

I mean, the guy moved to California to play hockey, apparently.

Well, he lives right there. I'll be back.

The Sharks.

San Diego.

For what is it?

To the store. Press 1.

For information on transferring to hardware and tools.

This is a different Lowe's. This might be the one.

This fucking buzzing SHUT UP!

It's getting worse.

Yeah, I need plywood. Why aren't the people answering?

And why are there so many people there?

Okay, hold on.

Hey, help! Help me!

Why did I do that?

I wonder if the Kmart there is still open.

See if they've got any poster board you can use.

Poster board.

Like three sheets, you know, like two sheets together.

Yeah, listen, I don't have time for this.

I need to get plywood.

Drive your car underneath the canopy.

I have a Honda Civic.

You don't understand.

Okay, well, I cannot put any lumber.

I mean, if you can get your lumber on top of your Honda Civic,

it's not my job to buy you a car or whatever.

I'm not asking you to buy me a car, jackass.

I'm asking you to do something to reinforce it.

Well, we can probably find some rope or something you can tie it to.

How's that going to keep it from bending down the hood?

Bring the car under the canopy.

Go ahead and bring the car under the canopy, and then let's see if we can figure it out.

God damn it.

Fuck, shit, fucking shit.

I'm scared about this hurricane.

I don't know what to do.

What do I do?

Bring the car under the canopy, and I'll be waiting there for you.

Oh, God.

What color is the Honda Civic?

It's white.

Okay, bring it under the canopy.

It's white like your ass.

Bring it under the canopy, and we'll see what we can do for you.

It's white like your ass.

All right, I'll do that.

Thank you.

White like my ass?

Yeah, white like your stupid ass.

I hope you drown.

Just bring it under the canopy.

We can help you out.

All right, I hope the hurricane blows you away into the water.

Come here, I'm a hurricane.

Are you still in the parking lot?

Just bring your car under the canopy.

We'll see what we can do.

I'm here right now.

Okay, bring it under the canopy.

Let's see what we can do, okay?

Come on, let's go, let's go.

We'll bring your car under the canopy.

Let's go, let's go.

Just bring it under the canopy.

Let's go, motherfucker, let's go.

just bring it under the canopy all right i'll bring it down listen okay yeah

can you put in the back seat with orange stripe around it can you what yeah so you called home

depot you didn't call lowe's oh shit well that's what the problem is okay all right so home depot

you have wood still yeah yeah just but if you're at lowe's they've got some under the canopy you

You can just pull it over.

I was just over there.

What were you doing over there?

Because it's right next door.

Were you scoping out the prices, being a little sneaky spy?

No, we're not that busy.

You better not.

You hear me?

You stay over there on your side, motherfucker, you.

I'm glad they record all these things.

It's funny as hell.

Well, I'm glad to record this, too, asshole.

Yeah, thanks for using all that nice language with us.

Shit, fuck, cunt, vagina, labia.

Come on, eat a bug.

Ejaculation.

Call back anytime

Alright, buddy

Hey, is Larry there?

Uh, no

You know who I'm talking about?

No, I don't know

I didn't even know that Larry works in this store

Do you know a Larry?

No, I don't

I've got three people that have worked in this store next to me

Listening to this

That have been here since day one

They don't know a Larry

Yeah, but they're women

Uh, one of them is

Hello, see

Put her on

He can hear you

I have it on speaker

We're blasting over the whole store

Because there's nobody in here

You're a stupid woman

You hear that, Losey?

Yeah

Sounds like he likes you.

All right, I like you.

Yeah, go fuck yourselves.

Go to hell.

Go to the hell.

Asshole.

So all the K-Mart's closed.

They're all gone in Honolulu, in Hawaii.

No more K-Mart's.

Permanently closed.

Maybe they'll sell poster boards to you

if one of the loads splits them out

and we're excluded and all be together, right?

Because you can't afford plywood, right?

Yeah, they're right next to each other.

That's shitty competition.

What do you do?

Well, who cares, right?

Who makes a big deal between Lowe's and Home Depot?

It's either or for me.

I'm like, whatever.

Whatever's closest to me now.

It's just like the CVS or like Walgreens thing.

Everywhere you go, the ones right across the street are on the next block, right?

They got to make sure that they're there to be competitive.

Yeah.

Which is retarded.

It's like Pepsi and Coke, you know?

They're both too expensive, dude.

I'm doing the knowledge, man.

I'm trying to get paid in full.

Well, check this out.

Since Norby Walters is our agency, right?

True.

I don't know what he said.

It couldn't be Kelly.

It's the same voice in all the places.

Good afternoon, thank you for finding support.

This is Walmart, this is Dean, I'll make the rest of your call.

Listen, I was just at Lowe's, I was at the Lowe's and they ran out of plywood.

Hello?

Yeah, you just called Walmart, yeah, we don't have plywood.

Do you have desks and stuff there though?

We have desks, but the desks are pressed wood, yeah.

But it's something, right? I mean, I don't know what to do.

I can't find any plywood in town.

uh my wife's yelling at me carrying on do this do that get the effing stuff get the effing windows

covered up here we're not from here you understand we're from minnesota we never seen a

hurricane before we don't know what to do are we gonna die if we don't have it are you in a house

well we're on an airbnb and we've been trying to contact the owners and they won't say shit to us

you know and we're christians what kind of windows do you have i'm having heart palpitations and

like my left arm is numb and tingling oh what kind of windows do you have uh glass windows i

don't know i mean they're just like jealousy what's it's big windows it's they're like they

got like uh like a tic-tac-toe board in the middle you know it looks like a tic-tac-toe board

okay hang on give me the fridge la la la this is probably copyright let me tell you something

that really pissed me off milkman you know how we have we lost you like that yeah listen

Listen, motherfucker, Milkman, I got so mad, you know, the last show that we did?

You know I don't play music.

I don't play music.

I do everything I can.

Let's keep YouTube happy, right?

We're on YouTube right now.

We gotta get it.

Which I really hate this.

It really bites my ass.

I can only play it a little bit, but guess what sound effect got flagged and demonetized the video?

This one right here.

This one right here from the Jerky Boys got us demonetized.

Why don't we make a road, man?

Why don't you just smack your...

Smack, smack, demonetize.

Shut up.

Shut up, shut up, hello?

If you can't get plywood or anything like that, the best option would be to tape the windows.

Oh, come on.

And have tapery.

Tape the windows.

That's some, that's like 1980s crap.

What's that going to do?

It will stop the window from shattering into a lot of pieces.

Well, I can't, I don't want it to, I don't want it, I want to put up wood.

I need to put up wood.

How many, you got desks there, don't you?

Come on, he hung up on me, motherfucker, man.

I need wood.

Dude, what we'll do is just smack Helmer on the ass real quick.

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

Oh, I hung up on Milkman.

Oh, shit.

I don't know what that guy that talks all over my prank calls.

Hang on, let me try to call him back.

He just talks, talks, talks.

I was trying to talk to Milkman last night.

He says, I'm trying to talk, and he just talks right over me.

Goddamn, you motherfucking shit.

I just turned his ass down sometime.

but the money. But now I've learned to earn

cause I'm... Gotta love him, man. Gotta love him.

Gotta love him. Maybe I might just search

for a nine to five. If I

strive to make...

I hit the wrong one. I'm a

stupid. I hit the wrong one. Take it easy.

Oh, okay. So it wasn't a drop in. Okay.

Alright. It was a fat finger. Nope. It was a

fat Carlito fat

ass fat finger, man. Which is my favorite.

Sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off, but

sorry about that. Alright.

Thanks for making me look good, Milkman.

Let's call Walmart one last time about

about them desks and then we'll uh take a break for our uh you know where i give out the links

to people to give me money because it took us too long to do the album so i want to buy a

playstation 4 and i need that to do shows i need a playstation 4 we appreciate your business and

look forward to the opportunity to serve you in our store for pharmacy press one zero for

For electronics, press 2.

No.

For pickup, press 3.

No.

For deli, press 4.

No.

3 for pickup.

Wait a minute.

I got an idea now.

Repeat this video.

Press stop.

All right.

I got to play really stupid here.

You probably know where I'm going with this.

Oh.

It was a bad echo machine.

Bad echo machine.

Good afternoon.

Your phone is messed up.

The phone is messed up.

I'll be back.

Jesus.

Milkman, are you there?

Hello?

Hi.

Oh, shit.

It was Milkman.

hey listen uh this is pickup oh you want to pick up today hang on well yeah i need a pickup i need

to pick up uh i need to get a pickup for plywood we don't have plywood sir i told you that before

no but listen if i can just he's hung up right up on me he hung right up on me like a motherfucker

you had a really bad echo coming from your side so i decided to reset the call

motherfuckers we're calling a different walmart it's okay honey baby it's okay little teepee

I hope you're all enjoying the show.

This is Carlito, Madhouse Radio with Milkman.

In theory, that's a man.

I'm told.

You ever been in a hurricane before?

Hang on, let me ask you this, Milkman.

Why is it?

I was under the impression that hurricanes in the Pacific were called typhoons,

but they're calling this a hurricane.

Is there a reason, do you think, for that?

Do you think that a hurricane strikes more fear in the hearts of men,

so they decided to switch that rule?

It was always typhoons, I think.

Typhoon's a Japanese term.

Yeah, but I was always under the impression that typhoons...

Maybe the Japanese call it typhoon, but people probably wouldn't understand what a typhoon is.

They say hurricane.

Milkman, but I'm saying that forever, they've always said typhoons hitting Hawaii.

They've always said a hurricane is called a typhoon in the Pacific.

Oh, come on.

Come on.

Oh, you're stupid.

You're stupid.

We're old and we actually know.

Young people tell them in general, man.

I can't tell you most people don't know.

Who even knows the Japanese word?

Don't insult the good people of Hawaii.

Okay, Hawaiian people are definitely mostly Japanese in defense.

Well, they're stupid.

They're stupid.

They're stupid monkeys.

Sorry.

Typhoon spam.

I'm sorry.

I know you're half Japanese.

Why do you always make fun of my Amish fucking heritage?

How are you Amish?

How is that possible?

You always come up with something here.

You know I'm Amish?

Listen, if you're Amish, that means that you got out.

Explain that.

24 hour kill.

Okay, 24 hour kill.

Are you really 24 hour?

or are you going to be open during the hurricane?

We're going to close 12 o'clock tonight.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

And we close at 12 midnight.

Shit.

When are you opening?

We open Friday morning, 5 a.m.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah, I'm here.

I mean, are you really going to open or are you just thinking?

No, we're going to open.

Oh, man.

All right, do you have pickup?

Pickup.

Yeah.

I'm picking up.

Yeah, do you have a pickup service here?

Yeah, you have to go online and order online.

All right, well, I need to get...

I need to get plywood, you understand?

I called Lowe's, and they said...

Yeah, we don't have plywood over here.

I'm trying, if you let me explain.

They said that they have plywood under the canopy in the parking lot, you understand?

But I've showed up in a Honda Civic, and they're like,

you can't put plywood on that, you need to come back in the pickup.

So how much do you lease the pickup for, for an hour?

Do you do by the hour?

By the hour? No, this is Walmart.

Yeah, but it says on the website that this Walmart has pickup.

up yeah we have pickup but we don't carry plywood at all i don't need the plywood i just need the

pickup i need to get the pickup for an hour to go pick up the plywood at lowe's no hold on stupid

god damn that buzz from hell hello are you there yes yeah listen i'm about to have a panic i'm

having a gonna have a panic attack about this hurricane uh-huh all right so i went to lowe's

and they have plywood because i know you guys don't have plywood and home depot ran out of

plywood but they have some plywood they're holding it for me so i showed up in my honda civic and

And they said, no, you got to, you got to, they said for me to go get a pickup, you know, to put it in.

So, so I, yeah, but you have a, you have pickup there, right?

I was on the website looking for pickup in Honolulu and it said Walmart has pickup.

It said that this Walmart location has pickup.

We have, we have pickup, but we don't.

That's what I need.

Well, I mean, how much is it an hour for a pickup?

Is it free pickup?

It says free pickup.

No, it's not.

No, we don't pick up other, we don't pick up products or items from any other store.

No, I'm going to get it.

I just need to rent the pickup so I can do that, you know?

I mean, that's great that you guys have.

No, we don't, it's not.

Do you have any pickups?

We don't rent out, we don't rent out pickup trucks or any kind of vehicle.

I know, it says free pickup at this Walmart.

Yeah, it's not, it's not vehicles.

Is the pickup available?

No, we don't have the vehicles.

Come on.

We don't.

i mean are they when when when are they if you don't have them now i mean i'm guessing that

people are getting plywood when's the next one coming in when you say when you say pick up today

that means you can't pick up your item from the store you have a pickup now today what time

we don't rent out pickup trucks i don't need to rent it i'm gonna i'm gonna you know

i'm gonna use it and i'm gonna keep it i'm gonna keep the plywood at home i'm gonna put it on my

my windows but we don't we don't do services for that come on come on please i know it says right

here you have pickup please just let me oh is there pickup meaning it's for pickup your items

that are ordered online i just went by right there and i saw there's a few pickups in the

parking lot obviously one of those i can use right i mean no come on walmart does not provide

pickup services like that what are all these pickups here doing in the parking lot here

it's for it's for listen those are for um those are they're not with the company we don't own

them those they're there because it's um for shelter reasons because of this hurricane man

but okay they even says automotive here like i'm looking this is auto center yeah they're not

they're not those trucks are not associated with walmart company you know i'm getting real mad i'm

I'm going to start kicking cars here until you...

You better do it right now.

Go ahead.

Fine.

Shit.

All right, all right, all right.

Okay.

Can you turn off this alarm on your pickup here?

Hello?

Okay, I don't know if she believes that or not.

But it is what it is, Milkman.

I need a pickup.

That was nice, man.

I like the idea, man.

I like that one.

That was a good one.

That was on the fly.

That was on the flying machine, man.

I just pulled that right out of my pool.

That's where you're the great one.

But a grade one himself.

Another example of the bastard.

Nice, nice, nice.

I'm Milkman.

All right, everyone, listen.

Oh, God.

Milkman, let's be quiet for a second while I give out the link machines for the show and the news and the ha, ha.

All right.

Just all the subscription information.

Yes, that's right.

MadHouseLive.com is our website where you can subscribe to the podcast over at the Sheltcast.

Also, the shoutcast links are there

You can watch all the YouTube videos

There's a link there on the front page

You can watch me live right now on the camera machine

Yeah, Homer was on camera

Up until the show started and he stopped

I can bait, I bought Homer bait

Hang on, listen, if I just

If I take a plastic bag

I got a bag of chips

Shh, don't tell the wife, she'll be mad

Because of a heart attack

Doctor said if I keep eating like this

But what's he know, fucking doctors, right?

Well, if you smack him on the ass

You can go jerk yourself off.

Homer, come here, buddy.

Come here, masturbator.

Yeah, you like these.

Come on, buddy.

I'm going to put them here in the ottoman.

Get on camera.

No, go up there, asshole.

Don't use your big nose to get them.

I'll see if I can bait him.

I've got to throw a bunch of potato chips up here.

See if that works.

Okay.

No, no, no.

All right.

MadhouseLive.com, as I said.

You can also check out our YouTube, Madhouse Radio on YouTube.

youtube.com slash madhouse radio however you do it follow me on twitter madhouse on twitter that's

at madhouse on twitter there's homer you get him hey buddy everyone look at homer right now on

youtube look at that sad boy all right uh madhouse facebook.com forward slash madhouse live my name

is carlito cross on facebook add me and for friends with anyone else in the prank call community you

can find me there probably uh please support the show over at patreon.com forward slash madhouse

That's patreon.com forward slash Madhouse.

We got rewards for your ass.

If you're a $1 contributor, $1 a month, get Netsu Militia Membership.

You become a Militia Member status.

The Madhouse Militia, which Milkman is the leader of.

He's the commandante of that.

You get access to the Instant Show Reel, which is a Dropbox link.

You need a Dropbox account.

account and uh the this show when it's over as soon as it's done gets uploaded to that dropbox

in 128k mp3 unedited from beginning to end so if you miss the show or if you want if you want to

have a copy with you know all the crazy shit in there that happens you know the stuff that you

might miss on the podcast you get to you get that right there and you don't have to wait for the

show to get edited you get instant access that's the real deal baby it's the real fucking deal

Holyfield. $5 gets you a horse

membership, which gets you that access

as well as the Discord access

to the Discord chat. If you're in Discord

chat, keep in mind your

chat is appearing on the YouTube.

Just be careful what you're doing. That's the real

machine horse deal, Lucille.

Yep. You can make a one-time

donation. This is a new feature.

MadHouseLive.com forward slash

donate. MadHouseLive.com

forward slash donate. I believe you can

also donate in YouTube with a

super chat donation of any amount you want as well that'll make it to me in a few months uh if

you want to chat discord.gg forward slash pranks that's the hijinks prank uh call community chat

room discord.gg forward slash pranks so if you're not a horse member um i would prefer anyway go to

the discord.gg slash prank go to hijinks because really not much is happening in the madhouse

discord yet maybe one day we're growing it you can also chat on irc over at prank dose.com

on prankdose.com, which is provided by Enigma.

Good guy.

I don't talk to him much anymore.

And if you want to hear the show on the go, dial 605-475-0097.

Once again, if you want to hear the show, we'll let you have a news and internet plan.

You'll see the working phone line on a cell or a landline, 605-475-0097, free of charge.

It's the shoutcast feed.

You can hear us live or hear prank calls 24-7, repeats of the show.

Anyway, just go to madhouselive.com if you missed any of that.

Madhouselive.com.

All the links are there on the front page.

That's all you got to remember.

And also, if you want to call in, you can.

405-396-6884.

The mouth line is open.

405-39-MOUTH.

You got to say it like that.

98.6.

MOUTH.

Yeah.

All right.

And thanks to Aussie Jack who donated a $2 through YouTube Super Chat.

All right, Aussie Jack, we hear you.

We see you.

welcome back to the fold welcome back there's no need to get crazy with the donating i don't ask

everyone to be like give me money give me money you know give me bags of money i'm just saying

hey you want to throw me a dollar or two it helps out because fuck student loans are expensive uh

let's call a safeway in hawaii we also got numbers from parkman and i believe we have some ethan

numbers i think i heard a ding over there on the facebook i'll have to check that and we're going

to get to those guys don't worry we're going to get to those we're going to go probably 10 minutes

it's over today because i started 10 minutes later than i wanted to so we're looking at about uh

shit we're almost through the first hour now so we're looking to end the show around uh 10 10 p.m

eastern 7 10 p.m pacific over there where milkman is at where they now call typhoons hurricanes

apparently god damn it i need answers about that motherfucker hey can i call on you is there a news

see a news news news line called national weather service it's called the news line i'm sure they

think i'd like call now for information on hurricane dingbat whatever it's called no no no

that guy yeah no that's long beard i'll call him i'll be like where's your god now no wait a minute

i'm confusing moses and noah oh my god they look the same to me you know white guy beard hello

thank you for calling khon2 if you know your party's extension you may dial it at okay honey

I need K-Hun.

Quiet, quiet, quiet.

Press 1.

For the sales department, press 2.

For accounting and administration.

The option is calling you.

This is happening again.

K-H-1.

Yeah, hi.

I have a question.

Do you have a, is this line available if I have questions about the hurricane?

I'm from Arizona.

I've never lived in one, and I'm on Iwa Beach, I guess it's called, Papipi Road, and I'm

kind of scared.

Is there a meteorologist or someone in that department I can talk to?

Our weather guy is on air right now, but do you have a phone book?

Well, I mean, let me ask you this.

First of all, I thought these were called typhoons.

What happened?

No, here it's called hurricanes.

I thought they were called typhoons in the Pacific.

No, not here.

All right.

Am I going to be okay?

Like, am I going to die?

I don't know what to do.

I don't have plywood.

I tried to get plywood, and I don't have a pickup.

up um you'll be fine as long as you as long as you have your supplies i don't that's the thing

i don't have a hotel room and i mean i have an airbnb and i don't have any supplies nothing like

food and water nothing there's nothing here they shut they're gonna shut the water off they told

us oh they shouldn't be shutting the water off well the owner called from from he's on vacation

he's renting out the place to us and he called and he said i you know he said like motherfucker

fuck are you he said to me that i get the fuck out of the house he said you know i'm like what

the fuck do i do you know and then i was like you motherfucker i'm gonna shut the water and

the power off he said to get us out of here he said he was gonna do that um what do i do

but there are shelters open if you need to go to a shelter

distant where i'm from in minnesota on our news station we have um channel six on your side

where they help you in cases like this.

Can you?

Is that guy available, maybe, to help me out to get some plywood or something?

We don't have anybody available to do that.

Come on, honey, baby.

Come on.

This is a...

Well, you have the information.

You're the keepers of the information.

Right.

And so there are shelters available if you need a place to go.

Yeah, but, I mean, it's, like, dirty people there, right?

No, not necessarily.

Well, I mean, it's, like, poor, dirty people.

I mean, is it going to be, like, Hawaiian people there?

That's very unnecessary, sir.

i mean the my uh my name the neighbor here was like stay away from them he said kanakas or

something like that kanakas and like what's that and he said you know you know and he

he made his eyes like squinty okay i gotta go bye oh shit i lost the milkman uh people please

test the number it's not ringing through 405-396-6884 i don't know why i wouldn't be

working let me test that real quick for a call for a call milkman i didn't even notice he dropped

off shit there's a number there's a call coming in and uh call canceled i hit uh i think i hit

reject i'm a half blind fucking piece of shit well that's working good good let's call milkman

then they're hit or miss so to tell you guys i'm in the middle of putting in a new better heart uh

solid state hard drive in this main computer that i use for the show the major reason is that i

I usually reformat my hard drive and get a fresh Windows install about every six months.

Hey, Milkman, we're back.

I didn't even notice you dropped, buddy.

I don't know what happened.

Sorry, buddy.

That's my fault.

I take responsibility.

Not anymore.

No, the news lady was not happy that I said that my neighbor made squinty eyes and said,

watch out for those kanakas, and he did the squinty eyes.

Really?

I missed all that.

I missed it.

Oh, no.

Well, you get disconnected.

You should be calm.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, well, you'll hear it.

Look, man, do you have Dropbox?

Can't you get these shows unedited and listen to them and jerk off?

No, they canceled my Dropbox.

Oh, God, it's always something with you.

Madhouse Radio.

Hi, asshole.

How can I help you?

Hey, Big Carlito.

What's up, man?

It's Major Tinnitus.

Major Tinnitus.

How's that Tinnitus doing, man?

Hey, Drew.

Hey, Millsman.

All right, cool.

Major Tinnitus, have you ever lived through a hurricane?

Would it scare you, or have you been scared by one?

I have not, man.

Man, I'm up north by the Great Lakes, so I don't really have a lot of that going on.

Okay, okay.

Is there anything bad that happened?

Did you get some snow?

Is that some pussy snow?

Is that all?

There's nothing crazy up there?

Yeah, pretty much.

No.

We're safe and timid.

Well, that's...

How do you live in that cold, motherfucker?

At all.

I was born here.

Are you in Minnesota?

Or Wisconsin?

No, Ohio.

Wisconsin.

Cleveland.

Minneconston.

Up there and party on the flat?

That'll beat your ass off.

yeah hi i have an issue all right so i'm in an airbnb and i'm not from here i'm from minnesota

okay all right and i've never i don't know hurricane for shit i'm sorry for cursing i'm

just real nervous i was so nervous i took i took a basketball squeeze it so hard it exploded and

my glasses are messed up now i almost said the f word um okay so i don't know what to do and they

were suggesting maybe call you guys to get some what island are you on i'm on uh do you know

know where papipi road is no i don't know off the top of my head what you know all i know is

it's eva beach eva beach okay you're on oahu oh shit is that where i'm at okay yeah i just got

here to air and b&b and we contacted the owner letting them know hey like what do we do and the

guys he said you're he said you're f'd they said f-u-c-k to us he said you're f-u-c-k-e-d he said

and he said he's on vacation don't bother him and then he threatened to get the electricity

shut off he said he was going to call in and cancel the electricity if we if we called him

again because we called him like three times like listen like we're you know this isn't fair

like we need yeah you're worried well and he he said to get plywood out of our ass he said to me

oh yeah okay so am i are we gonna die without plywood um eppa beach may get a lot of rain and

wind oh oh god yeah um do you know what

are you watching tv and getting updates well that's the thing he shut it off he

shut off the cable he shut off your cable he called he said

he was calling i thought he was just joking he's like

i'm gonna call the cable company now they're gonna shut

off the tv first of all and if you call again i'm gonna have them turn off the

the electricity i'm gonna call the power company and i said you try they

They won't come out and do that.

But then the next thing I know, the cable went out.

I don't know if it was him or maybe he did it or maybe it was just a voice.

Is the weather bad right now where you are?

Yeah, there's like a foot of water outside the door.

It's raining?

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, there's waves coming in.

There's a lot of waves coming in.

Oh, there's waves coming in.

Yeah, we're right on the beach machine.

Okay.

Can I have your phone number and your name?

Yeah, yeah.

Give me a second here.

Okay.

let me see in the good working number here 405 okay 396 okay 6884 6884 and what's your name

it rings here but the problem is that it's uh it's like his business so it says like

front reception i guess when you call but that's it it rings here though oh that's that's his phone

number for the house yeah that's not here yeah because we ourself we have we have a service it

doesn't work we have guardian guardian mobile from minnesota and they don't have any towers

we're a small company right we're from the middle of nowhere i don't know what i'm gonna do i don't

know we're gonna die probably i guess we're gonna die because i don't know what to do there there's

nearby shelters that you can go to i'm sure um dirty people okay um so you can either stay where

you are or go into a shelter so the shelter may be better than where you're staying since you are

close to the water right so if you can do you have internet access well no i have nothing okay

Okay, let me look up what's closest to you.

One second.

And we have five dogs.

Yeah, they're pet-friendly.

Okay.

I'll find you a pet-friendly one.

Damn it.

God damn it.

All right, and let me ask you, because the neighbor, he said to watch out for Kanikas, he said.

I don't know what he meant.

He said if you go to them, he's like a redneck guy.

He's like, if you go to their shelters, you've got to watch out for them Kanikas, something like that.

He's probably referring to local people.

because yeah you know why because it's like what's that and he's just started he's like

like what's that what's uh whatever and then he said he he he put his hands like on his temples

and he stretched his eyes so they were like slanted and he said you know you know he said

that is oh that's what he meant yeah wow but it it's fine i mean we are normal people there's

nothing unusual okay i'm gonna find you where you go okay one second so you're a you're what

What do they call it? Kanaka? Kanaka?

Yeah, I wouldn't say that, but yeah.

Why? What's that mean?

It's Kanaka, and it's just a local person.

Kanaka? Kanaka. Okay. All right.

Okay, let me check.

I'm going to say that now when I get there.

Yeah.

Are you touching the computer?

Yes, I am.

How many penises are on the computer?

I'm trying to help you.

Okay.

I'm trying to be professional, okay?

I'm going to put my brother, Major Tinnitus, on the line.

He works over at Hickam Field.

He's a major at Joint Base Pearl Harbor.

Could you stay with your brother?

Well, they won't let me there because I'm not military, they said.

The guy was like, get the fuck out of here right now.

The guy tried to go there.

He was like, give me your identification.

Like that.

He pulled out his gun and started shooting it in the air.

and then he um okay there was like an oil drum pen and paper there was an oil drum he started

shooting at it and it caught on they blew up and it caught on fire okay so you can are you ready

to write down the name of the school and the helicopter crashed there was a blackhawk helicopter

and it was flying really low they were like we need to evacuate from hurricane and um the the

guy at the gate was shooting the gun in the air and it crashed i'm sorry i'm really busy are you

Are you ready to write down the name of the school?

And then he said, I got five stars now.

I got five stars.

And he started.

Thank you.

He got in his Karuma, and he was just driving his Karuma.

Yeah, GTA V, everybody.

I don't know.

She was, everything I threw at her, it was like, hee hee.

You like that?

You sounded sexy.

Yeah.

He said, we're not bad people.

That fucking Homer dog, he ate like two chips,

and now i got a mess of chips on the fucking love seat here motherfucker you trying to get

him on camera real quick before i go oh yeah what's up we didn't get to talk what's up um

yeah i don't want to tie up the line i was just wondering what you've been listening to lately

what kind of good tunes you got going um uh lately what was i listening to today oh shit

um honestly today was all uh google play music there's a channel there there's a station on

they're called uh what is it uh old school instrumentals like no lyrics just old school

instrumentals they're pretty like some kind of very cool that was pretty cool um i do hate to

say that i was listening to armin van buren's latest episode of his show yesterday i do like

edm it's one of my guilty pleasures i listened to that yesterday there's nothing wrong with that

yeah i haven't what the fuck music noz i listened to a lot of noz this week i actually got i got

I got Nas playing when I come back.

I was listening to Nas, his newest album in particular.

I listened to that and some of his older ones.

That's it.

That's it, really.

What have you been listening to?

You hear any of the new Gorillaz?

No.

You know, I had an opportunity to see the Gorillaz in concert a month ago or so.

Oh, man.

I didn't get to go because of work.

That's a bummer.

My cousin in Miami was going to fly up because she's a big Gorillaz fan like me.

We always talk about the Gorillaz.

They were in concert in Philly, and I missed it.

crashed that off of my list i mean i know they're a virtual group or whatever but it would have been

cool you know now their performances now are more like you know they're more live and present

right um you still listen to a lot of that nickelback here mono no i don't listen to

nickelback um i didn't i i listened i i listened to the new gorillas album a few times and honestly

i didn't really dig it i mean nothing stood out at me and it got a lot of critical acclaim

um from what i was seeing but it just didn't i don't know like i like plastic beach was good

that was my last you know that was their was that their most recent album since this or they had the

fall they had they had the phone in between and now they have another new one that's like a shorter

thing yeah yeah the fall like came out kind of right after uh plastic beach yeah the now now

now now yeah i heard that that's the one the one that just came out recently i heard it didn't do

nothing for me um i may be missing an album between there but plastic beach if you're a fan of the

show you know i really like that album a lot i play a lot i'm a big fan of the demon days album

album also i played that a lot for a whole year that live version is awesome man yeah yeah yeah

apparently those live shows are really cool for the for gorillas and yeah unfortunately because

of work it didn't work out suck fucking suck glad i didn't i didn't lose any money on the venture so

good luck yep all right our major tinnitus i recommend uh for your tinnitus um use a blow

dryer after you get out of the shower just in the not right up to the ear but on your side of your

your head uh while you have a q-tip and you want to dry it out really well um i do a i will try

that i use a q-tip and i do a wicking i just leave it in there for a while i wake most of

the moisture out then i do the hair dryer and then when i then maybe 15 minutes later i go in

again with a q-tip to get all the moisture out and earwax that i can i don't know you probably

don't really suffer from tonight you might not suffer from it listen i hear you gotta go i know

i'm keeping you you have yourself a good night all right all right don't want to keep the lines

It's tied up, man.

I love you, honey baby.

All right, all right, all right.

I love you too, buddy.

The fuck he got me to say that?

Peace out, brother.

Major Tinnitus, everyone.

Long time fan of the show.

Going back since 2002.

None

of that is true

not even the stuff I said about tonight

I have no idea what I'm talking about

I like that stuff there

where he was in the call

where he was giving orders

major Air Force base

oh that was a good call

that was fun

that's a keeper there

that's pretty funny

alright let's go back to

let me get to the email

I'm going to get the numbers from Parkman that I think I saw come up.

Dude, we got shit out of them, man.

We better get to them, man.

Oh, yeah, because they'll close early, man.

They close early.

Yeah, dude.

He always has good numbers, but we got to keep on schedule.

All right.

Ethan could not get good numbers tonight, and that's fine.

You take the night off.

It's okay, buddy.

All right.

We got plenty of Parkman, you said.

You got an advanced copy of this list, apparently.

Yep.

UK Godfather.

I got one the same time you did.

All right, let me get this caller on the line here.

Caller, you're on the air.

Don't be a motherfucker, you.

Hello?

Hey, Carlito, this is Nate.

I'm a big fan of yours.

Nate, you got to regulate.

Nate!

What's up?

Hey, Milkman, I'm your biggest fan, man.

I love all you do and you add to the show.

Nate, all right.

Nate, rockin', baby.

Thank you, brother.

Now you're on Milkman's side.

That is always going to want you to be on.

That's awesome.

Nate, thank you, because Milkman gets ragged on a lot in YouTube,

and he was reading the stuff and he got

real depressed and yeah

I thought he was going to start drinking sake again

yeah we don't want that

well you milk me a lot

I'm glad you're back

you guys are the best just keep it up

thanks buddy alright

take care

yeah big night

yeah alright his line is

open 405-396-6884

that was very nice of him to say

good job Mike

Read that first number, dude.

There's that first number.

It's already off to a great start at Parkman Center, man.

Read that one.

All right.

Engineering.

Okay.

Engineering.

I like the premise.

Read the premise.

Call before 8.

All right.

I'll try it, but he said call before 8.

They may be closed machine, you know?

Is that your time?

He may have meant my...

Oh, I don't know.

See, I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know how he operates.

Let's see.

We got a caller calling in, but I got to do this prank.

We are calling with Roger.

If you know your party's extension, please press 9.

For a company directory by name, please press pound to leave a general message with your name and contact information 1.

Thank you.

I waited too long.

The idea was to call about a horse machine, mechanical horse to capture horse semen.

Damn it, that would have been a good idea.

Did I lose milk?

I lost the milk.

Shit.

Hello, caller.

How are you?

Hey, pinche reputa.

This is Mikey G from the Bronx.

What's up, kid?

Hey, reputa, tu madre, reputissima madre.

what's that what's that what's up big bronx how you doing man yep chilling man what's going on

yo did you guys hear did you guys hear that new um hansen record mbop no that shit is oh dude

no have you have you heard the new django reinhardt the new django reinhardt record

oh my no django reinhardt is what is this this is some kind of yeah i don't know

please record your message when you i'm trying i'm trying to get milkman on the line here

Oh, yeah.

No, actually,

I like some old dude.

He's probably like

100 years old now.

Yeah, he's like,

what's happening over there?

He's got the best guitar solo

and he's got two fingers.

It's like from an old show

I was listening to.

Two fingers?

Is he talking about a real dude?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gypsy jazz.

At the time,

please record your message.

Gypsy jazz.

When you've finished recording,

you may have.

Oh, shit.

I straight up lost Milkman.

Like, oh, man.

Man, and my cell phone battery's down to, oh, 13.

I thought it said 2%.

You listen to any of that hip-hop?

Any of that hip-hop?

That new shit?

Uh, you know, the new hip-hop really throws me for a loop.

I like, you know, dudes like Kendrick Lamar is pretty good, I think.

Like, you know, I like the...

The beats are good.

Yeah, I like the BMS.

The beats are good, but man, just the rapping about, I don't know, it's really getting out of hand now, man.

The rapping about the bullshit.

Yeah.

Like, get the fuck out of here.

i heard snoop talking somewhere he was like yeah these hello look man hello hey i'm calling the

cell phone uh you're you're uh you dropped out but you weren't picking up when i was calling you

are you are you ready oh my phone died all right you piece of shit you're gonna call you back from

the machine now all right don't be alarmed okay i'm sorry all right it's all right you're a horse

hurry the fuck up hurry the fuck up you tell milkman to hurry the fuck up i knew it was

something something stupid that happened man i forgot i'm doing a show i should have charged

the phone i could have connected i was listening to django ryan art man so what did you say he's

a guitar guy is that what's going on with that guy django hey milkman you know who django django

roach is huh well uh we got uh we got uh mike mikey d from the bronx right is that where you

are mike yeah mikey g mikey g mikey g from the bronx my brother from the bronx how's it going

man hermano milkman what's up bro milkman did you tell me did you talk about a two-fingered

guitarist once named what is it gypsy gypsy red what is it reinhardt man he's like the god of

music man because i was like actually that guy is pretty good if you're into jazz though you

gotta have a head for that shit you know what i mean you do you actually play jazz i play a lot

of jazz but i don't know jazz i don't like current jazz musicians and shit i don't know

i just gotta play hot jazz then man that's what it is hot yeah hot jazz yeah it's hot

hot jazz in your mouth hot jazz in your mouth i think we got a title for the show mark that

on the big board hot jazz in your mouth it's a contender who we calling las vegas golf club

Call before 8.

We're late.

20 minutes late.

Probably won't pick up.

Definitely the mouth.

They'll save me for hot tats.

Maybe I'll call these next week.

It's 8 o'clock once.

All right, this is Bikini.

Calling DLS Vegas Golf.

This is JoJo.

How can I help you?

Oh, I thought you guys would be closed.

Thank God you're open.

Yeah.

Hello?

How can I help you?

Yeah, listen, I'm in charge of this guy named Mikey.

He's in town.

I'm supposed to show him a good time.

He likes golf.

Yeah.

We're wanting to see if we can get him.

That's me.

Yeah.

What kind of caddies do you have there?

You might be calling the wrong golf course because we don't have a caddy here.

You don't have golf caddies there?

You got to carry your own shit then?

Hello?

Are there any Mexicans that work there maybe?

Do you want to make a buck?

Oh, I shouldn't have cursed.

I shouldn't have cursed.

Why did I curse?

That's what Milkman says.

Milkman's like, don't curse, man.

You can't curse at the beginning.

Don't curse in the pot.

My wife was cursing in Spanish.

Maybe it was that.

Probably.

Dominican.

Oh, man.

Yeah, you probably had some fun fights.

You're better off spelling out your curse words, brother.

You're better off just not pissing off your wife is what you got to do.

She'll break your cock.

That's fucking...

And she had her puta.

She was like, you know what that means?

Yeah, but that's not Caribbean.

I know, that's Puerto Rican.

Right, right, right.

That's not...

Yeah, but she knows what it means.

Because she watches Univision.

She probably watched Saba de Gigante as a kid.

Oh, yeah.

Is your wife there?

Ask her if she used to watch Saba de Gigante.

I bet she did.

Hold on.

Who's that guy? Chavo? Are you talking about Chavo?

No, Salvador Higante. Don Francisco.

Hold on, hold on.

Pachi, Annie, do you know Don Francisco?

Salvador Higante?

Do you ever watch... I'm talking to you.

Nicole is saying hi to you.

Hey, Nicole, dimelo. Que lo que?

La negra, mi pollita negra.

Do you know Salvador Higante?

Why is he not looking at you, though, now?

Hi. Hola, negra.

Hola, tan linda.

Oh, my God.

She won't answer your questions.

She need a third shoe while we connect your call to you know extension one

What is it called?

You know, she knows it. Oh good. Good. Does she miss it? Ask her. She misses it

All right, so extra I know to extra I knew much of how to go I got there

Does she did she ever watch did she ever watch cabrona de las seis?

Do you ever do you ever watch cabrona de la face?

What?

Who are you talking to?

I'm talking to my friend, Puerto Rican.

Oh, shit.

Don't get mad.

Don't be mad.

You know, babe, she loves Puerto...

We have some good Puerto Rican friends, though.

I hate Dominicans.

You guys are Puerto Rican.

No, you don't.

You guys love each other.

Mike, say hi to Nicole.

Hi, Nicole.

Hello.

Mi pujita negra.

Hello.

Sorry, I'm just talking to some family.

You there?

Bikini model judge?

What it's like.

I'm sorry.

I'm enjoying it.

I thought they picked up at the line.

that we're calling it's taking too long that was supposed to be right no then she's facetiming her

cousin over there in in dr and then that's why it's all and then milk and then milkman's in the

back she's fucking talking up a storm milkman doesn't like dominicans he's from he's porter

from the puerto rican side there's beef i don't know if you knew but there's because they're all

The saying is that the Mexicans are California, like the Dominicans are Puerto Rico, I guess.

That's kind of like, yeah, I don't believe that.

Dominicans are racist.

You know what they say?

That they're white.

Puerto Ricans are American.

They say they're white.

All right, so let's see.

No, they say, what are you, a fucking Haitian?

That's what they all say.

Oh, fucking Haitian.

That's like the biggest thing.

All right, so is your wife dark-skinned Dominican or white-skinned Dominican?

Can you share?

She's black.

Like, she's really black.

Does she say she's not black, though?

Is that for real?

Like, I hear that happens a lot.

Yeah, no, I'm mocha.

I'm not black.

I'm mocha.

Some of them have black African characteristics.

Some of them have Indian black characteristics, which you look more.

The chicks are so hot, though.

Oh, they're good women.

If they're Indian black, like East Indies, then that would be a dogler.

So do you like Mangu?

It's more of a joke.

Does she make mangu for you?

Yeah.

That's good shit.

Yeah, yeah.

We're mofongo guys.

Do you guys do mofongo?

Do Dominicans do mofongo?

Does she make it?

Oh, yeah.

She doesn't make it, but I get it in the restaurant.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think that's more Puerto Rican.

I don't know.

The Dominicans, not you guys, but Dominicans are obsessed that they think they invented the plantain.

Plantain.

Several Dominicans were like, you Puerto Ricans don't know shit about plantains.

We invented it.

Like, how did you invent the plantains from Africa?

I'm sorry to delay your available representative.

Oh.

You shortly.

Oh, I forget.

Norwegian Cruise Line.

Yeah, we could talk about Dominicans calling us honky.

I got called honky once when I was younger.

Honky lips or just honky?

Just honky.

Like when I was like 10 or something.

We're waiting for a Norwegian to pick up here.

Shit.

There was a guy that called about that prank that you did with the pants.

With that old man with the pants.

The Christian guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, the no-sags guy.

guy that that shit was so funny i agree i should call him back i've got his business card here

somewhere and it was like he was circling the waters like a shark you know what i mean and

i'm just like that's a great call man you should put that as a single thing on on youtube you think

so just to call to him it was i thought it was kind of long i was my my whole concern

no and i'm just saying it's taking too long i'm going to the next one here custom bra

bra online retailer okay custom bras there's another one you're saying yeah there's another

one where you were calling i think guam and you were talking about to some old lady and i i was

like oh no like about the alarm you were like and then i was like oh man this is over this is not

cool this is like oh you know like this is not ethical and then you were like then you were like

it's the alarm and it was like the nuclear alarm the nuclear attack alarm yeah and then it was

Was that fart sound?

Yeah.

Oh, my God, dude.

Yeah, you know, that was an accident.

I accidentally hit the sound.

Well, no, I meant to hit it once, but it was on loop, and I didn't know it.

So I just kept doing it, and I couldn't shut it off, and I just lost it.

Yeah.

I just called you back.

Yeah, that's what it was.

You just keep going.

That's the alarm that North Korea is going to attack.

Hi, there.

Thanks for calling 3rd Love.

Hi, though.

Please hold while we find one of our California-based pit stylists to assist you.

If you are calling about a prior order, please have your order number available.

Please note that your call may be recorded for quality purposes.

If you would like to request a callback, please press 2.

No.

Just get that sultry phone sex on, murder boys.

Please press 2.

Hello?

Hi.

Yes, representative.

I'm a person.

Okay.

Oh, good, good.

I thought you were a computer.

I'm ordering my girlfriend a bra machine.

I'm sorry, what was that?

I'm ordering my girlfriend a bra machine.

We don't have machines.

jeans well that's what i call them you know because they kind of hold them back you know

oh gotcha okay um it's inside joke gotcha okay uh give me one moment to pull up the website

let's go let's go okay and then do you know what uh style she wanted um well i mean should i

describe what she's talking about uh yeah okay it's on her upper upper ventral region of her

her torso wait i'm i'm trying to repeat that it's supposed to cover the the upper ventral region of

her torso and it serves as her mammary gland and it produces and secretes milk to feed infants

real quick i'm going to place you on a brief hold i think i'm having but it developed it

she developed them from her embryological tissue and at puberty her estrogens in conjunction with

with growth hormones caused her breast to develop.

Sorry.

She didn't go to anatomy.

All right.

I'm worried about getting flagged on YouTube

and not making my 30 cents this week,

so I've got to keep pausing it.

That's what I'm thinking.

It doesn't work.

I tried it.

It doesn't work.

It sucks.

We can't play that fucking...

We can't play Saul Rosenberg falling down

and hitting the dog anymore into the pole

because fucking...

We'll make our own, dude.

We're going to make our own.

Yeah.

We'll just still flag it.

That sounds too much like Jerky Boy.

That's what the YouTube computer is going to say.

I'll call back.

I don't want to make Homer squeal.

He's my boy.

It's worth recording.

God damn, that's lower than 30.

Do what?

If you would like to request a callback, please press 2.

One breath is smaller than the other.

Larger.

Does that happen, really?

I didn't even realize that.

We got music playing.

God damn it.

I can't stop it.

Hopefully they're going to flag us.

The fucking nerd asshole that made that back in 1997 is going to make his fucking 10 cents off of me,

and I get nothing.

Fuck that guy.

Yeah.

Anyway, I don't blame the Jerky Boys or Johnny Brennan for us getting flagged.

I blame UMG Music Group.

Wherever the fuck they are.

UMG Music Group.

Fucking shit.

I don't, can I, I mean, I hope I can at least play a little bit of it here and there.

Like a little, not the full.

I think it's because it plays for so long.

Maybe.

Did I tell you I met one of the lawyers that songs the rights?

I met one of them.

Yeah?

Copyright lawyer?

Like you, you're, was it, you did an Uber for this person?

Yeah, he was a big wig man.

He told me Atomic Dog made him so much money.

Yeah?

That was the most fucking sampled song ever.

I love that song.

Oh, because Snoop sampled the shit out of that one song,

and he made a ton of money off of that, probably, just on the replays alone.

Just on the plays alone, Snoop did that, yeah.

All they did was just sit there and listen for anybody to have a few beats of it,

anywhere in their music, man, they'd probably get that money.

Or maybe they don't.

I don't think Atomic Dog, I don't think they would make that money.

They would just get a big bonus anyway.

All right.

Hey, Mikey G, I'm going to let you go.

Yeah, what's up, buddy?

Yeah, guys, have fun, man.

Thanks for everything.

Milkman, Django, Reinhardt, be good.

Yeah.

Hey, I was just kidding about Dominican stuff.

I'm sorry.

I'm not like that, man.

I'm just kidding.

No, it's all love.

Make it fun.

All right.

I think it's more like people from there.

If you're from there and you're from there, those people are friendly.

But it's when those people from there and people from New York mix, sometimes it's a little...

Oh, yeah.

El Presidente.

El Presidente beer.

I feel the same.

Yeah, El Presidente.

Hell, yeah.

Yeah, you got to put some Clamato in that shit.

That's what's up.

All right, I'm going to let you go.

Get the fuck out.

Bato, maricón.

Okay.

All right.

Cabrón.

La cabrona de las seis.

All right, that was, I said, does she watch the slut of the 6 o'clock slut is what I asked.

I just made that up.

Does she watch the, does she ever watch the 6 o'clock slut?

All right, everyone.

Madhouse Radio.

MadhouseLive.com is the website.

site we are making our way talking about breasts and yeah and uh hurricanes in honolulu no no and

breast and breath there you go two of breasts and bosoms bosoms and breasts all right we got a drug

testing center here we go we got a call let's take this call let's take a call car you're on

the air please be respectful hello hey carlito it's brendan hey brendan what's up man how you

How are you doing, Big Brennan?

I'm all right.

I sent you some Hawaiian numbers on Facebook Messenger.

On the Facebook?

Okay, good.

Do you think they're open?

Did you?

They're grocery stores, and then I think one's an animal hospital, which I called, and they were still open.

Ah, yes.

Good.

Animal hospitals are important.

Yeah.

We lost Milkman.

Hey, how you doing, honey baby?

Hello.

Hi.

Hi, I'm just wondering, when I come in, is there an inspection of my body at all?

Who are you taking it for?

It's my drug test, I have to...

I know, but who are you taking the drug test for?

It's for a job.

Okay, what company?

Cross and Associates.

Cross and Associates?

Cross. Cross.

Cross and Associates?

Yeah.

Do you have the paperwork with you?

No, I have to pick it up and then I've got to get it done.

And what time are you open until?

Because I guess there's some kind of, like a thunderstorm or something coming?

We're open until 7.

I just moved here for a job, and everyone is telling me,

aren't you ready for the storm, the storm?

You're saying?

I don't know what, I mean, I'm from Minnesota.

I don't know what I'm missing.

I got off the plane.

Everyone's freaking out over here.

And the boss is saying, you need to get this drug test done now.

You need to go now.

They're all closed.

I got to go pay.

I was supposed to.

Yeah, we closed that.

Is it a DOT?

Is it a non-DOT?

I mean, am I going to be driving?

Yeah, I'm going to be driving.

Like a truck?

Like a big diesel?

Like you have a commercial license?

A pickup.

Well, I mean, I have a commercial license, but I don't know if that's what my job is going to do.

So it depends on what test you're doing.

We have non-DOTs and DOTs, and each one has different protocols on how it's collected.

Okay, all right.

Because, I mean, I just want to make sure, like, you know the inside part of my calf?

I'm going to tape something there, like a bag?

bag like and i mean it may feel kind of weird but it's just like it's uh like a colonoscopy

what's it called colonoscopy bag i have one of those uh i don't know because i don't collect

the guys because i don't know how it works do you guys check the temperature it says here to

that you check the temperature maybe yes all right what temperature does it need to be uh

that i don't know i just know we do check for that i know what it has to be so you would have

have to that's just something you'll have to talk to the collector about i have it right here listen

98.6 ml you know because that's the okay whatever oh jeez that was awesome that's true though right

i mean that's what it has to be yeah let's get milkman here damn it he dropped out of 15 minutes

30 seconds i think the fucking thing is happening again with the 15 minutes again

shit and that fucking buzz what was the last time you had to take a drug test carlito for a job

2008 hey how you doing hey a big milkman i tried calling in on that number and it wouldn't wouldn't

go it dropped you right at 15 minutes again i think did it again milkman it did it again

yeah i know i'm sorry man i'm trying i'm trying i don't know why it does that i don't know

it's the number you're using oh that's right call me on this number again that's right i'm

just to call you from it yeah yeah what's up yeah go ahead carlito i got a like a phone call story

It actually happened today when I came home from work.

I got a call.

It was one of those scammer calls, and it said the caller ID was from Ohio.

And I always pick up very abrasively when I answer those calls anymore.

Freak people out.

And it was like, this is a serious matter.

It's one of those recordings.

So I hang up, and I called it back.

It was some Indian dude.

An Indian dude answered the phone.

Like, hello?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I was yelling and screaming at him.

And then he called me a mother choke.

and i and then i started yelling back like that never happened before ever did you call him a

bancho or anything did you get it yeah i called him a i called him a bancho and i hung up

like yeah i had never done that before yeah man i was um i had a snow day once snow day from work

so i was home and the phone rang i picked it up it was one of those guys and he go yes you call

and i said yeah i don't talk to banchodes and he goes banchode motherfucker and he started going

off and he hung up the phone and i'm like i just laughed and uh i've told people about that whenever

you get the indian people calling this game you just say call them telling your name is banchode

and uh yeah well i remember um those of you uh calling the tax report people and i actually

started doing it myself yeah like but they're like they're like onto it they know if you're

They got a lot of calls from the community.

Also, the Cat Legend, he's a friend of the PLA, he's a friend of mine

on Facebook a lot. He's

pranked at length some of those Indian scammers and I think he made friends with one of them

and he'll call the center like, hey, what's up? And they do pranks

together. They'll tell him, call this guy here.

I think that's accurate. I think we'd have to get

get legend on the line here one day my fear now is like especially if you're just using skype

like they can get a hold of your ip address somehow and dock you and like yeah i mean i

guess i'm not yeah i'm not all that like computer savvy so i don't know if that's possible but you

need a vpn sir about that i'm poor you need a damn vpn look into that vpn.com and use code

code word madhouse to get 10 off all right all right legacy if you have a court account you

You get an extra free month.

Legacy Helo, this is Tracy.

Can I help you?

Yeah, listen, there's a hurricane coming.

Is the hurricane coming?

Well, we've had rain, but I don't think it's going to hit this side.

Oh, shit.

Thank fucking God.

All right, so I just moved here.

I need to do some physical therapy.

Okay.

All right.

Let me get you down.

I don't know if, I'm not sure if they do outpatient or not,

so let me get you down to.

It's my sciatica.

Sciatica.

Okay, let me get you down to our therapy department

because we're a long-term care facility.

and my hamstring also okay all right what's this gonna take long and is it gonna take long for what

i can ask you a question up front though before you transfer because maybe i don't need this to

talk to you guys maybe i need to call somewhere else you might want to call like a there like

if you let me talk if you let me explain go ahead all right so i'm staring and staying in an airbnb

and there's a neighbor here that used to live in texas you know his name is clint i don't know if

if you know what I'm talking about?

No.

All right.

So he said, like, he's like,

you need to be careful for the Kanika, he said.

Kanika.

And I'm like, what do you mean?

And he said, they're bad people.

And I'm like, well, and he started chuckling,

and then he put his hands up to his forehead,

and he pulled the skin back,

so it made it look like he had slanted eyes.

And I'm like, oh.

He said, yeah, they're bad.

They're bad, he said.

So he said there were dirty people.

Is this that kind of place, or?

We're a long-term care facility,

so we're like a nursing home oh so you can't massage me on my side no no well then why don't

you tell me that before motherfucker you i i tried to well god damn it that's the problem

why we got an answer to a woman is there a man i can talk to to complain about you um excuse me

is there a man i can talk to to complain about no there's not okay because you can't even

understand how business works i'm trying to talk to you in business terms honey to explain to you

that we i that's nice okay that we're that's nice that's nice hon very nice very good okay honey

baby very nice very good is can i talk to i'm gonna hang up you're very inappropriate can i

Can I talk to not-women right now?

Okay.

Oh, boy.

Yay for me.

Yay for me being racist.

Hey.

Do you still have Charlie's number?

Oh, we can try to call it.

Let's see.

From what I understand, he doesn't really pick up on her more.

Who's our caller on the line?

I didn't catch the name.

I lost him.

This is Brendan.

No, man.

Brendan.

What's up, brother?

What up, Milky?

I'm good.

milky liquor do drop in let's see what we got closed closed they closed it's it no but if i

know if i know correctly it always forwards to his cell phone let's see or the wife's cell phone i

think that's how they got his cell phone number our evil arty and uh lonesome loser they figured

it out those

two call me once real excited when

i was out because i had all this all these surgeries going on and arty and lonesome will

call me to cheer me up and we do pranks and we got charlie's cell phone number really like yeah

yes hello hello hello hello hey shit i i man i kicked the cable i kicked the cable i was about

to say and i couldn't hear anything and i then i can't find the fucking cable and what happened

and did Charlie say anything?

I heard him pick up

and I kicked the camera.

No, it went all staticky.

I think, yeah.

I think the phone screwed up.

God damn it.

Son of a bitch.

Yeah, he ain't going to pick up

that motherfucker.

Fucking asshole.

Shit.

Motherfucker.

Dammit.

Shit.

Cunt.

All right.

Well, I screwed that up.

The one other Hawaiian call

that you did back in the day

was that you, Dwight,

and a bunch of the other PCM people,

it was that Howard guy

who was

like

in for rent

and he threatened

to throw you

in the volcano

yeah that was

more Dwight

but yeah

he was like

I'll throw you

in the volcano

I was like

come here

Howley

yeah

I guess

then I looked

into that

and I guess

that was a

legit thing

back in the day

when the primates

were in charge

of Hawaii still

milkman

they would

throw people

in the volcano

we got a shit ton

of numbers

dude

we're gonna

let go man

oh

okay

alright

well yeah

let's stop

talking about

I'm not being uncool.

I'm just trying to keep this on schedule

because we've got a lot of prepared work ahead.

You're a total buzzkill.

Total buzzkill.

I know. I'm sorry.

Good job, Milkman.

Captain Sober Milk.

I'm not having another slug of milk now.

Make an executive order.

Having an Irish milk, probably.

Did you see the first call on there?

August is Filet Mignon month.

All month long,

We're celebrating the super tender steak that made us famous with delicious new filet mignon selections and specials on filet mignon steaks, roasts, and more.

Ask your representative about filet mignon specials.

Omaha Steaks.

This call may be monitored and recorded.

Is this not on our list?

Yes, it is, Milkman. Yes, it is.

Come on, man.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Come on. Let's go.

I'm on the wrong spot.

Let's go. Let's go.

This is a good show so far.

What was the title? What did I say?

What did I say for the title of the show? I forgot already.

Let's see.

Jazz in the mouth.

Is that jazz?

Hot jazz in the mouth.

Hot jazz.

Hot jazz in the mouth.

If you'd like to keep your phone line and receive a call back from an Omaha State representative,

please press 8.

Your phone number is...

It didn't go out, Milkman.

It didn't go out.

That fucking buzz is killing me.

I don't know if anyone can hear it.

I don't know if it's just me locally.

Son of a bitch.

All right, Brendan.

It's not coming on to my screen.

Good, good.

All right, Brendan, you take care.

All right, behave yourself, all right?

Yep, you too.

All right, man.

Yeah, it's good talking to you.

Thanks for the numbers.

I'll get to them.

Talk to you later, man.

God damn it.

Thanks for calling.

God damn it.

Brandon's offline.

You can call and take away.

You can take his place permanently for all I care.

405-396-6884.

I don't care.

Do whatever you want.

10 minutes.

Yeah, permanently for 10 minutes.

Here's a caller, and then we'll do a prank.

Don't worry, Milkman.

Thank you for calling Milkman Control Center.

How can I help you?

Hi, it's UK Godfather.

UK Godfather!

How you doing?

you dumb shit you

how you doing now

hey you crazy brother

what's up

yeah

UK Godfather

hey hello milkman

hey

do you wear a bra

do you ever wear a bra

have you ever worn one

no I don't wear a bra

just to try

come on

we've all put our mom's bra on once

a sports tank top would do

I put my mom's bra on a couple times

what would it look like

sad thing is my

my mantis didn't fit in my mom's bra

they were too big

please hold while we find one of our California bases

It was so embarrassing.

When my mom walked in on me and was like, you're so fat, they don't even fit anyway, Carlito.

She was like, I got it.

They got a whole ton with the bra on, sir.

Hello?

My name is Chelsea.

How can I help you?

Hey, Big Chelsea.

I'm calling ordering my girlfriend a bra.

Okay.

Are you wanting to place a new standard order?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, for my girlfriend's breasts, to cover them with a bra.

Yeah.

She says she needs to for her job.

Okay, may I place on just a brief hold?

Why?

I have to speak with my supervisor for just a second.

About what?

Is it me?

No, it's not you.

Well.

Just because I'm having a system.

Oh, is there a man that can tell me that doesn't know how to use the system?

No, but I need to speak with my supervisor because I'm having system issues with placing

Well, don't put me on hold.

Just leave me off hold and just mute the phone because I don't want the music to play.

Can you do that?

Yeah, I can do that for you.

Okay, thank you.

All right, good.

Can you call my place?

All right, UK Godfather.

How you been, UK Godfather?

How you doing?

Yeah, good.

I haven't called you for a few weeks.

My little chicken.

It's good to hear from you.

Yeah, you haven't called.

I hope I heard you got in big trouble.

I was worried about you.

Trouble?

Yeah, big trouble.

I didn't hear that.

Big trouble, big trouble.

I heard you got swatted.

No, I don't know what I'm talking about.

Don't listen to me.

While we wait on the bras,

I'm going to order a bed sheet for my wife machine.

And you should call Pete's in Bristol.

Crystal, I've sent you some numbers, Mike.

Did you send the taxi people again?

Thank you for calling Sheiks.

The next available representative will be with you shortly to help you on your way to the best school you'd like.

Jesus Christ, I'm reading the idea that Parkman sent for this.

That's disgusting, Milkman.

Jesus Christ.

What is wrong with you guys?

Milkman and Parkman coming up with these nasty-ass ideas for Prank sometimes.

That's something I don't like to talk about.

It's definitely their motto.

I'm going to help you that's related to our company, because if not, I'm going to have to end this call.

Well, I've been waiting.

I had to make an order.

You said you had to talk to your supervisor.

What's going on?

I am a supervisor.

Okay, so let's take my order.

Why am I talking to you anyway?

What would you like to order?

I need a bra for my girlfriend.

Okay, do you know what size you would like to order?

Okay, so here's the information she gave me.

All right, it's located on her upper ventral region.

of her torso and it serves as her mammary glands and they produce and secrete milk to feed our

infant hello yes i'm waiting to um get some information yeah okay so then i'm sorry i

thought you hung up on me so both uh i'm still here i mean i have these also but they're not as

big and they she told me that they develop from her embryological tissue and at puberty and that

estrogens and conjecture sorry did she go no you're still there hello ma'am hello okay i'm

I'm going to have to end this call because clearly this is not anything to do with our business.

Hey, wait a minute now.

This is a bra company, and this is what I'm saying.

Exactly, and I can also hear you calling other companies as well.

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

You're hearing things.

You're a liar.

You're a dumb woman.

Okay, thank you.

Have a great day.

Stupid.

Why is there a woman manager anywhere?

Get out of here.

Finally, she hung up.

God damn it.

Who's on the line?

Milkman, is that you?

No, that's our caller.

No, it's me.

UK Godfather.

Damn.

Damn, I kept thinking that she was hanging up, and she wasn't hanging up.

Everyone else hanging up.

Call the pizza company.

At the tone, please record your message.

When you've finished recording, you may hang up or...

I hear you, big guy.

Let's see, so you sent that on Facebook, is it?

Yeah, Pizza Delivery Bristol.

I sent it to you just now.

The Bristol Scale, you know what that is?

I got it here.

The Bristol Scale is how they rate your shit and your poo.

Yeah.

Yeah. And I didn't know the term slapper means like a loose woman. Is that correct?

I don't know that term.

You never heard like you call a woman a slapper? I heard that. That was a big thing in British.

That they called a woman a slapper. If she's a whore, I should have called Milkman first.

Yeah. Hi. I wanted to make an order. I'd like to make an order, please.

All right. One pizza, machine? One pizza?

Hey, I'm going to hang up. You're going to have to quit calling me on this number.

Yeah. All right.

You got to change the number.

Okay, all right.

I'm sorry.

Hello?

Yes, sir.

Okay.

I'm just telling you because this isn't happening back to the same pattern.

All right, bye.

I'll be right back on the other line, okay?

All right, bye.

Yeah, we want to order a pizza, please?

Oh, damn it.

Lost him.

Hang on, I'll call him back.

Don't worry, don't worry.

We'll call Milkman.

We'll get to the bottom of it.

I got to call Milkman first so the rain doesn't confuse the fucking stupid people in the UK, right?

Yeah, yeah.

So what did you do this week, man?

What did you eat?

You have a lot of good proteins?

Good protein options today?

day what have i done today i've been sleeping why why do you sleep so much when i mean holy

shit dude what time is it over there one in the morning sadly not with my partner but um

no just just lots of social media for my work okay all right yeah good good i guess work is

good right your um horse machine yeah you know keep holding it down and the horse machine ranch

man you know just a lot of chores i gotta do here we're we're coming up on harvest here in a couple

of months so we need about one more good rain to harvest this corn i think no this is milkman pizza

cut milkman you bitch hey motherfucker yeah i got you there you go all right stay here

stay here stay here stay here stay here all right good get me there no problem we're going back to

the uh and we got to take our break soon there big guy i'm sorry but we're gonna call you we're

gonna call uh uk godfather's number again the pizza delivery uk godfather you want to take it

away i mean you you like you like to yeah yeah i'll give it okay all right man do the funny

make a real fun real funny motherfucker it better be funny motherfucker i'll throw you out in the

hurricane hi what's the largest pizza you do hello sorry what's your largest pizza 14 inch 14 inches

how much is that 20 dollars 20 dollars what are you calling from crystal collection or delivery

Uh, collection, please.

Panic joke?

Yeah, collection.

Hello?

Hello, hiya.

Are you stupid or something?

Collection.

Hello?

Yeah, I wanna make an order for collection.

We're in Bristol.

Let's go.

Hello?

God damn it.

Hello?

.

Fucking spastic.

Hey, you spastic.

Hello?

You gonna take the order or not?

Thank you, bye.

Fuck.

Fuck you.

Gondu.

Danchot.

Hello.

You think they were Indian?

Or were they Pakis?

I think they were Pakis, as you people say.

They're Italian.

Italian?

Well, I know Pisa's Italian.

Why are you being like that?

Why do you say that?

Now you're really hurting my feelings now.

Chicken restaurant.

I'm sorry.

I'm in a mood right now.

I'm really angry at the world, and I'm really angry at a certain someone on this line right

now who's not UK Godfather.

I'm kidding.

UK Godfather, it's good to have you on.

Don't go anywhere.

I dropped the line again.

No, you didn't.

Have you spoken to, you know, UK Ted lately?

No, I saw him.

What was he saying?

He was saying something on Facebook, and I made a crude remark, and I don't think he

appreciated it, but I can't remember what it was.

He said something.

Yeah, he's out there.

Or if UK Ted's listening, hey, and Jin Stewart, what's with him?

Yeah, Jin Stewart.

I don't know that guy.

He told me, I gotta sleep.

I can't do the new show at the new time.

I gotta sleep.

You're calling your chicken restaurant.

Hello?

You'd still like to order a chicken?

Yeah, can we order chicken?

Yeah, can I order a chicken?

For collection and delivery.

Collection, please.

Okay, so how many pieces of chicken?

One.

Just one piece of chicken.

One piece of chicken and one chip?

Chips.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And how long does that take?

Sorry, how much?

It's a piece of chicken, three pounds.

And a cup of Coke?

Again?

And Coke.

Two cans of Coke.

Can I order 20 cans of Coke, please?

20. Yeah. 2-0 right? 2-0-0 yeah. That's fine no problem. We got max. Pepsi max. What's that? Drink. Maximum drink. Okay. So can you repeat the order to me again sorry. One piece of chicken with chips. And 20 max. Okay. Yeah that's good. And so one chicken, one piece of chicken and one piece of chip. Yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah.

And what's your address?

EY.

Can I ask a question?

Can you give me the phone, motherfucker, you?

Hello?

Listen.

Hello?

Yeah, do you have the shit in the toilet?

Whatever.

I gotta take a break, man.

I gotta go on break.

Playing no games.

Yeah, I gotta go on break, man.

Alright, so.

Okay.

You thank you.

Thank yourself for calling.

No worries.

Thank you for the numbers.

I will call V-Cars because I love V-Cars.

And David Lee.

Yeah, get them to drive to somewhere.

I can't give you an address, though.

Well, give me your address on Facebook.

I'll send them there, all right?

And then you take pictures.

Yeah.

You come out, you're like, you motherfuckers, you fucking Canadian motherfuckers.

You go out there, right?

And you yell at them and you scream.

Yeah, I'm not sending them to my house.

Well, I will.

I got your information here.

All right, they'll see you there soon.

We'll talk to you later, all right?

Bye.

Bye, Godfather Pete.

Godfather.

I got to take that break, Milkman.

Man, what the fuck is wrong with you people?

Seriously.

We got our shit, man.

The guy's got our shit, people.

Quit calling for a minute.

Yeah, motherfuckers.

Well, I'll do another call.

Yeah, I'll do another call, and then we'll take a break.

We'll come back.

We'll do more show.

Okay.

My prayers are off the line until after the break.

Yeah, don't call in that because the calling won't work.

You can't call shit now, motherfucker.

We're going to do one more call here.

Juan Minuto, por favor.

You doing the insurance company?

Dude, yeah.

Yeah, that's next.

here we go insurance company let's see if they answer don't piss in the pot man this got potential

okay i got it i got it i got it did you read the premise yes i did no i didn't i liked i don't

like to read them until i right about to do the okay all right okay i'm weird i'm a weird

homosexual i know you don't want to spoil it for calling allianz global

For your convenience, you may also go to www.alliantravelinsurance.com.

That's A-L-L-I-A-N-G-C

Travel Insurance

Press 3 for representative

Access your policy information

File a claim

Okay, great

I'll try that when we come back, man

Cause that shit's really pissing me off right now, Milkman

You goddammit

You're holding him now

Goddammit

You tried

When we come back

We're gonna order more bras

We're gonna maybe call Hawaii and scare the shit out of them

I say we start closing gas stations down.

We're going to call the United Airlines Ethics Hotline, Jobs and Guam.

We've got a hurricane, we've got a volcano.

Jobs and Guam, motherfucker.

We'll be right back.

Give me like 10 minutes.

Get out of here, motherfucker.

Shut up.

We're getting in the line.

Cash is in his prime.

We're coming out of the line.

Because they don't want nobody that's color out of their lives.

You're listening to Madhouse Live Live.

On the largest prank call station in the nation.

Prank call nation.

Who says shit like that and doesn't laugh?

I don't know, faggot.

It is your own.

This radio will be back right after this.

You know what, I hope that when you die, they put your GPS in your box and a trapdoor at the bottom.

So when you die, you open that trapdoor at the bottom, you check the GPS, and you go straight down to the hell.

Madhouse Radio is back.

You are bigger than a woman.

You are better than a woman.

We'll always be behind.

Do not let a woman ever, ever make you who you are.

you are.

Fucking drunk

fervor motherfucker.

Yeah, fuck your dick, man.

The plan was to knock me out the top of the game,

but I overstand. The truth is

all lame. I hope canes that

shoot balls are plain. Right in the fat

mouth, then I call my name. Nah, it's

too real. Nah, it's too real.

Whatever you feel, go ahead, you

swing. What's up? I'm

Carl Eater, and I'm the host of Madhouse Radio.

I am here with Milkman. Milkman,

holla.

thanks big guy thank you thank you i appreciate you being appreciative of my call everyone be

sure to head over to patreon.com forward slash madhouse or madhouse live.com slash donate for

a one-time donation we'd appreciate it keep the lights running here in the madhouse compound

pound much appreciated it's a subscription man mucho gracias yeah and that's the end of my

promotions until the end of the show at least madhouse live.com for all your listening tuning

options be tuned and call in the show now if you want we get about 45 to 50 minutes worth of show

left well maybe a little more than that just to make up for some lost time at the beginning

beginning so again uh as we've been giving out throughout the show the mouth line is open 405

39 mouth that's 405-396-6884 i like that 6884 because you know those are nice uh those are

you know even numbers and i'm really i got an ocd thing with that i really love even numbers two

Two, you got your four, six, eight.

Three, dude, I like that.

No, no, no, no.

Unless it's two sets of threes, you make a six.

Get out of here.

No, get out of here.

Nine.

No.

Three, six, and nine.

I bet you would like that, sir.

Back to the Coles we go.

I like sharing.

Heading over here to the list, we got, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,

Ooh, United Airlines Ethics Hotline.

Let's see how long this takes to get through.

Hopefully not too long.

We got a ton of voicemails.

We got to get to those before we go, hopefully.

There's a good premise there.

You ought to check that.

You need to check the website there about the story it's referring to.

I know.

Holy crap, we got a ton of voicemail.

Shit.

Let's at least get our thing.

You know, the thing where the person dies.

What's it called?

Obituary.

Obituary guy.

guy left an obituary earlier in the week uh if i can find it here in his big list of fucking

cabin crewmate just after man caught masturbating next to her yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah here listen

listen was found dead at the age of 72 oh shit really of a bangkok hotel room thursday june 3rd

of 2009 with a cord

wrapped around his neck and genitals

leading the Thai police

to suspect his death was not a suicide

but an accident resulting

from dangerous sex practice.

Did you ever hear...

Did you ever hear about that, David Carradine,

that he was murdered?

They say that...

When it happened.

When it happened, yeah. Remember?

Yeah, yeah, man.

Yeah, that's how old the show is.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Yes, sir.

Yeah, we did.

We kind of like was joking around about like KBK and stuff, you know?

It's kind of like...

Oh, no.

No.

Us?

No.

We wouldn't do that.

The fucking buzz is even worse now.

Carradine was best known for his role in the 1970s television drama Kung Fu and movies Kill Bill and Kill Bill 2.

Well, what about Kung Fu the Legend Continues?

Let's not forget about that.

Yeah, I used to watch that every Saturday, Sunday morning at 12 midnight after 1 o'clock,

2 o'clock in the morning after Saturday Night Live was done.

David Carradine was also known to have carried on an incestuous relationship with a very

close family member.

Huh?

One friend, David Winters, stated, I've just been told possibly his hands were tied in

either the front or the back and that there was something in his mouth, stuff in his mouth,

and that he is a rope that is used with the curtains to tie his neck and genitals together

damn dude so yeah i thought he just died of self-asphyxiation where he was jerking it and

died but now so man i totally forgot about that man yeah so do you think who was it the yakuza

was it the the illuminati he was going to air games and it went wrong that's the way it was

set up to look huh probably fake you're right probably fake probably fake motherfucker man

Man, rest in peace to David Carradine.

Was he Japanese? Chinese?

He looked American to me, but he sounded very Chinese.

He was part Chinese, I think.

He was part Chinese, half Chinese, I think.

So Bruce Lee was half Cantonese?

Is that right?

Like Hong Kong Chinese?

Is that correct?

That I don't know for sure.

I believe he was half Chinese in one form or another.

Yeah, that's disgusting, right?

To mix the blood like that, you know?

Like you?

That's so disgusting.

Man, hey, look, one of the most beautiful combinations, the Amish-African-American combination.

Yeah, yeah, that sounds great.

That sounds nice.

How do you get the result?

Yeah, as a result of a rape, apparently, probably.

Sorry, that's kind of fucked up.

Judge, the result of an Amish woman being raped in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

I don't know how it happened.

but all I know is that it was just really hot

and that's not the result.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

405-396-6884.

I'm going to hell.

That was a ghetto in Lancaster.

The ghetto in Lancaster.

All right.

Rumor I got James Brown blood in my family.

James Brown did it?

He came through town?

I got some of that blood in my family,

so that's a rumor.

Well, you catch it during Rumspringa.

Isn't that the thing where the Amish get to leave

for like a month

and figure out if they really want to do this.

And a lot of them get into heroin and drugs and shit

when they leave for that month.

Basically, you come off the farm

and you go head around the different corners of the city there.

And that's what the BK is.

I guess.

All right, Guam.

We're calling Guam.

My brother has 7-Eleven.

7-Eleven or the drug store.

You know, you might bring some cheese to us, you know.

I like how we're playing Fat Albert music in the background

How appropriate

Morgan I told you today

The development

Hi this is the arcade

Okay

Alright do you do a background check

If I come to eat there

A background check for eating here

Absolutely not

Do you need a background check

I'm rubbing my thighs as I'm saying this

This is a step up from repairing

parent broken vibrators and sibians are you guys okay with hitting like single moms hitting on

single moms and stuff there do you get a lot of like uh military wives one more time do you get

a lot of military members there any veterans uh veteran discounts or anything like that we do

every monday we get military discounts 10 off all purchases at the cashier station oh oh yeah

okay do your do your computer machines use tokens or quarters we use tokens okay how many coconuts

do you trade for a token coconut yeah because i don't know what kind of money you use in this

country what do you call them are they like uh coconuts or pineapples what's the conversion

oh okay yeah but it's not like really united states i know you guys have like your own

president here and your own money system education uh yeah obviously okay so

So that's

very nice.

That's very nice.

Yeah.

All right.

So my, uh, my neighbor here, he's American, he's from Texas.

And he was telling me like, he said it had to be careful for those people.

And then he, he put his hands on his temples and he pulled it back so that his eyes went

up, you know?

He said, huh?

Oh, I'm from Minnesota.

So you haven't ever left here?

No, no.

This is the furthest West I've ever been in my life.

Okay.

It makes a lot of sense.

So yeah.

Do you know what he meant by that?

You do it with me.

Put your hands on your temples, your palms, and then pull back.

And then look at what you look like.

And he said that those are bad.

He said those are dirty people, bad people.

And he said when you see them, you put your wallet in.

Huh?

I feel like we people on this U.S. territory, if you're doing that, then you can go ahead and look in the mirror.

Tell him to look in the mirror.

Well, no.

I mean, my eyes don't do that naturally.

Surely I actually have to pull it back like that.

Maybe you don't.

Is that why?

Oh, that's why you don't.

You're one of those people.

People, I think you need a justification and not be so ignorant.

Well, I have an MBA.

I have an MBA in accounting.

All right, cool.

An MBA in accounting.

Is that even a thing?

Y'all, you voted for Trump.

Yeah, I voted for Trump.

So are you trying to say that Trump is your president?

No, I retract that last statement.

Hot jazz in your mouth.

Mouth milkman, hot jazz in your mouth, buddy.

Yeah.

Hello, caller.

You're on the air, but we're doing a call, so, you know, be good.

You have echo.

Motherfucker, you.

Get out of here.

Son of a bitch.

Hello?

Yeah, hi.

Is this the arcade?

What arcade?

Uh, Chuck E.

Chuck E. Cheese.

No?

This isn't arcade?

This is the pizza?

What is this?

Okay, so, are you saying that Donald Trump is your president, too?

That's what I said.

I retracted.

because I knew that was going to be the reason.

Oh, new song.

Oh, shit.

Bad idea.

Yep, we're all right.

We got another job in Guam.

There was a little boy who lived in a...

This one's in a hotel, I think.

His name was El Sambo.

This song goes out to Dwight McClanahan,

McCranky Pants.

Dwight McCranky Pants.

Hey, Milkman, we got to start a fire, right?

That's what I'm saying.

We got to start a fire.

What's with me and the snorting tonight?

Have you heard me doing this?

I've been doing this.

I don't usually snore like that.

I'm just sitting there.

God damn, I sound like Davi. Davi cat. Davi snorts like that. Let's get a caller here. Caller, you're on the air.

You better not have an echo, motherfucker, you. Hello?

Just trying to call that ethics hotline back.

Hey, who's this?

Hello?

Oui?

Oui.

Oui, oui. Hey, attention.

Ah, hello.

Hello?

Hey, milkman. Hey, Carlito.

Hey, who's this? Identify yourself at once.

Huey.

Huey, big Huey. All right. I used to fly a Huey.

Huey down in Australia.

Oh, Huey, yeah, Huey, I'm through, I'm through, I'm through, I'm through, I used to fly, Huey, I flew your ass into Huey, that's stupid, I don't know what I'm talking about, we're calling Guam, you guys are closer to Guam than we are, how about that?

Hey, Huey, where's Dewey?

I left him in the crack house.

In the womb.

You don't have crack houses in Australia, get out of here.

Yeah, we got a...

I was from the movie Silent Running, I was from the movie Silent Running, yeah.

Hello? Do you need Polynesian dancers?

Hello?

Shit. Milkman and Huey

both talking all over the prank call.

What do you say there, Huey?

Yeah. All right.

What time is it over there where you are? Like 3 p.m.

or something? All right.

I am. I am.

3 a.m.? Get out.

No, 11.30.

11.30. Wow. Shouldn't you be at work

or something? Is it Friday? It's Friday.

Yeah, motherfucker.

All right. Here. Do this prank call. Hello?

Hey, I was kidding.

I was trying to get the caller from Australia to prank call you,

thinking that you were a person I was prank calling.

I was trying to be silly.

That was really stupid, wasn't it?

Yeah.

I didn't know what was going on.

I'm sorry.

Oh, it's okay.

I know you're slow.

It's all right.

You have an epilepsy.

It's okay.

Don't worry about it.

I can't hear whatever's happening off the line.

I'm sorry.

I know.

I was trying to play a prank on both of you,

because I'm the fucking GigglePrix.

Oh, that would have been cool, actually.

My ego's bigger than my ass.

Mira, mira, this is the ethics hotline

Oh, okay, did you read the story?

Yeah

Oh, this thing always sticks forever

Well, that was great

Ugh, God

I didn't have any number options, Milkman

I had to sit there and listen to it

Milkman, let me try it again

We're wasting time

Let's call some quick things, motherfucker.

We need quick, quick.

We're running out of time.

Quick, fast, fast, fast.

I waited too long.

Go back up the list.

It's kind of a problem we didn't finish.

All right.

Yeah, is it?

Yeah, listen.

Hi, Colleen.

What time is it?

It's time to buy a watch.

It's 9.30 p.m.

Eastern time.

Where am I?

I'm tight.

11.30 a.m. where you are, apparently.

Yes.

The Neighborhood Pet Co., where you can get complete care for your pet.

Yeah.

Local outreach and grooming, training, and vet care.

Hello.

Thank you for calling your PECO in Baratania.

This is Sean Hawking to help you.

Thank God you're open.

I'm staying at an Airbnb here in Honolulu.

Okay.

Okay, and so I went to get food over at the Safeway, I guess it is,

like a couple grocery stores, the Long's Drugs,

and they're completely out of what we need.

They don't have anything.

What's going on?

I guess there's a storm coming in or something?

Yeah.

It's like the biggest hurricane that we've ever seen.

Yeah, well, I just got off the plane today, and the next thing I know, like, everyone's panicking and there's no food.

So do you have canned food there?

Dog or cat?

Dog food.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm going to, how long can I survive off of that?

What are you talking about?

Well, I went to the grocery store and to the 7-Eleven and to the Long's Drugs, and they have, like, nothing in the canned food aisle.

Okay, so you have nothing better to do than to prank call a pet co?

Well, you guys have food.

You guys have dog food, right?

I have a dog.

He needs food.

Asshole.

So how long can you survive on it?

Well, I mean, if we need to dip into his supplies, I mean, if it's us or him, it's going to be us.

Fuck this dog, you know?

Yeah, mom.

You really have nothing better to do.

We need to eat.

We need to eat, man.

Listen, lady, survival is the fittest.

Yeah, I mean, if it's between me and the dog, I'll...

Do you actually have a question for me or no?

Yeah, all right.

All right, so then what's the best way to prepare the dog, then?

If we're going to just have to eat him, I guess, if he wants all of us.

Cock sucker.

Yeah, do we have to boil the dog first, probably.

All right, Australia, thank you very much for calling in.

No.

This has ended.

Thank you.

All right.

We've got to clear the line.

Thank you, my brother.

All right, see you later.

Thank you for calling.

Mate, bye.

Bye-bye.

I wonder if he ever gets rid of kids over there.

He probably gets typhoons, big-ass typhoons.

No, I don't think they get typhoons in the Southern Hemisphere.

The Southern Hemisphere doesn't get typhoons.

That guy wasn't very helpful.

I tell you, you can tell he doesn't care about pets and the disposition of the possible pets

that may be hungry.

In the ass.

Yep.

Let's call that 7-Eleven down the street here.

I thought there was a 7-Eleven here, Coño.

Where is it?

Come on, man.

Man, I know I saw a 7-Eleven here.

Here, we'll call the Texaco instead.

All right, everyone.

Hurricane.

The biggest hurricane in history, says that guy.

I heard it.

It wasn't even going to hit them.

It's going to miss them.

They're just going to get some rain.

Boo.

Some rain.

Good morning.

Yeah.

Yeah, remember I said I wanted to tape it to my leg or something?

I must have missed that one.

Shit.

That's when I lost the call.

It was pretty funny.

It was funny.

It was the best call of the night.

Shit.

It wasn't the best call of the night.

It was a shit call.

Come on, Texaco.

We're going to have to call from the call center here.

We're going to call.

We're going to try to get something we haven't done here in a while.

How does your bicycle seat smell?

All right, we're calling 7-Eleven to do a thing we haven't done in a while.

Yeah.

All right.

Let's see if we can get the heat.

Hot dogs with heat on the mouth.

Yeah.

Phil, is that a sound effect?

Oh, yeah, that's a sound effect.

I was going to say, I got tinnitus finally.

Tinnitus. I'll turn it off. Stupid.

I wanted a different one and I can't find it.

7-11, I'm going to help you.

Yeah, hi, I'm calling from the corporate office with Southland.

Okay. Hello.

Hey, good afternoon.

Hi, this is Ralph. I'm calling from the corporate office with Southland in Texas.

Okay, what's your current status there with the hurricane?

Yeah, do you have power? Is power functioning?

Yeah, everything is good.

okay all right um how are you on any essential supplies water anything we need to rush order

i think you have to call the office yeah because um uh we cannot decide on those matters oh no no

no we're just no we're just calling to take a quick survey to see what the situation is on

the island because we're trying to make a decision if we're going to have the all the stores closed

if it's bad no i yeah we're we're okay so far okay all right do you know where the breakers

are can you we need to do a breaker check please yes i know okay i need you to can you this is

this is a cordless phone that will reach the area where the breakers are please um hang on um

oh come on she's scared she's scared like a chicken like

thank you for calling madhouse radio my name is chicken how can i help you

stop being an asshole hey dwight mcclanahan right my cranky pants

she dropped yeah she got scared because i asked about the breaker she's like

He's like, oh, God.

Oh, he put blood on his hands.

Hi, how's Ken?

How's Ken, Dwight?

I saw him.

Hi.

I saw him the other day.

We went to the movies together.

Oh, yeah?

Hey, okay, Ken, tell Dwight I said hi, man.

Do you ever jerk off?

I'm going.

Do you ever jerk off, Ken?

No, no, but you know why it's funny?

Because I've ruined porn for Hillock.

And for me.

Yeah, I can't hear oh, fuck yeah anymore, yeah.

Sorry.

Sorry, let's use the keypad.

I used to say, oh, fuck yeah, all the time.

Or if you have any questions for the pharmacy, press 1.

Sorry, I can connect you to someone who can help.

To speak with the pharmacy, just press 1.

Or to speak with someone else in the store, press 2.

Thanks for calling.

Goodbye.

Aw, man.

God damn it.

She takes any responses, hang up.

That's how I do my job.

Are you hitting the responses, Milkman, or is it me?

I'm not hitting them.

Is that you?

I hit it.

I hit it twice.

because i thought well okay i'll try it all right it didn't work well i don't think it won't know

it's okay just it doesn't pick yours up but i presume it does and then i don't do it and then

it makes it go all right i won't do it again it's all right no not this song god gonna get flagged

on the youtube for playing this fucking song this piece of shit

It's a...

Good afternoon.

Thank you very much.

May I help you?

Hello?

Yes, hi.

This is Rex.

I'm calling from the corporate office in Pleasanton, California.

Uh-huh.

We're calling to check your status.

We have your location marked as a possible weather emergency area, and we wanted to check

the status there, please.

Okay, so let me talk to you to the managers.

One moment.

Okay.

Please, the manager on duty.

Duty.

What's your name?

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

We can't hear this.

Duh.

Shit.

Duh.

Fuck.

Damn fucking YouTube.

YouTube.

Fucking YouTube, man.

Fucking YouTube.

Screw you, YouTube.

We love YouTube.

What are you talking about?

Man, I haven't been paying attention to YouTube.

Let's see if anyone bought some Super Chats.

We're going to be on hold for a while, aren't we?

Son of a bitch.

We got to keep this moving, man.

I'm going to go on another line and see if you can do it again.

I guess.

Maybe.

You think?

Hey, beef.

Well, yeah.

What's up, big guy?

How you doing?

Was that from your last show?

I was asleep for the whole thing.

I'm sorry.

I was working on the computer and I got mad and I fell asleep.

It was a terrible night.

No, no, no.

I did run into, I was trying to call this person and she was like, she asked me, she

was, she goes, Rick, is that you?

And I'm like, yeah.

And she goes, it's mom.

And I'm like, oh, fuck.

Yeah, I'm Rick.

What's going on?

Like, how do these people not know what their children sound like?

right oh shit all right hey but yeah yeah i hear you good good listen i gotta give out a shout out

real quick on i gotta get better watching this on youtube we had a donation uh two hours ago i'm

sorry only ob uh uh only one ob chef original ob donated two dollars and sent a message get

someone to call joey guns later i'm gonna have to let joey guns sit for a few weeks because he

He just drops as soon as he hears me.

I figure if I give him some time, you know, maybe we'll be all right there.

All right.

So Bristom9 donated a pound.

What the fuck am I going to do with that?

Dirk Diggler said, thank you, though.

I'm sorry.

AussieJack, we already said he donated.

DirkDiggler678, I love that move.

He donated 99 cents.

Come on, man.

Give me that extra penny.

But thank you for a super chat.

No message.

You can leave a message if you want.

And also, Roy has donated $5 to the Super Chat.

He says, thank you so much for doing weekly shows again,

and it's a godsend for those of us who listen to podcasts all day.

You are the man.

You are the M-A-N.

Thank you very much to all our YouTube.

I know I was kind of mean there about some of them, but thank you.

I really appreciate it.

I love Pound Sterling.

I think it's the best sterling money in the world.

It's a great, strong currency, and that's why you guys never adopted the Euro, motherfucker.

Yeah, tell that Euro to go right up its ass, man.

And Dirk Diggler, $0.678, $0.99 is just as good as a dollar.

You keep that penny for yourself, you little bitchy.

It's fine.

All right, we got to do more pranks.

Dwight McClanahan.

Come back.

All right, so real quick here.

Let me go back to my list of numbers.

Make sure you don't miss any of these, Milkman.

and you said I had, what was it?

The bed sheets.

The sheets?

Yeah, okay.

There was another one.

That short one there.

Okay, we could try another bra, too.

That might be fun.

Dwight, you want to do a guest call?

I might want to jump in on either one.

That's a cheap one, maybe.

All right, there's a website called TrySheeks, S-H-E-E-X.com.

It's some kind of bed sheets, you know?

I don't know.

We could try to, hey, you want to flush it down the toilet, man?

Yeah, we can flush it down the toilet, yeah,

Yeah, because you're Dwight McClendon and Carlito, and we do that kind of thing.

We'll be on Dwight's show, and Dwight will be flushing him down a toilet,

and I'll be playing the sound effects, and we'll laugh and laugh.

Yeah, for some reason, the glass is being broken while we're just trying to flush sheets.

Lately, yeah, right?

You started breaking glass.

My name is Taya, and I'd like to help you get a better night's sleep.

I'll be assisting you with your orders for the day, and this call will be recorded.

Hello?

Can I have your promo code and your zip code?

Yes, my promo code is S as in Sam, P as in Paul, the number three, R as in Randy, M as in Mary.

Really?

Yeah.

Man.

All right, cool.

That's cool.

Don't worry about it.

She doesn't like sperm.

Yes, she does.

She just don't know it.

Well, I want to thank you for calling in to Order Chic's Performance Bedding.

My name is Debra, and I'm going to help you get a better night's sleep, just like they showed in that commercial.

So I'll be able to see with your order today, and we will record your call.

Is that all right with you?

That's fantastic.

Thank you.

Awesome.

So I'm glad you called in because we have an amazing promotion going on.

Did you by any chance hear the promotion code on the show that you watched?

Yeah.

Yeah, I did.

It's usually the word Sheiks and then some number after that.

Did you hear one?

Yeah.

The number after it is 69124.

Okay.

Let's see if that code is going to do this.

All right.

And so you saw the commercial.

You know that these are performance sheets.

They feel amazingly good on your skin, and they are designed to allow air to flow and circulate for a cool, dry, comfortable sleeping environment.

And each set that you buy has the bottom sheet that's fitted and has an ultra-thick elastic on it so that it will fit nice and tight, snug, no matter how thick your mattress is.

And you get a flat sheet and two pillowcases.

All right.

And we also ship them, and we ship them to you for free, so there's no extra charge there.

Shut up!

Were you calling in to get the price on a certain size?

What kind of bed were you thinking to buy these for?

Well, I have a king.

I have a king.

And these sheets are going to be for work purposes.

For work purposes?

Yes.

I'm not sure I know what that means, but they're going on a king or a California king, but not a split king, right?

No, no, no, regular king.

I'm not a homosexual.

I don't have a California king.

Okay, so a regular king bed.

So let me see.

So normally the price on a set of king-size sheets is $258.

But today with that special promotion that we were talking about, it's $149.25.

You can go ahead and charge me the $258.

Like I said, I'm going to write it off as a work expense.

Well, I can't charge you the $258.

I'm going to charge you $149.25 for a set of sheets.

Well, now this is starting to sound like a scam.

What?

They're on sale.

That's my point.

They are on sale.

Yeah, but I don't pay sale prices.

I pay full price.

I'm not a stupid ignorant.

I'm not cheap.

I'm not poor.

My name is Dirk Diggler, and I fucking make pornos, and I need these sheep at full price.

I'm sorry.

I know how to do karate, goddammit.

I could order you two sets if you want to spend more money.

I can get you a mattress pad.

No, no, no.

No, I don't want two sets.

I want one set at full price.

Okay, I can't do that because the computer's going to calculate it with the sale.

I can't do anything about that.

Have you ever seen one of my movies?

No.

I doubt it.

I don't know, but I doubt it.

I'm very popular.

My name is Dirk Diggler.

How are you?

Okay.

So, Dirk, I would love to send you a set of sheets.

I could send you more than one.

I could send you a pillow.

I could send you a mattress cover.

They all feel amazing.

They're really good.

I just can't.

Have you tried them yourself?

Yes.

Okay.

So, how do they perform?

So, they feel nice and they're cool when you're sleeping in them.

I don't know how they look for you.

Let me get a second pair, because I need to get a pair for Roller Girl.

What color would you like?

They come in.

You have four colors.

We have your normal bright white.

We have graphite, which is like a nice gray color, kind of a medium-density gray.

We have acrue, which is kind of a parchment color.

And we have navy, dark navy.

Shut up!

I'm going to go with dark navy, because I want the stains to show up so I can show

that i've actually been working uh so they don't try to you know lay me off okay and what credit

card would you like to use today dirk oh uh let's see i'm gonna use my master visa your master card

or your visa i thought i heard both mine's yeah mine's a hybrid i have a master visa interesting

so does the number start with a five or a four oh here it starts with a four all right so it's

It's actually issued by the Visa Company, but that's okay.

Can you read me the number?

Yeah, it is.

It's 4916.

Yeah, man.

347-806.

345.

I'm sorry.

The sounds in the background are louder than your voice.

I don't know whether we can turn it up or it's down.

I'm working.

Well, no, I'm working.

I can't turn it down.

Okay.

Okay, so the number I got as far as the 4947 and that I couldn't hear anymore.

What's the rest?

Yeah, 88069.

That works.

Expiration date?

Expiration?

Oh, it expires 11 of 2022.

And the magic three-digit code off the back?

649.

All right, so I'm good with the card.

And did you tell me the billing address is the same as the shipping address?

Oh, yeah.

All right, so first name is Dirk, D-I-R-K?

Yep.

And how do you spell your last name, sir?

It's stuck to the D.

D-I-G-G-L-E-R.

Oh, so big.

All right, and your billing zip code then is also 9-0-0-0-1.

And your billing address is...

It's going to be 4-3-5-1-1 is going to be my zip code.

Yeah.

4-3-5-1-1, okay.

And your billing address is?

is one 105 lowlands drive shut it up m o m o l a n d l o w l a n d and that's right woman i tell

you what you're listening to me l o l a n d drive in custer ohio lowland yep and are we shipping

these to ohio or are we shipping these to la no no these are going to illinois i don't know where

Where are you getting Ohio from?

Yeah.

I put in, maybe I got the zip code wrong.

I put in 43511.

Is that incorrect?

No, that's right.

43511 comes up as Custer, Ohio.

It's Bellet, Illinois.

I'm guessing we have the wrong zip code.

What's the name of the city?

Because she's stupid.

Excuse me.

If you'd like to speak to me that way, it's not necessary.

I was about to try to get up with you.

What is the name of the city again?

B-E-L-O-I-T

I know there's a Beloit, Wisconsin.

There's also a Beloit, Illinois.

Asshole.

Well, so that gave me a completely different zip code.

It gave me 61080. Is that correct?

Not by my recollection.

Okay, so at the moment

the important thing is that the billing

address needs to match the credit card

that you just gave me.

And I'm not sure that we have the correct

Please record your message.

When you've finished recording, you may hang up or press 105 Lowland Drive in Custer, Ohio.

Are you an ignorant?

How long have you lived in this country?

I think we're finished with this call.

You've been a beginning.

I'm going to terminate this call.

You can speak with someone else.

You've been incredibly rude, and I don't know what to say.

Hopefully it's a man.

Have a great day.

Hopefully it's a man.

I mean, she just wouldn't get mad until I finally said whatever.

You can call her stupid.

Yeah, she didn't acknowledge the porn in the background.

I was trying to have you on set

making the fuck, you know, making fucking

the girls and boys and shit.

I'm

sorry if that may if that's too you know risque

for you dwight mclean christian pranks hey hey you don't talk to me like that later i'm gonna

be jerking off in a pickup truck you're gonna get a walmart they have free pickup over there walmart

well a lot of man watch yeah i've even called walmart's asking for free pickup yeah look man

hey where's my pickup what happened man you didn't miss much you you dropped at the 15 minute and

And then Dwight McClanahan just ordered stuff for 50 minutes, apparently.

That's all it was.

You've been missing us.

That's all I could tell.

Yeah, she wouldn't hang up.

We were playing sex sounds, and Dwight was jerking off.

Oh.

She wouldn't hang up.

You had a super trooper.

You missed it.

You missed all the, I mean, you could have had a nice wank there.

Oh, shit.

All right.

Yeah, Dwight.

How about a bra, Dwight?

You want a bra where you can do the last prank of the night,

and then I've got to play voicemails and get out of here.

I guess the phone lines is closed.

Hello?

Well, he hung up.

Why did he hang up?

How rude of him.

I was trying to offer him the last call.

You're the last caller of the night.

Don't be an asshole.

All right.

Thank you, asshole.

Thanks for that.

Thanks for nothing, caller.

No more calls.

Last call.

Last call here.

Thanks for calling.

Don't be an asshole.

Hi.

I'm sorry I hung up on you, Carlito.

Oh, who's this?

Hi.

Oh, you hung up on me.

Oh, it's okay.

You're not an asshole.

I'm just kidding, man.

Calling.

Yeah, who's calling?

Text.

Hi there.

Thanks for calling 3rd Love.

Please hold while we find one of our California-based thrift sales to assist you.

If you're calling about a prior order, please have your order number available.

Talk, talk, talk or Mike's on the line.

No, it's not talk, it's not talk or Mike.

It's not talk.

I love fucking with you sometimes.

Fell for that.

Hey man, I'm just trying to do a call, you know, the one last prank.

Frank, you want to say anything while we're on hold?

You got a nice background music there.

Get your chub on.

What's up?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I just want to tell me, burro.

Where is your burro?

Yeah.

Don't tell me burro.

All right.

Burro.

Well, I'm muy mal.

Oh, yeah?

Why?

What did you do?

You feed him onions?

Is he gassy?

A gassy burro?

A little bit of garlic.

Yeah.

Fucking burros.

I don't respect burros.

Fuck that shit, man.

I'm a horse guy myself.

You know what I mean?

Exactly what you mean.

Yeah.

You're all about that caballo life.

Caballo.

life i'm because i'm a caballero hello thank you for calling third love hi my name is juan

my name is juan caballero and i need to buy a bra for my son he's on the line here's gonna tell you

what he needs because i i don't know we don't have a relationship like that go ahead sir yeah

there hi i have some pretty big titties okay and i need a uh i need a bra yeah they told him he got

he's 15 and he just got a job at the burger king but they told him that he has to wear a bra

My name's Christina.

I'm the supervisor here at Third Love.

Oh, hey, sexy.

We're not going to be able to continue assisting you.

Okay, honey baby.

So please let us know.

God damn it, woman.

I tell you what.

You listening to me?

Hi.

Asshole.

God damn asshole, you stupid bitch.

God damn it.

All right.

Hey, man.

I'm sorry I got to let you go.

I got to wrap the show up, man.

But I'm glad you got in.

All right.

God bless you.

All right, buddy.

Hey, call me next week.

All right.

Don't be a stranger machine.

Yeah.

And you got to be on a call.

Yeah.

all right everyone no more calls because we're not going to take it we're not gonna take it

anymore as they like to say the youth we gotta we gotta dip into some voicemail that's why we

can't take any more calls don't even bother now off the line you could be kdk calling from the

dead and i won't even put you on there that's how your fans shit i just said you could be kdk

calling from the dead and i won't put you on that's fucked up because i would put him on if

if it's calling from the dead.

He would be worth putting on

if he called him now.

Of course.

He's just KDK.

You know,

the original

King of Prank Call.

Yeah.

All right.

Rest in peace, KDK.

He's laughing in heaven right now.

Well, maybe not in heaven.

He is, dude.

KDK.

You don't go to heaven

if you do that,

what he did, Milkman.

Come on.

You don't go to heaven.

I'm sorry to say that,

but it's true, right?

You don't go to heaven.

That's what the Bible machine said.

I don't know

whether he made it to heaven or not, dude.

i mean there's a chance he didn't but you know it's not up to us right it's not up to us we don't

know what jesus decided we don't know what he had to start i'd say probably even on our evening of

all his troubled life he probably had a good spot in there i think he probably didn't love

yeah i know yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah all right here let's play some voicemail i said

all right god damn are you listening to me boy you listening to me woman hey uh hey

But every time I see an Audi, I think of that one call.

I'm just about to become a horse member.

I've been listening to you for years now.

Yeah.

And I just think about it randomly all the time.

I'm just laughing at myself now thinking about you saying that car is too close.

I could just recite the whole thing in my head.

You got to stop at your girlfriend, and you started kicking the shit out of their car.

He said, you said you drive, I think, a Toyota, and he said, you know, everyone knows the call already.

It's not one of the best ever, but I hope that you do the same premise this Sting Timber if you're participating.

And just the whole idea of getting pissed off at your girlfriend and kicking the shit out of someone's car is just the best.

I love it.

I think about it all the time.

He had the first time call for me and just had to say that.

And I jerk off when I hear it now.

what was his name did he give his name his name was pervert i don't know no i don't know thank

you the guy he said he didn't say his name but he loves that call that's try to leave your name if

you would you don't have to you leave a code name a code name is cool you can be like i'm i'm uh dj

snoop whoa or something mystery caller snoop doggie yo yeah i remember that call you used to

call about the toyota prius yeah well that's that prank call is called audi guy audi guy and you

You can find that over at madhouselive.com as well as a whole bunch of prank calling machines.

Here's another one.

Hey, Carlito, this is Chupacabra.

I've got a buddy here named Hank that he says he's got a few complaints for you.

People have been calling him.

Uh-oh.

Hey there, Carlito.

Hey.

How are you doing?

Oh, shit.

It stopped playing.

God damn it.

Hey, Carlito, this is Chupacabra.

How are you doing there, buddy?

Hey, buddy.

I'll tell you what.

Oh.

I got this guy named Carlito who keeps calling me up saying,

and, hey there, Big Debbie, you got a labia, honey, baby?

I'm over here off of Horseshoe Range Road.

And then some other old boy named Milkman, I'm not even sure what that means,

but he just calls up and he's like, and then, you know,

he's got this other guy named Brad, and he's like,

hi, this is Brad from the corporate office.

Oh, fuck Brad.

Well, that's a long message, man, but thank you for leaving that.

Fuck it, he got you down with your coffin, though, man.

That'll bring him to perspective.

Did he give a name?

Callers, please give a name.

That was Chupacabra.

Chupacabra.

All right.

Hi, this is Aussie Jack.

I'm just calling to say that Milkman is the greatest.

His voice is awesome, and anyone that doesn't think so is disrespectful.

Have a great show.

Bye.

Don't be disrespectful.

Thank you, Aussie Jack.

Oh, yeah, we had two other donations, I believe.

Fuel Films donated $2 on YouTube, and Shyboy, B-O-I,

eyes so you know he's a young little twink donated five dollars damn we made like 18

fucking dollars today man yeah wow yeah man yeah thanks guys we love you we love you

i gotta start i gotta in the improvements for the studio i gotta start breaking off

some for milkman because milkman helps like he plays the music and hits the buttons when

you're not supposed to and he gets upset when he drops every 15 minutes you make a lot of

of mistakes yeah and i have to give up a lot of pay so eventually i get about like a dollar 25

after i get paid for what i actually did right yeah all right let's listen to these

what the fuck is that i don't know that was from britain i said all right what's this let's see

here cool all right yeah thank you for that all right what else we got here let's see

more of that i think they're just playing uh you know who prank calls because they got me

So now I will not play any more from that person.

Thank you.

That's Milkman.

That was you trying to call back.

Yep, that's you, Milkman.

God damn.

I heard you cussing and shitting.

God.

God damn it, you can't treat me like this, Carlito.

I'm not like one of these fucking mongrels around here.

This is Dwight, god damn it.

And I'll show you the end of my mop.

Show you the end of my mop.

I don't want to see

the end of Dwight's mop

you know

when he calls that

hey Carlito

he got in eventually

don't dare stop me

boro

hey

hey that's him calling

yeah that was him

before he got through

yo yo

big cross

yo

big Ethan

sent you a Facebook message

like

hell of a shit going on today

didn't get a chance

to send you numbers

aww

so

it's okay

my bad

I'm a piece of shit

yep

and we'll make it up to you

does it give the time

and date on these people

yeah

Yeah, 29 minutes ago.

Go tits.

Go tits, yeah.

Milkman's all over.

Milkman, are you called Milkman because you like the breasts on the women?

Is that why?

Are you a breast man?

Oh, of course.

But no, actually, it got started because, like, I was always the guy, whenever we went

to the restaurant, I always ordered milk.

Oh, you fag.

You fag.

What?

Really?

Yeah.

So you put them together, and yeah, for both reasons.

Okay, fuck it!

Shit, I was on the machine enema.

I was on the machine enema.

Cool.

Sorry, Machine Atom.

Thanks for calling in.

Who else have we got?

Grandpa called in this week.

I caught on you, sir.

Oh, that's Zax with his pretty hair.

Oh, he just tried to call.

Oh, man.

All right, and then this is the last one.

This is KDK calling from the day.

I didn't get to go to heaven.

Sorry.

Oh, KDK, you didn't go to heaven.

There I am.

you sir win

call the show

thank you

nice

that was pretty good

actually

oh man

that was a good guy

it didn't go to heaven

oh

poor guy

somebody did that

on the fly too

I love

I love our audience

yeah

I love our friends

yeah you snuck that one

in there

the last one

yeah good

good timing

that was the last one

if they actually get

our

if they get our

genre in comedy

we gotta switch out

dude I'm telling you

well KDK

case surprisingly upbeat in hell i guess unless maybe he's just in purgatory i guess that's where

you go you know like that movie with uh who's the guy that killed himself richard nixon no uh

robin robin giffords robin who's the guy that killed himself robin williams yeah remember that

stupid movie he made about his wife killed herself and he died and he was in a van gogh painting the

whole time you know i'm talking about some stupid movie where he went to heaven or not it wasn't

in heaven it was i might not have saw that uh it was a lot of really interesting far out stuff

it came on 99 or something it was terrible terrible terrible the terrible movie no man

we got to get out of here bro it's time it's 1007 we're past time to get out of here yes that's

right for overtime match yeah well my golly what a heck of a show kids i'm telling you what man

and Irmano.

We had a lot of fun tonight.

I want to thank everybody for all their help.

Especially our part-time numbers hit man.

All this hill high.

Brother the Mark Man, man, a great friend of the show.

Thank you so much, brother.

Whoever else sent in numbers, Ethan, I don't know if your numbers made it.

Godfather brought the numbers.

Thank you so much.

I want to thank the other people that brought the numbers, but I can't think.

I want to thank everybody that called in tonight.

We had Godfather, Brandon, Bronx, we had Kenner, Ken himself, that's right, I mean, he even

did a call, and the other people I can't remember, I apologize.

Mikey G from Bronx, that's right, yeah, yeah, everyone there, everyone that donated.

We had a good show on tonight, man, we had a good half dozen calls, man, that was really

a lot of fun.

I really enjoyed that part, man, because I actually get to hear the people, and you get

I like to hear the joy and the humor in the voice, and it's really reflected in the comments that you make.

And of all the calls I hear on average, it's always the podcast.

And that's really refreshing, and that's what we like to hear right here.

Our people out there are, please, let the mad out.

We do it every week for you right here in your ear balls.

The most interactive show you can find around the internet.

You've got 3,000 dozen ways to get ahold of us, to listen to us, and carry us around in your pocket.

Call us on the daggone phone, whatever.

ever. We just tell you to bring a friend

or just bring an enemy

because they're always welcome right here in the

madhouse. The Milkman

and the fearless leader of the

Generalissimo and himself are the madhouse.

Everybody needs to thank you

buddy for bringing me along, man.

Yeah. Sure, man.

Everything you do out there. Sure, man.

Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, man. Milkman.

Zax is going to be doing a

Twitch stream here at the end of our

show. He's over at Zax Intel on

On Twitch, be sure to check out Big Zach's.

In our chat room.

I don't know the password.

The password?

The chat room.

Discord.gg forward slash pranks.

Thank you.

Yes, there you go.

Apologize.

No, it's fine.

You're learning.

We're working towards you joining us in the 21st century here at some point.

Yeah.

Major, tonight is Check It In.

We're confirming the movies What Dreams May Come with Robin Williams and Cuba Gooden Jr.

That came out, I believe, in 99 or 98.

I believe so.

so i believe so you know what cuba gooden jr is a very overrated actor he has a very stupid voice

oh shit we lost the milkman crap crap crap we'll just leave him off i'll call him on the cell phone

we'll just leave him off because the shit it's time to go man it's time to go everyone madhouse

live.com check out the links to the podcast shellcast and uh be sure to catch this episode

on youtube i'll have the prank calls of the week that's our weekly prank calls of the week that's

weekly. The best pranks for

tonight's show will be on Prank Calls of the Week over

at YouTube. Madhouse Radio on YouTube.

And that's

about it. I've done enough. I've done enough.

I've done enough damage for tonight. Thanks to everyone who

tuned in and donated. And all

our Patreon subscribers, I

thank you all and I respect you all.

I'm not going to go as far as saying I love you.

I love you. I love you.

Because, come on. Y'all have a good weekend.

Palabra de Dios.

Calls (32, 1 h 43 min of 2 h 45 min)

Transcript

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