Spicy Hot Lamby Nipple Chops

I'm in the streets listening to Madhouse Live

I hope my speech can compete with that bad mouth style

That we get from Carlito, that's my big amigo

So just kick back to listen to this cat call people

When the show goes live, I be like, damn, this shit's bitchin'

Stop whatever I'm doing to tune in and listen

You can catch me in the back of his home at Horse Machine Ranch Road

I'm bustin' mad fat flows for assholes and banchos

My spit crazy, shout out to Big Amy, that's nice, honey baby

We kissin' pussy, so ladies, such a labor, yeah, it's crazy

Have the stuff that my bruh might say to ya

Face it, cause it's the number one prank cast

Stay back if you can't handle all the straight laughs

That we hand to your dome

And if you want, call the number

You can listen to this show on the go

Big up to the man in the madhouse

You show love, just stick your motherfuckin' hands up

Some come close, but they can't get it right

Let the king do his thing, it's time for Madhouse Live

Big up to the man in the madhouse

You show love, just stick your motherfuckin' hands up

Some come close but they can't get it right

Let the king do his thing, it's time for Madhouse Live

Let's go

Great show already, Mixler won't broadcast

And I'm dropping stuff and disconnecting cables

I don't have Homer to blame tonight

Just my own fat ass

A little peach fuzz, been a while since I played this one

Might help out

Alright, take a look over here

See if I can get Mixler to work yet

It looks like Mixler is working now

Alright, good

We're on Mixler now, excellent

Excellent. I hope it sticks to working. It's been a piece of shit. Now I have it playing.

I just have way too much on my desk. Way too much shit on my desk.

Hope you're all having a good weekend so far.

Starting, I'm getting dragged to a gay wedding tomorrow. A gay wedding.

I'm sorry, the person you are trying to reach has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet.

Please, try your call again later. Goodbye.

Gay wedding tomorrow, boy.

Watch him kiss and all that stuff at the wedding.

And I ask if anyone has anything to say or hold their peace.

And I stand up and say, marriage is between a man and a woman.

I'm going to be real ignorant.

I'm going to work suspenders just to say that.

Marriage is between a man and a woman.

Until I get kicked out.

So I don't have to stay there.

Because I can embarrass my wife.

We got to start quoting Pastor Martin Semper.

I've done some research.

I've done some research about what these homosexuals do in their house.

Good morning, everyone.

Good morning everyone, my name is Pastor Dr. Martin Semper, I'm here in the capacity as

the chairman of the National Task Force Against Homosexuality in Uganda.

We are making legislation to make sure that sodomy and homosexuality never sees the light

of legality in this land of the pearl of Africa they can time to do a little

research to know what homosexuals do in the privacy of their bedroom one of the

thing they do is called a no leaking where they a man's anus is he leaked

like this by the other person like ice cream and then what happens even poo poo

comes out the other poo poo is out and then they eat the poo poo the other one

they do is they have a sex practice called fisting where they insert their hand into the other man's

hand and it goes all the into the ns all the way and it is so painful they have to take drugs but

they enjoy it now if we have any children please step out this is a parental guidance moment

that child can be moved out so i've done research this is what they do number one you can see a man

here having sucked the other person's rectum and the other person is poo-pooing and this one is

eating the poop all over the place tell me when you have a law against homosexuality do you say

except eating i mean look at this guy sincerely bishop

Bishop, we do not want this sickness.

This is sick and it's therefore deviant.

We do not want it.

Now, they start off by touching each other's genitals and smelling each other.

Then this one smears the poop all over the other person's face.

As if that is not enough, he puts the hand deeper.

As Africans, we want to ask Barack Obama to explain to us,

Is this what he wants to bring to Africa as a human right to eat the poo-poo?

Yeah, that'll be me at that wedding tomorrow

Yeah, sorry YouTube. You didn't get to hear that

Just look up pastor Martin Semper. That's with two s's

SSEMPA

You've probably heard it before if you're cool like me we've played that before on the show several years ago

go jim stewart i thought it was hilarious imagine if i set up another gay wedding and said that

same shit you know i bring a barack obama this is what barack obama wants in his wedding

they start off by kissing each other and smelling each other touching each other's genitals and

smelling each other i'll take chocolate ice cream to the wedding all right where do my numbers let's

go i apologize folks i'll be i'll be right here though where else am i gonna go right uh it's

It's called Nordstrom Rack.

Super Foam Brothers cracking me up today, calling a store that smells really good in the mall, as they called it.

Thanks for calling the Nordstrom Rack in the area, Bill.

So, what's your style?

Bath and body.

Whatever it is, buy more of this or less at the Rack.

Thank you for calling Nordstrom Rack in the area, Bill.

This is Paula.

How may I try to call you?

I'm calling about clothes for fat people.

Okay.

Let me transfer you to the apparel department.

One moment.

Okay.

Nordstrom Rack in the area.

This is the Murray speaking.

How can I help you?

I'm calling about clothes for fat people.

I'm sorry what happened do you have clothes for fat people uh plus size for men fat people

for men or for women for a woman it's for a fat woman my mother-in-law it's for my mother-in-law

she's fat well we do have plus size options for women yes well I mean she's like really fat really

fucking fat you know um I don't but like we go up to for women plus size we go up to I believe

3XL.

How many pounds do you think that is?

I'm not sure. How many pieces?

How many pieces is the item?

Pounds, baby, pounds. How many pounds?

I don't know. We don't

base our clothes off of pounds.

Either you can fit it or you really

can't fit it.

You're more than welcome to come in and see

what we have. It's something that you're looking

for, but off the top of my head...

She had a panic attack because someone ate

the can of frosting that she had bought and she ripped her clothes and now she needs something

for the wedding tomorrow we're going to a homosexual wedding tomorrow we'd be able to do

be much help if i don't know what size you're looking for fat it's like size f i think did

you say how long give you a second even there yeah tick tock motherfucker and by buying the

married couple a drill for making glory holes yeah thank you for holding this is tanisha i may help

you hi yes i looking for clothing for fat people we still put our size here all right but i mean

like really fat disgusting fat you know oh well i can't um like actually i can't i wouldn't be

able to tell you that i mean you can ask me for a size and i can tell you a size like when you see

you want to throw right so other than that i wouldn't be able to help you if you have a size

i can look up a size for you but that would be it yeah well how big is your mammy okay have a great

Eh, that was okay.

In case of a fast pickup, we ask you to let us know that you're not a voicemail system,

so you need to press 1 to take this call.

Oh, hey.

Hello, caller, you're on the air.

Hello, Carlitos.

Hey, Dad, how are you?

Hey, ¿cómo andas?

What's up, Dad, how you been?

I've been very well, very well. How are you, boy?

All right, motherfucker, you?

Happy Father's Day. It's coming up. I'm not getting you nothing.

Hijo de tu pinche de puta madre, maricón, cabrón de mierda.

I'm calling GNC if you're ready is that D the B hey which being are you do I know

you no I think I'm a second time hey how you doing do you have pills for skin

skin problems hello hello yes yes do you have supplements for skin problems um yes so we have

some with resveratrol and hydrochloric acid are you looking for a powder or a pill i need to

bleach the skin because this i'm i my boyfriend he's a mexican he's a beaner and he's got like

really dark features you know like aztec features and i'm trying to see if we can bleach his skin

like the dominican oh yeah we don't have any um thing pretty much to bleach the skin we just have

more so like stuff to help brighten the skin like i could just recommend like a toner that's pretty

much or vitamin e is really good to like lighten those dark spots on your face oh yeah god they're

disgusting you know oh man is that vitamin ejaculation those are like well you heard of

like they have some injection like they don't have any injections they just have pretty much

it's like the powder or the pill like so what about calcium and i've heard people putting calcium

on their face for rejuvenation purposes we have calcium but we don't have any of the powder for

him we don't have any pill and chew for him yeah we can crush him up i like right we can crush it

up true yeah true all right we definitely have a lot of types different types of calcium if you

were to do that i would probably look it up first to make sure that i was saying cow semen cow semen

oh yeah uh you have to suffer the drug test do you have to suffer the drug test um we just have

like cleansers and stuff don't really have anything so what what do i do with it um they

just have a lot of different ones they have no problem in having do i put it in the p no it's

not that type you pretty it's just a cleanser to just like to just help clean out any impurities

They're like anything that they have. Oh, you guys don't have the fake pee. Oh, no

What about you do you have clean pee? Oh me. Yeah. Yeah, you do drugs

Some you know, as long as you're not pregnant. We don't want it to come up that you're that we're pregnant. Yeah

This is for Brad already fucked up one is for our friend Brad. He's a drug addict. He's got a piss test

He's on parole probation rather whatever

So bad.

But I'll bring in a cup and you can pee in it for us.

You're trying to steal cow semen.

Oh, my goodness.

I'll break you off some bread.

See, I wish I could get some bread, but I can't do that.

I'm on the clock.

I'm so sorry.

$20 a gallon.

Seriously, come on.

The most I can suggest is pretty much just looking online.

I can't really tell you guys.

You could pee for us.

If you have clean pee, it's hard to find someone with clean pee, you know.

Is it really that hard to find someone with clean pee?

I was, honestly, I would suggest not using it by your pee.

I would just use the fake pee like you guys did.

Alright.

Well, I mean, like, you sound cute.

I mean, you sound pretty cute.

I mean, like, what do you do for fun?

You guys are so funny.

You're a cute little girl.

You sound like you have sexy pee.

I know.

It probably sparkles.

My pee probably sparkles if you guys are funny.

But, thank you.

Alright.

And I hope I answered all of you guys' questions.

You did.

Kinda, I guess.

Yeah.

I'm sorry. Do you like Bath and Body Works?

Yeah, okay, you sound like you sound like a warm vanilla kind of girl

Do you like sweet pea?

Peach Bellini

Do you douche with coconut juice?

Do you douche with it? No

Okay.

Inappropriate.

Okay.

All right, we're going to go.

We're going to look for some pee, all right?

We're going to look for some pee.

Yeah, we're on a urine hunt right now.

Do you have any coworkers with you right now that are hot like you?

Oh, you even know how I look.

I do.

I was in there yesterday.

Yeah.

You didn't see me?

That was the guy that was asking for...

Huh?

How do you know I was here yesterday?

Because you sound the exact same.

I talked to you for a little bit.

You don't remember?

Is your hair real?

You did use your name.

I saw my name.

my name is carlos carlos i asked you out on a date and you were like super not down

you like rubbed my arm and i like got really really turned on a little bit but like whatever

i gotta close you guys i'm sorry it was fun talking to you guys though all right get the

hell out of here see you yeah get the fuck out of here then dude get the fuck out all right bye

bye look she's not gonna pee for us just saying i know this bitch is not gonna urinate dog we're

gonna leave we need clean pee we need clean urine in our face yeah hi uh hi we have a drug test

coming up do you have clean pee excuse me do you have clean pee i'm sorry my friend is off to the

horrible start do you do methamphetamine oh my bad she did not like that who's this same place

the store in the mall that smells good by the body yeah hi thank you for calling back

That's the Body Works Space Street.

How can I help you?

Is this the store in the mall that smells good?

May I ask your calling?

Carlos?

Yes.

This is the store that smells good?

Yes.

We have all the lotions and stuff?

Yes, we do.

Okay, now your antibiotic, it has alcohol in it, right?

Our antibiotic?

Yeah.

Does it have alcohol in it?

Yeah.

Does it have alcohol in it?

We don't have antibiotics.

You have hand sanitizer.

The hand sanitizer?

Yes.

Do they have alcohol in it?

Um, let me have our manager check.

Because I want to drink them.

Can we get drunk off the hand sanitizer?

Can you actually get drunk off hand sanitizer?

Yeah, you know, they were doing that in prisons

and they took all the hand sanitizer out of the kitchens

because people were drinking it.

You have to drink.

The prisoners were taking the pouches of hand sanitizer

out of the kitchens and drinking them.

How much do you have to drink to get, like, a buzz?

Uh, it makes you really sick.

You get a buzz, but you don't get drunk.

Well, it's got to be pretty strong, though.

So, like, let me see, I got one here.

How many, it is...

How many pumps?

Yeah, 99.99% germs.

I'm trying to see how much alcohol, I don't know what percentage alcohol it is, but I

imagine you...

Does it have serving sizes?

Imagine you got to drink quite a bit.

I imagine, you got to be real desperate, you know, but if you're fucking drinking Pruno

and stuff, ugh.

I'd rather drink Pruno than freaking sanitizer, though.

That yeasty Pruno.

Oh, that's not even a toss-up.

I don't know, I...

fermented fruit yeah that's nasty like old rotten fruit i would i think i'd be doing the purell i

don't know i don't know if i do the sanitizer i don't know that i did the pruno you know yeah i

think you're coming right i think that i i'm kind of thinking that that pruno is going to taste kind

of fruity when in reality it's not going to taste fruity at all i imagine it just smells like

spoiled like i've smelled like spoiled apple juice before and it's like a yeasty kind of

Like a chemically?

Not even, I don't know

Like a bad beer, kind of

Okay, yeah, I get what you're saying

I get what you're saying

Are we still on hold here for this bitch?

No, no, we're alright

She hung up, yeah

Like bad pussy is what it smells like

Oh, damn, I hate bad pussy

Another bath and potty

Fermented pussy

Oh, yeasty

You got a white front to back, ladies

And guys, too, you don't want your balls to smell

Thank you for calling Bath and Body Works.

Please wait while I transfer your call.

Thank you for calling Bath and Body Works.

Isis speaking.

How may I help you?

This is Isis?

Yes.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Take it easy, all right?

Yeah, you get that all the time.

Yeah, I know, right?

Don't you hate that they came up with that name?

They took away that name for you, you know?

They take it away from me because I was born before then.

Do you have trouble when you fly?

If you do, I don't know if you're cool.

Like if you get to fly.

do you have any trouble at tsa i have not a single ounce of trouble really they're not like

hmm thank you for extra screening and you know they put a couple fingers in you with a glove

oh my goodness that's how they do it you know yeah hey listen um your hand sanitizer we're

wondering does it have alcohol in it because we're trying to get drunk and we're on probation

so we're not supposed to drink so we were trying to get drunk without drinking alcohol you know

well i guess it wouldn't matter if we drink your hand sanitizer to get drunk will we still fail a

breathalyzer test uh are you yeah um i don't know i've got a p i don't recommend it you could

probably die it's a big one it's called peach bellini it says uh-huh yeah and we want we want

to drink it you never gonna take shots of it i don't think you should i don't recommend it's

friday night we're trying to get drunk but we're not allowed to buy beer and stuff you know we're

We're only 20 years old.

Okay.

We go to Berkeley.

All right.

I gotta go.

Well, you gotta go.

Come on, honey.

Good luck.

Don't drink hand sanitizer, please.

Too late.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Bye.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God.

I kept you on hold.

I was wondering why you weren't jumping in.

The music was so loud.

I was like, what's going on?

That was my fault.

Fuck.

How does your labia sound?

It's all right.

Nice and flappy.

Oh.

I'll call my dad.

Nice and flappers?

Call him a nice big pair of flappers.

Wear it like a helmet.

Thank you for calling Bath and Body Works.

This is Kevin.

How may I help you?

Well, yeah.

This is Jonathan, and I was wondering, who do I speak to if I put on some of you guys'

lotions and I began getting a little crusty?

Some areas?

Private areas?

I think it would be customer service.

Let me put you on a brief hold, okay?

Okay.

okay thank you so much are these like all in the same mall area are these like all in the

same vicinity of each other are you just blasting them out they're all in san francisco right now

they're in san francisco we're calling right by the musconi center these are some tech san

francisco girls it's going to center that's where the the uh the macintosh was first unveiled by

steve jobs in 1984. we can call ross old really is man so the marshalls it's like this and

disgusting this especially the gene section it's like all over the place yeah it's a place where

you get dragons on the back of your jeans yeah dragons in the back at ross you know what i'm

talking about yeah i know what you mean called them a while ago and uh i don't know if you guys

remember you guys called me i said my name was bailo and you guys called me gay sorry i was like

i was like hey my name is bailo and you guys are like gabriel you're gay

that's messed up i'm sorry no it was funny and then um yeah when you call in you gotta tell me

who you are i'm just gonna go with something weird or i have no idea really bad i know yeah

all right no i've never that was the first time i called i've seen every episode of carlos

episode of carlos every episode of madhouse and i watch brad's a lot too yeah i've heard all of

brad's in my sleep i know that much yeah me too yeah exactly i had sex with him in a few dreams

because yeah masturbatory i thanks for holding so the number that you need to call is 1-800

um actually i tried calling you 1-800 number it's like it's just a weird story like i was putting on

the lotion one of you guys lotions that you guys took it off it was like a strawberry lotion

and like I put on a lot on my hand and then like um I had like extra so I was

like what am I gonna do I just taking a shower and I put it on my private region

my penis and my my balls you know and I started getting really bad rashes and

that's the only number I have that's the only number I have tried calling poison

control but they said that I need to call the manufacturers I called you guys

i don't know what strawberry lotion it was you know i mean have you ever had this problem

did you put the lotion on your penis in your balls no i can give you the phone don't put it

on the balls i know sir i do not should i go to the hospital for my ball my ball sir i can't

advise on that i have my friend helping him apply some thinking that it would be fine

You know what that kind of I don't know why it reminds me I had a girlfriend and we were gifted a

Like a you know intimacy package kind of thing

gift gift basket thing and in there was an edible like a sexual type one yeah and there was a there

was a container of edible strawberry edible panties no not the pants and i was like hell

yeah and i opened it up and i squeaked i filled it in my mouth like it was like easy cheese like

it was like like like it was like whipped cream or something and i was like yeah it was like oh

no it's not like it's lickable but you don't want to eat it like candy

she's like god you're so fucking stupid

like it's like it was edible it wasn't like good

with this lubricant just going down your face i was all excited i was like hell yeah

I was thinking about the panties also

like how fucking good

these guys are like master chefs

they're probably just

the panties are just barely edible

yeah when I've seen them

they look like they're made out of Twizzlers

that's what I imagined

they taste like

they look just like a pair of Twizzlers

that are in the shape of normal panties

oh lord

it's so hot I'm going to eat your underwear

edible panties then edible lube

All right, I can call Ross. I got a whole place a whole bunch of places Barney's in New York, San Francisco

Diesel that watches I think that's fossil. You know, is it that's fossil? Yeah, that's fossil

No

The car accident shit

It's hard to find these sometimes, you know when you need it

Yeah, I'm trying to find you guys. I'm running out of fuel.

We're so low!

Huh?

We're here on 800 at Market.

Alright, well, I'm coming down Market, but I don't see any gas pumps anywhere.

I need diesel.

Carlos, the light is on. Hurry!

Alright, we got the company, man.

Where do I find you guys?

Where on Market are you?

Coinstar. Yeah, on 800 at Market, but it's Coinstar.

Coinstar?

No, we're at Coinstar.

Okay, yeah, but this is diesel, though, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, I told I told the Google assistant to take me to diesel and how much you guys charge a gallon

You don't go get it here leader. Do you have a better leader? This is America. You have it by the leader

Yes, yeah, we just got in a car accident trying to find your stupid place

Yeah, the guy just said turn left here he said here here here here and I left and I got into an accident

i need your insurance information you made me get in an accident you guys have allstate man we need

two years of diesel stat are you guys calling the right diesel because this is a quote a clothing

brand well we needed diesel fuel and then the iphone said that this was diesel yeah this is

diesel but we're in diesel uh clothing store there's two different yeah is there a man we

can talk to because you don't understand diesel is a fuel honey it makes the car go no i no i

I know what diesel fuel is.

Do you know what fuel is?

Do you know how it goes?

The car thinks it's yummy.

The car goes, mmm, it drinks the fuel, and it goes.

That's how your boyfriend takes you out on dates.

Oh, thank you.

I'm a lesbian, though.

Oh, that's how your girlfriend licks your labia.

Yeah, that's why you guys are retarded.

Oh, my God, you guys are so retarded.

Have a good day.

Bye.

Tuna.

All right.

Let's have it.

you know what what you know which which which which call i think will be the funniest call

in history that you've done is the freaking elevator one the elevator one which one in

particular do you do you know my favorite one there was one in hawaii that was really funny

where she's like oh no no yeah that was funny was that the one where you're like

Like, ah, the top opens.

I'm up on the top now.

There was no one who was scrambling security.

The lady was scrambling security.

Another one that I like is the spice in the wires.

Do not spice any wires, the guys tell me.

Do not spice any wires.

That's funny.

Do not spice any wires.

All right.

We lost Dom the Bomb.

He hang up.

Call ended.

Is the 15-minute thing again?

There's a thing where after 15 minutes, it'll disconnect people for some reason.

and i think it's starting to do it again sorry dom try to call back in 405-396-684 is the number

they're calling that hello hey carlito how's it going it's p falcon hey p falcon how you doing p

p no t with it as in teddy oh okay well that's not so funny i don't have anything for that all

right how you doing buddy i'm doing pretty well how are you pretty good pretty good thanks for

for asking good yeah and no problem hey i've been wanting to ask where that sound bite comes from

where uh the guy says asshole in that really funny way asshole oh yeah yeah yeah i could tell

you yeah asshole that's from a movie called yeah it's from a movie called tunnel vision from

the early 80s oh okay it's kind of hard okay yeah uh chevy peace was in that movie

movies uh a bunch of people were in that movie tunnel vision let's see jimmy johns is closed

yeah fuck those people asshole they got good bread though yeah um what about that other sound

sound bite of the guy saying banjo like that oh banjo uh that's uh a jim jim stewart prank call

yeah that was yeah the guy was calling him banjo that's where that's from

Yep.

Yeah, I'd love to do a prank with you.

Well, we got someone to pick up.

Let's see.

Men's Show Tokyo.

Small cafe with ramen noodles.

All right, ramen.

Who are we trying to call?

Japanese restaurant.

I feel like I might know some Japanese bad words.

I think the worst is shine, I think.

And manko means pussy, I think.

I know.

Sekusu is sex.

Sekusu.

Sekusu means?

Sex.

Oh.

Sekusu.

Nice.

I learned today that the German company that owns Keurig and Krispy Kreme,

they were into some Nazi shenanigans back in the day.

Oh.

Forced labor and such back in the 40s.

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

7-6-0-9-1-5-0-2-3-3 is not available.

The article said a lot of these companies, like German companies, when they start getting big and go international,

they end up having to come to terms and get historical research done and become clean and be transparent about what went down in the 30s and 40s.

That's crazy.

the craziest part like the the heiress uh to the company the the family that's that's inherited

the the company the the matriarch lady she was her dad was jewish so she's jewish her dad was

killed by the nazis and um she ended up falling in love with the nazi the crazy story i read it

on my ipad using the apple news app the new and improved apple news app 638 i don't know is it

over in hawaii uh i think they're what i think they're a five hour difference it's like 6 p.m

it's a 6 15 right now maybe yeah they may answer should yeah but those in guam they're

gonna help you i thought you weren't gonna answer what's this guam attitude where you don't want to

answer the phone after a long time i'm noticing we're busy sir so oh yeah right you're busy

okay i need help uh with my wife's phone uh let me transfer you to service did you

yeah we want to crack the phone password because i i think she's having an affair

with uh with the army the sergeant on the army base who's this my name is captain cross okay

Okay, let me try to find you the service.

All right, you burnt pineapple.

What's the plan for this one?

It could be your brother or something, I don't know.

Can I go by service?

Can I help you?

Yeah, I'm trying to get into my wife's cell phone

because I think she's cheating on me with someone on the base.

Okay.

Do you understand the severity of this shit?

All right.

So I want to hack into her phone.

Do you have the tools to do that?

What kind of phone is that?

It's an iPhone 5S.

Yeah, actually, you might be able to get into it.

Okay, and we can get all the pictures and all the text messages?

Yeah, uh, do you know her password or do you want us to bypass that as well?

We need to bypass, I don't know what that is.

The PIN code?

No, I don't know what it is.

She doesn't let me know.

Like, I, like, she's sitting there, I know she's texting and then she starts laughing,

like, hee hee hee hee, and I said, what's so funny, let me see, and she's like, no,

no, no, and she pulls the phone away from me real fast, you know?

Yeah, okay, let me, okay, one second, let me, let me give you two a tech that actually,

uh, deals with this kind of thing.

Well, hurry up, god damn you.

It's that our check is ready because at 30 we're out of money.

I'm not sure where to jump in on this.

I don't know, you could be my teenage son.

Yeah, I might do that.

I could be your, like, speaker bandit leader or something.

How you doing there, boss?

Doing alright.

We're looking for someone to hack into my wife's, uh, iPhone.

Yeah, uh, we don't really do that.

Well, the guy I was talking to before said he could do it to a 5S.

He's all ready to do it. What's your problem?

Maybe you can

Maybe you're stupid

I don't know

Yeah this is

This is his lawyer

It's actually okay

For you guys to do that

Legally

See

This is his wife

Is there anything else

I can help you with

He

He legally has the

He legally has the right

Okay so I can't do that

Is there anything else

I can help you with

Yeah

You could not be a monkey

Yeah tell me how to

Hack the phone

Just tell me and I'll do it

Okay well

Have a good one

Come on whatever it costs

Monkey

Shit

You know

When I drop stuff I drop it I dropped a cup of juice and it got on top of my

camera

USB shit, so the cameras are offline helping them fucking fried the webcam

So if you're watching on YouTube, you can't show me you they can hear the pranks, but you can't see me

I'm trying to fix it. I don't know what yeah

Yeah, I was like frozen on your face like yeah, I just know

I noticed that, yeah, and it happened right when I looked down when the shit fell.

Damn!

Yeah.

Sorry, YouTube.

At least you can hear on there, but you won't be able to see.

I don't know what the point is, and you might as well just be over at the website listening

over on Mixler.

Oh, boy.

There's always something here.

All right, P-Wing?

No, T-Falcon.

That's all right.

T-Falcon.

All right, buddy.

T-Falcon, yeah.

See you later.

Is that like Peregrine Falcon?

Yeah, see ya.

No, T like Teddy.

What?

Because my name's Tyler.

My name's Tyler.

So T-thousand.

You know what I'm saying?

Is that what you go by, like on PS Network or whatever?

Is that your...

Nah, just my name.

Just what I go by when I call Roy and stuff, you know?

Oh.

All right, Big T.

Bad.

Bad car.

All right, buddy.

All right, you should call some...

You should call some kanakas.

Here's the answer.

All right, Hawaii.

Yeah, sure.

You got it.

Yeah.

See you, buddy.

All right.

Bye.

See ya.

Bye.

I farted.

Goddamn fucking microphone.

Why do I keep saying that?

Damn cameras.

Oh, man.

I just got all excited.

I thought I found a box of Cheez-Its.

Unopened.

It's open.

It's empty.

I was so excited for that.

I was like, hell yeah, Cheez-Its.

All right.

Well, I will continue to broadcast on YouTube without video of me.

Sorry.

We'll get over it.

Let me stop bringing it up.

Let's just move on.

Work with what we got.

So these are Parkman numbers I'm calling now.

These are in the Guam.

Ivy Educational Services.

Before that, a caller.

Hello, caller, you're on the air.

Hey, Logan.

What's up?

What's up, man?

I missed you so much.

It's all right.

We're here.

I'm here.

Everything's great.

Don't worry.

You know, Carlos, you have people on YouTube that are sending money to Super Chat.

Can you see them?

Yeah, I can.

I usually get, by the end of the show, I usually give a shout out to all of them.

Oh, okay.

Sounds like, is he missing these people or what?

I sent you one last episode when I was on, and I don't think I waited until the end of the show.

Yeah, I usually try right before break I do a check, and at the end of the show I do a check,

and I'll give out the message that you leave.

All right, for sure.

Oh, okay, one of the cameras is working now.

It's right now.

The main camera is now.

All right, hanging that up.

All right, so shout out to Xander Fett.

Xander Fett hooking up a nice donation.

Thank you.

brian also the super chat says give horsey cat a pin on the head for me well you won't be able

to see it unfortunately because the fucking waters bring it here i can bring it in now

nice pet there's there's the horsey cat getting nice on the shitty camera uh trump tard with a

super chat thank you xander fett with another uh donation thank you seboyum donated said hey

Hey, silly ass, call restaurants and order spicy, hot, lamby nipple chops and minty pickled sour sauce.

Okay, you got it.

You paid, I will play.

Amber Corwin with a couple of super chats also.

Thank you, Big Amber.

Yeah, thank you to all my supporters, all my Patreons, all my donators.

Eric, call, are you happy?

Shit, caller, I said, I got you back now.

You missed nothing.

All right.

No, it's real.

We gotta call and ask for some lamby nippy chops.

Lamby nippy chops, something, something.

Let me find a restaurant.

That's gonna have to be a Chinese restaurant.

Is that Chinese? Lamby nipple chops?

What do you think that is?

I thought it was Greek a little bit.

Lamb chops? Yeah, I guess so.

Is it minty pickled sour sauce?

Yeah, I think Korean.

When you talk about pickled, they like to pickle their sauces.

Is all that stuff with YouTube good now?

Didn't you have a lot of your stuff deleted from YouTube?

Yeah, then I got I got suspended for six months on there. I couldn't broadcast live or anything. Yeah

But you could still broadcast like on

Mixler and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, it was just YouTube and then I said I just was like fuck it

I'm gonna do it on I was just on Facebook live. Oh, it was happening on there

But then you know, it really it ticked me off because it's a good revenue stream for me with YouTube

I actually get quite a bit of I know help through there

So it kind of put me back and I can see how people get upset when they get demonetized on YouTube

Some people really depend on that like creators and stuff, you know influencers as I said, were you helpless like when it happened?

Well, yeah, basically it was like it was it was like here you can appeal you can only appeal once

We won't tell you why it happened

Basically, they're just give you a vague idea why it happened

and then that was it was like good and like it's scary for people to have like their whole

livelihood like they're paying for their house their cars their kids and it's literally you can

appeal one time you can do this and it's like you're literally left in limbo that's and then

they want that crazy persian chick that shot up people at the youtube headquarters she went crazy

because of it not saying that she should have done what she did but still yeah just saying dude i

I mean, they need to communicate better.

Like, you need to be able to talk to a real person.

Well, then they came out, and it might have been because of that shooting thing.

They came out and said, we're going to be more transparent about when people bring out new guidelines.

We'll give you a warning first.

And those rules, I believe they started kicking in this month, or they're going to soon.

There are new rules about being more informative about what should happen.

This warfare a lot of people come out to is this Korean restaurant. Yeah, I'd like to make an order

One kimchi fried rice

Okay, one spicy hot lamby nipple chops and minty pickled sour sauce one spicy hot lamby

nipple chops and minty pickled sour sauce

Can you not fucking hear me? Oh, man trying to make fucking order. Yeah

Okay, what's what one spicy hot lamby nipple chops and minty pickled sour sauce?

I think you got the wrong number.

This is Korean restaurant.

That's what I'm looking for.

No!

Kimchi fried rice.

You like kimchi fried rice and then?

Spicy hot lamby nipple chops and minty pickled sours.

We don't have that one.

Are you a fucking idiot, sir?

Hello?

Yes.

Why are you being ignorant?

No, what are you talking about?

You said you like kimchi fried rice, right?

Yeah.

What's your wife's name?

Who's calling?

Shishu.

Excuse me?

Shishu.

Yeah, what about it?

Shishu shishu happy people wait hold on hold on. Thank you. He was about to tell us his wife's name

I love her

Do you love your wife what what the fuck you talk about does your wife do you love your wife does your wife happy?

Does your wife have pubic hair in a private parts

all right thank you to alex for your donation and ryan jardina ryan big ryan with a very generous

super chat thank you very much sir you could have made a request or a message shout out

yeah ryan with a 50 bomb damn ryan oh ryan went to coin star today wow yep and yep ryan's getting

I'm getting some labia tonight

Fuck yeah

Hell yeah, Rowan

Labia juice

Alright, more Koreans

I feel like the last guy got really nervous when we asked about his wife

Like she had

We need our fucking labia sauce with sours

Nipply

Whatever the fuck that was

You're really taking this seriously

I'm starving

I don't know what the fucking joke was dude

I'll keep them on the line while I dial in

Maybe we can get a twofer

Korean food?

Yes

Alright, can I get an order please?

One kimchi fried rice?

Okay, and then and then after a spicy hot lamby nipple chops and minty pickled sour sauce

Hi, are you for the whole?

Hey, we heard you fucking laughing back there. Yeah, well, it's so funny. What was so funny?

There was a bitch laughing in the back we fucking heard her we want our nipply sauce right now

And we're trying to order from another restaurant because we were so tired of you watch. This is her

She hung up work where we want a spicy hot lamby nipple chops and minty pickled sour sauce

Shut up you have kimchi

Hey when I eat kimchi, what's your wife's name, you know what kimchi smells like it does it smells like your wife's name

Yeah, why are you getting scared your wife told us to call you she's worried she thinks you're out with another man

Does she have hair in her private pussy area?

Does she?

What?

Go get your number, I'll call the police, okay?

You don't call shit, motherfucker.

Oh, no, no, no, no, please, please, please, no, no, no.

You call shit, motherfucker, you shit.

Don't call.

You motherfucker.

Lang Soo.

Don't call me, okay?

No, you.

You shut up.

Lang Soo told us to call you.

You sit down when you pee.

What are you guys talking about, huh?

When you pee, you sit down.

You sit on the toilet and pee.

Keep, keep me mean.

Hey, hey, hey, you want to talk to me?

Calm down here, okay?

No, we want to talk to your wife, not you.

No, you calm down, you calm down.

We talked to wifey

Which one that was I don't know where he came from I don't know if I called the previous place again

They all get so scared when you ask about their wives dude Korean men are doing something shady

Oh, I'm sure they are look at them. Yeah, look at them. They don't even fucking they're importing panda bears illegally

is this Korean?

Where's the panda?

Korean restaurant?

Yes.

Okay, do you have panda bear?

Huh?

Do you have panda bear?

I'm sorry?

Panda bear. Do you have panda bear?

Just a moment. Just a moment.

Stupid.

What the fuck, dude?

Do you have panda bear?

The animal.

Do you have a panda bear?

Panda bear here?

Yeah, do you have a panda bear there?

What does it mean, panda bear?

You know, it's a bear from Asia.

No.

Black, white panda, cute panda bear, you know, TV, on your TV.

No, we don't have a panda bear here.

Do you have kimchi fried rice?

Yeah, yeah, we have.

How long for me to take a shit after I eat the kimchi fried rice?

Sorry?

Sorry, how long for me to take a shit eat eat people talking about to hear

Hello everyone crash everyone's gone

Come to me. That's alone in me. Duh. Yeah, how long does it take to take a shit after I eat the food?

Oh, how many people? Just one person. Four person? Yeah, after I eat the food, how long until I have to shit in the toilet?

What's the better meaning? I don't know. Do you know what is shit? Oh, no.

This is all you can eat. What? What do you mean?

You know how, you know you go to the bathroom after you eat the food? Okay, one moment, please.

You can join the show if you'd like for a prank or three by dialing 405-396-6884.

Available anywhere within the sound of my voice.

Hello caller, thanks for calling. Yay!

I'm calling about the TV.

Oh no, the hate crime.

What? No, the TV.

Yeah, that's what he says. It's a hate crime that I keep calling.

yeah what's face the dave king thinks i'm creating hate crimes by constantly mentioning the tv and

i'm not talking about transvestite i'm talking about television yeah that's what i told him

i thought he understood that look oh yeah he came on youtube today and he was yelling so i said shut

up asshole because i was trying to watch it at work and he's he just yelled fuck like in a playing

all like at work you know really loud and people are looking at me so i put a message in there

it's a shut up asshole and he got all crazy about it yeah i think he's done with us i'm gonna miss

him like you i like seriously i don't know he was our own personal conspiracy theorist guy

i don't know yeah yeah yeah we had our own personal alex jones and now he hates us all

and he's defriending he did a live stream a couple an hour or two ago of him defriending

all of the PLA people.

Oh, shit.

Did he save that to his Facebook?

Can I play that later?

I wonder.

I want to get...

Oh, I don't know.

Was it better when he showed his dick

to everybody on Facebook?

What the hell?

Brad's call just dropped out of nowhere.

David King did it.

I didn't hang up on you, Brad.

I don't know what happened, man.

Let's call Burger King

because I had something to happen, man.

All right.

At Burger King...

Dude, since I've been in high school,

I've always...

If I'm going to be in a car

Or if I'm driving and I'm gonna get Burger King drive-thru

Listen ever since like I was in high school since the 90s if I'm gonna be in a car

You know driving and I get a whopper through the drive-thru

I've never had a problem ever with you guys cutting the sandwich in half and I asked for it at the drive-thru today and

They the they told me that they were not allowed to do that. Why when is when is that like earlier?

yeah she i said can i get it cut in half she goes absolutely you can then she came back said no

actually sir i'm sorry i'm just being told that we're not allowed to do that and i said why not

why you can't cut in half you guys always cut it in half for me so that it doesn't get all over the

car you know stupid oh when did you go drive through like earlier like uh yeah it was it was

about what time sir it was a kanaka that said it huh it was a kanaka that said it kanaka yeah but

But this is like, wasn't it in this location or what?

Yeah, you're right by the Dew Drop Inn, right?

Where Charlie Tsai works?

You're by the Dew Drop Inn, right?

Drop Inn what?

The Dew Drop Inn restaurant.

It's like next door.

No, not the one.

Tanya.

Yes, Dew Drop Inn is next to you guys.

Why are you so confused?

Are you sure?

Are you talking about this store?

Yes, the fucking new.

You're on 1056 South Baratania.

Yes, yes, yes.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah, and they said, no, you can't have it cut in half.

Why?

Why would Berkey not have any knives?

Why would you not be allowed to use a knife?

I don't understand.

No, we do cut it.

I never heard, like, did you come here around 1 o'clock like that?

Yeah.

About what time did you come here?

About 1 o'clock like that, yeah.

Ah, I wasn't here yet that time.

How come?

I don't know.

And I had my pants raw, and I didn't take my pants off, you know?

Well, why would you?

well if i took my pants if i took my pants off in my car i'd understand why they said they can't

help me you know uh could you just talk about like what happened to your order again so like

i said let me get a bacon king okay the bacon king meal and then and then they they uh told

you that they cannot catch your sandwich enough and i said i wanted a surge zero with no ice and

this is sure no problem and i said can you cut it in half and she said yes of course we can and

And then she said, no, I just found out we can't do it.

And I don't understand because it makes a mess.

I always get it cut in half.

That's been always, like, one of the big things I always tell people about Burger King.

It's have it your way.

You know, you guys always help out.

You know, you guys always cut it in half for me.

Yes, yeah.

And why not cut it in half?

Why?

How stupid are you people?

Oh, I don't know.

I was in here earlier.

They might have heard that.

Well, she, she have her clothes on?

Huh?

Does she have all her clothes on?

oh shit i don't know if you're like kind of kind of trying to no no maybe she was in the bathroom

with her you know clothes off you know oh shit yeah do you fart do you ever fart when you pee

yeah seriously man i went to the burger king and i've always gotten them to cut it in half and it's

cool because what they do is they wrap the they wrap your whopper or your burger like they normally

do then they cut it in half then they wrap it again so you end up with two individually like

little wrapped half a burger and it's like little diapers for your burger halves and it's much

easier to eat because whoppers are notoriously sloppy especially in a car you get that mayo

all over the place and she told me we don't want to do that like how are you not allowed to cut

she's like i can give you plastic knives i can give you a plastic knife like no no i'm not gonna

sit here in my car and do that myself it's gonna make a bigger mess and i just ate it like that

but i honestly didn't understand why would they say you're not unless you like maybe something

where like if you're under 18 you can't use knives or something that's the only thing i could figure

but then again i'm pretty sure someone there would have been able to do it anyway someone there

has to use a knife you gotta have to be able to use a knife to cut lettuce and tomato and shit

right why would they say something like that i was so upset but i got my receipt and i'm gonna call

You know the line for the survey and I give very bad review

I'm gonna complain about it and get my friend. I get a free whopper for that. I can't wait

No, I didn't ask him to cut the crust off. How do you cut the crust off of a whopper?

Think about what you're saying for a second. The whole thing has crust like it's a prison fucking kitchen where they can't have knives

I don't know man. I don't know the answers all this stuff. I'm the one asking

Why did they say this to me that they can't cut a fucking sandwich in half a Burger King?

Why what's going on with this world?

what is this man fucking millennials i just don't understand anyway it's break time we're

gonna come back at about another hour show check it out hope you're all enjoying so far again

apologies to the youtubers you can't see the main camera only one of them is working i spilled

my drink all over the usb cables and it messed up the camera feed only one is working right now

from what i understand the one that's on right now the overhead camera the shitty one the 1997 camera

all right when we come back we'll be taking more calls got more parkman numbers we'll call hawaii

a little bit more we'll get to the bottom of everything we'll get to this and that we're

kicking off the weekend here at madhouse studios we're going to a homosexual wedding tomorrow yeah

All right, we'll be right back in a little bit.

Thank you.

Listening to House Blood and the largest nation in the nation.

Frank's called Nation.

At House Radio, we'll be back right after this.

I'm back.

You know, seriously, the Dave King thing, I'm not saying the TV thing that I say to mess with them.

It means television, not the transvestite.

He's just grasping at straws.

Although he does look like a transvestite, kind of.

but that's not what i mean it's because he's all conspiracy theory this and that and you know don't

let the government control you and shit and then i just know one day i was watching his feed

he's like i just got a new tv he was super excited about the tv to use his retro pie on the tv and

this and that and it's like that's that's the problem right there you know you're not supposed

supposed to be all into the the tool that the government uses to control you for all you talk

so much for that that's where it came from so i just kept he's always like i need money for this

and that and i was always just say the tv because i was kind of as a suggested one well you got a

nice tv don't you instead of turning off turn off the tv is what he needs to do and sell it to get

money to get back to canada no fucking that's all i'm getting at it has nothing homophobic nothing

nothing anti-trans about it at all it's just a stupid shit that i say ask any of the pcm people

the host i i say the weirdest shit in the middle of the day if you're in the hijinks chat hijinks

dot fun for slash pranks is that what it is if you're in the hijinks discord chat you'll see

during the day i'll just post a random fucking quote that comes from either an audiobook that

i'm listening to or a podcast or or something and i'll say something really random and weird

that's where i came from that's all it was it was me and lysol mcfly just saying the tv the tv

all the time to him i was just pointing out the hypocrisy of the guy who talks about government

controlling people and all this stuff and then he's got it's nice tv you know that's it i i've

I've always liked Dave King.

Honestly, the only reason I said, fuck you, shut up, asshole, on your Facebook live video comment today

was because when I opened my fucking mobile app to go watch you,

Facebook starts auto-playing stuff really loud on my cell phone.

It starts playing it, and it's you yelling the F word at the top of your lungs

because you're having weird tantrums.

Rest in peace, Bushwick Bill.

before i face red bush

bushwick bill rest in peace

ordinary nigger yeah

no idea what i'm talking about

if you're on youtube

remember how dope this video

was the first time i saw it

watching mtv jam uh yo mtv

raps i remember

and here when bushwick bill's punching

the concrete and like the paramedics

come and put him on the gurney

and his hands are all fucked up

they're all like swollen up it's like

Like, oh, damn.

It was like, god damn.

That boy went crazy.

I remember my friend Tommy was like, I like Jamaican rappers.

They're awesome.

I was like, you mean reggae guys?

Reggae Rastas or whatever?

There's a name for them.

Reggae Heads.

Not Reggae Heads.

Reefer Smokers.

Ragamuffins is what I said.

You mean Ragamuffins?

Ragamuffins.

Mr. Sexy Pants, rest in peace, David King's TV.

Yeah.

A member of the iconic Houston-based rap trio The Ghetto Boys,

who was born in Kingston, Jamaica with dwarfism,

died June 9, 2019 at the age of 52 at 3 feet 8 inches tall

after a long-time battle with pancreatic cancer.

Richard Stephen Shaw, or Bushwick Bill,

was featured on The Ghetto Boys' hit songs Mind-Playing Tricks on Me

and Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta.

He also released multiple solo albums.

yep there you go thank you obituary man aka mr puller thank you sir all right you can call in

the show i'm about to wrap that up let's do a few more pranks gtfo 30 minutes or less 405-396-6884

if you'd like to join the carlito show machine afternoon how can i help you hey what's up my

hey can you hear me okay i can okay i'm in the bathroom of our store yeah i was okay i was really

hungry i just took this stuff off the shelf i'm making a really mean sandwich back here a tuna

sandwich i grabbed a package of tuna you know and okay some mayonnaise and some bread uh do you have

the pre-cut onions here if we have pre-cut onions in the store yeah because i want to make a really

a good sandwich i'm gonna eat it here in the bathroom you're gonna eat it in the bathroom

yeah i don't have money huh i don't have money i'm hungry um i'm obese and i need to eat a lot

of food we do not have pre-cut onions sir okay i could just go to the produce island grab them but

how do i cut it up do you have a knife i can use in the meat department maybe um please i'm

hold on please please i'm so hungry i'm dying 7-eleven second avenue christine speaking how

may i help you hi christina is this the second avenue location in honaruru yes sir okay i'm

calling from the corporate office with southland corporate office in dallas texas you wanna try to

call the main office honolulu hawaii 7-eleven no i need no i need to speak to someone at this store

okay so do you understand okay okay did you get the instructions about the recall of the diet coke

not that i know okay do you have any two liters of diet coke two liters diet coke yeah let me check

okay and bring one back with you and while you're at it also get a package of bentos

mint flavored mint flavored mentos okay let me write it down hold on yeah okay hello sir yes

is it a two liter diet coke recall for a product yeah and then what what kind of mentos the mint

the blue one mint yeah okay we need to do a field test uh to make sure to see if you're involved if

if you have the the the uranium shavings inside the diet coke i need you to uh you we i need you

to put three mentos inside the diet coke bottle into one bottle of two liter diet coke and if

If the color turns blue or gray, we need to not sell it.

We need to pull it.

Can I talk to my manager first?

Is your manager there?

No.

Where is manager?

Well, this is really fast, and it's very important, you know?

Yeah, but the main office at 7-Eleven, they don't give me the update for this one.

They don't give you the update?

yeah if if we have a recall for the for that product and then the mom and office they have to

uh you know they get the email it to us yeah we usually send it in the computer system but um you

don't know about that and we had a we we had a report that they were being sold out of here still

through the satellite it shows that they've been rung up so we for we want to make sure the reason

it could be because your diet coke is okay but if you put mentos in it and if it doesn't change

caller then it's okay well well i cannot i cannot do that for now but i have to call yes yes you can

yeah i give you i order it i order can i can i get your name please my name is kula kula yeah

and uh kula what's your contact number sir just in case kula what's the last name chocha c-h-o-c-h-a

You want to speak to the other person over here?

Okay.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

Why not?

Hold on.

I'll go call the manager first, okay?

Okay, thank you.

And then this one is from Texas, you say?

Yeah, Southland.

Texas, Southland.

Yes.

And then, okay, hold on.

And we are on hold, everyone.

Do not be worried about the silence.

Trying to get our Diet Coke shower on here, you know?

celebrate toronto raptors winning nba finals yeah which i'm all for because you know they beat the

magic in round one and i'm cool with that at least my team the magic lost to the fucking

champions eventual champions and i know that that game one uh magic versus raptors we gave

them fucking shiner they probably would not have won the finals it wasn't for that first magic game

because i got them woke them up they got their butts whooped up on them by the magic game ones

the first series all right i'm just gonna dial another one we're gonna sit here show's almost

over gotta get some pranks on gotta feed the people hey i also want to thank all you listeners

man you guys rock and all the supporters you know you don't have to support the show to listen i'm

not like that but i'm glad those that do because really that the donations today on youtube and

one uh that i've gotten the donations are gonna probably go towards a new camera because i might

have blown this one out with the fucking water damage that was the original store that i called

hanging up because the manager said no he's crazy thank you for calling 7-eleven hello my name is

akulo gonzalez i'm calling from the corporate office hi hi uh did you not receive the email

about diet coke two liters uh do you have any in the store right now okay they did anybody it is

the manager receive it in the morning but i don't i don't know okay did you not do the test for the

diet coke two liter to check to see if it has the uranium shavings in it because i have customers

hello i need you to do a test of the diet coke two liter i'll tell you what to do is to see if

we need to not to pull it off the shelf let me do it on the computer what no not on the computer you

You need to get a two liter of Diet Coke and a package of Mentos.

Okay, what kind of Mentos?

The mint.

The mint flavored Mentos.

Like the blue white one.

A two liter Diet Coke, yeah.

Okay, two liter Diet Coke and what else?

Mentos.

Mint flavored Mentos, you know?

It's a candy.

Mentos candy.

It's like a roll.

It looks like a roll of quarters, kind of.

It's like a long stick.

It's like a stick.

You know?

It's, oh shit.

Mentos the Freshmaker.

you know okay i need you to put three pieces of mentos inside the diet coke two liter open it and

put inside yes please where are you doing where are you doing this yeah why where are you gonna

do it on the counter or my name is aculo gonzalez okay why i do that we need to check if it changes

colors if it turns gray we need to not sell them because it's it's it's contaminated but if it

doesn't change color then it's okay you have to it's important it's for

compliance I'm in Texas I'm in Texas I'm in the corporate office in Texas I need

you to do this now please this is important it could it could make our

our customers sick okay can you call back because i have to meet the manager first no no you need

to do it now no i cannot do that god damn it i have to help the customer because i have a long

line you're gonna get in big trouble if you don't do it okay bye damn it i thought we had her

thought we had her hello i'm calling from the corporate office my name is akula gonzalez i'm

here with southland corporation okay uh we received a report from the computer system

that you're still selling diet coke two liters yes i have i'm calling from the corporate office

i understand that you're selling diet coke two liters here you're really what is this in regard

to the diet coke shape the shavings and the diet coke are you still selling diet coke off the

shelf did you perform the field test yet to check to see whether or not it's safe to sell

you're

You're at the Hawaii store.

Yeah, you're at the Hawaii store on Hawaii Kai?

Yeah, that's correct.

Store number?

I don't have a record of that.

I don't have the store number spreadsheet here in front of me.

Someone already checked it out from the SharePoint site.

I can't get to it.

We've been receiving a lot of calls from people claiming to make sure.

Is that the Brad Carter thing?

No, that's not what this is.

All right.

hang on one moment okay i'm calling from the corporate office what do you want uh we need

to do a field test of the diet coke two liter oh we don't do that on the phone yeah you do stupid

are you stupid are you stupid oh you stupid monk you've can you burnt pineapple kanaka get out of

here damn it wasting my time see i used to be able to get the store numbers i used to always

have them ready when i called but their website doesn't give you a store number probably because

of this if i could get just one geyser going just one geyser hello 7-eleven poly how can i help you

hello uh is this the kai kailua location yes uh near kailua high school kalua road okay

good uh i'm calling from the corporate office southland corporation

right uh what's do you have you done the field test for the diet coke yet okay i don't know

know anything of that and um because our um our manager is not in right now uh-huh yeah and so i

don't know if we did it or not okay i can tell you normally on is it normally at the shift well

not normally not normally but we didn't get a report back that you had completed it and the

problem is if the diet coke is contaminated needs to be pulled off the shelf and not sold to anybody

okay okay well let me call my manager and let them know that there's pieces of uranium and

graphite in it oh my gosh all right so i can tell you what to do right now to get this taken care of

okay okay i'll do that okay if you can grab a diet coke two liter anyone and a pack of mentos

candies okay hold on all right you know what sir can i call you back i need to get permission from

my boss i don't have an incoming line but this is really quick and once we take care of this i'll

be out of your way you can go on with your day with your shift okay um hey this is for compliance

i have a gentleman on the phone he's calling from the corporate office he wants me to check

the diet um pepsi in our store because there's like a recall diet coke diet coke i'm sorry

yeah he wants me to get a pack of mentos and uh and a bottle of diet coke and test it to see if

it's contaminated oh no no no okay okay okay thank you okay thank you yeah he

just asked me to get that tell her I said asshole tell her I said she's

asshole okay sir I'm not gonna I'm not gonna have this conversation

labia labia thank you labia damn it it ain't gonna happen the monkeys in Hawaii

Hawaii have gotten caught on.

This is a prank.

Oh no, this is a prank.

Maybe there's been a memo sent out.

I haven't had one of these work out in quite some time

since the Italian guy in the UK did it for me.

Vaffanculo.

I give up.

It's one of the morning shows over.

Sorry, there really was no pranks there at the last part of the show.

I tried.

I stuck to a failed idea.

A useless failed idea.

Did my best.

all right everyone be sure to listen tomorrow night to dwight mcclanahan and the dwight mcclanahan

show 10 p.m eastern 7 p.m pacific only on prank call nation the station where you're listening

to me now yeah we do a quick check of uh youtube see if anyone else needs uh kudos for their

generosity no we're caught up there again thank you ryan for your very nice very nice donation

nation everyone else who donated your everyone is just as important as the other thank you thank

you for everyone who called in and shared tonight dom the bomb brad carter that got hung up on and

others thank you to dave king for making me laugh thank you everybody for joining on this adventure

i hope you had a good time thank you parkman for sending in numbers for me to call y'all have a

good weekend enjoy your saturday have a good father's day if you're a father or have a father

Get some steak on Sunday, Father's Day.

Calls (16, 55 min of 1 h 37 min)

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