Madhouse 1001305c

Um, let's see, yeah, let me call the real Bruno Vega.

I'm going to call the real Bruno Vega and Winchester, and this one goes out to a reclute

who is the purveyor of the world-famous Bruno Vega call.

Bruno Vega, well, the Bruno Vega voice is, I love it, dude.

Yeah.

It's nuts.

I know, man, freaking nuts.

Yeah, prick.

Yeah, prick, fucking asshole.

All right, everybody, we'll be right back with the real Bruno Vega in just one moment.

Speak to Bruno, please.

It's him.

Look, I want to talk to you about something.

Who do you think you're going around?

You called my cousin in Puerto Rico, and you said that you're going to kick his ass, man.

Hey, you got the wrong one.

No, man, this is Bruno Vega in Winchester.

Yeah.

Yeah, you've had the house from my sister-in-law for a long time,

and he said you're calling him in Puerto Rico.

Hey, you got the wrong one.

Talking that shit, man.

You got the wrong one.

Look, man, I'm up here.

I'm in Richmond, man.

I'm not too far from you.

Hey, you got the wrong one.

You're going to have a problem.

You're going to find yourself with a problem with me.

Hey, you got the wrong one.

What, are you afraid of me, man?

What's up, Bruno?

Hey, you got the wrong one.

You're a pussy, man.

You got the wrong one.

That's all you can say.

You got the wrong one.

I know what you're doing, you son of a bitch.

Vegas is a bunch of dirty people.

Well, he didn't stay on for long.

Jeez.

That was a nice try, though.

Milkman, where the hell are you?

I lost Milkman.

I'm not off the air, am I?

No.

Apparently, I'm not.

Hang on.

Oh, I know why.

Yeah, I brought me down.

there you are i forgot i brought the wave wave yeah so uh that was okay that was a good call

i was laughing my ass off that's all he's missing yeah my bad yeah that's unfortunate that he

couldn't um he couldn't uh get into with me i was just trying i was trying to push just trying to

prod i was like yeah i can get him yeah exactly he wouldn't bite he wouldn't he was close he was

he was getting agitated you know yeah you almost broke over yeah well let's call this crap i have

I don't know what the hell that first name is, but I'm going to make fun of her.

It was a black woman who answered at 9.33 p.m. just two hours ago, but she lives in Georgia.

Maybe she's up still.

Hang on, everybody.

We'll try her now.

Georgia?

Hello.

Yes, hello.

Is this Matahakalejikalakala?

Is this Matahakalejikala?

No, you've got the wrong number.

Is this Miss Crap?

No.

Who is this?

Who you want?

I'm looking for Ms. Crab.

You're looking for who?

Look, I lost something.

I lost my cell phone, and I'm trying to see.

I've got to call my son.

Hello?

Well, you've got the wrong number.

This is not Ms. Crab?

No, it's not.

I'm looking for Mac DeHallicatica.

You've got the wrong number.

Mac DeHallicatica.

Enter your destiny.

She didn't last too long either.

That was a good one.

I'm going to try to get her.

Oh, you know how I want to call again?

I wanted to call her every week.

We need to do Nautica again.

Was that her?

The lady that talked to me about Turkey?

Oh, you talked...

Oh, okay.

No, no, no.

I got those numbers.

You still got the number, right?

No.

Do you have that number still?

I lost it.

Yeah, I'll get it.

I'll get it.

Yeah.

I usually save all my numbers, but I'm behind on that, too.

Yeah, I saved that last.

If you don't send me numbers in AOL, if you're sending me in Google like you do, I don't archive them.

Yeah, there's no way to archive them unless you cut and paste.

Yeah, exactly.

And I keep forgetting to do that.

Yeah, and I kicked myself because those are great numbers.

You still have them?

Yeah.

That's awesome.

You're going to get that.

You know you can put Google Talk in Trillion?

No.

Where is it?

I didn't see the plug-in.

They got a plug-in for it now?

You have to use Trillion Pro, though.

Oh.

Why don't you bust out a serial number for me, man?

I can't find one, man.

I can't find it.

I've been looking for one, too.

I know.

You've got a virus trying to find one,

and I actually went online on several peer-to-peer networks

trying to find a copy of it,

and every one had a virus.

Every single one had a virus on it that I found.

I was like, fuck it.

Yeah, there's a bunch of shit, man.

That's why I don't use that peer-to-peer,

because all the NMVirus is on there.

So if anybody has nose of a working cereal or a crack

that's legit for Trillium,

to upgrade it to Trillium Pro,

by all means, please let me and Lookman know,

because we could use that.

Because we depend on Google Talk a lot.

actually so that's our alternative yeah well it's kind of cool to have something independent

case trilling goes down we can still communicate in google you know exactly i might not like well

i didn't have to but it'd be nice i was i just like to see it on there it'd be cool

have it on there also you're like god damn it yeah hey man if they if they if they get us if

they get us a cereal something man we'll give them a ticket into the carlito store or yeah do a

special request call them yeah that's that's definitely enough for a free carlito madhouse

house shirt, um, which will become available as soon as I get it set up, which is probably

going to be like a year from now. Let's try to get some more listeners and shit before

we start doing that. Yeah. So anyway, um, all right. Uh, shall we continue? Yeah. Let's

continue. I just found it now. Let's see. Oh, okay. That's right. You're finding that.

So send that to me. Send that to me in AOL if you don't mind. All right. All right. So

I can keep that that way. Even if I don't save it. I'm just trying to remember her name.

name. If I say it, was it

Isidra Colon? Um, you know what?

I have it here. I can,

I think I asked for her. It wasn't Pasha

on Booty Stink, because that was the husband.

No, that was the husband and wife.

Oh, it was, okay. Okay.

I can find it in a second. Let me see

here. I just got a big text. I gotta look

through it here. Yeah, I actually

had to play an episode here that

I just edited today, which is

available as well as

Menzies. I don't know.

All the good shows are at

madhouselive.com. Again, that's madhouselive.com. Past episodes are up there, and prank calls

from the show, edited out, are in there. And the archive shows are edited. You don't have

to sit there and listen to the music if you don't want to. You don't have to listen to

the breaks. You don't have to listen to the dialing. You don't have to listen to the wrong

numbers or the unfunny parts, because it's all edited out. All I put in there is what

was an actual good show. So it's much shorter than listening, yeah, and you can hear it

straight through.

Let's get the straight meat.

Yeah, exactly.

The straight meat.

Right.

I need to get an iPod, too.

I have so much shit

that I want to buy.

I want to get an iPod Nano.

I want to get the black one.

The black one looks hot, man.

The iPod Nano

looks fucking sexy.

Not worth the extra money

for the black, though.

No.

Is it extra money

for the black?

I don't know.

Hell, yeah.

I have to buy it.

If I was going to do that,

I would just go ahead

and get the 60.

I have to buy

the serious,

exact,

Exact, Jockey, Sears handheld Walkman tuner.

I've got to buy that, too, before Howard goes on.

Because, look, I need to hear that shit, man.

Especially if Zola's going to be on there.

I'm going to hear that shit.

I had XM for a while.

I canceled XM recently in order to get serious.

But I have about the...

I wonder when that's supposed to start with Howard Stern.

Is he supposed to start on that?

January 1st.

If you go to HowardStern.com, you'll see a countdown clock, actually, my friend.

Okay.

And that's the latest.

You might go earlier.

I don't think it's going to go earlier anymore, but consequently enough, he's named his two channels, what is it, Douche 100 and Bag 101, I think it is, so I'm going to play right now, these are, no lie, these are the first sounds, the very first sounds from that station, so this is history in the making right here,

This is the first sounds that came through on Sirius Channel 100,

which is Howard Stern's primary network.

This is Douchebag.

This is Douche, actually.

Douche 100.

Here's a listen to the very first of what I think is going to be history in radio,

which is Stern going to satellite radio

and the eventual death of crappy terrestrial commercial FCC radio.

Take a listen.

This is John the Farter.

They had this guy farting.

This is the guy that farts on Howard all the time.

He can fart like marathons

Like for

Like an hour straight

On command

On command yeah

Oh my god

And they

I think they had him farting

For like a super long time

That was the very first thing

They ever did

This is them setting up right now

So I uh

I wish

I so wish I was serious

Right now though

Cause it's so

You know what I mean

Like no commercials and shit

Listen

And the music is so much

Better quality

I'm an internet radio freak

Yeah

Me too

I'm getting into it

Oh god you think so right

If I'm doing an internet radio show

I've got so many

Dozens of streams I rip

This takes too fucking long

That's what I like about this, you know, this streamer for me,

is that the ID3 tags and stuff are all set up right.

You know, it already names the songs for you and everything.

Right, yeah, exactly.

If they're set up right.

So this is what they played for like two straight days, I think.

I love farts.

Farts are great.

Anyway, that was a waste of time.

He must have been listening to our Amos song, too.

Yeah, exactly.

Instead of shooting himself, he just tried to fart himself off.

I'm going to fart off.

All right.

Well, let's continue with the prank calls.

before people get restless here.

Let's pump up some colors, man.

Yeah, exactly.

Wake some people up.

Sideshook is telling me,

did I see the new iPod regular

in-screen and place videos?

You know, I saw that today.

Didn't Steve Jobs announce that today, I think,

or yesterday, the new iPod video, iPod, iPod video?

Oh, yeah, the colors.

All the color ones now have the photo

and the option to put composite video in it.

Well, this one here is going to have video support,

port, and it's going to be supported with downloadable TV shows.

Supposedly, the day after a TV show comes on, you can download it through, I guess,

iTunes, and you can watch the whole TV episode on your iPod, and in theory, you can also

do the same with movies and shit, so can you imagine if Netflix was doing that, where they

would send you a copy of the movie to your iPod for like $1.49, and you could watch it

on, it's like a two-inch screen, but still.

Well, you know, if they actually get that kind of service running,

somebody like the PSP or somebody would probably pick that up, too.

Oh, yeah.

You ever seen video on the PSPs?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It looks, yeah, yeah.

A friend of mine.

Oh, it's great.

A friend of mine bought a stolen one at work for, not at work, but he's got a guy.

He goes to the barbershop, you know.

He's kind of like that.

So he's got the bootleg DVDs, and he had the stolen PSP he bought for $100.

That thing was awesome.

It looks so cool.

I played it for a whole day.

Dude, it is, man.

I've been getting all kinds of good movies.

Yeah.

Yeah, and you can surf the internet on it now.

Supposedly, it gets on wireless networks, and they have a web browser.

Yeah, you can.

You can do it through 802.1 network.

Yeah, I haven't bought anything yet.

I've eliminated the Nintendo one, the new Nintendo, the Duo, whatever.

I'm not going to get that for sure.

The DS?

The DS, fuck that.

I got it, it sucks.

Oh, you do?

Yeah, see, I'm not going to get that.

Then my next option is either the PSP or an iPod.

I want one application.

I got both of them now.

I got me a 20-gig iPod.

Finally, I broke down.

Okay.

Click-wheel type.

Okay, yeah, exactly, exactly.

I'm thinking about one of the two, so.

Yeah, and Jubus told me that iPod Nanos are as thin as number two pencils.

Yeah, I saw that today.

I saw pictures of them, like, next to a number two pencil.

I think Nanos are the ones that still have the drives,

and the Shuffle, I think, is the one that has a flash memory.

Shuffle is no screen, so you can't tell what song.

Yeah, you have to.

Yeah, it's flash memory.

Yeah, exactly.

So I don't want that shit.

That's like only 99 bucks, right?

But it's really cheap.

Yeah, right.

99, 150 bucks.

Man, when I was in Manhattan, when I went to New York, I swear to God, so many people had iPods.

iPods were everywhere.

Everybody.

Yeah.

People from like, you know, just normal people, like executives had them on.

People who looked like they were working in weight staff had them on.

People just walking, shopping, people working out, rich people, poor people all had iPods on the train.

train, I would, I swear to God, there was a majority of people with iPods and without

iPods on the train that I was riding.

Oh, man, it was crazy.

It's like cell phones here, man.

It's like a status thing, you know?

Oh, hell yeah, man.

When I went to the Virgin Islands, yeah, cell phones, everybody's cell phones up and down.

Cell phones, cell phones.

Oh, my cell phone.

It's like, fuck that.

Over there, it's the Bluetooth headsets, too.

I got one for Athena.

Athena, I got her one.

They walk around like 75 cents, you know?

With the freaking Star Trek headset on.

Exactly.

And they fucking flash when you talk.

It's so god ugly.

Hey, I got Mary Manzi's or was it Raw's milk and I'll send them both to you.

Okay, good.

Good deal.

Hey, you know what I've noticed?

I've got Joe Meatless too.

Meatless?

Okay, good, good.

Did you send him in AOL?

I'm just sending him now.

Oh, you're sending him now.

I'll give you back Dick Peterson too if you need him.

I'm going to send him to you in AIM.

Okay.

Randy's saying that the Cardinals lost.

Well, that's unfortunate.

I'm sorry about that.

Okay, there you go.

Yeah, and, yeah, you know, Randy's got it.

Randy Dandy's talking to me now.

He's telling me that he's not buying an iPod until he can get a camera on it.

You know what?

Very smart.

They already got a camera for it.

They do, really?

Oh, they have an attachable one, I'm assuming.

Yeah, it's a plug-in.

Okay.

Oh, well, there it is.

Everything plugs in.

I got the one with the remote.

I want to get, you know.

That little FM transmitter.

Hey, that's the FM modulator.

You see, you know what?

Yeah, I'm trying to get one.

Right now, as it stands, I'm going to be walking around with, in theory,

a Sirius handheld thing

with an FM modulator, and then I guess

I'll be walking around with an iPod with an FM

modulator, I guess. I don't know.

You know what I mean?

That's the thing, man. You may be able to rip straight from the Sirius

into your iPod.

Man, I've got a

fucking phone again.

I've got a co-worker who wants

to sell me his laptop for $300.

I'm like, oh Jesus, I want it

so bad. I just want it for school,

man. It's just cool. Athena has hers

series right now. How old is it? I just love

using it. I sit on the couch and

use it while I watch TV.

It's got Centrino.

I think it's... I don't know what it is.

Is it Centrino or

has it built in 801?

No, it is. It's a 1.4

gigahertz processor, I think. It's nothing too

fancy, but for me,

I have a nice computer here at home.

My computer is decent. I'm about to upgrade

as soon as I move out when we get

this house together. My expenses are going to

go down when I move out to the house because I pay

rent on an apartment, I'll be paying

on my own, have a one-bedroom home by myself,

and then I'll be splitting a mortgage

with Athena, so that's probably going to be a lot cheaper.

I'm probably going to save at least $300 a month,

and I'll have money to buy lots of gadgets.

It's going to be great. There you go.

The first thing I'm going to do, though, is I'm going to upgrade the studio

here for the show. It's going to sound a lot

better. Better mics, better computer,

get a sound, get a foam patch,

I'm going to get a mixer,

and everything. You guys got one of these Shure

SM58s, man. These mics

Or rock

I've got fans

Blowing straight at it

And everything

You can't hear shit

I'm getting one room

For myself

Apparently in this house

That I'm going to

Spill with her

So it's going to be

For my computer

Isolated

Acoustically

Yeah it's going to be

Isolated acoustically

It's going to be

In a nice quiet part

Of the house

And everything

It's going to work out

Perfectly

I think it's Mary Menzies

You were supposed

To call her

Or you ended up

Down or all

Or milking

Or one or the other

You know what

I was trying to

Get to that

The episode here

You're the last one they just sent on archive shows.

The following is an exclusive of ECU Radio.

I was in charge.

You shouldn't be able to vote either, you bitch.

That's great.

How old are you, ma'am?

Huh?

How old are you?

I'm 50 years old.

You're 50?

Wow.

Yeah.

And you fried the okra?

What did you fry the okra?

You have to come down and shoot it yourself.

We'll try to get to it.

Who?

Milker.

Yeah.

And is that Milka?

Yeah.

You dialed either one or Menzies.

I can't remember.

I know you dialed the wrong number.

Okay, anyway.

I'm going to do the first call.

Let me call that lady.

What's her name?

Erlada?

What's her last name?

Erlada Milken.

Oh, it is?

That's it.

Erlada Milken.

Man, but if it was the wrong number, I'm not going to be calling the right person.

Shit.

Well, either one of those two.

It's one or the other.

Okay.

All right.

We're just sending it.

I've got to find it.

She's probably up watching.

Prankwise is calling in.

Should I put prank master on finally? Oh

Tell me what you finally what you decided is right back on the air. He's been messaged in a hell out of me

I'm it's here. We're gonna do sir. I think I thought I was over time somebody told me so that was on

He might be going on after I think he went to I think he's gone. I'll see him on those all our calls

Oh, I don't think it's going on because uh, Randy Dandy told me that I have my own soundboard now

Okay, like he said like landed in to tell me I have my own sound blood now

Yeah, I just heard that.

Oh yeah, I heard of it. I haven't seen it or tested it out yet, but I heard that it's up there and that it's funny.

You should check it out.

Well, I want it down.

Who's hosting it? KDK? If he's hosting it, ask him, I suppose.

No, because I don't want that shit up there, because it's not funny anymore.

Alright, man. Well, I'm about to call it a night here, but I thank you, and as I said, be strong.

Just keep doing what you're doing, son.

Milkman, is that on with you?

Yeah, you can't hear him, but he can hear you. Yes, sir, he's here.

All right, uh, so, uh, Milkman, call me back when, give me a call when you're done, all right?

You got that, Milkman?

Yep.

He says yep.

All right.

Call you after the show.

All right.

Hey, I got good news, man.

Boonie the Man got a number, serious.

Kidding.

Yeah, man, so I'll send him to you, and he said he ain't confirmed them, but he says they're probably pretty reliable.

You know, just for that, we'll call Boonie's number.

Hang on, let me take this call.

One of Boonie's, I mean, one of Boonie's numbers we'll have to call.

All right. Dedicated.

I will be definitely confirming what's going on here.

I'm Black Cook. I work with Adam.

Black Cook. How you doing, Black Cook?

I'm all right, man. I can't wait to give that big fat pudgy fuck a big anal.

Dry? How you do it?

Yeah, man. We just use the Crisco from the kitchen.

Yeah.

We love to.

You make him your cellmate?

Yeah, man. When we be back in Chile, man, we'll be making that shit, man.

And then he just bends over.

I see his big ass.

He look like a white bitch.

I say, yeah, I just started humming him.

Yeah, we good friends.

We go back in the cooler, man.

After I get my anal, I just put it right in his mouth.

And he cleans it all off.

And then it's real good, man.

I tell you, that's the best sex I've ever had with that little, well, not little, that fat-ass white cracker.

That's gross, Black Man.

You know what I'm saying?

It's pretty good.

Pretty good age.

I tell you what.

I got some I got this weird thing though. I got in the last time. I did that I'm my dick pulled out

I got I got these hurt

What's going on baby, sorry, we're not tracking the call

Who is that that was just a mistake I made a mistake I dropped the phone in it

Okay, okay

Yeah, he ain't underage is he so now tell me sir

Yeah. What's Pregnancy's hygiene like?

Well, what do you mean? After the anal sex?

Well, just in general. I mean, does he go around doing nasty shit while he's cooking?

Yeah, well, he be eating all the time. You know, I'd say, hey, baby, you gotta stop eating.

You know what I'm saying? Because my dick ain't that long.

Your ass is going to get too big. We can't even have anal sex.

Yeah, exactly. After a point, it's two months. I understand.

Yeah, you know what I'm saying? I mean, them bitches get too fat, you know what I'm saying?

He can't have a good anal anymore.

It'd be fucking his rolls, you know.

Pretty soon, man, it'd be fucking his rolls.

All right, well, as our one and only black listener,

is there anything you'd like to say on the air right now?

I'd like to say, motherfucking, y'all a bunch of haters.

That's right.

Y'all motherfuckers at work, man, they treat him bad, you know what I'm saying?

They don't treat me bad.

I whoop their ass.

It's all that shit behind his back.

But I'd like to say, stole somebody's bike on the way home.

I was stealing some guy's bike, man.

Some dude is chasing me, man.

Yeah, good.

But, uh, cause, uh, I was, I was lootin', man.

I went down to New Orleans, I was lootin'.

I went and got me a Snickers bar and shit, man.

Went into Walgreens.

Got me some jewelry, some watches.

That shit was badass.

I went into Walmart, got me a bike, man.

Niggas stole a bike, that's it.

That's it, man.

Alright, well, you tell, you tell that big fat cracker.

Tell him you're looking for him.

Tell him to stop, stop eating them Pop-Tarts, motherfucker.

You know, I went on, shit, shit, man.

He be eatin' all that shit, man.

Desserts and shit, man.

Man, the manager always talk to him.

But, yeah, man, that Crisco's pretty badass, man.

He don't need no K-Y, man.

That Crisco is where it's at.

Crisco is where it's at.

That shit, we start getting good anal, man.

We start getting the rolling, you know what I'm saying?

That shit get hot, it just get slippery, man.

This is the best white cracker anal I've ever had.

He comes from a long line of white cracker ass.

Well, that's all right, man.

He makes some good pranks, too, man.

I heard him.

Oh, shit, man, that one about the mill, what is that, the prick?

Rick, oh, man, that was funny shit.

Well, you know, he uses, he's racist, though.

He uses the N-word all the time.

You know that, right?

What?

He sure, he does?

Well, I'm going to give him fucking double anal next time.

I'm going to give him shit, man.

I'm going to get my brother in on that shit.

I just, I thought I should let you know.

Oh.

He just hung up.

I guess, I guess Black Chef is angry.

He doesn't like people using the N-word.

DTT says Carlito does not buy hand-me-downs.

What the hell is that all about?

Oh, some people wish they could have a soundboard and he's bitching.

Yeah, Booney says some people wish they could have us onboarding and pranking us.

I'm telling you, man, it's a true story.

I tried to tell him.

Yeah, that's a goddamn true.

Well, how about we do one last call?

Let's use one of Booney's numbers.

I've got a guy with a microwave for sale, free skin analysis, minister for weddings,

ice cream truck for rent, private bartender for hire.

It's all sexy female.

That black looks bad, man.

Yeah?

I'm hearing it in the replay.

I'm dying.

Oh, really?

Really? Yeah, exactly.

That's great, that's great.

I like this Afro-Hawaiian erotic servicer

calls herself a brick house.

I wish I had that song.

We ought to hook up Black Cook with John

Weedless.

Yeah, we should.

Maybe we should just call her. Let's just call her, man.

Call Ronald Milken?

Yeah, the chick.

She's probably still up.

She sounds like she stays up all night.

My mom does.

She said she's by herself, so she probably watches TV a lot, dude.

Yeah, probably.

Poor old lady.

Oh, she talked to me for a long time.

Geez.

Yeah.

All right, well, Mary Menzies.

People are nice around here, man.

Yeah, okay.

Well, let's call her Ralta.

All right.

In the meantime, we'll get another song.

I love the Milkins.

Yeah, exactly.

Very good.

Well, wow, it's already 12.

Yeah, this is going to be the last call of the night.

I've got to get to sleep.

But, oh, yeah, like I said, I'm going to replay the first hour of the show, everybody.

So, what I'll do is we'll do this last call.

We'll say our goodbyes.

We'll do the outro music.

Give me about five minutes.

Hang on there.

air and i will replay the first hour of the show a lot of people miss it because um the numbers

weren't as high as they are now so if you missed the first hour of the show listen to it because

there is an awesome uh prank call fiesta that goes on what was it called the gangbang the

prank called gangbang um prank mess exactly i'm gonna sit here and lay back in my chair

and just listen to it with a beer so all right well the hell song was it i was gonna play son

Son of a goddamn mother effing...

I don't know.

You can play that cash song again.

Hey, man, I've been...

You definitely got to send that to me.

Yeah.

I've been told by my work that I have to stop cursing.

Can you believe that?

Well, I don't know what the fucking hell people's got a goddamn problem with fucking cussing.

I never fucking cuss.

I don't know what the fuck that's all about.

Fucking cuss all I fucking want, you know what I mean?

You know, hell.

Who is it?

Taylor Mow.

Exactly.

That's how you do it.

All right.

Here's the song I want to play.

All right, everybody.

We'll be right back with the last call of the night.

Tonight we're gonna call back the mother of the madhouse. Let's see if we can get her to be a regular call person.

Her and the Samoan boy. We gotta call them on a semi-weekly basis at least.

Alright, we'll be right back after this one.

Hello?

Hello.

Hello ma'am, how are you?

Alright.

Hey, we talked last week for me.

Uh huh.

We talked about the turkey.

Oh.

Do you remember me?

Yeah.

Can you help me out with something else please?

What?

I got into an argument with my girlfriend.

what I got into an argument with my girlfriend uh-huh I called her the wrong

name in bed I'm not a wrong name yeah why you call her the wrong name I was

tired she keeps asking me and begging me and forcing me to make love to her and I

don't want to sometimes and she you know we got to it I called her the wrong name

and she I think she got mad he got mad well she scratched my chest and

everything and then she took a shower like right then like she wanted to get

at all let me offer her what do i do do i buy flowers do you do yeah what do you think i should

do to make it up all i can tell you do you have a bible in your house yeah i have some it's in

the closet i took it from i went i went to the hotel and it was in the in the drawers and i stole

it they stole it i stole the bible yeah i didn't have any money for the bible and i went to the

church I went to the church the Baptist church and the pastor said that he couldn't give

me a Bible unless I gave him $5 and I don't have $5 so I stole it is that bad you see

where your first mistake come from but I stole the Bible but I wanted to read the Bible but

I don't have the money for it yeah you wanted to read the Bible and you stole it so there

is where your first mistake come from so I have to return it and then find a new one

Exactly.

So I've been reading the Bible this whole time and it's not doing anything for me?

Because you stole it.

I didn't know.

You stole it.

I can't afford a Bible, though.

Find some way to sacrifice that $5.

I went to the bookstore to read the Bible and he said I couldn't read unless I bought a coffee.

Exactly.

I stole the coffee.

All you have to do, you carry back the Bible to the church.

You ask the pastor forgiveness, and the pastor will find a way to give you one.

Well, here's the thing.

I went back to the church for service, and the pastor came out and said,

someone has stolen five Bibles.

Exactly, and you did not show yourself.

Well, I stole five.

Even after, you could have gone to the pastor and tell the pastor,

Pastor, the Bible, because I didn't have the money to take.

Then the pastor will find a way to give you the Bible without you having to be guilty about it.

I stole more than one.

You stole more than one?

Yes. I stole five.

And what did you do with the five?

Well, one of them is for my car. One of them is for the bathroom.

One of them was for work at a bar. I got one for the bar.

And the other one is for me to have.

have i put one in the closet in case the other ones got stolen because you never know anybody

it's still a bible but there is where your mistake is so look i want to tell you there is

me so you have to make it right in order to go right and your girlfriend will also be right with

you but what do i do with the bible well how do i have to give her a bible for her to stay with me

or no no you got to take the bibles and then back confess sin you have done you know what happened

This was Saturday when I took them, and then on Sunday I went to the service Sunday, and he stopped everything.

He said, whoever stole the five Bibles, if I find out, I'm going to call the police.

And you did not give up yourself.

And he said, this is your chance to say it, and you're not in trouble.

Say it in front of everybody.

I didn't want to say it in front of everybody.

Buddy, I don't want to say I'm poor.

Exactly.

So when no one said anything.

You did not want to do it in front of everybody.

But after the service, you should have gone and made your confession right.

You, Jesus, and the pastor.

Nobody else would have known.

Okay, but the worst problem is that when I didn't stand up and nobody stood up,

he said, okay, you know what?

Since no one's going to admit to it, you're all guilty.

And then he got mad and he said, no more church for today.

And he made us all leave.

and then the the biggest problem was he said and before you go if anybody even if you turn yourself

in i'm gonna call the police you better hope i don't find out who stole the bibles and he said

he had an idea who it was and he looked at me he looked at you yeah he knows i did it and he said

he's gonna call the police so what do i do now he's gonna i'm gonna go to jail for i just want

to learn about jesus all you have to do is ask god to forgive you go to him and let him know

what you did and he will forgive you he's about seven you have to ask no you have to have it in

your heart to carry back those five bibles and you have to ask god honestly from your heart

not the minister heart or not your girlfriend heart from your heart and it's what i have done

the minister so nice to me thank you let me ask well what do i say to my girlfriend for her to

to apologize what to do the bibles for i do that tomorrow if i can work on that word can i can i

call you next week and maybe find out what let you know what happened is this mary i'm carlito

saint thomas thank you i'll pray for you too okay god bless you god and the virgin mary and

saint joseph and saint lasterus the blind the virgin's 12 crown 12 stars of the crown bless

you and send over you thank you for everything we'll watch over you too if you or if you go

Go and do the right thing.

And don't tell me, yes, you're doing it,

and then you don't do it tomorrow

because it's going to be a bigger problem tomorrow.

If I would have done this in the first place,

I wouldn't have called her.

Fantastic call, dude.

Mary is hilarious, man.

She is great.

She's a trip.

I'm going to have to call her every week now.

I need to call Mary every week and talk to her.

She's good, man.

That's a good way to end up a show, you know.

That definitely is.

Oh, my God.

That is too funny.

She always gives.

Yeah that is too funny

I can't believe that

Alright well that's going to be the show

As I said

Go ahead and stay tuned

For the repeat of the first hour

Of tonight's episode

Where there was the great gangbang

Call as everybody is calling it

Do not miss it please stay on

You're going to love it

On top of that we're going to be back

Again here

Next Thursday

Be sure to listen tomorrow night at 10pm

to Zolar, host of the

Zolar Vision show, Zolar of course

from the Howard Stern e-show

and the Howard Stern radio show

fame

he's on at 10pm eastern standard

time tomorrow, the always

controversial Zolar Vision show

the staple

the cornerstone of PC radio

KDK's Lunatic Fringe

will be on Saturday at 10pm eastern

as well, be sure to listen to that

that is a very very good show

So, KDK does a bang-up, super-duper job.

Sunday nights, I think, I'm hoping Sean Ward will come back.

Sean Ward is a very funny comedian.

Artist.

Artist, artist, and a very funny person.

Very, very great guy.

Actually, we need to get him to call her.

I wish we had his number.

Can you imagine Mabel talking to Mary?

Miss Mary.

Mabel and Miss Mary.

They would just go crazy.

Yeah, that would be great.

They have a great conversation.

So we've got to hook that up one day.

But he's on at 8 p.m. on Sunday.

If he's not on, I'm sure Zola or Reklut or myself and Milkman or KDK

or somebody will do something that night because we always get a lot of people in there.

No matter what, listen to PCU at night.

Anywhere starting from 10 o'clock on down, you're going to hear something.

You never know.

It's to be surprised anything can happen.

Yeah, Monday night you have Billy Muir, also from the Howard Stern Show.

He's a comedian, a very good impressionist.

From Howard Stern Famous

I said he's got the

Friends of Bill M show

Will be on as well with Dr. Lego

Who of course provides us with our

Space for the

Server space provides the stream

That you're listening to right now

So please patronize him every Monday night

At 8pm Eastern great show they have there

Lego is getting next year

Lego I don't know if he'll review another episode

Of Prank the World but if he does

That'd be great

And he's been a call here

I missed that.

Damn.

He's been a caller and a guest caller here on the show before in the past,

so be sure to check him out.

Tuesday night, Reclude, who was also on tonight.

Reclude is on at, he starts at 7 p.m., which is really cool.

I kind of like that.

He starts at 7, and that leaves enough time for someone else to cover after him.

And get some good people to answer him.

Yeah, get some early numbers, and that's good for people in Europe,

such as Nunu, who can't stay up.

Exactly.

Yeah, it's good for him because it's earlier for him.

Anyway, that's at 7 p.m. Eastern, the Recluse Tuesday night hand-release.

And, of course, KDK returns Wednesday for his Psychobabble,

which is the only non-prank call show on the network, but it's still a hoot.

And if you listen, you might even hear a prank call, so be sure to check that out.

It's always a party-hardy show.

It's a potpourri of surprises.

Exactly.

It's a very good show.

It's a good unwind Thursday at 10 p.m.

and then we'll be back next Thursday

the 21st here at 9.15pm

Eastern for another

bang up episode of the Madhouse

great show tonight

had a great time

everybody thank you for participating

everybody who called, everybody in the chat room

be sure once again to visit

to visit kdkprankcalls.com

again that's

kdkprankcalls.com

as well as

the Madhouse home which is

madhouselive.com

We'll be here again, as I said, next week at 10 p.m.

Milkman, thank you for being on.

Thanks a lot, man.

All right.

Great time we had, everybody.

And we'll catch you all here next week.

Have a great weekend.

Enjoy your Friday.

TGIF, it is now Friday.

You can slack tomorrow, everybody.

I'm going to slack so much tomorrow that I'm going to get drunk.

Exactly.

It's time for...

Hey, you know, the dead needs to lighten up, man.

Yeah.

Slack and lighten up, dude.

What's wrong with the dead?

Is he upset in the chat room again?

He's talking suicidal here.

He gets a lot of waste out.

He's joking.

Don't listen to him.

I think so.

I think he's just trying to keep people interested.

Lighten up anyway.

He's got a sick humor.

He has dark humor, which I kind of dig.

That's why I like him.

He's a funny guy.

He did great tonight, though.

Great job today.

Don't go away.

Don't leave us because we love you.

We don't love you.

Thanks for calling in.

Yeah, you did a great job.

He was in the big gangbang.

Yeah, exactly.

That's what I'm saying.

We need to keep him on for the next one

This will let him not

Exactly, and everybody stay tuned

We're going to replay that

Alright, that's it, I can't talk anymore

Milkman has said thank you, thank you everybody

I love you all, and have a good weekend

God damn it

Rest in peace, Big John

Yeah, Big John Melendez

Who?

Big John Cash

You've just been listening

To a sample of The Madhouse

If you like what you hear

Here, be sure to listen in every Thursday night at 9.15 p.m. on PCU Radio,

your number one source for live and recorded prank calls.

For more information, visit madhouselive.com or kdkprankcalls.com.

Calls (4, 19 min of 43 min)

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